Previously on "I Am Jazz"...
The testosterone suppression
did you two big favors here,
but it didn't do you
any favors down below.
He said that I should
get a colon vaginoplasty.
They take part of the
colon and use that.
The negative is that it smells.
Ew.
I'm going ice skating,
but Skylar is making it seem like this
is going to be some sort of date.
Well, what do you want to do?
I think I'm just going
to sit down, honestly.
Do you need help?
Just go and skate.
How'd it go?
Ugh!
I just really hate myself!
[Sighs]
Jazz: years ago, I was
assigned male at birth,
but inside, I always knew I was a girl.
I have a girl brain and a boy body.
Being transgender hasn't been easy.
This is definitely not,
like, a straightforward case.
I don't think you have many
options for a vaginoplasty.
- I had a great time.
- I had a lot of fun.
Have a great night.
- Now, it sounds like a date.
- It's not a date!
But it's made me who I am.
Jeanette: So why don't you talk to
us and just tell us what happened?
You don't look happy
right now. You just tired?
I'm not in a good mood right now.
I don't know what I
want, what I want to do,
who I like, who I am.
Ugh!
Okay. I just really hate myself!
Yeah. I don't think that's how
you're supposed to come back
from a social event.
I'm not surprised that Jazz
came home from ice skating
and she's not in the best mood
because Jazz feels very
awkward in social situations.
I know her. And whenever she says that,
it means that she wasn't nice to people.
Go ahead. Go talk to her.
You're better at talking
to a teenage girl than I am.
Yeah.
Jeanette: The reason Jazz has
a hard time meeting new people
is because she sabotages herself.
People want to meet her.
They want to talk to her,
and she just withdraws.
Like, she doesn't let them in.
It's all coming from her.
Jazz?
Leave me alone.
Well, I need to find
out what's bothering you.
I hate myself.
Why?
I'm selfish.
I just feel like I'm
so mean to everyone.
You have your moments
where you can be bitchy,
but when you do things like that,
I think that's what
causes you to be like this.
Am I right?
I love you so much.
I hate to see you cry like this.
Every time I'm in social settings,
like, I see how cool people are,
and I'm just, like...
I don't know. I just
feel bad about myself.
My biggest fear is that she
won't learn and accept that,
you know, you're not always
going to be comfortable.
The world is not going
to be always perfect.
This is life. Like, you're
going to be in social situations.
It's something we need to work
on and help her get past that.
You're a very brave person.
I know you don't think you
are, but you're extremely brave.
So don't even think that
about yourself. Okay?
I don't hate myself.
I just hate some things about me.
I know I have a lot of
problems and imperfections.
Sometimes, I can be rude,
say what's on my mind,
be a little blunt, and
sometimes, that's not right.
But when it comes to my personal issues,
I know how to fix them.
It just comes down to
me wanting to fix them.
There's no reason for you
to hate yourself ever, okay?
Don't think nasty things about yourself.
♪♪
The other day, I saw
this guy on the street.
And he was like, "hey. I
haven't seen you in forever."
I'm like, "we sit next to
each other in first period."
He was just, like...
He was so embarrassed.
He was, like, "thanks."
[Laughter]
I haven't really made
any new friends at school.
But outside of school,
I have this really great
core group of friends.
And after last night,
it feels really good
to catch up on homework
and just hang out.
So how was that date at
the ice skating thing?
I was not a date! Okay?
You know, he's into art. I'm into art,
and we're both trans.
We had a lot of similarities.
So we got together and went ice skating.
- That sounds like a date.
- It's not a date!
It sounds like a double date.
No!
Well, it's really
annoying that my friends
are calling this a date
because a date is where
you go out with someone
that you may want to
pursue a relationship with.
I do not feel that way about Shane.
Whatever it was, hanging
out with your friends.
While I was ice skating, like, I fell
and then Shane came by himself.
And it was just me and
him, and I was like, "ugh.
This is kind of weird."
I'm like, "you can go back ice skating."
[Laughter]
I felt bad,
but I also thought the
situation was kind of awkward.
And I don't know.
I wanted to be alone
because I was kind of upset.
Can I ask what you
were, like, upset about?
I just don't like social
situations in general.
Yeah but, like, the thing
is, it is hard to see,
like, who a person is
if they're constantly,
like, in damage control.
Like, you can't fully express yourself
because you're not trying
to express yourself.
You're trying to make
things not awkward.
Noelle: I think Jazz didn't
really give Shane a chance
because meeting people
for the first time
is always awkward.
And not giving people chances
will impair her ability
to make friends or to get
a boyfriend or girlfriend
or just find any love.
And, sadly, I don't
think she recognizes that.
Jazz: Most teenage
girls are very boy-crazy.
But I'm really not that boy-crazy.
It's not that I am not attracted
to guys because I definitely am.
