04x03 - José

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Call My Agent!" Aired: 14 October 2015 –; present.*
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Agents at a Paris talent firm scramble to keep their star clients happy and their business afloat.
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04x03 - José

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I'm coming, baby!

I'm coming… Oh, my baby! There you are!

There you are.

Bah bah bah bah…

Bah, bah, bah.

Hey, what are you doing up and awake?

Five a.m. is no time to wake up.

Well?

You're fully awake, aren't you?

You know, at 5 a.m.,
mommy was in nightclubs.

Yup…You take after mommy Andréa.

Want to go see mommy Colette?

"We're out of diapers and powdered…

"milk. Don't forget about co-parenting
tomorrow at daycare."

m*therf*cking son of a bitch!

Yeah. It's me.

What you're doing is irresponsible.
Did you think about Flora?

Abandoned by her mother at six months old.

That's 15 years of psychoanalysis minimum.

I mean, I don't get it, you…

It makes no sense!

You don't leave someone because
you cheated on them.

Don't forget to double down
on the muscadet.

Whatever, loser!

Yeah, you moron.

I feel like it's going to be a good day.

- Don't you agree?
- Yeah! Totally.

I'm excited about this role.

It's robust and sensual at the same time,
I'm going to make people want to eat.

There's this part in All Fired Up
when Yves Montand cooks an omelet

for Adjani. The second after,
you want to eat an omelet.

Not a fan of paupiettes?
Watch Lino Ventura.

And you'll want to eat paupiettes.

- José?
- You're ok?

- Makeup is waiting.
- OK.

- You look out of sorts.
- I'm fine.

It's a bit tense at home, but…

With Colette?

- "Without" Colette, you mean.
- José?

Laurence.

How have you been? It's been ages.

Well, I…

I was just telling my agent that…

That I was really excited to be here
on this set. And that…

it was going to be a…

A great sh**t.

- Yeah.
- OK. Well, see you on set.

Yeah.

José?

God damn it!

I can't sh**t under these circumstances.

I know. But it's nothing,
it's just a… I swear.

It's just a fit.

I'm going to drink upside down.
In a second it'll be… Thanks.

You're very kind. Watch, it'll go away.

It's the first time this happens to me.

I had a friend who had the hiccups
for 14 months.

- Hey, Caro? Think positive, please.
- sh*t…

- Go fetch him a straw.
- Yes.

Well… I don't know, try to relax, and…

- I'm going back on set. Andréa?
- f*ck.

Do what you have to do,
but I want him un-hiccuped.

f*ck. Damn it.

- All right. José.
- Yeah?

Sorry about this.

What's the issue?

It might be the diaphragm...

No. The issue with Laurence.

- Thanks.
- It's sex related.

I know it, I have a radar.

I'll leave you to it.

You're right.

We met twenty years ago.

On a movie set.
It was right after Nulle Part Ailleurs.

She was starting out, so was I…

She'd just gotten married
and so had I. And… Well…

And it was love at first sight. There.

And since production had rented

a room, for the director,

which he never used,
I pretended to be him,

and we had the 2 craziest months

of passion, that kind of thing…

It was insane.

I mean, romantic…

Yes, insane.

Yeah, insane, all right.

After that, I moved on to another project.

Of course, she did too.

So we decided to meet up
in this hotel room # 10, one last time,

and to make a decision in the morning.

And?

And so I went to meet her.

I climbed up the stairs.

I walked down the corridor,
I stopped in front of door # 10.

Ready to knock and…

I figured that…

That we were going to put
each other at risk.

And that we were going to hurt
a great many people.

So I left.

And we never got in touch again.

And you regret it?

No, no…

- You feel guilty?
- No!

No. I did what had to be done.

- Don't you think she got over it?
- She probably did.

- I mean, twenty years…
- Yeah.

You saw her, she's beautiful.

Yeah…

Hey! It's gone!

- Ah!
- What did I tell you?

All right! Let's go! We're on!

- You feel all right?
- No.

I don't feel good.

Are you sure we can't postpone?

You don't postpone
a photo-sh**t for Tiffany's.

- Aren't you all pumped up?
- Sure. In a hung over way.

Guess what they told me.

They said you were the perfect ambassador.

Because you embody the "spicy
and bold feminity" of the brand.

That's very nice of them but…

My feminity is more
"tired and in the dumps".

What's wrong?

Is it Gabriel?

No, no.

OK…

- It's Sarah.
- So Gabriel's girlfriend.

I have nothing against her.

She seems nice enough, but…

That wig business was sort of drag.

