01x02 - Episode #1.2

[bunniefuu]

Hello, everyone! My name is Donta!
Not to be mistaken with Dontagos!!

Don! Don! Don!!

Allllllright!

It's so nice and quiet in here...

Like a funeral hall!

Um... well, here at the Hayashiyatei rakugo
group, we have an odd pupil named Kotora.

He's actually a yakuza, but for some reason, he
decided to become an apprentice under Master Donbei.

What the hell do you know about my life?

He's a man with a somewhat
complicated past...

However, all men are relatively simple.

When they see an attractive woman,
they turn into beasts!

Their thinking capacity shrinks
down to the size of a T-rex brain.

If they see a hole, they
just want to stick it in!

Oh, have we met before?

Ryuji and Toraji finally
made-up, but not for long!

...and that would be the gist
of what happened up til now.

It seems as though I
have some time left over.

Well, here's a short story for you!

Mother, how are babies born?

Well, a stork brings them over.

Then how are storks born?

Well, former Giants player,
Kouno (stork) brings them over!

Don, don, don! A sacrifice bunt!!

Uh... Tiger and Drag...

"Manju Kowai"

Oh, he's so cute.
I just want to eat him up!

You must taste mighty fine!!

Oh, stop, father! It's scary because
you look like you really would eat him!!

Have you decided on a name yet?

Well, we have Donta, Donkichi, Dontsuku,
Donburi... what was your name again?

It's Udon, sir!

Now, isn't that silly!

Well, you can be Ten-don!
(tempura donburi)

Father's already planning to
make him into a storyteller!

You'll be the 3rd generation to
take over the family business.

...right Donta?

Donta?

Ryu-chan, Father wants to
know what we'll name him.

Oh...

You better hurry up!
They'll name him Ten-don!

That's fine.

No, it's not!

H-h-hold on a second!

"Celebrity you WOULDN'T want to sleep with:
#1 Hayashiyatei Donta"

He de-throned Degawa...!

Wait, Shishou (master)! We haven't decided
if Taro will become a storyteller yet!

Taro? Such an ordinary name...

I think we thought too hard about
it, so it ended up as a normal name.

At one point, we even
thought of naming him Mozart!

Well, Sayuri-chan, so many happy
things have been happening recently...

A new grandchild, Donkichi
being promoted to headliner...

What?

Last night, we received a phone
call from the head of the association.

And they requested for
Donkichi to be promoted.

Oh...well, that was unexpected...

I'm sorry I b*at you to it.

Not at all! Become a headliner or
a bedpan-liner...anything you wish!

When is it going to be publicly announced?
I'll be the opening act for ya!

Dear...

With a chubby, Woody Allen headliner like this,
we wouldn't be able to fill the whole theater!

I, the prince of the rakugo
world, will liven things up!

Well, did ya hear that? It'll be great!

Yo!

I heard you got a new boyfriend?

Weeeell, to tell you the truth,
I'm the one spreading the rumors.

How nice! I guess I gotta dress
up and find myself a girl, too!

Hey!

Whoa! I thought they were mannequins!

What the hell are you mad about?

I ain't mad.

See...you are!

I'm mad because you keep
saying I'm mad when I'm not mad!

So you are mad then!

I keep telling you, I ain't mad!!

Calm down you guys! Both of
you seem plenty mad to me.

Come here and listen!

WHAAAAAT?!

You took my Megumi-chan...?

Oh! You're mad about Megumi??

You only realized that now?!

Actually, I keep telling you I ain't mad!

Oh, well there ain't nothing
going on between us, idiot!

You mean you guys haven't done it yet?

Oh, well we already did that...twice.

He never asked how many times!!

Oh, sorry. Hold on a sec.

Hello? Toracchi? I'm at
the Tokyo Tower right now!

Yup! I'm on my break. You wanna
eat dinner together tonight?

Huh?! Quit calling me over
stupid stuff like that!

Huh?! What's your problem?!

Huh?! Who do you think
you are, my girlfriend?!

Alright, see ya.

Where were we?

Nevermind already...

Why are you giving up?!

How can you let a boring guy like this steal
that girl with the beautiful, long legs?!

You're 100% more funny than this guy!!

Idiot!

It doesn't matter if I'm funny or not! A
sense of humor is meaningless to her!

