- [Michael Voiceover] My
name is Michael Karountzos.
From as far back
as I can remember,
there was one thing
I really wanted to be
when I grew up.
A great father.
I wanted to be the dad that
never missed his kids' games,
always tucked his
kids in at night.
And above all else,
provided his children
with everything that
they would need to get by
in this world.
In my third year of
college, I had to drop out
to support my dad's
restaurant business.
I bounced around to a few jobs,
and that's when I met Tiffany.
At a wedding no less.
Before long we had a few kids,
and I settled into my job
at ICG as a systems analyst.
As time went by, my dream
of being a great father
seemed to slip further
and further away.
To my regret, I had to
spend more time at work
and less time with my family.
But after 18 years, I finally
got the break I needed.
I had applied for a position of
Regional Vice President of ICG.
Our family would finally
be able to breathe,
and most importantly, I
was gonna be able to put
my first son through college.
My friend, Disco
Dave, told me that
he'd seen the paperwork so,
all that was left was for me
to get that call
and act surprised.
But that's where God intervened.
You see, in these hard times,
we cut back on so many things.
Food, gas, clothes.
And unfortunately one of
the other things was God.
And on this Christmas Eve,
God came looking for me.
Except, I had no
idea it was him,
because it all began
with one simple thing.
Tiffany, have you
seen my cellphone?
- [Tiffany] Did you
check your coat?
- Yeah, and that's,
I can't find it.
- Yeah, well, you
sit right there.
[laughs]
I have two gifts for you.
- Shouldn't there be a
box, or some gift wrapping?
Something, no?
- No.
You ready for the first one?
- Oh honey, you know what?
I just realized, I
left my cellphone
on my desk at the office.
I gotta go back and get it.
- Oh, no, no, no.
No work today, no.
Your relatives are gonna be
here in a couple of hours.
- Honey, you know what?
The promotion's coming
in and that cellphone,
I gotta get it.
I will be back in one
hour, I promise you.
Hey, Jeff.
- Oh, dad.
Can you help me
with my homework?
- Not now, I gotta
get to the office.
- On Christmas Eve?
- Yeah, I left my
cellphone there,
and the promotion call is
coming through on that.
- Well, I just need help
writing a few paragraphs
on what it means to be Greek.
- Oh, Jeff.
No, no, I'll help you with it
when I get home, I promise.
I gotta get to the office.
[sighs]
- That's what you always say.
- Hey dad, what you doing?
- Just finished installing
the surveillance cameras.
Anything moves around
the house, Papou sees it.
- Dad, this isn't about
those religious groups
that keep coming
to the door, is it?
- I told them, this is
Greek Orthodox house.
Stay away from here or you
have big troubles, mister.
- [laughs] Lance,
keep an eye on him.
- Oh, you're still here, good.
Can you drop this prosphora
over at the church
on your way home?
- Oh Honey, no, no,
no, I don't have time.
- [Tiffany] No, no, no.
Father Tom said he
really needs that.
- Okay, I got time.
- Just give me one
sentence, please.
- Oh, your cousin Telly called.
He said that he can make it.
- Telly?
Why did you invite Telly?
- You said to invite
all of your relatives.
- You have a cousin named Telly?
- I got a cousin named Telly.
He's a tow truck driver.
[singing in foreign language]
- Who needs a tow today?
- Why haven't we met him?
- [Michael And Papou]
Lulu's loukoumades.
- Lulu's loukoumades
happened 15 years ago,
it's time to bury the hatchet.
- Does he still have
that fake Greek accent?
- Michael.
- No, no, seriously.
The guy has lived in
America for 40 years,
and still has a
thick Greek accent.
All right, guys.
The phone call's
coming at three.
Love all of you.
- [Tiffany] Love you too.
- I'll be back, bye.
Oh hey, Koslowski.
We're having some of my
relatives over tonight
for a Christmas party.
Just in case it
gets a little loud.
- Do me a favor, make sure
no one parks on my lawn
like last time.
[sighs]
- Yeah, sorry about that.
That was my yia yia.
My grandmother.
She never got her
driver's license.
- Great, the crazies are
having a party tonight.
Now we gotta listen
to that freaky music
they play all night.
What is it with these
people and their music?
- I like it.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- [Aspasia's Voicemail]
Hi, you've reached
Aspasia Karountzos,
sorry I missed you.
State your name, phone number,
and something that
will make me smile.
- Hi mom, it's me.
I just wanna let you know
I'm getting a huge
promotion today.
I mean, well, it's between
me and another guy,
but Disco Dave told me that
I got the promotion, so.
I just wanted you
to know, I made it.
And I knew that
would make you smile.
I love you, mom.
[clock ticking]
- Hey Michael, is
your cellphone dead?
I've been calling
you all morning.
- I'm here.
I'm good, I'm good, I made it.
- They're calling
you in three minutes.
- Hey dad, check
out this snowflake.
- [Michael] Lance, I.
- It keeps moving,
isn't that weird?
- Yeah, guys.
I'm.
- Who's there with you?
- [Michael] Lance, I'm waiting
for a phone call, okay?
- [Papou] Hello,
hello, is this on?
- [Michael] Dad,
yes, it's on, guys.
- Am I hearing another--
- Hello, can you hear me?
- I can hear you fine.
Lance, I told you,
don't let Papou
get anywhere near that Skype.
- [Papou] Oh, there you are.
I'm finished with my room.
However, I have a spot here
where you have measured
the children and
their hand prints.
Should I paint over it?
- [Michael] Yeah
dad, a broker said
that we're gonna be moving,
so the cleaner the house is
the better the resell value.
So I guess just paint over it.
- Am I hearing another voice,
is someone there with you?
- No guys, I'm
sorry, I gotta go.
- Okay, good luck
with your promotion.
- Congrats mister VP.
- Bye dad.
[cellphone ringing]
- Oh, for God's sake.
Honey, what?
No, no, I got the prosphora,
but it's in the car.
Yeah, sweetie, the call's
coming in on this line.
No, no, no.
I love you, I love you so.
I'm gonna kiss your
picture after this.
I love you, but I
gotta free this line.
Bye, bye, bye.
I love you, bye.
[laughs]
[clock ticking]
[gentle piano music]
[tense orchestral music]
- [Father Tom] Finally,
the Lord peered over the
cusp of heaven and said,
I will send My son, and
his love will rest gently
on all mankind, and through Him,
I will be reconciled with man.
On this Christmas Eve,
this is the message I
wanna leave you with.
God sent his son,
Jesus Christ, for you.
- Oh, hey father.
It's Michael Karountzos.
- Oh, hi [laughs] Michael,
you caught me testing
out my sermon for
tonight. [laughs]
[cellphone ringing]
Hold on.
I'll be right back.
- I really could
have used your help
about 20 minutes ago.
What do you want me to
tell my wife and kids?
You wanna know why I don't
come around that much anymore?
- Hey, I just got the
group email from Tiffany
about being at your
house tonight for
some big announcement.
- Oh.
- I'll try and make it.
- Okay.
- So how are you doing?
- Oh, fine.
A little tired, I guess.
- Oh, this is the
prosphora, Tiffany made it.
- Oh, we just taught
them how to make this
in our Orthodoxy classes.
- How's she doing
in those classes?
- Well, it's been a year.
She's been a great student.
- Well, anyway, that's what
you wanted me to bring by.
I hope we get to
see you tonight.
[tense orchestral music]
- [Tiffany] Maybe it's
for the best, Michael.
- For the best?
- Look at our lives.
We hardly see you anymore.
You're working all the time.
Don't you think that has
an effect on the kids?
And what about you and me?
What do we get, 10 minutes at
the end of the day to connect?
How long before that
starts to affect us?
- How am I gonna explain
this to my dad and the kids?
There's no way we're gonna
be able to pay for college
for them now.
I just wish just one time
that God would have
given us a break.
It seems like every time we
really need Him, He hides.
- He hides?
Michael, it's Christmas Eve,
and we're not even
going to church.
When was the last time we
went to church together
as a family?
I can't remember the last
time we prayed together.
And you say He hides?
Come on, we'll talk
about it after the party.
- What are we supposed
to say when everyone asks
what the big announcement was?
I mean, that was
the whole purpose
of inviting everyone over,
is to announce my promotion.
- Look, I told everybody
to be here at five o'clock
and it's 6:30.
I doubt any of them
are gonna show up.
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, great.
Greek time.
- Merry Christmas!
- Oh, Ang, you made it.
- Yeah!
- Oh, merry Christmas, man.
- I brought my girlfriend.
Her name's Alithea,
you're gonna love her.
Alithea!
Hurry up [speaking
foreign language]
Michael, I think she's the one.
