03x01 - Fonzie Moves In

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Wake up, little Susie... ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

All right, you stay
up there, little ball

till I tell you to
come down here.

You're getting close
to the record, Fonz.

Hey, I can read.

Be careful, you'll tilt.

I'll tilt your face!

All right!

(all cheering)

You tell Arnold to get
a new machine in here.

That one is whipped.

Can I have your
free games, Fonz?

FONZIE: Hey, the
machine is closed.

Who's the old lady?

That old lady happens
to be my grandmother.

What about it?

Charming woman.

Did you enjoy the game, Grandma?

I sure did.

Can we go home now?

Oh, yeah, why don't you go
outside and start up my bike?

Sure thing!

Hey, uh, don't forget
to wear your helmet.

All right!

I never knew you had
a grandmother, Fonz.

Everybody's got a grandma.

Now, I haven't seen her
since I was six years old.

That's when I left the house.

She's been, uh... staying
with me for a while.

Oh, you been
showing her the sights?

Yeah, we saw the brewery.

(engine revving)

Hey, easy on the gas, Grandma!

She's got to use
both feet to start it.

Anyway, she's going
back to Florida tomorrow.

Yeah, well, the two of
you really seem to hit it off.

Oh, yeah, she's cool.

She goes to bed at : .

But you know, what the hey?

Hey, Fonzie.

Hello, very short kid.

There's an old lady
stealing your bike.

Oh yeah, yeah. Whoa, later.

Are you going to
hang around here?

No, and neither are you.

Richie, you've got to come
home right away, right this minute.

Who died and left her boss?

Sit on it, Malph.

(mouthing)

Well, what's wrong, Joanie?

It's Dad. He's got a big
announcement to make.

Hey! Hey, maybe
he's getting a new car.

I don't know. He
came home early,

and piled all his
medicine on the table.

His ulcer medicine?

Yeah. And said he
wouldn't talk about it

till all his loved ones
were around him.

Yeah, doesn't
sound like a new car.

Maybe he's getting an Edsel.

Sit on it, Pots.

Oh, good!

I found him. He was at Arnold's.

Well, now we're all here.

Will this take long?

I'm supposed to go over
to Mary Jane's house.

She got the new Fabian record.

Quiet!

Well, what happened?
What's the big news?

I don't want to
upset anybody, and...

maybe I'm making
too much out of this.

Well, what is it, Dad?

What is it? Tell us!

We're ruined.

Can I go over to
Mary Jane's now?

Not yet, dear.

Well, I just thought
you'd all like to know.

How are we ruined?

Freifeld's Fish Market, Marion,
they're going out of business.

Freifeld's, that's
the big fish market

across the street
from your store?

Aha...

Right, well, what's
replacing the fish market?

A new hardware store?

You're worried about another
hardware store opening up?

It's not just another hardware
store, Marion, it is a monster!

Hardware Village!

It's three stories high,

and it's got an escalator
and a credit department

and different
kinds of nails!

You know how many
kinds of nails I sell?

Two!

Rusty and not rusty.

I can't compete with that!

Hey, where's our bankbook?

Bankbook? Well,
it's in the desk. Oh!

Now, Howard,
remember your ulcer.

How can I forget it?

It's been tap
dancing all day long.

I think you're
upsetting the children.

No, no, now, if there's trouble,

I want to know about it.

No, no, there's no trouble.

Man works years in the
same business, saves $ ?

There's no cause for alarm.

Well, what about
our savings bonds?

Our dream for the future?

Don't you remember, Marion?

We cashed them in
for the new cesspool.

Sit down, Marion.

Now, look, let's
get down to cases.

First thing tomorrow morning,

I've got to go out and scout
for a new location for the store.

Meanwhile, we've got to
find some money somewhere.

I never thought
I'd have to say this,

but I need my family's help.

You're going to ask
your father for money.

No, Marion, this
family, the three of you.

I need your help.

Fine. Dad, you need my help?

You got it.

Isn't that nice?

I got it?

What have I got?

I'll get a job.

I've helped you at the store.

I know hardware, Hardware
Village must need people.

Did you hear that?!

He's going over to
the enemy, Marion.

He's going to teach
them all of my tricks!

All right, I'll get a job.

I'll go back to
being a secretary.

Oh, that's great, Marion.

Then we have to go
and hire a housekeeper

and that will cost us money.

I can beg, that's cheap.

