03x12 - Most Wanted Wish/This is Your Wish

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod

♪ Love bod, hot rod

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.

A.j.: Me. Ooh, me.

Ooh, ooh, pick me.

I want bald and smart.

Yay!

Hmm, I want bad teeth...

Both: finally!

And lower middle-class.

That's me.

[Burps]

How's it going, sport?

This stinks!

I'm always picked last.

They have to pick you now, timmy.

Yeah, you're the last living thing here.

What choice do they have?

Boy: I want...that rock.

[Ring]

Well, children,

In my ongoing attempt to scar you for life,

We will be playing

Musical lab partners!

[Pop goes the weaselplaying]

Whew! Whew!

Whew! Whew!

Well, miss tang, it appears

Turner is the only living thing available,

So you'll be paired with...

This rock!

Hee hee!

Timmy: aw, well,

I might not be wanted at school,

But at least I'm home,

Where I'm always wanted.

Both: timmy, we want you...

To be a good boy while we're at bingo.

What?!

But you were supposed to stay home tonight.

"B- ." That was before

We got picked to be the bingo callers.

Well, what about dinner?

Mom: "i- ." I ate it,

But I saved you some leftover cabbage casserole.

But you can't just leave me home all alone.

That's why you get to"n"joy

An evening with vicky!

"G," that's great.

"O," no, it's not.

Both: bingo!

Ha ha ha!

Bye, timmy.

Oh, come on, timmy, cheer up.

How can i?

Nobody wants me--

Not here, not at school.

I even lost out to a rock.

Can you blame them?

Look how cute he is.

We're twinsies! Isn't it great?

Don't take it personally, timmy.

It's not that they don't wantyou.

Yeah, it's just that they want everybody

And everything else more.

Rock, back me up, here.

Well, I'm tired--

Tired of not being wanted enough.

I wish I was the most wanted kid in the world!

Now, timmy, remember our little talk

About choosing wishes carefully.

Let's think for a second.

Done!

[Yawning]

Uh, good morning.

Both: good morning, timmy.

Oh, sit near me, sweetie.

No! No! Sit near me. I'm a guy, like you.

Uh, it's ok. I'm late for the bus.

Then let me drive you, timmy.

No, timmy, let me.

[Horn honking]

No, let me. It's my job, timmy.

He's got a point there. Love you. Bye.

All: sit with me, timmy!

This is gonna be sweet!

I want pink hat and buck teeth.

No, I want pink hat and buck teeth,

And I'm prepared to hire someone

To fight you for him.

Me, too.

Awesome! Guys fighting over me!

It's time for science class,

Which means it's time for trixie tang

To want me as her lab partner.

And then she won't want rock,

And I'll never have to share him again!

I'm gonna race off to tell him.

Hi, trixie.

I feel...

I feel like I want...

Whew! Made it.

Rock, I'll save you!

Timmy, i...

I...

[Thud] girl: there he is!

All: it's timmy!

[Screaming]

Girls: aah!

There he is!

[Screaming]

Whew! Made it...again.

Aah! Aah!

Ahh! So much wanting.

Well, timmy, you sure are wanted.

Look.

Now even rock is copying you.

Well, next to your pneumatic tubeway emergency escape pod system,

I would say this could be your dumbest wish yet.

What are you talking about?

The being att*cked by girls is both cool and creepy,

But being wanted is awesome!

[Helicopter hovering]

Aw, now what?

[Sirens]

Officer: timmy turner,

You're wanted in every state in the union

And the district of columbia.

Agent: timmy turner,

You're at the top of the f.b.i's most wanted list.

Officer: hey, we were here first.

Ok, I think that's enough wanting for one lifetime.

That's more like it.

Allow me.

[Crash]

Timmy turner,

I want you to be my godchild.

I want him to be mygodchild.

No, mine.

All: we want him to be our godchild.

Hey, back off!

He'sourgodchild.

Jorgen: tough tinkies.

According toda rules,

If every godparent in the universe

Wants to have the same godchild,

There's only one supernatural way to settle the issue...

A butt-kicking, rip-snorting texas cage match!

All fairies to texas!

Not good.

Even worse! Back off!

I have my mom's cooking!

Man: aah! Cabbage casserole.

Ha! I told wanda this escape pod to texas

Would come in handy.

Yee-haw!

[Wolf howls]

Jorgen: the rules of the texas cage match

Are very simple.

If you get blasted in the butt, you lose!

Of course. Typical.

Last one standing gets to be timmy turner's godparent.

[Ring]

Oh! Darn it!

I told you this was a cool wish.