It k*lled the atmosphere.

People seemed to think it was pretty fun.

No, actually, I don't think so.

They were faking.

But I'm not jealous.
I have no reason to be jealous.

Of course not.

You and Gabriel have moved on.

Right?

Totally. And besides, I'm happy for him,
but let's not push it.

He ditched me to go off with her.
There I stood with my two caipirinhas.

That's why I had to drink both.

That's why I'm hung over.
Thanks a bunch, Sarah.

Wait. Sorry.

Hello?

Oh, yes, hi.

That's wonderful news.

I'll tell her now, she'll be delighted.

It's her dream.

Sounds great.

- Who was it?
- Honoré picked one of my actresses!

A small part but this is awesome.

- Cool.
- I've got to call her.

It will be a great day.

Yeah.

Yes, I know it's rude, Constance.

I didn't want to tell you,
but her cat d*ed.

She found out while in the waiting room.

And they were really close.

So give her another chance.
She'll inject all of that grief

and suffering into her performance.

It'll be poignant, you won't regret it!

Yes? Oh, thank you!

Tomorrow, 10 a.m., OK.

All right, great. Listen…

She's going to be over the moon. Thanks.

- sh*t.
- Why "sh*t"?

Isn't it great news?

Now I have to convince her. You don't
know her, she's a cat. A Siamese cat.

Fascinating but unpredictable.

You never know if she's going to purr
or rip up your face.

Valérie Donzelli.

The kid must be quivering with joy.

It's making her freak out is what it is.
And she won't listen to me.

Oh, here comes my wildcat!

Médiawan, how can I help you?

Hi, what's up?

Ah, Justine!

Justine?

Médiawan, how can I help you?

Oh, hello, Mrs. de Serisy.

Yes! No, actually, this is Noémie.
Lovely to meet you.

Justine is busy right now.

Yes! He's gone out for lunch.

He wrote to say
he was stuck at the office?

Then I think it's...

Mrs. de Serisy? Yes, this is Justine.

Of course he's here, he's taking a call.

He'll call you back
as soon as he hangs up. Have a good day.

Nobody but me picks up this phone.

Especially if it's his wife. Undertood?

Yes, of course, sure.

I'm sorry, I wanted to help...

You didn't.

Next time, try to hold back.

Yes. Sure.

Yes, Jean-Luc.

Who's that?

You don't know Elise Formain?

StarMédia's biggest agent.

She snatched Nathalie Baye
and Dany Boon from us. And others too.

What is she doing here?

Do you think StarMédia
is going to buy ASK?

Gabriel!

If she wants shares, we can't negotiate...

What is Elise Formain doing here?

The door, please.

- So...
- Shut the door, please.

What are our competitors doing here?

So… Are we expecting anyone else?

You remember the consequences
of Mathias leaving?

That was before…

Because now, what we have is…

There.

Plus Daniel Auteuil. And many more.

We can't let Starmédia buy ASK.

No one is buying anyone. We're hiring.

Elise Formain is joining us at ASK.

- With all her clients.
- Excuse me?

Is this a joke?

- And why?
- You're asking why?

Is the table not clear enough?
Do I have to spell it out?

She's got an impressive list of clients,
sure, but that's not all that counts.

This chick, it's Mathias with high heels.

It's The Devil Wears Prada...

We get the gist.
Even I get the references.

Let's not blow this out of proportion.

Come on. I'm not her biggest fan,
but she's not a monster either.

Gabriel is right.

Why don't we vote?

- What?
- Thanks, Hicham.

But there's no security net.

What do you mean, "no security net"?

I don't have any money left at the ready.

So if you can't redress
the balance yourselves, it's over.

Let's do it.

Who is in favor
of not hiring Elise Formain?

Knowing that it's curtains
if we don't find another solution.

Who is in favor of hiring Elise,
knowing we'll get all her clients?

Allowing us to pay rent, our salaries,
and send accounting back to their floor?

- No…
- Sorry.

I can't work like this!

Is there a problem with the copy machine?

No, it's the most friendly thing here.

You haven't noticed
that no one talks to us?

No, I hadn't noticed.

Mathias. My waste paper basket
never gets emptied.

It even fills up overnight.

I don't follow.

I think that Justine

fixed it with the cleaning staff.

To persecute me.

No, no… Look, calm down.

We just got here. It's all very normal.
We have to find our bearings. Settle in.

ASK was a family, a cocoon.

It's very different here. It may be

for the best. Back there,
everything was mixed-up.