What??

You like her??

How could you let yourself
be suckered in by her, too?!!

Actually, why didn't
you all just do her?

It makes perfect sense if you've had a
few drinks and had dinner together, right?

Stop trying to look good, and just do it!

Say something!

I can't...

Our brains work in an entirely different
way, so I just don't know what to say...

Maybe I did do something wrong...?

Okay, sorry. I won't do it anymore
if you love Megumi so much...

I keep telling you that I don't love her!

When did I ever say that??

You never really said it,
but it's pretty obvious to me!

I'd tell you if I really fell in love with her!!

Just leave me alone!

Hey!

What are YOU doing here?

What did ya have to come for?

Hey! Wait a minute! It's been a while, right?

It's good for brothers to
have a chat once in awhile.

If you feel uncomfortable,
Kotora and I will help out.

I'm leaving.

What??

I still have my night job to go to.

See you guys later.

Sit down.

Alright.

Hey Ginjiro, what's
Kyuga-san been up to lately?

What?

He hasn't been coming to the office,
and he doesn't answer his phone...

You didn't hear?

What?

He got married.

And she's only 18! A freakin high
school student til this spring!

It's a crime if you ask me!

Jun-kun...

I thought Kyuga-san was
dating your older sister?

He was. Pops was all set on the idea
of them getting married.

I dunno how to put this lightly, but my
sis is a little "iffy," ya know what I mean?

I ain't approvin of this, Kyuga!

You ruined my precious Shizuka-chan!

I'm terribly sorry, sir.

If you're sorry, why the hell'd
you go and do something like this!?

Making her cry...!!

Sis has been bar hoppin around Roppongi
ever since she was in high school...

So, it's not like she's "Miss Innocent,"
but Pops is just steamin right now...

You'll probably get called in tomorrow.

It's your pops...

I know it's not exactly the
most mature thing to do...

But it's our duty as yakuza to go
all the way in a situation like this.

If not, how can I live
up to my reputation?

Do you absolutely have to live
up to this reputation of yours?

Of course!

So what am I supposed to do?

Cause a "happening" at
Kyuga's wedding party.

....what?

What?

I dunno...just seems kinda...minor.

Why don't we just thr*aten
his fiance or somethin?

Idiot!

I would never do something
like that to Kyuga!

Come onnnn! We're just gonna
teach him a little lesson!

Then, Shizuka-chan will feel better! Right?

Yup! I'll feel a lot better!

Tora, I'm couting on ya!

Donkichi's gonna be the next headliner.

I see...

Is that why you're all depressed?

Don't be stupid! He's turning
40 this year...it's about time!

Donkichi was a train station
master till he was 30, right?

Being promoted to headliner in
just 10 years is a commendable feat.

Don...

Don't get down over every little thing!

Getting up on stage isn't all what
being a storyteller's about, right?

He's right. You can continue doing
rakugo, no matter how old you get.

You should keep making your tv appeara...

"Keeping at it" is what got me the title:
"The #1 Celebrity you wouldn't want to sleep with."

I just gotta try harder...

I'm a father of two, ya know?

I'll try harder...I can do it!

What do you think you're doing?! You're in
no position to be sitting there sippin shochu!

Me?

Yes, you!

It's all your fault that I have that stupid title...
opening that store and putting Dad into debt!

Make women want me! Make women
with legs longer than 80 cm want me!

That's more like you now...

Don-chan...you know..?

What?

You know..?!

Oh, right!

Pull yourself together, dear!

Right, right...

Well, Donkichi over here has
finally made it to headliner!

Yay! Isn't that great?! Yaay!

Would you shut up already?
You're too loud!

Here at Hayashiya-tei, he will
be our first ever headliner!

So we'll be announcing this to the public soon,
and we need to put together a program.

Are you going to perform too, Tora-chan?

Nope, no opening acts. Only
those above the 2nd rank.

By the way...who are you?

I am Megumi!

She's Megumi!

So who are you again?

I'll just kick her out...hey, leave!

What are you doing,
Tora-chan!? Why can't she stay??

How long are your legs?

Are they longer than 80
cm? They are, aren't they?

Nevermind that...Tora-chan, you'll have to learn
a new story. I've still got that debt to pay back.

38,000 yen left!

