2x08 - Pret-a-Poor-J

[bunniefuu]

Gossip girl here, Your one and only source Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite.

Say those three words, and I'm yours.

I will never say those words to you.

We were just playing chess, and she was another piece That you needed to knock over on your way to take the queen.

I'm really glad you're nate's friend.

He really needs someone like you right now.

Hope you don't mind, but we've got a lodger.

That's not my dress! it's my dress.

You can't make me give up my job with eleanor.

watch me.

Your dad asked me to bring over all my stuff on homeschooling.

Every girl fantasizes about finding her prince charming.

But if that prince refuses to come You are late.

time for breakfast.

I'll be down in a minute.

I just have to finish something.

A girl has to take matters into her own hands.

Don't forget--god always watching, miss blair.

Wait, no.

What do you mean the herringbone won't arrive until tomorrow? The meeting with the buyers from bloomingdale's is today.

No, I don't care about italian customs.

if the electricity goes out, I think we found a new energy source.

she's making me dizzy.

Fine, then you can be the one to tell eleanor that yourself.

Stupid! stupid italians.

Oh, oh, I know, with their pizza and pasta and michelangelo.

But apparently not their herringbone.

dad, you don't understand.

Eleanor put me in charge, and it's a really big deal.

honey, breathe.

No, no time for oxygen.

I am late.

Oh, and I forgot my homework.

Seriously, she's making me feel like a slacker.

Maybe I can help you fix that.

Tomorrow night's the aaron rose opening at the gallery.

Vanessa and I could really use your help setting things up.

Aaron rose is that artist You--you discovered up at r.

i.

s.

d.

, right? yeah, the kid's amazing.

Homework, headset, handbag, check, check, check.

I have to pee.

guys, have you seen my sketchbook? Oh, no, no, nate! whoa, sorry! oh, my gosh.

Jenny-- sorry, uh You--did you do something with your hair? Uh, yeah.

shorter, blonder.

I was--i was bored.

I like it.

it looks-- it looks good.

Oh, go ahead and use the bathroom.

I'm sorry.

oh, no.

I didn't mean to-- no, no, no.

I'm gonna go.

it's fine.

I'll just No, no, no, no.

no, no, no, it's fine.

bye.

Okay.

Want to get in? I'd love to give you a ride.

Oh, I'm sure you would.

Too bad you've made the terms of that arrangement impossible.

About that--maybe I was a little too hasty.

Come on.

get in.

Maybe I don't want you anymore.

Don't t*rture me.

I'm dying.

All you have to do is say those three magic words.

I hate you.

Eleanor waldorf.

Dude, I love that dress.

Thanks.

I mean, thanks on behalf of eleanor waldorf designs.

I'm agnes, by the way.

I think we've worked together, 'cause I kind of recognize the top of your head.

jenny, and yeah, 'cause I think I recognize your feet.

Um, excuse me a minute.

okay.

Eleanor, I think the buyer from bloomingdale's is here.

Should--should I take notes, or what do you Uh, you said I could be in the meeting today, remember? Well, not today.

I need you to finish that.

Robert? Darling.

I am so glad they sent you.

come.

you are going to love it.

Jenny? Nate? what are you doing here? I found this when you left, and I thought You might need it, so oh, my gosh, I do.

thank you.

thank you so much.

Sure.

that was really nice of you.

Well, I'll let you-- let you get back to work.

yeah, I'll see you later.

Bye.

bye.

That guy is totally into you.

Uh, no, he's not.

he thinks of me like a little sister.

Yeah, a little sister he'd like to do.

No.

no, he doesn't.

yeah, yes, yes.

How's the--how's a.

p.

economics treating you? Um, well, today there was a rousing debate About inflation versus liquidity, Which isabelle settled by calling warren buffett.

Apparently, he's her godfather.

Hey, um, so the other night, Seeing you was really nice.

I know the first leg Of the dan/serena "let's be friends" tour Was a disaster, but, uh well, we were young and stupid then.

Now we're older and wiser.

You have to help me destroy chuck bass.

ooh.

All right, I'll take that as my cue to leave.

oh, you're very perceptive.

Dan, wait.

if you're having a problem with chuck, Then a man's perspective could be helpful.

Just because you two are making a doomed attempt At being friends doesn't mean I have to play the enabler.

blair, come on.

Well, if you're plotting against chuck bass, Then i--i'm sure I can think of something.

Fine.

I have an itch that only chuck can scratch, And he won't oblige unless I tell him I love him.

ugh.

You--you need help getting chuck to sleep with you? really? You hear the judgment in his voice right now, right? He--he's working on that.

Yeah.

you're right.

I'm sorry.

uh, no--no judgment, only help.

So do you love him? no! no, of course not.

Then why don't you just say it to get what you want? Frat guys have been doing that since forever.

I can't.

If I say it, then chuck wins.

Right, but if you say it, then you get him, and you win.

No, I lose.

see? this is totally pointless.

I was thinking I would just disappear for a while And give him a taste of life without me.

no, no, no.

That's a terrible idea.

Don't disappear.

become unavoidable.

Chuck may be a deviant, but he's still a man.

So just, you know, drive him crazy, Wear him down.

you should be good at that.

Look who finally got a little interesting.

I'm sure it's a fluke.

See? isn't this nice? Ugh.

even broken up, you guys make me nauseous.

Jenny! I am so sorry about today with robert.

I know you wanted to be at that meeting.

It's okay.

I've just been so on edge, Because these meetings with these buyers Have not been going the way that I had expected.

I don't understand.

The--the runway show went so well.

That's this season.

they want to know about next season.

Fortunately, robert did see one dress that he was very fond of.

I didn't know you started anything for next season.

I haven't.

he--he loved the dress that you are wearing.

Barneys and bendel's are coming tomorrow.

I have to have something to show them.

Um, you could show them this dress.

Well, if you're offering.

I do think that it would be good for both of us.

Right, 'cause then I could be in those meetings? Absolutely.

when those buyers leave here, They will know the name jenny humphrey.

So you are going to have to remake that dress In my fabrics, of course.

Um, um, eleanor, the meeting's tomorrow.

I-i don't even have a pattern for this dress.

I'd have to take the whole thing apart And completely make a new one.

You expect me to reschedule barneys and bendel's? Okay.

I guess i better get to it.

Yeah.

Want to get a drink? Want to say those three little words? No.

Then no drink.

Why? scared you won't be able to handle it? Spotted-- upper east side beauty Laying down the gauntlet for her favorite beast.

But careful, princess.

it's gonna take more Than a little leg to get this prince to ravish you.

I'll have one drink with you, Unless you can convince me why I should stay, of course.

Well, just because we've reached an impasse On a certain issue doesn't mean we can't be friends.

So ever since charlize theron became the face of dior, I've wanted to change my signature scent.

I've been trying out a new one.

I can't decide if I like it.

Would you mind? It smells a little like desperation.

Yeah, well, I'll just keep on looking.

thank you.

You've been very helpful.

To friendship.

Oops! I am so sorry.