No boundaries
between professional and personal lives.

You're not really
in any position to complain.

I'm sorry, Mathias,

but I need conviviality in my life!

I'm isolated at work, we don't socialize.

We could at least have people over
for dinner!

Like whom?

Like friends.

You had dinner parties with Catherine,
I know, I was doing the invites.

So… it seems to me
you don't want to introduce me.

Are you ashamed of me?

I don't see my friends anymore.

I was never good
at maintaining a social life.

Catherine handled it,
and after all, they were her friends.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, forgive me, I didn't know.

Don't worry, we're not going to give in.

No way are we going to live
like dead rats. OK?

I'm glad I talked to you.

- Here.
- Thanks.

You're welcome.

Everyone, please!

Elise, the floor is yours.

Well, thank you all
for welcoming me to ASK.

Let's be honest,

I have something
of a bad reputation among competitors.

And to be honest,

I may, in a sense, deserve it.

But it's all a matter of perspective.

So, after 20 years at Starmédia,

this is a new start for me.

I'm not coming in alone.

Let me introduce Marine and Océane,
my two wonderful assistants.

Hello.

I've heard she's had 3 husbands, 1 child
with each and 200 lovers. She's an ogress.

…especially Hervé and Camille.

I've heard a lot of good things
about ASK's juniors.

You're bold, intuitive.

Two qualities that make excellent agents.

People are saying good things about us?

Forget "ogress." "Connoisseur"
is more appropriate.

Andréa, I know it's not easy for you.

We've never really got along.

And yet, I've always admired your work.

You've put a lot into this agency.

You're a true fighter. Like me.

I'm sure we have a lot to learn
from each other.

Thanks for trusting me.

Thank you.

Arlette. Dearest Arlette.

- We've had our fair share of run-ins.
- I'll say.

Sorry about Jean Rochefort.

And I'm sorry about Piccoli. Even-steven.

As for you, Gabriel...

Sorry, I don't have time for this.
I have work to do.

Oh, yes. Yes, I would like
to propose a toast. Listen up.

To the death of our principles!
Samuel Kerr, if you're watching…

Well, look away. For your own good.

In any case…

you never did me any wrong,
and you work hard.

Before leaving for London, I wanted

to welcome Elise.

To Elise!

To Elise!

Thank you.

Thank you.

sh*t.

Who cares who you are
outside of this kitchen?

Once you put on your jacket
and your apron, you become a whole.

And a whole is a brigade.

And a brigade is a family. And now…

Now, I need my family.

Because this restaurant is my life. OK?

So if we can't surprise people,
if we can't make them happy…

Then, it's over.
So when you put your toga...

The toque.

Sorry. When you put on your toque…

When you fasten your brigade…

- Your apron.
- You become…

- What?
- Your apron.

Your apron!

It's my restaurant, damn it!

And… and…

And I mean, go for it!

Go for it!

So…

Try to…

You know. It's my life… And life…

OK. Cut!

We're cut.

sh*t.

Right… Right, I see.

Yes. It's the 12th take he's screwed up.

He loses his voice, forgets his lines.

- Let's try it again!
- Yeah.

- José.
- Yeah.

- You have to yell at them.
- Yes, yes.

Don't hesitate. Really rip into them.

- Yes. I know. Yes.
- OK?

Oh, and the camera…

Don't look at it.

Was I looking at it?

- A little. Yeah.
- Oh. Sorry.

Let's try it again.

Rolling. Clapperboard.

Action!

Truth is, I don't care who you are
outside of this kitchen. All right?

When you put on your jacket…

As soon as you… as you…

You fasten your apron…

Right… You have to be…

Aware… damn it.

It's back, damn it.

- f*ck it.
- I'm sorry.

- Cut, let's take five.
- Darn…

A glass of water with…

a straw please? Because…

- It's back.
- What do I do now?

Call a witch doctor?

No, I'm the witch doctor.

Laurence?

Hi. Do you have a minute?

I'm Andréa Martel, José's agent.

Is he OK? Because we're struggling here.

I apologize in advance,

I'll try to tread carefully
but it's not really in my department.

José told me about your affair
20 years ago.

Right.

And Laurence, really,
I can imagine the pain, the…

The unanswered questions.

He's acting like this because
he feels guilty about not showing up.

To the hotel, 20 years ago.
And it'd make him feel better

to know that you don't hold any grudges.

I mean that you're healed, I guess.

If you are healed, that is.

Wow, what a relief.

I've felt awful since the beginning
of the sh**t.

I thought he was mad at me.