It's just, I'm not sure how
I'm going to fall in love,
but I know... No, I don't know.
I don't know why I said I
know because I don't know.
♪♪
♪♪
Look at how nicely
they're holding hands.
We don't do that.
Well, you have a cold.
I don't want to get sick.
You're not going to catch
a cold from my hands.
Today, we're hanging out with my
parents to have wine and cheese.
It's been awhile since
I've been able to get
the two of them together
at the same time.
I want to ask you a favor.
Oh, no.
I was asked to give a
talk with a group of people
from our generation, the
so-called silent generation,
about transgender issues.
If I show up and your mother shows up,
a few people will show
up to listen to us.
But if they know you
and Jazz are showing up,
we could have a number of people there.
Would you be interested in that?
Yes. I'll do it.
I will definitely talk to Jazz.
I'm sure she'll do it.
She wouldn't say no to you.
I think it's so endearing that
my father has become an advocate
for the transgender community.
This talk was a great opportunity
to introduce another generation
to what transgender people
are and how marvelous they are.
I know that Jazz likes the Q and A.
Like, people ask questions,
and she just has the
best answers always.
But that makes me the most nervous.
You're worried about them
getting nasty and not
being able to handle that?
No.
What if they're like, "why
would you do this to your kid?"
Like, what if they get
a little argumentative.
I'm always on alert
because there are quite
a few hateful people out there,
and they can be unpredictable.
Jack and Jacky's generation
might be more fixed in their ways.
And I don't think Jazz really
likes to be confrontational,
so it's a concern.
I can handle anything that
my generation can throw at me.
So I want to know what's
going on in your life.
Well, we recently saw
our very first doctor.
His name is Dr. Reed, and he's local.
He's been practicing a long time.
What does a long time mean?
Well, I don't know exactly
how old he is, but he's...
He's younger than you!
Maybe.
That doesn't say much.
Put it this way. He took
out a magnifying glass,
and he started reading her
file with a magnifying glass.
Oh, come on. You're kidding me.
No! He thinks I'm joking.
It was the truth.
Mission control, we may have a problem.
He felt like, after he examined her,
that because her private
area was so small,
there was really one type of procedure
that he would recommend.
He said a colonic vaginoplasty.
What is a colon vaginoplasty?
I know what the colon is.
Instead of using a penile inversion
which they use the penile skin
and part of the scrotum, you go in,
and you clip a little piece of the colon
and use that as the vaginal canal.
Wow.
I guess I'm at La-La Land
because I pictured surgery,
but I pictured it as, "one, two three.
Ready, set, go."
Honey, changing a male into a female,
under any circumstances has never been,
"one, two, three."
He did say something
about, like, a strange odor
for the first few months,
which just delighted Jazz.
Jacky: I have a funny, little vignette.
As the children were
born, Jazz arrived with
a lot of boy part there.
Honey, you don't want to put
this on national television.
No, but it's part of
the thinking process.
Come on.
And she was very well-endowed.
And I remember this.
- Is the baby all right?
- It's a boy for sure.
Jazz will never forgive you.
I'm sorry.
But life is so peculiar, just
in the irony of all of it.
Jacky: This is not so routine.
This frightens me in
terms of the complications,
the infections, bowel
production, all of it.
You're dealing in this area
that's ripe for problems.
And what are we going to get left with?
This is kind of stirring me up,
and I'm starting to feel nervous.
You're jumping the g*n
because we only spent time
with one doctor who didn't even know
what the hormone blocker name was.
I just want everything to be perfect.
It'll be perfect. She'll have the
most beautiful vag*na in the world.
[Chuckles]
I'm confident.
♪♪
♪♪
Hola, mis padres.
Hello.
Did you get your homework done?
Um, no. Not yet.
What? I have a lot.
Yeah, so?
I'll finish it after
I tell you something.
I was looking up information,
and I think I want
to have a consultation with
Dr. McGinn in Pennsylvania.
♪♪
I want to hear what
Dr. McGinn has to say
because she's had experience
with suppressed youth,
and maybe she'll provide other options
for someone like me besides
the colon vaginoplasty.
Tell me more about her.
Well, I know she has a lot of experience
working with individuals
who have been suppressed
for a long time.
And she's also transgender,
so she can relate
to what I'm going through.
You think you've done
enough homework to be sure
that she's definitely one of the doctors
that you would strongly consider?
Yes, for sure.
After Jazz's consultation with Dr. Reed,
I think she's extremely motivated
to make sure that she knows everything
that is known to mankind
about this procedure
because whatever procedure
she has, you know,
that's what she's going to
have for the rest of her life.
I'm proud that you went and
did your homework on this
because you saw somebody
and you realized that's
not the person for you.
This colon vaginoplasty
just seems a lot more risky
that the standard vaginoplasty
because they're using your
intestines, your colon.
