03x13 - He Got Game Night

[bunniefuu]

- Chloe, come on down.
It's game night.

- [whooshing]

I'm tackling you first.

- It's not that kind of
game night, Chloe.

It's when we all get together
and have fun as a family.

- Yeah, Mom and Dad
go all out.

It's kinda ridiculous.
- [loud kissing sounds]

- Just like your
"kissing" ringtone.

- It sounds like your girlfriend
Allison is texting you.

- ♪ Max and Allison
sittin' in a tree ♪

♪ K-i... ♪

Well, you know what
goes on in that tree.

- Allison's not
my girlfriend.

We're just hangin' out.

And whoever changed
my ringtone, very funny.

Seriously,
that was kinda funny.

- Is she coming over so
we can all finally meet her?

- No way. She's just
coming over to pick up

a book to study for
our exam on Monday.

I don't need books
because I invented

a device to make me smarter.

- Clearly, you haven't
used it yet.

- [lights click off]

- ["Game Show" music]

- Live, from our beautiful home
in downtown Hiddenville,

it's Thunderman family
game night!

- ALL: [cheering,
applauding]

- HANK: [laughing]
Hey!

Welcome, everybody.
Thank you so much.

I, of course, am your
Dad, Hank,

and this is your
beautiful Mom, Barb!

- Thanks, Hank.

It's good to be back.

- Yay, Mommy and Daddy!

- Aw, she thinks
they're cool.

- The game our family will
be playing tonight is

"Who Arted?"
[laughing]

- That's right,
the winning team will draw,

charade, and sculpt
their way to victory.

- Just get to
the prize wheel!

- ALL: Prize wheel!
Prize wheel! Prize wheel!

- Did someone say
"prize wheel?!"

- ALL: Ooooh!

- Maybe it'll finally
land on "new car."

- I just don't want it to land
on "underwear shopping spree."

I don't wear them, people!

- Hold on, family.

Chloe doesn't have a teammate
for her first game night.

- HANK: That's right.

- And since she just "wuvs"
her big sister, Phoebe,

maybe they should
be teammates.

- Yay, Phoebe!
- PHOEBE: [laughs]

- Aw, she thinks you're cool.

- Max, you and I
are usually teammates.

Who are you gonna
play with?

- I guess I could settle for
Colosso, unless he's busy.

- ALL: [laughing]

- He has no life.

- Okay, who wants
to spin the wheel?

How about this
adorable contestant?

- [whooshing]

You've gotta spin it
to win it, baby!

- [wheel clicking]

- It better not land
on "new car," Hank.

We spent half our savings
on these darn outfits.

- It never does.

"New car" is on the wheel

just to keep them
excited about the game.

The chances of it landing
on it are one in a million.

- [wheel clicks]
- KIDS: New car!!

- Yay!
- How could this happen?

- BARB: [swats Hank]

- Yeah, we did it!

I'd give you a thumbs up,
too, if I had thumbs.

[evil laughter]

♪ A car is in my future
and it's new ♪

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Rigging that wheel was one of
our best ideas ever, Colosso.

Freakin' out Mom and Dad
is just icing on the cake.

- Yeah, look at 'em,
they're all like...

COLOSSO: "Hank, you said
this couldn't happen!"

COLOSSO: "I just don't know
what went wrong!"

- Check out Dad's face

when the wheel landed
on "new car."

- Oh, hey, you still
have the selfie we took

when you turned me
back into a human.

- Of course.
We make a great team.

And when we win game night,
that car will be ours.

- ♪

- COLOSSO: Ugh...

- ♪

- Cruisin' in that car with you
and Allison's gonna be epic.

- Allison, huh?

That'll be...

fun.

- ♪

- ALLISON: Ahhh!
- COLOSSO: Bye!

Ha!

- What are you up
to this time, Max?

First you convince me to partner
with a four-year-old

and then the wheel
lands on "new car"?

This whole thing
smells fishy.

- Oh, uh, that's me.
I'm covered in fish oil.

My fur has never
been silkier.

- I didn't do anything
to the wheel.

If you don't believe me,

go down to my lair
and check for evidence.

