02x02 & 02x03 - The Colossus/The Knights

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[dog barking]

[Gumball] Everything has to be perfect!

[panting]

I can't believe what I'm seeing!
It's still blocked!

I'm trying!

-Everything has to be perfect!
-I know! I know!

-[Gumball] Now paint the house!
-[grunting]

Darwin! Where are the cookies?

-They're not cooked yet!
-Well, cook them faster!

[groans]

Dad! You've got cookie dough
all over yourself!

-Go take a shower!
-Again?

[moans]

Mom! Why is the garbage still here?
Do I have to do everything myself?

-The car's coming!
-[gasps and shrieks]

[gags]

-[Gumball] Get out!
-[screaming]

And why are there tires in the bath?

You told me to wash every part of the car.

[grunting]

[straining] Come on! Come on! Come on!

[shrieks in frustration]

[sighs]

[gagging]

Look, Penny, I know you like this kid,

but are you sure there isn't a better
partner for your Medieval assignment?

I don't like this part of town.

Dad, we've been through this,
and you said you would trust my judgment.

I know. I'm sorry, sweetie.

I'm sure Gumball and his family
are lovely people.

[both gasp]

[Anais] Gumball, she's here!

Hi!

Whoa!

[chuckles]

[humming]

Hi!

[groans]

Oh! Hi!

-Hello!
-[garbled] Hello!

Welcome to the Wattersons' house!

Wait, Penny! No!

Wait, Penny!

Penny, come back!

It's a no.

[Gumball screaming]

Penny, no!

[school bell ringing]

[Idaho] Tobias, you're taking this
Medieval assignment way too seriously.

Are they your mama's stilettos?

This, you rustic troglodyte,

will allow me to attract fair Penny
to be my study partner.

[gasps] Good morrow, fair maid.

-Nice tights.
-Why, thank you.

I think that was irony.

-No, it wasn't.
-[Penny] Yes, it was.

Hey, Gumball.

I just wanted to say sorry
about last night.

Last night? What happened?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

You were gonna come around
to work on our Medieval assignment,

but you didn't. I'm--
I didn't even notice.

-I was so busy.
-Really?

But my dad said you were calling
our house till like : in the morning.

[scoffs]

That could have been anyone.

No one picked up the phone, so there was
no way you could know it was me.

[whispering] Listen.
I can't really talk right now.

-[handbrakes engaging]
-Why?

Are you trying to throw away
your thumb or something?

No, it's my dad.

He doesn't really want us
hanging out together.

He wants me to find a different partner
for this Medieval Project.

He's not really...

See you later.

Hi, Mr. Fitzgerald.

[Penny sighs]

I think we got off
on the wrong foot yesterday.

If you only got to--

Oh, wow. These things just pop right off,
don't they?

I'll just put that back on here.

[nervous chuckle]

L-let me just-- Try this a bit.

Maybe just a little...

[groans]

Well, at least we know it works.

Watterson, stay away from my car.

And stay away from my daughter.

-Can I say something here?
-No!

But--

Don't worry.
You'll pass that Medieval assignment.

You know the whole book by heart.

But I-- I learned it all for her.

Well, that was a waste of time.
Her dad hates you.

Oh, come on. I'm not that bad.

[grunts] Then-- then I shall prove myself
to him!

[laughing]

So the simple knave intends
to take the hand of fair Penny.

Well, they haven't counted upon...

Sir Tobias of Elmore...

Who's watched all the movies
made in Medieval times.

You may have the lady's eyes
right now, but mark my words,

beef-witted peasant,
before the day is out,

the damsel will be mine.

[cackles]

Oh.

Hey, guys, you weren't listening!

I was explaining everything!

Guys!

[doorbell ringing]

[grunts]

Hi, Mr. Fitzgerald.

I made you a mix tape and a cake.

See? I'm not that bad.

[panting]

[panting] Oh!

Mr. Fitzgerald.

What a surprise.
We must jog the same route.

Yeah, you look really sweaty.