- Really?
Hey, do me a favor.
- Sure.
- Don't do anything to
upset Papou this Christmas.
- Who, me?
- Yeah, you know like last year,
you put Tabasco sauce
in his Avgolemono soup,
and he went crazy.
- I promise I'll be a pussycat.
- Hey.
- [Michael] Alithea?
- It's Althea.
Angelo calls me Alithea.
He tells everyone I'm Greek.
- She can count to 10 in Greek.
- I can.
[laughs]
- Well, great.
Glad you're here, come on in.
- Ooh, it smells good in here.
- I'm telling you,
she's the one.
She gets me.
- [Michael] Really?
- She feels me.
She's a therapist.
- [Michael] Wow.
- Wait 'til you see what I
got in store for us tonight.
- Really?
- Hi Papou.
- Oh, that is so cute,
they call you Popou?
- Papou.
- You both have a
lot to talk about.
She voted for Obama twice.
- Who did you vote for?
- Reagan, twice.
- He watches Fox news all day.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[doorbell rings]
[knocking]
[laughing]
- Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Tiffany, look at you, so pretty.
15 years I haven't seen you,
you haven't changed a day.
[speaking foreign language]
- Hello Telly.
And I see you came
all dressed up.
- I just come from the shop.
We running our
special down there.
If you get your car
towed during Christmas,
you get to drive my truck.
Right on Santa's lap, for free.
Couple of bumps,
on the way home,
whoop, whoop.
Everyone's happy.
You know what I mean.
- Sure, yeah, come on in.
- One second.
You know there's a
group I run with.
They call themself my
[speaking foreign language].
They're a little crazy,
they drink too much,
they swear too much,
they play cards at night,
but I love them.
Well, I just saw them.
They don't have a place to go.
So I said to them,
"What the heck?"
Why don't I invite you
too, so I invited them.
I hope you don't mind.
- Of course, of course.
Are they here?
- Oh, they're here, Honey.
- Well, where are they?
[speaking foreign language]
- Oh.
- Here's one.
This is Yia Yia Haralambidig.
This is Yia Yia Karetas.
[speaking foreign language]
And this is Yia Yia Koumaras.
The three amigos.
We're like a Greek
Hallmark card, aren't we?
- I see.
[speaking foreign language]
- Hello.
- Hello, hi.
- That's where I get the
hello, hello, hello from.
All right.
Look what they brought
you, some Greek food.
We know you don't like
to cook the Greek food,
so they brought their own food.
You're going to love it.
All right, [speaking
foreign language].
- So thoughtful, please come in.
- There you go, there they go.
The women in black, watch
out, here they come.
You look so good, oh.
Have you had a little work done?
You tell me later, you
tell me about it later.
Hello, hello, hello.
The party has begun.
- And you wonder why
haven't talked to that guy
in 15 years?
That guy is a wacko.
[doorbell rings]
- Oh no, not this again.
Lance!
Bring my black robe that
I chant in the church,
and some holy water.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- Hi guys, it's Christmas.
Let's call it the truth.
- Huh?
- I believe in Jesus,
you believe in Jesus.
Let's break bread
together tonight, come in.
- We're really not supposed to,
we got a lot of houses.
- Listen, come in
out of the cold,
and I will give
you shot of Ouzo,
it will warm you up.
And there's no caffeine in it.
Come in.
- Come on man, it's Christmas.
- [Papou] Tiffany
[speaking foreign language]
This is Joe and Todd.
[speaking foreign language]
- Hey, did you find some more?
- Camp out chairs.
[doorbell rings]
- Boy, you guys, you just
don't give up, do you?
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- [Father Tom] Hi.
- I'm not interested.
[knocking]
[speaking foreign language]
- Oh Father, are you Greek?
- [Father Tom] I'm a convert.
[uplifting Greek music]
[phones buzzing]
- Bring me one of those boxes.
Everybody, before
we say the prayer,
I want everybody to put
their cellphone in here.
This is family time.
Hey, Yia Yia.
[speaking foreign language]
- Okay.
[speaking foreign language]
- Ooh, we got a gangster
Yia Yia over there.
[speaking foreign language]
[laughs]
- Father Tom, would you give us
the [speaking foreign
language] please, the pray.
- Oh, you go ahead Papou.
[praying in foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- Ooh, I don't know the
language, but I can feel it.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- Hold hands everyone, come on.
One time around the block.
[yelling in foreign language]
[speaking in foreign language]
- Ooh, popou, you fired up now.
- Let's pray.
- [Althea] Go on, Popou.
- Lord, we thank you from
the bottom of our hearts
for the food, and from
the drink that we are now
to partake of.
- Oh.
- And we glorify Your name,
forever and ever, amen.
[Althea humming]
- Oh Lord, you heard
those beautiful
words coming from Popou.
[speaking foreign langauge]
- [Althea] How blessed
we are to be here today.
[speaking foreign language]
Thank you Jesus, hallelujah.
Can I get a amen?
- Amen?
- I said can I get a amen?
[speaking foreign language]
Can I get another amen?
- Amen.
- Thank you my Greek sister.
- Amen!
- I said can I get a amen?
- [All] Amen.
- I got an amen
over here for you.
- Thank you my Greek
brothers and sisters.
I believe that lives will
be changed here tonight.
[speaking foreign language]
And I thank you lord
for gathering us all
in this Greek family that
I'm gonna be a part of,
thank you Jesus.
Can y'all feel it?
- Yeah, oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
[speaking foreign language]
- Oh , I feel it.
Let me tell you something.
I feel it.
- I think we need a show
our hands tonight, oh.
- Up.
- Can I see the hands?
- They're up.
- Do I have witnesses
at this table?
- [Angelo] Yes you do!
- Get 'em up, get 'em up!
- [All] Oh!
- Up, I love Jesus!
- Lord, we thank
You, we praise You.
And we give honor and glory
to Your divine name Jesus.
Yeah.
[cheering]
[sighs]
- I tell you, I'm
tired right now.
That felt like a
Jane Fonda workout.
- You better eat now, y'all.
- Happy Kwanzaa, Papou.
[uplifting Greek music]
[uplifting Greek music]
- Hey dad.
Why are the yia
yias wearing black?
It's Christmas.
- Yia Yia, [speaking
foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[cries]
[cries]
[laughs]
- Meryl Streep this one, huh?
[laughs]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[cries]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[laughs]
I told you, they're
not gonna fool me.
I know these tricks.
I know the tricks.
Come on, you three, stop
with this stuff, come on.
You just want a little of
that scene, I know you.
[speaking foreign language]
[cries]
- So boys, let me
ask you the question.
Any of you boys play
the sports at school?
- I do competitive diving.
[laughs]
- Let me tell you something.
The greatest diver of
all time was a Greek
by the name of Gregory Louganis.
You know him as Greg Louganis.
- Greg Louganis isn't Greek.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
I don't think I heard you.
He's not Greek?
You need to check
your history books.
[laughs]
He learned to dive off
the cliffs of Santorini.
- Well, that's beautiful.
- Way up there, you know,
with the donkey and
all this, right?
- Yes.
- Up the cliffs he went,
with his [speaking foreign
language] by his side.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[babbles]
Into the water.
By the time he got
to the Olympic pool,
you know he looked at
that pool, he said,
this little pool?
This is all I have to do?
Dive off that board
to win the gold medal?
Bam, five times he went in
there, won the gold medal.
[laughs]
He's a Greek, Michael,
let me tell you.
Check the history books.
- Telly, you're mister Greek.
- I agree.
- Mister Greek?
That guy makes
half the stuff up.
- It's Christmas,
don't start a fight.
Okay, just one thing, one thing.
Greg Louganis is Samoan.
He learned to dive in
El Cajon, Calofornia.
And I said it with
a smile on my face.
- So Michael, let me
ask you a question.
What's the big announcement
that you wanted to make.
- [Angelo] Oh yeah.
Yeah.
- Yeah, that.
- Michael, stand up
so we can all see you.
- Well, the reason that
we invited you over today
was that.
- You know what Michael?
Why don't you just
let me tell them.
I've decided to convert.
- Oh, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
The angels smile
when they hear that.
- That was your first gift.
- Is that what you wanted
to tell me this morning?
I don't need that second gift,
that was more than enough.
- Hey boys, are you
excited for your mother?
- Yeah, we're gonna join too.
- Oh, you're not Greek Orthodox.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Father, they're going to
need new baptismo names.
- Yeah, you can pick.
- Telly, maybe you
can help us choose
some new names.
- Thank you so much,
I appreciate that.
What's your name?
- Jeff.
- Jiff.
- Jeffrey.