Let me help you with that.

I gave you a shot.

And while your efforts were admirable, I'm bored, and you ruined my pants.

Good night, blair.

Hi.

um, I'm looking for dan humphrey.

Uh, yeah, he's here with vanessa somewhere.

Cafe? maybe? Uh, wait.

What do you think? if no one comes to the show, You might be the only one who ever reads it.

Um, well, I don't know much about art.

But I do know a lot about spelling, so Oh, no.

I think maybe you--you should have had someone proofread it Before you stuck it to the wall.

Are you kidding me? where did I mess up? -I-i went over it a hundred times! -I'm kidding.

Wow.

you haven't even said your name.

-You're already humiliating��-sorry about that.

Good, so you'll stop abusing me then? No, but I will introduce myself.

I am serena.

Uh, aaron.

Oh! aaron.

then--then-- then you're the artist.

Yeah.

I have to meet rufus at the storage space.

He is stressing.

if his right eye starts to twitch, -That's when you have to break out the valium.

-too late.

He's been winking nonstop since lunch.

The caterer thought he was hitting on him.

-Hey, could you, uh, get that for me? -it's, uh, blair.

Since when does she call you? Oh, uh I'm--i'm helping her with this thing.

-Um, I gotta take this.

sorry.

-All right.

Hello? I just wanted to thank you For encouraging me to throw myself at chuck.

I can skip dinner now that I'm so full on humiliation.

-Chuck was completely unmoved.

-well, are you--are you sure He wasn't just acting like it didn't work? Unfortunately, there was no hard evidence of that, Literally.

I didn't even get the chance to show him my necklace Tangled up in my hair.

The nape of the neck is chuck's kryptonite.

oh, that's good to know.

-So he just got up abruptly,and he,he left? -like a bass outta hell.

Well, then you got him right where you want him.

trust me.

He's headed home.

intercept him.

I'll let you know what happens.

Oh, please don't.

So I don't get it.

where--where's the mike? Oh, they're hidden.

there's a bunch all around the gallery.

Well, I hope people only have nice things to say About you and your show, because you're gonna hear 'em.

Well, I guess you'll have to come and find out.

Serena? -Hey.

you been here long? -no, uh, not that long.

Okay, well, you hungry? 'cause we should get going.

See you later, aaron.

yeah, you, uh, you two have fun on your date.

Oh, no, it's-- it's not a date.

yeah, no, we're, uh, we're just fr-- We--we used to date, but we're friends now.

I should get back.

dude, eleanor is a sl*ve driver.

But don't worry.

I'll get you home in time -I'll get u home To get all your work done.

-ladies.

By the way, I love your dress.

I mean, I've been coveting it all day.

Who makes it? I mean, it's definitely not eleanor waldorf.

.

not yet Um, no, I made it, actually.

No way.

okay, no, now I am wearing it.

come on.

What am I gonna wear? Uh, jenny, this is max.

max, jenny.

Hi.

hey, what's happening? I cannot believe you told blair to go to my house to seduce chuck.

well, I would have sent her to my place, but I thought It might be awkward a little bit with nate on the couch, so yeah.

How's that been with nate? Oh, it's been good, actually.

it's been really good.

I don't think I ever realized how much he-- Oh! is this the third time blair's texted me? Uh, fifth, actually, I think.

Oh, she wants to know if I have candles.

Ew.

no.

I'm--i'm sorry.

Um, go on.

no, I was just saying I don't think I ever realized how nate-- Is this driving you crazy, too? -No.

no, it's--it's fine.

-oh, she's getting c*ck now.

What are you doing, blair? Serena knew how upset I was.

She didn't want me to be alone, So she invited me to sleep over.

Go away, chuck.

It's pointless.

I'm not gonna say it.

I don't care.

Ignore it.

Give it! You almost had me, blair.

Almost.

Hey, you b*tch.

No, no, no.

you are a b*tch.

You must've taken, like, a million pictures tonight.

It's what I do.

I like photographing you, though.

Okay, wait, wait.

that was trish and saskia, And, uh, they just got off wor so they want to meet up now.

Uh, no, agnes, I gotta go.

I-i have so much work to do, it's not even funny.

No, sweetie, this is work.

I mean, trish and saskia are, like, the hottest stylists.

She's right.

you should meet these girls.

They do editorial for "nylon" and "paper" all the time.

-I mean, it sounds awesome, but i -no, no, no.

listen, sweetie, Just come and say hi for, like, five minutes.

That's nothing.

you can sleep when you're dead, baby.

Which is gonna be tomorrow when eleanor kills me.

I'm sorry.

i-i am gonna have to pull an all-nighter as it is.

-I have--i have to go.

-all right, suit yourself.

Agnes! Agnes, you have my dress! Excuse me.

I need--excuse me.

Excuse me.

agnes! This is agnes.

you know what to do, b*tches.

Sorry, j.

, but in the real world, You can't take a note to the principal When a drunken model eats your homework.

Agnes, I'm gonna k*ll you.

No, dude, no, no, no, trust me.

i-i'm sorry.

I just got all of your messages.

Look, here, take the dress, and I don't think that You should give this to eleanor, by the way.

-I mean, my friends,they freaked over it last night.

-great.

I don't care.

Okay, seriously, you work your a*s off, and for what? So eleanor can rip off your ideas? No, eleanor promised that I could be in the meetings With the buyers from bendel's and barneys today.

Just like she introduced you to the guy from bloomingdale's.

Look, come here, okay? no.

stop.

Jenny, come here.

agnes! oh, my god, I don't have time for this.

what? Just look at this, okay? I mean seriously, this can be an ad campaign.

Yeah, that does look pretty cool.

I mean, right? and look, you can do whatever you want to do, But, I mean, what do you think people will say when they see That jenny humphrey's finally gone on her own? I don't know.

"jenny humphrey's so young to have her own line"? Or "too bad jenny humphrey's stuff Looks exactly like eleanor waldorf's.

" Blair waldorf in brooklyn.

-You two,are you two lost? -will you talk to her, please? I--there's nothing to talk about.

I told you it's over.

She stopped listening to me.

maybe she'll listen to you.

Um, sure.

I'm gonna go check out the art in the art gallery.

Talk.

Oh, she's back.

Wow, this is looking complicated.

Don't worry.

You walk in on surgery halfway through, it looks like m*rder.

-Can I help? -you know how to weld? Um, I've seen "flashdance" several times.

You and chuck have been toying with each other forever.

So you didn't win this one.

you ever think maybe you -Should just, I don't know, let it go? -this is different.

Why? Do you--do you love him? Wow.

someone loves chuck bass.

I don't know.

I just I I don't understand how it got to this place.

You know, the first time that I told serena I loved her, Uh, it was terrifying.

I've never felt so exposed.

But the feeling that I got when she said it back to me Uh, was probably the single greatest moment of my life.

But you broke up.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it all over again.

If I say it, he wins, and if he wins, Then I'll just be another girl to him.

You don't know that that's true.

