05x08 - Remy Rides Again/Hassle in the Castle

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Yeah, right.

Timmy: ha ha! Here I come!

Tag! You're it!

Wanda: oh, yeah? Tag! You're it!

I'm it?!

Yay! I win!

Actually, no.

The guy who is it doesn't win.

Oh.

Well, it's still nice to be wanted.

What fish game do you want to play now?

Uh, how 'bout fish hide and seek?

There's no place to hide in the bowl.

Oh, we could play inside the castle.

There's plenty of roo--

Uh, nothing! No place to hide.

Nothing cool in there.

Hey, what's going on here?

Can't I go inside your house?

No. Come on!

I let you come into my house all the time.

Like when?

Name one time.

Oh, good point.

So, can I go into the castle?

Well, ok.

So, this is your castle, huh?

Yeah, sure--

As far as you know.

[All scream]

Cosmo: bogey!

Let's see...

You took me to peely puttsticks,

Windsor castle,

Frankenstein's castle,

Hearst castle,

And prince charming's castle.

He sure was charming.

Can I go to your castle now?!

No!

Ok.

If you guys won't invite me into your house,

I'll just wish myself in.

You can't. It's uh...

Uh, against the rules!

What?!

Let me see the rule book.

I would, but I don't have it with me.

Where is it?

Inside the castle.

Wanda: oh, well, bedtime!

Gotta go! Nighty-night. Love you!

Kiss, kiss.

This is so unfair!

Why won't cosmo and wanda

Let me inside their castle?!

[Wanda's voice] you can't wish yourself inside.

Whoa!

I never realized

What a great wanda impression I do.

So, how can I get inside that castle?

Let's see...

Mini-sub? No.

Universal castle map? No.

Skeleton key? Uh-uh.

Hey, my old shrink suit.

Perfect!

Here goes nothing.

Voice recognition password required.

Uh...

Uh...

[Wanda's voice] cosmo, you idiot!?

Password accepted.

I always knew my shrill, girly -year-old voice

Would come in handy!

Oh, my gosh!

This place is huge!

Look at all those doors!

I bet they didn't want me in here

Because it's totally dull and boring.

Eenie, meenie-- that one.

A giant tv room?!

An arcade?!

A timmy's favorite food room--

Complete with microwish oven?!

Cool!

I wish I had a plate of chocolate chip cookies!

I wonder why cosmo and wanda

Didn't want me in here.

This place is awesome!

[Sniffs]

Oh, juandissimo, you're...

You're doing the dance of a thousand chocolates?!

Cosmo: oh! Oh!

Must win race.

Phillip...nickel...

There's chocolate in the road?!

Look out, phillip!

Godkid hall of fame?

I gotta see this!

I'll bet it's all about me.

Artie aaronson, denzel crocker,

Billy gates, googie sarakaya,

Not me, not me, another not me.

Tina turner?

I am not in here?!

But I'm great!

I'm kind, I'm caring.

They are so dead.

Argh!

What did those kids do that I didn't do

To get into the godkid hall of fame?!

Why don't I just ask those kids?

Access code, please?

Uh...

[Wanda's voice] cosmo, you idiot.

You dunce.

I should have married the monkey.

Password accepted.

Now, if I can just find that hall of fame again.

Geronimo!

Eh! Wanda!

Did you hear that?

I'm asleep.

Phillip thinks she heard a noise downstairs.

Someone should go down there and look.

Good luck.

But phillip thinks it could be

Some sort of burglar.

Cosmo, we live in a magical castle

Underwater in a fishbowl in a -year-old's room.

But the golf ball found us!

And phillip thinks it could be

Some sort of magical nickel thief.

In that case,

I wish you a lot of luck.

Juandissimo,

Tell me more about nougat.

Fine!

But if it's the pizza guy,

I'm keeping it all for myself!

Be brave, phillip.

Be brave for the two of us.

Let's see...

Maybe it was through here.

