01x06 - Weird... But Warm

[bunniefuu]

Saturdays at the store are
actually pretty great.

It's busy, the vibe is strong.

We get a pretty reasonable cross-section

of the city's phonograph-owning public,

but I can always spot the real addicts,

the ones who just can't leave
without buying a record,

like this guy over here.

He's been making a list of
possible purchases in his head.

"If I don't find something
in the next five minutes,

this random blues compilation
will have to do"

Good choice.

Yeah. I guess.

Fetish properties are not unlike p*rn.

I'd feel bad taking their money,

if I wasn't, well, kinda one of them.

There you go, man.

You're f*ckin' k*lling me.
Like, like, no disrespect,

but where have you
been your entire life.

How do you not own Stop Making Sense?

That's crazy. That's
like not owning Blonde

or f*cking Blonde on Blonde,
you know what I'm sayin'?

Uh...

Damn, man, let me get you right.

You got some Fleetwood
Mac. One of those.

Let's see what else. Let's see...

Ohhh, sh*t!

Paul's Boutique,
m*therf*cker. All right.

Now, I have taken you on this journey,

and I think you done some fine-ass work.

No, no, no, thank me later.

I will now sell five copies

of Love, Loss, And Auto-Tune
by Swamp Dogg.

Do it.

♪ I'm so lonely ♪

♪ I'm so lonely ♪

- Who is this?
- Swamp Dogg.

It's good.

I know.

♪ What is the problem? ♪

♪ You know I don't have no other women ♪

♪ Don't want no other women ♪

Five bucks.

Hey, how you doing?

Great choice.

♪ Outta town too I guess ♪

♪ 'Cause I be at work,
I don't know what's going on ♪

♪ But I still love you and I want you ♪

Have it.

Have it.

Oh, man.

Just have all these.

- Have a good one.
- It's crazy.

- Hi.
- Hey!

- Hello.
- What's up?

It's, uh, quite the crowd you got here.

Ah, these are all paid actors.

Really? That seems like a terrible
business model, but okay.

♪ I'm so lonely ♪

Excuse me?

I'm looking for a Cherise.

♪ I get lonely ♪

♪ For you baby ♪

♪ But you just seem to be like ♪

♪ You gotta have every man ♪

♪ In town ♪

What'd you do last night?

I did that thing where, like,
you order enough Chinese

that they send four chopsticks.

But you're like, it's just me.
You're making me feel worse.

Umm... and I'm re-watching The Sopranos.

- So, yeah.
- Ugh, you know I haven't...

I haven't seen it yet.

What do you mean yet? It's
been out for, like, 25 years.

I was... No, I missed it.
I just didn't do it.

Sure. Did you grow up in a bunker?

- Yes. Yeah.
- Oh.

My family was in a cult.

Very cool.

Unfortunately, I'm not
really into Kool-Aid.

- Like, not my drink.
- Right.

Sure. That makes sense.

Yeah, I'm gonna watch it though.
I'm gonna get on it.

I mean, I'm a little taken aback.

For starters.

Mostly, I'm just, like,
genuinely excited for you though

to start on this journey, because

it's so good that I wish I could go back

and see it for the first time.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

- I'll watch it.
- And when you get to the end,

uh, give me a call,
we'll go get some Italian,

and we'll just talk it all out.

- All right. Deal.
- All right. Deal.

Wow!

Man, you literally read my mind.

I've always wished that
Sly were more like Fela,

but still like Sly, you know?

I do. That's Onyeabor.

Game-changer.

Hey, excuse me.

Hey.

Looks like you just
rocked that guy's world.

No, I just showed him a record.

Any idea what I might like?

I don't... I mean,

everybody's tastes are
so... different. I...

You know, some people like some stuff.

Other people like other stuff,
so, you know, it's tough.

People really still
listen to tapes, huh?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I do.

I like them. They're weird but warm.

Weird but warm. Yeah.

I, I feel that.