It produces mucous and odor.
And I might have this red vag*na
that's distorted and d*sfigured.
Like, who wants that? Not me.
Let's make it happen.
♪♪
People always ask about the bathroom.
But you know what to
say about that, right?
I know what to say about
it, but I understand
- why people feel that way.
- Wait, you understand...
When you just said you understand
why people feel that way, go back.
...why people feel that way?
This contradicts everything
that we've been fighting for.
♪♪
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Hi, my beauty.
- What's up?
- What's up.
- Mm, you smell so nice.
Jeanette: Today, Jazz and
I are at my parents' house
because we agreed to help my dad
with a presentation
on transgender issues.
He's going to do most of the talking.
And then Jazz and I are going to answer
some questions afterwards.
So, Jazz, I want to get your
take on some of the things
that I've been thinking about.
My grandpa really embraces
the transgender community.
And his support, as well
as my grandma's support,
just means a lot to
me because coming from
an older generation,
sometimes you could
have these fixed ideas
and misconceptions.
I've had contact in my
generation with people
who are uncomfortable around me.
Knowing that we have Jazz...
- Really?
- ...And what we believe in.
Yeah. They have backed off.
People of my generation
had no experience in dealing
with transgender, as
I didn't, not even gay.
So we start from ground zero.
And some of our friends have lagged.
Jack: Many of them are
sympathetic to the issue
but they wonder why we are out front.
And we have to explain to them
that we personally are
not special but Jazz is.
What threatens people
about sex and gender
and when it doesn't match?
I think some people think
it's sexually perverted.
And anything that's sexually perverted
- just ruffles people's feathers.
- _
I'm trying to figure out
where the anger comes from.
And I think the anger comes
from survival of the species.
They just want us to
propagate the right way.
I'm like, "uh. I think
the opposite actually."
Especially since we can't
biologically reproduce,
we're controlling the population.
Grandpa sharing his
views with a large crowd,
it'll be interesting.
People like to ask personal questions.
- Okay.
- But sometimes people
can ask things that aren't so good.
- Inappropriate.
- Yeah.
- That are not kind.
- Right. - _
Oh, yeah.
You had a boy born to you.
But Jazz has gender-identity issues.
Does this not make her into a freak?
I just think I have to be ready
for some people saying things
that may be a little bit ignorant
and may catch me off-guard.
Hopefully, I could express how I feel,
and it will change their minds,
but I'm hoping that it
just won't happen at all.
What questions do you get?
People always ask about the bathroom.
Jacky: The bathroom.
But you know what to
say about that, right?
I know what to say about
it, but I understand
why people feel that way.
Wait, you understand...
When you just said you understand
why people feel that way, go back.
...why people feel that
way? Wait, go back to that.
Yeah. I understand why
certain people feel that way
because they don't believe
in the transgender issues.
They look at you as a boy
going into the women's bathroom.
That's why I understand how they feel.
Jazz: States are trying to
ban transgender individuals
from using the restroom
of the gender they identify with.
It's an act of discrimination.
If I had to use the men's restroom,
that would be more
harmful to my well-being.
So seeing my grandpa mess
up on something as simple
as the bathroom issue is concerning
because that just contradicts
everything that we've been fighting for.
I don't look at the bathroom issue
because you can be
private in a bathroom.
You have stalls. But
there are other problems.
I think showers probably
should go along with anatomy.
First of all, in this
day and age, the kids
aren't showering in the same stall.
Transgender youth have dysphoria.
They don't want people
seeing their bodies.
My dad is not thinking things
through because he's .
People don't shower together anymore.
I don't want my grandpa to
say anything that is harmful
because I know that
he messes up sometimes.
And if he misrepresents the community,
then all of these
people will be educated
with the wrong information.
♪♪
[Insects chirping]
♪♪
- Class here. Classy ladies.
- Oh, that's great.
My friends Mya and Noelle wanted
to catch up by having lunch.
There's one menu here. Do you
guys just want to share this?
Having friends who are also transgender
and just completely are understanding
when it comes to my
issues, it's really helpful
because they're a great support system.
They're experiencing
the same things as me.
Is everything still going well?
Everything is pretty good.
I have a boyfriend now, actually.
Of course you have a boyfriend.
Look how pretty you are.
Thank you.
Between Skylar and now Mya,
I feel like all my friends
are pairing off and I'm the odd man out.
And while it may seem
like I'm shutting down
all the guys I meet, I just know
when I'll have that special
connection with someone.
Noelle: Does he know you're trans?
Yeah. Yeah.
And he's accepting?
Yeah.
Does he identify as straight,
as pansexual, or what?
He identifies as straight.
I was pretty hesitant
to, like, start dating
because just because
somebody is with me,
they're going to be,
like, having to deal with
- so much negativity.
- Mm-hmm.