Dad, there are plenty of
ways that we can help out,

even if you don't
want us to get jobs.

What ways?

Name one way.

Well, uh, we, uh,
we could, uh...

Well, there are just
all kinds of ways.

All right, come on,
Marion, let's hear it!

Well, tell him, Mom.

There's nothing!

Now it's going to
cost me $ dollars

to clean the carpet.

I'll clean it for ten!

Never mind. I'll clean it.

Now, Howard, there's
just all kinds of ways.

We could take in a boarder.

Another mouth to feed, Marion.

No, we don't have to feed him.

Oh, great, we'll have a
dead body on the staircase.

Wait a minute.

The boarder doesn't
have to eat with us,

he doesn't have to live with us.

No, he could stay at a motel.

I don't think he'll pay
us much, though, Marion.

We can rent out the
room over the garage.

The attic?

The attic. It has a
separate entrance,

and it's got plumbing,

and it's got electricity
and a bathroom.

How much do you
think we can get for it?

Boy, it would really
take a lot of work.

I'll do the work. How
much do you think

we can get for it? Enough.

Admit it.

It's a great idea, Dad.

Yeah, it's a great idea, Dad.

Good, I won't have to beg.

Oh, look, if I seem
difficult tonight,

I hope you'll all understand.

Well, when a... when a
breadwinner begins to feel that

he's not winning the
bread anymore, he gets

a little nervous, and if I
was too hard on all of you,

just try and understand.

Besides, whoever dreamed

that you would have come
up with such a good idea?

Sit on it, Howard.

RALPH: Hey, Fonz!

RICHIE: Hey, Fonz!

Hey, a new machine.

All right, clear the field.

Don't play this machine, Fonz.

You'll only get mad.

Come here.

Pinball machines
do not make me mad.

I make them mad.

Right, Fonz.

Get out of here.

Well, good luck with
it, Fonz. I've got to go.

I'll see you later.
Oh, yeah? Hold it.

The Fonz is about to
play a new machine.

Who walks out?

BOTH: Nobody, Fonz, nobody.

Yeah, yeah, but see,
Fonz, I got to get home.

My mom's waiting
for me and ever...

Hey, I don't want to hear about

your family obligations.
I've got enough of my own.

From who?

My grandmother.

I thought she went
back to Florida.

Yeah, well, she
changed her mind.

She decided to move here
to Milwaukee permanent.

She says that Miami
Beach don't give her

the, uh, cultural advantages.

Whatever they may be.

All right.

Oh, uh, where's
she staying, Fonz?

With me, I told you that.

Now will you let me
get down to business

and get off the machine?

Well, do you like
her staying with you?

No, I don't like her
staying with me.

Her support hose
are in the sink,

she leaves her teeth everywhere,

and she buys me cardigans.

Now can you picture
me in a cardigan?

That's for nerds!

Yeah.

Man, I've got to find
her a place of her own.

I've got the place, Fonz.

It's a perfect place.

Well, lead the way.

All right, come on,
Granny, you can make it.

Only six more steps!

Oh, maybe it's too
much of a climb for her.

No, it's not. No, it's not.

Here we go.

All right, Grandma, these
are the Cunninghams,

a very lovely Midwestern family.

Hello. How do you do?

And this is my grandma,
Mrs. Nussbaum.

Nussbaum?

I've been married a few times.

Well, how do you
like it, Grandma?

Well, it's kind of a schlep.

That's Miami talk.

Well, now, you take

a good look around,
Mrs. Nussbaum.

Now, don't make any
hasty decisions. Just...

Nice...

Well, look, why don't
you just sign these papers

and then you can
move in tomorrow?

Yeah, and I'll
bring your stuff up.

You're rushing her.

Oh, I don't know.

I like your place, Skippy.

Skippy?

Hey! You didn't hear that!

Your building has games:
mah jong, and canasta games...

Oh, well, my family
will play with you.

RICHIE: I don't know
any of those games.

You'll learn!

Is it expensive?

We're asking $ a month.

It's a great price
and it's a great room!

A great price!

Look, this is a great bed,

and in the daytime
it becomes a couch,

and a couple of windows,
and, uh, funny roof.

What do you say, Grandma?

You want to take it?

MRS. NUSSBAUM: It's just not me.

I'm sorry. Oh...
I'm sorry, folks.

I'll be right down, Grandma.

All right, I'll start the cycle.

Look, Mrs. Nussbaum, we
can put in some improvements.

