06x07 - Cheese & Crockers/Land Before Timmy

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Timmy: mom, dad! I'm home from school!

But you're so early.

It was a half day today.

Today's half-day? Oh, yes!

A new holiday! We should celebrate!

It's not a holiday. It's just half--

Oh, I know! I must put half and half in my half cup of coffee.

And I have half a mind to invent something for half day!

I already have: I used half cheese and half chips

To invent nachos!

Hello! Nachos have already been invented!

But I've invented the recoilet.

It's half recliner, half toilet.

[Flushes]

It works! It's a half day miracle!

Yeah. I'm gonna go upstairs now.

Hey, you guys aren't going to believe this.

Mom and dad think it's--

Happy half day, timmy!

We overheard you downstairs.

So how do we celebrate? How? How? How?

Well, according to mom and dad,

You sort of invent half something.

Done. I call it the wando machine.

Just thrown in one naggy spouse,

Then yourself, and...

[Screaming]

Voila! I'm half idiot and half nag!

You should clean this room!

My elbows are chapped! Do I look fat?

And I'm half superior female and half-witted.

Oh, a frying pan!

Uh...oh...

[Thud]

Hey, maybe I should invent something

That can make me half-boy and have cool stuff, too!

Or you could play with all the other stuff

You wished up but haven't touched.

Like this rocket kit, drum set, pogo stick,

Skate board, lasagna, which has gone way bad,

This mobile for poofs,

And hank, the super home security guard rhino.

My horn of protection is always here for you, timmy!

Yeah, thanks, hank. Here.

Do you have any cheese?

I'm still here for you, timmy!

And I do so play with this stuff.

[Music playing]

[Snoring]

See? Now,

I wish I had my own half day transformation station.

Oh...

Cool!

Ah ha!

[Yelling]

Voila! I'm skate boy!

I wish I had a half pipe!

Ya-hoo!

Half day rocks!

Hmm. Half boy, half skateboard.

Clearly the work of fairy godparents!

And with turnaround enjoying his magic,

It's the perfect time to capture his fairies!

And my crocker hook will allow me to go in quietly

And undetected.

Ah!

[Screaming]

Perfect! Now to search for the fairies

With my magic detector!

Oops, had it set for cheese.

But yum, solidified animal mucus.

Don't care for the chips, though.

Watching the carbs.

[Beeping]

Yes!

This must be turner's fairy keeping device-like chamber.

I've got you now, fairies!

Ha ha!

[Yelling]

Poo. No fairies.

Double poo! I lost my cheese!

Intruder, fear the mighty horn of protection! Argh!

Triple poo! An angry, talking rhino!

Hey, have you seen my cheese?

That horny projection cuts deep.

Aah! Mice! Shoo! Get away!

Ah! What's this? Cheese from my wrists?

To the crocker cave!

Ha ha! Oof!

Maybe I'll take the bus.

It can't be. According to my dna scan,

I've become half man, half cheese.

Cheese web!

And I can mold myself into different cheesy forms.

Shape of a buff cheese puff.

Hmm. Dilemma time.

Do I use these new powers to fight for good

Or for my own nefarious purposes?

Heads for good, tails for my own nefarious purposes.

Huh.

Out of . Tails. Tails.

My own nefarious purposes!

Now to capture turner's fairies with cheese!

Maniacal laughter]

Eureka!

My helmet tastes fantastic!

[Yelling]

That transformation station rocks.

Rum-pa-pum-pum.

Ok, drum boy, back to normal

Before your parents barge in and catch us all.

[Yelling]

Relax. The door is locked.

Besides, hank is here.

Hank: the horn is ready.

See? Nobody's gonna barge in.

Except me, turner!

And I'm here to finally capture your fairies!

Ha! With that dorky cheese hat?

That and my cheese puff butterfly net. Yee!

Aah!

Timmy, help!

Yes, help, turner, help yourself to some cheese!

Aah!

I'll save you, timmy!

Is this cheddar? I love cheddar!

Ha! Let me just say I will mozzarella this moment forever.

And let me just say that was a horrible cheese pun,

And I'll never wish for a cheese-loving guard rhino again.

But I'll be the one doing the wishing from now on, turner,

With my magic blaster.

Aah! Magic blaster? Ha!

How silly.

[Screaming]

Now let's test this magic puppy out.

I wish I had thicker, healthier hair.

I'm gorgeous!

Now, what's next on my wish list?

Number , win the love of my high school crush.

I wish I was in a limo at mary lou bixbie's house.

Oh, no, I've got to save cosmo, wanda, and poof!

But I'm stuck in cheese jail.

Wait. Cheese jail?

Now, how do I stop crocker without magic?

You still have the magic cheese station!

Yes! The horn of protection is brilliant.

The horn loves cheese!

Cheesy crocker, let's see how you deal with...

Rocket boy!

Denzel, is that you? With hair?

And a huge diamond and a limousine?

It is, mary lou. I'm gorgeous.

And won't you, after all these years,

Finally go out with me?

Yes. Yes, I will.

Well, forget it! You're ugly and creepy and stop calling me!

