02x11 & 02x12 - The Apology/The Words

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Sussie] Look sun! Look house!
Look road! Look ball!

Look door! Look cloud! Look bird!

You're not looking!
Bird! Bird! Bird! Bird! Bird!

Bird! Bird! Bird!

It's a d...

-[sighs]
-[shouts]

Red! Red! Red! Red! Red! Red!

Green!

-[sighs]
-[grunting]

Dude, I need you to grab
the emergency hammer.

I'm not breaking a window.

No, I need you to knock me out.

How about you just ask Sussie
to calm down a little?

Uh...

I can't.

-What-- You're embarrassed, aren't you?
-[game beeps]

Just use the hammer.

[laughs] Darwin Watterson, the fish
who grew legs at the expense of his gut.

-Shut up!
-[Sussie] Hey, Darwin!

Which noise to do you prefer?

[shouting indistinctly]

Or... [chittering loudly]

Excuse me, Sussie, but can you be
a little bit quieter, please?

Certainly, young Gumball,
I'd be more than happy to oblige.

Thank you.

-What was that?
-That was me taking my hat off to you.

Hats.

I still don't understand
how you can be so direct with people.

Oh, it's really hard.
You have to think the words,

then move your lips at the same time
so it makes the right sound.

Teach me.

What?

Uh, uh...

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[indistinct grumbling]

Hmph!

That whole argument I just won
only went on in my head, didn't it?

Well, nothing happened in reality,
so I'm gonna have to say yes.

What's that now?

That's me b*ating myself
for being such a doormat.

If you want me to teach you
how to be direct, I can,

but you have to promise to do
exactly as I say, no questions asked.

I promise.

I want you to walk like a dog
with an itchy butt.

I shouldn't have promised.

[whistle blows]

Hi, guys.

I think I actually understand
the purpose of this exercise.

You're ridding me of my inhibitions
by destroying the little dignity I have.

No, dude. I was just messing with you.

What?

Was it really... necessary...
to take me over... the... sandbox?

I'm sorry. Oh, just tell me
who you want to be direct with,

and I'll show you how it's done.

Calm down, honey.
You're being over-grammatic.

This guy's too shellfish, and he's being,
like, a total control greed.

[line disconnects]

Do you mind?
I was in the middle of a condensation.

Well, I see what you mean now.

Come on, tell him how annoying he is.

[exhales] OK.

You know, Leslie, when you try and sound
intelligent sometimes, you just...

[choking]

You just...

Come on, man, speak your mind!

You're so bottled up,
you're choking on your own frustration!

[choking]

Say... what... you... mean!

[distorted] When you try and sound smart
and mix up your words,

you sound like
a foo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-l!

I...

I don't know what to say.

Thank you. Thank you for telling me.
I'll be forever graceful for your honesty.

It-- It's "grateful."

Yes. I'll be forever grapefruit
[chuckles] for your honesty.

-[keyboard clacking]
-[laughs]

What?

Tobias just posted at a photo.
I'll send it over.

[ping]

Oh, for goodness sake!

This is another thing that bugs me!
He's always pulling that stupid pose!

It's so annoying!

Well, it's not really that annoying.
It's just photos, buddy.

It's not, though, is it?
It's all the time!

Dude, FYI, you look totally lame
when you pull that pose!

What does it even mean?

It's chunking the deuce, man.

And what does that mean?

[gasps]

I don't understand.

For my whole walking life,
I've had to keep my mouth shut,

having to deal
with everyone's annoying, little habits,

but now I can say what I like.

♪ I feel like-- ♪

Dude, what are you doing?

♪ I feel like ♪

♪ Ever since I was a young fish
I always held my tongue ♪

♪ Never spoke the words I felt inside
And now my time has come ♪

♪ I pushed my feelings deep, deep down
Now I'll tell the world ♪

♪ Exactly what I think and feel
About every boy and girl ♪

♪ Every boy and girl ♪

♪ He's gonna tell us
What he thinks about us ♪

♪ Gonna tell us what to do ♪

♪ He's gonna tell us
What he thinks about us ♪

♪ Gonna show us something new ♪

Stop!

♪ Masami's popular and funny ♪

♪ But your friends just like you
For your money ♪

♪ We only like you for your money! ♪

♪ Jamie's rude and impolite
Because she's half-cow half-troglodyte ♪

♪ She's half-cow half-troglodyte! ♪

♪ Carrie thinks her style's unique
But she's just one more emo freak ♪

♪ She's just one more emo freak ♪

♪ Joe, your jokes are lame and lazy ♪

♪ And you sing
Just like a dog with rabies! ♪

[Banana Joe crying]

Where do people go
when they run away crying like that?