And, like, I don't want
to change somebody's life
for the worse, but...
If it was really
changing it for the worse
I don't think they'd date you.
Like, you know that he's happy with you.
Yeah.
In this relationship,
do you feel more inclined
to get the surgery now?
It's kind of the opposite.
Like, I want it for me,
regardless but it is, like,
a little bit of less stress
because he's expressed
that whatever I want to do,
whether I have it or not,
it's not going to make
a difference to him.
That's cool because if you like someone
you should be comfortable around them.
You shouldn't have to, like,
put on a mask for anything.
So I think that's cool you're
not as anxious as you were.
You're getting bottom
surgery though, right?
Yep.
How are you feeling about it all?
You know, I want an alternative
to this colon vaginoplasty.
Oh, so you're not really for that one?
Pulling my colon out of my stomach,
that doesn't sound appealing.
That sound a little intense.
You know, anatomy really isn't my thing.
But I know that the colon is
part of the digestive tract,
and that the poop goes through it.
And that is not appealing.
What was the doctor's name
you were going to ask
your parents about?
Dr. McGinn.
I told them how Dr. McGinn
has experience working
with suppressed youth.
So my parents agreed to
take me to Pennsylvania
this weekend for a consultation.
Are you nervous?
I am I guess a little bit anxious
to see what she's going to say.
I've only heard of the
upsides of being suppressed.
You don't grow facial hair.
Your voice doesn't deepen.
Your shoulders don't get broader.
But because of her suppression,
now she actually faces some difficulty.
This is a big fork in the road for her.
I want to hear other options.
Like, I feel like there's more to it
than just a colon vaginoplasty.
It's a little bit scary
because obviously I'm hoping
that Dr. McGinn is going
to say something like,
"of course I could do
the standard procedure.
Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.
I've done it before
for someone suppressed."
But I'm not sure if
that's going to happen.
♪♪
Jeanette: Grandpa is
very, very pumped up.
He has a name for this. He
calls it "transgender ."
So I can't believe how much
this thing has blown up.
The whole community is coming.
Well, I like doing these
things but I'm always worried,
especially with an older generation,
that's somebody is
going to challenge us.
So just be prepared.
People are going to ask you questions.
Some of them might be very far-fetched.
It will be very interesting,
to say the least.
I'm a little bit worried
about this Q and A because
old people sometimes just
say whatever is on their mind.
And a lot of times
they aren't up to date
on what is going on in the world.
So I don't know if
they'll have very ignorant
or uneducated questions.
And I don't want this to turn
into Liberty counsel number two.
I can't imagine how one could transition
without the appropriate hormones.
Jazz: Yeah, I disagree with that.
My grandpa always has to be right.
I know you're very
stubborn, but you were wrong.
All right. Let's not
talk about this anymore.
- Grandpa, I love you.
- No. You can't cut me off
in the middle of an argument.
♪♪
[Indistinct conversations]
♪♪
So what do you think about
how many people are coming?
I am sort of amazed.
Maybe the public has more
interest in this topic
than I ever imagined.
I'm very excited about the fact
that the crowd is fairly large
because I can present my feelings toward
what it means to be transgender.
[Applause]
Some of the members of
the audience may wonder why
I'm here lecturing
on transgender issues.
It's obvious. I have a
transgender granddaughter.
And I'm anxious to talk to you
about the things that I learned.
The thing that I want
to emphasize to you
is that gender identity
is not an either/or.
You may not feel entirely like a woman.
You may not entirely feel like a man.
But this is a matter of
personality and who you are.
Not only did we get a wonderful
transgender grandchild,
she's more than transgender. She's Jazz.
[Applause]
Jazz: My grandpa's talk is really sweet.
I think it's absolutely astounding
how my grandparents were raised
in a completely different time period
when transgender people
weren't even heard of,
and now they're advocates
of our community.
Okay. Now we'll open it up
to questions and answers.
My question is directed
to Jack and Jacky.
Man: How did you come to
terms with this years ago
or years ago?
Was it difficult?
It's a process.
I'll never forget the day
that Jeanette called in tears,
"Mommy, I had to put
the twins' clothing away.
I can't fight this anymore."
There was no choice.
Once Jazz was out and Jeanette and Greg
decided to go public
with it, we followed suit.
When we experience the and
the and the -year-old Jazz,
little did we know that
she's an exceptional person.
Any kind of handicap she would have
she can handle very effectively.
Jazz: I can't believe he said that.
I'm just a normal teenage girl
and I wouldn't consider myself
as having any sort of disability.
I'm a little bit worried
because I honestly have no idea
what more to expect.
I think one of the major
questions that most people
have at this point is if you
have decided to have the surgery.
And do you think there's any
possibility that afterwards
you would have any regrets about it?
I will say that I
definitely, percent know
that I do want the procedure.