Well, if you think of
anything I might like,

come by the coffee shop?

- When, when are you there?
- I'm there most days of the week.

Okay. Yeah, I'll... Sure.

Yeah.

So what? You just came
by to give me sh*t

for not having seen
The Sopranos or what?

Yeah.

Mission accomplished.

No, I just came to say hi.

Is that allowed?

I'll allow it.

Good.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.
- I, I gotta...

Yes. No, you gotta work.

Yep.

Enjoy.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- Hey, yo, Rob.
- Hmm?

Who the f*ck was that
dude in the khakis?

What dude in khakis?

"What dude in kha..."
The dude that you was eye-f*cking

for the last 10 minutes, that dude.

I wasn't eye-f*cking anyone.

You were eye-f*cking him.

He wasn't ev... First of all,
he wasn't wearing khakis.

He's my friend Clyde. All right.

Clyde. Okay. I knew
that sounded familiar.

Clyde-that-owns-a-car Clyde.

- Prius Clyde.
- Yes. Exactly.

The Clyde that drove you
uptown to go check out

some overpriced record
collection, that Clyde?

- Yes.
- Cla-Cla-Clyde-Clyde-Clyde-Clyde!

Yes, that Clyde. Yes.

He is a patron of the store now.

Guys, employees, for the love of God,

I beg of you, go back to work.

What the f*ck? Jesus, Rob.

So you talk to a white dude in khakis
for all of five f*ckin' seconds

and now you all business all the time.

It's okay. I see you, and I got you.

Everyone, let's get back
to business, all right!

Sundays are a little bit more lax.

I guess everybody's at brunch.

Or yoga or laundry

or whatever other adult
activities make them feel

less shitty about their
stupid life choices.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Bro, there's 46. Can you
please write down 46.

It's not. It's not 46.

Ramones' Singles Box
counts as ten, not one.

Rob, could you please remind Mr.
Florida Recount over here

that box sets count as multiple records?

- Rob.
- Hmm? Hmm? What?

Come on, Yo. What the f*ck?
Like, we havin' a conversation.

What are you doing on your
phone? Who you texting?

- No one.
- "No one" is "someone." Who is it?

Okay, who is it, Rob?

Is it f*cking Khaki Clyde?

Y'all about to throw a little
f*ckin' sweater party?

- That's what y'all doing?
- It's, uh, it's Liam actually.

Wait a m*therf*cking minute.

Rewind. What, what you got?
What is happening?

Nothing. We text sometimes.

He's back from tour. He wants to hang.

Yeah, he's actually kinda
blowing up right now.

- Yeah?
- He invited me to his show tomorrow night.

You mean his sold-out
show at Brooklyn Steel?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yo, for real.

sh*t, I just get so hyped

when my people are just,
they just making sh*t happen,

and they're doing sh*t for themselves.

Let me tell y'all right now,

when my sh*t pops off,

oooh, it's gonna be lit!

You know you have to actually make music

to sell out a music venue, right?

And you know the dude that
you like is, like, 12, right?

Can you just do some work please.

Sure thing, Mr. Polanski.

That's great. That's very helpful.

- I know you would like that.
- Yeah, I know, I love it.

You wanna come with me tomorrow night?

I got backstage passes.

Sure.

Before you even ask,

I would be honored

to be your plus two.

What is that face?

All right. Yeah, let
me see what I can do.

I'm f*cking honored!

Whoo! We going to the show!

We're gonna hang backstage!

We're gonna drink with the band!

We're gonna watch from the side!

Lewis and I actually got to see TV
On The Radio once from side stage

'cause his roommate's girl...

someone was sleeping
with one of the guys

in the sound system. Whatever.

- So what?
- And it's actually

the worst place to hear a show.

That is bullshit and you know it.

All right.

You're in.

Oh! Oh, my God, Rob. Thank you so much.

Yo, but I have to ask you
a question. Serious.

If I accompany you to the playground,

does that make me an accomplice?

