07x11 - The Boss of Me/He Poofs He Scores!

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

- [Snoring]

- Yieeee!

[All snoring]

- Awesome news, guys.

Today's "bring your kid to work day" at my dad's office.

- But, timmy, you don't have a kid.

- Anyway, I get to see my dad's totally cool job,

And better yet, I get to miss a day of school.

- That's great, sport.

Now, what does your dad do again?

- I'm not sure, but I'll let you know at the end of the day.

Time to dress for success.

I bet my dad can't wait to take me to work today.

Ugh! Huh?

- Hi, timmy.

Meet the kid I can't wait

To take to work today instead of you.

He's a rental.

- You rented a kid?

- Timmy, timmy, timmy,

Work is a very competitive environment.

I've got to put my best foot forward,

Not some smelly foot with embarrassingly large teeth.

- Ugh, dad, you've gotta take me.

I don't want to go to school.

I mean, I've always wanted to learn

About the amazing world of...whatever it is you do.

Agh!

[Phone rings]

- It's my manager.

He said your check bounced.

I'm outta here, moron.

- Good news, timmy.

You can come.

- Awesome!

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

- Welcome to pencil nexus, timmy.

- Wow.

- Our slogan is, "go, number two."

[Toilet flushing]

Pencils, that is.

Let's take a ride down the graphite river.

[Together] ♪ welcome all to pencil nexus

♪ It's our love of pencils that connects us ♪

♪ We also have a branch in texas ♪

- ♪ If you've got questions

[Together] ♪ you can text us

- Here at pencil nexus, our ultimate goal

Is to find a pencil that lasts forever.

- Hey this is kind of nice.

Aaaaagh-ah-ah-augggh.

I'll never be the same.

- Can you imagine it, timmy,

Creating a pencil that would never wear out?

Whoever did that would be a hero.

They'd have their picture on the wall of fame.

Ohh, look.

It's my boss, mr. Ed leadly.

I'm his favorite employee.

- Palmer, you're on thin ice.

- It's turner, sir, and this is my son, timmy.

- Nice to meet you, little girl.

Have a pencil pop.

And, as for you, tanenbaum, you'd better start performing.

Take a look at your productivity report.

- Eh, there's nothing in there.

- Bingo!

So step it up, or you're gone.

- Yes, sir.

Can I have a pencil pop too?

- No! - Deh!

Timmy, I've gotta think fast.

Mr. Ed leadly's going to fire me if I don't come up

With an earth-shattering pencil-based idea.

- Uh, what have you come up with so far?

- Well, there's my pogo pencil.

Agh!

Sadly, it's only good for making periods.

But I do have this: my invisible pencil.

Ah...i dropped it!

It's gone, just like my career.

[Sobbing hysterically]

Timmy, what am I going to do?

Pencils are my life.

If you need me, I'll be curled up

On the men's room floor

Crying like a little jobless baby

Who lost his invisible pencil.

[Women screaming]

- [Sobbing hysterically]

- Ha, you don't scare me, mr. Pencil sharpener.

Now that I'm a fairy again, I'm indestructible.

Agh! Ahhh!

- Hey, that gives me an idea.

I wish for a perfect, indestructible pencil

That would last forever.

[Trumpet fanfare]

[Ethereal choral music]

Now all I have to do is give my dad the credit

For inventing this, and he'll get to keep his job.

- Timmy, I heard a choir of angels.

Did something good happen?

- It sure did, dad.

While you were gone, I invented this:

A pencil that lasts forever.

- Oh, you did?

It'll wear down.

Whoo.

Eventually they all do.

I don't believe my eyes.

This pencil hasn't worn down at all.

It's indestructible.

I'm going to call it the everleady!

- Why don't you show it to your boss?

- Great idea.

Once he sees this perfect pencil,

He'll promote me to the head office in pencilvania.

- Uh, first you may want to put on some pants.

[Elevator bell dings]

- What is it, tacamodo?

