2x24 - Valley Girls

[bunniefuu]

And who am i? That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o.

, Gossip girl.

You ask yourself where do we go from here life is so strange destination unknown when you don't know your destination and something could change rhodes records.

Rick rhodes' office.

Hi.

Is he in? It's lily.

Who? His daughter? Oh.

Ahem.

One moment, please.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Hey, lil.

Long time, babe.

Hi, dad.

I know, um, which is why I was hoping that we could, like, catch up or something.

There's so much to talk about.

Is there any way tha you can, uh, have lunch? You're in l.

A.

? Why aren't you in santa barbara? In school? Well, we can make I a dinner if that's better for you.

I'm leaving for london.

But, lil, what's going on? Geoffrey's? Your regular table? Great.

Okay, see you then.

Love you.

Mrs.

Bass? We're here.

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

Serena's been in jail for over four hours.

She's already served more time than nicole richie and lindsay lohan combined.

She's a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet.

I doubt they're working her over with the phone book.

When I called lily, she said she was on her way.

Where is she? I just can' believe she had her own daughter arrested.

I mean, who does that? Someone who's never been arrested.

Hello.

I'm lilian bass.

I'm here for my daughter, serena van der woodsen.

So was lily blown away? Well, not really.

Yeah, he never actually, uh proposed.

Minor detail in a proposal.

Kinda the key ingredient to the recipe.

So he came home and went into his room.

Uh, we haven't seen him since.

Ahem.

Hey, dad.

Oh, so prom tomorrow nigh what do you say? We stay in, watch some scary movies? The scarier the better.

Absolutely.

You guys are the gossip girl generation.

Don't expect me to believe you're not interested in this gossip.

Uh, nope.

Only interested in my nim chow.

So to add to the lily intrigue or possibly help explain I I got a weird call about your investment.

The money's gone.

It's over.

Really? 'Cause, uh, serena had a plan to get it all back.

It's no, lily had a plan of her own.

Well, that's what I was hoping.

Yeah, she had serena arrested.

What? Wwhy? I suggest you kids stay out of it.

Let these van der woodsen women fight it out themselves.

Wow.

You forced me to do this.

I just hope you learned your lesson.

That my mom's crazier than I ever imagined? Well, no crazier than you, my daughter, thinking you could fix this situation yourself.

I was fixing this, but then you were too worried wha people would think.

When you're a mother, you will understand that you have to make decisions that don't always win you points for popularity.

When I'm a mother, I will be nothing like you.

Yes, you say that now, but just wait.

I would rather give my kids up for adoption than end up like you.

Oh, wait.

You did that.

I came down here to drop the charges and put this behind us.

Please show a little respect, and I will stick with my plan.

I'll just stick to mine.

If you didn't notice, you weren't my phone call.

Oh, so who was? She called me, darling.

Ironic, isn't it? If only she knew.

Hey, grandma.

For those who complain about the youth of today, if you think we're bad, you should've seen our parents.

I don't care how much ahmet wants to give him.

The guy can't sing.

I'll pay for his publishing.

Goodbye.

Hey, beautiful.

You get lost? I'm sorry I'm late.

I couldn't find parking.

That's what the valet's for.

Right, bu it also costs $2, and I just spent that on gas.

Here to hit dad up for some cash? What? No.

So, um, christmas was weird without you.

You know how importan the fourth quarter is to retail.

Somebody's gotta keep tower records in business.

But I was sorry I couldn't be there.

Yeah um, about that I'm not a headshrinker or anything, but I do think the sudden uprooting of my family from new york, coupled with my parents' tumultuous divorce may have contributed to some recent difficulties that I might be having.

You got kicked out of boarding school.

What? Wait, wait.

How did you know that? She told me.

Mom.

Hello, lily.

What are you doing here? If it was up to your father, they'd stop me at the county line, but santa barbara's really only a prison in my mind, good to see you, cece.

Wish I could say the same, richard.

You hung up the phone with me, and you called her? You didn't even give me a chance to explain.

That's because he would have to parent, and we know he always leaves bad cop to me.

Punishing loved ones jus comes so much more naturally to some people.

Excuse me.

May I have a gin and tonic? No tonic.

I come with some good news.

You're letting me live with dad? No way.

That's exactly what I was gonna say.

My bags are in the car.

And can I have the room that overlooks the tennis courts? I love that room.

Thank you for coming all the way down here, mom, but I think this is all worked out, right? Richard? Lily, that sounds so good.

It's jus actually, your father did make a call to the school.

I told 'em what had been happening at home, about your sister taking off, your mother and I splitting up.

I explained that it was an isolated, uncharacteristic act of rebellion.

They're willing to turn your expulsion into a suspension.

What? You can be back on monday.

But I wanted to get expelled.

Lily, whatever for? That school has everything.

Everything except for dad.

You're living this amazing new life here, and I'm just scared that by the time I graduate, I won't be a part of it anymore.

And what if you forget about me? Lil, you do not have to ever worry about that.

I just have a lo going on right now with work.

I can't give you the time, the supervision that you need.

Just like clockwork.

Okay.

Dad.

I'm late.

I've gotta pack, get to the airport.

Put lunch on my account.

I'll talk to you soon.

Dad, no.

Why do you always have to do that? Dad.

Thank you.

Please don't walk away.

You need to be with your mother, lil, out of the city, in school.

We can't let you turn out like your sister.

Carol? Yeah, I think we can all agree on that front.

She ran away from our family, and for what? To become an actress, which is a completely unrealistic goal.

I mean, yeah, she was pretty good as abigail in the crucible, bu what was that, like, 11th grade? Anyway, the point is I'm not carol.

I don't crave adventure or the freedom to walk my own path.

I'm perfectly comfortable with the path that you guys have laid out for me.

Go home, lil.

Dad, you have a gian house.

I won't be any trouble.

I'll call you when I get back from london.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Lily, it's over.

Let's go home.

I'll follow you back.

See you at home.

Eric and I had the most invigorating walk from the hotel.

You know, grandma is deceptively quick.

Oh, she's probably racing back to that bottle of gin she has hidden under the sink in the bathroom.

Zing.

Good morning to you as well.

What are you doing here, mother? I don't remember inviting you as our guest.

I know I haven't called you, and I'm positive you haven' so much as received a christmas card or fruitcake at the holiday.

Well, you can be thankful for the last one.

What have I done to earn your ire, my dear? Well, let me think for a second.

Maybe telling rufus about our child? I'm sorry if I thought it appropriate that rufus learns he has a son.

Uh, you mean had.

He died.

Oh.

I had no idea.

Imagine, something you don't know.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take serena breakfast in bed so I can start the healing with my daughter.

Uh, you might want to put a hold on the healing.

Serena's not in her room.

What? I thought she was coming home with you.

Where is she? Why are you still in jail? It's my choice.

Oh, god.

You're no gonna come out of there with a mullet and a girlfriend, are you? My mother didn't think that I was old enough to make my own decisions, so I decided to stay in jail, and I'm not leaving until she agrees to let me live my own life.

So it's a w*r of attrition.