- Jiffy, like the peanut butter?
- No, Jeffrey.
- Jeffrey, okay.
Well, let's go over this one.
What's your name?
- Lance.
- Lance, oh Lancelot,
I like that.
[laughs]
Oh, sassy, I like you.
What do we have here?
Jiff, Lance, and Tiffany.
Are you sure we're
in a Greek house?
I don't know.
- Probably not.
- For you not, I know.
You don't like
those names, do you?
[laughs]
All right, listen.
Jiff, we're gonna
start with you.
You know how you
go to the tailor,
and he puts the suit on
you and you try it on,
and you say, "This is a little
tight, this fits me good,
this makes my [speaking
foreign language]
look a little big."
I'm gonna give you a
name, you try it on.
You like it, you keep it.
You don't like it, you
don't keep it, okay?
All right, now look at you.
You're a young
man, where you are?
High school?
- Junior.
- Juniors, yeah.
It wasn't that long
ago that I was there,
I know exactly what
you're going through.
You walk down the hallway
with the backpack on
and the cheeky,
cheeky, cheeky man.
Now, we have to give you a name.
A name that when the girls
hear it, they look at you,
and think, "Is he the Greek?"
"I don't know."
"Is he the Italian?"
"I don't know."
"Is he the Chinese?"
"I don't know."
Suddenly with this new name,
you're a man of mystery.
You're a man of intrigue.
Everyone wants to
know, who is this man?
- So what is this
name of intrigue
that will make everyone
wonder what culture he's from?
- Zorba.
- [Michael] Zorba?
[laughs]
- Zorba.
- Zorba, ugh, my love.
I love the way that name sounds.
Zorba, you see I said that name,
the whole table is
like, "Oh, oh, oh, oh."
Let me hear you say Zorba.
- Zorba.
[cheering]
- Zorba, what do you
have to say, Zorba.
- What about my brother?
- [Angelo] Yeah, what about him?
- Garalenbose.
[cheering]
- You like that one.
- Hey, hey, what about our mom?
- Exanthula.
[laughs]
- I like that.
- I like it, I like
it, like it, like it.
[laughs]
[cheering]
Let's do a little review
at the table here.
Exanthula, Garalenbose, Zorba.
[speaking foreign language]
- I thought my people
had some strange names.
- So now we are having a
Greek Orthodox Christmas,
or as we like to say here,
Christmas with the Karountzoses.
[applause and cheering]
- I wanna propose a toast.
I was thinking about what
to bring for Christmas.
And the one thing I thought
that everyone could enjoy,
is therapy.
I mean there's so much
baggage in this family,
and we gotta figure out a way
to untangle this whole mess.
My Althea just became
a registered therapist,
and she started
her own practice.
And I thought maybe
she could give us all
a little therapy.
- Angelo, it's a
nice thought, but I.
It's just.
- I think it is a great idea.
- Maybe tonight after dinner.
- Tonight?
- Why not?
- Am I the only one that thinks
that's a little [whistles].
- She'll be in the library,
and she can meet with each
one of us for 15 minutes.
And at the end of the night,
she can tell us how we can
straighten this whole mess out.
- I always wanted
to go to therapy.
[toasting in foreign language]
- Therapy?
Exanthula?
I'm sitting there
trying to figure out
how I'm gonna tell
our kids and my dad
I didn't get the promotion.
And suddenly I'm in a
Looney Tunes Christmas.
We're gonna go to
therapy on Christmas Eve.
This is Christmas
with the Karountzoses?
- Yeah.
And I think it's a great idea.
This is gonna be fun.
- Fun?
- Uh-huh, yeah.
And you want you to
see the therapist too.
- Not gonna happen.
[sighs]
- You owe me,
and I'm gonna finish
dinner, and then I'm off
to my therapy appointment.
[sighs]
[uplifting Greek music]
- I am ready for my session.
- All right, let's get
this party started.
- Let's go.
Excuse us, Papou.
So long have you and
Angelo been dating?
- It's been about a year.
- Really?
You're gonna get married?
- He better put a ring on it.
[laughs]
- How long you and
Michael been married?
- 18 years.
- Are you guys still solid?
- Michael and I are made
for each other, you know.
But, when you first get married,
you have this mountain
of love for each other.
But as the years go by,
life just chips away at it.
Life problems, money
problems, health problems.
It's not easy to keep
that mountain of love.
Like tonight, you know.
It's Christmas Eve, should
be a happy night, right?
But Michael got some
bad news at work, so.
I know that when everybody
leaves we're gonna go upstairs
and we're gonna talk about it,
and we're gonna go
over our finances.
- See, that's the problem.
- What's the problem?
- Why are you gonna let world
chip at you and Michael tonight?
- Well, how do you avoid it?
- You and Michael
should come first.
- Well, who can do that?
You know.
- I tell you, Mr and
Mrs Clause, that's who.
On Christmas Eve, Mrs
Clause gets Santa ready,
she fattens him up, she
get that sleigh good to go,
and the Santa
gonna do his thing.
Now when Santa come
back through that door,
you think Mrs Clause talking
about some naughty or nice list
for next year?
Or some elves that then
acted up while he was gone?
She makes sure them elves
is fast sleeping, they'd be.
And them fairies then flew
back to Never Never Land.
She probably got some Marvin,
some Luther, or some Teddy
playing in the background.
And when her man comes
through that door.
[clears throat]
It's on.
You know what I'm saying?
- Well yeah, I do but [laughs].
- Hey Michael, I have to
step out for a few minutes.
- Where are you going?
- I have to go get
Alithea's Christmas present.
- Now?
- Yeah, I timed it while
she's doing her therapy
so I can go get it.
- Oh, well hurry back.
- Okay.
- What was the last thing
you said to Michael,
before you came downstairs?
- I think I asked
him how I looked.
I couldn't get my hair
quite right, and my dress,
I wore it last year.
I didn't know if anyone
would notice or even care.
- There you go again.
Chip, chip, chip.
- What do you mean?
- Own it girl, just own it.
My clothes are older than me.
But when Angelo
picked me up tonight,
I looked in the mirror.
I took a long look at myself.
And I said, "Ooh, I
look fierce tonight."
- See, I wish I could
be more like you.
I mean, the confidence.
You know, your nails, your hair,
the way you carry yourself.
- You like my hair?
- I love your hair.
- Girl please, this
is a number wig.
[scream laughing]
It's what's in here
that makes it count.
Girl, I can fix
you up in no time.
- You can?
- I sure can.
What you gonna say to your man?
- It's on.
- Okay, okay.
That's a start.
We're gonna have to get
you some more swag, doll.
- You know, I went to the
seminary for two years.
You know what they called
me when I was there?
The George Clooney of
the seminary school.
- [Background Audience]
Oh, beat that.
- [Michael] So why did you quit?
- Well, one day, I
was in confession
with my spiritual father.
He looked at me.
He said, "Telly, you know what?"
I think God gave you
a talent to tow cars.
- [Background Audience] Yeah!
- It was like the voice of God
had spoken to us.
Off I went, like a rocket.
[laughs]
But before that rocket took
off, let me tell you something.
That rocket learned
a few things.
One of them was, you can
tell just about everything
about a person by the
way they do their cross.
[background chatter]
- All right, here,
what about me.
- Okay, I don't see nothing.
I don't see.
Look, look, look, Telly.
Throw the key away,
I don't see nothing.
[laughs]
- [Althea] Give it to him.
- [Tiffany] Give it, like this?
- [Althea] Hmm-mm,
work it, work it.
- [Tiffany] Yeah.
- Girl, you look good.
- I feel good.
- What you gonna
say to your man?
Come on, give it to
me, give it to me.
- Yo Mike, I'm your
girl, you my man.
18 years, we going strong,
you know what I'm saying?
When the relatives go home,
and the kids go to bed,
you know what time
it's gonna be?
- Girl what time gonna be?
- It's gonna be time for
[speaking foreign language]
booty call.
- Oh, I heard that girl.
Give it to me.
- That's what I'm saying.
I'm just trying
it real, you know.
- Girl.
Now, when you look
in that mirror, girl,
what you see?
- Oh, I see 115 pounds
of silly dynamite.
- Oh, [yelling].
- Yes.
- What you gonna do
with that dynamite girl?
- Oh, you know
what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna go, ba-bam!
- Oh, ba-bam!
- Ba-bam!
- [Althea] Put some booty
in it, put some booty in it.
- But some booty in it?
- Put some booty on.
- I aint got a whole lot
of booty, but you know,
I'll put what I got in it.
How exciting.
[laughs]
[speaking foreign language]
- God bless America.