Cherise, the door!

Oh, f*ck, no!

Motherfuckin' b*tches!

My bad. My bad. My bad.

f*ck!

They can really run.

They're gone. They're fast.

No f*ckin' way.

What is it? What's wrong?

- Look at this?
- sh*t.

This is them.

These dumb motherfuckin' b*tches.

Yo, if you... if you
trying to steal some sh*t,

you don't f*ckin' put

your address

and a f*ckin' photo of yourself

at the motherfuckin' scene of the crime.

- Oh, sh*t.
- I gotta, I gotta quit smoking.

♪ There's nothin' for us in Belfast ♪

♪ The Pound's old and that's a pity ♪

♪ Okay so there's the
Trident in Bangor ♪

♪ And then you walk back to the city ♪

Hey, what's up?

♪ They don't even know you know ♪

♪ They just want money
we can take it or leave it ♪

♪ What we need ♪

♪ Is an alternative Ulster ♪

♪ Grab it and change it, it's yours ♪

This is a terrible idea.
They're gonna f*ckin' shank us.

Shank you? Who says that?

Nah. You got this.

All right. Now repeat after me:

I'm a motherfuckin' G,

and I can do this sh*t.

I'm not saying that sh*t.

Listen. The sh*t works.
Just say it. You're so mean.

I'm a motherfuckin' G,

- and I can do this sh*t.
- All right, shut up, let's just do it.

Listen.

Yep, hear it.

All right, genius, what's your plan?

Yeah, that's right.

We found your motherfuckin' bitch asses.

Aw, sh*t!

Look, apologies, genuinely.

We're just borrowing them.
We were gonna bring them back.

Borrowing them?

We're not a f*ckin' Blockbuster.

What's a "Blockbuster"?

- Never mind, Peachy.
- I'm Shane.

Whatever. Why are you guys "borrowing"
records from my shop, huh?

We make our own samples.
We can't afford to buy them.

- Then sample sh*t online.
- Vinyl sounds better.

Joni Mitchell, King Crimson.

- Mm, mm, mm.
- Alice Coltrane...

You have good taste.

Yeah, we know.

- All right. You got one day.
- What?

Finish whatever you're doing
and bring 'em back, okay?

- Bro, have you lost your mother...
- Cherise, shut up a second.

I want them back in pristine
condition by noon tomorrow.

- Oh, my...
- Shut up! Or I call the cops.

Deal?

Deal.

- What the f*ck?
- Can...

- I'm sorry about her.
- f*ck it!

All right.

Yo, what happened to you? Did you panic?

Like, who was that?
That's why we had a script.

Jesus! Well, now I know
you're not a boss.

The f*ck.

You know, Cherise,
every once in a while,

it would be useful for you to admit

you have no idea what
you're talking about.

Who are you talking to? I have no idea?

Am I the one that just went
and gave free records

to f*ckin' Fisher-Price
Cool & Dre back there?

You know, just go back to the shop
and help Simon close up, okay.

Sweetie, where are you going?

Liam invited me to the studio.

I mean, he's a cute toddler and all,
but you don't have to leave me.

Come on!

Stop. I'm scared.

All my life I've wanted
to date a musician.

Not just someone in a band,
but, you know, a real musician.

He'd write songs at home,

maybe include one of our
private jokes in the lyrics.

Thank me in the liner notes.

Top Five Iconic Recording Studios:

Abbey Road, obviously.

Sunset Sound: Exile On Main
St. Pet Sounds. Zep IV.

Hitsville, U. S. A.: Motown. Stevie.
The Jacksons. Ms. Diana Ross.

Sun Studio: The literal
birthplace of rock & roll.

Number five: Electric Lady.

Jimi Hendrix built this place.
d*ed three weeks later.

I've walked past a million times

but... never been inside.

Be cool, Rob. Be cool.

♪ Look up ahead ♪

♪ I see the loveland ♪

♪ Soon you'll understand ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Rob?
- Yeah.