- [watch beeps]
- [magnet explodes]

- You know,
it doesn't matter.

Chloe and I are
gonna win that car

and go on the best
road trip ever.

Next stop, the library.
♪ Oh oh ♪

- Best road trip ever.

- [palm slap]

- My fantasy is right.

I should get Chloe
to the library

for a quick study sesh.

- Are you fantasizing
about studying?

- Are you about to get
hit with popcorn?

[powers zapping]

- COLOSSO: [laughing]

- How cool would it be
if we had our own new car?

- To the amusement
park, driver.

- And don't forget
the bubbles, Coco.

- ♪

- BOTH: Cool!

- We've gotta find
a way to win this game.

- I have an idea.

You figure out what to do
while I eat Dad's couch chips.

- Hey, Max has a device

to make himself smarter
for his exam.

We can use it to make us
smarter for game night.

- See? I told you
my idea would work.

- Well, the wheel looks
perfectly clean.

- Yeah, I guess Max
didn't rig it.

- We're not buying
anyone a car,

so I guess there's only
one thing to do.

- BOTH: [quietly]
Win game night.

- We're gonna be the smartest
people in the house, Billy.

After I go, you'll go.
Hit it.

- [electrical zapping]

- So, do you feel smarter?

- Totally.

Hey, you stole my bow!
[powers zapping]

Ow!

You can't do that!
[powers zapping]

Ow!

I'll show you.
- You heard her. Cut it out!

- [powers zapping]
Ow!

[powers zapping]
Ow!

- No way.
- NORA: [powers zapping]

Ow! Ow!

- Max, come get some pizza
before we start playing.

- Okay.

- What are you doing?

Don't eat with the enemy.
- Right.

Let's do a little warm-up

before we embarrass
those losers.

- I don't think
we need it, but, okay.

Guess this clue.
Yeah. Okay. Uh-huh.

Got a little bit of
this thing goin'.

Curl that back around.

It's a phrase.

- Man, we're gonna lose.

- [cell phone kissing sounds]

- Your stupid girlfriend's
here for her book.

- She's not my girlfriend.
[spritzing cologne]

- You're twirling
in a cologne cloud?

Who are you?

Ugh.

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

Thanks. How's
game night going?

- Oh, good. About to
play "Who Arted?"

- Oh, I love that game!

At summer camp, we played
"Who Arted?" all the time.

I would cut loose and rip
out a win every week.

- Really?

How would you like to be
my partner for game night?

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

- Guess someone's finally ready
for me to meet his family.

- Well, you gotta
meet 'em to b*at 'em.

What do you say?

- Yeah. Just give me
a second to call my mom.

- All right. See ya
in there, partner.

- Hi, Mom, I'm gonna
hang out at Max's.

He finally wants me
to meet his family.

I told you I was
his girlfriend.

[giggling]

- COLOSSO:
Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

- Sorry, Colosso, I've got
a partner who can draw

and doesn't smell like fish.

- You'll regret this!
[echoing]

- It's game time!

- Hey, what'd you
do to Colosso?

- Mind your own business.
Got a new partner.

- New partner?

- Ohhhh...this must be--

- Ignore her. She's trying
to psyche us out.

- Are you kidding me?

He can't just switch partners
at the last minute.

Can't you see
he's up to something?

- One less supervillain
playing for a car.

We'll allow it.

- Bedtime story!
- Yes!

- How could you allow this?

- HANK: Billy and Nora,
your turn.

Let's see what you got.

- A pen! A boy with a pen!

A boy with a pen
who's staring at me!

- I haven't even
started drawing yet.

- Submarine! Gumbo! Church!
Home for the holidays!

- Someone else go

so I don't have to
explain what's happening.

- All right, Chloe, we're up.

Thank you.

All right.

Okay.

- This is hard to watch,
but I can't look away.

- [buzzer rings]

- It's "heart" and "soul."

- HANK: Noooo!
- BARB: It's really not.

- Don't worry, Chloe.
We'll just win the next one.

- I'm bored. I'm gonna
go see my dollies.

- Whoa, wait, Chloe.

- Aw, tough break, Phoebe.
- Yeah.

