04x13 - Who Do You Trust?

[bunniefuu]

Okay.

Thanks. See you tomorrow.

Bye.

That'll be a buck 50.

Oh, and uh, I need a pack of those.

Light or regular?

-Regular. -Light.

Regular.

$5.75.

Hey!

Matches?

Thanks.

Man, that was too easy.

Mustard?

Mayo?

Pickles!

Bread.

You know, I'm-I'm really not hungry.

Come on, it's your favorite.

Meat between two pieces of meat, garnished with... meat.

Why are you being so nice to me?

No reason.

Oh, and I finished your laundry; it's all folded and in the basket.

Pity laundry, is that it?

-No. -Just because Shana went to New York doesn't mean we've broken up.

I know.

It's gonna work out.

You bet it is.

Hey, Matt, how's it going?

Oh, put a sock in it.

There's no way he and Shana are going to make this long-distance thing work. -Come on, they could.

Not a chance.

No way.

What is this?

Put it back-- it's Ruthie's science experiment.

Is it edible?

If you give Ruthie a dollar, she'll tell you.

I'm not giving Ruthie a dollar.

Thanks.

So, are you... you doing okay with everything?

If, "everything" means Shana, I'm doing just fine.

All right, but if you want to talk, I'm here.

Dad, Shana didn't die; She went away to school.

I'm fine, really.

Shana didn't call yesterday.

Oh.

It was her turn.

That's the first time that's happened.

I didn't know any of this.

Maybe Matt just doesn't want to tell you that stuff.

Why would that be?

I don't know; sometimes kids just don't want their parents to know stuff.

They have their reasons.

Like you have your reasons for not wanting to tell us what your science experiment is?

Exactly.

So, can I ask you something?

Sure.

You growing a mustache?

Finally, somebody noticed.

How long you been growing it?

About three months.

Cool.

So, do you think we can get anyone else to, uh, sell us cigarettes?

Oh, yeah.

I can't believe we're doing this.

Are we really doing this?

We have to.

So, what's the deal?

I haven't asked them yet.

Come on, this "in home" dating is driving me crazy.

You have to get permission for us to go out.

Look, I am doing everything humanly possible to appear to be the most responsible teenager in the world.

It's not you, it's me they don't trust.

No, they like you.

Maybe, but, they still don't trust me.

Hey, I just got a great idea.

Would they let us go out if we double dated?

It would have to be someone my parents knew really really well.

What about your sister Lucy?

Lucy?

What?

We could fix her up with my brother Rick.

No, you couldn't.

That's a great idea!

What's a great idea?

No, you couldn't.

Well, yeah, my brother Rick's right here, and he says he'd love to take Lucy out.

I didn't say that.

That's great.

I'm sure Lucy will be into it, too.

Okay, bye.

What will I be into, too?

Never mind.

Are Simon and Nigel back from their bike ride yet?

Do you think I'm a good listener?

Did you hear what I just asked you?

Did you hear me when I asked you to run downstairs and get me a couple of diapers?

I'll get the diapers.

I got 'em.

Who can watch TV with all the yakking?

Thanks.

So, can I ask you guys something?

Could Robbie and I go out on a real date if we double with Lucy and his brother Rick?

Does Lucy want to go with Rick?

Rick who?

Robbie's brother.

I knew you were up to something.

I didn't want to ask you before I asked them.

Have you even met this guy?

No, but he's an honor student, he's never been in any trouble and he's really nice.

Nice?

-Great. -So can we?

Uh, couldn't they just go out alone?

Hey, either one, fine with me.

-I don't know... -It'll be just the four of us.

We'll go to an early movie.

Straight there, straight back.

Okay.

Straight there, straight back.

Thanks for asking me.

You weren't doing anything, were you?

I love you both very, very much.

Yes!

Come on, we had to trust her with Robbie sometime.

No, we don't.

I keep wanting to lock her up until she turns 21, but no...

And, for the record, I don't trust Robbie.

I'm still trying to trust her.

I'm cooking tonight... lasagna!

And the good news is, our neighbors are joining us.

Our female neighbors, our beautiful female neighbors.

