04x06 - Mr. Right!/Baby Face

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Yeah, right.

He sh**t. He scores.

Sweet!

My room's clean,

Which means I can goof off.

Giant nagging goldfish dead ahead, sir.

How many times have I told you?

I don't nag.

Nagging!

Fire one!

Aah!

Hey!

[Bird chirping]

[Knocking] timmy...

What was that noise?

It wasn't a torpedo?

Timmy turner, I sent you up here to clean your room.

Just wait until your father gets--

Home early?

Did I hear my name being used threateningly?

Oh, man, you're so beautiful when you're angry!

Oh, honey.

And you're beautiful when you're telling me I'm beautiful and angry.

I've completely forgotten my rage towards timmy.

Mmm, may I have this dance, my lady?

Wow, did you see that?

When dad got all mushy, mom forgot how angry she was.

And speaking of angry,

Which of you idiots fired a torpedo at me?

Oh, cosmo, you're so romantic.

I've completely forgotten my rage towards timmy

And...or...cosmo.

You have? I mean, cool!

Let's dance!

It worked!

Wanda got distracted from her rage by romance

Just like mom did.

This is the greatest discovery ever!

Nothing could make this moment horrible!

Dad: oh, timmy, guess what!

Son, your mom and I can't stop dancing.

I could boogie-oogie-oogie

Till I just can't do it no more.

So guess who's here to keep an eye on you while we boogie-oogie-oogie?

[Playing ominous chords]

Stop following me!

Both: 'bye, timmy!

Don't I have a choice in this?

You have two choices.

Clean every toilet in this house or...

Drink out of them!

But I'm not thirsty.

Or a dog.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, why am I the cleanser?

You're the abrasive one.

[Gurgling]

Oh, no, our relationship is in the toilet!

Aaah!

Wow, there's nothing

To distract me from my rage.

Ha ha ha ha...

That's it.

I wish vicky had a boyfriend.

But not just any boyfriend,

The perfect boyfriend for vicky,

So she'll be too distracted to be mean anymore!

[Doorbell rings]

Who are you, and what do you want?

Hi, I'm ricky.

I'm selling magazines door to door

So I can pay my way through medical school.

And I saw this sign that said,

"Cute girl wants hot, fresh magazines."

But these are the turner's magazines.

Hey, you stole these out of the turner's mailbox

And are trying to sell them to me to make a quick buck!

And I thought you were just a pretty face.

Hey, what's goin' on?

Both: go to bed!!!

Twerp! Twerp!

[Crash, cat screeches]

Both: where have you been all my life?

[Upbeat ominous music]

I think it's working

Can't you hear the funeral music?

I know it's working.

Yeah, but don't you think--

Nagging. Fire two!

Aaaahh...

♪ Love, love, love, vicky's in love, love, love ♪

♪ With a lobster pizza garland as love, she's in love ♪

♪ Love, love, yeah, they're in love, love, love ♪

♪ Whoo...

♪ Oh, love

♪ Love, love, love, love

♪ Love, love, love, love, icky vicky's in love ♪

♪ Love, love, love, yeah, they're in love ♪

Aaaahh...

So, ready for more dancing?

We've danced in every room in this house.

And we can't go out and dance

Unless vicky baby-sits.

Where could she be?

Out having a happy musical montage with her new boyfriend ricky.

Oh, I've got an idea!

Why don't they montage at our house?

We can pay them double!

Uh-oh.

Did someone say double?

Oo-hoo, sweet!

With two baby-sitters,

We can get down with our bad selves twice as long!

Can I get a witness?

♪ Love, love, love, vicky's in love, love, love ♪

♪ Like a stranglehold you can't get out of, she's in love ♪

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha...

♪ Love, love, love, yeah, they're in love, love, love ♪

♪ Ooooh, they're in love

Ha ha ha ha...

Man, that was one tough montage.

This is not what I wanted to happen.

I've doubled the pain.

But now you've got a promising career as a footstool.

I wish they would break up.

Timmy, you know the rules.

We can't break up true love.

And they're in love now.

I didn't want love. I wanted distracting romance.

Ah, where's a torpedo when you need one?

You don't even know if it is true love.

What if this is just fake teen love?

Then we can totally rip it apart.

But you're gonna have to prove it.

There's only one thing to do.

We've gotta prove it's not true love.

Which means it's time for...

A stakeout montage.

[Jazzy music]

Ha ha ha ha...

Cupcake face,

You do a lot of baby-sitting, right?

I sure do, sweetheart.

So, you must have a lot of extra money,

Right, nuzzle neck?

I sure do, love bucket.

So, if you were going to, oh, I don't know,

Pick consecutive numbers for your secret bank code,

What would they be?

Something simple like zero, zero, zero, zero,

Baby doll, puppy pie.

Well, puddin' arms,

I have to run to the bank.

But not just any bank.

Which bank do you go to?

Dimmsdale national.

Cool!

I'm just gonna borrow this stuff

To get into the bank with.

See ya!

See?

Ricky's not really in love with vicky, just her money.

