Mr. St. Nick (2002)

[bunniefuu]

Mr. St. Nick ( 2002 )


[Man]

And it shall come to pass, on the th day of the thmonth of the hundredth year, [that the reigning ClausAwill pass the torch pass, and the sack...

to his heir,the Claus Apparent.

Dasher, any sign of him?

[groans]



Keep a look out for him.

Sweetheart, we're starting.

He'll be here.

Come on.

Yes, dear.

♪ [trumpet fanfare]



Bring forth the torch!

And then I say, uh. . .

"All hail King Nicholas XX. "

[door closes]

And you come and takeyour place at the throne. . .

as quickly as possible. . .

without burning yourself. . .

and then I say,"Bring forth the sack!"

witho♪ [fanfare]

yourself. . .

And then I say,"All hail Queen Carlotta!"

And so on and so forth, and then you take your place over here at the throne. . .

very quickly, if possible.

And then we're readyfor the big intro. . .

veryThe Crown Prince,ible.

Nicholas St.

Nicholasvon Claus!

♪ [fanfare]



[wind whistling]



Prince NicholasSt.

Nicholas von Claus!

♪ [fanfare]

Knock it off!

He's not coming.

Well, it's all right, dear.

It's just a rehearsal.

Where in blazesis that son of mine?

Well,Nick, amigo!

ght, dear.

It's just a rehearsal.

Hector, glad you could make it!

And this is my favoriteclient, Heidi-- Heidi Gardelle, I know.

I'm such a big fan of yours.

You know, I can't start outoritemy morning until I hear you say "It's going to be another sunny,sultry day in paradise. "

How sweet.

"I'd rather be homewatching Heidi. "

Cute, huh?

My idea.

Yes, Hector.

We all knowyou're the best P. R. guyin Miami.

Why don't you go getyourself a drink?

Sure, and I'll let you twoget to know each other.

Yes, thank you.

Hi, I'm Nick-- St. Nicholas,Yes, I know.

You do?

I might be on the backHi, I'mof public transportation, St. Nicholas,but you are on I know.

You do?

the front of magazines.

I might be on the backHow did that get there?

ortation, "Miami's Most EligibleBachelor. "

I might be on the backHoI begged them to k*ll that.

on, You know, I lovethat speech you gave at the Heart Foundation dinner.

I wanted to talkto you afterwards-- Why didn't you?

I wanted to talktoToo shy, I guess.

You were so eloquent.

What could I have said?

"You were so eloquent"would have been fine.

Would you care to dance?

I'd love to.

Excuse me, sir.

This isn'ta good time for you.

You wanna bet?

But you're late.

For what?

The rehearsal'snot till midnight.

It is midnight, sir.

Arctic time.

So we'll be a little late.

No, we won't.

Your father would k*ll you, and your mother would k*ll me!

Jasper, I'd like youto meet Heidi.

Heidi, this is Jasper.

Excuse us,we have a dance to catch.

But this is aonce-in-a-lifetime moment!

You got that right!

All right.

That's enough.

Look, I'm a very busy wizard.

I've got back-to-backbookings all season: rites and rituals, summer solstice ceremonies, winter solstice ceremonies.

So if your familygets their act together, I'll see you at the realthing on Christmas Eve.

All right, sir,you've had your fun.

It's time to go.

Not now, Jasper!

Oh, no, not now!

Yes, now.

You're late!

I'm sorry about that,it's just that-- Yes, now.

YouIt was just a rehearsal-- For the biggest nightthat,of your life!

t that-- This is your date with destiny.

We have to make sure nothinggoes wrong.

Well, it's prettystraightforward.

Mom gives me the sack,you give me the torch,I'm Santa Claus.

What could go wrong?

Oh, I don't know.

The guest of honorcould forget to show up?

That's not gonna happen.

Look, tonight, things just got awayfrom me a little bit.

I just metthe most wonderful woman.

[laughing]



Really.

I just metthe most wonderful No, no.

I think this one's special.

Really.

I just metNicky, is she specialthe most woenough to be Mrs. C?

Well, she might be.

Really.

I jI'd now more if you hadn'tialthezapped me here!to be Mrs. C?

Two weeks from coronation and you stillhaven't found a queen!

When I took over from my father, I was there at Halloween, with my beard on my faceand my bride at my side. father, But you!

No beard.

No queen.

with my beard on my faceAnd apparently, no watch.

father, If I didn't know better,I'd think you didn't wantto take over.

Well, I do.

I just wantto try to do things a little differently,that's all.

I just wantBut you refuse to listen to any of my ideasto improve Christmas.

How do you improveon Christmas?

Okay, okay.

Now, let's just hear him out.

Tell us your ideas, Nicky.

Now, let's jOkay. ear him out.

For one thing, I think we shouldtry to increase productivity.

New technologiesare introduced every day, but this place is stillstuck in the dark ages.

We've always worked beautifullywith pure elf power, right?

On a personal note:but this placthis whole beardstuck in the and belly thing-- I mean, why would I wantto cover up this good,strong jaw?

On a personal note:but this plaC'mon.

And whyardstuck in thecouldn't we relocate I mean, why would I wantto cour headquartersd,stroto a warmer climate?

Can't I bring joyto the world without freezingmy ornaments off?

[laughter]

Dad, would you stoplaughing at me?

Oh, Nicky.

[laughterHe's laughing with you.

Oh, was I laughing?

Did anybody see me laughing?

Well, there'sanother problem, son.

You're not very jolly,are you?

Two minutes ago,I was plenty jolly.

If I may, sir?

The Prince hasa marvelous sense of humor.

Thank you, Jasper.

If I may, sir?

And while it may not be evidentthis evening, I can assure you, sir, he has the mostimportant quality of a true von Claus-- generosity.

And I thinkhis ideas are wonderful.

This is not just a business.

You don't understandwhat Christmas is.

It's love, kindness, good-will to mankind.

That's in your heart,not in your database.

Christmas is the one dayof the year when strangers smile,at each other,tabase.

when people go out of their wayto be with family and friends and show the people they lovehow much they love them.

And that's magical.

But I'm not sureyou feel the magic.

And if you don't, you're not ready to be Santa.

I see.

Could it be that maybe you'renot ready to give up the throne?

Oh, nonsense!

Fine.

If you don't want meto take over, I won't!

Oh, nonsense!

Fine!

Then don't!

[wind blowing]

Fine!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, I am so sorry!

Are you hurt?

No, no I'm fine.

Well, maybe my ego'sbruised a little.

Can we get a drink?

Sorry about, maybe my ego'sthat misstep earlier.

le.

I guess I just wentsomeplace else for a moment.

What were youthinking about?

Uh. . .

my father.

Please,won't you have a seat?

Thank you.

Uh. . .

my father.

Seems he just neverfails to trip me up.

Oh, unrealistic expectations? er.

Oh, you could saythat, yeah.

Yours too?

My father wants meto be Connie Chung, but the thought ofnot being blonde just-- That's very funny!

But what about your father?

What does he expect?

He wants me to take overthe family business.

Oh, what's that?

Christmas.

Uh, gifts, shipping,toys mostly.

But he refuses to listento any of my ideas.

He won't let meupdate anything.

Seems he's just stuckin the last century.

How does he makehis deliveries?

Pony Express?

Reindeer.

How does he makehis deliveries?

[chuckles]

ss?

Reindeer, Christmas gifts.

I get it.

[laughs]

You're pretty funny yourself!

Well. . .

Wait.

You should talk to Hector.

He has a very interesting idea.

I think you might like it.

So I suggested Nick forgetabout the family business and start one of his own.

Well, I've gotthe primo idea, amigo.

It's an onlineChristmas charity.

And you'd bethe perfect guy to run it.