And it won't be like it's a date, 'cause they're our neighbors.

Angela and Barbara, the girls next door and up a floor-- new in the building.

And they are a perfect match for us.

I met my perfect match, but she just happens to be in New York, and apparently unable to use the phone.

Okay, what I mean is, one woman is white and the other just happens to be of the African-American persuasion.

And they are both gorgeous.

Well, I'm not going to be here. I'm going to the library.

Oh, no, no, no.

You're going to be here, Gloomy Gus, because I told them you're gonna be here.

And you may not need a girlfriend, but I do.

I'm sorry I didn't call.

That's, that's okay, I-I... figured you were busy.

Actually, I was busy.

I aced my first big test in biochemistry and went out to celebrate with some people in my class.

Aah!

People.

How nice for you.

And we went down to Chinatown and ate forever and I didn't get back here until, like 4:00 in the morning, so I figured it was too late to call.

Yeah, that would've been a little late, only...

I was waiting for you to call!

It was your turn to call; I was worried about you.

You weren't worried, you were... you were jealous.

You know, I though we agreed that you wouldn't be jealous.

Especially since there is nothing to be jealous of.

Sorry.

It's okay.

So we're still friends?

Friends?!

I hope we're more than that.

That is not what I meant.

Then, what did you mean?

Oh, what I meant was that, I hope that no matter what happens, we will always be friends.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing, okay?

Nothing; it means nothing.

I have to go.

I love you.

Bye.

Uh, uh...

I was beginning to get worried about you guys.

We were playing.

Uh, yeah, playing.

Nigel and Simon just came home.

Something isn't right.

You thought they wouldn't come home?

You want me to go find out what it is?

Well, you can either snoop or cook.

I'm on my way.

I can't believe we pulled it off.

I can't either.

Hello?

Hi. This is Lucy Camden.

May I speak to Rick?

This is Rick.

Oh.

So, I guess we have a date tonight, huh?

Yeah, and I was wondering how you felt about being set up with me.

Because we don't have to do this, if you don't want to.

No, we have to go out or my brother would k*ll me.

I see.

Hey, Robbie told me how beautiful you are.

And I believe him, but I already have a girlfriend, kinda.

And it's not like it's a commitment or anything, but I called her and I told her that you and I going out is just a platonic thing.

Well, that's great that you're so honest, and it's great that it's just a platonic thing.

I mean, it certainly takes the pressure off.

Look, you sound really nice, and, up until a month ago, I...

Don't apologize.

You sound nice, too.

And we'll just go out and have a nice platonic time.

I'll see you tonight then.

Okay.

Whew...

I wish you had just busted them when you saw them with the cigarettes.

Come on, that would be so uninteresting.

Remember when I set up Matt with Mrs. Bink?

That was great-- that was one of my finest moments.

But that was different.

Matt was older and we knew he was smoking.

Simon and Nigel are probably only thinking about smoking.

But if we stop them before they try it, they'll only think about trying it again.

We don't know that.

Oh, I know that.

They... they want to try it.

I can see it in their faces.

Ruthie's science experiment?

Don't touch that!

Sorry.

Where's Simon and Nigel?

They're getting the boys.

Why are we eating in the kitchen?

Well, Mary and Lucy ate earlier, they're going out tonight.

Besides, it's so much more intimate in here.

It'll give us a chance to talk.

Okay, who's in trouble?

What makes you think anyone's in trouble?

Oh, yeah, someone's in trouble, big time.

Stop looking at each other.

You guys are giving me the creeps.

Stop.

Quit it.

Are you gonna put on a clean shirt?

I'm not trying to impress anybody, they're just neighbors, right?

Gorgeous neighbors, and I don't want the smell of your shirt to interfere with the smell of our dinner, so change.

Now, how about putting on a fresh attitude to match that spiffy shirt?

Don't push it.

I'm just not feeling very sociable, okay?

I'm not happy.

Could you fake it, just for me?

You're very lonely best friend?

You know how mad you are at Shana?

Well, I'm going to be twice that mad at you, if you mess up my evening.

I-I don't care!

