All right, periscope down.
All right.
There we go.
And periscope up!
Up!
Eh, this one's
a little tight.
Hey, give me some torque.
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
That's righty-tighty.
I want to go lefty-loosey.
Oh, sorry.
I got it.
Ah. I was just wondering
how many men it takes
to change a lightbulb.
Oh. Aah.
Jim, I-I don't know
if I can do this times.
I don't think
my back can take it.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
My back just popped.
Just relax.
You sat on a lightbulb.
Oh.
Oh, my god!
I just sat on a lightbulb!
Well, Cheryl, look at you.
Where are you going,
all aerodynamic and sexy?
Jim, you ask me that
every time I go to yoga.
Yoga?
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
You're going to yoga again?
That's the third time
this week.
What can I say? I like it.
How can you like yoga?
It's so creepy.
Oh, it is not.
Sure, it is. It's contortionists
with weird music.
No.
It's like a circus,
cobras comin' out of baskets.
Uh, guys, I can't find
the lightbulb.
Cheryl, why do you
have to go so often?
Daniel says three times a week
is the optimal amount of study.
Okay, are you confused
by the name Daniel
or the word "optimal"?
I know what "optimal" means.
Use it in a sentence.
Optimal--the optimal amount of
children in a family is three.
You stuck me with five.
Optimal.
Look, honey,
yoga is important to me.
Daniel thinks I'm ready to take
my practice to a deeper level.
Well, all right.
I will acquiesce
due to your intractability.
I knew that word-a-day calendar
was a mistake.
Mmm.
Mwah.
Oh, thank god. Found it.
Andy, I don't get
this yoga thing at all.
I mean, come on,
what does it even mean,
"take my practice
to a deeper level"?
I don't know, but it sounds
like this Daniel
wants to take something else
to a deeper level.
Please, I'm not gonna be
jealous of some skinny guy
who talks in a funny accent
wearin' diapers.
Jim, she's not studying
with Gandhi.
All these yoga guys
are all cut and buff now.
Huh?
And there's a lot of touching
and repositioning of poses.
How would you know that?
I've observed
a lot of yoga classes.
I can't hear what they're
saying through my binoculars,
but it looks very sensual.
All right, periscope down.
All right, yeah.
You're right.
You have nothing
to worry about.
So what if she's seeing this
Daniel three times a week
for six weeks...
Wearing nothing
but skintight clothes...
Gettin' all sweaty
and out of breath?
Ruby, I want you to stay home
and watch the kids.
I'll be back in an hour.
Wait. But I have to go meet
my math tutor at the library.
What's times ?
?
Close enough.
♪♪♪
Om...
Om...
Breathe into your center,
releasing all of your energy
as you exhale.
Om...
Good, good.
One more deep breath.
Om...
Hey, you got room
for two more people?
Om...
My god.
Over here.
Here.
Om...
Om...
And down dog.
And back
into up dog.
How much longer?
I'm waiting to see
if he gets to horndog.
Feel the energy flow,
Cheryl.
Oh...
Oh, that does feel better.
What's he touching?
I can't see.
I can't see his hands.
And into down dog.
What the hell?
What are you,
standing in a creek?
I'm sweating a little.
That all came out of you?
I think I see a trout.
I don't think
I'm gonna be able
to return the yoga outfit.
Okay,
into warrior ii.
Pardon me.
Ooh.
Uh, excuse me,
excuse me.
Do you mind if I lie down
next to my wife
of years, children,
and , lightbulbs?
Namaste.
You're damn right
I'm gonna stay.
Jim, what are you doing?
Yoga.
You know, you kept talking
about how great Daniel is.
I just wanted to
check it out for myself.
I don't think there's room
for you up here.
Oh, Cheryl, if there's room
in the universe,
there's room
in our class.
Right.
I like that.
Very spiritual.
All right, toots,
shove over.
You're in my Lane here.
Come on, move it.
Move it, move it, move it.
Move, move, move.
Now moving
into warrior III.
Hey, Cheryl,
I just bowled a .
Oh!
Aah!
I just made the spare.
Try not to embarrass me.
I find that...
Very insulting.
All right, everyone,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
Let's get
into the half-moon pose.
Half-moon?
Seriously?
All right, let me know
when I'm halfway down.
No, no, no, no,
Jim, Jim.
What?
That's not what it means.
Stop it.
Wow.
Where have you
studied before?
No, this is
my first class.
You're off
to a great start.
Okay, I get it.
Sarcasm.
No, I'm serious.
You're really good
at this.
Okay, that's sarcasm.
You're a natural.
Sarcasm?
All right,
back heel down.
Okay.
There. Straighten out
those hips.
Whoo, easy there,
baby.
All right,
extend the arms.