Everybody wants you,

And if we lose, we can't keep you.

Fairy: aah!

Then let their undeniable want of me be their demise.

Hey, who wants me?

I'm years old,

And I'm chock full of wishes.

All: we do! We do! We do!

We do! We do!

Ow! You sh*t me in the ear.

I always was the worst sh*t

At the fairy academy.

Better leave the blasting to me.

Fairy: can't believe you sh*t me in the ear.

We want you, timmy.

It's working.

They want me so much,

They're too distracted to block their butts.

Hey, why aren't you two distracted

By how much you want me?

Timmy, we're already your fairy godparents.

We couldn't want you any more if we tried.

Yeah, just because there's a new rock in town

Doesn't mean he gets to replace you in my heart.

Look, I'm sorry, but he was here first.

All right, don't get snippy with me.

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Both: uh-oh!

Get him, cosmo. You can do it.

But...but...but...

[Thud]

Ha ha ha!

Nobody puts the boot to my glute.

I will be timmy's godparent!

And now, puny fairy,

Prepare...

Timmy: jorgen,

Over here.

Don't you want to grant my every wish?

Y-yes!

I cannot deny you.

I wish I had a puppy.

[Grr]

I must obey.

I want to please.

Now, cosmo!

[Grr]

Aah!

Don't you want to give me a cookie?

A really big cookie?

Cannot refuse your silliest whim.

And milk.

Cosmo, please, you've got to focus.

[Shouting]

[Grr]

Both: yay, cosmo!

Yay, me!

Cosmo, you did it.

You won the fairy rage in the cage.

And now you get to choose

Whose fairy godparent you want to be.

Rock, it's not you. It's me.

Ok, it's you.

I want that rock.

Ecch! You will have to fight me for it.

Fairies: aah!

Can we please get out of here?

Cosmo: and you said the return tube

From texas to dimmsdale was a dumb wish.

Oh, man, lesson learned:

If I have to choose between being wanted by everybody

And ignored by everybody except my friends,

I wish I was ignored.

Timmy, you might want to choose

Your wishes carefully.

Done!

Thanks, guys.

Guys?

Oh, guys?

Guys!

We're ignoring timmy in france?

Ha! And you said the escape pod to paris was a bad idea.

Aah!

Let's get out of here!

Cosmo: it was really nice of you

To take us to the pointy crown, mama cosma.

Mama cosma: well,

It is fairy world's most famous restaurant.

Only the finest for my little cosmo loo loo.

And it was really nice of you

To invite timmy and wanda.

Hi, timmy and wanda.

Ow!

Unh!

Did we have to come to fairy world

To have lunch with cosmo's mom?

Ow!

You know what a mama's boy cosmo is.

Ow!

But the only time she ever includes us...

Both: ow!

Is when it involves some sinister plot

To get rid of you...

Both: ow!

And to get him to move back home with her.

Waiter: would you like some chocolate pudding?

That depends.

Which door did you come out of?

Waiter: excuse me, are you cosmo?

That's what it says on my undies,

And they've never lied to me before.

How can we help you, mysterious waiter

Whom I've never seen before?

I'm not really a waiter.

I'm billy crystal ball, and that's not really pudding.

Both: ow!

It's really fairy world's favorite tv show,

This is your wish!

[Applause and cheering]

Ah! Oh, my gosh! This is so unexpected.

I'm just as surprised as you are,

Even though I'm not.

Hi, timmy! Hi, wanda!

What?!

This has to be some sort of diabolical plot.

Timmy, ordinarily I'd agree with you...

Both: ow!

But the slight concussion

Is making me less suspicious.

Has that hat always been orange?

Billy: welcome to the show where we honor a special guest

By reliving the highlights of their lives.

Cosmo, do you recognize this voice?

I love my little cosmo dearly,

And ever since he was born,

I've been terrified of losing him.

I remember when cosmo got his first wand.

Dad!

Come on, cosmo. Fly to daddy.

Hmm? Yay!

Give mommy the wand, cosmo.

Give mommy the wand! Yay!

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

Mama cosma, voice-over: cosmo had many interests,

Whether it was art...

I'm gonna make a daisy--

An exploding daisy!

Mama cosma, voice-over: he also loved sports.

Pull!

[Roars]

It's snowball!

All: aah!

Who's that idiot with the green hair?

It was after that you were sentenced--

I mean sent to a special school for special fairy children

Like you!

Cosmo, do you recognize this rage?

Jorgen: cosmo, you bumbling idiot!

That could be anybody.

It is me, jorgen von strangle,

Toughest fairy in the universe.

Wait. It's on the tip of my tongue.