So to speak.

Except she gets to wage the w*r from the comfor of her penthouse while you remain behind bars.

Look, don't worry about me.

Enjoy prom with nate, like you always planned in that scrapbook that you kept under your bed.

Please.

I don't remember that.

I was a child then.

I should go.

I don't wan to abuse my phone privileges.

The fact tha you're on an actual pay phone has me beyond nauseous.

Stay strong, s.

What's this for? Strength.

You will need.

I have good news and bad news.

Which do you want? Good news first, always.

There is replacement.

What are you talking about? It makes more sense if you pick bad news first.

Your dress for prom.

The dry cleaners they ruined it.

This body bag.

Corpse not pretty.

But there's a replacement.

Back to good news.

This morning it arrived from paris.

Just like in scrapbook.

Oh! It is.

Oh! Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked a since I was an early adolescent.

Oh, iit must be from daddy.

Tonight is going to be magical.

You know, prom hasn' exactly been going as planned.

The florists lost blair's corsage.

Someone bought up all the peonies, and when I called to confirm my limo, it had been rented out by a bachelorette party in jersey.

The heart quickens.

Yeah, well, my hotel room was mysteriously canceled, and now I just found ou blair's dress has been ruined.

How tragic.

I gotta ask am I sabotaging your dream prom? The answer is no, nathaniel.

And I don't know how many times we need to have this conversation.

Blair is yours.

Okay.

Oh, what a restorative nap that was.

I feel so much better.

Well, I'm afraid tha moment is not going to last.

Eric out of earshot? I sent him to a movie with jonathan.

So no one can hear me scream.

You're gonna what, lily, hack me to pieces, suffocate me with a pillow? I am simply and for the las time gonna ask you to leave my home and never come back.

Never is a, uh, very long time, darling.

You are toxic.

I'm your mother.

And a memorable one at that, so much so it seems that try as I might, I can't help turning into you.

Well, maybe that's 'cause you finally are starting to see the wisdom of my ways.

You blame me for everything.

And you accept responsibility for nothing.

You know, maybe carol's right.

The only way to have a normal life is without you in it.

Your sister was rebellious and ungrateful for my love, and look where she ended up.

From where I'm sitting, it doesn't look so bad.

I don't want you meddling with my family or with my love life anymore.

I want you out.

Now.

Hi.

I'm looking for my sister carol.

Carol rhodes.

Uh, I think tha she works here.

Is she in? I'm covering four extra tables today, so that'd be no.

Flaking on work that seems like carol.

Do you know where she might be? Hey! Watch where you're going, spaz.

You almost got udon all over my gucci.

Personally, I don't see it.

See what? The family resemblance.

To carol? Wait.

You know her? Yeah.

Well, do you know where she might be? Trying to work here.

Well, you missed a spot.

It's kinda sticky.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I've had a really rough day.

I got kicked out of school, my dad doesn't want me to live with him, I can't stand my mom, I spent the last $9 that I had on gas, and so now I'm broke and I'm homeless, and unless I can find my sister, who I basically haven't talked to in, like, a year, I'm gonna have to become a prost*tute.

And I don't even know how to be a prost*tute.

I mean, really, how much small talk is required? And where do you even go? And are b.

J.

S a must? Because if that's the case, I am so not doing that.

Not that any of tha information is relevan unless you're a john.

Not a john.

Owen.

Lily.

There's a gig at the 607 tonight.

Chances are your sister will be there.

My friend's kinda dating her.

If you wanna go on a double date? With a guy that I just met five minutes ago? You could be a psycho.

My shift ends in ten.

Probably see your sister.

Don't want to come, I'll give her your regards and summarize the whole, uh, prost*tute thing.

I could change.

I have my suitcase in the car.

Yeah.

I'm just guessing, but I don't think that's gonna work.

You should try something like this.

Your sister's always changing for auditions and stuff.

Wow.

She's really changed.

I can't believe that she has this.

We went ice skating at rockefeller center.

She snuck me out of the house.

We took a bus across town.

My mom was so furious.

It was so much fun.

We were, like, best friends.

You can go now.

Already out the door.

Oh, hello, daniel.

Hey.

So, uh, look, I'm really sorry to bother you, but I can't leave serena one more message and still call myself a man.

Not that it's exactly manly to be calling her mother, but iiii really need to know, uh, how mad is she? Oh, ii wouldn't worry.

She hasn't gotten your messages.

They take your cell phone away when you're in jail.

Wait.

She's still in jail? Hey.

I think I need a dress for prom.

Okay.

But you're gonna have to wear your own shoes.

On the floors of tokyo adown in london town's a gogo awith the record selection and the mirror's reflection I'm adancing with myself oh, oh, dancing with myself oh, oh, dancing with myself if I had the chance, I'd ask one to dance if I had the chance, I'd ask one to dance ow oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, dancing with myself oh, oh, dancing with myself oh, oh, dancing with myself get out, perv! Sorry.

You're taking long enough.

Do I looks like I'm wearing a halloween costume? No.

You look good.

Is this the momen where you fall in love with me? Oh, it is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.

Are you coming or not? ? If I had the chance, I'd ask one to dance? Hello.

I'd like to drop the charges agains serena van der woodsen.

There's been a terrible misunderstanding.

Well, you can talk to someone about the charges, but your daughter's gone.

Oh, oh, dancing with myself oh, oh, dancing with myself, oh, oh stand and deliver! I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention the devil take your stereo and your record collection the way you look you qualify for next year's oldage pension stand and deliver your money or your life try and use a mirror no b*llet or knife I'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion wow, you're, like, really popular around here.

Yeah, when you don' have a lot of family at home, you gotta find it somewhere else.

Nothing is worth taking? It's kind of tough to tell a scruff the big mistake he's making, stand and deliver your money or your life it's kinda cool, right? Sure.

Yeah, cool place to catch hepatitis.

Owen! Missed our set, man! It was awesome.

It was like it was wicked! Ha ha! Shep, hey.

Hey, who's the betty? This your new girl? No.

No.

We're looking for her sister.

No time to talk, guys.

Your needs are gonna have to wait.

I have a plan.

Actually, you know, it's more than a plan.

It's a mission.

Bu it's not just about me.

It's about my lady.

She's been wronged, and I'm gonna make it right.

What did they do to your lady, tattoo the wrong butt cheek? Randy walter sheppard! My 20s are ticking away as we speak, and we gotta go now! Carol! Carol? Lily? What are you doing here? What are you guys doing with my sister? Whoa.

Wait.

She's your sister? She's your lady? Kind of.

No! Lily, oh, my god.

It's so good to see you.

How do you know owen? I'm so sorry I haven't written more or called, like, ever.

Are you totally mad? Wait.

What are you doing in l.

A.

? Is something wrong? Is everything okay? Yeah.

No, not really.

I have to talk to you about something, and it's kind of major.

Okay, and I wanna hear abou it, I mean, totally there for you, but right now I have to handle something, and it cannot wait.

I know.

Neither can this.

We'll talk in the car.

To the impala.

To the what? Where? The mission is on the move.

