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4x14 - Panic Roommate

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gossip Girl". Aired: September 2007 to December 2012.*
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Privileged teens living on the Upper Eastside of New York City. You know you love me. xoxo

4x14 - Panic Roommate

Post by bunniefuu »

Blair Waldorf working the door.

I got an internship at "W.

" Knowing you, you'll be editor by May.

He shouldn't have been having an affair with a student.

He never touched me, mom.

You sent an innocent man to prison.

Ben, you came.

Can we talk? I see that look in your eye, and I know exactly what it means, but I don't want to be with you.

I realize my wife hasn't treated you justly in any way, but I'd like to help.

I have an extra room at my loft, and I'd love if you moved in.

My father's gonna do everything humanly possible to acquire Bass Industries.

I don't want to stop seeing you.

I can handle the complications if you can.

It's been great catching up, Mr.

D, but my friend just arrived.

I'd introduce you, but you may or may not have statutorily r*ped his sister.

Might be a tad awkward.

Consider this a warning.

Stay away from Serena.

Stay away from her family.

You wanna hang out? Sorry, Damien I'm done with the pills, all right? No, as friends.

Uh, sure.

Why not? And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.

O.

X.

O.

Gossip Girl.

A wise woman once said that every morning when you wake up, you say a little prayer.

After all, you never know what your day may hold.

Sorry, I only have an hour before my next meeting.

Hmm.

Then we've got no time to waste.

From a warm good-bye Ten things I need done in an hour.

Sorry.

Fashion Week is starting.

To a chilly hello.

You have no new messages.

From quiet solitude to surprise company.

Hi.

Can I help you? Hi.

I'm here for the home inspection.

Inspection for what? Ah, sorry we're late.

You must be Ben's parole officer.

The day waits for no one.

Better switch that thing off or bring it to bed.

Vibration's a terrible thing to waste.

I'm not yours no more.

Mm.

Sorry.

That's my dad.

What? I can't ignore his calls.

He's my boss, remember? How could I forget? Don't move.

Don't worry.

Hi, dad.

I'm just running late.

I'll be right there.

I gotta go.

Rain check.

Oh, no, no.

What's wrong? Just lost the ace for the kickoff party.

Have to find a replacement large enough for Florence And The Machine to perform, call the caterers, reroute the flowers and the gift bags.

That sounds like my kind of crisis.

What can I do to help? Stop distracting me with questions, for starters, and have you even finished your list? That's a "no.

" So I guess in addition to everything else I have to do this week, I will spend your entire performance review tomorrow discussing your inability to finish your tasks in a timely fashion.

No.

I can't tank my review.

This internship is everything, and I've been working hard.

Try to understand.

Epperly's under a lot of pressure.

Oh, please, I've celebrated more Fashion Weeks than birthdays.

I know how it is.

My mother's very high-strung.

In fact, in the years between her marriages, you wouldn't believe.

Wait a minute.

How long do you think it's been since Epperly had her strings plucked? Excuse me? Well, there's no shame in it.

It's just what happens when you're married to your job.

It's hard for a powerful woman to find the time.

Maybe all I have to do, to get Epperly off my back Is to get her on hers.

Last time I checked the intern packet, I don't think "pimp daddy" was included in the description of duties.

Well, it just so happens that Epperly's perfect partner also owns the perfect hotel to host tonight's kickoff party.

Ahh.

Two birds, one Bass.

Well, that's the grand tour.

Bedrooms in the back, kitchen's in the front.

'90s rock relics everywhere.

Well, everything looks good.

Ben, I'll see you at the end of the week, okay? This is a pretty great thing you and your family are doing.

So I really can't thank you enough, Rufus, for letting me crash in your old room.

And, Dan, I know this is a huge imposition, but I'm gonna do my best to stay out of your hair.

If at any time you want me gone, I am.

I'm sure it won't come to that.

The parole board would rather have you in a home setting.

So would we.

Hey, dad, can I talk to you for a second? I'm gonna go unpack my stuff.

Are you seriously letting Serena's stalker move in here? I told you last week this was a possibility.

Well, I didn't think you'd actually do it, especially without talking to me first.

I didn't think I needed your approval.

After everything he's been through, don't you think we owe it to him? Sure, by "we," you mean Lily.

Why doesn't he just move into Chuck's old room? And what do you plan on telling Serena about this? I'm sure she's not gonna be okay with it.

Actually, she's more than okay with it.

It was her idea.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, I already got the tickets and the ginger-sesame-caramel popcorn, so.

Yeah, I don't think I can make the movie today, man.

Oh.

Um, all right, well, let's We'll just grab a coffee then.

No.

I think I gotta get out of town for a few days, maybe even longer.

Since when? Why? Since recently and for reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss.

Seriously? Yeah.

Oh, come on.

You know you can trust me with anything.

I mean, the amount of crazy crap that people tell me and expect me to keep to myself, all all the drama about my mom and Serena and Ben.

Maybe that's the reason I can't tell you.

Because it's about Ben? Damien, if you know something about him, you gotta tell me.

Rufus just moved him into the loft.

Ben's living with Dan now.

Nice.

Okay.

The other morning, Ben jumped me.

What happened? I don't know.

He he just went nuts.

Told me if I didn't get lost, he was gonna tell my dad I was dealing.

You don't know my dad, Eric.

If he finds out, I am done.

Okay, that's crazy.

I mean, if anyone should have to leave the city, it's its Ben, not you.

That guy is dangerous, and I do not want him around my family or my friends.

Look, don't go yet.

I'm gonna figure something out.

Did I hear Raina just leave? What is that, three days in a row now? Things are getting serious.

Not fast enough.

We're stuck in this meaningless mind-blowing sex loop.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.

Raina's the one person that can stop her father from swallowing up Bass Industries.

I need her to fall for me so she'll spare my company.

Yeah, well, she doesn't strike me as the love-at-first-sight type, so just give it some time.

Time is the one thing I don't have.

One of my corporate weasels informed me that their board is voting tonight at Once that happens, Bass Industries is toast.

I need to up my game.

No pun intended.

Hello? Anybody home? Epperly, meet my good friend Chuck Bass.

Nice to meet you, Mr.

Bass.

That's Nate.

Chuck, we need a favor.

The magazine lost its space for the kickoff party tonight, and Epperly and I both agree The Empire would be the perfect replacement.

Sadly, The Empire is spoken for, but The Palace is available.

The Palace would lend an air of old-world sophistication to the evening.

I'd have to check with Florence's manager.

Do you have a stage? They'll have one by tonight.

Okay.

I can get behind that.

And that brings me to another point of business.

Nate, would you show Epperly the view from the roof? It's something you must see.

Excellent idea.

I need to speak to Blair alone for a moment.

Looks like our favorite Upper East sinners just found the answer to their prayers.

I need your help.

Lucky for us, their road to heaven leads straight through hell.

Hey.

Dorota told me you were here.

Yeah, I came by to check on Eric.

With my mom away, I knew he wouldn't run into her, but turns out he's gone, too.

Want a berry? Oh, no, thanks.

I already had breakfast with my new roommate Ben.

What were you thinking? That he deserves a second chance.

Oh, to what, to drug you and leave you for dead in a motel room again? That wasn't Ben.

That was Juliet, and you know it.

And now she's off doing independent study somewhere, and I don't even think they talk anymore.

Look, I understand that you feel badly about what happened and what Lily did, but you can't forget that this guy spent the past six months out to get you.

Ben was a good guy before all this happened, and if you kept an open mind, you'd see that he still is.

You'd see what I see.

Oh.

Wow.

What? You have feelings for this guy.

No.

Not that it's any of your business.

It doesn't matter how I feel or don't feel about Ben.

