07x01 - Ohmygodohmygodohmygod

[bunniefuu]

[PHONE BUZZING]

[ANNE BREATHING HEAVILY]

[PHONE BUZZING]

♪

Hey.

KATE: Hey, um...

It's been a minute.

[EXHALES] Yeah.

KATE: Um...

Dude, this isn't working for me.

This isn't working for me, either.

I took up jogging, for f*ck's sakes.

KATE: Okay,
I don't want to be the thing that...

stops you from growing.

Then...

don't.

Do you think it's possible that we...

grow together?

Yeah. I do.

KATE: Like when two trees are
planted too close together,

their branches get all
like fused and m*nled,

and they go from like two
trees to like one weirdo tree?

Obviously we have to make room
for other trees in our lives,

- but nothing's getting between...
- [TIRES SQUEAL]

[TENSE, SURREAL MUSIC]

♪

[LOUD CRASH]

♪

Where is she? Where is she?

Anne? I'm looking for Anne Carlson!

Anne?

Come on, buddy, come on.

Anne?

LIONEL: Kate.

♪

♪

♪

♪

[MACHINE BEEPING]

[CHUCKLES]

Alright, uh,
go sit down on the chair, guys.

LIONEL: Hey, honey.

How you feeling?

Good.

Really good.

That's great.

KATE: Yeah, that's great.

[SIGHS HAPPILY]

♪

We're looking at some broken ribs,
a concussion;

there's some mild brain swelling.

Brain swelling?

We're keeping a close eye on it,
but it should go down.

LIONEL: Uh,
so you're saying that basically

- she could be just fine, eventually?
- KATE: Right.

We're still doing some scans,

but I'm optimistic she'll
be home within a week.

Good.

Good, a week. Good, good, good.

She, um... She is smiling a lot,

uh... for right after
a pretty bad accident.

That's a red flag, yeah?

Yeah, I mean, the smiling's...
the smiling's really weird.

- KATE: Very weird.
- LIONEL: Very weird.

Even a pre-accident Anne,
not a big smiler.

Not a smiler.

Weird is to be expected with
this type of head trauma.

She might exhibit surprising
behaviour in the next few weeks.

The key is to support her
through the recovery process,

without judgement.

- LIONEL: No judgement.
- KATE: Who's judging?

KATE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

DR. BAGE: If you'll excuse me.

[SURREAL MUSIC]

She's still smiling.

♪

♪

LIONEL: Okay, easy.
Just be careful, careful.

The floor's a little uneven here,

so make sure you lift your feet.

KATE: Alright! Home sweet home!

Good to finally be outta that hospital,

away from that disgusting food!

- ANNE: [SIGHS]
- LIONEL: Are you okay?

Do you need to maybe
lay on the couch, or...?

KATE: Okay, okay.

We're gonna have a little...

a little side bar.

She just needs time to heal, okay?

Alice, all you gotta worry
about is getting good grades.

And not doing dr*gs. Don't do dr*gs.

- ALICE: Okay...
- KATE: Good, here. Go to school.

Lionel, run a bath.

LIONEL: Yes, a hot bath could
do me a world of good right now.

I didn't mean for you, my friend,
but sure, you go first.

[SIGHS] He's gonna be fine.

He just cares so much.

- Do you want to talk, or...?
- ANNE: Um...

Uh, can I...
can I tell you something crazy?

Yes, of course, let's go!
Bring on the crazy.

I can't stop thinking
about the accident.

KATE: Oh, honey,
I don't think that's crazy at all.

ANNE: There was just something so...

exhilarating about it.

Just right before the hit, I, um...

- I had this sensation...
- KATE: Like, probably fear.

ANNE: Uh, yeah, like fear,
and also like, uh...

Like I was staring death
in the face, and...

It just felt amazing, you know?

I felt alive.

I... I see, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and I just really want
to feel that rush again.

Is that... is that crazy?

No. No.

KATE: Um... but like, how?

You don't want to go run into
traffic or something, right?

Anne?

LIONEL: [SHRIEKING] Die, die!

[SLAMMING SOUNDS]

It's okay. Uh, it was just a spider.

LIONEL: But I took care of it.
So nothing to worry about.

KATE: Our hero.

LIONEL: [UNDER HIS BREATH] Yeah.

That's quite a man you got there.

Anne? Anne...

Can you drive me somewhere?

♪

KATE: Anne...

What are you doing?

I want it. I'm gonna get it.

What? f*ck no.

Yeah, I've always been scared
of these little f*ckers.

You know, we're taught to run from fear.

Maybe we're doing it all wrong.

KATE: I dunno,
I feel like fear's what keeps you alive.

ANNE: Fear's exhilarating!

Maybe we should be chasing that feeling.

KATE: Uh, it really depends on the fear.

I mean... Oof.