-Here, let me help you.
-What the-- What are you--

Just get away from me!

Mr. Fitzgerald!

I just wanted to say...

I'm not that bad! [thuds]

So, there were two muffins in this oven.

The first muffin says,
"Good grief, it's hot in here."

And the second muffin says,
"Good grief, a talking muffin!"

[all laughing]

[Gumball laughing]

That reminds me of one time
when me and Mr. Fitzgerald were...

Oh.

We were...

[sighs] We never hang out.

Hmm. "Watterson and Fitzgerald
Co-friendship Unlimited"?

-What the--
-[crash]

[grunts]

[doorbell ringing]

♪ I want to study with your daughter ♪

♪ I know you don't think that I oughta ♪

♪ I'm not that bad I'm pretty friendly ♪

♪ I think that you should b-- ♪

I don't care.

You are not good enough for my daughter,
and I don't want you around her.

End of story.

♪ So why don't you give me one more-- ♪

-[doorbell rings]
-[grunts]

I am Sir Tobias of Elmore,

and I'm here to claim
your daughter's hand.

[screams] Please, sir.

Releaseth my foot.

Let not this door stand
in the way of true love.

Just at least open it a little bit
so I can get my foot out.

[door locks]

OK. I'll squeeze it out myself.

[grunts] It's really hard because my toes
are swollen now!

Hi-ya!

Ow.

Ooh.

Hey, Penny, what is it with you
and boys these days?

Penny?

Penny?

[sighs and gasps]

Penny!

I thought your dad didn't want you
to come over!

Exactly. That's why I asked my mom.

Cool! D-do you still want to study?

Because I know that Medieval
stuff off by--

Have at you, you cantankerous oaf!

Tobias?

-I demand satisfaction.
-For what?

For stealing the hand of my promised.

What the heck do you want, dude?

I demand... a duel.

[sighs] I don't want to duel.

Leave us alone. I'm not doing this.

If I do this, you're gonna leave
us alone, right?

[laughing] Only if you win!

If you lose, Lady Penny is mine!

[Penny] No, I'm not.

Yeah, did you consider Penny's feelings
in any of this?

-In time, she will learn to love me.
-[Penny] No, I won't.

[sighs]

[imitates horse neighing]

[imitates horse hooving]

Let the joust commence!

[both screaming]

[grunts]

A worthy foe!

But how are you at hand-to-hand combat?

En garde!

You're a complete nutcase, man!

I don't want to fight you anymore!

Then victory is mine!

And I shall take the hand of my lady.

-Never!
-[screams]

Oh, sorry.

Oh, are you OK?

-Hmm. Aah!
-Hey!

[hisses]

[both grunting]

Dance for me, jester! Dance!

[gasps]

Faster, jester! Faster!

[Gumball] [laughing] Thanks, Penny!

Tobias, stop it!

I'll stop in exchange for a kiss!

No!

-Sorry!
-[Penny] It's OK.

[screams]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

[sighs] OK, go.

That's better.

Penny! Penny!

-What?
-Can you throw me my sword?

You mean your broom?

Yes.

Come on. Can we just do the assignment
now, please?

Yeah, just give me a second.

I think he's getting tired.

Ah. She better not be around here.

I hate this lousy neighborhood.

Penny! Get back!

You're gonna get hurt!

I wouldn't have to help
if you weren't losing.

I'm not losing.

I'm just catching my breath.

Step aside, woman!

[grunts]

That little punk again.

Penny!

[both gasp]

No!

[tires screeching]

[crash]

[hubcap rattling]

OK, you win. Bye.

[gasps] Dad!

Are you kids OK?

We're fine.

Thank you so much, Gumball.

You-- You saved my little girl's life.

I can't believe I took you
and your family for such a bunch--

[Richard] What is going on here?

Nicole, get out here!

This clown nearly ran over our kid!

-What?
-It's not what it looks like.

-I don't want you near my family...
-Please.

ever again.

Here. Let me just pay you.