He's made it perfectly clear he wants nothing to do with me.

I haven't even heard from him since the "W" party.

Yeah.

I guess I'm way off base.

Hey.

Serena, what's going on? Two guys from newel just showed up here with a bookcase from Ms.

Van Der Woodsen? Uh, I can explain.

I'll be right there.

Hey.

There you are.

I have to go now.

I'll call you later.

Wh Where's she going? To see Ben.

That's not a good idea.

Tell me about it.

What do you mean? Well, contrary to what Rufus and Serena believe, he hasn't changed.

He beat up a friend of mine just last week.

We have got to get rid of this guy, show everybody how dangerous he is.

What can I do for you? Epperly, my boss.

Fashion Week just started, so she's a stress case, but my performance review is tomorrow, and I need it to go well.

Surely saving tonight will earn you the gold star you crave.

No, it will calm her for a nanosecond until she finds something else to stress about.

I believe that only one thing can relax Epperly, and it's something that I can't give to her.

You need to turn that frown upside down before she pulls out the grading pencil.

And you're just the man for the job.

I'm not sure I am.

I've spent the last few weeks trying every trick I know in the bedroom to get Raina to fall in love with me Business reasons, of course.

Nothing seems to be working.

That's because that's how you win a guy's heart, not a girl's.

If you want Raina to fall for you, you have to stop pulling on her drawstrings and start pulling on her heartstrings.

And where are they located, exactly? In a common connection.

You and I bonded over a mutual love of scheming And burlesque.

Find something that you and Raina both share.

Let your guard down.

Show her a side of you that no one else sees.

I hear girls love that.

Open up, and she'll be forced to follow suit.

And once you hook her, reel her in, gut her emotionally and throw the carcass overboard.

You really do have a gift.

So it's a deal.

If I'm focused on Raina, I can't expend energy on Epperly.

That is not fair.

I give you gold and you can't spare two hours? Think of her as an amuse-bouche.

You were right, Blair.

The view is great up there.

It's so pretty.

Nate I was just saying how you should come with me and Epperly to lunch.

Yeah, sure, I'll go to lunch, as long as Epperly doesn't mind.

No, I'd love that.

So I'm sure Ben was a perfectly nice guy when Serena met him, but you lock anybody up for three years.

Yeah, for a crime he didn't commit.

I've seen every episode of "OZ.

" That place can change a man.

All right, so where's this friend of yours? Hey.

Damien is your friend? Just hear him out, all right? Eric, the guy's a drug dealer.

Who helped you and Blair find Juliet as soon as he realized Serena got hurt.

Humphrey, personal differences aside, Ben is dangerous.

We all know that.

We need to work together to expose him before it's too late.

No.

No.

My answer's "no.

" I'm not gonna team up with the one guy I trust less than Ben, and neither should you.

Did you remember to add the prospectus? If I say no, will you stop asking me? The I's are dotted, and the T's have been crossed.

We're ready.

We need a unanimous vote tonight, Raina.

Anything less, and the Bass board will sense weakness and put up a fight.

Speak of the devil.

Russell.

You have a beautiful hotel here.

I was just taking a look around.

With Raina by your side, of course.

Smile, shake hands, send a message to the Bass board that Thorpe Enterprises cares about the future of these properties.

Set them at ease.

Ah.

I never thought of that.

Hmm.

Okay, do I need to be here for this? You're right.

Where are my manners? If you'd like the real tour, you can start with lunch at our restaurant.

I, uh, have to get back to the office, but I think it's nice.

A Bass and a Thorpe to be seen working together, breaking bread.

Besides, there's nothing my daughter doesn't tell me.

Shall we? Oh, I'm I'm so sorry.

I just I thought Don't apologize.

Just return it.

I already called the delivery guys.

I can return this, too.

I can't believe you remembered.

I remember everything you've read to me.

In case you haven't noticed, I don't really let go of things so easily.

I guess I could use something to keep me company at night, but the bookshelf still goes.

I was about to go out and get some lunch.

You wanna join me? I don't wanna raid the Humphreys' pantry, but I'm kinda starving.

Well, I told the delivery guys I'd be here, so why don't we order in, if that's okay with you? I know where the menu book is.

So, Epperly, have you always worked in fashion? Pretty much.

After Oxford, I worked at the met for Harold Koda at the Costume Institute.

Ah, yeah.

But more importantly, you were a power pilates instructor.

For one semester in college.

But it still counts.

Core strength lasts a lifetime.

This is Epperly.

What do you think? She's cool.

Uh-huh.

What else? She's smart, stressed about work.

Where are you going with this? Whoa.

You need to sleep with her right away.

What? I need you to relieve all that pent-up tension before my first performance review tomorrow, and you better not be selfish, Archibald.

You know what I mean.

A woman remembers.

This is why you've been dragging me around? Well what's the big deal? It's not like you haven't done it before.

Just think of her as younger, more flexible lady Catherine.

Trouble.

Florence is stuck at J.

F.

K.

Because The Machine's flight is delayed.

Well, Epperly, it's fine.

We'll send another car.

Why don't you two grab lunch, and I'll go get a jump on it at "W"? No, I need to deal with this myself.

I'll see you back at the office.

I wasn't that selfish, was I? Was I? You were right.

Lunch was pretty amazing.

You'll have to tell Justin when you see him.

He's our executive chef.

Thank you, Daniel.

The service was impeccable as always.

Thank you so much, Mr.

Bass.

That's the third waiter you've greeted.

Chuck, I know you're trying to make me feel guilty about buying The Palace and firing all these nice people, but business is business.

You know that.

What's with the show? It's not a show.

I actually grew up here.

Other kids have neighbors and potlucks.

I have concierges and room service.

I know these people because they're my extended family.

I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand.

Actually, I do.

When my mother abandoned us, my dad couldn't sleep in our house anymore.

So he moved us into the penthouse of the Blake, and we never left.

Nothing like being a guest in your own home.

Let me take you out tonight.

There's a party here, then after maybe we can Some other night? I have a meeting I can't miss.

In fact Oh, my God.

I didn't realize the time.

I'm gonna get my coat.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Okay, you have to try a shishito pepper.

Absolutely not.

My mouth is still on fire from the spicy tuna roll.

Now please pour me some tea before I literally start to cry.

Okay, okay.

Look, I'm sorry that I've been how I've been.

I just I've spent the last three years blaming you for where I thought you put me.

I know, here you are somewhere else that I put you.

Is that a problem? No, actually.

I'm beginning to think I'm supposed to be here.

How's everybody doing? I should get going.

What are you doing? Leaving.

What is it gonna take for you to see this is a dangerous situation? What is it gonna take for you to see it isn't? We're not dating, so if it's all the same, I don't need your permission or protection.

Look, Dan, I know you're just looking out for Serena, and I understand your concern.

I do.

But you have nothing to worry about.

I swear.

Watch out, lonely boy.

Your new roommate's moving in fast, but you're the one who's going to have to unpack his lies.

Raina's remarkable.

I've honestly never been with a girl who understands me like she does.

No, today was just hard because I was showing her The Palace.

I know pretty soon it's all gonna be gone.

It's the one place that still feels like home.

I thought Raina would understand that.

No, I am so sorry, Epperly.

I really thought that you and Nate would hit it off.

No, of course it's not you.

No, don't blame yourself.

He said he thought you were beautiful.

He's just coming off a really crazy relationship, you know? No, I know.

He's as smart as he handsome, isn't he? Don't push it.

Wrap it up.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, I'll see you back at work, Epperly.
Hey.

I'll walk you to your car.

Thanks.

You know, I think I might like to see this place at night.

Honestly, it's your loss, Archibald.