That feels
really good.
Yeah, I'm releasing
your chakras.
Feel the energy flow.
I feel that.
I really do.
Hey, Cheryl,
I got chakras.
Yeah.
Hey, Daniel.
Any chance you got
a pair of swim goggles?
I'm getting a little...
Water in the eye.
Oh, Cheryl...
I feel great.
Oh! I feel great, too.
We feel great together.
How often does that happen?
Well...
Oh, besides that.
Never.
You know, I really thought
you were gonna hate yoga.
Hate yoga? Jeez.
What would make you
say something like that?
Well, yesterday you called it
"twister in diapers."
And then, this morning,
you said it was creepy.
Oh, Cheryl, come on,
I blame you for that.
What?
You told me it was all,
like, cobras and baskets.
You said that.
I don't think so.
What do you think
of Daniel, huh?
Oh, Daniel,
he is so cool.
How evolved is that guy?
His mind is so centered.
You--you know what
he said to me after class?
He said he could take
my practice to a deeper level.
I can't believe it.
Yeah.
After all this time,
we found something
we want to do together.
Yeah.
You know, Daniel leads
yoga retreats every year.
Well, that sounds great.
Everybody sleeps
in a yurt.
Yeah, that's great.
That--that gets great mileage.
No. No, honey...
A yurt
is a Mongolian hut.
Okay, okay,
tell me, tell me,
when is the next class?
Tuesday. I can't go.
The kids' checkups.
Oh...
Too bad.
What time Tuesday?
: , but...
I mean, you're not gonna go
by yourself, are you?
This is our together thing,
right?
Please.
I would never do...
A together thing...
Without you.
Aw.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Mmm...
Hi, Daniel.
Hi, Jim.
Where's Cheryl?
Oh, Cheryl?
Uh, I don't know.
Sick kids or something.
Can I lead the "om"?
If you'd like.
Om...
Om...
Om...
All right, one more.
Deep in...
Om...
Om...
Om...
One last one,
please, Jim.
Om...
Oh, hey, rube,
I need you to watch your
brother, sister and the babies.
Your dad and I
are taking a yoga class.
What? That's three times
this week.
And I know that "yoga"
means you two
are sneaking off someplace
to hook up.
Oh, no. No, we're not.
We're really going to yoga.
It's something special
that your dad and I do together.
We may even go
on a retreat.
Okay, but if you two
make another baby,
I'm not taking care
of it.
Cheryl, Cheryl, what do you
think the ladies will do
when they see
my new soul patch?
It's just like Daniel's.
I see some dirt there.
Why do you want
to look like Daniel?
Well, he thinks
if he looks like Daniel,
he'll get the girls
like Daniel.
Oh.
When the ponytail comes in,
everyone will say,
"hey, why is Daniel trying
to look like Andy?"
When your ponytail comes in,
they'll all be saying,
"hey, who's the sweaty girl?"
Shut up!
Namaste.
So are you ready
for some Daniel tonight?
Yes, I certainly am.
I am so glad
you did the laundry
because I need
my special yoga shorts.
Oh, honey, I washed 'em
yesterday.
They're in your drawer.
That's right. That's right.
That's where they are.
That's exactly where they are.
Wait a minute, Jim.
Mm-hmm.
These are your yoga shorts.
What are they doing
in the dirty laundry?
Oh, these are Kyle's.
These are Kyle's?
Yeah, he's been
eating a lot lately.
You went to Daniel's class
without me.
No, baby, no, no.
I can explain.
All right, go ahead.
I just went once.
Oh, no.
Twice.
Jim, that--that's
our together thing.
Five times this week.
Oh, no.
Two times on Monday,
plus a private lesson.
I can't believe--
and we went for some, uh,
chai tea and some wheatgrass.
I can't believe
you would do that to me.
How could you?
Okay, Cheryl,
Cheryl, Cheryl.
I'm sensing
that you're upset.
Listen, breathe with me.
What are you doing?
I'm exhaling
the negative energy
that you've been
filling the room with.
I filled the room with?
Yes, Daniel says
this is the best way
to stay calm
during times of stress.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
You don't quote Daniel
to me.
From now on,
Daniel is my yoga teacher.
I thought we could share him,
but I was wrong.
I want him all to myself.
Oh, Cheryl, you sadden me.
Don't you realize that
like the swan on the water,
you can visit the sky...
But you cannot possess it?
What?
Daniel's mine, blondie!
b*at it!
b*at it!
We'll see about that.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Jim?
Oh.
Hello, Cheryl.
I thought I told you
Daniel was mine.
And I thought you heard me
when I said...
All right, everyone,
let's start class
with a little deep breathing
in the child's pose.
Ooh, child's pose--
should be easy for you.
