03x25 - After the Fall

[bunniefuu]

Another set of flamingos?

I swear, these
things are multiplyin'.

You're not gonna believe this.

Look what I found
on the 50% off table

at Kemper's drug.

What is it, Uncle Vint?

A 2,000-piece jigsaw puzzle

of "The Monitor
And The Merrimack!"

Baby, you've been lookin'
for that puzzle for ages!

Yeah. It's the only one

in the "Victory at Sea"
collection I haven't worked.

Bubba, set up the card
table and the chairs.

- Wow! Two thousand pieces.
- Yeah!

Honey, I thought they told
you this had been discontinued.

They did. I'd given up all hope.

And then suddenly
there it was, and 50% off!

I tell you, it's
a gift from God.

Reverend Meechum could do
a whole sermon on this jigsaw.

Mama! Mama! Wait till you hear!

Mama, will you look at this?

"The Monitor And The Merrimack."

It's my miracle jigsaw.

Yeah? What's the miracle?
Does it put itself together?

No. That's the fun part.

Come in. Bubba's
setting up the card table.

No, not now. I'm cuttin' some
flowers to take to the hospital

when we visit Aunt Effie.

Oh, mama, not again.

Again? You've only been to see
her once in the past two weeks.

Well, Aunt Effie will understand
me not being there today

when she hears about me findin'

"The Monitor and The Merrimack."

Oh, yeah, I bet they'll
make it the lead story

on the evenin' news...

"Jerk gets jigsaw
film at 11:00."

Oh! Knock, knock, Thelma.

Ooh, don't your irises
look stunning this year?

Oh, thank you, Iola.

I'm takin' a bunch up
to Effie in the hospital.

They're her favorite.

Oh, how's Effie gettin' along?

Pretty good. Dr. Kelly
said we were real lucky.

It was just a mild concussion.

If I've told her once, I've
told her a thousand times

she is too old to be
reshingling the roof.

Yeah, just be thankful
the azaleas broke her fall.

Yeah, but she's still
not right. She's in a daze.

She's forgotten how to
do everything for herself.

Eat, dress, even talk.

I hope that rehabilitation
they're puttin' her through

starts to work.

With all this new,
high-tech therapy

I'm just sure she'll
spring right back.

We're talkin'
Raytown here, Iola.

The closest thing that
hospital has to high-tech

is the new coke machine.

Oh, look here,
Thelma, I made a batch

of my oatmeal raisin
cookies to bring over.

Oh, how sweet, Iola.

Effie just loves cookies

and she will be so
happy to see you.

No, Thelma. I made
these for the puzzle party.

I heard the good
news about Vint findin'

"The Monitor and The Merrimack."

Good lord, Vinton!
Who'd the hell you hire

to break the story on this
puzzle? Geraldo Rivera?

Heads up, everybody.
I brought cookies.

Great! Break 'em out.

No. No eatin' until we get
all the pieces turned over.

Miss Harper, get
a chair and help us!

There will be plenty of
time to work that puzzle

after we go and
visit aunt Effie.

Now, who's goin' with me?

I'd duck my head in shame,
too, you bunch of weasel worms!

Grandma, just because
we don't visit aunt Effie

every single day doesn't
mean we don't care.

Besides, I don't think Effie
even knows we're there.

She most certainly does, too!

Every time the
family pays a visit

she gets this sort
of pained expression.

Mama, we're all real
sorry about aunt Effie.

It's just that life does go on.

If you call turnin' over little
pieces of cardboard "livin"'

then you're in worse
shape than she is.

I am sorry, baby,

but this is the dullest
jigsaw we have ever worked.

It's almost entirely gray.

Yeah. What isn't
gray is mud-brown.

It is a dreary battle.

No wonder they never
made a movie of this.

Come on, now, if it was
easy it wouldn't be a challenge.

See, the way I see it

a jigsaw puzzle
is a lot like life.

At first it's confusing

but then, as the pieces
start fittin' together

you can tell it's all
part of a master plan.

Of course, in life you don't
have a box top to follow.

Well, just be glad
you weren't there!

Why? What happened, Miss Harper?