We are currently on the search
for the best surgeon possible
for me to get this procedure done.
Overall, I'm super-confident about it.
And I don't think I would
have any regrets whatsoever.
I mean, I've known I was a girl
since right out of the womb,
for real.
[Laughter]
Getting the surgery done
is definitely a very personal journey.
And most transgender
people don't like to share
all of the details
but I really want to
put it all out there
because I feel like
people need to be educated.
Hi. I'm born female, but
I really don't feel female.
I'm saving up for
some day to get surgery
but I'm afraid of the hormone situation.
I'd love to transition maybe
without hormones or very little.
But you still want...
I mean my voice would have to change
and I'd have to grow
hair to, like, pass.
Is that something I would need?
I can't imagine how one
could go through a transition
without the appropriate
hormones somewhere along the way.
Yeah. I disagree with that.
People could do... Yeah, no.
- No.
- No.
You know, this person
may not want to have
those secondary male characteristics...
Well, that's what I
was just getting into.
As I said, it may be
important to you, it may not.
If it's not important
to you, don't do it.
Don't listen to my grandpa.
When it comes to being transgender,
some people do want to get the surgery,
and some people don't
want to get the hormones.
They don't really care about
secondary male characteristics
like a deeper voice,
height, Adam's apple.
It's just different for everyone.
Everyone has a different journey.
Remember, gender is a spectrum.
People do what makes them happy,
what they want their body to be like.
And they know the appropriate
things they want to take
and what they don't want to take, so...
Were you listening to my lecture?
I did call it a spectrum.
I know. I know.
[Laughter]
But then you just contradicted that.
Jazz is extremely precocious,
extremely bright, and
extremely knowledgeable.
But I'm not certain she
understood where I was going.
So if there's any conflict,
it's a matter of communication
more than what the issues really are.
Ah. You did great, grandpa.
Oh, thanks.
Except for when you said that one thing.
What thing?
You were telling that person,
"I don't see how you
could transition from..."
- Oh.
- "...female to male
without taking hormones."
No. I know what you meant, but I...
But listen. Just
listen before you speak.
This is the point I'm
just trying to make.
You were kind of saying, like...
I agree with...
...they cant be who they are...
- No. No.
- ...without taking hormones.
I'm talking... Transition
is the key word.
- But you can.
- Yeah.
You can. You can still...
- Yeah, but...
- ...I know someone, a singer,
he identifies as male percent,
he hasn't taken any hormones
to preserve his voice...
Yeah, but every...
Grandpa, I know you're very
stubborn, but you were wrong.
You didn't know what I was going to say.
As far as the hormones are concerned,
this is good for some people and
it may not be good for others.
At first, you were saying
something that sounded wrong
and I just didn't want you
to keep going down that path.
No. No. No. No.
After I said something,
then you fixed your error,
- and it was fine after that.
- No. You didn't let...
All right. Let's not talk
about this anymore, Grandpa.
- I love you. Mwah!
- No. You can't cut me off
in the middle of an argument!
My grandpa is very stubborn
and always has to be right.
So it's really hard to
have a discussion with him
when you are opposing what he's saying
because he's really not going to listen.
I can't deal with grandpa
when he's like this.
We're on our way heading to Philadelphia
for my consultation.
I'm anxious to see if Dr. McGinn
will provide some alternatives
for someone who is suppressed like me.
We don't have the raw materials
we need to make what we're used to.
Oh, no. Here it comes again.
_
_
♪♪
Super excited. We're at
the airport on our way
heading to Philadelphia
for my consultation.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
I'm just really excited but
I'm also very anxious to see
if Dr. McGinn will
provide some alternatives
for someone who is suppressed like me
when it comes to getting
the bottom surgery.
We're in Philly, whoo!
Time to get the big v.
Oh, stop it.
[Chuckles]
♪♪
Woman: Dr. McGinn will be
with you in just a few minutes.
- Thank you.
- You like those jeans?
I... they're fine
jeans, but they always...
You got your cold weather boots?
...they get fuzzies.
You know what I mean?
Jeanette: Jazz doesn't want
to do the colon vaginoplasty
that Dr. Reed has suggested.
So I have no idea really what to expect.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Good morning. How are you?
My name is Dr. Christine McGinn.
And I am a board-certified
plastic surgeon specializing
in transgender medicine and surgery.
The majority of my
patients have lived a life
where the identify as female.
And they have to wake up in
the morning and get dressed
and see parts that don't match.
And over a lifetime, that
can cause a lot of distress.
The simplified version of this surgery
is just to take everything
apart into its parts,
resize them into female proportions,
and then put it back
together in female positions.
Sounds easy, right?
- Yeah.
- Piece of cake.
It's very important for
you to not just focus
on the aesthetics of this,
but the function of it.