You have to decide what's most important to you-- Keeping your pride and getting nothing or taking a risk And--and maybe, maybe, having everything.

Well, I almost lost a finger in the process, I might be permanently cross-eyed, but I did it.

Thank you.

you look like hell.

You should go home.

Uh, the buyers are gonna be here any minute.

Yeah, I know.

that's why I'm gonna need every moment alone To figure out what the hell am I gonna do? this dress is a mess! It's not my finest work, but I wouldn't call it a mess.

The seams aren't finished, the zipper gapes, And--and you finished the hem on the machine.

I told you that once the machine ate my fabric, -I had to start all over.

-Stop lying to me.

I know where you were last night.

Laurel caught the interns looking at pictures Of you and agnes out at some trashy bar.

Look, I'm sorry.

I thought I could still get it done in time.

You want to be a grown-up and have a real job? You have to accept real responsibility And the consequences for your actions When you don't come through.

I should've known better than to give so much responsibility To a child.

A-a child? I'm sorry, but this child seems to be the only one That can design anything that the buyers are remotely interested in.

This is not about that dress.

you are using that dress As an excuse because you are scared That if I am in that meeting and meet someone important That they will want to be in business with me and not you.

You are lucky I don't fire you this minute.

Oh, you are lucky that I don't just quit, Because then what would you do? Go on home.

I'll see you monday.

Can I at least have my dress back? Sure.

it's of no use to me anyway.

here.

I don't mean this one.

You touch this dress, you will never set foot in here again.

Sometimes the most important thing to know Is when to get out And when to give in.

So i-i'd say this was a success.

Makes me realize what a bust all my other openings were.

Well, I'm gonna let you bask in your glory, Because serena's here, and And she brought blair again.

That's the second time that girl was here today.

You're not I'm not what? oh, no.

oh, no, no, no, no.

no, no.

I'm not--no.

I mean, serena wants us to get along, But not like that.

no, that would, uh, that would be sick.

Why don't we just tell serena you're not interested In being friends with blair? oh, we just started hanging out again.

I don't want to rock the boat.

hey.

This is a huge turnout.

Aaron must be so thrilled.

And your dad.

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty exciting.

Uh, so I thought you were gonna be with chuck tonight.

-What happened? -oh, she is, um, but she told him to meet her here.

She needed some moral support.

Yes.

she is freaking out.

she needs a drink.

Let me see what I can do about that for her.

So first nate's a part of the family, And then I see you've invited blair to my opening? seriously? I'm sorry.

i-i know.

I know.

I didn't invite her, But serena and blair tend to be a package deal.

And I don't know.

I've--i've recently Sort of seen another side to her, and I mean, she's not that bad.

Are you kidding? you're talking about blair waldorf.

She and chuck just used me as catnip For one of their twisted little games, -And what they did was really messed up.

-i-i had no idea.

Why didn't you tell me that? Truthfully, i-i was embarrassed.

And the weird part is That chuck wound up being the more human of the two.

At least he felt a little bad about it.

not her.

-What? -no, it's just--i can't believe that I allowed myself To be sucked in by blair waldorf.

What do you think? Um, I think that you are officially a successful artist.

Well, thank you.

you know what they say-- "success is nothing without someone to share it with.

" They do say that.

So who are you planning to share it with? Uh, my dad, My nana, my dog mookie, named by nana.

She's a huge mets fan.

And, uh, and you.

Uh, uh, you.

I was hoping you.

Maybe dinner? Uh, sorry.

i, um, I'm not really dating right now.

The vague and unsatisfying "i'm not dating right now" response.

I know it well.

-Usually I'm giving it, not getting it.

-sorry.

Yeah, I can tell, Which is why I'm gonna give you a second chance.

If you can tell me the fate of cecil the caterpillar, I will go out with you.

Okay, I don't really date crazy people who speak in riddles.

Just think about it, And when you figure it out, I'm yours.

Chuck just texted me.

he wants to meet me on the roof.

The roof? well, this way, if he doesn't say it back, Then I can just jump.

then he'll be really sorry.

Oh, no.

don't do it, b.

You don't want your obit to say you died in brooklyn.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

Hey.

stay there.

Blair, I need to talk to you.

-I can't.

chuck's waiting for me.

-I know.

it's about that.

Just, um, you know, be--be careful.

Well, why? you said to be the opposite of careful.

-You told me to take a risk.

-Right.

I know.

I know.

But i--it--it was bad advice, 'cause when I said that, I was thinking of how things were for--for serena and me.

I mean, we're talking about chuck here.

-It's not the same thing.

yes, it is, and it's gonna be okay.

Sure, well, maybe.

just before you say anything, Make sure he's done playing games.

He is.

now if you'll excuse me Hey.

I didn't know you guys were coming.

-Hey.

I'm gonna go say hey to aaron, okay? -okay.

Yeah, max knows aaron from r.

i.

s.

d.

, So he wanted to come and say hi and I wanted to see you After hearing about your crazy stunt with eleanor.

Yeah.

I'm actually just about To go tell my dad about that one.

Before you do, guess what? The editor from "nylon" saw the photos from last night.

He wants to do a feature on you as a designer to watch.

Agnes, since I quit eleanor's, I am an unemployed, homeschooled 15-year-old.

I'm not even an intern to watch.

dude, relax.

Max and I were just talking about it.

You should do your own clothing line.

Yeah, sure.

with no money, no contacts, nobody knows who I am.

That sounds like a fast track to success.

Stop coming up with reasons not to do it And just make some more dresses.

I can model them.

max will do some photos.

I mean, you can totally do this.

you really think so? Yes.

now you're gonna come with me to this party, And you're gonna meet this editor, 'cause he's dying to meet you.

So are you my b*tch or what? I am.

I am totally your b*tch.

good.

Jenny, hey.

hey, wait up.

Hey, are you taking off already? Uh, yeah.

me and my friends are going to a party.

oh, I didn't know.

I-i was hoping we could hang out tonight, but Well, there's always tomorrow at the loft.

Really? I mean, I kind of doubt that.

You're always working now, like last night, And the night before, and the, you know Yeah, well, I actually quit eleanor's.

Wait.

you quit eleanor's? That job was-- was everything to you.

I know.

um, it might sound crazy, But I'm actually thinking of starting my own line.

Really? what does your dad think about that? Okay.

um, I was hoping for a-- More of like a, "congratulations, jenny" Or at least a monosyllabic "wow," but No, look.

I mean, come on, jenny.

You really think you can start your own business right now? You coming, jen? Uh, yeah.

be right there.

Hey.

how old is that guy? okay, that guy's name is max, And he went to r.

i.

s.

d.

with aaron, And he's an amazing photographer.

He's gonna sh**t my line.

look, I gotta go.

Um, my friends are waiting for me, So I guess if my dad asks, just tell him I'm at eleanor's.

wait.

Brooklyn? At least it will be memorable.

I'm sorry, but don't you have something you want to say to me? Yes.

This is so silly.

what does it matter who says it first? Why don't we just say it together? Because that wasn't the deal.