On my way up to Effie's room,
I stopped off at the gift shop,

and Io and behold,
there stood poor Effie

at the candy
counter in a daze...

Barefooted, the back of
her hospital gown wide open.

Oh, you don't mean it.

As God as my witness, if I
hadn't stopped by when I did

she'd still be mooning
those M and M's.

Nobody at the hospital knew
that she was just wanderin' around?

Not a single soul,

and boy, did I let them
doctors and nurses have it!

I said for 200 bucks she should
be getting more than a tan.

I said the only reason
she wasn't gettin' better

is because she wasn't
gettin' enough attention.

And I wasn't goin' to
stand for it another minute.

Good for you, Ms. Harper!

Way to go, grandma.

I bet that sort of thing
doesn't happen again.

It sure won't, 'cause I brought
Effie home. Right, Effie?

Why, good lord! I thought
she was right behind me.

Effie?! Effie! Come
on in here, sweetie.

Come on.

The whole family's
here to welcome you.

See? Isn't it fun
havin' Effie here?

Miss Harper, she
seems so helpless.

Nonsense! She's fit as a fiddle.

She just needs
a little retuning.

- Isn't that right, Effie?
- Oh!

Oh, mama, you
got to take her back.

I most certainly do not! I
made a deal with Doctor Kelly.

He said as long as I bring
her in every day for therapy

the rest of the time
she can stay here.

How long?

Two weeks. If she hasn't
shown improvement by then,

she's got to go back.

Thelma, is that wise? You don't
know a thing about medicine.

No, but I know
a lot about Effie.

What she needs is
to be around people

who will give her a little
encouragement and a lot of TLC.

Where is she gonna sleep?

I'm gonna make her bed
up right here on the sofa

so she can be in the
center of all the family fun.

Well, I got some work
in the garage to do.

I'm gonna go help
him. Wait up, baby!

I'm gonna go get
ready for practice.

Well, I guess I'll run on
home and get supper started.

Goodbye, Thelma.

Good luck with Effie.

Why, Iola, she isn't deaf!

She understands
everything you say.

Oh.

Goodbye, Effie.

There, see?

Well, I thought
they'd never leave.

Alright, sweetie pie...

it's time for you and
me to get to work.

Lesson number one...
the little silver dinner bell.

Now, if I'm in another
part of the house workin'

and you need me
for anything at all,

All you got to do is ring
this little silver dinner bell.

See? You understand?

Okay. You give it a try.

Well, Effie, you're gonna
have to do better than that.

Now, I'm gonna go
out into the kitchen

and put on a nice pot of that
peppermint tea that you love.

I got some of them La
Vienna cookies. Mm-mmm!

I'm gonna bring them
suckers out to you

just as soon as you ring that
bell, but not a minute before.

That is the way it's
gonna be around here.

I didn't bring you home to wait
on you, brought you to get well.

No bell, no tea.

Uh, I'm goin' to
practice now, aunt Effie.

I'll be back later.

Hey, what you got
there, a little bell?

Alright, Effie!

Way to go! You rang the bell!

Thatta girl! You see, there

when you're around family,
you can do the impossible.

There you go, sweetie.

Why, now, slow
down, one at a time.

"And with the spring

"the little birds
came back in time

"to say a last goodbye to Beth

"as father and mother
guided her tenderly

"through the valley
of the shadow

and gave her up to God."

Oh, I tell you

nobody can get to me
quite like Louisa May Alcott.

I swear that woman
could flat rip your heart out

and stomp on it.

Isn't that the truth?

Well, Effie, shame on you! You
haven't snapped a single bean.

Here I've finished
my whole bowl.

If you want fresh
beans for lunch

you'd better put
it in high gear, girl.

Miss Harper, take it easy.

I don't think Effie's up to
that kind of thing just yet.

sh**t! I've seen her
snap beans with one hand

and milk a cow with the other.

You like to earn your
keep, don't you, Effie?

There. You get to snappin', now.

You keep readin', missy,
it keeps her mind active.

Aunt Effie, if you asked me

your mind could use
somethin' a little more stimulatin'

than "little women."

Looky here!