Billy: we brought jorgen here

To tell us about your fun-filled days

At the fairy academy.

Ah, yes,

I remember the pain like it was yesterday.

I was a -star fairy commander

When cosmo voluntarily joined us

At the fairy academy.

No! I don't want to go!

Mommy!

Welcome to the fairy academy.

Present wands--

And by present wands

I mean don't do anything

To embarrass me in front of the brass.

Cosmo: snowball!

You, clean toilets

Forever!

But cosmo improved over time, right?

Wrong!

Jorgen: no matter where cosmo was taken for training,

It ended in disaster...

Whether it was the shining utopia

That was pompeii...

I know how to make it warmer.

The sparkling utopia that was atlantis...

I know how to make it cleaner.

Or the high-tech gleaming utopia

That was once xanadu...

I call it pittsburgh!

Those poor people.

We can never rebuild their lives.

I lost every one of my stars that day,

And it is all your fault

I will grind your bones into dust.

Aargh!

Audience: ooh!

Seriously, who was that guy?

Wow! That cosmo is a total idiot.

He's a danger to himself

And everyone around him.

I can't wait to vote

So we can take his wand away

And make him move back home with his mama.

What?!

You mean the audience gets to vote

On whether cosmo gets to stay a godparent or not?

I don't remember that being part of the show.

Oh, the ratings were going down,

So they added that during season .

I knew it! I knew there was a reason

Mama cosma was being so nice to us.

It's another plot to get cosmo away from you and me!

Whatever gave you that completely correct idea?

Over my dead body!

Oh, you figured out

The rest of the plan?

Cosmo, do you recognize this voice?

Cosmo,

Your mother is trying to separate us again.

Um, denise?

This whole thing is a plot

To get you all to think cosmo's a bad fairy

And get him to lose his job

And move back home with his mother.

Brigitte?

But I have one special clip

That will show what a wonderful husband, fairy, and friend

Cosmo can be.

Jorgen!

Both: aah!

We're doomed!

Who can save us?

Me, cosmo,

The greatest fairy ever!

Wanda: stop the clip!

See? Cosmo actually saved us

From a horrible cliched death.

All: that is impressive.

Let him keep his job.

Roll the rest of the clip.

I'll just set you down nice and safe

On these shiny metal tracks,

And to keep you warm, here's a rope coat.

Both: aah!

Mama cosma: stop the clip.

See? He's terrible.

Send him home.

Roll the rest of the clip!

Both: ahh!

Whew!

Roll the rest of the clip!

That's a relief!

Aah!

Both: aah!

Roll the rest of the clip!

See? You were never in any danger.

See?

Roll the rest of the clip!

I don't understand

Why this one section of track

Is separate from the rest of the tracks.

That's because it's on quicksand!

Both: aah!

Wow, that was quick.

Ok, I think we've seen enough.

Audience, it's up to you.

Does cosmo keep his job?

Or do we rip his wings off

And send him home to his mama?

Stop!

This isn't fair.

You can't take cosmo away from me

Without seeingmyclips.

Timmy: wanda, I wish I had some clips--

Clips that show what a great job

Cosmo does as my fairy godparent.

You wanted a big glass of cider?

I thought you said a hungry spider.

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

[Audience laughs]

Lawn mower?

I thought you said flame thrower.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

I thought you said plastic surgery.

Ha ha ha!

I'm keeping them.

[Audience laughs]

You see? No matter how horrible

Things get for me--

Or me! Whatever!

I can always count on cosmo

To be there for me and cheer me up.

He's not just my fairy godparent.

I'm his godkid,

And I don't want to lose him

Any more than wanda does!

It's up to you, the fairy audience.

Does cosmo stay with timmy

Or go home with his mommy?

Oh, no.

They're going to vote him back to his mama.

We have to do something!

Hey, before you push that button,

Think about it.

Do you really want him back here in fairy world?

All: aah!

Billy: and in a landslide victory,

It looks like

Cosmo gets to stay with his fairy godchild!

[Audience cheering]

All: yay!

I can't believe

After all those heart-rending, tear-jerking moments,

You still voted to take cosmo away from me.

Oh, no.

After seeing how cosmo tortured wanda,

I actually voted to let him stay with you.

Then who was the one person

Who voted to send him home?

[Whistling]

What?! I didn't do it.

I'm just practicing my whistling.

Cosmo: hey!

I keep pressing the go home button,

But we're still here.

I wish we could just go home.

You've got it, timmy!

One fire-breathing -headed hydra coming up!

[Audience screaming]

We'll save this one for next year's clip package.