I don't want your money!
You come around here...

[Wattersons clamoring]

[inaudible]

[Gumball] So, Darwin, what do you think?

Duck face or ab sh*t?

But we don't have any abs.

Which is why they invented Shotofop.

And upload.

[Darwin] So what's next?

Check our friend requests.

[computer buzzes]

What the what? Rejected?

What was all that "what" about?

We got rejected by Hector, the guy
whose only online friend is his mom.

-What the what?
-I think he owes us an explanation.

Hector!

Hector!

Hector!

Hector!

-Hector! Hector! Hector!
-[Hector's mom] What do you want?

-Uh, who are you?
-I'm Hector's mom.

-What?
-Nothing.

It's just Hector's so...

And you're so...

And you're-- You're a bit...

Actually, you're more like...

Anyway, is Hector in?

[Hector] Mom, who is it?

Nothing to worry about, honey!

[grunts]

In the absence of a door I can slam,
I'm gonna do this.

-Can we at least talk to him?
-Door.

But we just want to
be his friend on Elmore Plus.

My baby doesn't need friends like you!

-Spoke through the door.
-Get off my property!

[groans]

[Gumball] Come on, Hector!

At least talk to us!

Just accept our friend request.

It's just if we have more
friends online...

it makes us feel better about
not having any in real life.

Oh, forget it!

You're boring, anyway.

[Hector] What?

Boring?

Darwin, do you think I'm boring?

I wouldn't say "boring."

You're just much, much, much,
much, much, much, much, much,

less interesting than anyone else I know.

Yeah.

-But I do loads of cool stuff.
-Like what?

Well, this is my bedroom.

[Gumball]
Are you sure your mom's not here?

It's not that I find her witch face
creepy or anything,

it's just that I really don't want her
to jump out on me.

[screams] What's that?

[Hector] That's my hamster, Barney.

Dude.

I think that Barney's...

[Hector] Hibernating.

At least that's what my mom says.

Yeah. Hibernating.

Dude! He's got comics!

[exclaiming]

You've got issue one of Captain Punch?

That's a collector's item!

I take back everything I said.

You're so not boring!

This comic's so extreme, my Mom
won't even let my Dad read it!

[narrator] "No matter how much it rains,
this city always smells lovely."

What's this?

Looks like three ski enthusiasts
have just withdrawn their

hard-earned wages from the bank.

Better get down there... safely."

Not so fast, gentlemen!

What a pleasant surprise.

It's Captain Punch.

-Hey!
-Hey!

[laughs]

Take this! Nice bunch of flowers!

Is there something on my shoe?

Just some bubble gum.

Let me wash it off for you.

I'm gonna take you guys down

to a nice restaurant for a Swiss fondue.

My treat!

Dude, who drew all over your comic?

[Hector] That's how it was when my mom
gave it to me.

It's pretty cool, huh?

I... think we're gonna go home now.

No, no. Wait. Let me tell you some jokes.

Me and my mom do that all the time.

[sighs]

Fine.

[Hector] Why did the chicken
cross the road?

For a perfectly legitimate reason.
[chuckles]

Dude, that's not a joke.
That's a sentence.

-[music box plays]
-[Hector yawns]

Bed time.

[snoring]

Hmm. Hector's diary.

"I must not laugh.
I must not get over-excited.

I must not shout. I must not sneeze."

This looks like a how-to guide
to ruining your life.

-Who makes him write all this stuff?
-I think I have an idea.

Who?

[grunting]

-I think he means me.
-[gasps]

I knew she'd creep up on me!

What are you doing in my son's bedroom?

What are you doing
taking the fun out of his life?

I think you're being a little presumptuous
telling me how to raise my son!

Well, you know what else is presumptuous?

Your face!

You don't know what
presumptuous means, do you?

-Yeah.
-Just get out.

OK.

Bet you she is a witch.

I think you've been
insulting enough for today.

[school bell ringing]

Do you think Hector knows
what his mom is doing to him?