[Roar]

Aagh!

Here it is!

I guess any one of them will do.

I wish these godkids remembered cosmo and wanda

And were out of their frames and here with me.

I am pierre.

I'm sammy.

And I'm maryann.

Hi, guys.

My name's timmy.

I'm cosmo and wanda's current godchild.

I was sort of wondering

If you could tell me what you did

To get put in the hall here?

I wished that all french people

Would be rude to americans,

You stupid pig-boy!

Whoa! How'd that get you in the hall of fame?

Sacrebleu!

You ignorant toad.

You are in the hall of infamy--

Which is the opposite of fame!

We are not the best godkids,

We are the worst!

Really?

Sure.

I'm here 'cause...

Uh, well, you ever notice how

Tornadoes always hit mobile homes?

I wished that.

I hate them metal houses!

Shh! Someone's coming.

Hello!

Phillip and I want to know

If any magical nickel thieves

Are hiding in here!

If so, please speak up!

Know what I'm in here for?

Sneaking into the castle

And stealing a magic wand.

Yikes.

I don't want to see you end up like me.

Here, give me the wand,

And then if we get caught,

You won't get in as much trouble.

Gee, thanks!

[Snickers]

Frenchy is right. You are a stupid pig-boy.

Now all I need is wanda's wand

And I can get revenge on those two

For deserting me!

You know what might work better, mon cheri?

What?

Voila!

Which is french for "ha ha!"

Silly girl, I fooled you.

Little girl, you are as slow-witted

As monsieur big-tooth.

I will be the one who takes a horrible,

Painful revenge on cosmo and wanda!

Hawh, hawh, hawh, hawh!

Which is french for "ha ha!"

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Whoa! Cool!

I guess since I wished them out of

The magical paintings,

I can put 'em back in.

[Both grunting]

[Screams]

Aha!

[Screams]

Oh, ha ha!

Oh, well, this is embarrassing--

Wearing the same dress--

Hey! Phillip!

What's he doing here?

Cosmo, we don't have much time!

I did a bad thing and--

I'll say!

Those grapes don't go with your eyes.

[Gasps]

Hey, maryann!

Long time no see!

Nice wand!

I have one just like it.

That is your wand.

And if she gets ahold of wanda's wand, too,

We won't be able to stop her.

Ok, but before we go,

Since we're dressed like this...

[Caribbean music plays]

Timmy: we've gotta do something

Before she gets to the lobby.

Huh?

What's that, phillip?

She went what way?

Lead us, girl!

We beat her here.

Quick, get the wand!

Cosmo!

Look ou--quack!

Timmy!

Quack, quack.

Nothing can stop me now.

Wanda: you've been very bad, maryann.

You two deserted me!

Oh, sweetie, we didn't desert you.

You abused our magic,

Took out archduke ferdinand,

And plunged the world into world w*r i.

Yeah, well, now I'm gonna take you out.

What do you say about that?

I say...

Cosmo, you dunderhead!

Alarm: password accepted.

[Both scream]

Timmy: I'm sorry for sneaking into your house, guys.

I was just so curious.

Well, you know what they say.

Curiosity k*lled the cat.

And archduke ferdinand.

Not to mention our dog

And of our pet turtles.

But not you, phillip!

You're safe!

So, I guess this means

I end up in the hall of infamy, too?

Oh, heavens, no!

In fact, that's why we didn't want you in here yet.

We didn't want you to see the castle

Until it was finished.

Until what was finished?

Tada!

The hall of timmy!

Shut the door!

Oh, I forgot to tell you

She's staying with us.

The hall of timmy!

Gaze upon it's splendor, phillip!

Wow!

The hall of timmy!

Each picture is another good time we had with you.

There sure are a lot of them.

, , !

Phillip's good with math.

I promise I'll never bother you

Inside your castle again.

Cosmo: oh! Phillip, run!

Run for your life!

[Timmys laughing]

Cosmo: phillip!