Why does everything have to be a deal? Because we made it one.

What's going on, blair? You told me you had something to say to me.

Say it.

Why do I have to be the one to go first? I was the one who waited on that helipad for you.

I went to tuscany alone.

it's ancient history.

I was the one who asked you to say it first.

at the white party? When you were on your way out with the count? Did you really think I was going to say it then? Yes, and when you didn't, I wanted to die.

Don't tell me you brought me all the way to brooklyn for this I thought you were ready to tell me how you really felt.

Obviously it was just another one of your games.

My games? you're the one who started this.

And you're the one who finished it.

E me.

I don't think we've met yet.

Nate.

aaron.

Nice to meet you.

yeah, a pleasure.

That guy max that was here earlier? Is he a friend of yours? yeah, yeah, I know him from school.

Yeah? what's his deal.

max's deal? uh, he's a--he's a great guy, As long as he's not dating your little sister.

Yeah.

uh, listen, I gotta say hello to somebody Oh.

but, uh, thank you for stopping by.

I reallyppreciate it.

cool.

great work.

Yeah, thanks.

Excuse me.

Hey, b.

, what happened? it was a disaster, okay? I'm leaving.

no, I'll come with you.

No, it's fine.

you stay.

I just have to get out of here now.

Hey.

hey.

do you know what happened? why is blair so upset? Uh, yeah.

look, look, blair and chuck Were gonna self-destruct at some point, So I just-- I may have helped it along.

Wait.

you intentionally sabotaged blair? I know you're upset, And that--that was not my intention, But I just found out they completely screwed over vanessa.

no.

Whatever they did to vanessa, that's different.

This is about two people who love each other.

blair and chuck? c-come on.

I don't understand.

I thought you wanted to help blair.

No, I did this for you, 'cause you wanted me to help her.

I don't care about blair waldorf.

All of this is a-- it's--it's all a game to her.

No, in this case, it's not.

Blair loves chuck.

she's just been too scared to admit it.

I told her to talk to you Because I genuinely thought that you would help her be brave.

These are amazing.

Thank you.

Good thing you like 'em, 'cause soon it'll be shots Of you and your clothes up there.

Um if you guys want to be alone, That's cool.

I can just call later.

why would we want to be alone? I don't know.

you just--you said we were gonna go to a party, And it's getting kind of late, so Well, nobody goes until midnight anyway.

right.

Oh! I love this song.

Yeah.

come on.

Yeah.

come on.

Okay.

Hey, chuck.

hey.

wait a second.

Come on.

don't act like you didn't hear me.

I heard you.

I was just choosing to ignore you.

Well, don't, Because what just happened with you And blair-- it's none of your business.

No, it is, actually.

Look, I don't know how you feel about her, But I do know how she feels about you, And she was going to tell you until I stopped her.

Oh, my god, agnes.

Oh, come on.

now it's your turn.

Uh, yeah.

no way.

Oh, why not? because of max? No.

I don't know.

it's just weird.

Well, no, it's not.

he doesn't care.

He's a photographer.

come on.

Are you afraid that eleanor waldorf Is gonna find out and get mad at you? Fine.

Yeah, do it for eleanor.

Um, who's at the door? I don't know.

Wait.

agnes, are you crazy? don't answer it.

What have we here? Jenny humphrey caught in her knickers By nate, her knight in shining armani.

Nate, what are you doing here? no, jenny, what are you doing here? Come on.

get your stuff.

let's go.

no.

That's so sweet.

sweetie, I told you he liked you.

I totally called that one.

yeah.

dude, relax.

nothing's going on here.

Take a picture.

yeah, I'm not-- I'm not leaving with you.

Then I can wait.

Fine.

-sorry -come on Serena, hey.

serena, hey.

look, I'm--i'm--i'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

I was out of line.

yeah, you were.

Look, I'm sorry that blair and chuck messed with vanessa.

She doesn't deserve that, but instead of hurting blair, You should have been honest with me.

i-i know.

it's just-- Look, it's about what happened last time with amanda.

I was worried what would happen if we fought, 'cause i-i really want this to work with us.

yeah, me, too, But it's not going to if we can't talk to each other yeah.

you're right.

Okay, so--so let's--let's talk.

let's be friends.

let's There was something I wanted to tell you.

Um aaron asked me out.

But I said no, because i-i wasn't sure how you would feel.

But I kinda want to say yes.

Wow.

look at that, Just diving into the deep end of honesty.

Headfirst.

Look, I like aaron.

He's a good guy, so, uh, you have my blessing, If that's what you're looking for.

Well, he--he does seem nice, And even though we just met, I feel like I've--i've known him my Oh, my god.

What? "cecil the caterpillar.

" camp suisse.

Uh, did you just-- are you having a seizure, 'cause you're speaking in tongues.

no, I'm sorry.

I just--i just realized that i-i do know aaron.

We went to summer camp together, And there was this song about cecil the caterpillar.

I-i can't believe I didn't recognize him.

Oh, wow.

you--you went to--you went to camp in europe together.

Uh, that's cute.

No, it was--it was much more than just camp.

we got married.

Uh, there was a small ceremony with licorice rings On the banks of lake geneva.

it was tasteful.

mm.

what happened? Well, I took a bite out of my ring, so he asked for a divorce.

But we were happy for a time.

I can't believe-- I have to go find him.

D-do you mind? Oh.

no, of course not.

no.

I, uh, I have to find vanessa anyway.

Look, he's the-- he's the ex-husband.

I'm just the ex-boyfriend.

The problem with fairy tales is That they set a girl up for disappointment.

In real life, The prince goes off with the wrong princess Or the spell wears off And two lovers realize they are better off as Well, whatever they are.

Are you here to gloat? over what? Well, you won.

pop the champagne.

I didn't win.

Then why does it feel like I lost? The reason we can't say those three words to each other Isn't because they aren't true.

Then why? I think we both know That the moment we do, It won't be the start of something.

it'll be the end.

Think about it.

Chuck and blair going to the movies.

Chuck and blair holding hands.

We don't have to do those things.

We can do the things that we like.

What we like is this The game.

Without it, I'm not sure how long we'd last.

It'd just be a matter of time before we messed it all up.

Look, I'd rather wait.

Maybe in the future I suppose there could be some excruciating pleasure in that.

How could you do that to me? what are you talking about? You're lucky I showed up when I did.

what? That was a bad scene, jenny.

no, it wasn't, okay? We were dancing around in our underwear, not making a porno.

Not yet, anyway.

No, not ever! I would never let myself Get in a situation like that.

All right? I know what I'm doing, nate.

no, I know you think you do, But that guy was taking advantage of you.

Okay, you are not my father and you are not my brother, So why do you care so much? Because But I'll confess.

Every once in a while, a girl craves her fairy-tale ending.

So sleep tight, kiddies.

It seems like little j.

got her happily ever after.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

GOSSIP GIRL: Every girl fantasizes
about finding her Prince Charming...

...but if that Prince refuses to come--

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

You are late. Time for breakfast.