You're already hugeon the fund raising circuit, so why not startyour own charity?

Sounds intriguing.

Call me tomorrowand we'll talk.

Okay, Hector.

Good night.

Good to see you.

Why don't you call metomorrow as well?

And we'll talk?

Talking's good.

To start with.

I'm glad we finally met.

Me too.

Good morning, Jasper.

And a lovely morningit is, too.

Oh, thank you.

Great party last night, huh?

[chuckles]

Yow!

Does Mrs.

Sarathi haveto put curry on everything?

Anything wrong?

You're not your usual chattyelf self this morning.

[TV on]

AnOoh!

Heidi!

g?

...another sunny, sultry day in paradise.

And yet, it remainsoddly chilly in here.

What's going on, Jasper.

Why the silent treatment?

Do you have to goremainsout of your wayly in here.

to attack your fatherand his traditions?

Me?

Every time I open my mouth,all I get is the old, h* h* h*.

Why not just show up,take over, and then changewhatever you want?

Every time I open my mouth,all I get Yeah, well.

h* h* h*.

It's a little latefor that, isn't it?

He obviously doesn't think I'mready to fill his boots.

And what do you think?

HeAnd what is that supposedI'mreto mean?

ill his boots.

Do you think you're ready?

I know your father isa hard act to follow, and Christmas isan enormous responsibility, and we all get nervousat the idea of a challenge--Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting thatI'm afraid to take over?

Well, I was merelystating that-- Are you suggesting thatFor Heaven's sake, Jasper, me?

Afraid?

[laughing]

Me?

C'mon. . .

What was I thinking?

You don't like my cooking?

Fine, I won't cook anymore!

No, no Mrs.

Sarathi,the food's delicious.

Hot--[coughing]

[laughing]

. . . but delicious.

I was merely suggesting that perhaps you should trya little less--[laughing]

. . .

If I wanted to be mistreated, I could go backto my own country!

Now, now, let's notget carried away.

Carried away?

I'll showyou carried away.

I quit!

Is there a problem?

Not if you mailmy check to Daytona!

Why is it so difficultto keep a cook?

All I want is someone who canrun the kitchen as smoothlyas you run the this house.

Is that too much to ask?

Not at all, sir.

Good.

Then you'll find a replacementby the end of the day.

Will you help interviewthe candidates?

For Heaven's sake, Jasper,you know I'm busy.

Very well, sir,I'll find a new cook the moment I finishaddressing your cards Vand doing yourIChristmas shopping.

Splendid.

And don't forgetto hang the lights.

[muttering]

I'll hang your lights.

Jasper, you know I don't like itwhen you answer back to me.

You've got a big dayahead of you.

Don't fall apart on me.

You seem to havea lot of experience.

I have a degreein hotel management, and I'm not afraidof long hours.

I'm sorry,all I have are jobs for maids.

and I'm not aMy niece is a good,of long hourshard-working girl!

I'm sorrI wish I had somethingall I haelse to offer her.

ids.

[bad Spanish accent]

Imigracion!

Buenos noches, Senorita.

Buenos dias,Officer.

You can speak English.

Well, won't that be a nicechange of pace for me.

Buenos dias,Officer.

You can Do you have your papers?

Yes. . .

Well, won't that be a nicechange Tu tienes un papel?

Expires in thirty days.

What are your plans?

I was hope-- I was hopingires in thirty days.

to extend my visa.

your plans?

I want to finda job here in Miami.

I want to help take carety days.

of my Aunt and my nephew.

ans?

Well, isn't that lovely?

I'm sure there'slots of work here.

Only maid work.

I'm sure there'sShe's overqualified.

Well, let me tell you,Miss Braga, if you think you're too goodfor this kind of work-- Oh, I don't, Agent. . .

Nerdo.

No, no, no, it's Nardo.

Nardo, never Nerdo-- Nardo.

I'm sorry-- Nardo.

But I'm sureI'll find work.

If you can get a job,anyone can.

[laughing]

Well, well, well. . .

a feisty one.

I'll be keepingWellmy eyes on you.

If anything else opens up,could you give me a call?

Sure.

Did I mention that she'snot afraid of hard work?

This child hassuch gifts.

Okay, Tia.

Esperate.

She's a fabulous cook.

Hmm.

You have to stay coolwith the INS.

But he was sucha slimy little weasel!

Oh!

Excuse me, Ms. Braga?

Do I know you?

No, but I'd liketo offer you a job.

As a maid?

[chuckles]

No.

She'll take it.

Tia Sophia!

What kind of job?

Working of Mr.

NickSt.

Nicholas.

You mean the guyon the magazine?

"Miami's most eligiblebachelor"?

That's right.

She'll take it!

"MHe needs someoneiblebato cook and plan parties.

That's right.

I heard you say you have aShdegree in hotel management, so I thought if youcan manage a hotel, you could certainlymanage a kitchen.

Am I right?

Yes!

You interested?

[both]

Yes!

How soon can you beat this address?

♪ [Latin jazz on radio]

Yes, Heidi Gardelle, please.

Tunes.

Yes, He[horn blares]

please.

[tires screech]

[shouts in Spanish]

You don't have to be so rude?

[tires screech]

[shouts in Spanish]

If he doesn't havehis breakfast in bed, ...he likes to have it here,by the pool.

Mr. St. Nicholas isa very social creature.

Loves people, love parties,loves entertaining.

Of course there'll be caterersto help you with that.

What else?

Oh, yes, your accommodation.

You'll have a private entrance.

I'll be living here?

Yes, is that all right?

Yes.

I'm sure my auntwill love her privacy again.

[gasps]

When will I meetMr.

St. Nicholas?

I don't believe he'shere at the moment.

I think I heard his Ferrarileave about ten minutes ago.

His Ferrari, is it red?

Yes.

His Ferrari, iIs that a problem?

I hope not.

I've set up several charities, so I can handle theadministrative stuff.

But I need a partnerwith a familiar face and fund raising clout.

But I need aOkay.

nerwith a familI'm listening.

It's an online charity.

It's a Web sitethat lets people ask for what they wantfor Christmas.

We buy the giftswith the money people donate.

for what they wantfor Christmas.

I like it.

WAnd people could donate morewthan just money, couldn't they?

Yeah.

We could match up peoplewith something to give with peoplewho need something.

Yeah.

There's a poor familythat wants to give peoplea computer to their kids, and you've got oneyou want to get rid of.

Or they need a Christmas dinnerand you've got a spare turkey.

Sure.

Or theyIt would be like runningand youmy own Christmas.

urkey.

Exactly.

In fact, Exacthe name I picked is. . .

MrStNick. com.

Oh, I don't know ifExacththat's really appropriate.

We could sh**t a couple ofcommercials at Heidi's station,promote the heck out of it.

What do you think?

[Woman on intercom]

Mr.

Villarba?

She's ready.

Wait until you seeMrs.

Claus.

Now that's festive, hmm?

Who plays Mr.

Claus?

That's where you come in.

Look, I don't thinkthat's a good idea.

Oh, why not?

Well, Santa Claus?

I don't think so.

re you come in.

Sure, you'd be great!

You're a great public speaker.

Yeah, but not on television,not on camera.

I don't have any experience.

Sure, you'd be great!

No experience?

public speaker.

No problem.

TV's great that way.

I'll walk you through it, give you tips on Telepromptertechnique.

Besides, who wouldn't believeyou as Santa Claus?

hrough it, Hi, Armando.

Pardon me, Mr. Nick.

Wow!

What smells so wonderful?

Dinner.

I'm making pabellon criollo.

WoThat's Venezuelan, isn't it?

Yes, that's whereI'm from originally.

I'm Lorena Braga,the new cook.

Nick St.

