09x08 - Finding Emo/Dust Busters

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Up-tempo lounge music]

♪

- [Sighs]

Hey, guys! Guess what?

I'm totally head over heels in love.

- I was head over heels once,

But that's because I walked

Into some weird trap in the jungle.

- Aw. So who's the lucky girl?

- Her name is missy. She's beautiful.

At least I think she's beautiful.

I sit behind her,

So I mostly see the back of her head.

- Have ya talked to her?

- Of course I talk to her.

I said-- [babbles gibberish]

I may have been a little nervous.

- I was nervous once, but that's because

I walked into some weird trap in the jungle.

- Oh, timmy!

Did I just hear you tell your fish

That you're in love?

- Yeah, dad. So do you have any advice?

- Well, if you wanna get a girl,

Quit talking to your fish.

More importantly, what are you doing in dinkelberg's room?

- Uh, this is my room, dad.

- Oh, them I'm gonna need that b*mb back.

- Ah!

[Groans nervously] [loud expl*si*n]

[Groans]

[Moans]

- Timmy, if you wanna win missy over,

Do what I did with wanda:

Serenade her with a beautiful song.

If you sing it long enough,

She'll marry you just to shut you up.

- It was a horrible song.

- Guys, look how beautiful she is.

- How'd you get so many pictures of her?

- It's her cell phone. She dropped it at school.

And when I called after her to give it back,

All I could say was-- [babbles gibberish]

- The song wasn't that bad.

- It wasn't even about me.

You wrote a song about a tractor.

[Alarm sounds] - oh, no.

It's the pretty girl alarm I installed last week.

[Chirping]

- Oh, no. It's missy.

She must be here for her phone.

I gotta say something other than...

[Babbles gibberish] this time.

- Just take a deep breath and be yourself, timmy.

- Don't be ridiculous, wanda.

That's never gotten him anywhere.

- Okay. I can do this.

[Doorbell rings]

[Bird sings]

Take a deep breath and be myself.

[Inhales] ah!

[Moans]

[Spits and hacks]

- Hi. Timmy, right?

Sorry to bother you, but I think you have my phone?

- [Hacking]

- Are you okay?

- I... [Coughs]

Ate... [Coughs]

A... [Coughs]

Moth.

- That's different.

My after-school snack is usually carrot sticks.

But thanks, timmy. Bye.

- [Sighs]

- Well, on the bright side,

Moths are filled with protein

And sometimes baby moths.

Nevermind. [School bell rings]

- Yay! Ha ha!

Whee! [Groans]

- All right, guys, I'm gonna need

A new strategy with missy.

- Ooh, I think that coughing thing

Was really working for ya.

- I'm telling you: just be yourself.

- I don't have to be myself. I have fairies.

I can be exactly the kind of guy missy likes.

[Groans]

- [Laughs] wow, brandon.

I think it's cool you play so many sports.

- That's it! Missy likes athletes.

I wish I was a jock.

Not a jockey. A jock, like brandon.

- Well, excuse me.

I'm a songwriter, not a magical fairy.

[Clears throat] ♪ tractor

♪ You're like a hot nuclear reactor ♪

♪ And here's another factor ♪

♪ I'm attracted to you

Mm. - Thanks, guys.

Now, to impress missy.

Ah!

- Kid, you're late for practice.

Go tackle that kid who looks like a gorilla.

He may actually be part gorilla.

We haven't had him genetically-tested yet.

- [Hoots and growls]

[Sniffs]

[Growls]

- Ah! [Groans]

Please tell me missy didn't see that.

- Nope, she's too busy

Listening to that kid play the guitar.

- ♪ It's hard to get up in the morning ♪

♪ With all the global warming ♪

- Wow, dakota.

I think it's cool that you're so sensitive.

- Thanks.

You know, your belt is made from an animal.

- [Gasps] - that's it.

Missy likes sensitive guys.

I wish I were a sensitive guy

With no belt!

- We should probably rethink the belt thing.

- You sure look different, timmy.

How do you feel? - I feel sad...

[Cries]

And happy...

[Laughs]

And scared... [Screams]

And sad again. [Cries]

Hey, missy. I wrote you a song.

Ow! These strings hurt my sensitive fingers.

[Cries]

- Ooh, he's a basket case, wanda.

But he's our basket case.

[School bell rings]

- Well, the sensitive thing was a bust.

- Yeah, your sensitive songs are supposed to

Make other people cry.

My song made everybody cry.

- It was a horrible song.