I didn't go to the hotel either,
20 years ago.

What José and I had was intense.
It meant a lot.

But it wasn't meant to last.
And it was a long time ago.

You stood each other up.

I guess you can say that.

A reverse romantic comedy.

Laurence.

Whenever you want.

- I have to go.
- No problem.

Then we're good? Excellent.

Everyone get into position, please!

Gabriel?

- Elise.
- Not now!

Wait! Wait, wait, wait!

Doors closing.

Sorry, I didn't see you there.

Yeah…

Don't you think the two of us should talk?

I understand
that my arrival sticks in your craw.

Sorry. Text message.

- What are you doing?
- Creating the conditions for dialog.

We need to talk, to clear the atmosphere.

The atmosphere is very clear.
Everything's fine.

Hey!
You can't hold people against their will,

it's sequestration!

So, call the cops.
Instead of sending imaginary texts.

Are you kidding me?

sh*t, no.

Oh, no.

Couldn't you invite me out for coffee
like normal?

You're all right?

No, I'm…

claustrophobic.

- sh*t.
- Very claustrophobic.

That sucks.

Come on.

f*ck.

Hello? Help, I'm stuck with Elise Formain!

LUNCH?

STUCK AT WORK SRY

SRY, ALSO SWAMPED

Noémie. I set up a dinner party
for tomorrow evening at home.

Oh, great! Who with?

Igor and his wife.

Terrific.

Yeah, José?

Did you get my message?
Sorry, I had to run back to the office.

See? Laurence didn't turn up
for your date either.

Yes, so now you can stop feeling guilty
and…

Focus on your work.

Yeah, Laurence is great.

The 2 of you should talk,
it'll smooth everything out.

OK. Well.

Enjoy the sh**t, Jojo. Bye.

How long is this going to take?

Many clients come through here.

They'll have to take the stairs
like everyone else.

For actors, walking up the stairs
happens in Cannes,

and Cannes only.

Do you want a red carpet?

Could you help me?

Thanks.

You're so beautiful.

Give me some of that bold, spicy woman.

Right off the bat.

- Sofia?
- Yes?

You're next. You're up.

- Mélanie's done.
- Mélanie?

Mélanie Meyer. The actress.

- Yes. "Most Promising Actress."
- That's the one.

You knew.

I swear, I didn't.

So I go after the girl
who b*at me to the César?

Am I always going to come in second
after her?

Even her name gets on my nerves,
"Mélanie Meilleure".

Yes?

Sofia Leprince! It's so great to see you.

- How are you?
- Great!

This is Camille, my agent.

Hi.

How are things with you?

Really great!

By the way, congratulations on your César.

Oh, thanks.

Being an ambassador is insane.

They lend you jewelry,
invite you to parties. It's nuts.

Are you coming tonight?

I don't know yet.

- Are we going together?
- No.

I have work to do.

But parties are work.

Network.
50% of the job is in your network.

Want to network together?

Who's stewing in there?

Mr. Sarda and Mrs. Formain.

Oh, well, that's wonderful.

Can we let them simmer until tomorrow?

No. Just kidding.

What are you doing?

I'm booking a weekend with my girlfriend.

Oh, that's nice.

What's her name?

Forget it, she already has an agent.

Are you OK?

Hey.

You know that you can ask for help?

I won't tell anyone.

I'll even say that you negotiated
a contract while we were stuck.

You're really set on not liking me.

We're going to die. sh*t!

No, it's fine.

It's going to be OK.

It's all right.

You could be on a mission for Starmédia.

Sent here to steal our last clients

and sink the agency for good.

Seriously?

Wow, OK…

like a psychiatric case, then?

I know, it's not a cool thing to think.
Much less to say. But…

It's cute when you try to be mean.

You're the only agent
with the reputation of being nice.

Yes, I know, yes.

I'm starting to be fed up with it.

No matter how hard I try
to be the bad guy…

It doesn't work.

It makes people laugh
and then they think I'm even nicer.

I understand.

The same happens to me
when I try to be nice.

Now it's better.

Oh, great!

There…

Oh, sorry.

Thanks.

Can I talk to Colette, please?

Andréa? Is that you?

I know you saw each other again,
so if she's there, put her on.

She left?

No, stop it.

Eva. Don't lie to me, or...

Or what? You'll come over
and tear my place apart?

If I'd managed to get her back
I'd be shouting it from the rooftops.

How long has it been?

Twenty-four hours.

That's nothing.

Have faith in her. She'll be in touch.

Colet... Ah, José.