Uh... [chuckles]

I feel a bit silly now.

[Darwin] Just stop it, all right?

[Teri] Well, what does it matter to you?

You do know that there are more germs
on an average door handle

than there are on a toilet seat.

Well, if that's the case, why don't
we all open doors with our butts?

[grunting]

Almost got it.

-Darwin, what are you doing?
-Just proving a point.

[shouts]

Principal Brown,
Darwin is being recklessly unhygienic,

and it's giving me ulcers! See?

Oh, my gosh, your hand--
It's covered in germs!

What? Where?

There.

Neeeee, aah! [crying]

Darwin Watterson,
this is not like you at all!

I can only assume that Gumball
has something to do with it.

I've got nothing to do with it at all!

Nothing?

Well, maybe I kind of set him off.

That's all I needed to know.

Both of you to the school counselor
immediately.

[veena strums]

[Small]
As much as I think it's important for you

to be able to express yourselves freely,

I don't think comments about
my ponytail are appropriate.

The back of my head does not
look like a horse's buttocks!

I swear, I'm trying my best, Mr. Small,
but I just can't stop myself from saying--

I'm tired of staring
at your hideous, hairy man toes!

Oh. [clears throat]

Interesting.

I want to try something.

What do you see
when I show you this ink blot?

A very sad,
middle-aged man wearing sandals.

[inhales deeply]

I think I have the right treatment
for your problem.

[breathing heavily]

[scraping]

[slurps]

I'm impressed with
how you're managing all this, buddy.

I thought for sure you'd-- [gasps]

[grunting]

[scraping continues]

[grunting continues]

[heart b*ating loudly]

Everyone get out of here!
He's gonna hurt your feelings real bad!

No, we need to listen to him!
He's just misunderstated.

[thud]

[breathing heavily]

Hey, chin bag, how about you learn to
breathe through your nostrils?

Oh, I'm sorry.

You don't have any!

Nostrils!

And how about you clip those stupid nails?

They're not gonna
make you any more feminine.

In case you haven't noticed,
you're a ten-ton sack of reptile flesh.

-[sobs]
-[Sussie whispers] Reptile flesh!

And as for you, the only thing worse
than hearing you slurp your coffee

is watching it stick
to your rancid lady mustache!

[Sussie whispers] Mustache!

[sobs]

Dude, I know I told you
to be direct and all,

but you're acting like a full-blown,
atomic jerk right now.

Can you just go back to being a nice guy?

Dude?

[deep voice] ♪ No more Mr. Nice Guy
I've found a new style ♪

♪ With claws and pointy teeth
And a venomous smile ♪

♪ Goodbye, goody-two-shoes
I'm no longer uptight ♪

♪ 'Cause now I'm a shark
And I'm ready to bite ♪

♪ And I'll say what I want
And the truth's gonna sting ♪

♪ I'll be brutal and blunt
It will hurt when I sing ♪

[evil laughter]

♪ So, look out, wor-- ♪

[slaps]

You and me outside now.

-[lightning strikes]
-[video-game music playing]

I don't want to do this, man,
but it's the only way!

You need to learn that words can hurt.

[announcer] Round ! Fight!

Your head is so big that
you have to put your shirt on feet first!

[grunts]

Big head! Big head! Big head!

-Stop it!
-Big head!

-That's cheating!
-Big head!

-You keep using the same move!
-Big head!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

[announcer] Darwin wins! Perfect!

Round ! Fight!

You're so ugly
that when you entered an ugly contest,

the judges said, "No professionals"!

You're so dumb,
you put stamps on your e-mails!

You're so short
that your head smells like feet!

Your brain's so small
that you thoughts have an echo!

Your cheeks are so big that people don't
know which end of you they're looking at!

[imitates g*nf*re] Ping!

-[imitates g*nf*re]
-Agh!

Your face is so greasy that people
put on weight when they look at you!

Agh!

Eh, it's not as good as I thought it'd be.

You're so bald that when you
take a shower, you get brainwashed!

You're so-- Uh, I got nothing!

Aah.

You're so chubby, the back of your head
looks like a pack of wieners.

Aah.

[laughs]

[announcer] Final round!

Wait a minute. Pause.

Darwin, I think this has gone far enough.