Nicholas,it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Lorena Say, don't I know youthe new coofrom somewhere?

No.

You look so familiarI'm Lorena Say, don't I know youthWell, you know us Latin women, dark hair, dark eyes, red lipstick,we're easy to confuse.

[shouts in Spanish]

That's it!

You drive a Volkswagen!

I don't knowabout Venezuela, Ms. Braga, but here,road rage is frowned upon.

In Venezuela, we stayon our side of the road.

Excuse me?

In There's somethingyon you should know.

road.

I don't really care for itwhen people talk back to me,especially in my own home.

No wonder you're stilla bachelor.

What's that supposed to mean?

I guess women lose their appealonce they start talking.

Jasper!

Jasper!

Is everything all right, sir?

No!

She drives a Volkswagen.

Right.

I'll take care of thatimmediately, sir.

Would you like me to quit now,or stay until you're found areplacement?

You don't want to quit.

Why do you want to quit?

Why does she want to quit?

Well--You don't want to quit.

She's extremely qualified.

She'll stay.

Just tell her how I feel aboutsarcastic remarks and such. . .

and when peopleanswer back to me.

To us, finally meeting.

I have to admit, I'm still a little apprehensiveabout doing that TV commercial.

Oh, you're a naturalfor the part.

And don't worry,I won't let you look foolish.

Well, there's reallyonly so much you can do.

Pepper?

Thank you.

I have to say,reallyI admire celebrities do.

who lend their namesand faces to charity.

Well, I always liketo speak out fora good cause.

And I admire that--a woman with strong opinions not afraid to speak her mind.

Thank you, Lorena.

You may go now.

Nick, let me beThank you, Lorenhonest with you.

One of the down sidesto being famous is that everybody wantsto get close to you, but not alwaysfor the right reason.

So I've becomea very guarded person.

bIt's not easy for mefto trust someone,on.

but I have a good feelingabout you.

bIt's not easy for meThe good feeling is mutual. e,on.

[sleigh bell alarm]

Good morning.

Good morning, dear.

Sleep well?

Good morning.

Good mornI love the busy season.

If Nick doesn't wantto take over, I could do thisfor another hundred years.

If Nick doesn't wantOh, dear,to take over, I was so looking forwardto retiring this year.

Valhalla hassome lovely condos open.

Ooh!

Are you all right?

Just a little dizzy.

[fabric tears]

Time to cut backon the milk and cookies, hmm?

It fit perfectly yesterday.

Cheap fabric.

I'm going to work.

Hi, I'm Nick St.

Nicholas.

And I'm Heidi Gardelle.

We're dressedas a couple of Clausesolas.

to tell you abouta wonderful new way Weto make everyone'sasholidays happier.

sesolas.

[Heidi]

Share a cyber-Christmason MrStNick. com.

w way Where we put peoplewho need help together with peoplewho can help.

Just e-mail us yourspecial Christmas wish, and we'll look for someonewho can help grant it.

[Nick]

Or, send a donation to helpsomeone else's wish come true.

Oh, my God.

Remember, "Mr. St. Nick"isn't just my name He hit me!

Did not!

Cut!

He hit me!

Oh, Hector,that was my best one so far.

That was great, kids.

You look terrific.

He hit me!

Oh, Hector,Can we lose the flop sweat?

far.

Make up!

Loose!

Loose, okay, loose.

Heidi, can I talkto you for a second?

Sure.

I'll be right back.

Can you help him out?

He's clutching a little bit, and for God's sake,you're treating the kidslike they've got cooties.

Her hand's all sticky.

A couple of hand wipesover here!

And let's lose the cr*pple kid. .

Yeah, hey, thanks, buddy.

Thanks.

Okay.

Take nineteen.

ripple kid. .

Yeah, hHey, did you see that?

That's not his wheelchair!

That kid can walk!

I know!

Isn't it wonderful?

You are doing a terrific job.

Oh, this suit is k*lling me.

Oh, it's just nerves.

It happens to everyone.

You are doing a terrific job.

Just have fun with it.

illing me.

So, what did you think?

I think you look likea cheap burlesque of everythingyour family stands for.

ou think?

Oh, come on, Jasper.

It's all in good fun.

All for a good cause.

The next time you feel compelledto lampoon a holiday legend, why don't you dress upas the Easter Bunny?

Jasper.

What?

What's going on?

My belt,it's tightening up.

What's happening?

Help me out here.

Can you get that undone?

Get it off me!

Get rid of it.

Get it-- What the heck?

What should I do?

off me!

Throw it in the closet,for God's sakes!

- What the heck?

WhaOw, ow!

Ow!

do?

off me!

Here, here,pull on the hat.

Pull on it!

Jasper!

Do you supposehis Imperial h* h* h* has anything to do with this?

Very funny, Dad.

This isn'tyour father's work.

There are forces in this worldbigger than your father, bigger than Christmas itself.

Jasper, you're scared.

No, I'm not.

I'm angry.

I haven't served youfaithfully for years to see you strangledby a cheap pieceof red spandex.

[rumbling]

This is some bad mojo.

Easy on top, there, amigo.

Ow!

♪ ["Jingle Bells"]

♪ Jingle bells,jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it isto ride ♪

♪ In a one horse♪ Jingle open sleigh, hey ♪

The empanadas are ready.

Hi. ♪ [stops]

They smell wonderful.

What would I do without you?

Auntie Lorena, are you reallyliving with a millionaire?

I'm working for a millionaire.

Cool.

Keep practicing.

It's not time to takea break yet.

for a millionaire.

It sounds great.

Thanks.

Let's take it from the top.

♪ [resumes]

How's your new job?

Oh, you should seeSonrisa Del Mar.

It is so gorgeous.

It's like a castle.

your new job?

And your boss?

He's like a King.

Ah.

You are so good to these kids.

If I don't give them music,nobody else will.

Well, you're all set.

Oh, good.

Thank you.

Que es esto?

They said I could hire caterers,so I did.

Mm.

[indistinct]

Mmm, this is delicious.

Thank you.

It's my Tia's recipe.

Excuse me, sir.

We have an early arrival.

Thank you.

Oh.

It's my Tia's recipe.

You look so nice.

Nobody's going to be lookingat me.

Wow.

You are so eloquent.

Nobody's going to be lookingat me.

Look what I brought.

The commercial?

Yes.

Wonderful, we can show itto everyone to tonight.

Isn't that exciting, Jasper?

I can't wait, sir.

Did you seethat weather lady's mink?

That's not mink.

it's chinchilla.

There's no good reasonto wear fur.

What about when it snows?

There's no good reasonto wear fuIn Miami?

Imigracion!

[Jasper]

Excuse me, sir.

Not now, Jasper.

There's something rather urgent, that requiresyour immediate attention.

Hold that thought.

He has his papers,just not on him.

Still the feisty one, I see.

You cannot treat peoplethis way, you petty despot.

Listen here,my little jalapeno.

If I were you,I would no mas mucho hablo.

Okay, your visa's readyto run out.

What's going on here?

Okay, your visa's readyYou Nick St.

Nicholas?

Yes, I am.

Who are you?

Nardo.

I. N. S.

I'm citing youfor hiring ill*gal aliens.

None of these peopleare ill*gal. .

Everyone has papers,Officer.

I have copiesin my desk.

Kindly get them for him,Jasper. icer.

Certainly, sir.

And this one's iffy.

She is not iffy.

She's my cook.

Hmmm.

Well, the next timeI come back here, cook.

your "cook" better haveher working papers comprensiendo?

There isn't going to bea next time, Agent Nardo.

your "cook" better havehYou will kindly uncuff this man immediately, and you may review theseoutside.

I'm going to be watching you.