Oh, I know! We should try "Manju Kowai."
(Scary Manju)

What? I don't like scary stories!

Shishou, is this "Manju Kowai"
story really a scary story?

Well, it's an opening act story, but with the
right acting skills, it'll cause a roar of laughter.

I'll be telling it today, so
why don't you come by and watch?

A roar of laughter...?

Torapyon, this manju is really yummy!

Hey, shut up for a second.

Thank you all for coming. Edokko have a
tendancy to bear with things out of pride...

Oh, he's telling "Manju Kowai" today!

Ahh, it's so nice to soak in the bath!

Oh, sir? You're in the bath already?

Mr. Edokko customer,
isn't the water a bit cold?

What do you mean?? The
temperature's perfect!

Really? Mr. Edokko customer?

Actually, we haven't even
heated the baths up yet...

That was just the tip of the iceberg...

Come on in! Today we're just gonna sit
around and chat for awhile. Come on in!

Alright, I'll get some sashimi over
here, and we'll have a few drinks!

That's what someone rich would
say! All we need is some hot tea.

Hot tea you say??

Hey! What took you so long!!

I was scared out of my mind!

What?

I was takin a short cut when I came
face to face with a big blue-green snake!

It was stickin its tongue out and starin at me!

I was scared shitless. I thought
he was gonna swallow me whole!!

It's nothing to laugh so loud about. Every human
being has at least one thing he's afraid of.

I just can't stand the sight of a slug!

What about you, Kicchan?

For me...it would be a frog.

I'm afraid of spiders!

I hate okera (mole crickets)!

You're always okera (penniless), anyway!

I don't like ants.

I hate horses...

Wow, you folks are afraid
of the weirdest things!

Hey Matsu, what are you afraid of?

Shut up!

It's nothing to get angry about!!

I can't stand listening
to this stupidty anymore!

What, you're afraid of a snake, huh? All you gotta do is
give it a little squeeze and make a headband out of it!

Afraid of spiders, huh? I could just throw a few
in my natto (fermented soy beans) and eat em up!

The spider webs would make it even more stringy!

Afraid of ants, huh? I'd just eat em
like sesame seeds on top my bowl of rice!

Even though these sesame
seeds wouldn't stay still...!

Whether it be a horse or a cricket, no matter how
many legs it may have, I'd eat it! It's the truth!

Really...well then Matsu, you'd
eat this table right here, too?

Yeah, I don't see why I couldn't. But then
again, I don't eat things that might hurt me.

I don't get it. Why was that funny?

How the hell would I know?

So you ain't afraid of anything at all?

Nope!

Really??

How many times do I gotta tell ya!? Oh wait, you're
so persistent that I just remembered one thing!

I'm afraid of just one thing!

Oh you are, huh? What is it??

I'm not telling you!

Why not??

No, you'll laugh at me.

No I won't! Come on!

Alright...I'll tell you
then. I'm scared of manju...

See! You're all laughing!!

You're scared of manju?? That food
with sweet anko beans in the middle??

Stop! Stop!!

Now I have the shivers!!

I'm gonna lie down for awhile!

I'm so scared of manju!!

Isn't that weird?? He's scared of manju!

Hey! Why don't we play
a little trick on him!

Yeah! I've always had a
bone to pick with that guy!

He always teases me about my
appearance! What are we going to do?

Buy a whole bunch of manju and
set them all around his pillow!

Think about it! He gets so scared just talking about it.
Imagine how it would be if actually saw a real manju!!

It would be death by manju!!

Alright, let's play a little game!

There is one manju in here that
contains wasabi horseradish!

Wait a minute! Nobody
told me about this!!

Hey Matsu! Wake up, Matsu!

What is it?? I was sleeping so soundly!!

Oh! It's manju! I'm so scared!!

I'm sooo scared!!

It's sooo spicy!!

Oh no! Look at all these different
kinds of manju! I'm so scared!!

It's so spicy!!

It's chestnut manju! So scaaaared!

It's soba manju! Soba manju, the
most scary manju in the world...!

Heeey...he keeps saying that he's
scared, but he keeps on eating them!

I think we've been had!!

Hey Matsu! What is it that you're
really most afraid of in this world?!

Right now? I'm most afraid
of a nice cup of hot tea.

Thank you very much.

Good work everyone!