What are you having for lunch, timmy?

I didn't look yet,

But I wish it was a triple-decker

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[Wanda and cosmo scream]

What do you know!

The screaming lunchbox never disappoints.

[Chomp]

[Horn honks]

[Screaming]

Aw!

That's one sweet whip, yo!

Hey, chester,

The cool is not for you.

Last time I saw a limo that big

It belonged to that rich kid remy buxaplenty.

Yeah!

What's the dilly on him?

All disappearin' and stizzuff.

Stop that!

Well, I don't know what happened to him.

Jorgen: remy buxaplenty,

Because you have lost the magical duel

To timmy turner...

You lose your fairy godparent!

Oh, no!

But I know it wasn't my fault.

Hello, chester, a.j...

Timmy.

Yo, rem-dog!

What's the ?

Knock it off, uncoolio!

There's no way that he can remember

That I have fairy godparents, right?

Um, not unless he saw your flashback.

Guess where I've been.

On an uncharted desert island.

You don't say.

Yes.

Just me and my parents.

And now that I'm back,

There's something I want to say to you

In front of a lot of witnesses

So everyone can hear!

He's on to us. Run!

[Screams]

You, uh, want to say something to me?

Yes.

Timmy turner...

Both: uh-oh!

I must apologize for my ghastly behavior

Toward you previously.

Phew!

You are wiggitty, wiggitty whack, g!

I askednicely.

Aagh!

I want to make it up to you.

So, i, remy buxaplenty,

Have decided to be your new best friend.

So, what do you want to do first?

[Bell rings]

Time for class.

Huh? Ugh!

Walking is for poorer kids

Without rich best friends.

You rich?

Nope.

Let's walk.

You ridewith me.

[Horn honks]

Well, it looks like we have some alone time.

You want to talk about me and my needs?

Aagh! Timmy!

Come back!

Wanda: we need more special alone time

And snuggling.

There needs to be more snuggling.

Oh, timmy, where have you been?!

We were worried sick.

And wanda keeps trying to talk to me

About her and her needs

And I don't care about any of those.

What have you and remy been doing all this time?

After school, we hit the arcade.

And then we flew to hollywood

To see a movie.

After that, we drove go-karts

At the daytona speedway.

And then we had pizza flown in from italy.

Well, you know, we could

Do all those things for you.

Not in public.

That's why remy's so cool--

He has the magic of money!

Oh, let me guess:

You need snuggling and a new bowl.

Crocker: well, students,

Time for a joke!

Have you heard the one about timmy turner

Thinking + = ?

Ha ha ha!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

F!

Computerized voice: not so fast, denzel.

Crocker: the brilliant physicist stephen hawking--

My old college roomie?!

Come to lord another nobel prize over me, I suppose?

Actually, denzel,

I am here to prove that there are certain scenarios

Under which the use of pretransitive imaginative binomials

Might lead to the result described by timmy tuner--

+ Equaling .

Wow!

You hired a genius to prove me right?

Thanks!

No problem.

Friendship has its privileges.

Oh, drat, stephen, you're right!

Of course, moron.

That's wiggitty, wiggitty whack!

You gotta admit,

Having a friend who can wave his money around

Like a magic wand is pretty cool.

Where's timmy?

[Both grunt]

Nothing builds my appetite

More than seeing crocker humiliated.

Whatcha hungry for, remy?

I'm glad you asked.

I'd fancy a t-bone steak

And an ice cream sundae.

Hey, that sounds good.

Oh, huzzah!

Because that's exactly what my person chef henri

Is making for us!

I guess I won't be needing this!

[Wanda and cosmo scream]

[Both grunt]

Hey, timmy, did you hear the news?

No.

Your mom and dad are going out tonight

And leaving you with a babysitter!

So, I guess you'll really need us

To help you with vicky, huh?

No. Not really.

Remy took care of her.