Oh, my god, lily.

It's so good to see you.

I've missed you.

Are you wearing my dress? ? Stand and deliver? Your money or your life oh, my god.

Look at this place.

I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight, no effort required.

Voil? Vote for prom king and queen? We don't do prom queen.

That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them.

We're doing it this year.

There's a tiara and everything.

A tiara? But if you don't wan to vote for yourselves we were nominated.

Let's see.

I mean, of course we were.

Aw, you guys, I think I'm getting sentimental.

It's true.

This is probably our last huddle.

Yeah, if you do this stuff in college, people think you're pathological.

Come on, ladies.

Let's commit election fraud.

I can't wait to see blair's face when she loses prom queen to nelly.

And look, ii know this thing with your mom took on a life of its own, but I just want to say that I'm sorry for starting it in the first place.

It was just really upsetting that you went to her without giving me a warning.

I know, and normally I would never do something like this, but lily is not like other parents.

With good judgment, morals and maternal instinct? And when she said tha she was gonna take care of it, I never imagined that you'd end up incarcerated.

The most frustrating part is she thinks she did take care of it.

Hey, soldier, eyes up front.

Well, I'm, uh, I'm glad you let me bail you ou or let me call cece to, 'cause missing your prom just to spite your own mother is kinda something only she would do, yeah.

Thank you for getting me to see that, and thank you for breaking the cycle of crazy.

So what happened to the beemer that mom and dad got you? Oh, I sold it.

For this? As if.

I gave it to this guy.

He had this really amazing idea.

It goes around your waist like a bel so you can pu stuff in it, like a purse.

Wow.

That's a really sound investment.

What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.

Nothing.

It just your life isn' exactly how you described.

You told mom that you were making it out in l.

A.

I am making it.

This is what making it looks like before you've totally made it.

Carol, I've always though that you were really, really talented.

It's just is it really worth living your life, you know like this? Well, it's not forever.

Not once we ge shep's music video on mtv.

I'm totally the star.

A music video equals national exposure.

It's the birth of a new art form.

Really? Shep's band? Okay, I know you probably wouldn't think so having met shep, bu they're actually kinda great.

Well, if they're so great, then why don't you give their demo to dad? Because he's dad, and I'm doing this on my own.

Listen, don't tell anybody about who we are.

Especially them.

Why do you care what they think? And besides, being us is awesome.

All that money comes with strings attached, lily.

People treat you differently.

Yeah, better.

Wow.

Could you sound any more like mom? Of course I sound like mom.

She's the only female role model I've had since you bailed on us.

Hey.

I think we're here.

I never wanted to be like my mother.

I wanted to be open to life and fearless and not always thinking three steps ahead and consequences and what would people say or what would my father think.

Well, you have, for the most part, with a few notable exceptions.

That beautiful dinner you made you were gonna propose, weren't you? But you didn't.

Because what I did to serena made you fundamentally question the kind of person that I am.

You're unpredictable, that's for sure.

When I was younger, that was damn exciting.

You were always surprising me.

I'm just doomed to repeat my mother's mistakes.

Why do you always have to do that? Dad, wait.

Please don't walk away.

Our mistakes are ours alone to repeat or correct.

I should forgive serena for defying me.

Or first maybe you need to forgive cece.

Oh, my mother doesn't need forgiveness.

She needs electroshock therapy.

You've got good reason to be angry with her those messed up values she passed on to you.

I'll follow you back.

Until you let it go, how can you move forward with your own daughter? Cece's never gonna change, lil.

But you still can.

Thank you, rufus.

I'm glad we can talk, but as for everything else, I just don't know where we stand right now.

Even after 20 years, you're still not sure who I am.

It's not that I'm not sure.

It's just, I think you're still figuring it out.

Ah.

And she sticks the landing.

So is information on this mission revealed on a needtoknow basis? Because I really need to know.

Carol.

The socalled director of our music video took our money and then jacked up his fee, and now he's holding our video hostage, and I am a hostage negotiator.

Yeah, just 'cause this dork's uncle is john landis doesn't mean he's above the law.

No richie rich film school kid rips off me and my girl.

Shep, I'm not your girl.

Right.

She's more like my muse.

Oh, sweet hand towels.

So are we, like, breaking and entering? Seriously? The window was unlocked, so really, it's just entering.

And I thought investing in purse belts was a bad idea.

Thanks, lily.

Since I know how much you love following the rules, why don't you just stay here, far away from the party, where people are actually having fun? Owen, can you keep an eye on her? What? Just because my idea of a good time isn't getting arrested for breaking into some guy's house, I'm automatically a stuckup goody twoshoes? It doesn't exactly make you the life of the party.

Where's the bar? I think it's this way.

You made it! Yeah! There was a last minute change of plans.

Yeah, I sprung her out of the pokey.

You can thank me later.

Well, I just spent ten seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid.

Have fun.

So, you know, not that I imagined, uh, much about my time at prom, but, um it measures up.

Did you ever imagine yourself dancing at prom? That I did.

Well, I am here to make dreams come true.

Come dance with me.

Bailing you out of prison and dancing with you a prom in one night? That's yeah, I'm here to make things interesting.

We can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind 'cause your friends don' dance and if they don't dance ? Well, they're no friends of mine I say, we can go when we want to a place where they will never find and we can act like we come from out of this world leave the real one far behind hey, van der woodsen, you want some? Hey, keith! Surprised to see me? Carol.

Hey.

Wow.

You, uh, you look amazing.

Really? Even more amazing than in the video you won't give us? Look, I'm sorry about that.

I just, uh, I couldn't think of any other way to get you to call me so I could explain you have a girlfriend.

Nothing else to explain.

I just want the video.

Hey.

Who is this? Is she available? Nah, man.

Nah, she, uh, she was just leaving.

No, I wasn't.

We walk together, we're walking down the stree I just can't ge enough, I just can't get enough it's getting hotter it's our burning love, and I just can't seem oh! To get enough, ah oh, is this the momen where you fall in love with me? It is, isn't it? You're totally falling in love with me right now.

Spare me, keith! This is low, even for you.

I can't believe you did this, chuck.

You know how important prom is to me! Blair, what's wrong? I caught him with these.

They're all marked with nelly yuki's name.

He's sabotaging me.

My missing corsage, my dress, the limo and hotel? We paid you 500 bucks to sh**t that thing.

We were friends then.

I was giving you a special rate.

Our relationship's changed now.

You can pay me the balance in cash or I don't know what are you doing saturday? Gross.

My sister would never sleep with you.

Yeah, 'cause she's dating me.

Shep, we're no dating.

We were never dating.

Well, both of you don't know carol very well, 'cause, yeah, she totally slept with me.

Pretty fun, too.

You slept with your music video director? I didn't know he had a girlfriend, and I broke it off as soon as I found out.

But what he wants to charge us? Might as well be a million bucks.

And I know you probably think I should ask mom and dad for the money, but whatever.

I'll think of something.

It's fine.

No, carol.

It's not fine.

Hi.

I'm lily rhodes, and that's my sister, and no one treats us this way.