There's no way this is true love;

I wish they were apart.

But vicky's still in love with him.

There's nothing we can do.

Then I have to break them up myself.

There's gotta be something else I can use

To break up vicky and ricky's relationship.

To the internet!

Hee hee hee... Ha ha ha...

I'm gonna find ricky a new girlfriend

Who's even richer than vicky.

After ricky's done with her, how hard's that gonna be?

Single red-headed teen male seeks rich mate with tons of money.

Now let's sit back and watch the flood

Of love-starved replies.

Computer: you've got nothing.

Ooh, so that's what a reply looks like.

Timmy, you have to make ricky sound attractive

To somebody other than vicky.

Try this...

Sensitive single, red-headed teen male seeks rich mate with tons of money

Who loves shopping, emotion, and cats as much as I do.

What? That's stupid. That'll never--

Computer: you've got tons of mail

Wow, look at all the rich girls!

You know, for ricky.

Hiya, handsome.

I've got teen beauty pageant millions,

So if you like money and lots of it,

Let's get married.

Hey, ricky!

You have a surprise for me, peach pie?

What is it?

It's something really special.

Timmy: hey, ricky!

I'm having trouble lifting my really heavy piggy bank!

I'll be right back, fudge face.

I'll be counting the moments.

Piggy bank, huh?

Check this out.

Aaah!

Teen beauty pageant millions, wow!

Suddenly, I'm in love all over again.

And by all over again, I mean for the first time.

Click on the "I do" button to marry me

And all my millions will be yours.

[Blows kiss]

Done and done.

Computer: you've got commitment.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I'm rich!

Hey, what about vicky?

Oh, yeah, that reminds me.

One kid in pain, two kids in pain,

Kids in pain, kids in pain,

Kids in pain, kids in pain,

Sugar pants, feel like another rousing game of hide my cash?

Yeah, with my new wife who is way richer than you.

I'm married now. So long, valerie.

It's vicky. Whatever.

[Car horn plays "here comes the bride"]

Hi, delores, I'm ricky, your new rich husband.

I'm ready for my money.

And I'm ready for my first married kiss.

Bring it on, candy lips.

Aah! You're not a teen beauty queen.

You're an old bag.

Well, at least you're rich.

Wrong again.

I spent all my money on prune juice and blood transfusions.

What? And...

Meet your new stepson.

Papa! Can I have my allowance now?

And a horsy ride on your knee?

Aah!

To the blood bank.

Ricky!

My one true love. Come back!

Ricky! Don't lose my number!

You don't have to call nobody else!

Send it off in a letter to yourself!

Yeah, hee hee...

Wow, you did it! You broke them up.

But the bad news is

Now there's nothing to distract vicky's rage.

Ah, well, it can't be that bad.

Vicky: get back here, twerp!

Don't just sit there like a footstool.

Run!

Wait a minute, I'm furious at timmy.

Stepson: papa!

Thanks for taking me to the planet of

Seemingly harmless flowers, cosmo.

Trixie's gonna love this thing for sure.

Seemingly harmless?

What?

It's got the word harmless in it.

There she is.

I love them...

I love them not...

I'm gonna make my move.

Act natural.

Ah!

Ugh!

Timmy, are you ok?

Would you feel better if I dated you?

Looks like his tree bark...

Is worse than his overbite.

Ha ha ha ha ha... Hee hee hee...

That is so funny.

I'd feel better if one of you funny guys dated me.

Ah ha ha! Ha ha!

They sure are funny.

Maybe I should date them.

Ha-ha ha-ha-ha!

I don't get it.

What do tad and chad have that I don't?

You mean besides trixie?

And lots of money? And chins?

Aah! Oh!

Hey, everybody, look at my hip new outfit.

It's made of tissue paper, sugar, and powdered milk!

Yaaaaa...

Aah! Augh!

Look, chad, it's niagara fools.

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Aah!

You guys are hilarious.

Date me again.

Hey, you're all wet.

What?

Not everybody can be as funny as tad and chad, you know.

No wonder she's dating them again.

This stinks!

I wish somebody around here could teach me about romance.

Hey, what about me?

Good question..

Hey, wanda, why'd you pick cosmo?

Can't be his charm or good looks or brains.

And while you two talk about that,

I'm gonna pour water all over this cat.

[Growling]

Yow! Aaaaah...

That's why I chose cosmo.

Because he's funny.

Of course.

Tad and chad made trixie laugh,

And she said she'd date them.

I wish I was the funniest person on earth.

Hee hee! Can I take your order?

Yeah. I'll have the funny fries,

The chuckle chips, and the ha-ha-hot sauce on the side.

How do you feel?

Like I've been schmutzed

In the schmehengy with a yehaedel?

[Rimshot]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha ha...

You thought that was funny?

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

It's working!

And speaking of working, how 'bout plumbers, huh?

They work.

Ha ha ha... Ah ha ha ha...

[Beeping]

Oh, my gosh, I'm late for school.

Ha ha! He's late! Oh ho! He's late!

Ha ha ha... Oh ho ho...