- It's turner, sir... I mean, your majesty...

I mean, your bossiness.

I bring you...this.

[Ethereal choral music]

- It's a pencil that never wears down.

- I call it the everleady.

- Why, if you're right, pencil nexus would become

The most successful pencil company in history.

I have to see this to believe it.

It works.

How on earth did you come up with this?

- Well, actually, my son invented it

While I was weeping on the bathroom floor,

But I named it.

The naming part was mine.

- Turner, you're hired.

- I am?

But I have school tomorrow.

I mean, when do I start?

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

- This is chet ubetcha reporting.

Customers are lined up around the block

To get their hands on the greatest pencil phenomenon ever:

The everleady.

Auuugh!

And since everleadys last forever,

People only need one,

Which means there's no need to chop down trees to make pencils.

In related news,

A dense forest has quickly sprung up in dimmsdale.

In unrelated news, I'm being mauled by a raccoon.

Auuugh!

- Congratulations, turner.

Your picture's on the wall of fame.

[Tires squealing]

- Wait for me!

Ugh!

- Welcome to your new office, turner.

- Wow.

- As we say in the pencil business,

Heh, you're my number two.

[Toilet flushing]

- Can we call me something else?

- You're vice president.

You know what that means?

- I get to totally goof around all day

And use the company jet to go to the mall?

- No, that's my job.

Your job is to fire the slackers...

Starting with timberlake.

- But that's my dad, and his name is turner.

- Fine, turner, fire turner.

- Sport, you're not really going to fire your dad, are you?

You know how much he loves his job.

- You heard mr. Leadly.

I don't have a choice.

Dad, can you step into my office?

- Timmy, you can't toss your dad out on the streets.

They're crawling with bears.

[Bears growling]

[Elevator bell dings]

- You wanted to see me, son...

I mean, mr. Son?

- That's right, timberlake-- I mean, dad.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let you go.

- Eh, go where, to pencilvania?

Yes, a promotion!

- What? I didn't say...

- All my dreams are finally coming true.

- No, dad.

- That's right, honey, order the yacht.

- Dad, no, you're not getting a promotion.

You're being fired!

- Ohhhh, well, okay, I guess.

Heh-heh, don't worry, I'll be fine.

See you at home, dream-crusher--

I mean, timmy.

Heh-heh, hee-hee-hee.

[Sobbing hysterically]

I'm a little jobless baby.

I lost my invisible pencil.

- That was terrible.

I hope I never have to fire anyone again.

- Turner, you've gotta fire everyone.

Because of the everleady, people only need one pencil

For their whole lives, so sales have plummeted.

We're closing down production.

[All sobbing]

We're all little jobless babies.

[All sobbing]

All: we hate timmy.

- I've gotta fix this somehow.

I wish all the everleady pencils were destroyed.

- We can't destroy them, sport.

You wished for them to be indestructible...

- And awesome too.

Because they last forever,

You just wanna write and write and write...

Until it gives you great big muscles.

- Wait a minute.

What if it really did happen?

[Whispering]

- Eep!

Aaahhhhh!

- Hey.

All: yaaah!

- Turner, we've got trouble.

All the people who bought your stupid pencils

Are writing up lawsuits and death threats against me.

Ordinarily I'd ignore them,

But they're pounding down the doors

With their giant misshapen arms

And writing some very nasty things on the company walls.

In order to stave off a lawsuit, I've agreed to replace

Everyone's everleadys with regular old number two pencils,

So we've got to ramp up production and fast.

Hire everybody back,

Including your idiot father, tarentino.

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

[Knock at door]

- Mm?

- You wanted to see me, dad?

- Eh, that's right, turner.

Your horrible invention nearly cost mr. Ed leadly

His entire company,

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.

- Go where, pencilvania?

- Heh-heh, no, the unemployment line,

Because you are fired.

You...are... F-f-f-fired.

- That's right, honey, I'm sending him home right now.