Okay.

We already called the cops, so you guys are trespassing.

It's cool, okay? We're done here.

Finally.

Take the trash back to the valley.

What did you jus say? What did you just say? Don't you have anything better to do, like get your butt tattooed? The only tattoo I'm getting tonight is your face on my fist.

Ladies, come on.

No need to fight over me.

Okay.

Okay.

How about we just fight you? I got him.

Lily.

Come on.

Go, go, go.

Get 'em! Where do you think you're going? Carol! Oh! Hey! Leave him alone! Aah! Students, if I could have your attention, please.

For the first time ever at constance, our prom queen is I can't believe you're not even defending yourself.

Lie to my face! Blame someone! Something! I'm sorry.

Just one moment.

Seriously? I know how to count.

Our prom queen is blair waldorf.

But that's impossible! Oh, my god.

I won.

This is my moment.

I own prom.

And our king nate archibald.

Oh, my gosh! This is so great! Thank you! Oh.

Thanks.

Thank you, everyone.

Oh, I can't believe blair won.

Yeah, who even voted for her? Me.

About 150 times.

I wasn't putting the nelly yuki ballots in.

I was taking them out.

But wha about what she said you did to her limo and hotel and her corsage? Her new dress looks better without it.

Give this to her.

It's to the penthouse at the plaza.

You didn't think you were the only one who knew about the scrapbook, did you? Chuck, I I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was really sweet.

I just wanted to make sure she had the perfect night.

Your 2009 king and queen! Aw, who knew the motherchucker could also play fairy godmother? But if c.

Just made b.

'S dreams come true, why does it feel like our queen is standing with the wrong king? You can't use the one you already have on file? Wait.

Let me at least fix my makeup.

Are you ready to do the workout? Yeah! Beginner's workout.

Stand with your feet a little more jail? You're in jail? I know, mom.

I'm sorry.

You know, if I was a better mother, I'd leave you in there, teach you a lesson.

You ran away.

You just abandoned me at the side of the road.

You know they only give you one phone call, right? Oh, lily, the hopes and dreams I have for you an ivy league education, life on the upper east side, married to the riches man see, that's the thing, mom those are your hope and your dreams, not mine.

I need to figure ou what what I want, what I need.

Like a parole officer? I'm getting in the car.

You need to be far away from your sister's influence.

Why? What's wrong with carol? The fact that she's independent? That she thinks for herself? That she does what she wants and not what other people tell her to do? How about your spare me the heartache and yourself the humiliation and give up on this failed experiment in rebellion? What if this is not an experiment? What about if this is me growing up? Enough soul searching.

I'm calling your father's lawyer.

We need to keep this thing out of the papers.

Please, mom, I don't need a publicist.

I need my mother.

I'm trying to talk to you here, and you're not hey, mom.

Got a sec? Carol.

This is your chance to be a big sister and finally offer some actual guidance to lily, advice.

Her future's at stake.

Which is why she needs to be far away from you.

This is how it's going to be, mom.

Lily's staying with me for a while.

Carol, just be reasonable.

We both know the firs time that she breaks a nail, rides a city bus or god forbid actually steps foot in a public school, she'll come running home.

Well, that's really up to lily, now isn't it? Just tell her to si tight.

I'm coming for her.

No, mom.

You si tight.

She'll call you later.

Oh, goodness.

Mother.

Mom.

Don't tell me you're chasing me out of town.

I'm fleeing as fast as I can.

Well, please stop.

I'm not going to apologize, but I love you, and I know you love me.

Well, of course I love you, my daughters, my grandchildren.

My only motivation is love.

On the contrary.

Your motives are quite suspect, selfish even.

And you haven' always done what's best for me.

Well, I've done the very best I could.

You think serena's a handful? I would rather have 20 dan humphreys from brooklyn instead of that boy you loved from the valley.

Well, you took care of that, didn't you? And you ended up with serena and eric and the life you deserve.

It wasn't up to you to decide what kind of life I should have.

What else does it mean to be a mother than to make sure tha your child fulfills her destiny? Well, I wanted to create my own destiny.

But that would have meant losing you, and I was always too afraid to do that.

Until this afternoon, evidently.

Mother, please, I'm just asking you to stay.

You know, being a mother myself, I've made mistakes that rival if not outshine your own.

And I forgive you.

Lucky me.

You throw me out of your home, and I get forgiven.

Mother, just say thank you and give me a hug.

I most certainly am not gonna thank you for the terrible things you said.

And as far as the hug goes, well, you've always done exactly as you pleased, haven't you? Hey.

You okay? This is supposed to be the happiest day in high school.

So why do I feel so sad? Like something's ending? Well, something is ending high school.

Not just school.

You're my first love.

Going to my senior prom with you is something I've wanted since I was 12 years old.

And here we are, like it was meant to be.

Yes.

This was supposed to happen.

I'm sure of it.

But now it has and why are you talking in the past tense? We're still here.

I know.

But this nigh already feels like a memory.

Just hold me until the song's over.

Let's not waste these last moments talking about it.

Okay.

But tonight we feel like we're stars we'll play our air guitars, 'cause we're 18 it's a perfect nigh to sing our prom theme hey.

There you are.

Where's the prom king? We broke up.

What? But everything was so perfect.

It was like a fairy tale.

It turns out fairy tales end when they do for a reason.

I really wanted to go to prom with my high school boyfriend.

And now that I have he feels like your high school boyfriend.

I'm sorry.

Me, too that you almost missed prom because your mother had you arrested and your quasi halfbrother/exboyfriend was your prom date.

You know, I actually had a lot of fun tonight.

Dan and I made up, and I know that whatever my mother did, she did out of love.

And right now, I am with exactly who I want to be with my best friend.

So thank you.

Well, it's the least I can do since I got you arrested and everything.

I didn't know you were such a brawler.

Neither did i.

I learned some things last night the biggest one being that I've really missed you.

You are high school to me all of the boyfriends and mean girls and and tests and teachers and our crazy mothers we went through it together.

We raised each other.

You're my sister.

So where's your car? How do you think I got you out of here? You sold your car? What are we gonna do? We're gonna walk? Walking in l.

A.

? Wow, sis.

I have so much more to teach you.

Come on.

It's us.

We travel in style no matter how we travel.

Dootdoo dootdoo dootdoo dootdoo shoulder pads may come and go, but a b.

F.

F.

Is forever because even when you're not sure where you're headed, it helps to know you're not going there alone.

No one has all the answers, and sometimes the bes we can do is just apologize and let the past be the past.

Other times, we need to look to the future and know that even when we think we've seen it all, life can still surprise us, and we can still surprise ourselves.

X.

O.

X.

O.

, Gossip girl.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
Rhodes Records. Rick Rhodes' office.

Hi. Is he in?

-It's Lily.
-Who?

-His daughter.
-Oh. Ahem.

-One moment, please.
-Thank you. Thank you very much.

RICK:
Hey, Lil. Long time, babe.

Hi, Dad. I know, um...

...which is why I was hoping that
we could, like, catch up or something.