"'Ah, you're mine at last,
you wild and luscious vixen, '

"purred the Prime Minister

"as he moved his hand slowly
over Daphne's quivering thigh.

'She felt a stirring
deep within her,

"a stirring no
other prime minister

"had ever aroused.

"His touch was
rough, yet gentle...

"Cool, yet burning hot...

"Foreign, yet familiar...

sh**t! We've been at
this thing for a solid week.

Why is it takin' so long?

Because thanks to Aunt
Effie, it's lights out at 8:00.

No, honey, it's not only that.

This thing is hard.

Personally, I prefer
a cutesier puzzle.

One with little kitties
and puppies and pandas.

Naomi, this is "The
Monitor and the Merrimack"

not Noah's Ark.

Well, Effie, that's one way of
finishin' up the dinner dishes.

I swear, Thelma is
so patient with her.

Yeah. If I broke it,
she'd still be yellin'.

Guess what, everybody?

Effie helped me dry
all the dishes tonight.

So we heard.

Has anybody seen a
little, tiny, rebel flag?

Ooh, look everybody...

Effie's starin' at the puzzle
like she knows what it is.

Effie was the best
jigsawer in the whole family.

She worked the "last
supper" in 20 minutes flat.

No kiddin'?

I think Effie would like
to sit down and help you.

No. Forget it, mama.

We're havin' a hard
enough time as it is.

Effie, you come on over.
I'll get you knittin' again.

What the hell's the
matter with you?

Mama, she doesn't
understand a thing we say.

Well, excuse me, I didn't
realize you'd become

a brain surgeon between
dinner and takin' out the trash!

You don't have to
be a doctor to see

that aunt Effie's porch
light has gone out.

Stop talkin' like that!

Inside, Effie is the same
person she always was.

She's never gonna get
better without our help.

Would it k*ll you to show
a bit of encouragement?

Alright, Effie, you
hold onto the needles

and I'll get the yarn started.

There, you see?

Iola treats Effie with
dignity and understanding.

As a result their relationship
has become closer than ever.

I think you all ought to
tear a leaf out of Iola's book

and start treatin' Effie
like a human bein'

instead of just a doorstop.

Isn't that right, Iola?

Would you all excuse me?
I have a run in my stocking.

That woman places
far too much importance

on her appearance.

Alrighty, Effie.

Time for breakfast.

A nice, hot bowl of oatmeal.

Oatmeal. Oatmeal.

Say that for me, Effie. Oatmeal.

Oatmeal.

That's alright, sweetie
pie. You'll get there.

Now... ♪♪ Like a ship
that goes to sea ♪♪

♪♪ my spoon will
sail away from me ♪♪

Come on, Effie. Come on.

Come on, Effie,
help me out here.

Effie!

Effie, we've only
got three more days

to show some improvement here.

Now, let's try this again.

Oatmeal. Oatmeal,
oatmeal, oatmeal, oat...

Effie...

Effie, do you remember
when my mother

was so sick in the hospital?

And you pulled me aside and said

"Thelma, take her home.

She's never gonna
get better in this place."

Remember? And the
doctors insisted that she stay

and Carl and the kids didn't
want the inconvenience.

I left mother in that hospital,
and she never come out.

I'm not gonna let that
happen to you, Effie. I'm not.

So you just open up your
mouth and eat this damn oatmeal.

Effie, why won't you
meet me halfway?

Well, no wonder. This is awful.

Miss Harper!

Oh, there you are.

Yeah. I just went and
got these plants for Effie.

I thought maybe
gardenin' would do the trick.

Yeah, yeah. Miss
Harper, did my boss

Mr. Carruthers call up
here yesterday and ask me...

to come in to work
early this mornin'.

Ohh, Naomi, I was so
busy gettin' Effie dressed

it slipped my mind. I'm sorry.

Oh, it's alright. It
wasn't very important

just time and a half is all.

Grandma! Grandma!

You forgot to iron
my green shirt.

It isn't St. Patrick's day.
Put on your blue one.

- The blue one's wrinkled, too.
- Blue looks better wrinkled.

Miss Harper, don't think
that I don't admire everything

you're doin' for Aunt
Effie but you're forgettin'

there are other members
of this family, too.