Surely you understand
what I'm trying to say to you.

It's good to speak your mind sometimes,
but--

Wha-- What are you doing?

[imitating g*nf*re]

Hey, you unpaused! That's cheating!

Big head! Big head! Big head! Big head!

OK, I didn't want to do this,
but you leave me no choice.

You are not my brother!

You are just a pet...

who grew legs!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

[announcer] Ultimate combo!

I'm sorry, you forced me to do this.

[sobbing]

Did you really mean that?

No!

I just wanted you back to normal!
It just came out!

It really hurt!

It really hurt me, too!

I never thought it before!
You're totally my brother!

Well, I think you made your point,

if that's how I made other people feel,
I don't want to do it anymore.

[sighs] It's good to have you back, buddy.

-You still have a big head, though.
-Well, at least mine's got hair on it.

[Sussie chittering loudly]

Now, pay attention!

This diagram reveals everything
you need to know.

-[all shout]
-What?

-No, nothing.
-Nothing, nothing. Carry on.

Hmm. Now we shall continue. This area is--

[all] Aah.

What?

This area is mostly composed of hot gases.

Never look at it directly
with your naked eye,

or you will burn your retinas.

This could lead to rash acts, nausea,
weight loss, malfunction, confusion,

or expl*si*n.

Oh. I can't take this anymore!

Every second I look at it
means another year of therapy!

[shouts] I-I got to tell her, man.

You can't talk to a teacher
about her tushy. It's too touchy.

Come on, you can't leave her like that.
It-- It's cruel.

OK, but we got to be subtle.

[Simian] ...often results in a black hole
that has the potential...

Psst! Miss Simian!

Huh?

You're nothing but a pair of disruptive,
disrespectful delinquents

from a dysfunctional dynasty
of degenerates and dimwits!

What have you got to say in your defense?

Uh-- [stammers] It was an accident, sir.
We were trying to tell her something.

Tell her what?

Uh, I-I...

I can't say it. It's too embarrassing.

For the last time, why did you throw
a paper plane In your teacher's face?

[whispers] It says it all on the paper.

"You do not know how much you show

but the wind doth blow
in the hills below."

Huh?

Speaking of which,
can anyone else feel that draft?

Maybe you should say something.

Yes, I suppose.

[whispering indistinctly]

[gasps]

You knew about this,
and you thought it was funny, didn't you?

You think this is funny?

Lucy, please, I think
you owe them an apology.

Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel!

These kids tried to
make a monkey out of me,

and you want me to apologize?

Uh... You kids are free to go.

[door opens, closes]

[shrieking]

[shrieking continues]

Hmm, there's one thing I don't understand.

Yeah, why did she go ape
when we just tried to help her?

No. Why do monkey have hair
all over their bodies

except for the ugly part
where they need it the most?

Have you noticed that Miss Simian's
been acting a little off lately?

Now that you mention it, she has been
keeping a particularly close eye on us.

Report card signed.

Oh, OK.

[laughing]

[laughter]

[laughter stops]

It's the most pathetic,
half-baked attempt at forgery

I've seen in my , years
as a teacher,

-and I taught during the Stone Age!
-[Richard gasps]

Forgeriers? My own flesh and blood
accused of forgerering?

-What does it mean?
-Faking your signature.

[gasps]

We need you to sign their suspension card.

-[sputters]
-Buh, buh, buh.

Mmm.

-[crying]
-Uh.

Listen, these kids are decent children.
There's nothing you can suspend them for.

They don't fight.
They respect school property.

They don't steal.

[both shouting]

Come on, pick it up and keep it
for yourselves, you thieving hoodlums!

-♪ We're rich! ♪
-♪ We're prosperous! ♪

-♪ We're opulent! ♪
-♪ We're flushed! ♪

-♪ We're gilded! ♪
-♪ We're wealthy! ♪

♪ We're-- ♪

Wait a minute. We need to
change our phone numbers and leave town.

Why?

[whispers] Because they're all
gonna want a piece of it.

-Who?
-[normal tone] Everyone!

Look at them all trying to get
their creepy hands on my money!

Gumball, you've changed.

No, I haven't! I'm just the same
but happier because I'm rich!

Look at yourself!

You're surrounded by all these riches,
and you're the loneliest man in the world!

[sobs]

You're-- You're right!

This money is evil!
I wish I'd never found it!

[thud]

Mmm.

Have you heard?
There's gonna be a big fight.

