01x10 - Weird Science

[bunniefuu]

You want moves, Rose?
I'll give you moves.

SIMON". The nanogenes may be the science
of the very, very small,

but its implications are huge.

Welcome to the mad science world
of Doctor Who.

Everybody lives, Rose. just this once!

Everybody lives!

The Doctor's always been known
for his magic touch

but behind every trick,
there must be a scientific explanation.

Dr Constantine,
who never left his patients.

Listen, whatever was wrong
with them in the past,

you're probably gonna find
that they're cured.

Just tell them what a great doctor you
are, don't make a big thing of it. Okay?

Dr Constantine.

Mrs Harcourt!
How much better you're looking!

My leg's grown back.

NOW!

(DOCTOR LAUGHS)

The nanobots that we look at
in Doctor Who are medical ones.

So they're, kind of, part of the
hospital's medical kit, basically,

and they're designed to fix you up.

You know, if you've got a cut, they
swarm in, stitch you up, sort you out.

They activate
when the bulkhead's sealed.

Check you out for damage,
fix any physical flaws.

Idea of the nanogenes. I think
I'd half-read something somewhere

I don't remember very well, and certainly
didn't go back and look it up again,

because it's Doctor Who and really,

you're not making a documentary,
you're just making up something

that sounds vaguely credible
with roughly the right words.

Nanogenes, subatomic robots.
The air in here is full of them.

They just repaired
three layers of your skin.

Tell them thanks.

One of the fun things
about Doctor Who is that...

you take things that are happening now
and look at what they become in future.

And that whole nanotechnology thing,
they say,

you know, it is a real technology,
there is real research into it.

Even Prince Charles has told us
it will destroy the world.

Steven's script in episode
then sort of says,

“Look what happens
when nanotechnology runs riot.“

What is happening here, Doctor?

Human DNA is being rewritten.

- By an idiot.
- What do you mean?

Some kind of virus. Converting
human beings into these things.

But why? What's the point?

SIMO N: For cutting edge science
an Doctor Who,

see also "completely mad".

Apparently, you can fall out of the sky at
any time if Captain Jack Harknees to fancy you.

-JACK: Okay, I got you.
- Who's got me?

Who's got me and, you know, how?

I'm just programming
your descent pattern.

Stay as still as you can and keep your
hands and feet inside the light field.

Descent pattern?

And can you switch off
your mobile phone?

No, seriously,
it interferes with my instruments.

No one ever believes that.

Thank you, that's much better.

Yeah, that's a real load off, that is.

SIMON". Captain jack may have
his impressive technical gizmos

but the Doctor has got
his psychic paper. His what?

It's psychic paper,
it tells you what...

- Whatever you want it to, I remember.
- Sorry.

Not very Spock, is it?

Give me some Spock,
for once. Would it k*ll you?

The psychic paper the Doctor carries
around is a bit of nonsense, really.

You're too clever for me.

We were warned about this
in basic training.

It's a simple device, the psychic paper.
It's like a policeman showing his ID.

Look, there, you see, it's fine.
You see?

The Doctor plus one.

I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler.
She's my plus one. Is that all right?

Well, obviously.

I just wanted something that
sometimes would help him to say,

“Let me in, and they'd just let him in,
and you wouldn't question it.

SIMON". And what would he do
without his sonic screwdriver?

just need to do a bit of charging up.

You want villains to get in his way,
you want motives to get in his way,

you want great big chasms like on
Platform One to get in his way,

but you don't want a door to get in his way.
It's the most unimportant thing of all.

I think the design of it is fantastic.
And in a way, it is of the Tardis.

You know, if you look at that,

it's quite similar
to the central column of the Tardis

and it's of the Tardis.

Possibly has similar...

unlocked-for qualities.

We went through hundreds
of concept drawings

introducing various
finishes and colours.

But we soon ended up
with a very clinical design.

Porcelain base, cracked over the years.

And something that really was the
Doctor's tool that could do everything.

And it's kind of quite endearing
that he didn't make himself

a sonic atomic b*mb
or a sonic machine g*n.

He made himself a sonic screwdriver.

- Who has a sonic screwdriver?
- I do.

Lights?

Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks,
“Ooh, this could be a little more sonic?“

- What, you've never been bored?
- There's got to be a light switch.

Never had a long night?
Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

Once you've got that device,

I think you can actually have a bit of a laugh
with it and use it for all sorts of functions.

I mean, Steven Moffat
has it repairing barbed wire.

It opens doors, obviously.
It does medical scans on people.

Conclusions?

Massive head trauma,
mostly to the left side.

Partial collapse of the chest cavity,
mostly to the right.

I think all of that's fine

so long as the sonic screwdriver
never solves the plot in the end.