I will say, off the top,
that most people who are able
to have orgasm easily
before surgery can have
orgasm after surgery.
An orgasm is like a
reflex. It's like a sneeze.
It either happens or it doesn't happen.
I haven't experienced
any sexual sensation.
So when the doctors are saying
an orgasm is like a sneeze,
I don't even know what
she's talking about
because when I sneeze it definitely
doesn't feel that great.
[Scoffs] I don't know.
I haven't experienced it.
I'll let you know when the time comes.
So the other area of interest
is the G spot, which is inside.
Basically the prostate in
men and the G spot in women
is surrounded by
erogenous nerve endings.
And that's another place where
you can experience orgasm.
So your prostate is more like a G spot.
- Okay.
- It's your secret w*apon.
- [Laughter]
- Okay?
Fun.
This is a very uncomfortable
conversation to have.
It's very private. It's very personal.
If it wasn't because it
was important, you know,
I really wouldn't want to be
engaging in that conversation.
You've probably noticed since
you've started on estrogen,
your interest in sex has
gone down with the hormones
or maybe you just never had one?
Jazz: It is possible
that hormone suppression
has affected my libido.
I don't have the same signals
coming from my genitalia to my brain
and I don't have those
hormones driving me on.
- Let's move on to risks.
- Okay.
Dr. McGinn: Post-op
depression is very common.
You've had this major life event.
And it's normal to feel a little
blue a couple months after.
It doesn't mean you're having regret.
I'm extremely worried about
Jazz falling into a depression
after the surgery because her depression
is always lurking back there
and I don't want to poke it.
What we're worried about is,
are you mentally stable enough to do
what you need to do to
recover from surgery?
- Mm-hmm.
- We'll need two letters
from a therapist who specializes
in transgender medicine.
In my opinion therapy is the
most important part of all this.
If someone has a temporary
depression following surgery
and they don't feel like
doing their post-operative care
it can have lifetime results.
The hard part isn't over
after the surgery day.
It's really just beginning.
Jazz doesn't like going to
therapy, but she needs it.
So I'm almost relieved knowing
that she's going to have to go
to two therapists to get her letters
to have the surgeries.
Let's just do our exam and
then that way we can talk
about the surgery intelligently.
I don't know if the parents
want to stay here or not.
I'm going to excuse myself.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Mom can stay with you.
- Bye-bye.
I had a dream last night
about me having a vag*na.
And it was a good dream.
But I think the reason why I had it was
because I've just been thinking
about this procedure so much.
When it comes to when I'm
going to get the procedure done,
how I'm going to get it done,
who I'm going to get it done with.
So her supprelin is
working really well, so...
[Laughter]
She has a very, very small penis.
So my concern is that we're
just now getting these children
who have been on
puberty-delaying hormones
and the penis never
has a chance to grow.
So when it comes to the surgery,
we don't have the raw materials
we need to make what we're used to.
Oh, no. Here it comes again.
I was hoping that she was
going to be like, "okay.
I've dealt with this.
You know, it's fine.
I have this option, this option."
Now I am just worrying
because I don't know
if there is any procedure
that will work on me
and lead to really great results.
So what that means is I prefer
a standard vaginoplasty for Jazz.
Jazz: Hell yes! I have enough material
to get the standard vaginoplasty.
It's what I know best
and that's what I wanted.
But I would like to do
the surgery in two parts.
A major surgery in the beginning
and then maybe months later,
do a procedure to finish
the aesthetic part.
I'm not thrilled that Jazz would
have to have a two-part surgery
because it would mean longer recovery.
And she's susceptible to depression,
so Jazz should not be
given too much down time.
Would the results be
different in any way?
What it's going to kind of look like
in the beginning is a Barbie doll.
You won't see much.
It'll just be an
opening to urinate from.
And then a couple months
later, I'll open it up.
And then the clitoris
and the labia minora
will be more visible for you.
I know what the standard
vaginoplasty is but
I wasn't expecting
this two-part procedure.
So I'm kind of feeling
a little bit conflicted.
How many times have you
done the two-part version
of this procedure?
You're probably only
about the fifth person.
Hearing that Dr. McGinn has only worked
on five other suppressed youth
when it comes to this procedure,
it's just a little bit scary.
Another thing we could do
is take testosterone cream
and put it right on your genitals.
It might be enough to get things to grow
without turning into a
man in a week or months
- or even a couple months.
- Yeah.
- Right?
- Yeah.
I'm looking at your face.
She's not... See how...
See that's gender dysphoria right there.
The thought of having
anything masculine,
like, freaks people out.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
For Jazz, her body isn't
aligned with her mind.
I think the thought of
trying to make it grow
is horrifying to her.
Jazz: Who would want one
part of their body to grow?
Especially if you're a girl.
You're wouldn't want your penis to grow.
What girl wants their penis to grow?!
Not this girl, and not any girl.