- Follow me.
- Okay.

It's really coming down out there.

Yeah.

Oh, it was, uh, it was Rob, right?

Yeah.

I'm Brad. I work with Liam.

Nice to meet you.

- Welcome to the Lady.
- Thanks.

Uh... yeah, just, just
put that there. Yeah.

- Can I get you a beer?
- Uh, yeah, sure.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

He is in the booth right now.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Take a seat. I'll get you that beer.

Oh, thanks.

♪ Beautiful lady ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You got me in your heavy gravity ♪

♪ I've been spinning round and round ♪

How'd that, how'd that one sound, then?

It's getting, it's getting somewhere.

Umm... but, uh, you got a visitor.

Hey, I'm Jack. How's it going?

Hi, I'm Rob.

- Big fan.
- Thanks, man.

- Hey, you.
- Hey!

- What's up? How are you?
- How you doin'? It's good to see you.

- Sounds good.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- You're getting it.

Um, can we, can we play it back, Jack?

Yeah. I'm gonna check on
our falafel. You guys listen.

- Nice to meet you.
- You too...

Jack Antonoff.

That's cool.

Yeah.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Beautiful lady ♪

♪ Ooh, you got me in your ♪

All right, what do you think?

It's good.

It's good?

It's... okay, but?

- It's good.
- Yeah, but what?

Umm...

I don't know.

- The b*at's really fun.
- Mm-hmm.

Um, maybe your vocals
sound a little, um,

earnest, or something?

Ohh!

She thinks I'm earnest. Wow!

Yeah.

No, it's not bad. It's just...

Well, okay, then. What, what to do?

Rob?

I don't know, man. Um...

What would Prince do, you know?

Have fun with it. Get weird with it.

Let's get weird with it then.

Food's back.

You wanna do another one?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Let's go.

Right. We're gonna get weird with it.

Weird with it.

'Kay.

Ready to go again?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Beautiful lady ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You got me in your heavy gravity ♪

♪ I've been spinning round and round ♪

♪ Till it hits the ground ♪

♪ I'm gonna... ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Caught in... ♪

- Here you go.
- Hmm. Huh?

You like falafel?

- Oh.
- You know Mamoun's?

- No.
- It's a place around here. It's like,

not my opinion, it's
actually the best falafel.

- Oh, my God.
- Right?

- b*mb.
- This is the real one,

and they, like, franchise
in New Jersey or something

but, like, if you're in this
area, the one right here

is like the one you actually gotta get.

He's actually, like,
totally getting into it.

That's totally the sh*t.

Like, you're right there.

Do another one knowing that you got it.

So just, like, see what happens.

But you have it, and, uh, just have fun.

Wait.

You wanna get weird with it?

Did she do it?

Did she go to bed with an
actual real-life rock star

ten years her junior?

Yes, kids.

Yes, she did.

I'm not gonna go into
the whole, you know,

who-did-what-to-who-stuff

because... I'm a lady.

You know that song Behind
Closed Doors by Charlie Rich?

I love that song.

I can say we had a good time.

I can say that.

And I didn't totally embarrass myself.

Hey, you leaving?

Hey. Uh, yeah, you know,
I was gonna get out of your...

get out of your hair and gotta go to,

uh... work.

So... These are yours. Sorry.

You, uh, you got time for a coffee?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sure.

Okay.

Coffee.

So, you excited for your show tonight?

Hmm.

Yeah, I am. I mean, I am
quite bummed, you know,

that I have to leave straight after.

Be nice to stick about and
celebrate with my friends

and, you know,

hang out with you.

Very sweet.

Very good coffee.

Thank you.

- Where's your tour?
- South America.

So we're doing Colombia,
Argentina, and Brazil.

Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, it'll be sick.

Oh, and we're doing Mexico City as well.

Mexico. Big fan.

I'm just kidding. I've
never been to Mexico.

You should come to Mexico City!

Yeah, okay.

You should. You totally should.
I mean, why not?