I'll be down in a minute.
I just have to finish something.

--a girl has to take matters
into her own hands.

Don't forget,
God always watching, Miss Blair.

What do you mean, the herringbone
won't arrive until tomorrow?

The meeting with the buyers
from Bloomingdale's is today.

No, I don't care about Italian customs.

If the electricity goes out,
we found our new energy source.

She's making me dizzy.

Fine, then you can be the one
to tell Eleanor that yourself.

Stupid, stupid Italians.

Oh, oh, I know, with their pizza
and pasta and Michelangelo.

-But not their herringbone.
-Dad, you don't understand.

Eleanor put me in charge.
It's a big deal.

-Honey, breathe.
-No. No time for oxygen. I am late.

And I forgot my homework.

-She's making me feel like a slacker.
-Maybe I can help fix that.

Tomorrow night's
the Aaron Rose opening.

Vanessa and I
could use your help setting up.

Aaron Rose is that artist
you discovered up at RISD, right?

-Yeah, the kid's amazing.
-Homework, headset, handbag.

Check, check. I have to pee.

-Guys, have you seen my sketchbook?
DAN: No, don't--

-Whoa, sorry. Oh, my God.
-Oh, sorry.

[CHUCKLING]

-Did you do something with your hair?
-Uh....

Yeah. Shorter, blonder. I was bored.

-I like it. It looks good.
-Thanks.

-Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry, I didn't--
-Oh, no, I'm gonna go.

-I'll just pee at work. No, no, it's fine.
-Okay.

Wanna get in?

I'd love to give you a ride.

Oh, I'm sure you would.

Too bad you've made the terms
of that arrangement impossible.

About that:
maybe I was a little too hasty.

Come on, get in.

Maybe I don't want you anymore.

Don't t*rture me.

I'm dying.

All you have to do
is say those three magic words.

I hate you.

Dude, I love that dress.

JENNY:
Thanks.

I mean, thanks on behalf
of Eleanor Waldorf Designs.

I'm Agnes.
I think we've worked together...

...because I kind of recognize
the top of your head.

Jenny, and yeah,
because I think I recognize your feet.

[CHUCKLING]

-Excuse me a minute.
-Okay.

Eleanor, I think the buyer
from Bloomingdale's is here.

Should I take notes,
or what are you...?

Uh, you said I could be
in the meeting, remember?

Well, not today.

I need you to finish that.

Robert, darling.

I am so glad they sent you. Come.

You are going to love it.

Jenny, hey.

Nate? What are you doing here?

I found this when you left.
I thought you might need it.

I do. Thank you. Thank you so much.

-Sure.
-That was really nice of you.

-Well, I'll let you get back to work.
-Yeah, I'll see you later.

-Bye.
-Bye.

That guy is totally into you.

Uh, no, he's not.

-He thinks of me like a sister.
-Yeah, a sister he'd like to do.

-No. No, he doesn't.
-Yeah. Yes.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Hey. How's AP Economics
treating you?

Well, today there was a rousing debate
about inflation versus liquidity...

...which Isabel settled by
calling Warren Buffett.

Apparently, he's her godfather.

Hey, um, so the other night--
Seeing you was really nice.

I know the first leg of the Dan-Serena
"let's be friends" tour...

...was a disaster, but....

Well, we were young and stupid then.
Now we're older and wiser.

You have to help me
destroy Chuck Bass.

-I'll take that as my cue to leave.
-You're very perceptive.

Dan, wait. If you're having a problem,
a man's perspective could be helpful.

Just because you two are making
an attempt at being friends...

-...doesn't mean I play the enabler.
-Blair, come on.

[SIGHS]

If you're plotting against Chuck Bass,
I'm sure I could think of something.

Fine. I have an itch
that only Chuck can scratch...

...and he won't oblige
unless I tell him I love him.

You need help getting Chuck
to sleep with you? Really?

You hear the judgment
in his voice, right?

-He's working on that.
-Yeah. You're right, I'm sorry.

No judgment, only help.

-So do you love him?
-No, no. Of course not.

Then why don't you just say it?
Guys have been doing that since forever.

I can't. If I say it, then Chuck wins.

Right, but if you say it,
then you get him, and you win.

No, I lose. See?
This is totally pointless.

I was thinking I would disappear
and give him a taste of life without me.

No, no, no. That's a terrible idea.
Don't disappear. Become unavoidable.

Chuck may be a deviant,
but he's still a man.

Drive him crazy. Wear him down.

You should be good at that.

-Look who finally got a little interesting.
-I'm sure it's a fluke.

See? Isn't this nice?

Eck. Even broken up,
you guys make me nauseous.

Jenny.

I am so sorry about today with Robert.

I know you wanted
to be at that meeting.

-It's okay.
-I've just been so on edge.

These meetings with these buyers
have not been going the way I expected.

I don't understand.
The runway show went so well.

That's this season.
They want next season.

Fortunately, Robert did see one dress
that he was very fond of.

-I didn't know you started next season.
-I haven't.

He loved the dress
that you are wearing.

Barneys and Bendel's are tomorrow.
I have to have something to show them.

Ahem, um....

You could show them this dress.

Well, if you're offering....

I do think that it would be good
for both of us.

Right, because then I could
be in those meetings?

Absolutely.
When those buyers leave here...

...they will know
the name Jenny Humphrey.

So you are going to have to remake
that dress in my fabrics, of course.

Um....

Eleanor, the meeting's tomorrow.
I don't even have the pattern.

I'd have to take the whole thing apart
and completely make a new one.

You expect me
to reschedule Barneys and Bendel's?

Okay. I guess I better get to it.

Yeah.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

-Wanna get a drink?
-Wanna say those three little words?

-No.
-Then no drink.

Why? Scared you won't be able
to handle it?

GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted: Upper East Side beauty...

...laying down the gauntlet
for her favorite beast.

But careful, princess.

It's gonna take more than a little leg
to get this prince to ravish you.

CHUCK:
I'll have one drink with you...

...unless you can convince me
why I should stay, of course.

Just because we've reached
an impasse on a certain issue...

...doesn't mean we can't be friends.

So ever since Charlize Theron
became the face of Dior...

...I've wanted to change
my signature scent.

I've been trying out a new one.
I can't decide if I like it.

Would you mind?

It smells a little like desperation.

Yeah, well, I'll just keep on looking.
Thank you. You've been very helpful.

To friendship.

Oh, oops.

I am so sorry.

Let me help you with that.

I gave you a shot,
and while your efforts were admirable...

...I'm bored, and you ruined my pants.

Good night, Blair.

SERENA:
Hi, I'm looking for Dan Humphrey.

MAN: Uh, yeah, he's here
with Vanessa somewhere.

Café, maybe?

Uh, wait.

What do you think?
If no one comes to the show...

...you might be the only one
who ever reads it.

Well, I don't know much about art...

...but I do know a lot
about spelling, so, um....

Oh, no.

Maybe you should've
had someone proofread it...

-...before you stuck it to the wall.
-Are you kidding?