[Cries]

- ♪ Tractor like a movie star actor ♪

♪ Here's another factor

♪ I'm attracted to you

Ah! - Hey, bobby.

Do you wanna be my lab partner?

- Science is a pointless, theoretical construct

In this empty black hole we call life.

- [Laughs] oh!

We're studying black holes in science.

- You don't get me at all.

- Hm, he's cute. - Hear that?

I wanna be like the black hole guy.

- Are you sure, timmy?

That guy seemed kind of-- what's the word?

- Pretentious, phony, and full of himself?

- Oh, I was just gonna go with stupid.

- Just grant my wish.

- So sport, are you gonna talk to missy?

- Who cares about missy?

- Well, you do, remember?

You love her.

- Love is an empty emotion

In this black hole we call life.

- Timmy, this is no time to recite my wedding vows.

- Timmy, I hate seeing you like this.

Why don't you wish for something to cheer you up?

- Oh, I'm not making anymore wishes.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna slip into a deep melancholy.

- Have fun! - I'm worried about timmy.

We gotta make him care again.

- Don't worry, wanda.

I have a-a-- uh, what's the word?

- An idea? - I was gonna say stupid again.

That's kind of my go-to word.

Oh, no, timmy.

Your dad is trapped under a car.

[Horn honks] - [groans]

- Do you want us to wish it away?

- Help! It's raining cars!

- Get out there, timmy. Help him.

- What for?

Aren't we all in a sense

Trapped under a car?

- Uh, well, that's not all.

We somehow tied ourselves to a b*mb

That's about to go off.

You gotta wish it away. - Wait.

What?

That's enough!

Timmy, you can't act like you don't care forever.

- Obviously.

Nothing is permanent.

- Except this tattoo I got

Of wanda's name on my back.

- That says "window."

- Timmy turner, we have a problem.

And I'm not talking about the typo on cosmo's back.

The weird part is I was once in love

With a girl named "window."

In fact, I even got a tattoo

Of her name on my back.

- That says "wallet."

I think the real problem is

There's an illiterate tattoo artist in fairy world.

- No, the problem is

Timmy hasn't ben making any wishes.

And as a result, you two

Are going to be reassigned to another fairy godkid.

[All gasp]

- Who cares? - You should.

Look at the fairy godkids

Poor cosmo and wanda could be reassigned to.

This one is a biter.

This one starts fires with his mind.

And this is the worst one of all.

- Uh, there's no one in this picture.

- Yes, there is.

That kid is so spooky,

He doesn't show up in photographs.

The only way you know he's around

Is the smell of sulfur and the gathering of flies.

- We don't want another godkid. We want timmy.

- If turner doesn't make another wish by sunset,

I will have to reassign you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got to go get my tattoo fixed.

How's it look now? - It says "waffle."

- Okay, it's time to start a daunting search

For a girl named "waffle."

- Have fun.

- Cosmo, we've gotta do something

Or we're gonna lose timmy.

- Don't worry, window. I have a plan.

- Hey, timmy?

Can you help me bury this bone

And this bag of evidence?

I know what you're thinking, but they're unrelated.

- What's the point?

- Oh, the point is I thought it'd be fun

For us to do something together.

Also, I don't want the fbi to find this.

I was never here.

[Bird chirping]

- Hey, timmy. - Whatever.

- [Laughs] you're so funny.

Do you mind if I kiss you?

- I don't care.

- Mm.

So how do you feel? - Sad, as always.

- Oh, cosmo, it didn't work.

And the sun is about to set.

I can't believe even making timmy think he kissed missy

Didn't snap him back to normal.

- What? I kissed cosmo?

- You sure did, sugar lips.

[Laughs] moo, moo, moo, moo, moo.

- [Spits and shouts]

I kissed cosmo. That's worse than eating a moth.

- Cosmo, your idiot plan worked.

You grossed timmy out and made him care again.

- All right, cosmo and wanda.

Say good-bye to timmy.

It's time to meet your new godkid,

The fire starter.

By the way, this is my new girlfriend waffle.

- My name's wallet. - It's waffle now!

- Please, timmy, make a wish.

- Well, that's easy.

I wish I were my old self.

Whoo, hoo! I care again.

- Oh, you really dodged another b*llet there, turner.

See you later. Let's go, waffle.

- By the way, I got your name tattooed on my arm.

- That says "janitor!"

- It's good to have you back to normal, timmy.

- Thanks, wanda, and you were right.

From now on, I'm just gonna be myself.