You know the whole thing
about being a rock star is

you get to sleep with girls and
not call them back, right?

You don't have to invite
me to Mexico, dude.

Wow, I didn't know you
were a misogynist.

But really though, I mean,

you should come.

Can I think about it?

Uh... yeah.

You can think about it.

Cool.

So what time, what time
do you start work, again?

You really are 19.

Teenagers.

A typical Monday morning consists
of bacon, egg and cheese,

self-pity, and shitty bodega coffee.

That was not a typical Monday morning.

That's more like it.

Damn it.

sh*t. The city's covered in sh*t.

♪ They'll take and take and take away ♪

♪ Till there's nothing
left but an angry face ♪

♪ So hey ♪

♪ Did you breathe out today? ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Well, who is this?

- It's Peachy and Shane.
- Peachy and Shane.

What? No f*ckin' way.

It's, um,

it's f*cking good.

- It's actually real good.
- Mm-hmm.

No, don't do...

- Oh, come on.
- What are you doing?

You know you never gonna
get your records back,

right? I hope you know that.

Hey, look who it is.

Right on time.

Yes, love this track.

You get what you needed?

We did. It sounds sick.

Much gratitude.

Sure.

Hey, we listened to your
stuff. It's really good.

- Thanks.
- Right on.

Yo, if you guys want to
borrow any more records,

just come in and ask properly.

And if you do press something,
we'd love to sell it.

- Sick.
- That's really cool of you.

Bye. See you later.

Yo, what the hell was that?

You just told them that you
were gonna sell their records?

Yeah, so what? They're good.

I'm sorry, I just find it
kind of odd, you know,

that you would prefer
to rep some f*ckin'

trust fund punks over someone

who you know in your
bitter, jealous heart

is a musical visionary.

Well, where's the record, Cherise?

I don't know how many
times I have to tell you

I am operating on the
element of surprise!

What are you, Beyoncé?
You're not making sh*t.

No, I'm not. I'm the
motherfuckin' underdog, Rob!

You should know this. You know what?

I'm taking a sick day!

Take it! You don't do sh*t here anyway.

- f*ck you, yo.
- f*ck you, yo.

What the f*ck was that?

Hey.

Yo, I'm ready. I just want to
stop by my place real fast

so I can change. Where
the f*ck are my keys?

Actually, do you mind if I, um, skip it?

You're kidding.

You're gonna make me
go to the show alone.

You're not gonna be alone.
There's gonna be, like,

a thousand people there.

Plus Mr. Future of
Music, Liam Shawcross,

- Scottish hot boy...
- Uh-huh.

Cool. Great.

- Don't be like that.
- Yeah.

Everybody sucks today.

No, we don't. We're not, uh...

♪ You take the skyway ♪

♪ High above the busy little one-way ♪

♪ In my stupid hat and
gloves at night I lie awake ♪

♪ Wonderin' if I'll sleep ♪

♪ Wonderin' if we'll
meet out in the street ♪

♪ But you take the skyway ♪

- 'Sup.
- 'Sup.

You like nice.

- You look cool too.
- I f*ckin' know I look good.

Yeah.

- 'Sup.
- 'Sup.

- Names?
- Rob and Cherise.

Boo.

Oh, sh*t, this is real!

Sorry.

- I, I'mma get one of these beers.
- Okay.

- You want one?
- Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks.

- Hey.
- Just excuse me.

Hey!

- Hey.
- Hi.

Oh, my God. I'm so happy you're here.

I hate these people.

I hate them too.

Just kidding.

- Here. Have a, have a seat here.
- Yeah, sure.

Let me just,

let me just finish gettin' ready.

So this is cool, huh? Livin' the dream.

Yeah, I mean, that's probably
why it doesn't feel real.

But, yeah, this is cool.

So, um... I thought about it.

And Mexico, I'm in.

Ah, sh*t.

- What?
- Um,

yeah, we're actually, um... we're
not doing Mexico City anymore.