Where did I mess up?
I went over it 100 times.

I'm kidding.

[CHUCKLING]

Wow. You haven't said your name.
You're already humiliating me.

-I'm sorry about that.
-Good, so you'll stop abusing me.

No, but I will introduce myself.

-I am Serena.
-Aaron.

Aar-- Oh, Aaron.
Then, you're the artist.

Yeah.

I have to meet Rufus
at the storage space. He is stressing.

His eye starts to twitch,
break out Valium.

Too late.
He's been winking since lunch.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

-Caterer thought he was hitting on him.
-Hey, could you get that for me?

It's, uh, Blair.

-Since when does she call you?
-Oh, uh....

I'm helping her with this thing.

-I gotta take this. Sorry.
-Right.

-Hello?
-I just wanted to thank you...

...for encouraging me
to throw myself at Chuck.

I can skip dinner
now that I'm so full on humiliation.

Chuck was completely unmoved.

You sure he wasn't just acting
like it didn't work?

Unfortunately, there was no
hard evidence of that. Literally.

I didn't even get a chance to show him
my necklace tangled up in my hair.

The nape of the neck
is Chuck's kryptonite.

Oh, that's good to know.
So he just got up abruptly and he left?

Like a Bass out of hell.

Then you got him where you want him.
He's headed home. Intercept him.

I'll let you know what happens.

Oh, please don't.

[SERENA LAUGHING
OVER LOUDSPEAKER]

So I don't get it. Where's the mic?

Hidden. There's a bunch
all around the gallery.

I hope people only have nice things
to say about you and your show.

Because you're gonna hear them.

Well, I guess you'll have to come
and find out.

Serena, hey.

-You been here long?
-Oh, no. Not that long.

Okay. You hungry? We should get going.
See you later, Aaron.

-Yeah, you two have fun on your date.
-Oh, no, it's not a date.

Yeah, no, we're just frie--

We used to date,
but we're friends now.

[CHATTERING]

[BLACK KIDS' "PARTIE TRAUMATIC"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

JENNY: I should get back.
AGNES: Dude, Eleanor's a sl*ve driver...

...but don't worry. I'll get you home
in time to get all your work done.

MAN:
Ladies.

By the way, I love your dress.

I've been coveting it all day.
Who makes it?

I mean,
it's definitely not Eleanor Waldorf.

Not yet.

Um, no, I made it, actually.

No way. Okay, no,
now I am wearing it. Come on.

What am I gonna wear?

[GIGGLES]

Jenny, this is Max. Max, Jenny.

-Hi.
MAX: Hey, what's happening?

I cannot believe you told Blair
to go to my house to seduce Chuck.

I would've sent her to my place,
but it might be awkward...

-...with Nate on the couch.
-Yeah. How's that been, with Nate?

Oh, it's been good, actually.
It's been really good.

I don't think I ever realized
how much he--

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Is this the third time Blair's texted me?

Uh, fifth, actually, I think.

Oh, she wants to know
if I have candles. Ew. No.

I'm sorry, go on.

I was just saying,
I don't think I ever realized--

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Is this driving you crazy too?

No, no, it's fine.

Hmm, she's getting c*ck now.

[PRINCESS 1 POINT 5'S "WITH LIGHT
THERE IS HOPE" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]

What are you doing, Blair?

Oh....

Serena knew how upset I was.

She didn't want me to be alone,
so she invited me to sleep over.

Go away, Chuck.

It's pointless. I'm not gonna say it.

I don't care.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[CONTINUES RINGING]

Ignore it.

[BLAIR GRUNTING]

Give it.

You almost had me, Blair. Almost.

[MAD STARING EYES' "WALKING IN THE
STREETS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Hey, you b*tch.

No, no, no, you are a b*tch.

Must've taken, like,
a million pictures tonight.

It's what I do.

I like photographing you, though.

Okay, that was Trish and Saskia,
and they just got off work...

-...so they wanna meet up now.
-Cool.

Uh, no, Agnes, I gotta go.
I have so much work it's not even funny.

No, this is work. I mean,
Trish and Saskia are the hottest stylists.

She's right. You should meet these girls.
They do editorial for Nylon and Paper.

-I mean, it sounds awesome--
AGNES: No, listen, sweetie.

Just come, say hi for, like,
five minutes. It's nothing.

You can sleep
when you're dead, baby.

Which is gonna be tomorrow,
when Eleanor kills me.

I'm sorry. I am gonna have to pull
an all-nighter as it is.

I have to go.

All right, suit yourself.

JENNY:
Agnes.

Agnes, you have my dress.

Excuse me. I need.... Excuse me.

Excuse me. Agnes!

Uh, heh.

[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]

AGNES [ON RECORDING]: This is Agnes.
You know what to do, b*tches.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Sorry, J, but in the real world...

...you can't take
a note to the principal...

...when the drunken model
eats your homework.

-Agnes, I'm gonna k*ll you.
-No, dude, I know, trust me.

I'm sorry.
I just got all of your messages.

Here, take the dress, and....

I don't think that you should
give this to Eleanor.

My friends,
they freaked over it last night.

Great. I don't care.

Okay, seriously,
you work your a*s off, and for what?

So Eleanor can rip off your ideas?

No, Eleanor promised I could be
in the meetings with the buyers today.

Just like she introduced you
to the guy from Bloomingdale's.

Look, come here, okay?

-No, stop.
-Jenny, come here.

Agnes-- Oh, my God,
I don't have time for this. What?

Just look at this, okay?

I mean, seriously,
this could be an ad campaign.

-Yeah, it does look pretty cool.
-I mean, right?

And look, you can do whatever
you want to do, but, I mean...

...what do you think people will say
when they see Jenny Humphrey's...

...finally gone out on her own?

I don't know. "Jenny Humphrey's
so young to have her own line."

Or, "Too bad Jenny Humphrey's stuff
looks exactly like Eleanor Waldorf's."

Blair Waldorf in Brooklyn.

-Are you two lost?
-Will you talk to her, please?

There's nothing to talk about.
It's over.

She stopped listening to me.
Maybe she'll listen to you.

-Sure.
-I'm gonna go check out the art.

In the art gallery.

Talk.

Oh, she's back.

Wow, this is looking complicated.

Don't worry.

You walk in on surgery halfway through,
it looks like m*rder.

-Can I help?
-You know how to weld?

Um, I've seen Flashdance
several times.

You have been toying with each other
forever. So you didn't win this one.

-Maybe you should just let it go.
-This is different.

Why?

Do you love him?

Wow. Someone loves Chuck Bass.

I don't know. I just....

I-- I don't understand
how it got to this place.

You know, the first time
I told Serena I loved her...

...it was terrifying.
I've never felt so exposed.

But the feeling that I got
when she said it back to me...

...was probably the single
greatest moment of my life.

But you broke up.

Yeah. Doesn't mean I wouldn't
do it all over again.

If I say it, he wins. And if he wins...

...then I'll just be another girl to him.

You don't know that that's true.