Andréa!

What are you doing here?

Oh, f*ck, listen.

I haven't felt this good in ages.

- Oh, sh*t, you're drunk.
- No!

OK, I haven't been this drunk in ages.

But what a night, Andréa!
You have no idea!

- It was the craziest night!
- Please.

Tone it down.

- The baby is sleeping.
- Your daughter?

I've never seen her. Can I go take a peek?

Just to see her.

- OK.
- She's sleeping!

Did Colette come back?

- It's José!
- José, come on!

sh*t, sorry.

Hey, look at me?

You're gorgeous, seriously. Just
looking at you puts a spring in my step.

Can I come?

Stay here. And please keep quiet.

OK. Can I have a drink?

Yeah, help yourself.

For years, I was obsessed
with idea of working with the greatest.

Depardieu, Dujardin, Deneuve…

Did you stop at D in the phone book?

Touché. So I wanted to be
a part of the big family of cinema, but…

After being rejected so many times,

I understood that I also need
to create my own family.

Sure, sh**ting with stars
or winning a César rocks,

but since I've started working with actors
with the same energy, huge difference.

We have each other's backs,
we write together,

we share info on auditions.

It's a life-changer.

Wow. It sounds like a dream.

Then let's dream together!
Let's work on a project,

I love your energy.

I do too!

I mean, I love your energy.

- Hold on, wait.
- What?

You're missing an earing.

- No…
- Yeah.

It fell.

That sucks. It's your first night out
with borrowed jewels.

What should I do? They're diamonds.

Don't worry. Ask your agent to handle it.

But it's my own fault.

They're also here for the rough times,
not just to go out for drinks.

Don't worry.

Come.

- Thank you, Camille.
- OK.

The guy knows my name.

- Well, I asked your friend, yeah.
- You did?

- Yeah.
- You're inquisitive.

I know what I want is all.

I almost didn't come tonight.

I was b*at,
but I don't regret it for a minute.

Or I wouldn't have met you.

- Can I be straight with you?
- Go ahead.

Could I come to your place?

OK, I see.

No, was I clumsy?

- No.
- Yeah, I can feel it.

No, I'm sorry.

It's very sweet.

OK.

- Right now?
- Oh no, we can wait for office hours.

It's a life-long dream
to sign with ASK, so I can wait.

- She's finally asleep.
- I'm sorry.

So, what did you do tonight?

I was with Laurence.

What a woman, Andréa,
you have no idea! What a night!

- And you…?
- We talked!

For hours. Listen,

I did everything you told me to.
One thing leading to another,

we were hitting it off again
like we were 20.

Nothing's changed. We were 25 again.

Then I took her to a gypsy restaurant.

I've still got it, damn it. I even did

a jazz split and hurt my…

- José…
- Yeah, all right.

- And?
- And, well, I…

I told her to meet me tomorrow,

tomorrow night at the hotel

from the date that never was, room 10.

- But why did you do that?
- Why?

Because it's back like it was before.

But even better. It's true love.

But, José, aren't you still married?

Well, yeah.

It's love at first sight.

Oh, f*ck. You knocked?

Didn't you? Twenty years ago?

You knocked on that door
and she never answered.

It broke your heart and that's why

you flipped when you saw her.
And now, it's back again.

It's better this time.
We're crazy in love and…

I want to believe in it.

Like in the movies, but in real life.

Can you understand?

You, my agent? Anyway…

Enough of me.

- You've got enough problems.
- Where are you going? Sit down.

You're sh**ting tomorrow.

I can't let you go in this state.

Sleep here. The unit manager
will come pick you up here.

I gotta get up early tomorrow,
I'm co-parenting.

Co-parenting?

At the Ladybugs Daycare Center,
it's a concept.

So I'll wake you up when I leave. Deal?

I'll get some sheets.

- Andréa?
- Yes?

Thanks.

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, sh*t.

José?

You have to wake up, we're late.

José…

- Hello?
- I'm here to pick up José.

I'm looking for him too.

But he's gone, he isn't here.

- He's not with you?
- Well, no.

I'll call you back, OK?

Sweetheart, you've got to wake up.

We're late for daycare.

Flora?

Andréa, you're OK?

Oh, my baby, my baby…

You're insane.

Hold on, everything's fine, hey relax.

I left a note. You didn't see it?

They called this morning,
I didn't want to wake you up.

And now… Look!

Princess Chubby-cheeks.

I wound up here
with all the little babies.

Where's the co-mom?

- Who?
- The lady who takes care of the babies.