- Remember, next time
you get Michael alone,
you tell him, it's on, okay?
- Okay.
- I should get back out there.
I wanna everybody's tried
some of my sauerkraut.
- [Althea] Yes.
- Telly, why don't
you just show us
how to do your cross?
- I would be glad to.
I'm gonna ask the three amigos
for a little help.
Let's show them, ladies.
Come over here.
Let me get ready
[singing in foreign language]
- Just do your cross, Telly.
- Excuse me, don't rush genius.
I'm working under the
[speaking foreign language]
system here.
Boy, you're something else.
Palm to the ground we go.
This is the most humble
way to do your cross.
[speaking foreign language]
How many times do we do it?
[speaking foreign language]
This is the most humble
way to do your cross.
You see that?
She threw in a little
[clicks tongue] there.
I like that.
From now on, I'm
gonna add that too.
Learn how to do your cross.
- You're telling me, every
time you go to church,
that's how you do your cross?
- Well, if you would
ever come to church,
you would know?
- Okay, you know what?
The next time I
see you in church,
I'm watching to see
if you do it that way.
- And P.S. by the way,
set your clock, too.
You know, I'm so
tired of that one.
Oh Father, I'm so
sorry we're late,
supper.
You know who I'm talking about.
They show up late for a church,
they march down the
isle to the front pews,
like they have a
reservation or something.
Because they're the
first ones to get the
[speaking foreign language].
They go next door to
the coffee social,
and they grab 24 [speaking
foreign language]
and don't put a
dollar in the basket.
My God, man, what are you doing?
Feeding your family on the
[speaking foreign language]
[laughs]
I tell it like it is, don't I?
Yes.
- Well, I hope everyone
saved some room.
I made my specialty, sauerkraut.
Who's first?
Don't be shy.
[speaking foreign language]
- Tell her that
if she eats this,
it'll bring her good
luck for the new year.
[speaking foreign language]
- What she said was,
she ate so much food,
that if she eats one more
thing, she's gonna throw up.
So you probably go to her.
- Oh, how about you?
- Thank you, no.
[Speaking foreign language]
- You?
- Oh, she's on a low
carb diet, she says.
So don't worry about her either.
With her figure, this one.
- I know someone who
definitely wants some of this.
[speaking foreign language]
- Dad, I don't think
I've ever heard
that Christmas carol before.
- Hey,
hey, remember what we've
said about that house?
- They're a bunch of nut jobs.
- And?
- We stay away from nut jobs.
- Exactly.
Oh, will you turn it down?
What do you think this is?
Historia?
- What's Historia?
- The Greek Mecca.
- [Michael Voiceover] Lance,
you're now four
feet, seven inches.
You grew one inch
since second grade.
Do you think you're gonna
be as tall as me one day?
- [Papou] Everything okay?
- Oh, hey dad.
I'm just, I was just checking
out all the work you did.
- Did I do something wrong?
- No, no, no, Dad.
You did exactly what I told
you to do, don't worry.
You know, I just wanted to
see it all one more time.
- Hey, let's go to show you
what I got Lance for Christmas.
What do you think?
[sighs]
- Dad, we're gonna have
to put a hole in Michigan.
- Why?
- I didn't get that
promotion today?
- What does this mean?
- It means we can't
afford Michigan.
- I'll help.
- To go to Michigan, it
costs $50,000 a year.
- Isn't there some way
you can get assistance,
or a loan?
- We can't get any
financial assistance,
because I make too much money.
We've already got
a loan or our home.
I've got a equity line loan,
we can't get another loan.
- God will provide.
- I just wanted to be
a great dad, that's it.
- Every dad wants to
be a great father.
And then you look
back and you realize
there are things you
could have done better.
That's okay.
I made big mistakes in my life.
I should have never ask
you to quit college.
For what?
To work at the restaurant.
This mistake because we always
put work above everything.
Now I see you every Sunday,
and you go off to work.
And you don't go to church.
That was my fault, I
set the bad example.
I should never have been
going to the restaurant,
every single Sunday, why?
Just to squeeze out
an extra dollar.
Money is money, Michael.
But without God,
there is an emptiness.
The promotion?
There will be many of those.
Keep God close,
and He will get you
through every storm.
- Thank you.
- Ah, I forget.
I have Christmas
present for you, too.
- Oh.
You gotta be kidding.
That's awesome, dad.
Thank you.
- Merry Christmas, Michael.
- Merry Christmas.
- Come on Father Tom,
everybody gets a turn.
- She tell me I was perfect.
- This is really good.
- Hey, it looks like
he's doing drugs.
- Mm?
- Your nose, dude.
- You boys don't do
the drugs, do you?
That's good.
Telly never did the drugs.
- Yia Yia, tell them why
I didn't do the drugs.
- I tell him if you do the
drugs, I will k*ll myself.
You come home after school
after doing all that junk,
you'll see Yia Yia hanging
from the chandelier, dead.
- [Telly] Yia Yia,
[speaking foreign language].
[background laughter]
[speaking foreign language]
[laughs]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
Mister Drug Dealer.
[laughs]
- So Father Tom, what made
you choose to be a priest?
- Well, you don't choose to
be a priest, it chooses you.
- Do you still like
being a priest?
- I love being a priest.
It's all the other
stuff that's k*lling me.
- What do you mean?
- Well, when I went to seminary,
being a priest meant
officiating the sacraments,
coming up with a great
sermon on Sunday,
having wonderful Bible studies.
Leading your parish, no matter
how big or small, to God.
If you look at our
robes at the bottom,
there are these small tassels.
Those tassels represent the
souls of our parishioners.
I'm responsible for those souls.
That's what being a
priest means to me,
it's what I live for.
But what has happened is,
you can't just be
a priest anymore.
Nowadays, you're
the head fundraiser.
You're the one who has to
break up all the fights
that go in basketball games.
You're the janitor, you're in
charge of the Greek festival,
you have to run the
parish council meetings,
which you dread,
because you know
everybody is just gonna
tell you everything
you're doing wrong.
And you sit back and
you scratch your head,
and you think, is this
what I became a priest for?
You don't know what
it would mean to me
to have just one person
come up to me and say,
"Thank you, you made a real
difference in my life."
- Zorba, I'll let you in on
a little history lesson here.
You know who invented
the game of football?
A man by the name
of Georgios Halas.
Now, you know him
as George Halas.
He was the godfather of
football, and he was a Greek,
and proud of it.
- Okay, hold on a second.
We have to have a little
touch of reality here.
George Halas was not Greek.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
Georgios Halas is not the Greek?
What do you think this is?
A French name?
- No, no, no, no.
First of all, his
name wasn't Georgios.
It was George.
And he's not Greek.
Half the people you say are
Greek, they're not Greek.
You make it up, and you
put this fake accent on it.
- Fake accent?
- Yeah, fake accent.
Anybody can do that.
Listen, I can do this.
I know a guy by the
name of Georgios Lucas.
He made this little movie
called, "Star Wars."
He's so famous, he's a
Greek friend of mine.
- Well, I hate to
break this to you.
I was at the original
screening of Star Wars.
- [sighs] Dear Lord.
- I saw Georgios Lucas,
I looked at him like
this, and I said
[speaking foreign language].
He turned to me and
nodded, and smiled.
- [laughs] No, no, trust me.
He was calling security.
- And I can tell you
just from that look,
he learned Greek at the
knee of his yia yia.
- Okay, you know what?
We're gonna make a little bet.
I'm gonna bet you that
I know more people
who are actually
Greek, than you do.
First one up to five wins.
But after that, everyone has
to acknowledge that person,
that person, as Mister Greek.
- No problem.
This will be over
in two minutes.
Don't take a potty break.
Two minutes, it's over.
- Okay, you say someone's name.
And the other
person has to guess
whether they're Greek or not.
- Spoiler alert, he loses.
- So, are you leaving?
- Well, I've put in my request.
Nobody knows.
I'm waiting to hear
back from the bishop.
- Is it just your
parish that's like this,
or is it all the parishes?
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
Yes, George Stanley Halas,
nicknamed Papa Bear,
was born into a
family of, check,
Bohemian immigrants.
He's not Greek.
Timber.
[laughs]
One zero, my man.
- Who's computer is this, I
don't trust this computer.
I don't know what's in that
computer, this internet.
I don't know what's
going on there.
- I Googled it.
- I don't trust
the Google either.
Okay, let's count another one.
- Okay, are we counting Genos?
- Genos count?
- What's a Geno?
- The geno is the someone
who's the Greek name only.
You know, they have
the Greek name,
they're really not a Greek.
- How do you tell if
someone's Greek or not?
- You know, if you're
really a Greek,
there's certain things
you would have done.