Okay, so maybe I was too quick to say no about Epperly, but there's no harm in hanging out with her at the party now, is there? No harm at all.

Hey.

Hey, Serena.

Look, I gotta run.

I'll see you tonight, okay? Bye.

You're at home during the day with Nate? Do I smell a scheme? No, I'm just grabbing a quick bite and a change of clothes for the party.

And you're not coming from school, are you? No.

I saw Ben.

He called me, and we had lunch, and I don't know.

I think there really might be something there.

Am I crazy? Please don't say "yes.

" Bad boys have never really been your thing, but damaged outsiders are a definite weakness.

What do you mean? He's from a different social class.

Your mother hates him.

He hates your mother.

He's living in a loft in Dumbo.

I knew Ben before I ever met Dan.

Not my point.

Just ask yourself this.

Is it Ben or the idea of him? Taking off.

I'll see you later.

Hey, uh, glasses middle shelf.

Salad plates bottom shelf.

That's the way it's been my entire life, which is how long I've lived here with my family.

Listen, man, I know you're not too thrilled to have me staying here.

Picking up on that, huh? Little bit.

Look, when your dad offered me a place to stay, I had no idea that you were living here.

If you want me gone, don't rattle dishes.

Just tell me.

I never meant for Juliet to do what she did.

I've even told her to give me some space.

Well, maybe you should tell her again.

I saw she called you.

Because it's my mom's birthday.

That's the only reason.

Like it or not, they're the only family I have.

I'm not gonna lose them.

But it's okay for Serena to lose hers? She's already cutting herself off from her mother and Eric over what happened.

If you really cared about her, you wouldn't make her choose between you or them.

Yeah, 'cause that's what you did when you guys were together.

Are you saying you guys are together now? That's her, isn't it? Hey.

Hey.

So I know it's last minute, but I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the "W" party tonight.

Party? Tonight? You know, if you'd asked me an hour ago, I would've said that's not such a good idea, but, uh you know what? I'm in.

Great.

I can't wait to see you.

Great news.

Nate is coming to the kickoff party tonight.

And he's very excited to see you.

That's great.

Too bad I won't be there.

Why not? Clearly the party has been a logistical nightmare, and my phone hasn't stopped ringing, and I can't miss a call.

Cinderella doesn't always get to go to the ball.

Well, she can if she has all her calls forwarded to her Blackberry and an able intern by her side the whole time.

I'm not saying to blow off your responsibilities, but if anything goes wrong, how can you fix it from here? It's not a good idea.

You can still do your job and have a fabulous night at the same time.

Nate can't wait to see you.

Trust me.

It's like riding a very cute bike.

All right, but we have to leave now.

Here's my phone.

Do your forwarding magic.

Different ringtones for different lines? Careful, B.

Your boss's phone is ringing off the hook, and it's your job on the line.

There's Nate.

Let's go say hi.

Maybe I should go make sure the gift bags are being set out properly.

I'm sure that they're fine.

If anyone needs to reach you, you have your phone.

Come on.

Look alive.

Ladies.

Epperly, care to join me at the bar? Go get her.

So you go to things like this every week? If you don't like it, we can leave.

I just thought the music would be good? Oh, no.

I'm I'm looking forward to it.

You thirsty? Yes, please.

I missed my meeting.

Was I worth it? I'll let you know.

I took the liberty of reserving my old suite.

Perhaps after the show, we can continue your tour upstairs.

Only on the condition that you show me something first.

Your hiding place from when you were a little boy.

Did Nate tell you? I grew up in a hotel, too, remember? So can I see it? It wouldn't be so secret if I just showed it to you.

Fine.

I guess I'll just have to find it myself.

Whoa! Watch where you're going, man.

Watch where you're going! Damien, what are you Doing here? This is a party.

I go to these.

You not so much.

I thought I told you to stay away from him.

Or what? Huh? Not here.

You name the place.

I'll be there.

Get out of my way.

That's not what we planned.

You said he had a short fuse.

Damien baited Ben.

He just didn't bite.

Eric said you met his parole officer? Yeah.

Why? You should call him.

Parolee's about to get violent at a private event.

To be clear, I'm doing this for Serena, and if you turn out to be lying about Ben, I will make sure that you never set foot in this town again.

Understood.

I'll be back.

Well What's this for? Your hand in about three minutes.

You're gonna punch me in the face as hard as you can.

Blair, have you seen Epperly? Yes, and I can hear my performance review now.

Check plus, check plus, check plus You don't understand.

The party planner delivered all the gift bags to the old location.

Well, I'm sure she can fix it.

She's right over there.

I don't understand.

Where'd she go? Warmer? Scalding.

Excellent.

Under the table.

Or In the corner By the shelf.

The corner how on earth did you know that? I hid in the same place.

You can see everyone, but no one can see you.

I even carved my name in the wall with a salad fork.

The old wood floor was replaced by tile in the last Reno.

Otherwise, I could've shown you my work.

See? I know you better than you know yourself.

I know how much The Palace means to you.

It's your home.

I think I can keep you from losing it.

Raina Before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you.

Don't bother.

Allow me.

Dad, wh-what are you doing here? I should ask you the same question.

How dare you miss the meeting.

I told you, we needed a unanimous vote.

I'm sorry.

But I'm not even sure if we should buy Bass Industries anymore.

Raina one of Chuck's associates called our chairman tonight.

Chuck knew about the vote.

He kept you away on purpose.

Is this true? No, I wish you guys could have seen it.

Hey, Ben, I want you to meet Shala, Humberto, and Jen.

Hi.

How are you? Humberto.

Uh, look, I think I'm gonna take off.

Oh, I'll come with you.

No, you should stay.

I mean, your family's here Eric, what are you doing here with Damien? What happened to your face? Ben.

He threatened me earlier, and then he followed me to the bathroom, and then he jumped me.

Eric, are you kidding me? There's no way.

No, he did it.

I saw it myself.

Don't even try to deny it.

I can see that look on your face.

Sorry, S.

, your new beau may have the right to remain silent but you just became the talk of the town.

I don't understand.

It doesn't make any sense.

Why would Ben just come and hit you unprovoked? The guy's obviously got some serious anger issues.

And his parole officer just happened to be here? Come on.

No, I called him.

Because you knew that he'd hit Damien? Because I knew he was a danger to you, to me, to anyone he came into contact with.

I tried to tell you all this, but you wouldn't listen to me.

Because I don't believe it, and I don't believe you.

Serena, wait.

Wait.

Did you really know our board meeting was tonight? Tell me the truth.

Yes.

Raina, when we first met, I was so desperate to save my father's company.

I didn't care what it took, who I had to betray.

I thought if you fell for me, you might find a way to spare it.

But after spending today together, I realized how much I actually do care about you.

I'm so sorry, Chuck.

There's nothing you can ever say to make me trust you again.

My father's waiting for me.

I won't be able to get you in front of a judge till morning.

Let me guess.

You're not springing for a room at this place.

This is serious, Ben.

I'd hoped for better from you.

Wait! Stop.

You're making a mistake.

Serena, don't.

I know you didn't do anything.

Tell him.

Nate, where's Epperly? We're having a gift bag crisis.

How should I know? She left with this guy she knew from Oxford.

What? How could you let some toff just punt off with her? He's definitely gonna try and hook up with her.

You should've heard this guy's accent.

Epperly was right.

You can't take your eye off the ball.

I need to fix this.

Let's go.

You are gonna help me get 650 gift bags from 29th Street in 20 minutes, or so help me, Archibald, I will tell everyone what your favorite movie is.

Hey, do not knock "The Sound Of Music.

" It's got nuns and Nazis.

Julie Andrews was hot.

So I say we go back to your place, pop in some "Call Of Duty" and celebrate.