You have to decide what's important.
Keeping your pride and getting nothing...

...or taking a risk and maybe,
maybe having everything.

Well, I almost lost a finger
in the process...

...and I might be permanently
cross-eyed, but I did it.

Thank you.

You look like hell,
you should go home.

Uh....

The buyers are gonna be here
any minute.

Yeah, I know. That's why I'm gonna
need every moment alone...

...to figure out what the hell am I going
to do. This dress is a mess.

It's not my finest work.
I wouldn't call it a mess.

The seams aren't finished,
the zipper gapes.

And-- And you finished the hem
on the machine.

I told you once the machine ate
my fabric I had to start all over.

Stop lying to me.

I know where you were last night.

Laurel caught the interns
looking at pictures...

...of you and Agnes
out at some trashy bar.

Look, I'm sorry.
I thought I could still get it done in time.

You wanna be a grown-up
and have a real job...

...you have to accept
real responsibility.

And the consequences for your actions
when you don't come through.

I should have known better than to give
so much responsibility to a child.

A child?

I'm sorry. But this child
seems to be the only one...

...that can design anything that the
buyers are remotely interested in.

This is not about that dress.
You are using that dress as an excuse.

You are scared that
if I meet someone important...

...that they will want to be
in business with me and not you.

You are lucky I don't fire you
this minute.

You are lucky that I don't just quit.
Because then what would you do?

Go on home. I'll see you Monday.

-Can I at least have my dress back?
-Sure.

It's of no use to me, anyway. Here.

Heh.

I don't mean this one.

You touch this dress, you will never
set foot in here again.

GOSSIP GIRL: Sometimes
the most important thing to know...

...is when to get out...

...and when to give in.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[CHATTERING]

DAN:
So I'd say this was a success.

RUFUS:
Yeah. Yeah.

Makes me realize what a bust
all my other openings were.

Well, I'm gonna let you bask
in your glory because Serena's here a--

And she brought Blair. Again.

That's the second time that girl
was here today.

You're not--

I'm not what? Oh, no, no, no. I'm not--
I mean, Serena wants us to get along.

But not like that.

No. That would, uh--
That would be sick.

Tell Serena you're not interested
in being friends with Blair.

We just started hanging out again.
I don't wanna rock the boat.

Hey.

This is a huge turnout.
Aaron must be so thrilled.

And your dad.

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty exciting.

I thought you were gonna be
with Chuck. What happened?

She is but she told him
to meet her here.

She needed some moral support.

Yes, "she" is freaking out.
She needs a drink.

Let me see what I can do
about that for her.

First, Nate's a part of the family. Then
I see you've invited Blair to my opening?

-Seriously?
-I'm sorry. I know. I didn't invite her.

But Serena and Blair tend
to be a package deal.

And-- I don't know. I've recently sort of
seen another side to her and--

-I mean, she's not that bad.
-Are you kidding?

You're talking about Blair.

She and Chuck used me as catnip
for one of their games.

And what they did
was really messed up.

I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?

Truthfully? I was embarrassed.

And the weird part is that Chuck wound
up being the more human of the two.

At least he felt a little bad about it.
Not her.

What?

No, it's just-- I can't believe I allowed
myself to be sucked in by Blair Waldorf.

What do you think?

I think that you are officially
a successful artist.

Well, thank you.

They say success is nothing
without someone to share it with.

They do say that.

So who are you planning
to share it with?

My dad. My Nana. My dog Mookie.

Named by Nana.
She's a huge Mets fan.

And, uh, you. You-- I was hoping you.

Maybe dinner?

Um....

Sorry, I, um-- I'm not really dating
right now.

Ah. Yes, the vague and unsatisfying
I'm-not-dating-right-now response.

I know it well.

Usually I'm giving it. Not getting it.

Sorry.

Yeah, I can tell.

Which is why I'm going to give you
a second chance.

If you can tell me the fate of Cecil the
Caterpillar, I will go out with you.

Okay, I don't really date crazy people
who speak in riddles.

Just think about it.

And when you figure it out, I'm yours.

Chuck just texted me,
he wants to meet me on the roof.

-The roof?
-Well, if he doesn't say it back...

...then I can just jump.
Then he'll be really sorry.

Oh, no, don't do it, B. You don't want
your obit to say you died in Brooklyn.

-Wish me luck.
-Good luck.

DAN:
Hey, stay there.

-Blair, I need to talk to you.
-I can't. Chuck's waiting for me.

I know. It's about that.
Just, um, you know, be careful.

Why? You said to be
the opposite of careful.

-You told me to take a risk.
-Right. I know. But I-- It was bad advice.

I was thinking of how things
were for Serena and me.

We're talking about Chuck.
Not the same.

Yes, it is. And it's gonna be okay.

Well, maybe.

Just before you say anything,
make sure he's done playing games.

He is. Now, if you'll excuse me.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

-Hey.
-Hey.

-I didn't know you guys were coming.
-I'm gonna say hey to Aaron.

Okay. Yeah, Max knows Aaron from
RISD so he wanted to come and say hi.

And I wanted to see you after hearing
about your crazy stunt with Eleanor.

Yeah, I'm actually just about
to go tell my dad about that one.

Before you do, guess what?

The editor from Nylon saw
the photos from last night.

He wants to do a feature on you
as a designer to watch.

Agnes, since I quit Eleanor's...

...I'm an unemployed,
home-schooled, 15-year-old.

-I'm not even an intern to watch.
-Dude, relax.

Max and I were just talking about it.

-You should do your own clothing line.
-Yeah, sure.

With no money, no contacts,
nobody knows who I am.

-Sounds like a fast track to success.
-Stop coming up with reasons not to.

And just make some more dresses.

I can model them,
Max will do some photos.

I mean, you can totally do this.

You really think so?

Yes. Now, you're gonna come
with me to this party...

...and meet this editor,
because he's dying to meet you.

So are you my b*tch, or what?

-I am. Heh, heh. I am totally your b*tch.
-Good.

NATE:
Jenny, hey. Hey, wait up.

-Are you taking off already?
-My friends are going to a party.

Oh, I didn't know.
I was hoping we could hang out.

-There's always tomorrow at the loft.
-Really? I kind of doubt that.

You're always working.
Like last night. And the night before.

Well, I actually quit Eleanor's.

You quit Eleanor's?

That job was everything to you.

I know. It might sound crazy but I'm
actually thinking of starting my own line.

Really? What does your dad think
about that?

Okay, um.

I was hoping for a-- More of like a...

..."Congratulations, Jenny,"
or at least a monosyllabic "Wow."

I mean-- Come on, Jenny, do you really
think you can start your own business?

AGNES:
You coming, Jen?

Uh, yeah. I'll be right there.

Hey, how old is that guy?

Okay, that guy's name is Max,
and he went to RISD with Aaron...

...and he's a photographer
who's going to sh**t my line.

Look, I gotta go.
My friends are waiting for me so--

I guess if my dad asks,
tell him I'm at Eleanor's.

Wai--

Brooklyn.