I'm chet ubetcha at cape dimmesdale

Where science will finally learn the effect

Of hammers to the head in zero gravity

On evil babysitters

Thanks to a considerable donation

From an anonymous -year-old.

Well, then,

Who is babysitting you tonight?

Hello, timmy!

I'm your new sitter,

Suzy califragalistic.

Let's go bake some cookies

While I do your homework for you.

Hey, why so glum, honey pie?

Timmy's life has been going great

Since remy became his best friend.

Oh, that's what I'm worried about.

What if timmy's life becomes totally perfect?

He won't need us.

Aw, it'll never happen.

Hey, let's not talk about your needs.

Timmy, this is the greatest night...

Of my life.

And I get to--

Could you lean to your left?

Spend it with you.

That's it. My life is perfect.

Got a new best friend,

Got the girl of my dreams to go out with me,

Can my life get any better?

Ow!

Oh, sorry, timmy.

I'm not!

In some cultures,

A suitcase to the face

Is how you say good-bye.

Really? Yes. Good-bye.

[Screams]

Well, timmy, your life has gotten

So perfect that you don't need us anymore.

So, we're being reassigned.

Would yous guys hurry it up?!

The meter's running.

Your new godchild is waiting.

Good-bye! [Screams]

Yes!

My diabolical plan worked!

Remy?! Remy?!

Buxaplenty?

Yes!

And you're going to lose everything!

My revenge is complete!

Revenge? For what?

How 'bout stranding me on a desert island

For starters!

I did that to help you get closer to your parents.

Well, that worked for all of seconds until...

Oh, cool! A flashback!

Remy, narrating: on that deserted island,

Father discovered oil

And mumsy opened a seaside luxury resort.

Pretty soon they were busier and richer than ever before.

And this time, I didn't have my fairy--

Juandissimo-- to comfort me.

That's your own fault.

Hey, I was watching that!

And how do you even remember all this?

Jorgen von strangle wiped your memory.

On the island,

A handsome purple coconut

Conked me on my noggin,

And I remembered everything.

Then, I began to plot my revenge.

That's it! Flashback's over.

Cosmo, wanda,

I'm so sorry.

Not so fast!

Juandissimo! Juandissimo!

You've returned!you've returned!

Yes!

I am here to tell you

That I was the handsome purple coconut.

I hit you on the head so you would end up here

As part of my diabolical plan.

Cosmo: yay! Flashback!

Juandissimo, narrating: you see, after you lost me,

I handsomely and fabulously roamed fairy world

Living in shame for many months

Doing various odd jobs.

Then I cared how miserable you were

Without my muy, muy machoness.

My heart cried for you.

So, I decided to help you no matter what da rules say.

So, I gave you back your memory.

So, you can save cosmo and wanda, right?

Alas, I cannot.

Jorgen: not so fast!

All: jorgen von strangle!

Yes!

In fact, this was all part of my diabolical plot.

You see, juandissimo ended up working

As a cook in my favorite diner,

And he is the worst cook ever!

My many passionate tears

Would sometimes drop into the food.

So, I concocted this plan

So that he would go back to remy

And stop ruining all my meals!

So, do I lose my fairy godparents or not?

Of course not!

Yay! Yay! Yay!

I'll get you two in this cab someday!

Remy, you were very, very bad.

And I should punish you

By not giving you back your fairy godparent.

But I have a better punishment for you.

You can have him back...

But he has to cook all of your meals!

Ha ha! Think of the stomach pain!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Roars]

Finally, I can get good schnitzel again!

So, let me see if I have this right.

It was jorgen's plot

To get juandissimo to plot

To get remy to plot

To make me lose my fairies!

Not so fast!

Cosmo, don't tell me

This was all your plan!

I said "not so fast!"

I can't follow any of this!

Now, which one's remy again?

Good-bye!

[Screams]

Peace out!

Word to all your mothers.

Hawking, I checked the math!

+ Isn't .

It's !

!

Frederator!