Oh, come on, please.

Come on, Matt, come on.

Please.

I was, uh, pretty subtle at dinner, huh?

You know, my plan to get Simon and Nigel to confess about the cigarettes.

Oh, you mean, um, telling them that confession is good for the soul and then asking them pointed questions about smoking, that's all part of your "subtle" plan?

Was it also part of your plan to make them feel so uncomfortable that they left the table before finishing their dinner.

Okay... I can't take it.

I feel so guilty.

Can't take what?

The questions-- no more questions.

I confess.

I didn't mean to break the china box on your dresser, but I did.

Are you happy now, Mr. Question Man?

Uh...

You broke my china box?

Two months ago.

Sorry, I tried to glue it back together.

You're right, confession is good.

I feel much better now.

Just because the wrong kid confessed doesn't mean your plan is bad.

Rick and Robbie.

-I'll get it. -Be nice.

I'll try.

What do you mean the wrong kid confessed?

You didn't know I broke that box, did you?

So I just confessed for nothing?

And I'm going to get punished.

I'm afraid so.

So, I hear you're a National Merit Finalist.

Yes, sir.

Rick's always been the smart one in the family.

That's not true.

Robbie always made good grades until...

He was arrested?

My mom just told us you were here.

Oh, that's okay, we've been getting acquainted.

Haven't we, boys?

Mom, Lucy, this is Rick.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Camden.

Wow!

Excuse me?

I'm sorry. Hi.

Uh, would anyone like a drink?

Uh, no thanks, we don't drink.

Oh, you meant, uh... no, no, thanks.

You know, we really don't have time for anything, anyway.

Let's go.

Where are you going?

To a movie.

-Oh. -Which one?

Just some old western.

Yeah, at that artsy place where they have, uh, dollar movies.

We're kind of on a budget.

And kind of on a schedule.

Do you mind? Let's go.

We won't be late.

No, you won't.

You could be a little nicer to Robbie.

Why?

So, you need anything from the store?

How are you going to follow Mary and Lucy, Simon and Nigel on the same night?

I can do it.

But why would you want to?

Hey, don't ruin a perfectly good night of spying on the kids with logic.

Okay.

I'm hungry.

Yeah, me too.

Next time we hide out from your dad, remember to bring some food.

I don't feel right about this.

I mean, if we tell our parents that we're investigating people who sell cigarettes to minors, as a school project, they're never gonna let us keep doing it.

We just need one more day.

We need more than two lousy purchases for a report.

I don't want a C.

So...

...you ever, you know?

Ruthie and I tried it.

I got sick, really sick.

Yeah, Lynn and I tried it. We got sick too.

But I was just a kid.

What?

You know... we could smoke one-- just one-- and then we could write a paper on what made us try smoking and how awful it is.

But, if we smoke, we'll get in trouble.

We're already in trouble.

Well, I don't know, I mean...

What if we actually like it and become addicted.

That'd be an A-plus guaranteed.

Especially if it comes down to wearing the patch or chewing that gum.

We might even get to testify before Congress.

No. We can't.

It's wrong.

Want to know what's in there?

Uh, yes, I do.

Is it worth a buck to you?

I was just trying to decide that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wha... There's nobody listening.

In this house? Get real.

Well.

That's very good.

You like it?

I love it.

What do you love?

Um, Ruthie's science experiment.

-You wanna know what's in here? -Yes.

My treat.

Oh, that's very good.

No, maybe, like that's the best science experiment I've ever heard of.

Hey, are you having trouble getting them to sleep? -Yeah.

-'Cause you know what's good for that? -What?

A ride in the car.

Would you like to take them for a little ride?

Oh, like maybe to the, uh, artsy movie theatre to spy on Mary and Lucy.

No, I'd rather give them a bottle instead.

I feel like going for a ride.

-I could really use your help with the boys. -Fine.

The second floor of the house is an interesting place, too.

Yes, it is.

You know, you either trust Mary and Robbie or you don't.

Oh.

I think I'll take a walk.

Uh, oh, in the meantime, if you smell smoke, wait for me.

Still at it?