At least it will be memorable.

I'm sorry but don't you have something
you wanna say to me?

Yes.

This is so silly.

What does it matter?
Why don't we just say it together?

Because that wasn't the deal.

Why does everything
have to be a deal?

Because we made it one.

What's going on, Blair?

You told me you had something
to say to me. Say it.

Why do I have to be the one
to go first?

I was the one who waited on
that helipad for you.

-I went to Tuscany alone.
-That's ancient history.

I was the one who asked you
to say it first.

At the White Party?

When you were on your way out
with the Count?

Did you think
I was going to say it then?

Yes. And when you didn't,
I wanted to die.

Don't tell me you brought me
to Brooklyn for this.

I thought you were ready to tell me how
you felt. It was another of your games.

My games?

You're the one who started this.

And you're the one who finished it.

Great. Have a good night.

Hey, excuse me.
I don't think we've met yet.

-Nate.
-Aaron.

-Nice to meet you.
-Pleasure.

That guy Max that was here earlier,
he a friend of yours?

-Yeah, yeah. I know him from school.
-Yeah? What's his deal?

Max's deal?

He's a great guy. As long as he's
not dating your little sister.

I gotta say hello to somebody.
Thank you for stopping by.

-I appreciate it. Thanks.
-Cool. Great work.

Excuse me.

-Hey, B, what happened?
-It was a disaster, okay?

-I'm leaving.
-I'll come.

No, it's fine. You stay.

I just have to get out of here now.

Hey. Hey, do you know what happened?
Why is Blair so upset?

Look, Blair and Chuck were going
to self-destruct at some point.

So I may have helped it along.

Wait, you intentionally
sabotaged Blair?

I know you're upset.
That was not my intention.

I found out that they
screwed over Vanessa.

Whatever they did, that's different. This
is about people who love each other.

Blair and Chuck? Come on.

I thought you wanted to help Blair.

I did this for you.
I don't care about Blair Waldorf.

-All of this is-- It's a game to her.
-No. In this case, it's not.

Blair loves Chuck.
She's just been too scared to admit it.

I told her to talk to you because
I thought you would help her be brave.

These are amazing.

Thank you.

Good thing you like them, because soon
it'll be shots of you and your clothes.

Hi.

If you guys wanna be alone,
that's cool. I can call later.

Why would we wanna be alone?

I don't know, you said we were gonna
go to a party. It's getting kind of late.

Well, nobody goes
until midnight, anyway.

Right.

[TATU'S "HOW SOON IS NOW?"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

I love this song.

Yeah. Come on.

Yeah, come on.

Okay.

Hey, Chuck. Hey, wait a second. Come
on, don't act like you didn't hear me.

I heard you.
I was just choosing to ignore you.

Well, don't. What just
happened with you and--

-It's none of your business.
-No, it is, actually.

Look, I don't know how you feel about
her, but I know how she feels about you.

And she was going to tell you
until I stopped her.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, my God. Agnes.

Oh, come on, now it's your turn.

Uh, yeah, no way.

Why not? Because of Max?

No. I don't know. It's just weird.

Well, no, it's not. He doesn't care.
He's a photographer.

Come on, are you afraid that Eleanor
Waldorf's gonna find out and get mad?

-Fine.
AGNES: Yeah, do it for Eleanor.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Who's at the door?

Wait, Agnes, are you crazy?
Don't answer it.

GOSSIP GIRL:
What have we here?

Jenny Humphrey caught in her knickers
by Nate, her knight in shining Armani.

Nate, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?
Come on, let's go.

-No.
-That's so sweet.

Sweetie, I told you he liked you.
I totally called that one.

Yeah, you did. Dude, relax. Nothing's
going on here. Take a picture.

Yeah, I'm not leaving with you.

Then I can wait.

Fine.

-Sorry.
NATE: Come on.

Serena, hey.

Serena. Hey, look, I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry. I was out of line.

Yeah, you were.

I'm sorry Blair and Chuck
messed with Vanessa.

She doesn't deserve that.
But instead of hurting Blair...

-...you should've been honest with me.
-It's about what happened...

...with Amanda. I was worried
what would happen if we fought.

-I really want this to work with us.
-Yeah, me too.

But it's not going to
if we can't talk to each other.

Yeah. You're right. Okay. So let's talk.
Let's be friends.

Well, there was something
I wanted to tell you.

Aaron asked me out.

But I said no because I wasn't sure
how you would feel.

But I kind of want to say yes.

Wow, look at that, just diving
into the deep end of honesty.

-Head first.
-Look, I like Aaron.

He's a good guy,
so you have my blessing.

-If that's what you're looking for.
-Well, he does seems nice.

And even though we just met
I feel like I've known him--

-Oh, my God.
-What?

-Cecil the Caterpillar. Camp Suisse.
-I'm-- Did you--

Are you having a seizure?
You're speaking in tongues.

No, I'm sorry. I just realized
that I do know Aaron.

We went to summer camp together.

And there was this song about
Cecil the Caterpillar.

I can't believe I didn't recognize him.

Oh, wow, you went to camp
in Europe together.

-That's cute.
-No, it was much more than just camp.

We got married. There was
a small ceremony with licorice rings...

...on the banks of Lake Geneva.
It was tasteful.

What happened?

Well, I took a bite out of my ring,
so he asked for a divorce.

But we were happy for a time.

I can't believe this.
I have to go find him.

Do you mind?

Oh, no. Of course not. No.
I have to find Vanessa, anyway.

Look, he's the ex-husband,
I'm just the ex-boyfriend.

GOSSIP GIRL:
The problem with fairytales is that...

...they set a girl up for disappointment.

In real life, the prince goes off
with the wrong princess.

Or the spell wears off and two lovers
realize they're better off as--

Well, whatever they are.

Are you here to gloat?

Over what?

Well, you won.

-Pop the champagne.
-I didn't win.

Then why does it feel like I lost?

The reason we can't say those three
words isn't because they aren't true.

Then why?

I think we both know...

...that the moment we do...

...it won't be the start
of something, it'll be the end.

Think about it.

Chuck and Blair going to the movies?

Chuck and Blair holding hands?

We don't have to do those things.

-We can do the things that we like.
-What we like is this.

The game.

Without it, I'm not sure
how long we'd last.

It'd just be a matter of time
before we messed it all up.

Look, I'd rather wait.

And maybe in the future....

I suppose there could be some
excruciating pleasure in that.

How could you do that to me?

What are you talking about?
You're lucky I showed up.

-That was a bad scene, Jenny.
-No, it wasn't.

We were dancing around in our
underwear, not making porno.

-Not yet, anyway.
-No, not ever.

I would never let myself get in a
situation like that.

-I know what I'm doing.
-You think you do.

But that guy was
taking advantage of you.

You are not my father and you are not
my brother. So why do you care?

Because.

GOSSIP GIRL:
But I'll confess...

...every once in a while
a girl craves her fairytale ending.

So sleep tight, kiddies, it seems
like little J got her happily ever after.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.