Listen, man, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I think we're pretty much done here.

I don't understand.

I I thought we were friends.

You're my client.

Former client, actually.

So you were just using me to find out where Ben was so you could get rid of me? And now he's gone, and so am I.

See ya.

You heard what happened? Are you seriously mad at me now? Well, I can't say I'm entirely pleased.

You put Max Cady in my living room.

What was I supposed to do? I guess I didn't realize how deeply you felt about it.

I know you got a lot on your plate right now.

It's gotta be hard for you to be caught in the middle like this.

Well, I'm sorry I didn't ask you first.

I thought I was doing the right thing.

Uh, you were.

Ben didn't hit Damien I-I did.

Oh, my God.

Spotted a lonely boy trying to save an innocent man.

Looks like Brooklyn's the one who's guilty By association.

Hey, have you talked to Eric? He wasn't here when I got up.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was off somewhere with Damien I don't know what to do, how to get through to him.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm meeting with Nate.

We're gonna take care of it.

Uh, I've gotta call you back.

I don't know where to begin.

How about "I'm sorry"? I didn't think that would be enough.

I'm pretty easy.

Well, then I'm sorry.

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking.

I was jealous.

I was angry.

I cost you a night in jail.

What's one more after three years? Thank you for calling my P.

O.

, setting the record straight.

I'll pack up my stuff.

No, you don't have to move out.

In fact, I would like you to stay.

I realize you're someone I should trust, just like Serena said I should.

She said that? Yeah.

If you don't believe me, you can ask her yourself.

Hey.

Dan invited me to come over and wait for you.

She was right.

I was wrong.

Just give everyone else some time.

They'll come around.

I need to go meet Nate.

Where have you been? I was just getting coffee at Sicaffe.

I-I got you one, too.

You should know that, um, Dan and Nate are on their way over to Damien's to look for you.

Yeah, well, Damien ditched me after the party, so Strongest drug I'm on is double macchiato.

Are we done? No, no, no.

We're not.

Talk to me.

Make me understand why you wanna spend so much time with a guy like him when you have all your other friends.

What other friends? Can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud.

It sounds so stupid, but I I thought Damien got me.

You know, we could just hang out together and do nothing.

He was there for me.

That kind of a guy always is.

Yeah.

Yeah, well Lesson learned.

Thank you.

For what? A speechless Chuck Bass.

Will wonders never cease? Honestly, I never thought you'd talk to me again.

Neither did I.

But then I got a phone call from your friend Blair.

Not a staged call a real one.

She told me you may have said all those things on the phone with her for the wrong reasons.

But that you also meant them.

When it comes to me, Blair has a nasty habit of never being wrong.

She said the same thing.

So I've decided to ignore my better judgment and give you a second chance.

If you ever lie to me again.

You have my word.

Business is business.

You need to do what's right for Thorpe Enterprises.

I'll find another way to save my family legacy One that doesn't involve you.

I would But I can't right now.

I have a meeting.

Dinner tonight? Room service.

Epperly's been in with Stefano for over an hour.

But it was just gift bags.

And we still got them there on time.

This is all my fault.

I wanted Epperly to get laid, not laid off.

Did you get fired? Of course not.

The party was a huge success.

Are you having a psychotic break? No, but I am taking a break.

I quit.

Blair, at the party, I ran into the guy that I dated when I was living in London, and we spent the whole night together just talking.

And he is heading off to Bali to a yoga retreat, and I decided I want to go with him.

You're leaving the magazine for "Eat Pray Love"? I guess you can't have it all.

No, of course you can.

Don't quit.

You're amazing at your job.

I know, and you will be, too.

What? As a token of my appreciation for helping me see what was missing in my life, I suggested that you be promoted to replace me.

Congratulations.

Stefano's giving you a trial run, starting now.

This is the office, international, Stefano only.

Now your day begins every morning at 6:00 A.

M.

No, no, I am a full-time student.

I go to Columbia.

If James Franco can do it, so can you.

Blair, you wanted it all, and you just got it.

They say the universe has a great sense of humor, that sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare.

The board is waiting for us.

Raina, after last night, I need to ask if I have your full support to buy Bass Industries.

Yes, under one condition.

Name it.

After the deal closes, I want you to give Chuck a chance to be part of the new company.

I don't need Chuck's help to run Bass Industries.

Yes, you do.

You just don't know it yet.

Because getting what you want always comes with strings attached.

Archibald, Humphrey.

What are you guys doing here? Well, we came looking for Eric.

We ran into your dad instead.

He's a nice guy.

I mean, at least he was to us.

How he is to you after what we told him might be a different story.

Wait.

You guys realize what you've done? My dad's gonna cut me off! And even when you think you're finally in the clear, you're never home free.

You haven't slept.

I couldn't, not until I knew you were safe.

Last night at the party when everyone else doubted you, I never did, not for a second, and I never will.

What about your family? What if us being together drives them all away? I don't think it will, but that's a risk I'm willing to take if you are.

Every happy ending is just a new beginning Because on the Upper East Side, the good times never last forever.

Re: 4x14 - Panic Roommate

Post by bunniefuu »

(OG version)


Gossip girl here--

Your one and only source

Into the scandalous lives

Of manhattan's elite.

Blair waldorf working

The door.

I got an internship at "w."

Knowing you,

You'll be editor by may.

[Lily] he shouldn't have been

Having an affair with a student.

He never touched me, mom. You

Sent an innocent man to prison.

Ben, you came.

Can we talk?

I see that look in your eye,

And I know exactly

What it means,

But I don't want to be with you.

I realize my wife hasn't

Treated you justly in any way,

But I'd like to help.

I have an extra room at my loft,

And I'd love if you moved in.

My father's gonna do

Everything humanly possible

To acquire bass industries.

I don't want to stop

Seeing you.

I can handle the complications

If you can.

It's been great catching up,

Mr. D., But my friend

Just arrived. I'd introduce you,

But you may or may not have

Statutorily r*ped his sister.

Might be a tad awkward.

[Grunts]

Consider this a warning.

Stay away from serena.

Stay away from her family.

[Damien] you wanna hang out?

Sorry, damien. I'm done

With the pills, all right?

No, as friends.

Uh, sure. Why not?

And who am i?

That's a secret

I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o., Gossip girl.

[Gossip girl] a wise woman

Once said that every morning

When you wake up,

You say a little prayer.

After all, you never know

What your day may hold.

Sorry, I only have an hour

Before my next meeting.

[Dan black] ♪ by saying nothing,

You take control ♪

Hmm.

Then we've got no time

To waste.

From a warm good-bye...

♪ Even my dreams ♪

♪ You've got some nerve,

Some nerve, to stand and say ♪

Ten things I need done

In an hour.

Sorry. Fashion week

Is starting.

...to a chilly hello.

[Sighs]

♪ You've got some nerve,

Some nerve ♪

[Automated female voice]

You have no new messages.

♪ Oh, why you havin'... ♪

From quiet solitude...

♪ I don't wanna be yours

No more ♪

...to surprise company.

Hi. Can I help you?

Hi. I'm here

For the home inspection.

Inspection for what?

Ah, sorry we're late. You must

Be ben's parole officer.

The day waits for no one.

♪ Don't wanna be this

Where I just exist ♪

[Rings and vibrates]

[Cell phone clatters]

[Ringing and vibrating

Continues]

Better switch that thing off

Or bring it to bed.

Vibration's a terrible thing

To waste.

♪ I'm not yours no more,

I'm not yours no more ♪

[Ringing and vibrating

Continues]

Mm. Sorry. That's my dad.

[Ringing and vibrating]

What? I can't ignore his calls.

He's my boss, remember?

How could I forget?