Help yourself to a pencil pop on the way out.

- Thanks, dad.

Oh, by the way, I found your invisible pencil.

- Yippee!

This pencil's my ticket to the wall of fame.

- Thanks, guys.

My dad got his job back, and everything's normal again.

- Ah, I dropped it again.

Curse you, invisible pencil!

- Well, almost everything.

- Pencils!

[Whistle blowing]

- Thanks for helping me practice, guys.

I'm totally ready for soccer season.

Agh!

- [Giggling]

- Agh!

- Sorry, sport.

Lately, poof just loves playing hide-and-seek.

- And I just love playing soccer.

Check out my corner kick.

The good news is, I k*lled a spider.

The bad news is, it sprayed me in the eye

With some kind of poison.

- Cosmo, I love you,

But you have got to be the dumbest man in the world.

- Oh, timmy, where's your room?

I'm lost in the hall again.

- I stand corrected.

- I have exciting news.

I'm coaching your soccer team.

- Awesome!

That means I'll actually get to play more.

- And I get a chance to b*at dinkleberg.

Every year, his team, the dinkle ducks,

Wins the championship.

Just look at him gloating in his trophy room.

Arrggh.

-, Uh, dad, he's sleeping in a hammock.

- Mm, that's what he wants you to think.

He's crafty.

Your dinkle ducks are dinkle dead!

So what's your team's manly name, son?

- The dimmsdale victims.

[Upbeat music]

- All right, boys, our first game

Is against the lecterville cannibals.

All: arrgh!

- I know we should have practiced more,

But I like to sleep late on saturdays.

Anyhoo, we've got seven games to play

Before we crush the dinkle ducks in the championships.

Now, let's shout out the victims' battle cry.

All: not in the face!

- Victims, victims, fight, fight, fight;

I stalk timmy every night.

I love you, timmy!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

- Ugh!

[Bell dings]

- It's okay.

Everyone makes mistakes.

[Bell dings]

No problem, son.

Some people even make two mistakes.

[Bell dings]

I guess some people even make , , ......

Augh!

You're tearing out my soul!

[Sobbing hysterically]

- I totally blew it.

I wish...

- Poof poof.

- I could help my dad... - Poof poof...

- Win a soccer game.

- Aw, timmy, we'd like to help,

But that would be cheating, and that's against the rules.

- I'm sure your dad will give you a second chance.

[Suction cups popping]

- Dad, what are you doing on the ceiling?

- Well, I'm certainly not

Sneaking off to the game without you.

No second chances.

[Tires squealing]

- I'm sorry, sport.

Your dad's just gone a little cuckoo

'Cause he wants to b*at mr. Dinkleberg.

- [Giggles]

[Light elevator music]

- Where's poof?

- I bet he's playing hide-and-seek again.

- Poof, come out, come out, wherever you are.

- [Belches]

Why am I burping fairy dust?

- [Giggles]

[Giggles]

Poof-poof.

- Poof, what are you doing inside my head?

- [Giggling]

- Wow.

Now that I'm poof-powered, I'm like a pro.

Poof, can you help me catch the team bus?

- [Giggles]

- ♪ There was a kid who was not here ♪

♪ And timmy was his name-o

♪ T-i-m-m-y and timmy was his name-o ♪

Oh, no, it's timmy.

Activating cloaking device.

Ahh!

Curse you, cloaking device!

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh!

Gah-hah-hah, now I don't have a team.

- That's okay, dad.

I can play every position.

- In your dreams.

Oh, we'll have to forfeit the game.

[Horn honking]

- Good luck with the game, turner.

- On second thought, you can play.

[Crowd cheering]

[Upbeat jazzy music]

- [Giggling]

[Together] ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh!

[Bell dings]

- Timmy scored...for us!

- I could use some strength, poof.

[Bell dinging]

- We win!

Timmy, you were amazing.

[Phone beeping]

In your face, dinkleberg's answering machine.

- We looked everywhere and still haven't found poof.