Dr. McGinn: I think it's very
useful for patients to hear from
other patients and
not just hear from me.
If you're going back to
the bed and breakfast,
I'm sure you could talk
to some other patients,
get a little sense of what it's like.
So I've had two consultations
with two different doctors
who offered contrasting opinions.
And I don't know which
one I think is best for me.
Since they contradicted one another
I've become even more confused.
If only I was born with a vag*na.
Yeah. That would solve that problem.
Amen, sister.
[Laughter]
♪♪
Look how pretty these flowers are.
Hey, you don't get to
see fall very often.
That was, like, a full day at school.
[Sighs]
My parents and I definitely
have a lot to discuss
after this consultation with Dr. McGinn
because we just received
a lot of new information.
And it's really important
that we sit down and focus
on comprehending it all.
Jeanette: What about, like, the cream?
It just might stimulate
things, like growth.
I don't want testosterone in
my system, for obvious reasons.
I don't want to see penis development.
That's so...
Ugh. Ew.
Sure, I would get those benefits,
but I'm not taking that risk.
When it comes to this
testosterone cream,
I'm worried about the
secondary male characteristics,
like a deeper voice, beard, mustache,
all those things that
I've been trying to avoid.
[Sneezing]
She said orgasms are like sneezes.
[Laughter]
I guess that's the only way
to describe it for somebody
who hasn't had one.
[Laughter]
At some point I was, like,
I was ready to cover my ears.
I think we're realizing
you're kind of undeveloped
in terms of libido, right?
Because you were suppressed
so early, I don't know,
I just wonder how you feel about that.
Why do I care if I experience libido?
Once you have one,
you'll be like, "damn.
This is what I've been missing?"
[Chuckles]
I've thought about sex before.
There's thinking about
it and then there's, like,
an urgency to want to do it.
When it comes to
discussing sexual activity,
I think Jazz is very cerebral about it.
And I think when you
start talking about libido,
part of me wants Jazz to somehow
experience some of a libido.
So I don't know how we get there.
Viagra?
[Laughter]
I don't think that's
an appropriate course of action.
Greg: So how often
do you think about it?
Do I think about having sex?
Yeah.
- Like, once a day.
- Do you?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I think other kids think
about it, like, all day.
Even a lot of girls I
know, they think about it,
like, once every hour.
Apparently men think
about it once a minute
or something like that.
Once a minute?
[Laughter]
I'm sure I'll have a libido one day.
I'm in no rush.
Okay. Good. Like to hear that.
Bam.
I'm not worried about suppression
having long-term effects
on my sexual drive
because I know that once I fall in love
and I really admire
another individual that
I'm going to want to have sex with them.
What do you think was the
most unique information
that you learned today,
that you didn't know before?
I think the two-part surgery.
I knew nothing about that.
Did you guys?
I knew that some people had
to, but I didn't know why.
But I thought, like, she's
done procedures on other people
who were suppressed.
I guess they're not as suppressed...
She has. Five of them.
...but I thought she's done,
like, many more than that.
- And I don't...
- Five that had your situation.
This two-part surgery definitely
throws a wrench into things
because there's not tons and
tons of kids out there like Jazz.
And, you know, I wish there
had been a lot more before her
so this would be more routine.
You know, if there's somebody out there
that has more experience
with the suppressed teens,
it might be a way to go.
But I don't know if there is,
we're just learning right now.
It's just a lot to
think about, you know?
Okay. Well, we don't need
to make any decision today.
We're just... obviously we're
going to do more research.
Why did I have to be so suppressed?
♪♪
What was the most painful part?
When you get done with the surgery,
it's going to be a lot of pain.
It's going to be hard to walk.
It's going to be hard
to go to the bathroom.
For me, it was the worst pain
I have ever felt in my life.
Really?!
♪♪
- Hello.
- Hi.
Kita: You must be Jazz.
So you guys are Kita and Kayley?
- Yes.
- Well...
Or Kita? Oh.
[Laughter]
I got the wrong... sorry.
Jazz: Dr. McGinn put me in
touch with Kayley and Kita,
who have completed the bottom surgery.
And it's a great opportunity
because this procedure is a huge deal.
And you want to hear what
happened to other people
before it happens to you.
How are you feeling?
Especially after this,
about where you're leaning?
Are you sure that you're
going to do the surgery, or...?
I definitely want to do the surgery.
I just don't know the logistics, still.
So what was the most painful part?
Like, before surgery, after
surgery, during surgery, what?
When you get done with the surgery,
it's going to be a lot of pain.
For me, it was the worst pain
I have ever felt in me life.
- Really?!
- It's going to be hard to walk.
It's going to be hard
to go to the bathroom.
Everything is going to
be supremely difficult.
If I were to give Jazz any advice,
it's really just to stay strong.