"Most hated celebrity"

"Celebrity you wouldn't want as a
boyfriend: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei"

"Celebrity you wouldn't want to
work with: #2 Hayashiyatei Donbei"

"Celebrity you think will disappear
after this year: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei"

"Celebrity you want to see
disappear: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei"

"The most hated celebrity, runs away with the top title!"

Hello! This is Yamazaki's cellphone! Yamazaki is unable
to answer the phone right now, so I, Megumi will...

Hey! Don't answer my phone!

Hello?!

I'm sorry to interrupt your afternoon
drive with your little "sex friend"...

Idiot, what are you talking about?

Do you have any plans for tonight?

Alright, I'll meet you at
the oden cart at 10, then.

Wait! You better come alone!

Oden! Oden! Oden at 10!!

Alright.

I want fish cake!! Okay, Torajiro??

Yeah, whatever...could you just decide
on one name to call me from now on?

It's been bothering me for awhile now.

After you left, my brother seemed really depressed,
and lately he seems really suffocated when he's on tv.

Really?

He seems the same to me.

He's gonna be the opening
act for Donkichi's show soon.

That ain't good.

It ain't?

He does a good job while he's practicing,
but once he gets up on stage, he falls apart.

He can't handle pressure very well.

But they love him on tv...

Those are just spur-of-the-moment gags, but
in actuality, he's on the verge of a breakdown.

He may not look it, but
he's really pessimistic.

Things have gotten better since he got married...

Even though his wife used to be
much more famous than him...

Famous?

You didn't know?! She
used to be an enka singer.

Whaat??

Here.

"Crying on Kokusai Dori (International Street)"..."2"?

Part 2 was more popular than the first one.

His father's a master-comedian, his little
brother's a genius rakugo storyteller...

And on top of that, his wife was a famous
singer...no wonder his stress is building up.

Are you done with practice?

Oh...stop it!

Why not?? I had to wait
for half a year! Come on...!

No! It'll wake up Saya, and
I still have to feed Taro.

I understand...you wouldn't want to
sleep with Japan's most hated celebrity...

What?

I understand...it would be terrible to sleep
with someone that no one wants to sleep with.

No one would want to sleep with a woman that
slept with a man that no one wants to sleep with.

In other words, the only man that would sleep with a woman
that slept with a man that no one wants to sleep with...

Is the man that no one wants to sleep with.

What are you talking about?

I don't know...

Damn...I don't know anymore.

Ryu-chan, you should rest for awhile.
You're starring in 7 shows right now, right?

You're pushing yourself too
hard...you must be tired.

Why don't you cut back a little?

Tsuru-chan...

My old producer asked me if I
wanted to make a come-back soon.

Of course not immediately, but Mother has
agreed to look after the children for me...

I'm going to bed.

Ryu-chan!

Can I move on to the
main issue at hand now?

Wait a minute...then what was all
this talk up til now? An introduction??

I think I might be in love...

I told you that I'd tell you when
I really did fall in love, right?

Well, I've been thinking
about it a lot since then...

I think I might be in love, after all...

What am I supposed to do about that...?

Oh, wait. Are you talking about Megumi?

Oh, damn you scared me. I
thought you were talking about me!

You stupid or somethin?!

Why are ya telling this to me
anyway? Why don't you go tell HER!

What the hell is she doing here??
I told you to come alone!

It's not my fault!
She wouldn't go home!

I'll go get her.

No!! Don't!

I know I don't stand a chance at this point
if she's obediently waiting in the car!

"I'll be waiting at the office." -Kyuga

What's with this "gal moji"
(codes that high school girls use)?

I gotta go.

Whaaat?!

Watch my car.

Nice to meet you!

We've met before!!

Oh, sorry. Your face just isn't
impressionable enough for me to remember.

Why don't ya come over here and say that!?

You ain't gotta hide it from me.

The boss told ya to do
something, didn't he?

Yea...at the wedding party...

Cause a ruckus?

Not a ruckus...just a "happening."

How minor...

So what are ya plannin?

Planning? I'm still obligated
to you for taking me in...

If you side with me,
you'll make boss lose face.

This is about reputation again...

Her parents are really strict people!

It took me, a 100% yakuza, 6 months to
finally convince them to let me marry her!

If this is gonna end in a catastrophe,
I wanna know what's going on!