Master...
I put in
the relaxation cd.
Here is your chai tea.
And one of your pupils,
Vanessa,
is having a little trouble
in the corner.
May I adjust her?
Do not touch her.
Then why am I wearing
the robe?
I don't know.
No one wears a robe.
And you don't work here.
It is my honor
to simply serve.
Also, I ordered you
a Patty melt for lunch.
I don't eat meat.
Then it will be my honor
to eat it for you.
All right, everyone,
let's come to our feet
and get
to the tree pose.
Tree pose.
Relax your hips.
I sense some tension.
Well, no big surprise...
With her here.
My hips aren't tense,
are they, Daniel?
No, Cheryl, but remember,
we do yoga for our soul,
not our ego.
Yeah.
I'd rather have tense hips
than a big, fat ego.
It's pretty obvious
you have both.
Ow! Ow!
Oh, look,
Cheryl's tree has fallen.
Mm-hmm.
You, uh, look much better
close up
than you do
from across the street.
I'm sensing a lot of...
Negative energy
between the two of you today.
Frankly, it's starting
to piss me off.
He ruins everything.
Uh, look, wh-why don't you
just choose, Daniel,
between the two of us?
Yeah.
I can't do that.
Somebody has
to decide something.
Why don't we talk
about this outside?
Pose-off!
Ha! Winner gets Daniel!
Hey, everybody,
there's gonna be a pose-off!
No! No. No pose-off.
I can handle this,
Daniel.
He doesn't even
work here.
Just drink your chai tea.
All right, everybody,
push it back!
Safety first, please!
Set the mats up correctly.
International federation
rules apply.
Jim will start.
, , , , ...
Pose it!
Chair pose!
Easy. Go!
All right,
go, Cheryl!
Shoulderstand!
Shoulderstand. Easy.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Whoa. Yes?
Whoo!
Beautiful! Go!
Go, Cheryl!
All right, Cheryl!
Happy baby!
Adorable.
Next!
Wheel!
Ha!
I can't believe what I just saw!
Next!
Crow!
Oh.
Do you believe
in miracles?
Next!
Oh, ho-ho!
Headstand.
Ooh.
Yes?
Oh!
Cheryl wins! Cheryl wins!
It's a madhouse!
Time-out, time-out.
Ha! In your face!
All right!
Daniel's mine!
Daniel's mine!
Inner peace and eternal light
are mine!
Are mine! Are mine!
Are mine! Ha!
All right, you win, you win,
you win, you win,
you win, you win!
All right, all right,
the both of you,
just get out of here!
What?
You heard me.
You're both nuts.
Well, I thought you said
we should be accepting
of all people.
Yes, everyone!
Except you.
Now get out of here,
and take rajiv with you.
Who?
Rajiv!
Oh, uh...
Can you, uh,
give me a minute, master?
I'm this close
to a trikonasana
with these two, huh?
What happened to us?
Cheryl,
it is like the egret
that builds a nest
in the tall grass--
really, Jim,
are you gonna do that?
I don't know
what happened.
We have looked
our whole marriage
for something
we could do together.
We--we--we finally find it,
and within five minutes,
we wrecked it--
wrecked it!
All right, all right,
all right, look,
to be fair,
I didn't wreck it.
I hogged it.
You wrecked it.
But why?
When this whole thing started,
yoga was just this special thing
that was just for me.
I know. That's why
I wanted it.
That doesn't make
any sense.
Sure it makes sense,
Cheryl.
My whole life,
I've always had to fight
for everything that I have.
Honey...
Look...
I grew up in a family
that hid toys
from each other...
Food...
And sometimes dad.
So, honey,
it really freaks me out
when you're doing something
that's not about me.
So then you either
take it for yourself
or ruin it for me?
Well,
there's a third option.
I ruin it for everybody.
Oh, honey. Honey.
What?
That is the most terrible,
tragic thing I've ever heard.
Ah, it's...
It's a quirk.
No, honey, it--
it's not a quirk.
You're a damaged,
deeply scarred person.
I know.
Quirky.
So... as long
as we're married,
I can never have anything
that's just for me?
You can have
whatever you want...
As long as I hate it
and know I don't want it.
Okay, um...
It's healthy for our marriage
to have separate interests,
and we're not afraid
to give each other space.
Very good.
Huh.
You've just made great advice
out of my quirkiness.
Oh, sweetheart,
Andy's quirky.
You need treatment.
Hey, everybody! Huh!
Yoga retreat at rajiv's,
so grab your mats
and let's chaturanga.
Ha ha!
Oh!
If either of them ask,
you've seen me
levitate once.
Can I at least
still do yoga?
As long as it's
a woman yoga instructor...
Okay.
And I don't like her.
Okay.