[Bird chirping]

- Hi, timmy. I like your tractor.

- Uh, thanks, missy.

- Wow, timmy.

That's the most normal thing you've ever said.

Wanna go to a movie with me?

- Sure.

- Does this mean you like me?

- I've always liked you. Do you like me?

- [Chuckles] [babbles gibberish]

Ahh! Yeah, I do.

- Everybody.

♪ Tractor

♪ Gotta call a chiropractor ♪

♪ He's gonna cr*ck my backtor ♪

♪ He's attractored to you ♪

Mm... - He's a basket case.

But he's my basket case.

[Up-tempo lounge music]

♪

[Alarm beeps]

[Beep]

- [Yawns]

[Shouts] [groans]

Ah!

Guys, what's going on? Why is everything floating?

- How do you know you're not sinking?

[Shouts] a mole monster.

We must've sunk into its underground lair.

We mean you no harm!

Timmy, get the mole poison.

- It's me, cosmo.

- Ee! It knows my name.

It was timmy's idea to poison you.

- Cosmo, this is my beauty mask.

- Well, it does mask beauty.

- Timmy, everything's floating

Because years of wish granting

Have caused a dangerous build-up

Of fairy dust in the house.

This whole place is contaminated.

- Whoa.

These readings are off the charts.

- But it makes no sense.

Timmy is conscientious and responsible

And empties the fairy dust containment unit

Every week like he's supposed to.

Right, timmy?

- The fairy who's-it-what-now?

- We've gotta get to the basement right away.

- What the heck is that thing?

- It's wanda in a mud mask.

We've been over this. Keep up.

- That's the fairy dust containment unit

You were supposed to be emptying once a week.

It gathers up all the excess fairy dust

From your wishes.

- Poof poof. - Poof's right.

Now that it's overflowing, it's highly unstable.

- No problemo.

I'll just wish all the fairy dust away and--

- No! Don't wish for anything.

One wave of our wands could cause

The whole house to blow.

- You hear her, timmy? No more magic.

With the exception of my morning basket of onion rings.

- Give me that.

We're not poofing anything up

Until we've taken care of the fairy dust problem.

This is an extremely dangerous situation.

- I'm scared, wanda,

Not just of the fairy dust problem

But of a life without onion rings.

I'm also kind of scared of old people.

They have skin like potatoes.

Speaking of which, I'm gonna poof up some potato skins.

- Guys, cut it out.

How do we get rid of the fairy dust?

- The only way is with the fairy dust begonerator.

- Really?

That's the best name you could come up with?

- Fairies aren't good with naming things.

For crying out loud, we named our kid "poof."

- It's a big, noisy job.

So we'll have to get your parents out of the house.

- We're in luck. Today's my parents' anniversary.

And they'll definitely have plans to go out.

- Oh, timmy!

Since it's our anniversary,

We are definitely not making plans to go out.

- You see, dear, every year on our anniversary,

We spend the night in the basement.

- It's like a foo foo fancy french restaurant,

Except down here, the snails aren't cooked.

Wait a minute. I know what that is.

- Dad, I can explain.

- It's my old leaf blower!

Ooh, this brings back memories.

I blew a lot of leaves and poisonous spiders

Into dinkelberg's yard with this baby.

- Wait! Dad, don't!

- Excelsior!

- [Shouts]

Oh, honey.

After all these years of marriage,

I still feel like I'm floating on air.

- Ah! Oh!

And I feel like I hit my head on a pipe.

- Oh, dear. We're in the laundry room.

- This isn't right.

The laundry room is where we spend thanksgiving.

- Okay, guys.

Let's decontaminate this place

Before mom and dad get back.

- Timmy turner,

This is the worst contamination of fairy dust

In the history of the earth.

And now that your parents have been exposed,

I must take them to the d.u.m.p.

- The dump? - Yes.

D-u-m-p.

It stands for "dust un-magic place."

- D-u-m-p, huh?

Fairies really aren't good at naming things.

- Tell me about it.

I named my teddy bear "stuffed cloth with face."

Now, where are your parents?

[Both shout]

- Ow. - Ow.

- This is the strangest anniversary we've ever had.

- I think it's just 'cause we're in the wrong room.

- Hello. I am jorgen von strangle.

I mean...dave.

Congratulations!

Your troublesome child got you

An all-expense paid trip to a luxury spa

For your anniversary.

- That sounds delightful, dave.

- Ee, are you sure it's our son, dave?

Because the only place timmy ever sends us to

Is family counseling.