- Like what?
- Like if you're really a Greek,
you probably would have
volunteered at a Greek festival.
- What if you, if you've
had your hair set on fire
during Holy Week by a candle,
you're probably a Greek.
[laughs]
That happened to me when
I used to wear it long.
- What about that
Greek girl on Fox?
From The Five, that
Papou has a crush on.
♪ Hallelujah
- Andrea Tantaros?
- ♪ Hallelujah
- Is she a Geno?
♪ Hallelujah
♪ Hallelujah
♪ Hallelujah
- Trust me [laughs],
she's Greek.
- I don't watch that show.
- You don't watch The Five?
- Are you kidding me?
I turn on the TV,
there's this girl Andrea.
She says, welcome to The Five.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
[speaking foreign language]
I don't think so my friend.
- [Papou] So what did you do?
- I gave her the
five right back,
and turned off the TV.
That's how I do it.
- It is just the
name of the show.
- So what?
Change it to The
One, or The Two.
[speaking foreign
language] The Five?
Five, five, five, come on.
- All right, all
right, Genos count.
We're counting Genos, your turn.
- Watch this one, a little
something from the side.
Kelly Clarkson.
- The singer?
No, there's no way.
She's not Greek.
- Kelly Clarkson was born
in Fort Worth, Texas.
She's the third and youngest
child of Jeanne Anne Tayler,
an first grade teacher
of Greek descent.
- What?
[background chatter]
- What?
What?
What?
Go Telly, go Telly, shift
the deli, shift the deli.
- [Michael] She's Greek.
I can't believe it,
are you kidding me?
- Oh no, we're not kidding.
Google that my friend.
[laughs]
It's Telly time,
it's Telly time.
Gather around children.
You're about to watch
a master teach a class
in Greek-iology.
[speaking foreign language]
Oh, mirror mirror on the wall,
who the Greeky
Greekest of them all?
Telly.
It's you, Telly.
It's you, Telly.
It's you, Telly.
Thank you.
- I don't know.
Maybe it's just me.
Everyone told me
Angelo was a player.
bUT I still fell for him.
- You too good for Angelo.
- How long have
you been dated him?
- About a year.
- One year?
Too long.
[speaking foreign language]
- Okay, I don't
know what you said,
but I'm gonna roll with it
because I like your attitude.
- Thank you.
- Here's mine, you ready?
Everyone ready?
- [Tiffany] Okay.
- Tina Fey.
- Fey?
What?
That's not a Greek name.
I said no, that's
not a Greek name.
- May I, please.
[laughs]
Fey, who's real
name is Stamatina,
was born in Upper
Darby Pennsylvania.
Her mother is Zenobia Xenakes,
[speaking foreign language]
Oh, I think so.
Say hello to my
little Greek friend.
[background chatter]
Three, two.
Or as we like to say in the
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
I can even speak to the Greek.
- Oh, [speaking
foreign language].
Hold on a sec, hold on.
I haven't brought up my
A-list, here it comes.
George Michael.
- The singer?
- The great singer.
100 million albums
sold, show the respect
to a fellow Greek.
- Feedback, feedback.
No, I think you're
hyping it too much.
So I'm gonna say that's a no.
- Really?
Could I have the
computer please?
Pass it down.
Careful, don't wanna
ruin the moment.
George Michael was born
Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
I don't know, is it me,
or does that sound
just a little Greek?
I don't know, I just say.
Hey, here, three
three my friend.
[speaking foreign language]
- So, is there
anything on your mind
you'd like to talk about?
- No, we're good.
- We're having a blast.
- They think we're Greek.
- I don't think so.
- All right, all right.
Four, four, next one wins.
- Greg Louganis.
I told you before,
Greg Louganis,
that's a Greek name.
- No, he is Samoan,
and you can start
calling me Mister Greek.
- Greg Efthimios Louganis.
- Oh, excuse me, did I
hear the word Efthimios?
That sounds a
little Greek to me.
Does that sound Greek to you?
- Hold on, hold on.
He's of Samoan descent.
- Oh, Sam-what?
Sam-what?
You can give me
some more of that.
I told you he was Samoan.
- But, but, but,
his teenage parents
gave him up for adoption
when he was eight years old.
And he was raised in California
by a Greek-American couple.
- [Michael] What
difference does that make?
- Okay so who wins?
- I do.
- I do.
- No, no, that doesn't make.
- I think we have a tie.
- No, no ties.
Ties are for Father's Day gifts,
not for this stuff.
No, no, no, I play to win.
You know, I made that
saying up, play to win.
- Telly.
- I love you, okay it's a tie.
And we'll have a tie breaker,
and I know just how
to break the tie.
So we've divided you
up into two groups.
This is my group, the winners.
There's Michael's group,
the soon to be losers.
I'm off to therapy.
You need some help
with the songs,
I'll help you.
I know so many Greek songs.
I don't wanna brag,
I know them all.
But therapy calls.
- Good evening
ladies and gentlemen,
we're gonna play a
little game tonight.
We're gonna play a Greek song,
and the first one to
guess the answer correctly
will receive a point.
- The first team to five points
will win the game.
[clapping]
- So, this is the hot seat, huh?
- Telly, let me
ask you a question.
Why you don't have no socks on?
- You noticed that, didn't you?
Can I ask you a question?
- [Althea] Yes.
- You thought it was
sexy, didn't you?
- [Althea] You know what, I did.
- You did.
[laughs]
You know, and I spray a
little cologne there too.
Those long socks, you're
there for half the day
taking those damn things off.
And they smell.
This, oh honey, oh honey,
they come off so fast.
And the next thing you know,
what's that sweet fragrance?
Oh, come on over here.
It works, trust me.
By the way, they
had a lot of garlic
in that [speaking
foreign language]
if I get too close,
you let me know.
- I will.
[far off music]
[speaking foreign language]
[Greek music and cheering]
[singing in foreign language]
- Let me tell you something.
It's so hard to sit
here and talk, ugh this.
- Telly, Telly.
We have 15 minutes.
- [Telly] Okay.
- And I wanna help you.
- What was your question?
- Why didn't you talk
to Michael for 15 years?
- [laughs] Well, you could
write two or three books
about this one.
The ups, the downs,
the twists, the turns.
He did this, she did that.
No, excuse me, no I did?
Yes you did.
Your head would spill
with all the commotion.
- Well, we've got 15 minutes.
[far off music]
[speaking foreign language]
[cheering]
[gentle Greek music]
- Ugh, well,
have you even been to
the Greek festival?
- Sure.
- In the Greek festival you
have the souvlaki stand,
the raffle where they
sell the car that,
who or not,
I never know anyone who
won that stupid thing.
But anyway, behind that
is a Lulu's Loukoumades.
That's my mother's
name, of blessed memory.
- Oh.
- For 24 years she cooked
all the Loukoumades.
One year, though, I
show up at the festival.
I don't see the sign
"Lulu's Loukoumades."
Excuse me, I've run
over to the chairman.
Well, guess who
the chairman was?
- Who?
- Mister Fancy Pants,
Mister Michael.
Michael, where's Lulu's
Loukoumades sign?
I don't know where it is,
I don't know where it is.
So he goes over and
he puts up a sign,
and writes, "Loukoumades."
Excuse me, excuse me?
Loukoumades?
Did the Loukoumades just
fly in by themselves?
Michael, you forgot
to put Lulu up there.
He goes running up there,
and writes in crayon, "Lulu,"
while I counted all the people
that had Loukoumades that night
and I never saw
my mother's name.
You know how many it was?
- How many?
- 18 people had
Loukoumades that night
they didn't see
my mother's name.
- Okay, so what happened next?
- Next?
What do you mean next?
- Telly, you said
the twist, the turns,
what happened?
- That was a twist and a turn.
Were you not listening
to the story?
- For real?
You mean to tell me,
you didn't talk to
Michael for 15 years,
because of the Lulu's
Loukoumades sign?
- That's right.
I tell him, you forget to
write her name up there,
I forget to talk to you
the rest of my life.
- So what made you come tonight?
- I have a good heart, you know.
I'm not like all the
rest of these Greeks,
who hold grudges forever.
- I can see you
don't hold a grudge.
- But there is one other
small part of the story
that I left out.
- Telly.
[far off music]
- Hold on.
[farting]
[laughs]
That was just the,
that was the garlic
going out the other end.
That's part of the
magic of Telly,
the good and the bad, the
good and the bad I say, okay?
You know, but when
the next one comes in,
I'm gonna blame it on you.
[lively Greek music]
[laughter]
- So Michael, how's
the work these days?
- Oh, it's fine.
- You're still working at ICG?
- Yeah.