Don't move.

Don't worry.

Hi, dad.

I'm just running late.

I'll be right there.

I gotta go. Rain check.

Mmm.

[Sighs]

[Telephone ringing]

Oh, no, no.

What's wrong?

Just lost the ace

For the kickoff party.

Have to find a replacement

Large enough

For florence and the machine

To perform,

Call the caterers, reroute

The flowers and the gift bags.

That sounds like

My kind of crisis.

What can I do to help?

Stop distracting me

With questions, for starters,

And have you even finished

Your list? That's a "no."

So I guess in addition

To everything else

I have to do this week,

I will spend your entire

Performance review tomorrow

Discussing your inability

To finish your tasks

In a timely fashion.

No. I can't tank my review.

This internship is everything,

And I've been working hard.

Try to understand. Epperly's

Under a lot of pressure.

Oh, please, I've celebrated more

Fashion weeks than birthdays.

I know how it is.

My mother's very high-strung.

In fact, in the years

Between her marriages,

You wouldn't believe...

Wait a minute.

How long do you think

It's been

Since epperly

Had her strings plucked?

Excuse me?

Well, there's no shame in it.

It's just what happens when

You're married to your job.

It's hard for a powerful woman

To find the time.

But maybe all I have to do

To get epperly off my back

Is to get her on hers.

Last time I checked

The intern packet,

I don't think

"Pimp daddy" was included

In the description

Of duties.

Well, it just so happens

That epperly's perfect partner

Also owns the perfect hotel

To host tonight's kickoff party.

Ahh. Two birds, one bass.

Well, that's the grand tour--

Bedrooms in the back,

Kitchen's in the front.

'90S rock relics everywhere.

Well, everything looks good.

Ben, I'll see you

At the end of the week, okay?

This is a pretty great thing

You and your family are doing.

[Door opens and closes]

So... I really can't thank you

Enough, rufus,

For letting me crash

In your old room.

And, dan, I know this is

A huge imposition,

But I'm gonna do my best

To stay out of your hair.

If at any time

You want me gone, I am.

I'm sure it won't come to that.

The parole board would rather

Have you in a home setting.

So would we.

Hey, dad, can I talk

To you for a second?

I'm gonna go unpack

My stuff.

[Lowered voice]

Are you seriously letting

Serena's stalker

Move in here?

I told you last week

This was a possibility.

Well, I didn't think

You'd actually do it,

Especially without talking

To me first.

I didn't think

I needed your approval.

After everything

He's been through,

Don't you think

We owe it to him?

Sure, if by "we," you mean lily.

Why doesn't he just move

Into chuck's old room?

And what do you plan on telling

Serena about this? I'm sure

She's not gonna be okay with it.

Actually, she's more than okay

With it. It was her idea.

[Dog barking in distance]

[Exhales deeply] hey.

Hey. Uh, I already got

The tickets

And the ginger-sesame-caramel

Popcorn, so--

Yeah, I don't think I can

Make the movie today, man.

Oh. Um, all right,

Well, let's...

We'll just grab a coffee

Then.

No. I think I gotta get

Out of town for a few days,

Maybe even longer.

Since when? Why?

Since recently and for reasons

I'm not at liberty to discuss.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Oh, come on. You know

You can trust me with anything.

I mean, the amount of crazy crap

That people tell me

And expect me

To keep to myself,

All--all the drama about

My mom and serena and ben...

Maybe that's the reason

I can't tell you.

Because it's about ben?

Damien, if you know something

About him, you gotta tell me.

Rufus just moved him

Into the loft.

Ben's living with dan now.

Nice.

Okay. The other morning,

Ben jumped me.

What happened?

I don't know.

He--he just went nuts.

Told me if I didn't get lost,

He was gonna tell my dad

I was dealing.

You don't know my dad, eric.

If he finds out, I am... Done.

Okay, that's crazy.

I mean, if anyone should

Have to leave the city,

It's--its ben, not you.

That guy is dangerous,

And I do not want him

Around my family or my friends.

Look, don't go yet.

I'm gonna figure something out.

Did I hear raina

Just leave?

What is that,

Three days in a row now?

Things are getting serious.

Not fast enough.

We're stuck in this meaningless

Mind-blowing sex loop.

Aw, I'm sorry

To hear that.

Raina's the one person

That can stop her father

From swallowing up

Bass industries.

I need her to fall for me

So she'll spare my company.

Yeah, well,

She doesn't strike me

As the love-at-first-sight

Type, so just give it some time.

Time is the one thing

I don't have.

One of my corporate weasels

Informed me that their board

Is voting tonight at 8:00

To approve the bid.

Once that happens,

Bass industries is toast.

I need to up my game.

[Elevator bell dings]

No pun intended.

Hello? Anybody home? Epperly,

Meet my good friend chuck bass.

[Epperly] nice to meet you,

Mr. Bass.

That's nate.

Chuck, we need a favor.

The magazine lost its space

For the kickoff party tonight,

And epperly and I both agree

The empire

Would be

The perfect replacement.

Sadly, the empire is spoken for,

But the palace is available.

The palace... Would lend an air

Of old-world sophistication

To the evening.

I'd have to check

With florence's manager.

Do you have a stage?

They'll have one by tonight.

Okay.

I can get behind that.

And that brings me

To another point of business.

Nate, would you show epperly

The view from the roof?

It's something you must see.

Excellent idea. I need to speak

To blair alone for a moment.

Looks like our favorite

Upper east sinners

Just found the answer

To their prayers.

[Both] I need your help.

Lucky for us,

Their road to heaven

Leads straight through hell.

[Horns honking]

Hey. Dorota told me

You were here.

Yeah, I came by

To check on eric.

With my mom away, I knew

He wouldn't run into her,

But turns out he's gone, too.

[Crunches] want a berry?

Oh, no, thanks.

I already had breakfast

With my new roommate ben.

What were you thinking?

That he deserves

A second chance.

Oh, to what, to drug you

And leave you for dead

In a motel room again?

That wasn't ben. That was

Juliet, and you know it.

And now she's off doing

Independent study somewhere,

And I don't even think

They talk anymore.

Look, I understand that you

Feel badly about what happened

And what lily did, but you

Can't forget that this guy

Spent the past six months

Out to get you.

Ben was a good guy

Before all this happened,

And if you kept an open mind,

You'd see that he still is.

You'd see what I see.

Oh. Wow.

What?

You have feelings

For this guy.

No. Not that it's

Any of your business.

It doesn't matter how I feel

Or don't feel about ben.

He's made it perfectly clear

He wants nothing to do with me.

I haven't even heard from him

Since the "w" party.

[Rings]

Yeah. I guess

I'm way off base.

[Ring]

Hey.

Serena, what's going on?

Two guys from newel

Just showed up here

With a bookcase

From ms. Van der woodsen?

Uh, I can explain.

I'll be right there.

Hey.

There you are. I have to go now.

I'll call you later.

Wh-- [sighs]

Where's she going?

To see ben.

That's not a good idea.

Tell me about it.

What do you mean?

Well, contrary to what

Rufus and serena believe,

He hasn't changed. He beat up

A friend of mine just last week.

We have got to get rid

Of this guy,

Show everybody

How dangerous he is.

What can I do for you?

Epperly, my boss.

Fashion week just started,

So she's a stress case,

But my performance review

Is tomorrow,

And I need it to go well.

Surely saving tonight will earn

You the gold star you crave.

No, it will calm her

For a nanosecond

Until she finds something else

To stress about.

I believe that only one thing

Can relax epperly,

And it's something

That I can't give to her.

You need to turn

That frown upside down

Before she pulls out

The grading pencil.

And you're just the man

For the job.

I'm not sure I am.