Oh, boy. It's lookin' at me, Anne.

It is lookin' right at me.

See... see, this is what I mean.

You don't chase fear.

Fear chases you.

ANNE: Think they'll let me touch it?

KATE: What? No, don't!

f*ckin' no!

You feel that, though?

KATE: Feel what?

I think I'm gonna call her Tula.

- KATE: As in... tarantula?
- ANNE: Yeah.

KATE: A little cute name.
A little cute for you.

Just think this through, okay?

I feel like this is the
head trauma talking.

- I don't mean that in a bad way.
- No, opposite!

Complete opposite.

This is head health talking.

Anne, I don't know, man.

I feel like,
maybe just hit the pause button.

Oh, sh*t, I gotta go to work.

ANNE: Yeah, yeah. Go, go.

Um, excuse me?

Can we wrap this little bad boy up,
please?

KATE: Uh, what is your return policy?

♪

♪

KATE: Alright, look at us!

Is this our first board
meeting as partners?

RICHARD: I believe it is.
Feels good, huh?

ROSIE: Feels like freedom.

Now that I'm no one's assistant anymore.

Rosie, you haven't been
anyone's assistant for years.

Wait, does that mean
I can have an assistant?

I mean, yeah, if you're a partner,

you can have an assistant.

RICHARD: But no free lunches, then.

It's one or the other, sorry.

KATE: Alright, let's dive in.
What's first on the docket?

I'll start.

I have two words for ya:

Fronterra Pharmaceuticals.

ROSIE & MO: Oh!

I dunno, big pharma?

RICHARD: Okay, look, first of all,
it's not big pharma.

This is a boutique company,
so it's small pharma.

Medium pharma, tops.

Still... dicey, right?

One false move and people get hurt.

Pushing pills...

Is this really the direction
we want to take KFPR?

MO: Well, that depends.

Do we want to take KFPR
in a lucrative direction?

Mm, I think we do.

RICHARD: And the second thing,
of course,

is that Fronterra will
be here in minutes.

KATE: You scheduled a meeting
without running it by me first?

I thought we were partners.

MO: Isn't that why we don't
have to run it by you?

Definitely something we should discuss

at the next partner meeting.

Pharmaceuticals is a huge sector,

so at the very least, let's just...

hear them out.

ROSIE: Yeah.

KATE: [SIGHS]

Alright.

They're gonna be here
in minutes, let's go!

♪

♪

♪

COLIN: Can I just say, I love this whole

"bad bitch at work with baby"
thing you've got going on.

Big fan.

Is that... Is that my Amazon package?

Saw it sitting all alone at
the front desk and thought,

"what better act of service than
to bring it straight to you?"

What would I do without you?

JONATHAN: Hey!

First day back!

WALKER: Whoa! That is a tiny baby.

Beautiful, but... tiny.

Morning, fellas.

Meet Owen.

JONATHAN: Wow.

I can't believe you're back so soon.

SLOANE: Honestly,
I don't understand what the big deal is.

He's basically a purse.

- [ALL LAUGH]
- JONATHAN: That's funny.

Alright, let's dive in.

Get me up to speed
on the release of "Dread."

SLOANE: How is that?

JONATHAN: Right to it, okay, yeah.

So, the numbers are good.

Horror's hot.

In fact, we're talking about a sequel.

WALKER: Yeah, the author just
sent their preliminary thoughts.

Great stuff.

Okay, well, let's hear it.

She's thinking sleep-away camp.

Get this...

k*ller chef.

He targets campers in the dead
of night with a hand blender.

WALKER: Mm, it's gore, it's kitsch.

JONATHAN: The first kid is
found bludgeoned to... um...

Go on.

Right, yeah, um...

So, the first kid is found bludge...

I'm sorry.

I don't think I can talk
about this in front of a kid.

Oh, for God's sakes, he's not a kid!

He's a baby. And essentially an idiot.

He has no idea what we're saying.

Look. f*ck.

sh*t.

Blood.

See?

SLOANE: You try it.

JONATHAN: Okay.

Balls!

Well, you asked me to say something.

- SLOANE: Balls!
- JONATHAN: What?

- [BABY CRYING]
- SLOANE: [SIGHS]

Sorry, he's just hungry.

Okay, come on, then.

Come on, take the nipple.

There we go.

Okay, paint me the full picture.

Okay.

Uh, so, I have a budget call with...

In, uh, three, with uh...

I should... I should...

It's a great view.

WALKER: What... yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there it is.

Big budget call. Just kinda...

You don't have a budget call.

WALKER: You don't know.

Cowards.

♪

RICHARD: Okay, Ram,
what have you got for us?

A male birth control pill.

- KATE: Excuse me?
- RAM: It's called Seedless.

It's the first of its kind,

and I think it's gonna change the world.