- [Father Tom] Now,
what do you do there?
- I'm in systems analysis
and product development.
- System what?
Whatever the heck that is.
- Michael, you should
own that place by now.
You work there for so long.
- Come on Michael, you're next.
- Uh oh, here she
comes to the rescue
like the lone ranger,
Althea, hello,
[speaking foreign language]
You know, Michael.
All right Michael, do
your thing in therapy.
- So how's your
Christmas Eve going?
- Oh, I don't, I don't know.
- What's going on?
- Well.
I really appreciate your offer,
and I know you mean well,
but I really don't
even know you.
- I never know anyone
before I speak to them
the first time.
- I guess that's true.
- Do you still live in Greece?
- Greece?
[speaking foreign language]
I live here in
America for 42 years.
- Then why do you
still have an accent?
- I have an accent?
You have the accent my friend.
I get so mad when people
make fun of my accent.
You know, I've gotten into
fist fights over that.
Yeah, like, oh,
let's see, let's see.
You go to the Greece, let
me tell you something.
They all talk like
us, with this accent.
Am I right?
- Right, right.
I have 57 years, and
I have an accent.
- There you go.
[laughter]
- I love his accent.
- Me too.
And me too.
- So,
my time up?
- Why are you so edgy?
It's Christmas.
- I'm edgy?
- A little bit.
- I don't, I don't know.
Just.
Anyway, thank you.
I think my time's up.
- Your wife knows you well.
- What do you mean?
She said you wouldn't even try.
- Tiffany said I wouldn't try?
I was supposed to get
a promotion today,
and I didn't get it.
I mean, I wish I
could smile today.
But I, I know the problems
tomorrow's gonna bring.
I'm just so mad at myself.
I keep thinking, "Michael,
how did you end up like this?"
Struggling to pay your bills,
trying to keep your nose
above the waterline.
You can't put your
kid through college?
What's wrong with, what
kind of a man are you?
- Hey, you're a good man
going through some bad times.
You keep your head up, okay?
- I just keep going
back and think,
how did I mess my
life up like this?
I don't know.
- I'm gonna try
something with you.
I want you to write a letter.
- A letter to who?
- Yourself.
I want you as an adult
to write a letter to
Michael as a teenager.
I want you to give him
your thoughts and wisdom
about how to handle
life up ahead.
- Okay, I just, I pick
any date or something?
- [Althea] How about
your 13th birthday.
- I remember that day.
- Good.
- I'm gonna go see what's
going on out there,
I'll be back in a few minutes
to check on you, okay?
- Okay.
- So I was wondering
if you could help me
with my sociology paper.
- What's the topic
of this paper?
- What it means to be Greek.
- How long can this paper be?
- No more than three paragraphs.
- Three paragraphs?
[speaking foreign language]
They've written
books about Greece,
not just three paragraphs.
This tiny country, Greece,
has changed the whole world.
They say, "Telly I think
you're making it up."
No I don't.
Democracy, the Greeks.
Philosophy, guess who?
The Greeks.
- Literature.
- Guess who?
The Greeks.
- Bankrupted Euro.
- Guess who?
The Greeks.
- Don't pay any
attention to them,
the wise guys over here.
Science, the Greeks.
Mathematics, the Greeks.
The most important one of
all, the English language.
That's why it's so important
that you go to the Greek school.
You do go to Greek
school, don't you?
- We dropped out
of Greek school.
- Oh, oh don't say
that, don't say.
I don't want you to be known
as a Greek school dropout.
- Why, what's wrong with that?
- You know, I used to
teach Greek school.
We had a song for the
Greek school dropouts.
If you hit me in the key
of C, I'll sing it for you.
[gentle piano music]
♪ Your studies, sad to tell
♪ Couple of Greek boys,
♪ not [singing in
foreign language] well ♪
♪ Most mixed up [singing
in foreign language] ♪
♪ On the block
♪ Your future's so unclear now
♪ Your cousins think
you're weird now ♪
♪ Can't even get a job
in a Greek restaurant ♪
♪ Greeky school dropout
♪ No graduation day for you
♪ Greeky school dropout
♪ You're an embarrassment
to Yia Yia and Papou ♪
♪ Well at least you
could have taken time ♪
♪ To try and be another boy
♪ If I was a Jewish
grandmother ♪
♪ I look at you ans just say
♪ Oi
[laughter]
♪ Of us get moving
♪ I think you're the
reason Yia Yia may die ♪
♪ What are you doing
[singing in foreign language]
♪ If you go to
[singing in foreign language]
♪ They'll think you are a fool
♪ Turn in your mind change
♪ And go back to Greek school
Hello Alithea, my Greek sister,
dance with the [speaking
foreign language]
♪ Greeky school dropout
Oh, I love it baby!
[singing in foreign language]
♪ Greeky school dropout
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
♪ Well, they couldn't
teach you anything ♪
♪ They didn't want you
[singing in foreign language]
♪ You're worse are
bad at Greek school ♪
♪ They kicked you
out of the choir ♪
[singing in foreign language]
♪ Don't blow it
♪ Don't put my good
advice to shame ♪
[singing in foreign language]
♪ You'd know it
♪ Even Father Tom
says the same ♪
♪ Now I call the shot
♪ Get off of the pot
♪ Cause I really got to fly
[speaking foreign language]
♪ Got to be going to Greece on
♪ Olympic Airline
♪ Hit me boys
♪ Oh, shake it, don't
break it everybody. ♪
♪ Greeky school dropout
♪ Go back to Greek school
♪ Geeky school dropout
What about Jiffy,
where should he go?
♪ Go back to Greek school
♪ Greeky school dropout
♪ Go back to Greek school
[clapping]
Thank you so much.
[speaking foreign language]
I'm here all week.
You know, they call
me the Greek Pavarotti
when I was a kid,
but forget about it.
I don't want to brag,
I don't want to brag.
- Why don't you read to
me what you got so far?
- Dear Michael,
well your 13th birthday
didn't quite turn out
the way you thought
it would, did it?
A lot of tears were
shed last night.
I know you won't believe me now,
but getting cut from your
seventh grade basketball team
is gonna be one
of the best things
that ever happened to you.
You don't realize it now,
but tomorrow you're
gonna wake up
and volunteer to be the
manager of your team
just so you can be
around your friends.
You'll be getting them
towels, bringing them water.
It'll be a humbling
moment for you.
I'm proud of you
that you did it.
Even though people are
gonna make fun of you,
don't get discouraged.
I promise you this.
Those people will
call you two things
before you finish high school.
Champion and captain.
College will end differently
than you'd think.
Your mom and dad will feel
like they let you down.
Michael, don't make excuses.
You help them out, it was
the right thing to do.
Now there is one
really great thing
that's gonna happen to you
when you go to your
friend's wedding.
The only thing I'm
gonna say about it,
is when your friend
John tries to get you
into leaving that wedding
early, do not do it.
You keep, you keep your eyes
fixated on the gift table.
'Cause right about that time,
a young woman's gonna
walk up to that table.
Your life's gonna
change forever.
You'll know it the moment
you look into her eyes.
You're gonna see the
other half of your soul.
Treasure her.
Love her.
God gave you this
gift, don't blow it.
One last note, in
your young age,
you never think about losing
your mom and your dad.
But eventually everyone does.
It's one of those
painful facts of life.
When you lose your mother,
you feel like you
lost your best friend.
The person who
understands you the most,
loved you the most,
cared for you the most.
All of that's true.
But try and remember, we
believe there is a heaven,
and someday you're
gonna see her again.
You have my word on it.
Well, I'll say bye for now.
I'm gonna live the last
chapters of my life.
I've made some mistakes,
but don't worry.
I'm gonna make it right for you.
The best is yet to come.
Michael.
That's it.
- When did your mom pass away?
- It was about five years ago.
You know, she.
She would always say to me
that she felt bad
about the fact that
I had to drop out of
college to help them
with the restaurant.
She said, "I just
wanna live long enough,
to see you become a success."
But, you know, God took her
before that could happen.
- [Althea] Pretty angry
with God, aren't you?
[breathes deeply]
- I think I've been angry
with God since she died.
- And losing that promotion
today didn't help, did it?
- Yeah, I mean.
[sighs]
I know my mom is in heaven.
And I think if I had
gotten that promotion,
somewhere in my mind I felt
like her soul could rest.
- You know, I lost my mom.
- Really?
- You never stop thinking
about them, do you?
- She was my best friend.
I could call her about
anything and she,
whatever it was, if it was
something good happening,
or something bad happening.
She always knew the right
thing to say, you know,
that, that.
That would either, you know,
guide me in the right
direction or make me laugh,
or whatever it was, you know.