- Yes! Now all we have to do
is b*at Max and Allison

and we get a new car.
- Hank.

- I mean, we don't have
to buy a new car.

Sorry, there's
a lot goin' on.

- Nice try, Max.

I'm gonna find
another partner.

You're not gettin'
rid of me that easy.

- It's not my fault
Chloe ditched you.

I'd never do that.

- Oh, please, you already
ditched Coloss--oh!

- ♪

- [doorbell ringing]
- Oh, I'll get it.

That's my new teammate.

- Hello, family!

Uncle Colosso's
here for game night.

- BARB: [gasping]

- COLOSSO & PHOEBE:
You're goin' down.

- Uncle Colosso,
what are you doing up here?

In here. Here. Just here.

- I'm here to help
my dear niece win this game.

- Hello, it's nice to meet
another member of Max's family.

Not that I've technically
met anyone else.

- I thought this was supposed
to be "family" game night.

Barbara, still
as ravishing as ever.

Mmmmm!
- Ew! Ew! Okay, no! No!

Phoebe, I'd like to talk to
you in the kitchen, please.

- Oh, really? What about?

- Phoebe. Kitchen. Now!

- You two look smaller
than I remember.

- Come on, Nora,
let's sneak downstairs

and fix your brain
while no one's looking.

- We're going to fix
my brain, so nobody look!

- So...this is weird.

- What are you
talking about?

- Him.

- [slurping water]

- Hey, you want a quick
tour of the house?

- Oh, I'd love one.

- Yeah, well,
start with the back.

- Oh?

- Well, I've seen
it already.

What are you doing?

- Looking for some
shredded newspaper.

That was a lot of water,

and I don't wanna ruin
Lady Barbara's couch.

- Of all people,
you teamed up with Phoebe?

I thought we were
best friends.

- We were till ya ditched me
for Little Miss Bright Eyes.

- Ah, her eyes are
amazing, aren't they?

- Ick.

The point is, Phoebe's
my new best friend now.

All right, I still
can't stand her,

but I am gonna help
her win that car,

so you can't get it!

Traitor!
- You're the traitor!

- You're the traitor!
- You teamed up with Phoebe!

- You threw me down the chute!

- All right, I think
I've finally got

all the Colosso cooties
off my hand.

- Honestly, Phoebe,
what were you thinking?

Using the Animalizer to
turn Colosso human?

- One word. I want a car.

- Two words.
I'm changin' him back.

And you're outta the game.

- Dad, that's not fair.

You can't just kick me out
of family game night.

- Um, Hank, come over here.

- There is no way
I'm lettin' you win!

- There's no way
I'm lettin' you win!

- You traitor.
- It takes one to know one!

- [argument continues]

- Colosso can stay.

- Dad, thank you!
Thank you.

- And when those two teams
take each other down,

we win the game!

- And then it's, hello, new car.
- BARB: [swats Hank]

- I knew it was wrong
the second I said it.

- Oh, here's the problem.

This thing was
set to "stupid."

Why would Max even
make that a setting?

- [powers zapping]

I like it when
my eyes fart fire.

- Okay, I see why he did it.

Right, all we have to do
is set this thing to "smart."

[pushing buttons]

- [electrical zapping]

- Now you're definitely smart
enough to win us that car.

- Je suis super
intelligent, Billy.

Je parle le franais.

Pourquoi je parle
le franais?

- You're speaking French.
Why are you speaking French?

- HANK: Kids, get up here
or you're out of the game!

- BARB: Hurry up. The next
category is French culture.

- HANK: [laughing]

- French culture.

You're good at that
now, right?

- Oui, oui.
- You can wee-wee later.

Focus on the question.

Are you good at
French culture?

- La tour Eiffel.

- Wrong! Eiffel Tower.

- Hank, she said
it in French.

She's showboating.

- Ten points for
Billy and Nora.

All right, Phoebe,

you and your very annoying
uncle are up next.

- MAX: This is awful.

We should have this game
in the bag by now.

- Okay, I think
maybe I should go.

I wanted to meet
your family,

but this is getting
really intense.