KATE: Huh.

RICHARD: What'd I tell ya, Kate?

That is impressive.

RAM: Damn right.

KATE: Alright. You got my attention.

So, tell me about it.
Why did you develop Seedless?

Uh, it all started when
I became sexually active.

The pill disagreed with my girlfriend,

and when you've constantly
got a rubber on the rooster...

Do people still say that?

They never did.

- I do.
- RAM: Noted.

Uh, anyways, it was hard not to wonder

why there wasn't an
option available for men.

And, quite honestly,
haven't women shouldered

this load for long enough?

I mean,
shouldn't we level the playing field

in the spirit of contraceptive justice?

ROSIE: That's so hot.

I mean, such a good point.

It is a refreshing take.

So, why bring it to Kate Foster PR?

I'm sure you could take this anywhere.

I could, but, uh...

I'm just not interested
in another campaign

that's focused on safety,
efficacy, and adherence.

All of which are important, but...

- ROSIE: Dull?
- KATE: Rosie.

RAM: Yeah, she's right. Dull.

[CHUCKLES]

But this drug is unique.

It's special, and it deserves a campaign

that's equally as special.

I just thought that this
was the shop to do that.

So, what do you say?

Let us talk.

Thank you so much for coming in.

RAM: Ah, rejected at first!

That's nothing I'm not familiar with.

♪ I'm like a, I'm like a...
I'm like a... ♪

♪ I'm like a, I'm like a...
I'm like a... ♪

PAUL: So, how's your first day back?

SLOANE: I'm fine.

It's everyone else
around here who isn't.

PAUL: Hm.

They're tiptoeing around me

like I'm some kind of delicate flower.

And watching their language,
what the f*ck is that?

- PAUL: I dunno.
- God forbid one of them should

see me breastfeed in a meeting!

Do you mind?

Uh, nah, that was just mine.

I guess I should have got three orders.

Do you know how many calories
I burn breastfeeding?

Yeah, no, no. Go... go right ahead.

PAUL: You know, they probably just...

need a little time to adjust.

I mean, it's not like anybody
else is walking around here

with a baby.

They'll get used to it,
and until then, maybe,

I dunno, just breastfeed
between meetings

if it's making people uncomfortable.

But why is it on me to
make them feel comfortable?

Isn't that what women
have been doing for years?

Bending over backwards

to protect men's precious sensibilities?

I'm not gonna do it!

They don't need time.

They need a reality check!

Even if that means me shoving
my breast down their throat!

You're speaking figuratively, right?

Yeah.

ROSIE: For what it's worth,
I am into male birth control.

Professionally and personally!

The pill makes me sweaty and crazy.

Let men take the hit for a change!

KATE: Yeah, thanks, Rose,
but when I said, "let us talk,"

I meant after I had a chance to think.

- You know, I need a b*at.
- ROSIE: Oh, yeah. Okay, sure.

KATE: Jenny?

You really should adjust your seat.

You're gonna develop a
humpback sitting this high up.

Right. What are you doing in my office?

Well, I need a job.

And you owe me.

What? How do I owe you?

JENNY: Well, you're the one who said

I was worth so much more than MCP.

I took those words to heart
and dumped his rock-hard ass,

quit my job,
and signed up with that stupid

Goldie's pyramid scheme thing.

Oh my God, you too?

And now I'm not worth sh*t.

KATE: Okay, % of what you
said has nothing to do with me,

so up and at it, okay?

JENNY: Fine, but the headline is,
I need a job.

And, luckily for me,

I have a friend who
owns her own company.

And even luckily-er,

that friend has a colleague
who's in the market

- for an assistant.
- KATE: Rosie...

JENNY: Well, that sounds perfect.

I mean, as a starting position.

The thing is, you don't...

you know, you don't have
any experience in PR.

Are you kidding me?

I wore skinny jeans
before all of my friends.

That's impressive,
because a lot of women

weren't on board at first.

JENNY: Also, I convinced everyone

I was in a happy relationship
with my last boss

when we were miserable.

ROSIE: That's called spin!

JENNY: I am walking PR, Kate.

I have a great feeling about this!

KATE: I-I'm sorry, I just don't think...

JENNY: Look,
I'm trying to be someone more like...

I dunno...

you?

The way you work so
hard and care for people

has always inspired me.

- ROSIE: Aw!
- KATE: [EXHALES]

Thank you.

JENNY: But, frankly, you need me here.

KATE: Okay.

Rosie, please get her out of my office.

ROSIE: Um...

I will show you around.

Follow me!

JENNY: Wow!

ROSIE: Welcome to Kate Foster PR!

Oop!

Ugh... the bullpen?

Well, yeah.

I mean, I'm partner
and I'm also in the bullpen.

I assumed I'd have some privacy, y'know?