Oh, yes, Capu. Capu?

Her name is Capucine.

- Here, here, look.
- Great, Andréa. Awesome.

- Everything OK?
- No!

It's child abduction what you did.

- What?
- That's right!

No. Come on… Hey, relax,

breathe. Everything's fine.

You're totally on edge. Breathe.

Whose fault is that?

Well, Colette's.

Look, we're chill.

We're relaxed.

Not you. Look. That's you!

Princess Chubby-cheeks.

A car's waiting for you

with the manager unit inside.

You're going to get in.
I'm going to come with you.

- You hear?
- Yes.

I have something to sort out.

What do you mean? No.

What about the co-parenting?

Well… Let's just keep it up.

You take care of the little kids,
who love you,

and I take care of the big kid. OK?

- Great, thanks, "Capu."
- OK…

José. Let's go.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Here, look, careful, because…

She's kind of holding her breath.
I think she's constipated.

- OK.
- All right?

Great.

- OK, bye.
- Yeah.

Feet lined up with the hips.
Inhale and hold your breath, and out.

Inhale, hold, and breathe.

OK, I get it.

Wait, I'm doing it for me.

- Alex, you're up.
- OK.

- Are you cuing her in?
- No.

- Yes!
- Yes or no?

- Yes!
- Let's go kiddos.

- OK.
- Time to go. Chop-chop.

Hello! Alex, is it?

- Yes.
- You can put your things here.

You've a good agent, Alex.
He insisted on giving you another chance.

Hervé. I'm her agent.

I'm a great admirer of your work,
Mrs. Donzelli.

Please, call me Valérie.
I'm not Nicole Garcia.

I'd like to be, but…

Are we good? Ready?

- OK, yes.
- All right?

- Victoria?
- Rolling.

Whenever you're ready.

I'm not going.

You're not going?

We have to go, mom will be home soon.

So? Maybe we should see mom first if we...

Stop! No. It's not right.

- Great. I knew it.
- No, it's not you.

It's the scene. I saw it all day,

I can't stand it anymore.

Let's do an improv.

- I don't know how.
- There's nothing to do.

Go along with whatever comes to you,
whenever it comes to you.

Just let yourself go, improvise. OK?

Hervé will start you off.

Hervé, you're going to surprise her.

You pin her down to the ground. OK?

Let's give it a try.
You'll be fine. Ready?

Are we good?

- Rolling.
- Action!

I'm so happy. It's beautiful!

It was…

insane! It was intense!

Wow. I want to do it again.

I want to do it my whole life.

I want you to do it your whole life
as well.

Thanks.

Thanks for being so annoying, so twisted.

It's my job.

Can we be as quick on the next?

- Andréa.
- How's it going?

- José is in great shape!
- Yes.

In great shape.

For outside scenes…

Are you going to meet him tonight?

Indeed,
treading carefully isn't your thing.

I'm not going to let up.

So, are you?

What is it to you?

Do you also take 10% on his sex life?

No, but I have to be involved
in his heart matters.

You make him happy and that's wonderful.
I love seeing José walking on air.

But when he falls,
I'm the one picking him up.

And the higher the soar,
the harder the fall.

And now he's soaring very high.
Up in space.

Yes, I understand.

But José's a big boy.

We talked, and I was very clear.

It's light.

There's no hassle.

He's not playing.

A man in love will be waiting for you
in that hotel.

So if you're not going,

let him know. All right?

Everyone get into position!

Is everybody ready?

The lamb looks perfect.

Mathias…

- Do you think his wife will like me?
- No doubt.

And Catherine?

She'd have served lamb?

Catherine is Catherine.

You're you. Stop comparing yourself.

It's you I love.

Everything will be fine.

So…

tell me, what are her areas of interest?

- She's very pro-environment.
- Yes…

Endangered species,

in slaughterhouse cruelty,
that kind of thing.

Hold on, you're telling me now?

What are you doing?

I can't serve her
the corpse of a dead animal!

But it's a 100-euro corpse!

Honestly, well done, Mathias.

What are we going to eat now?

I don't know. I'll make more vegetables.
And some extra rice.

And we'll serve a lot of wine. There.

Hold on, I have to catch up.

- What are the endangered species?
- What a waste.

Oh, my God.

Rhinos,
are there any left or is that over?

How should I know?

Hi, good evening.

- Good evening!
- Come in.

- Come on, Romeo.
- How about that!

Yes, sorry, I didn't warn you. Here.

Oh, wonderful.

- How do you?
- Hi! I'm Claire.