- Oh.
- Yeah, we, uh, we booked Glastonbury.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Glastonbury.
- Yeah.

- Holy sh*t, dude, that's huge.
- Yeah.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

So, yeah, I mean, I could obviously
probably get you a day pass.

- Oh, don't.
- But we're only there for 24 hours.

- Don't worry about it.
- Yo, it was a f*cking ordeal

trying to get these g*dd*mn beers,

but I got 'em!

- Thank you.
- Yo, bro, what's up?

Congrats, yo, so happy for you, dude.

- Thanks.
- How you livin'?

- Yeah.
- You ready, my man?

Yeah, man, let's do it.

- Hey, it's Rob, right?
- Yeah.

Rob. That's Cherise.

Hi. I'm Brad.

- Liam's manager.
- Whoa!

- See you later.
- The f*ck?

Um, they wanna wire you up.

Okay, cool. Cool.

Do you, uh, do you wanna come?

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.

- See you after the show.
- All right, my man.

Okay, so, you said Brad.

Brad.

Sorry. Listen, okay. So, I mean,

we won't have much time to hang

'cause we're only there
for, like, 24 hours.

But I will get back to New York!

Soon.

- After the tour.
- Cool.

So that'll be, like,

like, a couple months.

- Cool.
- I'm sorry.

I mean, things are... it's just crazy.

It's totally fine.
I get it. I understand.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Okay.

- I've gotta go.
- Yeah. Go.

- Go.
- All right.

- I'll see you after, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

You know I sing too, right?

I do now.

My sh*t's like, uh, punk soul,

you know what I'm saying?

But high concept, only the best.

You know what I mean? But it's
actually, ahh, I don't know,

it's, it's a little less punk.

You know what I mean?

Um, it's a little less punk,

but it's still commercial.

It's that new-new sh*t,
that new-new sh*t

that nobody got.

I got it. You know what I'm saying?

f*ck, it's hard to describe
it, you know what I mean?

Like, how the f*ck do
you describe genres,

I don't know.

But, um, uh, yeah,

so, you should, uh,

you should hear me sing.

That's what we should just do.
Maybe you should just hear me sing

and, and, and you enjoy yourself,
you know what I'm saying?

So let's figure out when you
have some time in your little...

Hey, you know what, I... I gotta go.

- Yeah.
- So, uh...

great chattin' at ya,

and, uh... good luck with everything?

Okay.

Hey.

Yeah, so we gonna go see
this f*ckin' show or what?

Yes! Let's do it.

♪ Give me light ♪

♪ Give me light, give me light ♪

♪ Give me love ♪

♪ Give me light ♪

♪ So I can win your heart ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Give me light, give me light ♪

Yup. Here I am.

Livin' the dream.

Yo!

Wanna bail?

Yeah.

The sound blows up here.

- What?
- The sound blows up here!

- Yeah, it does.
- Yeah!

♪ Got a new tattoo, I think it's you ♪

♪ But I'm never gonna see it ♪

♪ In the dark ♪

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Glastonbury, huh?

- Yup.
- Hmm.

Yo, that manager dude was a
f*ckin' clown, by the way.

Yeah. He was a dickhead.

Dickhead.

All right.

Top Five Underdogs. Go.

Oh, sh*t. Okay.

Tina motherfuckin' Turner.

Ooh, you bastard...

Yeah, I knew you want that one.

Damn it. All right.

Daniel-San. Karate Kid.

Ohh, sh*t, that is a classic.

Well played, well played.

"Wax on, wax off."

Wax on, bitch.

Uhm... oh... Betty... Boop.

- What?
- Betty... Boop.

♪ Unless we put a little
love in our hearts ♪

♪ Working together
we can make a change ♪

♪ Working together
we can help better things ♪

♪ So let us put our hate aside ♪

♪ And let us let love be our guide ♪

♪ Let's now try little
love for a change ♪

♪ Just try little love for a change ♪