- Nah, who's intense?
I'm not intense.

I just wanna win!
[powers zapping]

- Why'd you do that?
- Forgive me.

It's like I'm not in
control of my own limbs.

- [buzzer rings]
- Oh, our turn.

Now, go sculpt me a masterpiece
so we can win this thing.

- I have had it with you.

I can't use my powers right
now, but I can do this.

[swats Max's head]
- Ow!

[swats Phoebe]
- Ow!

- You can't do that
to my partner!

[swats Max]
- Don't hit me, you traitor!

- COLOSSO: Eat the pillow,
you backstabber!

Ahhhhh!
[swats Billy & Nora]

- HANK: Hey!
Don't hit the little ones.

- Fine, I'll hit the big one.
[swats Hank]

- BARB: Those are my good
pillows, you stupid rabbit--

--breeder!
He's a rabbit breeder!

- ALL: [swatting, grunting]

- CHLOE: Stop it!

Be nice!

- What is going on?

- COLOSSO: Max started it.

- Yeah, he's a liar
and a cheater.

You don't deserve to
win that car, Max.

You brought in your girlfriend,
the game night wizard.

- I told you she's
not my girlfriend.

- I'm not?

I feel like such an idiot.

- Max, I think I speak for
everyone here when I say...

you don't need her!
Good riddance!

- [Animalizer zapping]

- [sighing] I've been
waiting to do that all night.

- Heh... well,
goodnight.

If you need me, I'll be down
in the lair hating you all.

Hmph!

- I don't know
what just happened.

- Let a girl
explain it to you.

She's your girlfriend!
- She is?

- Think about it, Max.

Every time you see her,

you're all worried
about how you smell.

- And you talk about
her all the time.

- You see her every day.

- And you get that look in your
eye when you think about her.

[laughs]
That's it.

The same look
your father gets

when he finds potato chips
in the furniture.

- Max, you went to all that
trouble to win the car.

What were you gonna
do with it?

- Ride around with Allison.

Oh, man, she is
my girlfriend.

- BARB:
[laughs]

- Allison?

Are you stealing
my sister's roller skates?

- No, my bike's got a flat.

I think something chewed
a hole in my tire.

- Take that, Bright Eyes.
[evil laughter]

- Look, Allison, I'm...

I'm so sorry.

- For using me for
a stupid car?

- For everything.

And the only reason
I wanted that stupid car

was so I could
go places with you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Look, the truth is...

I've never even had
a real girlfriend before.

But if I was going
to have one,

I'd want her to be you.

- ALL: Awwww...

- So... will you?

- Yes!
[laughing]

And next time, tell me I'm
your game night wizard.

I'll bring my A-game, fool.
- MAX: [laughs]

We're coming back in now!
- BARB: Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Mom, Dad, everyone,
meet my girlfriend, Allison.

- Hi. Again.

- Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Allison.

- [phone bings]
- Oh.

It's my mom.
I've gotta get home.

It was so nice
to finally meet you.

But you understand if I meet Max
on the porch from now on.

- Yeah.
- We get it.

- So, I'll see you tomorrow?

- Um...

- Right.

[kisses cheek]

- Save it for the tree!

- HANK: Bye, Allison.
- PHOEBE: See ya.

Well, I guess that means
game night's over.

Wait. Who won the car?

- Well, since you and Max
cheated, you two are out.

And that puts your Dad
and I in second place!

- No, Nora and I
came in second

after our comeback
in the last round.

- I guess that means you
have to buy them a car.

You know you're
my favorite sister, right?

- Merci, Phoebe.

[speaking French]

[gasps]

- Say what now?

- Wait, did you two mess with
the machine down in my lair?

- Je ne comprends pas.

- Sweet! I am totally
gonna pass my French exam.

But all you guys need to know
is that they cheated.

- That means we don't
have to buy a car!

Thank goodness each
one of you kids

is a terrible,
stinkin' cheater!

- HANK: [laughing]

Your mother and I have never
been more proud of you guys.

- [doorbell rings]

- BILLY: [zooming]

Sorry, Coco,
we're not getting the car.

- COCO: [screeching]
[chest thudding]

- ♪