Alright, Toraaa??!

Yes, sir!

Can't you think of a good plan?

A good plan, sir?

I want daikon, a boiled egg, and fish cake!!

Daikon, boiled egg, and fish cake, huh??

You want a square fish cake, too??

Yeah!

Okay! Do you want one that's full of
juice, or one that's as puffy as can be??

One that's as puffy as can be!!

Why don't you just get out of the car?!

But it's cooold...

You're from Aomori, ain't ya?!

It's sooo cold!

Legs long like a king crab!!

Are you drunk?

No, I'm not!

...or maybe I am!

Actually, why don't you sit down?

I don't think I can win when
there's such a height difference...

It's so coooold!

You'll get warm after you drink and eat a little.

You think Toravolta will
get jealous if he sees us?

You call him Toravolta?

Nope.

Let's eat!

Um...Am I that unmemorable?

I'd rather be hated than forgotten about...

After all, I'm the younger brother of the
#1 celebrity that no one wants to sleep with.

Sorry!

I'll tell you beforehand, but I
can never get straight to the point.

You remember when you dissed
my clothes that one time?

It totally pissed me off, so I hunted you down!

I guess my face isn't very impressionable
compared to all those other guys...

But if I absolutely had no feelings for you, I wouldn't
have gone through all that trouble to find you...

See...look. I haven't gotten rid of it yet...

Half the reason is that I don't have any money...

But I just couldn't get over you...like
a joke with a forgotten punchline...

Sorry! You probably wouldn't understand...

Umm...uh...

Ryuji...?

Oh right, Ryuji-san. You
must be a very kind person.

Really?

You know what? Country girls like me are
attracted to kind men like you...uh...

Ryuji.

Yes, kind men like you, Ryuji-san.

But at the same time, we're
attracted to cold men like Toracchi.

Even though we should really
date guys like you...uh...

Ryuji.

Yes, guys like you, Ryuji-san.

Uhmmm....

It's Ryuji!! You have got
to be doing that on purpose!!

You're really good at fast comebacks.

Getting praised over something like that
doesn't make me feel better at all...

I totally just realized something amazing!!

Huh?

Tora-chan and you, Ryuji-san,
are Tiger and Dragon!!

Yea...I guess you're right.

So that's why you guys get
along so well!! Isn't that cool?!

Yeah, it's great...I knew
that but kept quiet about it...

So why don't you keep quiet and
listen to what I have to say?!!

Yes, sir.

Oooh! I fell asleep!!

Stay asleep!!

I had a dream that I peed my pants...

Oh no! I really DID pee my pants!!

I'm gonna go home now...
I have to wake up early tomorrow.

I had fun!

I had fun too...

Let's drink together again...

Yea!

Can I get your phone number?

Just ask Tora-chan!

Like I could, stupid.

Hayashiyatei Donkichi has become headliner!

It's an announcement, everyone.

Liven up a little, won't ya?

Outta my way.

He's first to perform! Where
the heck did Donta disappear to?!

Maybe he ran away.

He doesn't take us seriously...just
because he appears on tv...

Why, who might you folks be...?

I'll have you know that none of my pupils would ever
do such a thing as not show up for a performance.

No matter how bad they might be...I've
taught them to do the very best they can...!

Please calm down!

What do you mean calm down?!
This is YOUR announcement program!

How can you stay so calm...!
Uh oh...nosebleed...

Donta's missing. He's the opening
act but he hasn't shown up yet.

He's your brother, ain't he? Don't you
have an idea of where he might be hiding?

It's the 5 minute warning!
Hit the drum!

Oh no, the drum for the first act has sounded!
Who's going up there?

I will!

No, stupid! Stop!

Did ya just call me stupid?!

Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake...

I've memorized about an 8th...er maybe
a 6th of "Scary Manju," so I'll be fine...

A 6th?! Only a 6th?! Let's not do this...okay??

I know, I'll go!

No! There's no way you can go out there first!

I'll go!

Tsuruko-chan?

Tsuru-chan?

Oh my god, it's Tenkouji Tsuruko!!!

Damn...she's so popular!

Let's go!

I went to Sensoji, looking for you...

Took the aquatic bus to Sumidagawa...

From Azuma bridge to Kappa bridge...

From Rokku nakamise to Hanayashiki...