I just do my best work in my own space,
but... it's fine.

- ROSIE: Okay.
- JENNY: This'll be fine.

ROSIE: Right beside ya, so...

JENNY: [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

♪ Go, go! ♪

JONATHAN: Hey. You wanted to see us?

SLOANE: Yeah, please!

Come on in. Have a seat.

SLOANE: So, listen.

I want to hear about that
"Dread" sequel.

I want to hear every gory,
disgusting, explicit detail.

Okay. You're the boss, Sloane.

Did you, uh, do you wanna start, or...

Why don't you go ahead?

Actually, before either of you start...

JONATHAN: What are you...?

♪

♪

♪

♪

Go ahead.

WALKER: Uh, okay.

Uh, well...

SLOANE: No, no.

Look at me while you say it.

[TENSE MUSIC]

SLOANE: Look...

at...

me.

COLIN: You heard her.

Look at her.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[CALM MUSIC]

LIONEL: Anne?

Anne, you okay?

ANNE: Hm?

Yeah, okay.

Uh, hey...

The cops called, again.

And they just want to
know when you'd be able to

go down to the station
to give a statement.

Yeah, I'm not gonna make a statement.

What the hell are you talking about?

Alice, um, I'll take care of this.

You go upstairs.

It's okay, yeah.

What the hell are you talking about?

I know she tried to m*rder me, but...

I just don't want to waste
my time punishing her.

Besides, she helped me see
what living is all about.

Yeah...

Yeah.

Uh, I feel like I'm
seeing what brain swelling

is all about right now.

The authorities are handling it, okay?

She and I are good, y'know?

That's a very generous perspective.

When did you come up with this?

Right after I bought Tula.

Oh, sorry, Tula?

Mm-hm.

♪

Holy f*ck!

You'll be fine.

What have you done?!

NATHAN: Jenny Matthews?

KATE: I know. Rosie convinced me.

I think she's trying to
be a better person...

- Maybe?
- NATHAN: Hm.

Oh, and we met
with a pharmaceutical company.

Really?

I mean, wasn't that
on your list of industries

- that are beyond spin?
- KATE: Uh, yeah, usually.

But I dunno,
there's something different about them.

They're actually, uh...
they're launching the first

male birth control pill.

Could be huge.

You think so?

Yeah. Why, you don't?

I mean, male birth control?

- Is that even safe?
- KATE: Well, yeah.

It passed all the clinical trials.

It's fully approved.

- NATHAN: "Seedless"?
- KATE: Mm-hm.

"Side effects may include
bloating, fatigue,

mood changes, weight gain."

Yeah, men are not gonna go for this.

KATE:
You mean the same sh*t women have had to

"go for" for years?

Nathan,
isn't that a little misogynistic?

NATHAN: Oh, no, %.

But the market that you're targeting,
if anything,

they want to up their testosterone,
not obliterate it.

- I don't mean to be a d*ck.
- KATE: Right.

NATHAN: It's just that, look,
your company's had so many wins

over the last few years,

I'm worried you're setting
yourself up for a fail.

- NATHAN: Think about it.
- KATE: Mm.

[PHONE RINGING ON OTHER END]

- ROSIE: [ON PHONE] Hello?
- KATE: Yeah, Rosie, hey. Uh...

Schedule a follow-up with Ram.

We're gonna work with him,

and we're gonna make Seedless huge.

ROSIE: Kate, problem.

I thought I wasn't your assistant any...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[SIGHS]

Hey!

LIONEL: There is a spider in my home,

and it's a big one!

Yeah, I advised her against it,
but here we are.

Wait... you knew? You knew about this?

Did you also know that it
needs to eat living animals?

No kidding. Gross.

Our mutual hatred of spiders
is literally the thing

that brought us together!

I mean, if I was promised
one thing in this marriage,

it was a spider-free house, and...

I mean, it's not just the spiders,
or Anne.

Look, I have a daughter,
and she's scared,

and she wants to know what is happening

- with her mother, and...
- KATE: Lionel.

Take a deep breath, okay?

First of all, Alice is gonna be fine.

She is smart and resourceful.

She's gonna be great.

You just gotta give her
some space right now, okay?

And as for Anne,

she went through a
life-altering experience, okay?

I think she's just... processing.

Processing.

Right.

Look, the spider's a weird choice,
alright?

No argument here.

But isn't this exactly what
the doctor said to expect?

To support her without judgement?

Okay...

Yeah.

So... we don't need
to worry about her, right?

KATE: Anne? Pssht.

You don't have to worry about her.

♪

ANNE: [BREATHING SHAKILY] Oh my God...

Oh my God...

Oh my God.

Oh my God, oh my God...

Oh my God, oh my God...

Holy f*ck, holy f*ck!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

♪ Well your left hand's free ♪