Oh, yeah.

And the movie hasn't even started yet.

It's a little embarrassing.

I mean, what exactly are they gonna do when the lights go out?

Good point.

You know, those two are exactly what I was expecting, but you... I don't know, I thought a girl who builds houses was gonna be a big clunker, carry a hammer or something.

I have a power sander in my purse.

I just mean, if I knew girls like you worked for the Habitat project, I'd build houses, too.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

So why don't you have a boyfriend?

I had a boyfriend last year.

What happened to him?

We broke up.

Who broke up with whom?

I broke up with him.

Did he do something wrong?

No. I just realized I didn't care about him as much as he did about me, and I thought it wasn't fair to him, so I ended it.

I like that. I like that a lot.

I respect honesty.

You had enough?

Let's go sit outside and talk.

Look alive now; look alive.

Look conscious. Can you do that?

Oh, welcome.

Come in. Come in.

Thanks for coming.

It's nothing.

We just walked down the stairs.

No effort's too small.

I hope we're not too early.

We could smell the food all the way up on the fourth floor and we're both starving.

You're not early at all.

Actually, you're right on time.

Angela, Barbara, this is my roommate Matt.

It's nice to meet you.

I always wanted a steady girlfriend, but, tonight, I wish I didn't even have one.

Why?

Because, right now, I'd like to kiss you.

I guess your girlfriend wouldn't go for that.

Probably not.

But what if I kissed you?

You mean, without my knowing about it?

What?

That didn't even make sense, did it?

Are you sure it was Lucy?

Oh, it was Lucy, all right.

They were just making out, just right there on the street.

They don't even know each other.

She just met him.

Frankly, this is not the kind of behavior I would expect from a National Merit Finalist.

What?

Oh, is that the "This is what I get for spying on my kids" look?

I can only guess where the other two were.

They were probably watching the movie.

Oh, right.

Why is that so hard to believe?

If the younger brother has the nerve to make out with Lucy, right on a public street, then it scares me to think what the brother who was arrested is capable of.

You're out of your mind-- you know that, don't you?

Maybe, but it doesn't make me wrong about this.

That would be my son and his friend, who are also up to no good tonight.

Where have you two been?

Yes, you. Where have you been?

They've been out in the garage.

I asked them to take something out for me.

Oh.

What?

You sent them to the garage?

I mean, that's practically inviting them to light up.

I choose to trust; to believe that our son and his friend have a good reason that explains why they have cigarettes.

Like... they smoke?

I don't think they smoke.

You probably don't think Lucy was making out with a guy she just met, either.

No, that I believe, because she's done it before.

Remember, about two years ago, I caught her and Keesha making out with a couple of boys at the movies?

No, I... I don't remember.

I thought I told you.

You didn't.

I guess I forgot.

You didn't forget to tell me Simon smokes, did you?

When Mary asked to go to the dollar movie tonight, didn't it occur to you that all she wants to do is be alone with Robbie?

We've got to hope that we have raised our daughters well enough that they're not doing anything more than kissing.

But I think we have to expect the kissing.

You're not upset about this, are you.

I'm not thrilled, but I am not going to drive myself crazy.

They've got to make their own decisions.

We can't make their decisions for them.

I'm going to go for another walk.

No, you're not.

Now, you're getting yourself all worked up.

You gotta take a few minutes, calm down, relax and get some perspective.

You're right.

But if my daughters aren't back in this house in an hour, I'm going to...

I just wasn't prepared, that's all.

I mean, I knew she was going, but I wasn't prepared for how lonely I'd feel, and now I'm just a mess.

You can say that again.

Now I can't concentrate at school, I'm depressed at work...

Well, working in a hospital can be depressing.

I don't know how you do it; working in a life-and- death environment every day.

You are very brave.

Oh, come on, it's not like he's healing the critically ill.

He wears a hairnet and serves Jell-O.

Well, maybe you'd all feel better if you ate something.

I can't eat.

I don't have an appetite.

Me neither.

When you guys first got here, you were starving-- what happened?

What is it?

It's just that Shana used to wear jeans.

I'm gonna k*ll him.