[grumbles]

I'm sorry about that,everybody.

[gHere, Nadja.

It's all right.

Thank you, Mr. St. Nick. Lorena, please take careof that visa. all right.

I was going to getthe forms tomorrow.

Just see that you do.

When are we going to openthe champagne?

Oh, champagne.

Well, that is a wonderful idea. .

Everyone, please, come and joinus for some champagne, and then we'll all watchthe commercial together.

Come on.

Allow me, dear. ♪

["Jingle Bells"instrumental]

Oh, Jasper, please.

Let's not have anyof this corny oldChristmas music tonight.

Certainly not, sir.

♪ [stops]

Here we go.

This is going to be great.

[On TV]

Hi, I'm Nick St.

Nicholas.

And I'm Heidi Gardelle.

[On TV]

Oh, don't they make Hi, I'ma lovely couple?as.

[Nick]

Let me tell you about a wonderful new way

[On TV]

to make everyone's Hi, I'm holiday happier. s.

[Nick]

[Gardelle]

Let me tell you about Share a cyber-Christmas. . .

way In here we have the kitchen.

[chuckling]

oliday happier. s.

Oh, good morning.

Something wrong?

[together]

No.

Sure you won't stayfor breakfast?

Oh, I can't.

Something wrong?

I've got to get to the station and tell Miamiwhat a beautiful dayit's going to be.

[Nick]

And what a beautiful nightit was.

Oh, well they don't needto know about that.

I'll call you later.

Okay.

She's great, isn't she?

I'm going to set thisby the pool.

Well, I must say,you and Miss Gardelle seem to be very chummy.

Jasper, I've been doingsome thinking.

I really like Heidi.

I want her to bethe real Mrs. Claus.

Really?

Jasper, you always taught me that when the time was right, I'd get a clear indicationof who Mrs. Claus should be.

Well, the time is right.

And I don't thinkit could be any clearer.

It's Heidi.

She's perfect.

It's Heidi.

Well, then, you're about readyto take over Christmas, It's Heidi. aren't you?

Good morning.

The best.

What are you so happy about?

Look at these hits.

The ad's only aired once, and already we'vetaken in $ , .

Hm.

And we get to keepethe whole enchilada.

Lucky for us there areso many generous peoplein the world.

[giggles]

Lucky for us there areCome the new year,eoplewe'll be enjoying an early retirementon Grand Cayman, Lucky for us there areCome the new year,eopleall thanks to Mr. St. Nick.

[Heidi]

Thank you,Mr. St. Nick.

[giggles]

[Heidi]

Thank you,Oh, Jasper, listen.

Mr. St. Nick.

I wanted to askyour opinion about something.

Oh, hi.

I'm planning on proposingto Heidi tonight, and, uh,I've never done this before, so quite frankly,I don't really knowwhat to say.

and, uh,I've neveAnd you want my advice?

Yeah, well maybe justa couple of pointers.

and, uh,Okay, so you're Heidi.

my advice?

What?

And uh, okay,just sit there.

Should I get down on one knee,or is that too old-fashioned?

Women have fallen for itfor centuries,so it must work.

Okay.

Um. . .

[clears throat]

Okay.

Oh, sir Um. .

What do you think womenwant to hear?

Oh, sir I suppose you could always tellher that you love her.

Love.

Love is good.

Yes.

Hmmm.

Um.

It's a tricky one.

Start by telling herhow you feel.

List the qualities she hasthat make her special to you.

Do you mind?

Not at all.

Thank you.

Because that iswhat is important, that she is special to you.

Maybe you enjoyher fun-loving spirit.

Yes, I do.

I do.

Then tell her.

Okay Heidi, most people waittheir whole lives hoping to findthat special someone.

To feel a connection to feel as if they're meantto be together.

That that personis your other half, your soul mate.

And every day I look forwardto seeing your face and hearing your voice.

And every day I look forwardAnd when I walk into a room-- I just hope you'll be there.

Yes.

Will you marry me?

What do you think?

I-- I think it will work.

Do you have a ring?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

it will work.

I knew I was forgettingsomething.

[gasps]

That will definitely work.

Thanks.

[laughs]

[gasps]

[Secretarial Elf]

Stewart Ames.

[Santa]

Naughty.

Cynthia Aaron.

Nice.

Cynthia Aaron.

Next.

Brian Abbott.

Very naughty.

Or maybe he's nice.

No, naughty.

I'm pretty surehe's naughty.

Next.

Joanne Abernathy.

Nice.

Give her that dollshe wants.

She wantsa Razor Scooter, sir.

Give her that dollOh, of course.

Give her the scooter.

Next?

Give her that dollAlbert Artale.

urse.

Give her the scooter.

Next?Nicholas, I-- Would you excuse usa moment, please?

Nicholas, have you lookedoutside recently?

Oh, what's wrongwith the Aurora Borealis?

I don't know.

And I don't knowwhat's wrong with you.

Me?

Nothing's wrong with me.

I'm fine.

You are not fine.

Look at you.

You're not yourself.

You can't fix toys.

You don't know which childis which anymore?

Nicholas,something is very wrong.

I think we should call Mimir.

No, no.

I don't need to seeany blasted wizard.

Everything's perfectly normal.

No, no.

I don't need to seeanThat's normal?

rd.

Everythi[chattering]

ly normal.

You thoughtof everything.

I'm just doing my job.

You don't seem too happyabout Mr. St. Nick's romance.

The woman wears fur.

Primitive, but not a crime.

And that dress.

I've seen more fabricon a pot-holder.

And why, may I ask,should you care?

I don't care.

What makes you think I care?

I just-- I just don't have a goodfeeling from that woman.

Jasper, can we getthe lights any lower?

Not unless I dimMiami, sir.

[Nick]

Where's the dessert?

It's right here.

What are you doing?

I'm putting the ringinto the dessert.

Not in my soufflé.

It's romantic.

No, it isn't.

Do you want her to choke?

Choke?

She should choke--She could choke on that ring.

She has a point, sir.

SheYou wouldn't want to haveSheto Heimlich your fiancée. .

So I should just give itto her?

SheYou wouldn't want to haveSheto Heimlich your fiOkay. . .

Thanks, Lorena.

I don't know what I'd dowithout you.

SheYou wou"Heimlich" my fiancée.

Sheto Heim[chuckles]

fiOkay. . .

What was all that about?

She "should chokeon that ring"?

I didn't want my souffléruined by a big diamond.

Or a big blonde.

Of course,you're not falling for him.

Me?

For Mr. St. Nick?

Are you kidding?

I saw the way your eyes lit up For Mr. when you were helping himAre youwith the proposal.

I am not falling for him.

I am not.

Heidi, there'ssomething I want to ask you.

People wait their whole lives, hoping to findthat special someone, and when they do,they should seize the moments, and not let it get away.

and when they do,Heidi, will you-- the moments, I was in the middleof something very important.

More importantthan destroying Christmas?

What are you talking about?

MrStNick. com?

What's next?

Chanukah-in-a-can?

Explain yourself, Nicky.

Explain what?

That horrible commercial.

You mean you saw italready?

Shame on you,turning our proud familyTheritage and our nameal.

into that vulgar website.

And that suit was awful.

Okay, you're right.

You're right.

But the message was good,don't you think?

Message?

When I was your age,I had a real message.

Peace on earth.

Good will toward men.

Yes.

I'm just trying to expandPon that. earth.

That dot-com thingis a stupid idea.

And lazy.

You're looking for other peopleto do your work.

That's not true.

Dad, you only take careof children.

ThaWhat about adults?

I'm just trying to get moregifts to deserving people.

And if you'd listenedto my ideas inthe first place-- Don't turn this aroundand blame me.

You have never included me.