She just .
I.
I just wish I could
pick up the phone
and just talk to her.
You know, that's.
I just miss, I just miss that.
I mean, it's goofy.
But I actually her
answering machine now.
And just so I can
hear her voice on it.
Does that seem weird?
- Absolutely not.
Everyone grieves differently.
You don't wanna know what I do.
[laughs]
To remember my mom.
- I know one of these days
I'll probably stop
doing it, but.
- When the time is
right, you will know.
- I just feel like for
these last five years
since she died.
I've been trying to
get that promotion,
putting in so many hours.
I just feel like my
you know, my kids and Tiffany,
they haven't gotten
the best of me.
- Oh,
that can all change.
It doesn't take much.
You'd be surprised.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
[singing in foreign language]
- So Popou, what have you
been doing since you retired?
[snoring]
- [Michael] Hey, you
want some help with that?
- [Tiffany] Sure, why not.
- That was a great
Christmas gift.
- Thanks.
You know I'd hoped to give
it to you in private, but.
- Work got in the way.
I know I've gotta change.
- I just want my
old Michael back.
The one who used to goof around
and not take life so seriously.
- I know.
Tiffany, I would do
anything for you.
I would.
- You said those
same words to me
on the night we got married.
The title of our first dance?
Barry White song?
- Oh, Honey, it
was 18 years ago.
I got a lot on my mind.
I still mean it, though.
- I hope so.
[energetic music]
♪ Baby
♪ Oh Baby
♪ You make me feel
♪ So real
♪ Yes, my beautiful wife
♪ Is so, so real
♪ What I feel
♪ I've got a love for you
♪ So strong I don't
know what to do ♪
♪ You're my world,
my hopes and dreams ♪
♪ Without you girl,
there's no song to sing ♪
♪ With you I can do
♪ Anything you want me to
♪ You're my girl, my
hopes and dreams ♪
♪ Without you there's
no song to sing ♪
- Are you kidding me?
There people are freaks.
♪ From the day we'd said I do
♪ I've been hooked on you
♪ You know it's true
♪ I've got a love for you
♪ So strong I don't
know what to do ♪
♪ You're my world,
my hopes and dreams ♪
♪ Without you girl,
there's no song to sing ♪
♪ With you I can do
♪ Anything you want me to
♪ You're my girl, my
hopes and dreams ♪
♪ Without you here
there's no song to sing ♪
- Unbelievable.
Someone should call the
cops on these people
- Maybe we should go to bed.
- Who can sleep with
this crazy stuff on?
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe we should call it a night.
♪ Girl you are my desire
♪ You set my world on fire
♪ From the day we said I do
♪ I've been hooked on you
♪ You know it's true
♪ I got a love for you
♪ So strong I don't
know what to do ♪
♪ You're my world,
my hopes and dreams ♪
♪ Without you girl
♪ There's no song to sing
♪ No, no
♪ No, no, no, no, no
♪ No, no
♪ No
♪ No
♪ I got a love for you
♪ So strong I don't
know what to do ♪
[gentle piano music]
[speaking foreign language]
[gentle piano music]
- You still love me?
- More than ever.
[gentle orchestral music]
- Barry White.
You and Michael got a little
bit of freak in you, huh?
- No, no, no, no, no.
That was just the first
song at out wedding.
- Listen.
When you was out there
dancing with Michael,
did you tell him it's on?
- I couldn't do it.
I mean, he was so
sweet and wonderful.
That was my old Michael.
- Now that was not the
plan, now was it, Boo?
Next time you get Michael alone,
you tell him straight up,
it's on.
Okay?
Or no more Mrs Clause,
h*, h*, h*.
- h*, h*, h*.
I can do this.
- I can explain.
[applause]
- There she is,
there she is.
- So Alithea, is
there any hope for us?
- There is.
You know what I notice?
You guys love each
other very much,
but you don't talk
to each other.
Do you know what a
difference it would make
if each of you were
to admit a shortcoming
and said you were sorry?
Anyone wanna volunteer?
- I just wanted to say we've
had an amazing time tonight,
but I feel like we should
tell you something.
- We're actually from
the electric company.
- Electric company?
Where you from?
- I think you guys saw
our uniforms and thought
we were someone else.
- Yeah, we were just
going door to door
to make sure
everything was okay.
There had been some outages
in the neighborhood.
But we gotta tell
you, you guys rocked.
And we're coming back whether
you like it or not next year.
- You're invited,
you're invited.
- I guess I'll go next.
When Michael and I
first got married,
some people made me feel
a little like an outsider.
But Father Tom, you
changed all that.
I remember the first time
you left me a voicemail
and you said that you
were excited about me
joining the choir.
And that was the first time
someone made me feel welcome
in the church, and that's
why I started going
to the Orthodoxy classes, and
that's why I'm converting.
So I just wanted to
say thank you for that.
You changed my life.
I know you probably hear
that stuff all the time,
but I wanted to thank you.
[applause]
- Father Tom, go.
You're next, wheel
of fortune, go.
- I guess now would
be a good time
for me to say something.
[laughs]
Being here tonight has
been really good for me.
You made me laugh and smile,
and remember what it was like
when I first arrived here.
I'd been thinking that I haven't
really made a difference here.
But you made me rethink that.
I was actually thinking about
going to another parish.
- No, don't do that, don't
do that, don't get crazy.
- But you all made me realize
that this is where I belong.
[applause]
- It gets better.
Each one got better than that.
- Yeah.
- Who's next?
- Oh, oh, that, oh.
It's here this way.
Okay, hold on a second.
All right, well here
goes, what the heck?
Yes, I see you over here,
look ladies we, all
right, here goes.
Well, the other day I was
cleaning out my garage,
what do I find?
Lulu's Lukumades sign.
Yeah, I know.
So, I feel bad for this.
All these years I accused
Michael of losing the sign,
you know, and in the
end, I was wrong.
Michael, I hope
that you forgive me.
- Oh, of course I forgive you.
And I apologize to you for
making fun of your accent.
- Well, I accept your apology,
and in the future I will
try and speak better Greek.
[clapping and laughing]
Like you are, no like you,
actually Greek, Greek, Greek,
Greek, Greek, Greek, Greek.
English, English, Greek.
Forget about it.
You.
You, all right, go.
Who's next?
- I guess it's my turn.
Couple of things I wanna say.
First of all, this morning I
was rushing out the door and
my son asked me a question
for his paper for school.
And the question was, what
does it mean to be Greek?
And I really didn't give
him an answer, did I?
I'd like to take
another try at it today.
I heard Telly telling
you before that
all the wonderful things that
Greece has given the world,
and they're true.
But there's one thing
that he didn't mention
that our forefathers
had given us.
And that is a passion for life.
You know, the funny
thing about Greeks,
we can't just sing.
We gotta get on top of a table,
and then we sing, you know.
We can't just dance, we
gotta start breaking dishes,
then we dance.
And it's that,
it's that passion that carries
us through all of our life,
but it's not only in the good
times it carries us through.
It also carries us through
the tough times, you know?
Those times when things
aren't going your way.
Defeat, rejection, losing.
Those are momentary
occurrences to a Greek,
never a final destination.
We always believe that we have
a rendezvous with victory.
Man, it's in our DNA.
We return to our faith,
we return our friends,
we return to our family.
And collectively,
they hoist us up
and let us set sail back out
onto the sea of our dreams.
That's what it means
for me to be Greek.
[applause]
There's one other
thing that I left out.
The real reason we invited
you all over here tonight,
was that I was expecting
a huge promotion.
And I didn't get it.
And I was just trying
to get through the night
without having to tell
any of you about that.
So, I just thought I'd
tell all of you that.
- Where were you
three hours ago?
One of the yia yias read
it on your cellphone.
- [Yia Yia] You
should be careful
where you leave your cellphone.
- That's right, tell him that.
- That's right.
- That's right, that's right.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Merry Christmas everyone.
- Disco, what are
you doing here?
- Michael, I've been
texting you all night.
- Texting me for what?
- There was a delay
in his flight.
He couldn't get to a
phone for two hours.
They're waiting to
talk to you right now.
- Oh, no kidding, all right.
- Why don't we go
in the other room
and talk to them
for five minutes.
- No, this is my family,
you can talk in front of them.
Go, put it on speaker phone.
- Okay.
Mister Dallas, I'm
here with Michael.
- [Dallas] Michael,
sorry to interrupt there.
I'll make this quick.
The job of western regional
president of ICG is yours.
It's a 15% increase
in your base salary.
You'll get use of
our vacation condo,
access to our board.
It would require you moving
full time to Arizona,
but the weather's great here.