We almost got caught.

Yeah, now I want to do it worse than before, even though I know it's wrong.

Now, just remember, we're already in trouble.

Right.

What's this?

That's my science experiment, so don't open it.

If you pay her, she'll tell you what it is.

Why don't we just open the bag?

Oh, you don't want to do that.

How much?

One dollar.

That's a good one.

Forget it. Nigel will tell me.

No, I won't.

Where's Mary?

Uh, she stopped by the restroom...

to comb her hair.

Pardon us for a second, will you?

What have you been doing out here?

She kissed me.

What happened to platonic?

We were just experimenting with what happens when friends kiss friends.

I'll tell you what happens.

Her father kills you, that's what happens.

Friends don't kiss friends.

No, friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Not funny.

You two look like lovers, which means we look like dead meat when we take them home.

She's cute, huh?

What happened to you?

Nothing.

You want to go freshen up?

No, let's go.

Remember, straight here, straight back, just like we promised.

I think that it's all going to work out.

True, long-distance relationships are hard.

But not when the guy is honest and, and vulnerable and so out there with his feelings like you.

A girl would have to be crazy not to find a way to make a relationship work with you.

Say, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure. Excuse me.

What do you think you're doing?!

You've got both women! That's so unfair!

I'm not doing anything.

You're ruining the entire evening for me.

I haven't even gotten anywhere near Angela.

-I think you're overreacting. -Oh, yeah?

Well, the only way I can compete with you and your sad tale is if... oh, there's no way to compete with you, because you've got 'em eating out of your hand.

What do you want me to do?

Leave! I want you to leave.

We better get it; it might be Shana.

Hello?

I must have the wrong number.

Is this Shana?

Yes, who's this?

Are you looking for Matt?

Um, yeah.

Well, he's right here, hold on.

-It's Shana. -Yeah.

Hey.

Don't "hey" me.

Who was that, and how does she know about me?

I smell smoke.

Yeah, cigarette smoke.

Someone's gonna get in trouble.

Simon and Nigel?

Well, we better say goodnight here So I guess I won't be calling you, since we're just friends.

Right. But if you ever do need a friend...

I'll know who to call.

I had a great time.

Goodnight.

I'll see you later.

Hey, there!

How was your date?

It was great.

Thank you for letting me go out.

And your date?

It was okay.

Just okay?

What's wrong?

Yeah, what's up?

I think Lucy knows what's up, because I think we all know what you were doing tonight, and it wasn't watching a movie, was it?

What were you doing, spying on me?

I wasn't spying I just happened to walk by and...

You were spying on me.

Unbelievable.

I feel so...

How could you spy on me?

He wasn't spying on you, he was spying on me-- weren't you, Dad?

Okay, I was curious and concerned so I just took a walk by the movie theater and...

Spied on us?

You are never going to trust me again no matter what I do, are you?

And you have no reason not to trust me.

Except that this is not the first time that you've been caught making out in public with a guy you just met.

What?

You know what we're talking about.

That guy uh, Keesha fixed you up with a couple of years ago?

Oh... yeah.

Yeah, but that was different.

How?

I don't know, but it just was.

Do you smell smoke?

Oh. Cigarette smoke.

You.

We figured if we told you we were buying cigarettes you wouldn't let us buy any more and our project would be ruined.

If you knew we wouldn't approve, maybe it wasn't the best project to do.

But we did show how easy it is for kids to buy cigarettes.

What were you planning to do if you got caught buying cigarettes?

The person selling us cigarettes gets in trouble, not us.

You guys didn't do your research.

It's a $75 fine and 30 hours of community service for minors caught buying cigarettes.

Yeah, I checked it out when Matt made his little venture into the world of tobacco a few years back.

Besides that, you're saying you're willing to let the guy who sold you the cigarettes get into legal trouble just so you can get a good grade on your social studies project?

But those people are k*lling us by selling us cigarettes.

Not us, technically, but kids who smoke.

It's a very interesting project, but it's also a project that could have had some serious consequences for other people as well as for you two.

And who wants to tell me how actually smoking the cigarettes you bought fits in? Mmm.