Why do you think I brought the popcorn?

Who do you think it'll be?

I don't know.

[gasps] Imagine if it's Tina and Bobert!

[roaring]

If I saw that, I would throw away my eyes

because nothing else in the world
would be worth watching anymore.

Really?

What about [sniffs] Alan versus William?

[Gumball] Yeah, I'd watch it,
but it'd be better if they were in a cage.

[Darwin] With spikes.

[Gumball] That was on fire.

Oh, I can't wait to see who it is!

[all chanting] Fight! Fight! Fight!

See, look at them,
about to fight like animals.

Why not focus your attention
on someone who really needs it?

Shush!

It's about to start.

[all] Fight! Fight! Fight!

-Dude, what are we doing?
-Stupid things because of peer pressure!

This would be better
with poisoned nunchucks.

You got to get us out of this!

OK, hold on, I got it.

People of Elmore, you came to see a fight,

and until a few seconds ago,
I was just like you!

But now, knowing
I'm the one supposed to get hit,

I've discovered something!

Fighting is wrong!

This is no way to settle a dispute
because, after all, what is more powerful?

This or this?

Lucy, what's wrong? Speak!

This isn't at all what I had planned!

Please don't tell me
you're the one who arranged this fight.

-[sighs] Not again.
-[shrieking]

[sighs]

[sighs]

I know we haven't spoken in a long time,
but I need your advice.

Is it really wrong to create
false evidence to frame some criminals

who you know for sure
are definitely, absolutely,

without a single shadow of a doubt guilty?

Well, I don't care what you say, Dad!
I'm doing it anyway!

[laughs evilly]

[humming]

Aha!

Let's see you get away with this one,
you little hooligans!

And I know for sure
that these two did the graffiti

because they were idiotic enough
to sign their names at the bottom of it!

Are you sure no one else could've done it?

Absolutely!

Miss Simian, wrongly accusing the boys
is one thing,

but openly framing them is another!

One more offense, and you are fired!

And you still owe these boys an apology.

It's fine, it's fine.

I'll apologize when fish start to walk.

[gasps]

If this really
is the kind of person you are,

then we seriously need to talk
about our relationship, as well.

[shrieking]

I saw that coming.
I glued everything to the floor.

[sobs]

[door opens, closes]

I got to be honest, Gumball.

I'm not entirely comfortable
committing a crime.

Look, it's not a crime
if you intend to get caught.

Unless we actually do something bad,

Simian's gonna blow a fuse
and lose her hairy boyfriend.

Do you really want that
on your conscience?

Good, then give me a leg up.

Now what am I supposed to do?

-[Gumball] Give yourself a leg up!
-Oh, of course.

[grunts]

[Nigel crying]

[grunting] Oh!

[bangs on the table]

[grunting]

Don't!

Ha ha.
This is gonna be easier than I thought.

[shrieking]

Oh. Why do I have to run
every eight minutes of my life?

Wait!

In the jungle when a gorilla charges,
you have to stare them to the ground!

Oh, is it working, dude?

Dude?

I just realized, we can't let her catch us
until we've done something bad!

-Oh, you could've told me!
-Sorry!

Aah.

Quick, get in here!

OK, you get Brown's attention.
I'll deface his car.

-Principal Brown!
-[stone bangs on window]

Principal Brown!

Principal Brown!

Principal Brown!

Principal Brown!

[gasps]

Dude, why is every single window broken
except for Brown's?

How about you do it yourself

-if you're such a hot sh*t?
-[footsteps]

I caught them!

I finally caught them,
which means I can do this.

You're coming with me
to the principal's office.

With pleasure.

Wait, we forgot to spray our names.

What do you mean?

Duh! If we don't sign it,
Principal Brown will think it's you again,

then you'll get fired
and lose the love of your life.

Now, where would that leave us?

Are you trying to say
that you only did this

to save my reputation, my job,
and my relationship?

Of course. What do you take us for,
some kind of criminals?

Well, yes.

[gasps]

And I was wrong!

Right, I'll clean this up.

You need to get out of here
before Principal Brown sees this.

I don't think so, Miss Simian.
We're not letting you ruin your life.

Don't worry, I won't. Just go!

[softly] Boys!

I'm sorry!

What?

I'm sorry!

Say again?

I'm sorry!

Ha! Heard it the first time, miss.
Just wanted to milk it.

[laughs] Why, those little...

[car window closes]

-Care to explain?
-Well...

[sighs]

[theme music playing]