Have you seen him?

- Me?

Uh, yeah.

I think he's behind that tree.

- Poof, come out.

I've got a delicious onion bagel.

- Tootie, I need a favor.

- Yes, timmy, I will marry you!

- No, not that.

I need you to ride away as fast as you can

With this soccer ball, and, oh, yeah,

Every now and then, yell "poof-poof"

In a really squeaky voice.

- You got it, timmy. Poof-poof.

I love you!

- Well, it looks like he's not coming out, wanda.

- Poof-poof.

- Guys, there goes poof.

That'll buy us some time, poof.

Now, let's go win our way to the championship.

- Arrggh.

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

All: augh!

- Ugh!

- Two more games to go.

- Poof-poof.

[Giggles]

[Cannon booms]

[Pins rattling]

[Bell dings]

[Cheers and applause]

- One more game to go.

- Poof-poof.

[Giggles]

- Ack!

[Loud expl*si*n]

[Bell dings]

- We made it.

We're going to the championship.

[Fireworks exploding]

[Cheers and applause]

- This isn't poof.

I smell a rat.

- You sure it's not the onion bagel?

- Timmy is hiding something, and I bet it's poof.

[Trumpet fanfare]

[Cheers and applause]

- Okay, victims, this is the big one,

So the plan is simple: give timmy the ball.

Timmy, it's up to you.

Go out there and make me proud.

- You can count on me.

- Poof-poof.

- Timmy, we know you used tootie

To send us on a wild goose chase.

Now, what's going on, and where's poof?

- More importantly,

Who's tootie, and where's the wild goose?

- Okay, I'll be totally honest.

I have no idea. - Poof-poof.

[Giggling]

- All right, the truth is, I accidentally swallowed poof,

And his magic made me great at soccer.

I should've told you,

But I wanted my dad to be proud of me for once.

- Oh, I feel for you, sport, but cheating is cheating.

Now, come out, poof.

- Uh-uh.

- Cosmo, we're going into timmy's brain.

- What?

Timmy's brain doesn't exist.

[Ethereal choral music]

- Ooooh.

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

- Ack! Ugh!

- Argh!

[Bell dings]

- That's okay.

I'm sure it's all part of timmy's plan.

Argh!

- [Laughs hysterically]

[Sobbing hysterically]

[Belches]

- Geh... Probably still his plan...

His plan to tear out my soul!

[Together] huh?

[Bell dings]

- Timmy, your complete and total breakdown on the field

Makes me think I've been putting too much pressure on you.

I guess you can't handle stress as well as I can.

There's only ten seconds left in the game.

Maybe you should sit out.

- Sweetie, don't ever hide from mommy and daddy like that again.

- It's my fault, wanda.

I should have told you where poof was.

I just wanted to be good at soccer.

- You are good, timmy,

Good at scoring goals for the other team.

- Wait, that totally gives me an idea.

Dad, you gotta give me another chance.

- Eh, I don't know, timmy.

I'm down to one eyebrow.

- Please?

- Well, okay, son.

After all, winning isn't everything.

What's important is that you have a little fun.

Just try not to weep and dance like a gassy ballerina again.

Geh!

You're going toward the wrong goal.

- Trust me, dad. I know what I'm doing.

[Dramatic music]

♪

- Heh-heh.

[Bell dings]

Heh-heh!

Heh-heh, heeeh!

[Cheers and applause]

You did it, timmy!

I've never been less hairy and more proud of you.

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

[Cheers and applause]

- Hide-and-seek.

- Oh, not again.

Where is he this time?

- When this season began, I had a dream,

A dream to defeat a monster named dinkleberg.

- Poof-poof.

- Quick, into timmy's dad's brain.

- [Sobbing hysterically]

[Laughing hysterically]

[Howling]

- Poof-poof.

- [Belches]

Ah, I'm a gassy ballerina.

[Laughing hysterically]

[Sobbing hysterically]

[Kids laughing]