04x12 - Who's Your Daddy?/Homewrecker

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Vicky: yeah, right.

[Straining]

Oof!

Hey, timmy,

What's with the rope?

Practicing my knot-tying

For the squirrelly scout father and son

Camping festival.

[Screams]

This year, dad and I are gonna

Win the golden acorn.

Wow! That's one big nut.

You know, I used to be a scout.

I was a fairy scout!

I remember it like it was yesterday.

[Horn honks]

[Screams]

[Crash]

Woman: you idiot!

And that's how I got my

"Almost helped an old lady cross the street" merit badge.

I hope timmy's a better scout than you were.

I don't have to be.

My dad was a flying squirrel.

That's the highest rank of squirrelly scout there is.

[Door opens]

Oh, son!

I can't tell you how much

I'm looking forward to the big scouting festival.

[Beeper music]

Which I won't be able to make

Because I have to work!

I don't even have time to change out of my uniform.

Bye!

[Crash]

Sorry about your car, dinkleberg!

I should have gone before I left!

What? I can't go alone!

I can't even tie a knot by myself.

Oh, what a mess!

Let me clean this up

With a double helix cradle hitch.

Thanks, mom!

Now all I have to do is find

A man who can replace dad on this trip.

Well, I'm off to find a man!

Look in the sporting goods department.

That's where I found your father.

Oh, man!

Where are all the dads?

Timmy, how can you replace your dad?

Dads don't just grow on trees, you know?

Actually, they land on them.

Look!

Hi, timmy!

I'm on my nut break!

Mmm!

I'm storing these for winter.

You're right.

Where am I gonna find

A super-cool replacement dad?

[Thump, thump]

Like these robot suits I built, a.j.?

You know it!

You're the best dad ever.

You can do anything.

Including win a camping contest.

I wish a.j.'S dad was my dad.

Wake up!

It's time to wake up!

Even though everyone knows

Time is relative.

Wake up!

Wake up! Wake up!

Huh?

I'm in a.j.'S house!

Neato! A sweater-vest.

It's a girl magnet.

Cool! I have my own clone!

I wish he had a sweater-vest.

Cool! Wow.

This also reminds me

Of when I was in the fairy scouts.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

This uniform's a little dull.

There! A sweater-vest.

Or is it a waistcoat?

Man: stop!

There are no sweater-vests in the fairy scouts!

But it's a girl magnet.

Ooh! Really?

That changes everything!

Hey, there, big boy!

You would think that

Without the sleeves

It would be less of a sweater,

But it is actually more!

I got my "more than a vest,

Less than a sweater" badge that day!

[Knocking]

Yoo-hoo, a.j.!

Yikes! It's a.j.'S dad!

Hidey-ho, smartest son in the world.

Cool! A.j.'S dad thinks I'm a.j.

How's my brilliant boy this morning?

Hi, smart dad of mine!

I'll bet a smart dad like you

Knows a ton about camping

And would love to help me win the golden acorn.

Absolutely.

In fact, I've written books on the subject.

Plus, I love big nuts!

So, we're gonna rock the father-son camp festival!

Let's get out there and get dirty!

Oh, wait!

Is your sweater-vest on too tight?

We're not going out there

Where it's dirty and icky

When we can use my virtual camper program.

It's all the fun of camping

Without the camping.

Or the fun!

Au contraire!

Right now, I'm roasting virtual marshmallows.

If I can get this virtual grill going.

[Buzzing]

Bees!

Too many bees!

[Screaming]

I guess his program had some bugs in it!

[Laughing]

I'll be quiet now.

Oh!

This isn't gonna work.

Get me out of this sweater-vest

And back to my house.

Oh, this silly grill!

I can't get it to light.

Oh, well!

There!

The perfect campfire!

Now, who wants roasted marshmallows?

Thanks, mom.

Gee, where can I find a dad

Who can light fires

And isn't afraid to get down and dirty?

Man: you like these kites, son?

Hi, timmy!

You bet!

You're the best filthy dad ever!

Chester's filthy dad!

He's perfect!

I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

I wish chester's dad was my dad!

Huh?

[Screams]

Chester?

Morning!

You ready to rough it, boy--

To hunt and trap our own food?

You bet, chester's dad!

I mean, dad.

Well, then let's go get some breakfast!

So, what you hungry for, boy?

Lemur, marmoset?

I'm feeling like some fried meerkat myself.

Is this legal?

I don't know, but it sure is easy.

Meerkat is a nutritious

And fat-free part of any balanced breakfast.

And don't forget,

Tomorrow we head on over to the dimmsdale aquarium

For what I like to call

An all you can catch if you don't get caught buffet.

Yee-haw!

Well, that reeked!

Chester's dad is out.