All you have to do is say
yes, and the job is yours.
- Mister Dallas,
thank you so much.
But there's a couple
of deal points
that I would have
to go over with you.
- [Dallas] Go ahead.
First of all, I drop my kids
off at school in the morning,
and after that I'm all yours
up until 6:30 at night,
but at 6:30 at night, I got
to be home with my family
having dinner.
- [Dallas] Done.
- And if my kids want me to
come to their football games
or you know, they just
need time to talk to dad,
or have school events
or something like that,
I have to take
time off for work.
- [Dallas] Okay.
- And the last point is, I need
to be in church on Sundays.
I don't want to work
on Sundays anymore.
- [Dallas] I respect that.
Is that a yes, then?
- Well, you know, I've gotta
talk it over with my wife
and my kids first.
- [Dallas] Michael, we
need an answer tonight.
We'll increase your
current pay by 25%.
- Yes, we'll say yes.
- [All] Yes.
[speaking foreign language]
- I guess, Mister Dallas,
that the answer is--
- Excuse me, hold
on, hold the phone.
Gotta put my two
cents on the table.
- [Dallas] Who is this speaking?
- This is Harisotella
Haralamides.
Who's this?
- [Dallas] Who are you?
- I'm [speaking
foreign language]
the negotiator.
- [Dallas] Sorry, it's a
little hard to hear you
with that accent?
- Excuse me?
I have an accent, you
have an accent my friend.
- Go ahead.
- Could you arrange for a
couple of airline tickets
next Christmas so that
Michael and his family
could come back?
- [Dallas] Consider it done.
- Are they first class?
- [Dallas] We'll make sure
they're first class tickets.
- Oh, it's a yeah, that you see.
The negotiator.
Who negotiates the
things around here?
[speaking foreign language]
Well, I think I can
speak the whole table,
like I have all night.
Deal is done.
- It's a deal, Mister
Dallas, thank you.
And I appreciate you calling.
- [Dallas] Great.
- One other thing.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- [Dallas] What's that?
- Nothing, nevermind.
Mister Dallas,
thank you so much.
You have a merry Christmas.
- [Dallas] Welcome aboard,
and to all of you there,
[speaking foreign language]
[clapping and cheering]
- Telly, go Telly,
go Telly, go Telly,
Go Telly, Telly, Telly.
[speaking foreign language]
- Your mom would be so proud.
[laughs]
- [Father Tom] Congratulations.
- Hey Father, could I borrow
the keys to the church
for a few minutes?
- It should still be open.
[gentle piano music]
- [Aspasia Voicemail] Hi, you've
reached Aspasia Karountzos.
Sorry I missed you.
State your name, phone number,
and something that
will make me smile.
- Hey mom, it's me.
Who else would it be, right?
What a great day, mom.
What a great Christmas.
I don't know where to start.
Tiffany converted, I
got the job promotion,
and Telly, he actually
started talking to me
after 15 years, what a day.
You know mom, I've
been thinking that
you probably have more
important things to do
than to listen to
these messages, so.
I was thinking that maybe
it was time for me to say,
to say goodbye.
And let you do all
the wonderful things
that I'm sure that God wants
you to do up in heaven.
You know mom, there
was so much that
I wanted you and
I to talk about.
And I always thought there
would be another day.
And I regret that.
But hopefully you been
listening to these silly
messages of mine,
and if you haven't,
you and I have got a
lot of catching up to do
if I get up into heaven.
Oh, mom.
It was just such a
beautiful day today.
You would have loved it, I
wish you could have been there.
But something tells
me that you were.
Anyway [sighs]
I guess it's time
to say goodbye.
[heavy breathing]
Mom, I love you.
I really love you.
Bye-bye.
- [Father Tom Voiceover]
Finally the Lord said,
I will send My son
and His love will rest
gently on all mankind.
And through Him, I will
be reconciled with man.
On this Christmas Eve,
this is the message I
wanna leave you with.
God sent His son, Jesus Christ,
for you.
- I'm sorry.
- Hey guys, come here.
Here's 20 bucks for each of you.
- What for?
- Get me a copy of all the
music you were playing tonight.
Make sure you put in
all that soul stuff too,
and I'll give you each
another $20, all right?
- Sure.
- Don't leave anything out.
- [Kaslowski's Wife]
Sweetie, are you coming?
- Coming Honey, be right there?
Hey, what's you guys' names?
- I'm Zorba.
- Garalenbose.
- I like those names.
Strong, you Greeks
are all right.
- [Both] Merry Christmas.
- You have no idea.
- Merry Christmas,
thanks for coming.
- This meant so much.
Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you for being here.
- [Father Tom] You.
- You, you.
What a way to end
the night, huh?
- Yeah, I will
see you on Sunday.
- God bless you, Father.
- [Father Tom] Bye.
- Yia Yia.
- You're a great cook.
- Ah.
- Thank you.
- [Yia Yia] You're welcome.
[speaking foreign language]
- [Tiffany] Merry Christmas
to you, thank you.
- Merry Christmas Yia Yia,
[speaking foreign language]
- One more.
- [Angelo] Tiffany, Michael,
what a Christmas guys.
Group hug [yelling].
Merry Christmas,
thank you so much.
- And you were the
life of the party.
- [Althea] So much fun.
I'll see you next time.
- I'll see you soon.
- It's on.
- Hey Lance.
- Hey.
- You know what that
promotion means, don't you?
Go blue.
[laughs]
Papou told me to give it to you.
- No way.
- [Michael] Isn't that cool?
- That's so awesome.
- Well, Exanthula, what a night.
The singing, the dancing, every.
So much fun.
As they say in Greece,
we are now closer than
[speaking foreign language]
your fanny and your underwear.
- It's a good thing, right?
- That's a great thing.
All right, give me
a hug for the road.
Oh, so much fun.
Oh, hold the hug, hold the hug,
it's cold outside.
I love you, Tiffany, I love you.
- [Tiffany] Okay.
- Okay, oh.
Oh, that was good.
Okay, well listen.
[speaking foreign language]
Do you have one
more hug in there?
Forget about it.
I love you.
Oh, you, oh [laughs].
I love it, I love it,
I love it, I love it.
All right.
You tell Mike I said
goodbye, bye-bye.
- [Tiffany] I will,
thank you, Telly.
- [Telly] Oh, it's
cold out here.
- Oh, Telly just left.
He said goodbye.
- Oh, you're kidding.
No, he's on the phone, so.
I think that was the
perfect Christmas.
- But I just wanted to say
that when Papou and
the kids are asleep,
it's on.
- What?
- Did I stutter?
It's on.
- Okay, guys.
Let's get to bed, come on.
What are you doing?
- Eating dessert.
- Dessert, no, no, no.
It's time to go to
bed, come on, come on.
- [Lance] Now?
- Forget the dishes.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
- [Michael] Oh dad, come on.
We'll do it tomorrow.
- You must come in now.
- Get in there.
- What do you got
for you, Papou.
- My surveillance cameras
recorded everybody leaving.
- You're spying
one everyone now?
- [Michael] Come on.
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
[laughs]
[speaking foreign language]
Did you just speak Greek?
[speaking foreign language]
- That was your second gift.
I've been taking Greek
lessons for a year.
- What a Christmas.
[laughs]
- Look, Angelo.
- He's gonna propose.
[laughs]
[phone ringing]
- Hello, this
Harisotella Haralamides.
- Oh, you can turn it off.
Nothing's gonna
top that ring, dad.
- It's very funny to
see this, this thing.
- [Telly] No, no, no.
Just finishing up the old Greeky
Christmas thing, you know.
Working on the Greek accent,
the yia yias they, they love
the Greek accent, you know.
How you doing?
What you doing?
You know what time it is, girl?
That's right, it's Telly time.
You have the wrong number,
don't come back here, get a,
I'll call the police.
[police siren]
- I knew it.
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Get up
♪ Get down
♪ Get up
♪ Get it
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Get up
♪ Get down
♪ Get down
♪ Get it
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Christmas
♪ Get up
♪ Get down
♪ Get up
♪ Get it
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Get up
♪ Get down
♪ Get down
♪ Get it
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Get up
♪ Get down
♪ Get down
♪ Get it
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Ooh
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Ooh
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling-ting
ring-a-ring-a-ling-ting ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling ring-a-la-ting
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ The toys all
got to go around ♪
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ Tonight
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ You know he
always goes around ♪
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ Tonight
♪ Ooh
♪ Ooh
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ They toys all
got to go around ♪
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ Tonight
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
♪ You know he always
goes around. ♪
♪ Santa Clause is
coming to town ♪
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Christmas With the Karountzoses (2015)
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