Even when I was a little boy I used to beg you to let mesit on your lap and drive the sleigh.

IA little Santa wants to dosthat with his father.

And every boy wants to spendChristmas with his dad.

I couldn't.

Ah, here we go.

This younger generation livesto drag up the past. 't.

Fine.

You don't want to talkabout it, let's not talkabout it.

You know, now's not reallya good time for me anyway.

I think I've found my Queen.

The beautiful womanin that commercialthat you two hate so much.

That's the womanyou intend to marry?

Yes.

And I should be home rightnow asking her to-- marry me!

Yes.

Oh, Nick.

That is so sweetand romantic and loud.

Well, I'm just so excitedI want the world to knowhow happy I am.

Heidi. . .

will you marry me?

Yes.

I would love to.

That's not exactly howwe rehearsed it.

Well, it worked, didn't it?

Why did you zap him outin mid-sentence?

I didn't.

You mean, he zapped himself?

Oh.

Now, that does it.

I'm calling Mimir.

No, no, don't call that--that quack.

She just did.

Mimir.

Yes, the quack himself.

Oy, I hate makingMimir.

house calls.

So, what areYes, the qthe symptoms?

Well, he can't fix toys or get into his suit or rememberwho's naughty and nice, and he's lost his appetite.

Blast it, Carlotta, I'm fine.

And, he's losinghis jollies.

That's definitely not goodfor a Santa.

Let's see what the runescan tell us.

That's definitely not good"Herring rots from the head. "

[Santa]

Huh?

That's definitely not good"H"Only salmon swim upstream.

The wise cod rides the tide. "

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it meanssomething's fishy.

How should I know?

I just read the stuff.

I don't write it.

Can you try to interpret them?

Oh, all right.

Can you tJust for the "halibut. "

Okay, let's see.

"Herring rots from the head. "

I suppose that refers to you.

I'm a herring?

You're the head.

Of the household,and the holiday.

If something's wrongwith the head, the whole holiday goes bad.

"Only salmon swim upstream. "

Now that must referto your spawn.

Nick?

He's swimmingmust referin the wrong direction.

Away from Christmas andeverything that goes with it.

While you're hangingon past your time. "The wise cod rides the tide. "

That means, go with the flow.

Follow the natural order,father to son.

You can't battle forcesThat mbeyond your control. ow.

It's the twelfth monthof the hundredth year, and that means Nick'sbecoming Santa Claus, whether you like it or not.

Ah, enough of this nonsense.

"Flow with the cod" my foot.

I've got work to do.

I have a Christmas to deliver.

You couldn't delivera newspaper.

You're losing your powers,and your son's getting them.

The kid's got to handleChristmas, or there won't bea Christmas.

So, it's all up to Nicky?

or there won't be[sighs]

a Christmas.

Voila.

There you have it,the family home.

Oh, Nick.

That's amazing.

Oh, and the crowning touch-- here's Dad.

[chuckles]

Uh, Dad's holiday decorations.

He goes all outfor Christmas, I'll tell you.

And where did you sayyour parents lived?

decorations.

He goes all outfor ChristUp north.

tell you.

Way up north.

I can't wait to meet them.

[muttering]

Oh, yes you can.

You know,I've been doingsome thinking.

I was planning an intimatesoiree on Christmas Eve.

What do you say we getmarried then?

[wines spills]

[Jasper]

What do you say we getI beg your pardon, sir.

On Christmas Eve?

Nick, that is so romantic.

Excuse me, sir, but don't youhave something else to do on Christmas Eve?

No, Jasper,don't you remember?

That was cancelled.

NLorena,er,dwhat do you think?

Can we pull offThata wedding?

lled.

In a week?

Sure, why not?

A Christmas Eve wedding.

You are the best gifta girl could ever get.

Really?

h*-h*-h*-h*.

Are you all right, sir?

Of courseI'm all right, Jasper, I've never been better.

ArHo-h*-h*-h*.

ght, sir?

I'm just very happy.

You're positively jolly, sir.

I'h*-h*-h*-h*.

happy.

You're[continues]

jolly, sir.

Madre de Dios.

Look.

What is that?

It looks likethe Northern Lights.

In South Beach?

Bet you didn't forecast that.

h*-h*-h*-h*.

First we losethe Aurora Borealis, and now we're losing the snow.

Mimir is right.

All your Christmas magicand now is going away.

he snow.

You have to passthe torch to Nicky before it goes out altogether.

At least talk to him.

befoTell him what's going on. .

Oh, all right.

talk to him.

Nicholas XXI, come home.

[gasps]

You mean you can't even zaphim home anymore?

I just need a little rest.

Reach out and touch him.

...is kind of spectacular cosmic display that normally occurs in arctic areas.

And yes, your Miami meteorologist was amazed along with everyone else.

[phone rings]

I mean, no one could've predicted this. . .

Hello?

Oh, hello, Your Majesty.

Uh, okay.

Just hold on one moment, sir.

It's your father.

Oh, it is, is it?

Well, please tell him for me,er.

it'll be a cold day in Miami before I talk to him again.

Yes, I know it'salmost Christmas Eve.

Can I call you right back,Your Majesty?

Yes, I know it'salmost ChrThank you..

[Jasper]

What was all that about?

I've spent my entire lifetrying to please that man.

Well, not anymore.

You don't want to do this, sir.

Marry Heidi and never speakWell,to my father again?

That's exactlywhat I want to do.

Marry Heidi and never speakWell,to m[revs engine]

n?

[tires screech]

Today's temperatureshould reach the low 's, and that means it's going to be another sunny, sultry dayin paradise.

I'm Heidi Gardelle.

[State Manager]

And cut.

[stage bell rings]

Hi.

Hi.

What a nice surprise.

Are you busy?

Just finished doingthe weather for the week.

In one day?

It's Miami.

The only thingthat changes is my clothes.

In'Course I may have to doupdates on this wholeNorthern Lights thing.

i.

Right.

Can we talk?

Sure.

Come on in.

Here, have a seat.

Before we get married, I thought there were a fewthings about me you should know.

It's only right that I open upand tell you everything, right?

Of course.

I'm Santa's heir apparent.

Excuse me?

My father is Santa Claus.

I was supposed to take overthe family business, but he is so bull-headedYour father is Santa Claus?

Yes.

but he is so bull-headedAt some pointyou're going to meet the folks,?

and it's going to come up,believe me, so I just thought youshould know what's going on.

Your father is Santa Claus?

Yes.

Oh, it feels so good to finally beopen about all this.

No, are there any secrets youmight want to tell me about?

I can't go throughwith this marriage.

Why not?

I can't go throughwith Why not?

riage.

He thinks he's Santa's son.

He's eccentric.

He's nuts.

It's a win-win situation.

If he's crazy,then his "Mrs.

" gets controlof his fortune.

And if he is Santa,then we get a major pieceof the Christmas action. .

Plan your wedding.

Either way,we're going to be very rich.

Hmm?

[chuckles]

♪ [humming"Here Comes The Bride"]

How long?

Two minutes, five seconds.

Oh, perfect.

Now, where am I going to putthe choir of angels?

How about on the upper terrace?

But then people won't see me.

They'll see you when you walkdown the stairs.

But then peoI'm in Vera Wang.

I want them to see methe whole time.

You'll be the onein the train and the tiara, trust me, you'll makean impression.

Hello, ladies.

How's it coming?

Awful.

Good.

Lorena is fighting meevery step of the way.

I'm just trying to help.

How?

By underminingmy wedding?

I'm doing no such thing.

You know, at a time like this a certain amount of anxietyis quite normal.

Oh, really?

And is it normal for the cook to be making eyesat my future husband?

What?

Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at him.

This is ridiculous.

Is it?

Nick, it's me or her.