- Yes, I am sure.

- So how do we get to this spa?

Is there a limousine parked outside?

- Um, not exactly.

Ooh. Look out the window.

A famous celebrity is doing

Something noteworthy and amusing.

- Ooh!

[Shouts]

- Good thing I brought the "knockerout-erator"

That also cooks eggs.

- I was so excited about coming to this spa,

That I must've blacked out.

- This doesn't look like any spa I've ever been to.

- I think it's lovely.

But then again, I spend my birthday

In the tool shed.

- Now, if you will just step into

The atomic fairy dust taker-offer--

Uh, I mean sauna, we can begin.

- Oh, I don't know, dave.

Saunas aren't really good for my skin.

- Oh, not to worry.

We remove your skin

And machine wash it while you wait.

- They think of everything.

- [Growls]

- Look alive, people!

We've gotta clean up every ounce of fairy dust down here

Before it infects everything in this house.

[Motor revs]

- Uh-oh. What was that?

- I think it was my stomach grumbling.

I've really gotta get some potato skins.

[Motors revving]

- I think things just got worse.

- Don't panic, timmy.

I saw a movie about basement stuff that comes to life.

All you need to do is assemble a team

Of superheroes and close the portal

To another dimension.

- Cosmo, that movie has nothing to do with this.

- Oh.

In that case, panic! [Shouts]

[All shout]

- Aah!

This is bad.

- I know.

We're trapped in timmy's baby encager.

Ooh, a sauna.

Let me just take my skin off.

- Cosmo, stop!

I gotta wish us outta here.

- But that evil vacuum cleaner has our wands.

And besides, one more wish

Will blow up the whole house.

- Trust me. I have a plan.

- Here are your freshly-cleaned skins.

They're a little blue because I washed them

With some new jeans.

- Oh, dear.

There seems to be a problem.

- There's no problem, honey. You're gorgeous.

- You put on the wrong skins, you ninnies.

- I've heard of stretch marks,

But this is ridiculous.

- Sparky, you gotta get those wands.

- Sorry, timmy. I'm a dog.

And to dogs, there's nothing scarier than a vacuum cleaner.

That and the lady great dane

That you left at the altar.

She wouldn't sign a prenup.

- I know it's scary, boy.

But if we don't get those wands, we're toast.

- Okay, timmy.

I'm gonna face my biggest fear.

I'm gonna show that vacuum cleaner who's boss.

[Groans]

[Shouts]

[Whimpers] [cries]

[Groans]

- [Coughs]

[Gasps] [coughs]

- [Groans]

Yay. I'm a winner.

Timmy, I got the wands.

By the way, if anybody wants french food,

There's, like, a ton of snails in there.

- Okay, guys.

I've got one more wish to make.

- Please let it be potato skins

Or an old guy with dipping sauce.

- I wish for some potato skins.

And oh, yeah, a b*mb shelter.

Both: a what?

- A boom boom blockerator.

- Why didn't you say so?

Yay! Potato skins.

What? No ranch dressing?

- Oh, here it comes. [Detector beeps]

- Jimmy, you got rid of all the scary stuff in the basement.

But what are you gonna do without a house?

- Easy, sparky.

I wish for a new house.

- From now on, timmy,

Empty the fairy dust containment unit

At least once a week.

Got it? - The fairy who's-it-what-now?

- Timmy. - I'm just kiddin', wanda.

I totally learned my lesson.

- Ah, I did too.

Never open a portal to another dimension

Unless you've already assembled a team of superheroes.

[Groans]

Also, I learned I'm totally allergic

To potato skins.

- Oh, timmy!

Thanks for the anniversary present.

That dave fellow runs a top-notch spa.

- It certainly was invigorating.

I've never been to a spa

Where they spray you with caustic chemicals

And blast you with a fire hose.

- Your parents are decontaminated.

The good news is they will no longer float.

The bad news is they will be radioactive

For the next six months.

You might want to start wearing

A lead apron around the house.

- Timmy, I'm a little worried.

About that fairy dust.

It got blown all over town.

- Relax, wanda.

There's nothing to worry about.

- Hello.

How would you like to go to a luxury spa?

- And miss a day teaching math to ungrateful brats?

I'm in! How do we get there?

Some kind of spa van? - Um, not exactly.

Oh, look!

A famous celebrity is doing something scandalous.

- Where?

[Shouts] oh, mother...

- Good thing I brought "the noggin conkerator

That also helps make a tasty pie crust."