There's so much to talk about.

Is there any way
that you can have lunch?

You're in L.A.? Why aren't you
in Santa Barbara, in school?

We can make it a dinner,
if that's better.

-I'm leaving. Lil, what's going on?
-Geoffrey's? Your regular table?

Great, okay. See you then. Love you.

MAN:
Mrs. Bass? We're here.

Oh, yes, thank you.

BLAIR: Serena's been in jail
for over four hours.

She's served more time
than Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan.

She's a socialite mistakenly accused
of stealing a bracelet.

I doubt they're working her over
with a phone book.

When I called Lily, she said
she was on her way. Where is she?

I can't believe she had her own
daughter arrested. Who does that?

-Someone who's never been arrested.
LILY: I'm Lilian Bass.

I'm here for my daughter,
Serena van der Woodsen.

VANESSA: So was Lily blown away?
-Well, not really.

-He never actually--
-Proposed.

-Minor detail in a proposal.
-Key ingredient to the recipe.

He came home, went into his room,
and we haven't seen him since.

Hey, Dad.

Oh, so prom tomorrow night.
What do you say? We stay in?

-Watch scary movies?
-Scarier the better.

-Absolutely.
RUFUS: You're the Gossip Girl generation.

Don't expect me to believe
you're not interested.

Nope. Only interested
in my Nim Chow.

So to add to the Lily intrigue,
or help explain it...

...I got a call about your investment.

-The money's gone. It's over.
-Really?

-Serena had a plan to get it all back.
-Lily had a plan of her own.

Well, that's what I was hoping.

-Yeah, she had Serena arrested.
-What?

-Why?
-I suggest you kids stay out of it.

Let these van der Woodsen women
fight it out themselves.

Wow.

You forced me to do this.
I hope you learned your lesson.

That my mom's crazier
than I imagined?

No crazier than you, thinking you could
fix this situation yourself.

I was fixing this. You were worried
what people would think.

When you're a mother,
you have to make decisions...

...that don't win you points
for popularity.

When I'm a mother,
I will be nothing like you.

Yes. You say that now, but just wait.

I would rather give my kids up
for adoption than end up like you.

Oh, wait. You did that.

I came down here to drop the charges
and put this behind us.

Please show a little respect,
and I will stick with my plan.

I'll stick to mine. If you didn't notice,
you weren't my phone call.

-Oh, so who was?
-She called me, darling.

Ironic, isn't it? If only she knew.

SERENA:
Hey, Grandma.

GOSSIP GIRL: For those who complain
about the youth of today...

...if you think we're bad...

...you should've seen our parents.

RICK: I don't care how much Ahmet
wants to give him. The guy can't sing.

I'll pay for his publishing. Goodbye.

Hey, beautiful, you get lost?

I'm sorry I'm late.
I couldn't find parking.

-That's what the valet is for.
-It also costs $2.

I just spent that on gas.

-Here to hit Dad up for some cash?
-What? No.

So Christmas was weird without you.

You know how the fourth quarter is.

Someone's gotta keep
Tower Records in business.

-But I was sorry I couldn't be there.
-Yeah. About that.

I'm not a head shrinker...

...but I do think the sudden uprooting
of my family...

...coupled with my parents'
tumultuous divorce...

...may have contributed
to some difficulties I might be having.

-You got kicked out of boarding school.
-What?

-Wait, wait. How did you know that?
-She told me.

-Mom. What are you doing here?
CECE: Hello, Lily.

If it was up to your father,
they'd stop me at the county line.

Santa Barbara's really
only a prison in my mind.

-Good to see you.
-Wish I could say the same.

You hung up with me and called her?
You didn't give me a chance to explain.

That's because
he would have to parent.

We know he always leaves
bad cop to me.

Punishing loved ones comes
more naturally to some people.

May I have a gin and tonic, no tonic?

I come with some good news.

You're letting me live with Dad?
That's what I was gonna say.

My bags are in the car. Can I have that
room that overlooks the tennis courts?

Thank you for coming down here, Mom,
but I think this is all worked out, right?

-Richard?
-Lily, that sounds so good.

-It's just--
-Your father made a call to the school.

I told them
what had been happening at home.

Your sister taking off,
your mother and I splitting up.

I explained it was an isolated,
uncharacteristic act of rebellion.

They're willing to turn expulsion into
suspension. You can be back on Monday.

-But I wanted to get expelled.
CECE: Lily, whatever for?

-That school has everything.
-Everything except for Dad.

You're living
this amazing new life here...

...and I'm just scared
that by the time I graduate...

...I won't be a part of it anymore.

What if you forget about me?

Lil, you do not have
to ever worry about that.

I just have a lot going on
right now with work.

I can't give you the time,
the supervision you need.

-Just like clockwork.
-Okay.

Dad.

I'm late. I gotta pack, get to the airport.
Put lunch on my account.

-I'll talk to you soon.
-Dad. No.

Why do you always
have to do that? Dad.

-Thank you.
-Please don't walk away.

You need to be with your mother, Lil.
Out of the city, in school.

We can't let you turn out
like your sister.

Carol? Yeah, I think we can all agree
on that front.

She ran away from our family.
And for what? To become an actress?

Which is a completely unrealistic goal.

I mean, she was pretty good
in The Crucible...

...but what was that, like, 11th grade?
Anyway, the point is, is I'm not Carol.

I don't crave adventure
or the freedom to walk my own path.

I'm comfortable
with the path you laid out.

RICK:
Go home, Lil.

Dad, you have a giant house.
I won't be any trouble.

I'll call you when I get back
from London.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Lily, it's over.

Let's go home.

I'll follow you back.

See you at home.

CECE: Eric and I had the most
invigorating walk from the hotel.

Grandma is deceptively quick.

She's probably racing back to that bottle
of gin she has hidden under the sink.

-Zing.
-Good morning to you as well.

What are you doing here, Mother?
I don't remember inviting you.

I haven't called, and I'm positive...

...you haven't so much as received
a card or fruitcake at the holiday.

Be thankful for the last one.

What have I done to earn your ire,
my dear?

Let me think for a second.
Maybe telling Rufus about our child?

I'm sorry if I thought it appropriate
that Rufus learns he has a son.

You mean had.

He died.

Oh.

-I had no idea.
-Imagine. Something you don't know.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going
to take Serena breakfast in bed...

...so I can start the healing
with my daughter.

-Might wanna put a hold on the healing.
-Serena's not in.

What? I thought she was
coming home with you.

-Where is she?
-Why are you still in jail?

SERENA [OVER PHONE]: It's my choice.
-Oh, God.

You're not gonna come out
with a mullet, are you?

Mother didn't think I was old enough
to make decisions...

...so I decided to stay in jail.

I'm not leaving until she agrees
to let me live my own life.

BLAIR: So it's a w*r of attrition.
-So to speak.

Except she gets to wage w*r
from her penthouse...

-...while you remain behind bars.
-Don't worry about me.

Enjoy prom with Nate,
like you always planned...

...in that scrapbook
that you kept under your bed.

Oh. Please. I don't remember that.
I was a child then.