You have to let her go.

Uh-- Uh. . .

Forget it.

I do not need to sit hereand listen to this.

I quit.

I do not need to sit hereand listen to tWell. . .

Uh-huh.

Hi.

This where Lorena Braga lives?

Who wants to know?

Nick St.

Nicholas.

Oh, her boss.

Yeah.

And you are?

Danny, her nephew.

She'll be right back.

She went to pick upsome of the band.

Band?

What band?

I'm in a band.

My grandmothergives us music lessons.

We're learning Christmas songs.

She's insideif you want to talk to her.

Great, thanks.

Best time of the year,isn't it?

rning Christmas songs.

Not long before Santagets here.

Great, thanks.

[thinking]

Best time of the ye Yeah, right.

isn't it?

rning Chri I wish.

ngs.

You're a skeptic, huh?

Great, thanks.

[thinking]

Best time of the ye Yeah, right.

isn't it?

rning What do you mean?

The way you just said,"Yeah, right, I wish"

Great, thanks.

[thinking]

Best time of the ye Yeah, right.

Sounds like you don't believe.

n?

I didn't say anything.

Great, thanks.

[thinking]

Best time of the ye Yeah, right.

SoundsReally?

ou don't believe.

n?

Wow, that was weird.

Great, thanks.

[thinking]

Best You're right.

e Yeah, right.

SoundThat was weird.

t believe.

n?

She's a good girl, Lorena.

Put herself through school.

She works very hardto help her mama and papaback in Venezuela.

She says you're marryingsomebody on television?

Yes.

Heidi Gardelle,Channel .

Can she cook?

Yes.

Heidi Gardelle,Well, I'm not sure.

Does she want babies?

Well, you know,I just assumed that she'd--

[laughs]

You men.

You ask more questionsbuying tires than you dopicking a wife.

[chuckles]

[laLorena--Youshe wants babies.

And you know how she can cook.

Tia Sophia.

Well, it's true.

What are you doing here?

Just getting to knowyour aunt.

I had no idea she taughtmusic in her home.

ou doing here?

Just getting to knowyoYeah, Julliard's too far away.

Sophia,o idea she taughtin the spirit of the season,ere?

I'd like to do anything I canto help you and those kids.

You just name it.

You don't have to do that.

I'd like to do anything I cantoLet him be generous, Lorena.

I better get the kids started.

What are you doing here?

Look, I came to apologize.

I'm sorry.

I should have stood upfor you before, but Heidi can be kind of, well, you know, kind of-- but Heidi can be kinControlling?

No, well--Demanding?

No--Crazed with jealousy?

Maybe maybe she'sjust strong-willed.

She's a nervous bride, okay?

Please come back.

Does Heidi know you're here?

Don't worry, I'll smooth thingsover with her.

[chuckles]

Nobody is that smooth.

♪ [band playing"Jingle Bells"]

[chuckles]

Look, Lorena.

s that smooth.

You're the best cookwe've ever had.

And I just-- You're the best cookwe've eveand I-- I appreciate you.

And I-- please come back.

You know, love this song.

pleaseSince when?

♪ . . .

Is to ridein a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

Wow!

That was fantastic.

Say, I got an idea.

How would you guys like to playthat song on my next commercial?

You mean, on TV?

Yeah.

Hombre!

Awesome.

Are you sure?

Well, of course I'm sure.

Hombre!

These are nice kids.

They're terrific.

Are you sureThey're exactly whatMrStNick.

comWell,is all about.

m sure.

Yes, sir, I knew there wassomething shady aboutthis guy.

Absolutely, so I checked outhis so-called charity,and guess what?

He's siphoning all the money out of the MrStNick.

com accounts into his own personal accountin the Cayman Islands.

e money That should get us the warrant,right sir?

Yeah, well-- Yes sir, I know he's gotsome ritzy friends.

I'll wear a tie.

Yes Got it sir.

he's gotsomeThank you very much.

That was a nice thingyou did for those kids.

They did seem excited,didn't they?

How does your family spendthe holidays?

Is it a big deal for them?

How does your family spendOh, it's a very big deal.

My father has a lotof commitments that night.

Mostly because of his work.

He visits tons of people.

My father And you don't spend itof commitmwith him?

night.

No, no, uh. . .

I guess you could say't spend itour family's a little crazy.

Whose isn't?

Everybody comesfrom a crazy family.

Our grandparents driveour parents nuts.

Our parents drive us cuckoo.

It's all designedso we leave home and start a crazy familyof our own.

Freud couldn't have said itbetter.

In Venezuela, Freuwe'd invite the whole familybettover for Christmas dinner-- cousins,and that's just in one town.

But it has been foreversince we we've all beentogether.

No, Christmas is the timeto be with family, to be with the people you love, show themhow much you love them.

That's what my father says.

Well, he doesn't soundso crazy to me.

That's whTrust me.

her says.

I'm the normal onein the family.

Oh, man.

So, we'll go to Nickyfor a change.

I hear Miami is quite nicethis time of year.

It'd be a lot easierif he'd just take my calls.

On Dasher and Dancer.

It'd be a lot easierif he'On Prancer and Vixen.

[groans]

On Comet.

It'd be a lot easierif he'On Prancer On Cupid. .

Donner. . .

Blitzen.

[groans]

The sleigh won't fly.

[groans]

I can't get it up.

That's all right, dear.

That happens to everybodysometimes.

We'll just have to flycommercial.

Never.

Nicholas, your son needs you.

What for?

Apparently he's gotall the power now.

But he doesn't know that, and he doesn't knowwhat to do with it.

If he wants my help,he can bloody well come to me.

You stubborn old. . .

I'm going.

With you or without you,I'm going.

Then go.

With you or without you,I will.

ng.

[reindeer groans]

♪ ♪ Jingle bells, Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

Oh, what fun it is to give♪ Jithe MrStNick. com way. lls ♪

Log on if you want somethingspecial for Christmas.

[Heidi]

Or if you havesomething special to give.

Log onWe matchednt somethingspeciathese talented kids up with somebody who could givethem some brand-newinstruments, and just listento what we got back.

And, cut.

That's a wrap.

Beautiful.

Thanks.

And, cut.

That's a wraHoney?

I will see you at home.

Thanks.

And, cut.

Okay.

s a wraHoney?

Oh, that was great,Mr. St. Nick.

Oh, thank you,thank you Lorena.

Hey, kids, anything else youeat,want, just let me know.

ck.

Oh, thank you, [thinking]

thank you Lorena.

New bike.

Sneakers.

Walkman.

A new bike,Walkman, and sneakers-- they'll be underneath the treecome Christmas morning,I promise.

Walkman.

[Child # ]

Puppy.

A new bike,Walkm [Child # ]

Skateboard.

Okay.

Hold on a second.

[Child # ]

Puppy.

A I'm going to haveWato write this down.

eboard.

Uh, Lorena, do you have a pen?

Are you all right?

Of course I'm all right,I've never been better.

They're not talking, are they?

Will you excuse me a minute?

[garbled screaming]

You okay?

Hector, I-- I'm fine.

It's just the usualpre-holiday stress, I guess.

Pre-wedding jitters, pathological auditoryhallucinations.

Don't freak out on me, amigo.

rs, We got a good thing going here.

Okay, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, kids, sorry about that.

I guess all this excitementwas just too much for me, especially you playing.

out that.

That was exciting, and uh,thanks for coming.

You're all very talented, and uh, whatever I can do,I'm here for you.

[Child]

You're all very Good word.

Imigracion!

Nick St.

Nicholas?

You're under arrest.

[people gasp]

For heaven's sake, for what?

Fraud, and grand larceny.

[Child]

What?

Sorry kids, there ain't goingto be no Christmas commercial.