- Noémie.
- You don't have a cat, do you?

- Otherwise we'd have had to lock it up.
- Oh my.

What a gorgeous lining.

Oh, thank you.

The colors remind me
of the Chinese giant salamander.

The what?

You know,

the endangered species?

Similar in this respect
to the rock-wallaby, I'm afraid.

Oh no, I don't know much about animals.
So I…

I'm sorry.

It doesn't get any quieter than this.

I meant to apologize

about yesterday.

I feel bad about being so tactless.

What about yesterday?

When you called, I got all tied up,

and you must have got the wrong idea but...

No, I was having lunch with Igor.

You must have had Béatrice on the phone.

- Béatrice?
- Yes, Igor's wife.

I could feel it. Claire. Come see.

- It's beautiful.
- Look how they're all settled in.

You knew it wasn't his wife!

That's why I kept signaling to you.

But that doesn't mean anything!

Or perhaps:
"Yoo-hoo, I'm having a stroke!"

I'm sure we'll spend a great evening.

Claire seems charming.

For you, a great evening,
is when the producer

shows up with his mistress?
Where is the respect in that?

We're in no position
to lecture people about adultery.

But that was totally different.

You and I,
we pummeled our breasts with grief.

We cried in the bath while getting drunk.

We were romantic.

Maybe I should do some networking,

meet people,

but I already have 15 actors, ten writers.

It's a lot of work.

Look, I'm very proud of you, honey,
but you need

to think of yourself.

Work is all very well, but still.

Don't forget to live,
otherwise what's the point?

For instance,
how many boyfriends do you have?

Mom, my head is elsewhere right now.

I'm not talking about your head.

- Mom!
- Well, what? Oh…

Anyway, if it's this recognition
of paternity business

that's bothering you,
you know what I think about it.

Not at all, I'm thinking about it is all.

Why are you against it now?
You dreamed about Mathias

acknowledging me, and now it's a bad idea?

Because it's too late!
He should have done it when we needed him.

It's easy

now that you have 15 actors, 20 writers.

Does he think that fatherhood means

signing a piece of paper
when you feel like it?

I am the one who did all the work
for the past 27 years.

That's not the issue. And besides,

don't worry,
I'm not going to change my last name.

I'd never even considered that.

Here we are!

A delicious leg of lamb.

- Claire, would you like some?
- With pleasure.

We weren't going vegetarian?

You don't always get what you expect.

Life is full of surprises, isn't it, Igor?

I can't eat lamb.

- Oh.
- No.

It's not true.

No, of course not.

You're sure?

Yes. It was a bad joke.

- OK.
- I love it. I'm drooling already.

- Should I serve you a big slice?
- Yes.

- All right.
- Thank you.

We said we wouldn't talk shop,

but I have some news
about the Beauvois film.

- Mathias? Lamb?
- No, thanks.

Just the first slice.

Auteuil read it.

He has some serious reservations.

And I am globally on the same side.

We can discuss it,

but I promised Xavier
we wouldn't touch his script,

that's why he came to us.

What you told him is your business.
For me, it's long.

It's long, it's dark, it's…

Bloody. It's good.

It's good. This lamb is wonderful.

- Thank you.
- What do you put in the sauce?

- Sorry, I'm being overly familiar.
- No, no… Please.

It's a secret.

- Do you like it?
- Yes, delicious.

But the v*olence is central
to the project.

I mean…
It's the whole purpose of the movie.

Xavier was adamant about that.

I thought "too bloody"

was no longer a thing
since Game of Thrones. Right?

Claire, please.

Yes. Well, actually,
I too have read the script.

And I have some notes.

I'm not sure this is a good time.

Why not?

I work with you now, don't I?

I can carve the lamb, and read too.

- Noémie.
- Sure, why not?

I'm curious, if you'll allow it?

I agree with you, Igor. It's very violent.

- Yes, it is.
- But,

it's the intention of the director

to show in a realistic and powerful way

the very v*olence of the era.

Its very cruelty.

I believe that if you feel so strongly
about it, it means he pulled it off.

When you take a close look at the scenes,
their isn't that much v*olence.

- Well…
- It's not gratuitous.

It's subtly brought on
by the character of the people.

They suffer
from the restrictions imposed upon them,

one after another, and that sort
of v*olence is extraordinary.

- Preci...
- So, yes, they take up arms.

And what happens?
They're called barbarians.

The issue the film strives to address is:
who are the actual barbarians?

Where is the actual v*olence?

In outright anger?
Or in the dirty little tricks?