I should go. I don't wanna abuse
my phone privileges.

BLAIR: The fact that you're on an actual
payphone has me beyond nauseous.

Stay strong, S. What's this for?

Strength. You will need.
I have good news and bad news.

-Which do you want?
-Good news first. Always.

-There is replacement.
-What are you talking about?

It makes more sense if you pick
bad news first. Your dress for prom.

The dry cleaners, they ruined it.

This body bag. Corpse not pretty.

-But there's a replacement?
-Back to good news.

This morning, it arrive from Paris,
just like in scrapbook.

[GASPS THEN SIGHS]

It is. Ah.

Just like my scrapbook
I don't remember keeping...

...and haven't looked at
since I was an early adolescent.

Oh. It must be from Daddy.
Tonight is going to be magical.

[LAUGHS]

NATE: You know, prom hasn't exactly
been going as planned.

The florist lost Blair's corsage.
Someone bought up all the peonies.

And when I called to confirm my limo,
it'd been rented by a bachelorette party.

The heart quickens.

Yeah, well,
my hotel room was canceled...

...and I found out Blair's dress
has been ruined.

-How tragic.
-I gotta ask.

Am I sabotaging your dream prom?

The answer is no, Nathaniel.

I don't know how many times we need
to have this conversation. Blair is yours.

Okay.

Ah. What a restorative nap that was.
I feel so much better.

Well, I'm afraid that moment
is not going to last.

-Eric out of earshot?
-I sent him to a movie with Jonathan.

So no one can hear me scream.
You're gonna, what, hack me to pieces?

-Suffocate me with a pillow?
-I am simply, and for the last time...

...gonna ask you to leave my home
and never come back.

-Never is a very long time, darling.
-You are toxic.

-I'm your mother.
-And a memorable one at that.

So much that, try as I might,
I can't help turning into you.

You finally are starting to see
the wisdom of my ways.

You blame me for everything.

And you accept responsibility
for nothing.

Maybe Carol's right. The only way
to have a normal life is without you.

Your sister was rebellious, ungrateful,
and look where she ended up.

From where I'm sitting,
it doesn't look so bad.

I don't want you meddling with
my family or with my love life any more.

I want you out. Now.

Hi, I'm looking for my sister, Carol.
Carol Rhodes.

I think that she works here. Is she in?

I'm covering four extra tables today,
so that'd be no.

Flaking on work. That seems like Carol.
Know where she might be?

Hey, watch where you're going, spaz.
You almost got udon all over my Gucci.

Personally, I don't see it.

-See what?
-Family resemblance.

To Carol? Wait, you know her?

Yeah.

-Know where she might be?
-Trying to work here?

Well, you missed a spot.
It's kind of sticky.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I've had a really rough day.

I got kicked out of school.
My dad doesn't want me.

I can't stand my mom.
I spent the last $9 that I had on gas...

...and so now I'm broke
and homeless.

Unless I can find my sister,
who I haven't talked to in a year...

...I'm gonna have
to become a prost*tute.

I don't even know how.
How much small talk is required?

Where do you even go?
And are BJs a must?

If that's the case,
I am so not doing that.

Not that any of that is relevant
unless you're a john.

-Not a john. Owen.
-Lily.

There's a gig at The 607 tonight.
Chances are your sister will be there.

My friend's kind of dating her.

If you wanna go....

On a double date?
With a guy I just met five minutes ago?

-You could be a psycho.
-My shift ends in 10.

I'll probably see your sister.
Don't wanna come?

I'll give her your regards.
And summarize the prost*tute thing.

I could change.
I have my suitcase in the car.

Yeah. I'm just guessing,
but I don't think that's gonna work.

OWEN:
Just try something like this.

Your sister's always changing
for auditions and stuff.

LILY:
Wow. She's really changed.

I can't believe that she has this.

We went ice skating
at Rockefeller Center.

She snuck me out of the house.
We took a bus across town.

My mom was so furious.

It was so fun. We were like...

...best friends.

-You can go now.
-Already out the door.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

Oh, hello, Daniel.

Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't
leave Serena one more message...

...and still call myself a man.

Not that it's manly
to be calling her mother...

...but I really need to know.
How mad is she?

Oh, I wouldn't worry.
She hasn't gotten your messages.

They take your cell phone away
when you're in jail.

Wait, she's still in jail?

Hey. I think I need a dress for prom.

Okay. But you're gonna
have to wear your own shoes.

Get out, perv.

Sorry. You're taking long enough.

Do I look like I'm wearing
a Halloween costume?

No. You look good.

Is this the moment
where you fall in love with me?

Oh, it is, isn't it? You're falling
in love with me right now.

Are you coming or not?

Hello, I'd like to drop the charges
against Serena van der Woodsen.

There's been a misunderstanding.

You can talk to someone about
the charges, but your daughter's gone.

[SINGING "STAND AND DELIVER"]

Wow, you're, like,
really popular around here.

When you don't have family at home,
you gotta find it somewhere else.

[CONTINUES SINGING]

-It's kind of cool, right?
-Sure. Cool place to catch hepatitis.

Owen! You missed our set, man.
It was awesome. It was like:

[IMITATING GUITAR]

-It was wicked.
-Shep, hey.

Hey, who's the Betty?
This your new girl?

[IN UNISON]
No.

-We're looking for her sister.
SHEP: Your needs have to wait.

I have a plan.
It's more than a plan. It's a mission.

It's about my lady. She's been wronged,
and I'm gonna make it right.

What did they do,
tattoo the wrong butt cheek?

WOMAN:
Randy Walter Sheppard!

My twenties are ticking away
as we speak! We gotta go now!

-Carol.
-Carol?

Lily?

What are you doing here?
What are you guys doing with my sister?

-Wait, she's your sister?
LILY: She's your lady?

-Kind of.
-No. Lily, it's so good to see you.

How do you know Owen?
I'm sorry I haven't called, like, ever.

Are you mad? What are you doing
in L.A.? Is everything okay?

Yeah. No. Not really. I have to talk
to you, and it's kind of major.

Okay, I wanna hear about it...

...but I have to handle something.
It cannot wait.

-Neither can this.
-Talk in the car.

-To the Impala.
-To the what? Where?

The mission is on the move.

Oh, my God, Lily, it's so good
to see you. I've missed you.

Are you wearing my dress?

[CONTINUES SINGING]

[PLAYING "STAND AND DELIVER"]

BLAIR:
Oh, my God. Look at this place.

I've always tried to make my life
resemble the movie in my head...

...and tonight, no effort required.
Voila.

Vote for prom king and queen?

We don't do prom queen.
That's for suburban schools...

...and lame teen comedies
set at them.

We're doing it this year.

-There's a tiara and everything.
-A tiara?

But if you don't want
to vote for yourselves....

Hm.

-We were nominated.
-Let's see.

I mean, of course we were.

ISABELLE: I think I'm getting sentimental.
HAZEL: It's true.

-This is our last huddle.
-Yeah.

Do this in college, you're pathological.

Come on, ladies.
Let's commit election fraud.