This whole MrStNick.

com thing is one big ole rip-off-dot-scam.

[Nick]

Danny.

Lorena You should be ashamedof yourself.

Come on!

[Nick]

Kids.

It's not true.

Oh, yes it is.

[Nick]

Kids.

It's noBut I'm not guilty.

[Nardo]

Come on!

[Child]

Why are they taking him away?

[Male Newscaster]

. . . and the Miami community was stunned by the allegations that St.

Nicholas embezzled funds donated to the charityty that bears his name, MrStNick. com. . .

How could he do this?

How could he do this?

that bears his name, MrStNick. com. . .

How could he do this?

He absolutely wouldn't.

You have to believe that,Lorena.

I'm sure it's justa big mistake.

Yeah, and I think I made it.

Adios, Jasper.

[clicks heels]

[pounds table]

Come clean, St.

Nicholas.

You confess,things'll go much easier.

Confess to what?

Stealing from the poorto give to the rich,namely, you.

All that charity money what?

transferredinto your Caymans account?

You make me want to puke.

Look, I don't havean account in the Caymans.

It's got your name on it.

No, the charityhas my name on it.

The-- Mm-hm. . .

Hector.

Hector must be behind all this.

The jailbird sings.

Jailbird?

What are you talking about?

[whistling]

What areHello. alking about?

Nicky.

I'm here.

I had to take two airplanesand hire a motor car.

ky.

[shudders]

Oh, hello.

I'm here.

I'd like a cup of tea, and then you can draw mea bubble bath. .

I'm here.

I'm not the maid.

and then you can draw mea bubbleOh, really?here.

I'm noWell, I'm glad to hear it, because if you were, that outfit would beentirely inappropriate.

I'm Heidi Gardelle,Nick's fiancée.

Oh, the girlfrom the commercial.

Well, I didn't recognize youwithout your fishnet stockings.

[mock chuckles]

And you are?

Nicky's mother.

Oh, you must have comefor the wedding tomorrow.

Oh.

Oh, you must have comeIt is so nice to meet you.

What should I call you?

Mother?

Mom?

Your Majesty.

Ah, Your Majesty.

What a pleasant surprise.

Jasper, where is he?

I must speak with himimmediately.

He's, uh, out, ma'am.

Let me get you settledimin your room.

y.

Yes, and I'll change, and then we can have teaand get to know each other.

Won't that be nice.

Come.

Nick will be delightedto see you, ma'am.

Well, this isn'ta social visit.

Oh, Jasper.

My husband has lostall his powers.

They're been transferredto Nick.

Oh, Jasper.

Really?

That explains quite a bit.

This is no longer a simple feudbetween father and son.

Nick has got to take overas Santa.

Don't worry, Ma'am.

I'll take care of everything.

You just relax.

I would like to wash up.

Over there, ma'am.

I'll turn on the TV. to wash up.

You can unwindafter your long flight.

[Man]

Nick St.

Nicholas was arrested today while filming a commercial for his website-- Can't find the remote.

Where's the remote?

I can't find it.

Ah, never mind.

Who needs TV anyway?

Perhaps a little napwould be good.

I've got to talk to Nick.

You just leave that to me.

[phone rings]

I've Hello.

talk to Nick.

How soon can you getto the airport?

Nick's been arrested, and I've got $ million you getand two tickets to the Caymans.

Flight's in one hour.

I'm on my way.

k's been arrested, Did you hear what's happenedto Nick?

Just found out.

There must be some mistake.

I'm going to see him now.

Just found out.

There must I'm right behind you.

[Woman]

. . . while filming a commercial-- They wouldn't have arrested himif they didn't have proof.

Don't be so quick to judge,Mija.

He's innocentuntil proven guilty.

This is America.

Besides, it's Christmas.

Peace on earth,good will towards men.

I hate men.

I can't believehe's a crook.

I know.

I know.

He had us all fooled.

e men.

No, I'm sayingI don't believe it.

I know Mr.

St. Nickcan be weird and all, but a crook?

This guyis totally into giving.

And look.

Look what he's done for us,for all the kids.

This guyA crook wouldn't do that.

And look.

Look what he's done for us,Merry Christmas, St. Nicholas.

Perhaps a night in cooler'llhelp jog your memory.

But I don't know anything.

Well, I don't.

[Man]

Hey.

Yes, sir.

Aren't you that guy on TV?

Santa Claus.

Alias Nick St. Nicholas.

y on TV?

Hey.

Hey, man.

Sit down.

Thank you.

St. Nicholas.

y on TV?

Get out of there.

[yelps]

So what're you in for?

Generosity.

Yeah?

Me, too.

I gave a new clientGenerosity.

a free sample.

He turns out to be a cop.

I'm telling you, man,no good deed goes unpunished.

Hm.

He turns out to be a cop.

Worst part?

My old lady set me up.

Really?

WoYeah.

art?

My friend Hector set me up.

Really?

At least I thoughthe was my friend.

WoYeah.

art?

Sir?

[Nick]

Jasper.

Ah, there you are.

Sir?

[Nick]

How are earth did this happen?

r.

Hector set him up, man.

Sir?

No.

[Nick]

How are earth did thisYes.

pen?

r.

Apparently, he tookall the money from the charity and put it inan offshore accountin my name.

AppaBut how he managedall to get that, I don't know.

Where's Miss Gardelle?

Heidi?

With any luck sheWheredoesn't even know I'm here.

Oh, she knows.

I told her.

Heidi?

What?

She said she was coming here.

This Heidiyour woman?

My fiancée.

This HeidiShe know this Hector?

your woman?

Yes, as a matter of fact,he introduced us.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

Oh.

Are you suggesting that-- But Heidi's my fiancée.

[Man]

And Hector was your friend.

I don't believe that Heidiwould set me up.

Yeah, well, it's 'causeyou're in denial, dude.

Sir, I haveother pressing news.

What, more pressingthan my fiancée framing mefor fraud?

Your mother's here.

[groans]

Dear.

You didn't tell herI was in jail?

No, of course not, but she told me that you-- um. . .

Could we have a private moment,please?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

You're Santa Claus.

Oh, yes, Jasper.

Very funny.

No, I'm not joking.

Your father isn't well.

The magic has left him and has come to you.

Are you sure?

You can't getout of your Santa suit.

You hear children'ssecret wishes.

You go on a date and bring the Northern Lightsalong?

Do I have to drawa picture, sir?

I'm Santa Claus?

Well, I'm doing a swell jobso far, aren't I?

Just when Santa Clausshould be loading uphis sleigh, I'm getting sent up the river.

Some Santa I turned out to be.

I couldn't even pickthe right Mrs.

Claus.

[Lorena]

We can find him ourselves,Some officer.

turned out to be.

Thank you.

[Nick]

Lorena.

Danny.

Just tell me[Nick]

you didn't do this.

I didn't.

I swear it.

[Danny]

I told you.

Hector and Heidi set him up.

I never likedthat woman.

Tell me about it.

Could you give us a minute?

Yeah, sure.

Lorena, please believe me.

I would never useChristmas that way, and I would never do anythingto disappoint those kids or you.

I know.

I believe you.

You do?

Well, I'm glad to hear that because there's somethingI've got to tell you, and it's going to sounda little crazy, because there's somethingbut, um. . .

o tell you, I'm--Sir.

because there's somethingJasper, not now.

you, I'm Santa Claus.

Santa Claus?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

You mean, you believe me?

Mr. Nick St. Nicholas, you are the kindest,most generous manI have ever known. . .

and if you tell meyou are Santa Claus, then I believe you.

I knew it.

No wonder you could hearwhat I was thinking.

And I want to makethose wishes come true, Danny.

I really do.