You're absolutely right, Naomi.

You could iron Bubba's
shirt. Thank you for the offer.

Don't mention it.

- Hey, Skeeter.
- Hi, baby.

I had to go to three stores
before I found these things.

So what? You found 'em.

I thought I can get
Effie to start talkin' again

by usin' flashcards,
like they do in school.

Vinton, you nitwit!

These are the
multiplication tables!

What difference does it make?

She can't talk,
maybe she can add.

Well, maybe you
can go jump in a lake!

Now, Miss Harper, all
Vinton meant was that

Effie's been here
almost two weeks

and she hasn't improved at all.

Yeah, her mind doesn't
seem to be able to grasp

the simplest thing.

Forty two? I thought it was 56.

Just what are you
two trying to tell me,

that I should give up?

Maybe you've done all you can.

Yeah. Face it, mama...
It's a lost cause.

If I gave up on lost causes,
the day you were born

I'd have told the doctor
"return to sender."

Eighty one. Boy, this
new math is tricky.

It's not gonna seem the
same around here without Effie.

I know, but Dr. Kelly did say

that if she wasn't
better in two weeks

she'd have to go back.

I don't care what
that Dr. Kelly says.

Effie is better off here at
home than she is in the hospital.

Ladies and gentlemen!

I would like your
undivided attention.

♪♪ Dum da-da bum-bum bum ♪♪

My nephew and I will now
put in the last four pieces

of "The Monitor
and the Merrimack."

Oh, baby, way to go!

What's the big deal, Vinton?

It's just a chopped-up picture
of two of the ugliest boats

I've ever seen.

Counting down,
piece number four.

Piece number three.

Piece number two.

And at long last,
piece number...

Bubba, give me the last piece.

I don't have it, uncle Vint.

It's not here.

It's got to be!
It's just got to be!

Alright, baby,
we're gonna find it.

What does it look like?

It's the part with the
name of the ship on it.

- It should say "Mack."
- I don't see it anywhere!

Calm down, Vinton.
You'll hardly even miss it.

Naomi, without that last piece

all I've got here is "The
Monitor and the Merri."

Alright, Vinton, you're just
gonna have to look for it later.

I promised to have Effie
back to the hospital by 5:00.

Ohh... Oh, alright.

Come on, sweetie
pie, time to go.

Bye, aunt Effie.
We're gonna miss you.

Keep up with your knittin'.

We wish you could stay,
but we're gonna come see you

every chance we get.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

No. I can't go
through with this.

Vinton, put her bag down.
Effie's not goin' anywhere.

You sit right down here.
I'm not takin' you back.

You can stay here
as long as you want.

No, she can't! Mama,
you can't do this.

Dr. Kelly will just
come and take her.

Dream on, Vinton.

That sawbone's hasn't
made a house call in years.

Don't you realize
what this means?

Yes. It means there's still
gonna be five for dinner.

You care to make it six, Iola?

I think that this requires
some serious thought.

What's to think about?

We're havin' meatloaf.
You eatin' or not?

You know what she means.

We have to give some thought
to what's best for aunt Effie.

I have, and that's
why she's stayin'.

What about what's best for us?

Ever since aunt Effie got here

this household has
been turned upside down.

It has not.

It has, too, Miss Harper.

Every one of us have suffered.

I've lost time at work.

I've had to wear
wrinkled clothes.

I had to get a tetanus sh*t.

Do any one of you morons

ever think of
anybody but yourself?

Have you even given
one thought for Effie?

Have you, Thelma?

Effie may require
the kind of expert help

that you cannot give her.

Let's stop here for a moment
and consider aunt Effie.

Effie!

- Effie!
- Effie!

Don't touch my puzzle!

All done, bozo!

Effie! You talked! She talked!

She talked!

Even better. She
found my missin' piece!

Way to go, aunt Effie!

We're so proud of you!

You really did it, kiddo!

Before long, you're gonna
be talkin' a blue streak.

Thank you, Thelma.

Oh, did you hear
that? I'll tell you what

this really calls
for a celebration.

What would you
like for dinner, kiddo?

Oatmeal.

I think she's still
just a little confused.

I'm sure she means meatloaf.