Uh, we were expanding the project.

You know, going from the thrill of buying the ill*gal product, to the thrill of smoking it.

Plus, when you make something so bad, it makes it irresistible, too.

Yeah, it was like, once we had the cigarettes, we couldn't help ourselves, we had to smoke.

Even knowing all we know about smoking and, and how bad it is.

Sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I'm afraid if you actually turn in your project you could make yourself vulnerable to prosecution, not to mention whatever punishment we come up with.

Maybe you could talk to Sergeant Michaels and the police could use what we have, and we could be part of a sting or something.

You have to be 15 to participate in a sting and have the permission of your parents, which, you don't.

So um, no sting.

No more cigarettes.

I'm afraid you're going to have to throw out your project and start over.

Is that our punishment?

What do you think?

What are we going to do?

The project is due at the end of the week.

Maybe you'd like to buy my science experiment and use it.

I'm not gonna pay you for something when I don't even know what it is.

It is pretty good.

Real good.

Extremely good.

Okay, what is it?

One dollar please.

Ever heard of alchemy?

Turning ordinary substances into gold?

That's not possible.

Sure it is.

Straw.

Gold.

I'm good.

Yes, you are.

Outwitted by an eight year-old.

Ow!

What was that for?

Mom and Dad don't trust me because you were making out with Rick. Thanks.

Maybe someone should have mentioned what I looked like, and then they wouldn't of known anything.

I asked you if you wanted to freshen up.

The correct phrasing would have been, "Lucy, would you like to freshen up, because you look like you've been sucking face all night."

Oh, except that all the freshening in the world wouldn't have helped since Dad saw you.

You were kissing, too.

Robbie and I have known each other for months.

Maybe so, but Rick and I were like PG.

You and Robbie were...

...well, you weren't PG and I don't think Mom and Dad, would have been happy if they would have seen you.

Which is why I don't make out on street corners.

And Mom and Dad are not stupid.

They don't think that I am dying to get out of the house with Robbie just so we can hold hands and watch a stupid old Western movie.

So...

...how do you think we should punish Simon?

Well, maybe we should fine them, make them do community service, like if they had been caught. -Mmm.

That is, of course if the Hamiltons agree.

But we should also take into consideration that they were just trying to get a good grade.

Do you think that's all they were doing, or do you think they just found out a convenient way to justify the thrill of buying and trying cigarettes?

What happened to trusting our kids?

I don't know.

I think maybe it's just a phase I'm going through.

Maybe it's just a phase they're going through.

-Hmm? -Mm.

Hmm? Hmm?

I don't like not being trusted.

I know what you mean.

I don't like not being trusted either.

I guess the thing to do is to win back their trust.

You're right.

Do you think I can trust Robbie?

His brother certainly is honest.

Honest?

He told his girlfriend he was going out with you as a friend, and then the two of you made out all night.

We made out as friends.

You know, maybe we should start an honesty program.

We could start by telling ourselves the truth.

Okay.

I liked kissing Rick.

It was fun.

And at the same time, I felt guilty and a little ashamed of myself because he cheated on his girlfriend, and I don't think women should do that to each other.

There was just some thrill in it at the time.

Your turn.

The truth is, I don't know why, but I don't really trust Robbie.

Wow.

Why?

I don't know.

Just a gut feeling.

A gut feeling I'm trying really hard to ignore for now.

Hey!

I've been looking for you.

I'll catch up with you later.

Thanks for making me go out.

Yeah, you're welcome.

-Stop smiling. -I can't.

I've been waiting all night for you to get home. -I told you I was going out with my brother.

Just you and your brother?

Just me and Rick.

If I was going out with another woman, you think I'd be home this early?

What's the matter, baby?

Don't you trust me?

Wow, this evening went by so fast.

Sorry about dinner.

Don't worry about it.

How about to make up for tonight, we have you guys up to our apartment next week for dinner?

I'd really like that.

Count me in.

How about you?

Uh, sure, as long as I'm not working.

With any luck he'll be working.

-Good night, guys. -Good night.

Man, you are hopeless.