I can't wait to see Blair's face
when she loses prom queen to Nelly.

[SNICKERING]

And, look, I know this thing with
your mom took on a life of its own...

...but I just wanted to say
I'm sorry for starting it.

It was just really upsetting that you went
to her without giving me a warning.

I know. And normally
I would never do this.

But Lily is not like other parents.

With good judgment,
morals and maternal instinct?

I never imagined that
you'd end up incarcerated.

The frustrating part is,
she thinks she did take care of it.

Hey, soldier. Eyes up front.

Well I'm glad you let me bail you out.
Or let me call CeCe to.

Because missing your prom
just to spite your mother is kind of--

Something only she would do?

Thank you for getting me to see that.

And thank you for breaking
the cycle of crazy.

[DAN CHUCKLES]

LILY: What happened to the Beemer
Mom and Dad got you?

[B52'S "52 GIRLS" PLAYING
OVER STEREO]

Oh, I sold it.

-For this?
-As if.

I gave it to this guy.
He had this amazing idea.

It goes around your waist, like a belt,
but you can put stuff in it, like a purse.

Wow.
That's a really sound investment.

CAROL: What's that supposed to mean?
LILY: Nothing.

Nothing. It's just your life
isn't exactly how you described.

You told Mom
you were making it in L.A.

I am making it.

This is what making it looks like
before you've totally made it.

Carol, I've always thought
that you were really, really talented.

It's just is it really worth
living your life, you know...

-...like this?
-Well, it's not forever.

Not once we get Shep's video
on MTV.

I'm totally the star.
Music video equals national exposure.

-It's the birth of a new art form.
-Really? Shep's band?

CAROL: Okay, I know you probably
wouldn't think so, having met Shep...

...but they're actually kind of great.

Then why don't you
give their demo to Dad?

CAROL: Because he's Dad.
And I'm doing this on my own.

Listen.

Don't tell anybody about who we are,
especially them.

Why do you care what they think?
Besides, being us is awesome.

All that money comes
with strings attached, Lily.

-People treat you differently.
-Yeah. Better.

Wow. Could you sound
any more like Mom?

Of course I sound like Mom.

She's the only female role model
I've had since you bailed on us.

Hey.

I think we're here.

LILY:
I never wanted to be like my mother.

I wanted to be open to life
and fearless.

And not always thinking three
steps ahead, and consequences...

...or what would my father think.

You have for the most part.
With a few notable exceptions.

That beautiful dinner you made.
You were gonna propose, weren't you?

But you didn't.
Because what I did to Serena...

...made you question
the kind of person I am.

You're unpredictable, that's for sure.
When I was younger, that was exciting.

You were always surprising me.

I'm just doomed to repeat
my mother's mistakes.

Why do you do that?
Dad, please don't walk away.

Our mistakes are ours alone
to repeat, or correct.

I should forgive Serena
for defying me.

Or maybe you need to forgive CeCe.

Ugh. My mother doesn't need
forgiveness, she needs therapy.

You've got good reason
to be angry with her.

Those messed-up values
she passed on to you.

I'll follow you back.

Until you let it go, how can you move
forward with your own daughter?

CeCe's never gonna change, Lil.

But you still can.

Thank you, Rufus.

[LILY SIGHS]

I'm glad we can talk.

But as for everything else...

...I just don't know
where we stand right now.

Even after 20 years,
you're still not sure who I am.

It's not that I'm not sure.
It's just I think you're still figuring it out.

Ah.

[NEW ORDER'S "BLUE MONDAY"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

And she sticks the landing.

So is information on this mission
revealed on a need-to-know basis?

Because I really need to know. Carol.

The so-called director of our video took
our money and then jacked up his fee.

Now he's holding our video hostage,
and I am a hostage negotiator.

Dork's uncle is John Landis.
Doesn't mean he's above the law.

No film-school kid
rips off me and my girl.

Shep, I am not your girl.

Right. She's more like my muse.

Wow, sweet hand towels.

So are we, like, breaking and entering?
Seriously?

The window was unlocked,
so really it's just entering.

And I thought purse-belts
was a bad idea.

Thanks, Lily. I know how much
you love following rules, just stay here.

Far from the party,
where people are having fun.

Owen, can you keep an eye on her?

What?

Because my idea of a good time
isn't breaking into some guy's house...

...I'm automatically
a goody two-shoes?

Doesn't exactly make you
the life of the party.

-Where's the bar?
-I think it's this way.

[BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC]

-You made it!
-Yeah.

There was a last-minute
change of plans.

I sprung her out of the pokey.
Thank me later.

Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking
to you, so consider yourself repaid.

Have fun.

[GIGGLING]

So, you know, not that I imagined
much about my time at prom...

...but, um, it measures up.

Did you ever imagine yourself
dancing at prom?

That I did.

I am here to make dreams come true.
Come dance with me.

Bailing you out of prison
and dancing at prom in one night?

Yeah, I'm here
to make things interesting.

[MEN WITHOUT HATS' "SAFETY DANCE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Hey, van der Woodsen,
you want some?

CAROL:
Hey, Keith.

Surprised to see me?

Carol. Hey.

Wow, you, uh-- You look amazing.

Really? More amazing
than in the video you won't give us?

Look, I'm sorry about that.

I just, uh, couldn't think of
any other way to get you to call me...

...so I could explain--

CAROL: You have a girlfriend.
Nothing to explain.

-I just want the video.
-Hey.

Who is this? She available?

No, man. No, she, uh,
was just leaving.

No, I wasn't.

[DEPECHE MODE'S "JUST CAN'T GET
ENOUGH" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS]

[LILY GRUNTS]

Oh, is this the moment
where you fall in love with me?

It is, isn't it?

You're totally falling in love
with me right now.

[CHUCKLES]

[GLASS CRASHES]

CAROL:
Spare me, Keith!

BLAIR:
This is low, even for you.

I can't believe you, Chuck.
You know how important prom is to me.

-Blair, what's wrong?
-I caught him.

Marked with Nelly Yuki's name.
He's sabotaging me.

My missing corsage. My dress.
The limo and hotel.

CAROL: We paid you 500 bucks
to sh**t that thing.

We were friends then.
I was giving you a special rate.

Our relationship's changed.

You can pay me the balance in cash...

...or, I don't know,
what are you doing Saturday?

Gross. My sister would never
sleep with you.

Yeah. Because she's dating me.

We're not dating.
We were never dating.

KEITH: Both of you don't know
Carol very well.

Because, yeah,
she totally slept with me.

It was pretty fun too.

-You slept with your director?
-I didn't know he had a girlfriend.

And I broke it off.

But what he wants to charge us?
Might as well be a million.

And I know you think I should ask
Mom and Dad for the money, but....

Whatever. I'll think of something.
It's fine.

No, Carol, it's not fine.

Hi. I'm Lily Rhodes,
and that's my sister.

And no one treats us this way.

Okay, we already
called the cops, so....

-You guys are trespassing.
-It's cool, okay? We're done here.

Finally. Take the trash
back to the Valley.

[IN UNISON]
What did you just say?