I've spent the last few weeks

Trying every trick I know

In the bedroom

To get raina

To fall in love with me--

Business reasons, of course.

Nothing seems to be working.

That's because that's how you

Win a guy's heart, not a girl's.

If you want raina

To fall for you,

You have to stop pulling

On her drawstrings

And start pulling

On her heartstrings.

And where are they located,

Exactly?

In a common connection.

You and I bonded over

A mutual love of scheming...

And burlesque.

Find something that

You and raina both share.

Let your guard down.

Show her a side of you

That no one else sees.

I... Hear girls love that.

Open up, and she'll be

Forced to follow suit.

And once you hook her,

Reel her in, gut her emotionally

And throw the carcass

Overboard.

You really do have a gift.

[Sighs] so it's a deal.

If I'm focused on raina,

I can't expend energy

On epperly.

That is not fair.

I give you gold

And you can't spare

Two hours?

[Elevator bell dings,

Doors open]

Think of her

As an amuse-bouche.

You were right, blair.

The view is great up there.

It's so pretty.

Nate...

I was just saying how you should

Come with me and epperly

To lunch.

Yeah, sure, I'll go to lunch,

As long as epperly doesn't mind.

No, I'd love that.

So I'm sure ben

Was a perfectly nice guy

When serena met him,

But you lock anybody up

For three years...

Yeah, for a crime

He didn't commit.

I've seen every episode of "oz."

That place can change a man.

All right, so where's

This friend of yours?

Hey.

Damien is your friend?

Just hear him out, all right?

Eric, the guy's a drug dealer.

Who helped you and blair

Find juliet

As soon as he realized

Serna got hurt.

Humphrey, personal differences

Aside, ben is dangerous.

We all know that.

We need to work together

To expose him

Before it's too late.

No. No. My answer's "no."

I'm not gonna team up with

The one guy I trust less than

Ben, and neither should you.

Did you remember to add

The prospectus?

If I say no,

Will you stop asking me?

The I's are dotted,

And the t's have been crossed.

We're ready.

We need a unanimous vote

Tonight, raina. Anything less,

And the bass board will sense

Weakness and put up a fight.

Speak of the devil.

Russell.

You have

A beautiful hotel here.

I was just taking

A look around.

With raina by your side,

Of course. Smile, shake hands,

Send a message to the bass board

That thorpe enterprises

Cares about the future

Of these properties.

Set them at ease.

Ah. I never thought of that.

Hmm.

Okay, do I need to be here

For this?

You're right.

Where are my manners?

If you'd like the real tour,

You can start with lunch

At our restaurant.

I, uh, have to get back

To the office,

But I think it's nice--

A bass and a thorpe

To be seen working together,

Breaking bread.

Besides, there's nothing

My daughter doesn't tell me.

Shall we?

Oh, I'm--i'm so sorry.

I just--i thought--

Don't apologize.

Just return it.

[Sighs] I already called

The delivery guys.

I can return this, too.

I can't believe

You remembered.

I remember everything

You've read to me.

In case you haven't noticed,

I don't really let go

Of things so easily.

I guess I could use something

To keep me company at night,

But the bookshelf still goes.

I was about to go out

And get some lunch.

You wanna join me?

I don't wanna raid

The humphreys' pantry,

But I'm kinda starving.

Well, I told the delivery guys

I'd be here,

So why don't we order in,

If that's okay with you?

I know where

The menu book is.

So, epperly, have you

Always worked in fashion?

Pretty much. After oxford,

I worked at the met

For harold koda

At the costume institute.

Ah, yeah.

But more importantly, you were

A power pilates instructor.

For one semester in... College.

But it still counts.

Core strength lasts a lifetime.

[Cell phone rings, beep]

This is epperly.

What do you think?

She's cool.

Uh-huh. What else?

She's smart,

Stressed about work.

Where are you going

With this? Whoa.

You need to sleep with her

Right away.

[Laughs] what?

I need you to relieve

All that pent-up tension

Before my first

Performance review tomorrow,

And you better not be selfish,

Archibald. You know what I mean.

A woman remembers.

This is why you've been

Dragging me around?

Well...

What's the big deal?

It's not like

You haven't done it before.

Just think of her as younger,

More flexible lady catherine.

Trouble.

Florence is stuck at j.f.k.

Because the machine's flight

Is delayed.

Well, epperly, it's fine.

We'll send another car.

Why don't you two grab lunch,

And I'll go get a jump on it

At "w"?

No, I need to deal

With this myself.

I'll see you back

At the office.

I wasn't that selfish,

Was i? Was i?

[Mozart's "divertimento no. 15

In b-major k.287" playing]

You were right.

Lunch was pretty amazing.

You'll have to tell justin

When you see him.

He's our executive chef.

Thank you, daniel.

The service was impeccable

As always.

Thank you so much,

Mr. Bass.

That's the third waiter

You've greeted.

Chuck, I know you're trying

To make me feel guilty

About buying the palace

And firing

All these nice people,

But business is business.

You know that.

What's with the show?

It's not a show.

I actually grew up here.

Other kids have neighbors

And potlucks.

I have concierges

And room service.

I know these people because

They're my extended family.

I guess I shouldn't

Expect you to understand.

Actually, I do.

When my mother abandoned us,

My dad couldn't sleep

In our house anymore.

So he moved us into

The penthouse of the blake,

And we never left.

Nothing like being a guest

In your own home.

Let me take you out tonight.

There's a party here,

Then after maybe we can...

Some other night?

I have a meeting I can't miss.

In fact...

Oh, my god.

I didn't realize the time.

I'm gonna get my coat.

I'll call you tomorrow.

[Serena giggles]

Okay, you have to try

A shishito pepper.

Absolutely not.

My mouth is still on fire

From the spicy tuna roll.

Now please pour me some tea

Before I literally start to cry.

Okay, okay.

[Giggles]

Look, I'm sorry that

I've been how I've been.

I just--i've spent

The last three years

Blaming you for where

I thought you put me.

And now here you are

Somewhere else that I put you.

Is that a problem?

No, actually.

I'm beginning to think

I'm supposed to be here.

[Door opens]

How's everybody doing?

I should get going.

What are you doing?

Leaving.

What is it gonna take

For you to see this is

A dangerous situation?

What is it gonna take for you

To see it isn't?

We're not dating,

So if it's all the same,

I don't need your permission

Or protection.

Look, dan,

I know you're just

Looking out for serena,

And I understand your concern.

I do.

But you have nothing

To worry about.

I swear.

[Dishes clatter,

Cell phone vibrating]

Watch out, lonely boy.

Your new roommate's

Moving in fast,

But you're the one who's going

To have to unpack his lies.

Raina's remarkable.

I've honestly

Never been with a girl

Who understands me

Like she does.

No, today was just hard because

I was showing her the palace.

I know pretty soon

It's all gonna be gone.

It's the one place

That still feels like home.

I thought

Raina would understand that.

No, I am so sorry, epperly.

I really thought that

You and nate would hit it off.

No, of course it's not you.

No, don't blame yourself.

He said he thought

You were beautiful.

He's just coming off a really

Crazy relationship, you know?

No, I know. He's as smart

As he handsome, isn't he?

Don't push it. Wrap it up.

Oh. Okay. Well, I'll see you

Back at work, epperly.

[Gasps]

Hey. I'll walk you

To your car.

Thanks.

You know, I think I might like

To see this place at night.

Honestly, it's your loss,

Archibald.

Okay, so maybe I was too quick

To say no about epperly,

But there's no harm

In hanging out with her

At the party now,

Is there?

No harm at all.

Hey.

Hey, serena. Look, I gotta run.

I'll see you tonight, okay? Bye.