In casual dishonesty?
In disregard and in the unrelenting

abandonment of the idea
of the common good?

I am reminded of Brecht
who told us in his day:

we often talk about
the v*olence of the river,

yet we never mention
the v*olence of the banks that contain it.

Right? I mean… I'm sorry, but…

It's been a long time
since I've been so impressed

by someone I so strongly disagree with.

You went to the Macaigne audition?

- Yes. It went pretty good.
- Beer?

No, thanks.

Yeah. I got a callback.

That's great.

- Here.
- I'm happy about it.

But I don't know. I mean…

I think I'd like to play in a turkey.

- Really?
- Yeah.

My agent advised me against it.

Well, it is a bit weird, isn't it?

No. When you think about it, today's
turkeys are tomorrow's masterpieces.

Hey.

Hey.

- Hello.
- Oh, hi.

It's great to see you,
Sofia didn't tell us you were coming.

Actually, I live here.

Oh, OK.

- I'm coming from work.
- All right.

Right, I have work to do.

Have fun.

- See you.
- Bye!

Bye.

You live with your agent?

Well, yeah.

No, hang on. Rule # 1:
your agent is your agent.

Not your pal.

Not your boyfriend. Not your roommate.

She's your agent.

Yeah, OK, but she's my friend first.

But then it's weird.

I can't talk about my agent now
because of your agent.

Should we go out for a drink?

- Definitely.
- Yeah. So…

- Come on, Sofia, let's go have a drink.
- Let's.

Come on, let's go.

Does she also take 10% on the rent?

All right, cut it out.

Hello, my...

Agent.

"My agent."

It starts the same.

- Come in.
- I'm sorry.

So…

Is there room service?

Any news from Colette?

I messed up, I let her leave.

We were destined to spend
this evening together, indeed.

It looks like it.

She cheated on me but I'm not mad because…

I was the one who cheated her,
in some way.

It's crazy.

I can run across Paris
for an actress with a broken heel,

but when my wife asks me to be home

to have dinner with her and my daughter,
I can't do it.

I'd do anything for my actors,
but not for my family.

It should be the other way around.

Maybe my brain is wired wrong.

Andréa.

José.

Your hand.

You know what? Let's make a deal.

OK? We're going to change.

We're going to get our lives together
so that it doesn't happen again. OK?

So, I…

I promise to stop making rash decisions.
I'll stop, and think twice.

Otherwise I'll put myself in danger
and you won't be there to bail me out.

And you?

I promise to...

The profiteroles.

- Profiteroles?
- Yeah.

It was the last rash decision.

What? It was an emergency.

Come.

I'm going down to the lobby.
I have a problem with my card.

Just put it on the hotel bill.

Huh? José?

Now, wait, hold on.
We can find a solution.

Yes, well here!

I just found it.

You're out! You don't hire a stranger
to look after the babies

then leave Capucine with the children.
I won't stand for it. Now, go!

Hey, come on!
José Garcia isn't really a stranger.

And Capucine did great with the kids.

They love her. Right, Capu?

- Yes.
- There.

Stupid bitch.

That's her name, "Mrs. Stupid-bitch."

Good, I have everything I need.

Thank you.

- Hey.
- Hi, Andréa.

Signing the kid up for auditions?

They threw us out of daycare.

Hello! Antoine, did you get my contracts?

Here. Oh, wait, Sofia left this for you.

She told me that she lost 1 of the 2

and that it'd be nice
if you could sort it out with Tiffany's.

What…

Hi, Camille.

You wanted to see me?

Yes. Hervé, shut the door, please?

Valérie, we're listening.

- Hello, Hervé!
- Hi, Valérie.

How are you?

I'm well.

I have some good news.

You picked my Alex!

Oh, no. I'm sorry. I still haven't found

Lucie, but I did find her brother.

Why are you telling me this?

Well, because… Because it's you.

Only you can play this part.

I thought you were wonderful
at the audition.

Really. You really moved me.

Let's get together, talk about it.

Elise, can you call me back
when you've fixed up a date?

- I am on it.
- Great, thanks.

Hervé, see you soon.

- See you, Valérie.
- I'm so happy.

I didn't know you wanted to be actor.

Neither did I.

Lots of people started off that way.

They went along with someone
to an audition.

In the end, they got the part.

You think you'll say yes?

I know you will.

Well, look, I don't know.

It's just that I can't see myself
telling Gabriel. I mean…

Well, no one is making you.

For my part,

I'm very good at keeping secrets.

Will you excuse me?
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