Don't you have anything better to do?
Like get your butt tattooed?

Only tattoo I'm getting
is your face on my fist.

Ladies, come on.

-No need to fight over me.
-Okay, okay.

How about we just fight you?

[GRUNTS]

OWEN: Let's get out of here.
MAN: Get them!

CAROL:
Excuse us.

Where do you think you're going?

[GRUNTING]

LILY:
Carol!

Leave him alone!

Students, if I could have
your attention, please.

For the first time ever at Constance,
our prom queen is....

You're not even defending yourself.

Lie to my face.
Blame someone, something.

I'm sorry, just one moment.

-Seriously?
-I know how to count.

PENELOPE:
Our prom queen is...

...Blair Waldorf.

-But that's impossible.
-Oh, my God. I won.

[PEOPLE CLAPPING]

This is my moment.

I own prom.

PENELOPE:
And our king, Nate Archibald.

Oh, my gosh. This is so great.

Thank you. Oh, thanks.

Thank you, everyone.

-Oh. I can't believe Blair won.
-Yeah, who even voted for her?

Me. About 150 times.

I wasn't putting the Nelly Yuki ballots in,
I was taking them out.

But what about what she said you did
to her limo and hotel and her corsage?

Her new dress looks better without it.

Give this to her.

It's to the penthouse at The Plaza.

You didn't think you were the only one
who knew about the scrapbook, did you?

Chuck, I can't believe
I'm saying this...

...but that was really sweet.

I made sure she had the perfect night.

MAN:
Your 2009 king and queen.

GOSSIP GIRL: Aw.
Who knew the mother-Chucker...

...could also play fairy godmother?

But if C just made B's
dreams come true...

...why does it feel like our queen
is standing with the wrong king?

You can't use the one
you have on file?

Wait. Let me at least fix my makeup.

[CRYING]

[PHONE RINGS]

WOMAN [ON TV]:
Are you ready to do the workout?

Beginner's workout,
stand with your feet....

Jail?

You're in jail?

I know, Mom. I'm sorry.

CECE: If I was a better mother,
I'd leave you in there.

You ran away.
You just abandoned me.

You know they only give you
one phone call, right?

Oh, Lily, the hopes and dreams
I have for you.

An Ivy League education.

Life on the Upper East Side,
married to the richest man in Manhattan.

See, that's the thing, Mom.

Those are your hopes
and your dreams. Not mine.

I need to figure out what I want,
what I need.

Like a parole officer?

You need to be away
from your sister's influence.

Why? What's wrong with Carol?

The fact that she's independent?
That she thinks for herself?

She does what she wants
and not what people tell her to?

How about you spare me the heartache
and yourself the humiliation...

...and give up on this
failed experiment in rebellion?

What if this is not an experiment?

What about if this is me growing up?

Enough. I'm calling
your father's lawyer.

-We need to keep this out of the papers.
-Please, Mom.

I don't need a publicist.
I need my mother.

I'm trying to talk to you here,
and you're not--

Hey, Mom. Got a sec?

Carol.

This is your chance
to be a big sister...

...and finally offer some actual
guidance to Lily, advice.

Her future is at stake.

Which is why she needs
to be far away from you.

This is how it's going to be, Mom.
Lily's staying with me for a while.

CECE:
Carol, just be reasonable.

We both know the first time
she breaks a nail, rides a city bus...

...or, God forbid, actually steps foot
in a public school...

...she'll come running home.

Well, that's up to Lily, isn't it.

Tell her to sit tight.
I'm coming for her.

No, Mom, you sit tight.
She'll call you later.

Oh, goodness. Mother. Mom.

Don't tell me you're
chasing me out of town.

I'm fleeing as fast as I can.

Well, please stop.
I'm not going to apologize.

But I love you
and I know you love me.

Well, of course I love you.

My daughters, my grandchildren,
my only motivation is love.

On the contrary, your motives
are quite suspect, selfish even.

You haven't always done
what's best for me.

I've done the very best I could.
You think Serena is a handful?

I would rather have 20 Dan Humphreys
from Brooklyn...

...instead of that boy you loved
from the Valley.

Well, you took care of that,
didn't you?

And you ended up
with Serena and Eric.

The life you deserved.

It wasn't up to you
what life I should have.

What else does it mean
to be a mother...

...than to make sure
your child fulfills her destiny?

I wanted to create my own destiny.

But that would have meant
losing you.

And I was always too afraid
to do that.

Until this afternoon, evidently.

Mother, please,
I'm just asking you to stay.

You know, being a mother myself...

...I've made mistakes that rival,
if not outshine, your own.

And I forgive you.

Lucky me.

You throw me out of your home,
and I get forgiven.

Mother, just say thank you
and give me a hug.

I am not gonna thank you
for the terrible things you said.

As far as the hug goes...

...well, you've always done exactly
as you've pleased, haven't you?

[FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE'S "PROM
THEME" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Hey. You okay?

This is supposed to be
the happiest day in high school.

So why do I feel so sad?

Like something's ending?

Well, something is ending.
High school.

Not just school.

You're my first love.

Going to my senior prom with you...

...is something I've wanted
since I was 12.

And here we are,
like it was meant to be.

Yes, this was supposed to happen.
I'm sure of it.

But now it has and--

Why are you talking in the past tense?

-We're still here.
-I know.

But this night already feels
like a memory.

Just hold me.

Until the song is over.

Let's not waste these last moments
talking about it.

Okay.

Hey. There you are.

Where's the prom king?

-We broke up.
-What?

But everything was so perfect.
It was like a fairy tale.

Turns out fairy tales end when they do
for a reason.

I really wanted to go to prom
with my high-school boyfriend.

And now that I have--

He feels like your
high-school boyfriend.

-I'm sorry.
-Me too.

That you almost missed prom
because your mother had you arrested.

And your quasi-half-brother-slash-
ex-boyfriend was your prom date.

You know,
I actually had a lot of fun tonight.

Dan and I made up, and I know
that whatever my mother did...

...she did out of love.

And right now, I am with exactly
who I wanna be with.

My best friend.

LILY:
So thank you.

Well, it's the least I can do since
I got you arrested and everything.

-I didn't know you were such a brawler.
-Neither did I.

Learned some things last night.

The biggest one being
that I've really missed you.

You are high school to me.

All of the boyfriends and mean girls
and tests and teachers...

...and our crazy mothers.

We went through it together.
We raised each other.

You're my sister.

-So where's your car?
-How do you think I got you out of here?

You sold your car?

What are we gonna do?
We're gonna walk?

Walking in L.A.? Wow, sis,
I have so much more to teach you.

Come on, it's us. We travel in style
no matter how we travel.

GOSSIP GIRL: Shoulder pads may
come and go, but a BFF is forever.

Because even when you're not sure
where you're headed...

...it helps to know
you're not going there alone.

No one has all the answers.

And sometimes,
the best we can do is just apologize...

...and let the past be the past.

Other times,
we need to look to the future...

...and know that even when
we think we've seen it all...

...life can still surprise us,
and we can still surprise ourselves.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.