Apparently there's more to scouting

Than just being filthy.

A lesson I learned the hard way

When I was a fairy scout.

It seems like it was just yesterday.

Come down, kitty!

[Meow]

Oh, where's a fairy scout when you need one?

[Meow]

Here I am-- to the rescue!

Ah, got you!

Now, let me just clean you up,

Then gently lower you down

To your owner.

Incoming!

[Crash]

[Screaming]

Oh, great.

Now I gotta clean up the old lady.

And that's how I got my

"Maul an old lady with a cat" badge.

I'm running out of dads!

Well, maybe you should be thinking about

Using somebody other than a dad.

♪ I don't know but I've been told ♪

♪ My stepdad is good as gold ♪

That's right, a stepdad!

Sanjay's stepdad is a disciplined focused marine

Who's not afraid of anything.

I wish sanjay's dad was my dad!

My nuts!

You are in a restricted airspace!

You must land!

[Snoring]

[Reveille plays]

[Screaming]

: ?

Who gets up at : ?

I did once.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Come on, come on! Wake up!

It's : .

This says : , you idiot!

I was supposed to take my medicine

Hours ago!

[Gasps]

My medicine!

My...

Medicine!

You got her up hours late for her medicine?

Uh-huh!

At first, she was real mad.

Then she got real quiet.

Did you still get a merit badge?

No, but the doctor did.

[Laughing]

I'll be quiet now.

Man: son!

Permission to enter not needed!

Hi, dad!

I can't hear you!

Hi, dad, sir, dad!

Drop and give me !

One, two, , ,

, ...

, , ,

, .

Too easy!

More!

Give me another hundred!

Was that ,

Or ?

You lost count?!

I am not good at math!

Who do you think I am, soldier,

A.j.'S dad?

Start over. One, two, ...

What comes after ?

Start over!

That's it! I give up.

I'll never find a replacement

For my dad in time for the scouting festival.

Timmy, could you lend me a hand?

Oh, I'm trying to raise this tent

I wove out of grass clippings and cat hair,

But I need someone to hold

My hand-carved tent poles.

Mom!

Stay right there!

Careful, don't trip over my

Solar-powered water purification plant.

Uh, mom?

Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?

Well...

I was going to hang

My framed collection of cream-puff merit badges,

Why? Mom,

Will you be my dad

At the father-son squirrelly scout festival?

That's weird.

But sure!

And we can get there via my authentic

Pre-industrial style maplewood catapult.

Wee!

I want to thank you all,

And my attorney gloria bowhead

Who forced you to allow me to be here.

All: hooray?

And I learned a valuable lesson

That sometimes the best dad

Can be your mom.

[Cheering]

Well, another happy ending.

[Groaning]

Hey! I remember you!

It's seems like it was only yesterday...

It was yesterday!

: Means : , you idiot!

[Grunting]

Here comes the quiet part!

Mom, thank you so much.

I just wish dad was here to see this.

Oh, well, I'm sure he's busy

Doing something important.

Unidentified aircraft,

You're in a nut-free zone.

You must land!

Oh, nuts!

Vicky: have fun at the scottish festival,

Mr. And mrs. Mcmoneybags--

I mean, mcturner.

And you two have a fun non-house-wrecking night.

Me and my man-skirt are off!

All right, all right.

I'll put on some underwear.

[Shivering]

Holy haggis!

I begged him to stop!

He was too strong.

To your room, bad seed!

You're lucky my parents are nitwits.

But they won't fall for that again.

Vicky: have fun golfing!

And I'll try to control your bad seed this time.

Don't go!

She's just gonna mess up the house and blame me!

[Laughing]

What does he think we are, nitwits?

[Laughing]

Oh, my gosh!

We are nitwits.

We forgot to tell timmy we love him.

Both: timmy,

We love you!

[Gasping]

[Horn honking]

[Quacking]

[Gasps]

He's worse than a bad seed.

He's an entire evil plant.

But I didn't...

Oh, what's the point?

What are we going to do with him?

Funny you should mention that.

Introducing my new off-site

Bad seed babysitting service.

A -day a week babysitting service?

Oh, days a week!

That's almost all of them!

Yep, and if it works on you,

I can franchise it nationwide!

Look! I already have investors lined up.

Maybe it's the man-skirt

Making me emotional,

But I love it!

Here you go!

Go, man-skirts!

Cosmo: hey, your dad is right!

This man-skirt is comfortable.

Would you please put on some underwear!

Never! Freedom!

Man, I can't believe

I have to spend the whole day

At vicky's house tomorrow.

Yeah, that is a bad break.

It's not like while you were there

You could wreck her house,

Get her in trouble with her parents,

And give her a taste of her own medicine

Or anything!

Cosmo, what are you implying?

Oh, nothing!