I hate to interrupt, sir, but you have to makean awful lot of wishescome true. .

and real quick.

but you have to makean awful lot of wishesRight.

ome true. . .

Jasper, you think I've gotall my father's powers?

Now would be an excellent timeto find out, sir.

Then, by the powerof Christmas. .

get me outta here.

Wow.

He really is.

He really is.

Man. . .

wish I could do that.

Where is he?

Over here.

I guess his navigationisn't fine-tuned yet.

I guess I really am Santa.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye, hope you enjoyedyour flight.

Hardly.

I'm sorry.

I'm normally pretty jolly, but I'm not myself lately, and I'm not used to flyingcommercial.

We better get out of here.

Nick, my car.

Right.

Now, everybody buckle-up.

Prisoner escaping!

Prisoner escaping!

There!

Prisoner escaping.

[Man]

Move!

Move!

Hold it!

[sirens blaring]

Does thing go over ?

Turn left, turn left.

Whoa.

[tires screeching]

Cut over.

[horn beeping]

[tires screeching]

What the. . .

Snow?

[horns honking]

[drivers clamoring]

[Woman]

It's snowing.

[Man]

I have no idea, man.

Well, what do we do now?

Perhaps we needmore Santa power, sir.

Here goes nothing.

Whao.

[laughing]

h*-h*-h*.

I'm getting the hang of this.

There's no wayI'm phoning this in.

Today's temperature should reach the low s, and that means it's going to be another sunny, sultry day in paradise.

I'm Heidi Gardelle.

Heidi-- what kind of nameis that for a Queen?

[Nick laughing]

[Lorena]

Whoa!

[honks]

[thudding]

Nicky.

[gasps]

[honks]

Mom.

Mother.

Sonny.

Sonny.

Oh, sweetie.

Nicky, how can you marrythat silly weather girl?

She can't even tell her sunsfrom her snowstorms.

Don't worry, Mom.

I'm not going to marry her.

You're not?

No.

I'd like you to meet Lorenaand Danny.

Where's Dad.

He wouldn't come.

He said, you should"bloody well come to him. " Well, forget it.

Of all the stubborn-- He said, you should"bloodyLike father, like son.

All right.

Take me to my father.

Oh, miss?

Aren't Mrs.

Claus,on that dreadful commercial?

Why, yes.

Excuse me, I'm running late.

I believe you know my son,Nick?

You're Nick's father?

Nicholas XX.

Well, I would love to stayand talk, but I have a flight to catch.

[magic whispers]

Nick.

[gasps]

Dad.

ut I have a flight to catch.

[magic whispers]

Nick.

Heidi.

Isn't it a small world?

I ran into the girlyou're going to marry.

Not anymore I'm not.

Where are you going?

Don't tell me.

Just off fora little impromptu trip?

You, and Hector, and a wholelotta loot from our charity?

I take that as a yes.

How could you?

Those people believed in us,in Christmas.

I was amazed at all theoutpouring of love and kindness Those people believed in us,and good will.

But then that's what Christmasis all about--love and kindness Those people believed in us,opening up your heart, to show people justt Christmashow much you love them.

kindness I couldn't have said itbetter myself.

Yes, lovely.

Now, could you let me go?

Gladly.

Yes,[scoffs]

Now, she is definitely. . .

[together]

Naughty.

Thank you.

What took you so long?

I had to meet the parents.

Don't ask.

Besides, you didn't think I'd let youand those millions of dollars leave without me, did you?

[P. A. dings]

[Man]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is our captain.

We'll be experiencing a rather unusual delay due to what appears to be the first snowstorm in Miami history.

We're not sure when it'll blow over, so just sit tight.

And we're back.

Nicky.

Welcome back, sir.

I found him at the airport.

Would you believehe took commercial?

Oh, Nicholas, oh, Would you believehe tmy poor pudding.

Dad, I'd like you to meeta couple of friends of mine.

Would you believeThis is Danny and. .

this is Lorena.

It's so nice to meet you,sir.

Nice to meet you.

Very nice.

Well. . .

Well, what?

You said it would be a cold dayin Miami when you talked to me.

Start talking.

All right.

You want me to take overChristmas, you've got to let me take over.

I'm just afraid that you don'treally want to retire.

You're right.

I am?

I don't want to retire because when I'm notSanta anymore, who will I be?

Dad. . .

you'll always be Santa. . .

the Santa of the century.

Last century.

Dad, you did an amazing job.

You don't have to be scaredto retire.

Thank you.

And you don't have to bescared to take over.

Scared, me?

What are you talking about?

Nick, admit it.

You're a little scared.

Well, who wouldn't be?

Being Santa Claus--it's a huge responsibility.

I don't wanna screw upChristmas.

You don't want to letthe kids down.

I don't want to let you down.

Me?

What do Ihave to do with it?

Everything.

What if I don't live upto your expectations?

It's not what I wantthat matters.

You have to be the Santa Clausthat you want to be.

And I trust you'll bea good one.

rs.

Oh, Dad.

Thanks, Dad.

I will, I promise.

With some help.

Lorena, people can wait their wholelives hoping to findthat one person who truly is their other half,their soul mate.

For me, you're that person.

Each day I look forwardto seeing your face and hearing your voice and when I walk into a room,I hope you're there.

face Lorena. . .

will you marry meand be my queen?

Yes, of course.

I would love to.

[Nicholas Sr. ]

Oh, I almost forgot.

Drop the weapon!

It's a torch Drop it, St.

Nicholas!

Never.

[people gasp]

[Woman]

Did he just. . .

[Man]

This is getting weird.

"Do not open for to . " Well, well, well.

[chuckles]

[sirens chirping]

You know, maybe we better getout of here.

Danny, how'd you like a jobover the Christmas vacation?

You know, maybe we better getout oSanta's helper?

That'd be awesome.

I'm ready now, Dad.

[bang on door]

All right, all right.

Take it easy everybody.

It's time to do this.

So, by the power vested in me, and so on and so forth, and I see you've already passedthe torch,e power vested in me, so yadda, yadda, yadda,you're Santa Claus.

[cheering]

Jasper, will you keep an eyeon this until I get back?

I should be delighted,Your Majesty.

JasSo when are we goingn eyeon to schedule that wedding?

I should be delighted,Soon as we get back, right?

JasSo when are we goingn eyeon to sSounds perfect.

dding?

I should be delighted,Soon as we get baWe?

right?

Yeah, you and Dannyare coming with me.

Tonight?

Really?

Christmas is a family holiday.

You two are my family.

We better get a move on we'vegot a lot of work to dotonight.

Son, you'll need this.

We better get a move on we'vegot a lot of work to doThanks, Dad.

Nice beard, by the way.

Oh, yeah,how about that?

Merry Christmas, Dad.

Merry Christmas. . .

son.

Ah, Santa?

Yes?

Better get going.

He's right.

Danny.

Okay, Danny.

Hop on up there.

This is so cool.

Lorena.

Mmm, I'm not so sureabout the beard.

Oh, don't worry.

Mmm, I'm not so sureaboutI just did this for my Dad.

And Christmas.

Mmm, I'm not so sureaboutI just didYou ready, Danny?

Ready.

Mmm, I'm not so sureaboutI just didReady Mrs. Claus?

I'm ready,Mr. Nick St. Nicholas.

Mmm, I'm not sOh, what the heck?

aboutI just diCall me Santa.

aus?

I'm ready,On Dasher, on Dancer,Mr. Nick Son Prancer, and Vixen.

On Comet, Cupid,on Donner, and Blitzen.

I'm ready,On Dasher, on Dancer,Mr. Nick Son PrancerHyah!

Vixen.

Good-bye.

Merry Christmas to all. . .

and to all, a good night.