There are going to be times
where she's going to want
to give up but if this is
something that she wants to do,
she's really going to be grateful.
It's just going to be
a blip on the radar,
and she'll barely even remember it.
The first time you saw it, how was it?
It was kind of...
I was so scared to see it.
Really?
Well, because it's a surgical site,
so it's, like, I don't want to look.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
Yeah, but see, that
doesn't bother me at all.
- Yeah.
- So, like, "oh, cool."
I thought it looked like
Frankenstein, my franken-vag*na.
- I did feel like franken...
- Right?
Franken-vag*na.
[Laughter]
Those are your battle scars. You know?
Yeah.
You'll always be like,
"look what I did," you know?
Exactly.
Jazz: I definitely am
concerned about the scarring.
I'm hoping that it
won't have a major impact
on the way my vag*na looks
because I want something
that is beautiful,
and it's a part of my body.
If you could choose
how a part of your body
is going to look like,
wouldn't you want it
to look pretty good?
Before I had my surgery, I knew
myself, who I am, what I am.
But I still didn't have that confidence
because I'd always feel
like, "is bulge showing?
Why are people looking at me?"
But after my surgery, I had
this kind of sense of clarity
that enabled me to do
so many more things that I
normally would have not done.
Like wear leggings.
Yeah.
Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
[Laughter]
Jazz: Everyday things could become
major dysphoria for transgender people.
I mean, I have problems when
it comes to peeing in public.
I always think about if my pee pattern
sounds different from
the female pee pattern
because it kind of is,
like, more of a trinkle
instead of a steady stream.
So I'm always like, "oh, no.
I wonder if anyone notices
that I have a male pee pattern."
Anyway, it's just these little
things that really matter
and would make it easier
if I had the female anatomy.
One thing I was curious
about at the consultation
was the libido...
- Mm-hmm.
- ...like, how that changes
throughout the experience?
I think it depends on the person, too,
because, like, for me, when
I started taking hormones,
it definitely went, "blah."
Having experienced a sexual relationship
before I transitioned and
now one after the transition,
it's definitely different.
If you're not having
orgasms prior to the surgery,
its going to be harder
to have them after.
Well, how will I know if
it's hard or easy for me
if I haven't had the
chance to experience it?
Only one way to find out.
No, girl.
[Laughter]
Just kidding. Just kidding.
When you're having an
orgasm, it's pretty obvious
because, especially
if you haven't had one
before, like, you can't miss it.
Right.
It's, like, "turn off to
the side. You can't miss it."
"You can't miss it." Right.
[Laughter]
Wow.
Yeah, so you'll know. Trust us.
- You will know.
- Okay.
Jazz: Who knows what
it's going to be like?
But I definitely feel like sex
is a big part of relationships.
And once I have the vag*na,
I could visualize and feel,
sensationalize what it
may be like to have sex.
Kita: You know, a lot of girls,
they think getting a vag*na
is going to be the fix
for a lot of the problems
that they're having.
It's like, "oh, my god.
If I just get this sex change,
it's going to fix everything."
And it's not.
When you go through the surgery, yes,
physically change, you change.
But as a person, you're still you.
You're still Jazz.
You know, I definitely
appreciate all the advice
you guys had to offer.
We don't want you to be scared of it.
We want you to go into it educated.
Exactly. And knowing what you
can and can't expect, so...
Yeah, yeah.
Jazz: Knowing that I am one
of the first transgender youths
to get a lot of these
procedures done is scary
because we don't have
this history to draw upon.
So I feel like I still
need to do more research,
but I also know that
trying these new things
helps people who follow after me.
So I'm willing to pave the way
for the future vaginas of America.
[Laughs]
But it is a pretty magical surgery.
I will say that.
Awesome.
♪♪
Jazz: Next time on "I Am Jazz"...
We got to start planning
out Jazz's birthday.
[Cheers and applause]
- How old are you?
- .
[Laughter]
Jeanette: After having met
with Dr. Reed and Dr. McGinn,
I'm more confused than ever.
So we just came from a
doctor who was very confident
that she could do the penile
skin inversion technique.
I was somewhat surprised
to hear that someone
would offer her penile
skin inversion technique.
I don't think she has so many
options for this operation.
All right.
Jazz: My mom is trying to
force me into more therapy,
and it's really annoying.
You think some random
individual who doesn't even
know who I am internally
will have the answers
to my questions?
No!
She's going to therapy.
No choice. That's it.
03x03 - Getting to the Bottom of It
Watch/Buy Amazon
"I Am Jazz" focuses on a family and their day-to-day lives as their transgender daughter, who is about to go into high school, grapples with the usual teen angst in addition to her own challenges.
"I Am Jazz" focuses on a family and their day-to-day lives as their transgender daughter, who is about to go into high school, grapples with the usual teen angst in addition to her own challenges.