You're at home during the day

With nate? Do I smell a scheme?

No, I'm just grabbing

A quick bite

And a change of clothes

For the party.

And you're not coming

From school, are you?

No. I saw ben.

He called me, and we had lunch,

And... I don't know.

I think there really might be

Something there.

Am I crazy?

Please don't say "yes."

Bad boys have never really

Been your thing,

But damaged outsiders

Are a definite weakness.

What do you mean?

He's from a different social

Class. Your mother hates him.

He hates your mother.

He's living in a loft in dumbo.

I knew ben

Before I ever met dan.

Not my point.

Just ask yourself this.

Is it ben

Or the idea of him?

Taking off.

I'll see you later.

Hey, uh, glasses--

Middle shelf.

Salad plates--

Bottom shelf.

That's the way it's been

My entire life,

Which is how long I've

Lived here... With my family.

Listen, man, I know

You're not too thrilled

To have me staying here.

Picking up on that, huh?

Little bit.

Look, when your dad offered me

A place to stay,

I had no idea

That you were living here.

If you want me gone,

Don't rattle dishes.

Just tell me.

I never meant for juliet

To do what she did.

I've even told her

To give me some space.

Well, maybe you should tell her

Again. I saw she called you.

Because

It's my mom's birthday.

That's the only reason.

Like it or not,

They're the only family I have.

I'm not gonna lose them.

But it's okay for serena

To lose hers?

She's already

Cutting herself off

From her mother

And eric over what happened.

If you really cared about her,

You wouldn't make her choose

Between you or them.

Yeah, 'cause that's what you did

When you guys were together.

Are you saying you guys

Are together now?

[Cell phone rings]

That's her, isn't it?

Hey.

Hey. So I know

It's last minute,

But I was wondering

If you wanted

To come with me

To the "w" party tonight.

Party? Tonight?

You know, if you'd asked me

An hour ago,

I would've said

That's not such a good idea,

But, uh...

You know what? I'm in.

Great. I can't wait

To see you.

[Beep]

[Beeping]

Great news. Nate is coming

To the kickoff party tonight...

[Singsongy] and he's

Very excited to see you.

That's great.

Too bad I won't be there.

Why not?

Moving the party has been

A logistical nightmare,

And my phone hasn't

Stopped ringing,

And I can't miss a call.

Cinderella doesn't always

Get to go to the ball.

Well, she can if she has

All her calls forwarded

To her blackberry

And an able intern by her side

The whole time.

I'm not saying to blow off

Your responsibilities,

But if anything goes wrong,

How can you fix it from here?

It's not a good idea.

You can still do your job

And have a fabulous night

At the same time.

Nate can't wait to see you.

Trust me. It's like

Riding a very cute bike.

All right, but we have

To leave now. Here's my phone.

Do your forwarding magic.

Different ringtones

For different lines?

[Telephone rings]

[Multiple lines ringing]

Careful, b.

Your boss's phone

Is ringing off the hook,

And it's your job on the line.

[Crystal castle's "celestica"

Playing]

♪ As we fall into sequence ♪

♪ And we're eating our young ♪

[Man] you guys look great.

[Camera shutters clicking]

♪♪

There's nate.

Let's go say hi.

♪ And they can't help you now ♪

Maybe I should go make sure

The gift bags

Are being set out properly.

I'm sure that they're fine.

If anyone needs to reach you,

You have your phone.

Come on. Look alive.

Ladies. Epperly,

Care to join me at the bar?

[Lowered voice] go get her.

♪♪

So you go to things like this

Every week?

If you don't like it,

We can leave.

I just thought

The music would be good?

Oh, no. I'm--i'm looking

Forward to it.

You thirsty?

Yes, please.

♪♪

I missed my meeting.

Was I worth it?

I'll let you know.

I took the liberty

Of reserving my old suite.

Perhaps after the show, we can

Continue your tour upstairs.

Only on the condition that

You show me something first.

Your hiding place

From when you were

A little boy.

Did nate tell you?

I grew up in a hotel, too,

Remember?

So can I see it?

[Chuckles]

It wouldn't be so secret

If I just showed it to you.

Fine. I guess I'll just

Have to find it myself.

♪♪

Whoa! Watch where you're going,

Man. Watch where you're going!

Damien, what are you...

Doing here? This is a party.

I go to these.

You--not so much.

I thought I told you

To stay away from him.

Or what? Huh?

Not here.

You name the place.

I'll be there.

Get out of my way.

[Sighs]

That's not what

We planned.

You said he had

A short fuse.

Damien baited ben.

He just didn't bite.

Eric said you met

His parole officer?

Yeah. Why?

You should call him.

Parolee's about to get violent

At a private event.

[Sighs]

To be clear, I'm doing this

For serena,

And if you turn out

To be lying about ben,

I will make sure that you never

Set foot in this town again.

Understood.

I'll be back.

[Sighs]

Well...

[Ice cubes clink]

What's this for?

Your hand

In about three minutes.

You're gonna punch me

In the face as hard as you can.

♪♪

Blair,

Have you seen epperly?

Yes, and I can hear

My performance review now.

Check plus, check plus,

Check plus--

You don't understand.

The party planner

Delivered all the gift bags

To the old location.

Well, I'm sure she can fix it.

She's right over there.

I don't understand.

Where'd she go?

♪♪

Warmer?

Scalding.

Excellent. [Inhales deeply]

Under the table.

Or...

[Laughs] in the corner...

By the shelf.

The corner--how on earth

Did you know that?

I hid in the same place.

You can see everyone,

But no one can see you.

I even carved my name

In the wall with a salad fork.

The old wood floor was replaced

By tile in the last reno.

Otherwise, I could've

Shown you my work.

See? I know you better

Than you know yourself.

I know how much the palace

Means to you.

It's your home.

I think I can keep you

From losing it.

[Sighs] raina...

Before we go any further,

There's something

I have to tell you.

Don't bother.

Allow me.

Dad, wh-what are you

Doing here?

I should ask you

The same question.

How dare you miss

The meeting.

I told you,

We needed a unanimous vote.

I'm sorry.

But I'm not even sure

If we should buy

Bass industries anymore.

Raina...

One of chuck's associates

Called our chairman tonight.

Chuck knew about the vote.

He kept you away

On purpose.

Is this true?

[Both laugh]

No, I wish you guys

Could have seen it.

Hey, ben, I want you to meet

Shala, humberto, and jen.

Hi.

How are you?

Humberto.

Uh, look,

I think I'm gonna take off.

Oh, I'll come with you.

No, you should stay.

I mean, your family's here...

Eric, what are you

Doing here with... Damien?

What happened to your face?

Ben.

He threatened me earlier,

And then he followed me

To the bathroom,

And then he jumped me.

Eric, are you kidding me?

There's no way.

No, he did it.

I saw it myself.

Don't even try to deny it. I can

See that look on your face.

Sorry, s., Your new beau may

Have the right to remain silent

But you just became

The talk of the town.

[Playing "cosmic love"]

♪ A falling star ♪

♪ Fell from your heart ♪

♪ And landed in my eyes ♪

♪ I screamed aloud ♪

I don't understand.

It doesn't make any sense.

Why would ben just

Come and hit you unprovoked?

The guy's obviously

Got some serious anger issues.

And his parole officer just

Happened to be here? Come on.

No, I called him.

Because you knew

That he'd hit damien?

Because I knew he was

A danger to you, to me,

To anyone he came

Into contact with.

I tried to tell you all this,

But you wouldn't listen to me.

Because I don't believe it,

And I don't believe you.

Serena, wait.

♪ I'm always in this twilight ♪

♪ In the shadow ♪

♪ Of your heart ♪

♪ And in the dark ♪

Wait.