I can't be implying anything.

I don't even know what imply means.

Or do i?

A taste of her own medicine.

I like it.

Time for dr. Turner to make a house call.

Uh, timmy,

Doctors don't make house calls anymore.

Or do they?

Do they?

I don't know.

[Thunder]

Yup!

This is vicky's house all right.

[Gulp]

[Bell rings]

[Growling]

Glad you made it, nasal strip.

[Sniffs]

[Growls]

Ooh!

Doidle remembers you!

[Screams]

Wow!

Cosmo and dad are right!

This is comfortable.

Get busy, missy!

My parents are out to dinner tonight,

And I promised that when they get home

This place will look % different.

[Slam]

Oh, it will.

Or will it?

[Snarling]

[Screams]

Wanda, help! Distract him!

Heel, doidle!

Here's a new timmy doll--

And this one talks!

My parents are nitwits.

Nitwits.

Time for operation totally destroy

Vicky's house and get her in trouble with her parents

When they get home from dinner.

Step one:

Kitchen tornado, please.

Step two:

Mud! And lots of it!

[Oinking]

Amazing spider powers, please!

Wow!

That's a clean toilet.

We should fix that.

Okely-dokely!

We don't have that kind of time!

Step : slime volcano, please!

Only one room left--

Vicky's room.

This isn't anything like I thought it would be.

Finally, I'm saved!

Hey, wait!

What are you doing?!

Now that makeup mess!

Perfume typhoon!

Poster-toaster!

[Laughing]

Over-stuffed animals.

And finally...

Frat-boy party!

[Yelling]

Toga!

Uh, sport,

When vicky sees this,

She's going to k*ll you.

Ha!

Not as long a I have you guys to protect me.

What could possibly go wrong?

Timmy! Did I hear your voice?!

[Gasps] tootie.

Quick, hide!

You're here? In my house?

Hmm. My timmy-tracker must be malfunctioning.

[Gasps]

You trashed vicky's room!

Wait! I can explain!

You've done what I've always dreamt of

And never had the courage to do.

You're my hero--

Even if you are in a dress.

[Giggling]

What's that under the bed?

Did you bring me a present?

[Gasps]

I'll save us, kitten.

Now we're perfectly safe.

Everyone loves cats.

[Snarling]

I'm low-fat and boy-licious!

[Screaming]

[Screeching]

Easy! Don't panic.

As long as doidle doesn't eat them,

And they still have their wands

Everything will be just fine.

[Gasps]

Timmy!

Toy wands!

How did you know I collect toy wands?

[Screams]

Hey!

The twerp's screaming,

And I'm not there to cause it!

What's going on up--

[Gasps]

My parents will be home any minute.

I'm so dead!

But timmy's gonna be dead first!

Vicky: twerp!

Give those back!

I need those!

If you want them,

Then you have to smooch them from me!

[Laughing]

When I get up there,

You are going down!

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Grunting]

[Barking]

Cosmo: not me! The pink one!

I gotta get those wands.

Tootie, don't you want to play

Fairy princess with me?

Only every day of my life!

[Laughing]

Tootie,

Give me the wants..

So we can play.

Are you gonna leave as soon as you get them?

Duh? Then good luck finding them!

Ha ha!

Of course.

Vicky: knock, knock!

It's vicky! We're doomed!

Don't worry.

Your parents will be here to pick you up

Any minute.

How do you know that?

I didn't tap your phones!

Here's vicky!

[Screaming]

[Barking]

Tootie, I'll never come over to play with you again

If we can't play--um--

Fairy princess hides in the enchanted closet!

[Growling]

You may have redecorated my parents' house...

[Shuddering]

Both: no!

But I'm coming to redecorate your face, twerp!

Cool!

I still have spider powers.

[Screaming]

Both: no!

[Ding dong]

Parents: billy, we're here!

That's your parents!

I can blame you for all this!

[Laughing]

[Ding dong]

Toga!

Nice man-skirt!

Whoo-hoo!

Both: still no!

These wands stink.

Let's use ours!

Where did you get those?

I found them minutes ago.

Or did i?

Awesome!

Timmy, quick, make a wish!

I wish this house was spotless!

Come in, everyone!

And see what timmy did!

[All gasping]

Timmy did this?

Wow. You cured timmy's bad seediness.

I guess we won't need your -

Off-site babysitting service after all.

Which means you won't be needing this.

What?

No!

My money!

My other money!

Come back!

Your bad seed phase my be over, son,

But you're still in trouble!

I am? Yes!

Only a nitwit would wear those shoes

With that dress!

Wow. That was close.

Yeah, but I have the feeling

We forgot something.

Or did we?

Did we?

Tootie: timmy!

I gotta go potty!

Oops! No, I don't!