Donta-san!

Honey, oh, dear, you, Doooonta!

Oh, dear, Donta, honey, oh, you...

Did you find him?

I looked all over Asakusa,
but there's no sight of him.

I can only think of one
more place that he might be.

Where??

Right there.

Searching for you...all over
Kokusai Dori (International Street)!

Bro...

What the hell are you going to do?

You nearly ruined such an
important day for Donkichi!

I wouldn't be surprised if you get expelled!

Maybe you're not meant for this job.

Why don't you just stick
to your TV appearances!?

Wait a minute!

He really does want to do rakugo...

You've left this household
already, so mind your own business!

Are you planning to kick him out, too?!
This is exactly like what happened to me!!

His circumstances are different from yours!

He has a wife and two kids...

That's exactly why I'm
telling you not to expel him!

You can do classics no
matter how old you get!

It ain't that simple!!

Give me a break!!

You say that classics can always be done when
you're older, so what are you saying about my life?!

I told classics from when I was really young! Are
you saying my whole life has been a waste of time?!

You've got to be kidding me!

Don't talk big just because you're young!

You're just finding an
easy way out of things!

Whether it be making a living on clothes or starring
on television...you're just wasting your lives away!

You think you can tell classics when
you're older with absolutely no experience?!

When did I ever say that
I was gonna do classics?

When the hell did I ever say that I
was gonna do rakugo?! Stupid old man!!

Nobody's takin over the family business!

As long as you keep acting like you're the big
boss, nobody's gonna follow in your footsteps!!

How dare you talk to your own
father like that?! You little punk!!

It pisses me off because I don't know
whether you're my father or my teacher!!

Whaddya do that for?

Nevermind.

This is my problem. The more you
get heated, the harder it is for me.

Ryu-chan...

I apologize for today.

Tsuruko, Donkichi-san, I'm terribly sorry!

But please, allow me time to
think more about my future.

And...mother's crying.

W-w-what??

Oh! I'm so sorry, Sayuri-chan!

I keep telling you not
to make Sayuri-chan cry!!

It wasn't me, right?? I'm asking
you whether it was my fault or not!

Hey, Ryuji!

That was pretty uncool, wasn't
it? Sorry you had to see that.

No. It wasn't uncool at all.

You're probably gonna say that
I'm too straightforward again...

But, ain't it great having parents?

You really are straightforward...

Rakugo is interesting, but so
is experiencing having a family.

I have experience in neither, so I'm learning
all about it right now from your old man.

So, Ryuji...

What?

Come back more often...

And show me a whole lot
more of what I just saw.

I'll never have a chance against you, after all.

Whaddya mean?

Megumi-chan was saying...

What?

She said that you and I are a tiger and...

Hello?

You're answering it?!

Whaddya gonna do about it, Tora?
The wedding party's next week.

I know, I know.

Actually, the Boss has been
tellin me the exact same thing.

Maybe we'll have to postpone it after all...

Whaaat?

You better do it on schedule. I'll
try to smooth things over with my pops.

No. I can't put you guys out of your way...

What are you doing?

This...?

Tiger, tiger, jirettaiga!

Uhh...all Edokko...

You're telling "Manju Kowai," aren't ya?

Yea, I'm going to tell "Manju Kowai."

Well, around the Shinjuku, Kabuki-cho area, there
once was a yakuza who was both attractive and smart.

However, one day, he decided to wed a young girl
that was half his age. This caused some big problems.

The yakuza had been in a fairly long
relationship with his boss's daughter.

So he tried to think of a good plan...

"100 things you shouldn't do at a wedding party"

Why would some guy like this become famous?

Hey, isn't that one of the Hayashitei sons?

His jokes are lame...women especially hate him.

Poor guy...

Kyuga's new wife really hates him, too.

It's like her body reacts negatively to him.

Just by seeing his face, she feels like
throwing up, and goes into a seizure.

Really?? Well, that's good to know!

So... he called his men over to tell them this info.

I heard that Kyuga's girl hates Donta!

Is that so...?

Well, he's disliked all over the country...

So why don't we invite Donta to the
wedding party and cause a commotion!?

Whaaaat?!

Do you have any idea what
would happen if we did that?!

It'll be quite entertaining now, won't it?!

Perform at a wedding party?