♪ I can hear your heartbeat ♪

Did you really know

Our board meeting was tonight?

Tell me the truth.

Yes.

Raina, when we first met,

I was so desperate

To save my father's company.

I didn't care what it took,

Who I had to betray.

I thought if you fell

For me,

You might find a way

To spare it.

But after spending today

Together,

I realized how much

I actually do care about you.

I'm so sorry, chuck.

There's nothing you can ever say

To make me trust you again.

♪ In the darkness ♪

My father's waiting for me.

♪ I became ♪

♪ The stars, the moon ♪

♪ They have all been blown out ♪

♪ You left me in the dark ♪

I won't be able to get you in

Front of a judge till morning.

Let me guess. You're not

Springing for a room

At this place.

This is serious, ben.

I'd hoped for better from you.

Wait! Stop.

You're making a mistake.

Serena, don't.

I know you didn't

Do anything.

Tell him.

♪ Ah-ooh, ah-ooh ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, ah-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ I took the stars

From my eyes ♪

♪ And then I made a map ♪

♪ And knew that somehow ♪

Nate, where's epperly?

We're having a gift bag crisis.

How should I know?

She left with this guy

She knew from oxford.

What? How could you let some

Toff just punt off with her?

He's definitely gonna try

And hook up with her.

You should've heard

This guy's accent.

Epperly was right.

[Sighs] you can't take

Your eye off the ball.

I need to fix this.

Let's go.

You are gonna help me

Get 650 gift bags

From 29th street in 20 minutes,

Or so help me, archibald,

I will tell everyone

What your favorite movie is.

Hey, do not knock

"The sound of music."

It's got nuns and nazis.

Julie andrews was hot.

♪ No dawn, no day ♪

So I say we go back

To your place,

Pop in some "call of duty"

And celebrate.

Listen, man, I don't want you

To take this the wrong way,

But I think

We're pretty much done here.

I don't understand. I...

I thought we were...

Friends.

You're my client.

Former client, actually.

So you were just using me

To find out where ben was

So you could get rid of me?

And now he's gone,

And so am i.

See ya.

♪ In the shadow of your heart ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, ah-ooh ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

You heard what happened?

Are you seriously

Mad at me now?

Well, I can't say

I'm entirely pleased.

You put max cady

In my living room.

What was I supposed to do?

I guess I didn't realize

How deeply you felt about it.

[Sighs] I know you got a lot

On your plate right now.

It's gotta be hard for you to be

Caught in the middle like this.

Well, I'm sorry I didn't

Ask you first.

I thought I was doing

The right thing.

Uh, you were.

Ben didn't hit damien.

I-i did.

Oh, my god.

Spotted--a lonely boy trying

To save an innocent man.

Looks like brooklyn's

The one who's guilty...

By association.

Hey, have you talked

To eric?

He wasn't here

When I got up.

I wouldn't be surprised

If he was off somewhere

With damien.

I don't know what to do,

How to get through to him.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm meeting with nate.

We're gonna take care of it.

Uh, I've gotta

Call you back.

[Sighs] I don't know

Where to begin.

How about "I'm sorry"?

I didn't think

That would be enough.

I'm pretty easy.

Well, then I'm sorry.

Honestly, I don't know

What I was thinking.

I was jealous. I was angry.

I cost you a night in jail.

What's one more

After three years?

Thank you for calling my p.o.,

Setting the record straight.

I'll pack up my stuff.

No, you don't have to move out.

In fact,

I would like you to stay.

I realize you're someone

I should trust, just like

Serena said I should.

She said that?

Yeah. If you don't believe me,

You can ask her yourself.

Hey. Dan invited me

To come over and wait for you.

She was right. I was wrong.

Just give everyone else

Some time. They'll come around.

I need to go meet nate.

Where have you been?

I was just getting coffee

At sicaffé.

I-i got you one, too.

[Sighs] you should know

That, um, dan and nate

Are on their way over

To damien's to look for you.

Yeah, well, damien ditched me

After the party, so...

Strongest drug I'm on

Is double macchiato.

Are we done?

No, no, no. We're not.

Talk to me.

Make me understand

Why you wanna spend so much time

With a guy like him

When you have all

Your other friends.

What other friends?

Can't believe I'm gonna

Say this out loud.

It sounds so stupid, but i...

I thought damien got me.

You know, we could just

Hang out together

And do nothing.

He was there for me.

That kind of a guy

Always is.

Yeah.

Yeah, well...

Lesson learned. Thank you.

[Elevator bell dings]

[Elevator doors open]

[Whispers] for what?

A speechless chuck bass.

Will wonders never cease?

Honestly, I never thought

You'd talk to me again.

Neither did i.

But then I got a phone call

From your friend blair.

Not a staged call--

A real one.

She told me you may have said

All those things

On the phone with her

For the wrong reasons...

But that you also

Meant them.

When it comes to me,

Blair has a nasty habit

Of never being wrong.

She said the same thing.

So I've decided to ignore

My better judgment

And give you a second chance.

If you ever lie to me again--

You have my word.

Business is business.

You need to do what's right

For thorpe enterprises.

I'll find another way

To save my family legacy--

One that doesn't

Involve you.

I would...

But I can't right now.

I have a meeting.

Dinner tonight?

Room service.

[Beeping]

Epperly's been in with stefano

For over an hour.

But... It was just gift bags.

And we still got them there

On time.

This is all my fault.

I wanted epperly to get laid,

Not laid off.

Did you get fired?

Of course not.

The party was a huge success.

Are you having

A psychotic break?

No, but I am taking a break.

I quit.

[Laughs] blair, at the party,

I ran into the guy

That I dated when I was

Living in london,

And we spent the whole night

Together--just talking.

And he is heading off to bali

To a yoga retreat,

And i... Decided

I want to go with him.

You're leaving the magazine

For "eat pray love"?

I guess

You can't have it all.

No, of course you can.

Don't quit.

You're amazing at your job.

I know,

And you will be, too.

What?

As a token

Of my appreciation

For helping me see

What was missing in my life,

I suggested that you be promoted

To replace me. Congratulations.

Stefano's giving you

A trial run, starting now.

This is the office,

International, stefano only.

Now your day begins

Every morning at 6:00 a.m.

With the milan

Conference call.

No, no, I am a full-time

Student. I go to columbia.

If james franco can do it,

So can you.

Blair, you wanted it all,

And you just got it.

They say the universe

Has a great sense of humor,

That sometimes

Having your dreams come true

Can feel like a nightmare.

[The naked and famous'

"Young blood" playing]

The board is waiting for us.

Raina, after last night,

I need to ask

If I have your full support

To buy bass industries.

Yes, under one condition.

Name it.

After the deal closes,

I want you to give chuck

A chance to be part

Of the new company.

I don't need chuck's help

To run bass industries.

Yes, you do.

You just

Don't know it yet.

Because getting what you want

Always comes

With strings attached.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Archibald, humphrey.

What are you guys doing here?

Well, we came looking for eric.

We ran into your dad instead.

He's a nice guy.

I mean, at least he was to us.

How he is to you

After what we told him

Might be a different story.

Wait. You guys realize

What you've done?

My dad's gonna cut me off!

And even when you think

You're finally in the clear,

You're never home free.

You haven't slept.

I couldn't,

Not until I knew

You were safe.

Last night at the party

When everyone else doubted you,

I never did, not for a second,

And I never will.

What about your family?

What if us being together

Drives them all away?

I don't think it will,

But that's a risk I'm willing

To take if you are.

♪ The bittersweet

Between my teeth ♪

Every happy ending

Is just a new beginning...

Because on the upper east side,

The good times

Never last forever.

X.o.x.o. Gossip girl.