I don't really think
it's any of our business.

None of our business?

She's the reason we've got no friends
on Elmore Plus!

No, that's it. I'm going to speak to him.

Hector, I've been thinking.

It's not your fault you're boring.

You got a bit of
turkey sandwich just there.

[screams]

Look, it's your mom's fault you're boring.

She's too strict, man.

You go tell her
to give you some real comics,

some real movies, and a real live hamst--

[Hector] Well, she does those things
because that's what's best for me.

Best for you?

Best for you?

Is it best you don't laugh?

Is it best you don't cry?

Is it best you don't sneeze?

Is there a heart in that chest
of yours, Hector?

'Cause if there is, let it b*at, man!

Let it b*at!

That's his toe.

I know.

So, are you going to stand up
to her or not?

[Hector] Yes... I... am!

Good!

[Hector] No, you listen. Everyone thinks
I'm boring, and I'm fed up with it!

I'll show them I'm not!

Calm down, honey!

Try your breathing technique!

[Hector] That's boring, too!

What have you done to my son?

Improved his life.

What's the one thing you know
about giants?

-That they're big?
-Yes, and so are their emotions.

I wasn't making his life boring.

I was making his life calm.

You have to keep giants calm!

Why?

Because if you don't, then that happens!

Is this boring? Or is this?

You think this is boring?

Call me boring now!

Is this boring?

Close the window, Margaret.

Freeze! Police!

Well, um, I think I'll call it a day.

I'm not boring!

What did he say?

Gumball, what do we do?

We have to stop him.

I got it!

We'll just fly after him
using one of your witch brooms.

[grunts]

That's a normal broomstick.
I'm a cleaning lady.

Oh!

The witchy ones are over there.

I knew it.

I'm not boring!

How you doing?

Pretty good.

Woah! What the--

-Do we really have to be this high?
-Yes!

We need to be close to his head so
he'll hear the music box and fall asleep.

[Hector] I'm not boring!

I'm not boring! [grunts]

Mrs. Jungheim, for the record,
before we go on I'd like to apologize.

Nah. Don't sweat it, kid.
Now I'll try to calm him down.

You take the music box.

Here!

Ah. Just go get it.

We'll lead him somewhere safer.

OK, how do you stop this thing?

[grunts] Ah-ha!

[screams]

[grunts]

[screams]

[straining]

[groaning]

[chuckles]

[screams]

[effort grunts]

[screams]

[squeaks]

[grunts]

-[chuckles]
-[thumps]

[screams]

Oh.

-Hey, Gumball.
-Darwin, get me to that ear!

Hey, Gumball, we're too heavy.

You're going to have to jump!

Jump?

But-- Can't you just get
a little bit higher?

Why?

-Just get on with it.
- [sighs] Fine!

[grunts]

Follow me, sweetie!

Wait for me, Mom.

[Gumball grunts]

What's with the smug face?

Nothing, but I think there might be
a lesson in all this.

You know, next time you want to judge
other people's life choices,

maybe you should take a long,
hard look at your own.

Well, maybe you should take a long,
hard look at that duck.

Duck?

[Hector] Get out of my way!

Hurry up, kid.

-I'll try and lead him to the stadium!
-[Gumball grunts]

[Hector] Mom. Wait for me, Mom! Wait!

Dagnabit!

-Whistle it!
-What?

Whistle the tune in his ear!

OK.

[whistling lullaby]

[Hector yawns]

Hector, ah. I'm sorry
for calling you boring.

[Hector] I'm not sure all this excitement
suits me, or anyone else.

I think I'll just go back to being boring.

You're not boring, dude.

You're nuts.

[Hector snores]

You OK, kid?

Yeah, we're good.

Great. I'll take care of him from here.

[computer beeps]

We got a friend request!

Who is it?

Oh, man, it's from Hector.

What shall we do?

If we say yes, he'll get excited
and trash the town.

If we say no, he'll get sad
and trash the town.

Don't worry. I know exactly what to do.

[theme music playing]