You've been great. Uh, tip your waitress.

Aah!

Good morning.

Ha ha ha... Ho ho ho ho...

Ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha...

Ha ha... Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha... Ha ha...

This is great.

I can't wait to try my new comedy powers out

On tad and chad.

What do you want, loser?

Nothing.

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha...

Oh, my gosh, look out, a cliff!

Ha ha ha... Hee hee ha ha...

Both: he said cliff!

Ha ha ha... Ha ha...

Aaah! Aaah!

Ha ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha ha...

Both: we're in garbage!

Ha ha ha, oh, timmy.

You're the funniest boy on earth.

I can hardly stand for laughing.

Hold me up.

Ahhh...

Trixie, I've been waiting to give this to you for days.

For me--ha ha!

Oh, my gosh--ha ha ha!

So, wanna hang out after school?

Ha ha ha ha ha...

Absolutely, just bring your funny with you.

I love funny men.

It's good to be the king.

Of comedy.

The best part is there's absolutely

No downside to this.

[Ding-dong]

Hi, trixie. I'm here for our big--

Not hilarious date.

Just me and you-- not laughing at me...

Date.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Date!

Ha ha ha ha...

Stop! I'm not trying to be funny.

Aaah!

Physical humor!

Oh, my gosh, you're k*lling me.

[Growling]

But--but--but--

He said but!

Times!

Ha ha ha! Hee hee hee hee...

[Roar]

[Caw caw caw]

[Roar]

[Squeaking]

Ha ha! How'd your day go, sport?

Awful. Nobody's taking me seriously.

Including trixie.

Ha ha ha haa... Ah ha ha...

Stop it, you guys!

I'm not trying to be funny anymore.

I only did this so trixie would talk to me,

And now she's laughing so hard, I can't talk to her.

Ah ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

Aw, relax, timmy.

She'll probably stop laughing when that alien flower

You gave her eats her heart out at midnight.

I thought you said it was harmless.

Seemingly harmless.

Unless you're a heart.

Don't you remember that pimple

I told you was seemingly unnoticeable?

Man: smile.

Oh, my gosh.

Guys, I can't let trixie get eaten by that plant.

I gotta warn her.

But she won't take me seriously.

Oh...

I wish I wasn't funny anymore.

Ah ha ha, yeah, right. Ha ha, yeah, right.

Oh ho, you're gonna make me bust a gut.

Ah ha!

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

I said I wish to not be funny!

Ho ho ho ho...

Oh, my ribs!

[cr*ck] oh!

Ah ha ha, not funny!

Oh, no, my gut!

I warned you...

Ah! My other guts!

Timmy, you're the funniest kid on earth.

Nobody can take you seriously.

That's right. I need to get off this planet.

I wish we were in fairy world.

Ah ha ha... Ha ha ha...

Darn it, they still think I'm kidding.

Ha ha ha.

Hey, it's too bad none of your fairy friends

Can enjoy my special gut-busting brand of comedy.

You're right. That is unfair.

Come on, I know where we can go.

Man: hi, everybody.

Welcome to uncle knuckle's chuckle bunker.

Give it up for the funniest kid on earth,

Timmy turner.

Uh...

Tell a joke...now!

I sure hope I can't... Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Nobody, because the girl I love is about to be eaten

By a plant because nobody takes me seriously!

Ah ha ha--hey!

That is not funny.

[Crickets chirping]

Excellent.

Because I'm not on earth, I stink.

I wish I wasn't the funniest person on earth anymore.

Anymore? When did you start?

Ha ha ha... Ha ha ha ha...

Hey, I am funny.

I should do this for a living.

Cosmo, now that we're not on earth,

I can tell timmy's serious.

One unfunnying coming up!

Hey, wanda, do you think I'm unfunny now?

[Gagging]

Yay! I stink!

It's : .

We have to get to trixie's house

Before the plant eats her heart.

[Doorbell rings]

Young man, what's the meaning of this?

Do you know it's one minute to midnight?

Mr. Trixie, sir, this may sound crazy,

But me and my arsenal of garden-based weapons

Need to get up to your daughter's bedroom in the next seconds.

Hmm...

Oh, you seem like a sensible, unfunny young man.

Go ahead.

[Snarling]

Aaaaaah!

Ahhh...

Don't worry, trixie, I'll--

Aaah!

Ugh!

Owww!

D'oh!

[Growl]

Yaaaaaah!

Yaaaaah!

Ugh...

[Gasp]

Aaaah... Aaah...

Timmy, you k*lled my seemingly harmless plant.

You are so not my boyfriend.

Sorry you lost your girlfriend.

Yeah, but the good news is...

I found my spleen.

That's a rib eye steak.

Oh...in that case, I'm sending it back.

I ordered my spleen medium rare.

And the plant didn't eat trixie...

Which means she'll live to not laugh at me another day.

Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.

A visit to the planet of almost-enough-atmosphere.

Wait, wait! Wait, wait!

Air...

Cosmo, you idiot.

Air? I don't get it.

He's just not funny anymore.

But I am!

I am a screaming riot!