Yea, and he's been real good to me,
so I just couldn't turn him down.

Sure, I'll do it...but are you
sure you want me to perform?

Wouldn't you rather have Donkichi?

No! It's gotta be you!

Bro, it has to be you!!

This entertainer...his name Anrakutei, Donta,
was famous for being disliked around Edo.

Although being disliked is also a measure
of how famous, or well, infamous he is...

But he had his worries...

So, he went to his younger brother,
the shopkeeper Ryu, for help.

Can you teach me rakugo?

Are you serious?

Yeah, teach me a real good classy one.

Please!

And so...as some of you
may already have realized...

What? Donta's here??

He's here, isn't he?! I
wanna take a picture with him!

She was what you would call a fanatic...

No! When Donta comes, no matter how happy you
may be, you gotta pretend that you hate his guts.

Why?! I don't understand!

He's really into S&M...
He's a total masochist!

Masochist?

So the more you're mean to him,
the better his performance will be!

That makes no sense at all!

What?! No! Stop!!

To tell you the truth...

Without any clue of what was going on...

Toshiko-san! Congratulations!
Don! Don! Don...

Don't do the Don Dons! You're
supposed to be classy today!

There's gonna be a "happening" today..!

Now we will have a special guest
performance! You've seen him on tv...!

Please give a warm welcome
to Mr. Hayashiyatei Donta!

Hello!

Nooooo!!

Thank you very much!

Today, I would like to perform a
rakugo which I never do on television...

NO!!

It seems one member of the
audience does not like the idea...

Don't worry about it! Just go on!

A long time ago, when this
city was known as Edo...

NOOO!!!

Toshiko, yell even louder!

Donta's SO GROSS!!!!

...SO GROSS....!!

More.

Donta sucks!!!

More!

I HATE DONTA!!!

Take off your clothes, Donta!

Don't do it, Donta!

Alright, it's off!

Don don don! Dontagon!

Wait right there!!

Just watch.

That was Donta's final straw, and
as if a fish out of water, no...

More like a broken dam, he went into a rage!

This is my real job!

Hold it right there, bride!

No!

I'm going in!

I'm administering a finger enema to the bride!

Sir, I have finished administering a finger enema!

Alright! Next target, the groom's crotch!

Yessir!

Reaaady...seeeet...dodge-d*ck!

Hmm...a moment of silence.

Don! Don! Don! Doncharakan!

This is great!

Daddy, are you sure she really hates this?

Oh sh*t!

Medetai (congratulations) Mede-Titanic!

Hey...she seems to be enjoying this!

What's going on here, Ginjiro?!

This isn't what you said!

Oops...?

Oh I get it...it's "Manju Kowai"

Donta you're so gross...too gross!

Hey...you guys tricked me, didn't ya?

What are you talking about, sir?

Don't play dumb!

She keeps saying she hates
him, but she's having a ball!

You're a fan of Donta's, aren't ya?!

Whaat?? I hate this guy!

Don't lie!

Then tell me what else you hate!

Umm...I also hate houses with big yards,
German-style kitchens, and plasma TVs...

Excuse me...

Alright...I'll buy em for you.

Thank you very much, sir!

I was soo scared!!

Oh! I also hate adorable babies!

Well, I guess you'll just have to
take care of that one yourselves!

Good job, Tora-chan!

Here's your Coke-float!

I think you did a fairly good job, Kotora.

Really?? Thank you very much!

Oh, well here's this month's lesson fee.

Oh right...I hate nothing more than money!

What?

That Anrakutei Donta that
came up in your story...

That was my son Donta, wasn't it?
And that shopkeeper Ryu is...

Sorry sir, I can't disclose that info.

Why not??

Where's this month's payment?!

Oh! Right! I was just about to...

Where's the envelope?!

Oh no! I forgot all about it!
Is this alright??

"Do not try this at home"

Things don't seem to have changed at all.

Well, at least he can work
without any doubts now.

Alright, I'd like to move on
to the main issue at hand now...

Again? Huh?

Well, the other night, I got to spend
some time alone with Megumi, right?

We made a promise to see each other again...

And so...I'd like to ask
you for her phone number...

Are you even listening?!

Look!

That's not any ordinary fellow, is it?

That ain't no ordinary fellow!

Are you Hayashiyatei Kotora?