Okay. This can function
as a sonic blaster,

a sonic cannon and it's
a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor.

- Doc, what you got?
- I've got a sonic... Never mind.

Gizmos and gadgets and the Doctor
and Captain jack.

Well, that is all about sex. All of it.

It's about the Doctor and jack
competing over Rose.

Disruptor? Cannon? What?

It's sonic, totally sonic.
I am soniced up.

- A sonic what?
Screwdriver!

All those scenes are the Doctor being
threatened for the first time by another man

as far as Rose is concerned.

Maybe we should go find him.

- And how you going to do that?
- Easy. I'll do a scan for alien tech.

(DEVICE BEEPING)

Finally, a professional.

Obviously and, fairly quite overtly
really, the subtext of this show

is the Doctor is hopelessly in love
with Rose and trying to impress her.

And then a younger, better-looking guy
with a better g*n turns up

and he's so annoyed.

Come on, we're not done yet. Assets.

I've got a banana and, in a pinch,
you could put up some shelves.

- Window?
- Barred. Sheer drop. Seven storeys.

And no other exits.

The assets conversation went
in a flash, didn't it?

- Where'd you pick this one up, then?
- Doctor.

She was hanging from a barrage balloon,
I had an invisible spaceship.

I never stood a chance.

The thing I absolutely hate

that we've more or less eradicated from
the scripts is all that techno babble.

With a little bit of jiggery-pokery...

Is that a technical term,
jiggery-pokery?

Yeah, I came first in jiggery-pokery.
What about you?

No. I failed hullabaloo.

There's a certain amount of fun
you can have

when you do allow a little bit of techno babble
in which, really, I only tend to do for a joke.

I think in episode there's the nurse

who puts nanotermites in the lining of
Adam's throat to stop him throwing up.

I'm going to be sick.

(RETCHING)

Special offer.

We installed the Vomitomatic
at the same time.

Nanotermites have been placed
in the lining of your throat.

In the event of sickness...

they freeze the waste.

SIMON". Yuck.

From nanotermites to nanogenes
and a night-sh**t on Barry Island.

You see?just an ambulance.

That's an ambulance?

It's hard to explain.
It's from another world.

I'd say I've learnt my lesson.
It's like, never do a two-parter

set in the Blitz at night in a blackout
and film it in January.

Everybody lives!

That's great.

This is the big day in Barry.
There are three cameras on the setup

and there are zombie extras,
and there's a big crew.

It's one of the bigger days
on the Doctor Who production.

The script had to be at night,
it had to be in the Blitz.

There was no choice, really.

It was that railway station
where the b*mb is found,

the cylinder, the Chula cylinder,
is found in episode .

It was a little hard to sh**t
the whole thing.

All I'm getting for this...

To suggest that the bombers
are getting very close,

we're about to have two explosions

as if two bombs have been dropped
from a German plane.

Stand by, please. Let's do it.

So we've got a special effects team
rigging two large explosions

with the zombies walking forward.

- Action.
- Go one.

Go two.

Just hope that all the effort shows up
on camera.

Doctor, that b*mb, we've got seconds.

Jack?

How old were you five years ago? ? ?

Old enough to give birth, anyway.

He's not your brother, is he?

He comes round here and he stands there
and starts to do this.

Over his shoulder, you'll start to see
all this fairy dust happening.

One of the beats of the story
in these episodes are nanogenes.

Now to create that,
there are interactive effects,

which means we've got on-set lights

to suggest that these glowing creatures
have just arrived.

I am your mummy.
I will always be your mummy.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

We had to be very clear and very precise
at what points they were gonna swarm in

so that we could, kind of,
pop a light on.

Then the Mill have to kind of...

I believe it's a particle-generating
computer programme

so it kind of makes particles that move.

Come on, you clever little nanogenes.
Figure it out.

Then once the CGI is in, it looks like
the light's coming from them

and vanishes at a certain point.

See?

Recognising the same DNA.

Come on. Give me a day like this.

Give me this one.

Welcome back! years
to pop music, you're gonna love it.

And cut.

People are interested in the story of
Doctor Who, the characters, the adventure.

They're never really interested
in the science.

As a show,
it's not hard science fiction.

Welcome to the Tardis.

- Much bigger on the inside.
- You'd better be.

Frankly, that's not Doctor Who's
territory, and never can be,

because the whole concept of the piece
is about a man

who travels in a box
which is bigger inside than out

and travels in time and space.

- Rose! I've just remembered!
- What?

I can dance.

(IN THE MOOD BY THE GLENN MILLER BAND)

SIMON". And they all lived happily ever after.
Thanks to the mad science of Doctor Who.