Ah! [Crying]

Number , crush mary lou's heart with the exact words

She used top crush mine at the sock hop.

Yes!

No!

Stand down, crocker.

You're no match for rocket boy.

Timmy, you saved us!

String cheese arm, go!

And now you lost us again.

And now to number -- destroy timmy turner!

What's the matter, turner?

You look like you've seen a muenster.

Ha ha! Get it? Muenster.

It's a type of cheese.

Sounds like monster.

Help me out here.

Yeah, I get it.

It's just that I prefer my cheese melted.

Looks like your plan has some holes in it.

Give up, turner. I have your fairies.

I have the power.

And I go great with crackers.

You're right, crocker, you do have my fairies,

But not all of them.

What? You don't have any more--

I have more fairies at home.

How else could I get my rocket power?

More fairies? That means more power.

Last one to turner is a rotten villain.

Eh, I'll take the bus.

Ok, turner, think.

How do you destroy cheese besides eating it?

'Cause I'm not eating that dude.

Huh, moldy lasagna. Rotten villain.

That's it!

Come on, hank. Get in the t*nk.

I need your horn of justice...whatever.

I hope this think works in eighths as well as halves.

Ok, other fairies, I know you're in there.

Come out and meet your new cheese-powered master.

Meet the horn of protection!

Aah!

That horn of protection cuts deep.

Well, that was pretty gouda, turner,

But I'll brie destroying you now.

Pogo boy, go!

Drummer boy, cymbal smash, go!

Aah!

Aah!

Timmy just cut the cheese, and for the first time, it doesn't smell.

You've got spunk, turner,

I like that.

But say hello to my buddies colby and jack,

Also types of cheese that I have named my fists after and--

Oh, forget it. Destroy the boy!

I win! I've got a hold of you.

No, you lose, 'cause I've got a mold on you.

Moldy lasagna boy, go!

Aah! I'm molding!

Molding!

Getting weaker. Really weak.

Wow, I didn't know I could ever feel this week.

Weird.

No motivation. No!

Are you guys ok?

We're fine, sport. Just a little dizzy.

But we're fine.

Blech!

[Yelling]

But, timmy, when crocker comes out,

He'll be normal and know what's happened and see us!

Not exactly.

Turner, I know you have--

[Music playing]

[Yawn, thud]

[Snoring]

Timmy!

Timmy! Cheese! Oh!

It must have all been a cheesy dream.

But now to get up and make my dream come true.

Except for the part where turner defeats me.

The horn of protection never sleeps!

Talking rhino! Yah!

Yah! Yah!

He should have just taken the bus.

Mmm! That's gouda!

Wanda and cosmo: cock-a-doodle-doo!

[Snoring]

I like the night life. I gotta boogie.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Ah! Ben franklin discovered electricity!

Hey, what are you doing?

The electricity went out,

And your alarm clock isn't working.

So we thought we'd wake you up ourselves.

Yes. You could say we're your alarm clucks.

Ha ha ha!

The power's out?

But I have to finish my report on ben franklin for school.

I wish that the electricity was back on.

[Powering up]

"Ben franklin is considered the father of technology

"Because he discovered electricity

"And invented the stove and the disco ball.

The end." What?

I'm not going for an "a."

I'm just gonna take a shot here,

But did you skip your homework last night

So you and cosmo could have a disco dancing,

Mechanical bull riding party again?

Both: uh...no.

[Moo]

Relax, wanda.

My report on the dead guy who flew a kite in a storm like an idiot is done.

So let's celebrate!

Isn't technology great?

[Grinding, boom]

What gives?

What happened to that fat dance of a beat, yo?

Oh, no, technology ate my paper!

Ok, don't panic, turner.

Just get dad to drive you to school early

And print the report on the library computer.

Don't worry, son.

My satellite navigation system

Will get you to school quickly.

Uh, school's back there. You just passed it.

Shh! Don't give it any hints.

Computer: turn right into tree.

Isn't technology great?

And how!

Oh, no! School's about to start.

I'll just hand in my notes on old ben franky boy,

And hope for a "d."

Computer: fingerprint identification, please.

What? When was this installed?

Yesterday. Isn't technology great?

Fingerprint dirty. Access denied.

Initiate intruder prevention system.

[Beeping]

Aah!

Turner, nice entrance!

You'd get an "a" if I graded those,

But I don't!

Now hand over your report on ben franklin!

Uh, I don't have--

I was hoping you'd say that.

Time for the rejecting ejector seat!

Failure in the hole!

Aah!

Isn't technology great?

Aah!

Technology stinks.

Timmy, technology has given you

Lots of important things, like television

And the internet.

And the mechanical bull! Giddyup!

Aah!

Too much up, not enough giddy.

Well, I'm done with all the annoying modern stuff

That keeps letting me down.

I wish there was no more technology.

[Gulp]

Awesome!

I'm timmy turnstone.

Born in great technological times,

Free of all annoying technology, and underwear!

Oo-ba-da-ba-di!

Aah! Ha ha!

I hear ya, timmy.

This place rocks.

Ow! Rocks!

There's no computers to crash,

Cars to crash,

Or reject ejectors to make me crash.

It's so peaceful.

[Bird shrieks]

Man: aah!

Except for the loud screams of doomed cave people.

Hey, he's not wearing any underwear.

You can't stop progress, sport.

Technology will continue to advance

Because people will always invent new things

To help aid survival.

Eureka! I've invented school!

Aw, come on!

How does that help survival?

Hello. I'm mr. Rocker. Here's how school works.

You sit there, and I'll stand here

And yell at you!

Now, for today's lesson on ancient history.

Or as I like to call it, yesterday.

Hmm, nothing's happened yet, so there's nothing to teach.

[Cheering]

So I'll now invent the math quiz.

Ah! Ow!

Learning hurts.

[Roar]

Aah!

[Chomp]

Class dismissed... Forever!

[Cheering]

This is great.

No school means I can swing on vines

And swim in the river all day.

The no technology life is the good life.

[Splash]

It sure is.

And since indoor plumbing hasn't been invented yet,

All the world's your bathroom.

[Farts]

[Rumbling]

[Elephants trumpet]

I'm home. What's for dinner?

Good news, son. I'm not wearing any underwear,

And I've invented grocery shopping.

Uh, don't you mean hunting?

Ooh, that sounds even better.

Good news, honey, I've invented grocery hunting.

Careful with that spear, dear.

Don't worry. I know how to hold the sharp pointy part

Towards my body for safety.

Ow! Has anyone invented the spear remover?

Oh, don't worry, timmy.

Knowing your dad's complete inability to provide for us,

I've taken the liberty of inventing a specialty:

Rock soup.

Don't forget your napkin.

Ack! Ow!

"Meet us in the treehouse. Signed a.j."

Ow!

P.s.: I just invented instant messaging.

Babe and friend in loin cloth.

Ready to have some fun?

What's fun? No one's invented that yet.

Then what do we do all day?

[Roar]

What we do every day:

Try to stay alive. Aah!

Ok, sweetheart, night-night.

This rock bed is kind of cold.

Oh, then let me get you a rock to keep you warm.

Hurray! I've just invented the blanket!

Uh!

Did you sleep well, honey?

Like a log on a rock.

The bed might be a little hard on the back,

But this technology-free life--ew!

Rocks?

Rock soup again?

No. This is rock cereal.

Ow!

Instant messaging hurts.

No.

This is a new game I just invented

Called dodge rock.

Don't you mean dodge ball?

What's a ball?

Un! Ow!

Dude, you stink at dodge rock.

[Sniffing]

Actually, you just stink period.

Well, I haven't taken my bath yet.

Both: what's a bath?

[Farts]

Hmm. That whole "all the world's your bathroom" thing

Sounded cool.

Cannon ball!

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you admit this is a lame wish and we go home

Where there's technology like indoor plumbing.

No way. Give me one good reason,

Besides indoor plumbing, which is nice,

To go back to modern times.

[Rumbling and screaming]

How about volcanoes?

The volcanoes are erupting.

Hey, I've invented panicking.

If only someone had invented the fire department to save us.

I bet those so-called firemen would be very handsome.

[Siren]

Fire, fire, fire, fire.

Rock, rock, rock, rock.

Oh, I was right.

Ok, I give, technology can be good.

I wish we had it back.

Both: you got it!

Timmy: what's going on?

Why didn't the toilet river and burning sky disappear?

Oh, no! Our wands require . Wishowatts of power

To activate their wish capacitors.

And since this is prehistoric times,

There's no power!

[Screaming]

Who's brilliant idea was it

To build a town at the base of volcanoes anyway?

Come non.

We're gonna have to create technology

And power the wands ourselves.

The lava's almost here.

Good thing I had time to build this big hamster wheel.

All I have to do is run really fast

And generate enough energy to spark the wands.

Yah!

Aah!

[Crash]

Hey, timmy, you just invented the wheel.

Now we just need someone to invent doctors.

I'll just rubthe wires together to create a spark.

Then we'll use the fire to boil water

And the steam will then power a steam engine...

Which hasn't been invented yet.

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.

Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock.

Help, save us!

That lava sure takes a while.

Yes, you'd think volcanoes erupting at once

Would give it a little more speed.

Good thing the dreamy fire department

Is here to deal with it.

[Thunder]

That's lightning.

Firemen: fire, fire, fire, fire.

Wait, lighting, that's it!

Thanks to my report on ben franklin

I know that all we need to generate power to the wands is...

A kite.

Cosmo, how would you like to invent air travel?

This is a pretty turbulent flight, jimmy.

I think I'm about to invent air sickness.

Oh, no. Hurry, timmy!

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.

Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock.

I wish we had technology again

And everything was back to normal.

[Disco music playing]

So, from ben franklin and the simple kite

To disco dancing and bull riding,

Technology can benefit us so long as we don't let it overwhelm us.

The end.

Turner, I'm impressed.

Your report was actually informative and well researched.

Plus I can dance to it.

Shake booty!

Then I don't get the reject rejector chair?

No! You get the a-jector chair.

It's like passing with pain! Giddy-up.

Aah!

I'm on fire!

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.

Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock.

I hate dodge rock.