We'll paint... with a carpet!

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Yeah, you and me both.

Now I'm never going
to get her out of my joint!

And this is such
a nice place, too.

(cycle engine revving)
You like it, Fonz?

I just said I did, didn't I?

Well, listen, why
don't you take it?

Yeah, and what am I going
to do with my grandmother,

put her in storage?

No, no, she stays at your
place, and you move in here.

Cunningham, I knew I wasn't
wasting my time with you.

Huh? Give me that paper.

All right, you got a deal!

This is Fonzie's new place.

You're not going to regret it.

No, I'm not.

I'm going to go home
and pack right now.

Oh! Mrs. Cunningham,
this is a great touch.

Very nice.

Could use a few more
mirrors, but very nice.

Hey!

Yeah, I-I did it!

Dad is going to be so happy.

You know, I rented the
place and I got his price for it.

Well, maybe we should
have waited till he was here.

Sometimes I just have the
feeling he doesn't like Fonzie.

Oh, sure he does,
that's all just an act.

Now, listen Mom, I want
you to let me be the one

to tell Dad, okay?

Boy, oh, boy, she really
didn't want this apartment.

She threatened to do
a wheelie over my foot.

Dad, I've got some
great news for you.

What's that?

I rented the apartment.

To who?

Fonzie.

(screaming)

Howard!

He's our son!

He's your son, Marion! Oh for...

My pills, where are my pills!

(indistinct shouting)

HOWARD. Marion,
Fonzie is not a bad kid,

but I just don't want
him living in my house.

I'm sorry, we're just going

to have to tell
him it won't work.

(motorcycle engine revs)

Oh my goodness,
he's moving in already.

I never saw so many
combs in my life!

Dad, will you look at this?

Fonzie gave us three
months rent in advance.

I didn't touch it.

It's not mine until I touch it.

Oh, Howard, Fonzie's
been around here a lot.

I think you're being very silly.

Dad, Fonzie is not
going to change our lives.

That's not what you
told Ralph on the phone.

You said there'd be women

running through here day
and night. (whispers): be quiet!

And there'd be
plenty of leftovers.

Women? Joanie,
go up to your room.

I don't want you
to hear this talk.

Well, what do you
mean? I started it.

Women?

Howard, you're not
giving him a fair trial.

There's an idea.

How about a trial?

What trial?

Well, let Fonzie stay here
for a month on a trial basis,

and then if you're not
happy, Dad, he has to go.

And at least we'll
have a month's rent.

Remember Hardware
Village, Howard.

Credit department.

JOANIE: Escalators.

kinds of nails.

.

All right, you talk to him.

All right, great.

He can stay a week.

A week?

A week.

All right, here's Monday's
comb, Tuesday, Wednesday...

Hey, where's Thursday?

Today's Thursday!

Hello, Thursday.

(knocking)

Hey, come on in.

Fonzie's free.

Hey, Fonz.

You all unpacked?

Yeah, almost.

I travel light.

Oh, well, you know,

that's a pretty
good idea because,

uh, well, you never know,
you might be moving again.

Yeah, right.

You still keep your
old schoolbooks, huh?

No, this is my
little black book.

This here is A to L.

M to Z?

M to Z, yeah.

You know that M to Z
kisses better than A to L?

You know why that is?

Oh, the mysteries of life.

Well, I just need to talk to you

for a second, Fonz. sh**t.

Well, you see, my
father thinks that,

well, maybe after
about a week or so that...

Hey, say no more.

He's afraid I'm going
to skip out on him, right?

That's why I gave
you all the money.

Fonz is a man of his word.

I should call her.

Well, you see, Fonz...

my dad wouldn't
take all the money.

He only took a week's worth.

He... well, he just wants

to see how it works out first.

Well, I'll tell you,

you tell your father he
is a man of character.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'll stay here for a week,

and if I don't
like it, I'll leave.

Arthur, are you going

to send out some of those
change-of-address cards?

Hey, now, that's a thought.

Why don't you wait a week
and see how you like it?

Yeah, they'll find me.

Word of mouth, right?

I'll tell you something.

Thanks very much for the
invitation to this great meal.

Of course you realize
this is a special occasion

and that meals are not included.

Oh, yeah, but I ain't, I
ain't available anyway.

But I love your
pot roast, Mrs. C.

Well, this is Howard's favorite.

Can't find food like
this in a restaurant.

Oh, yes, you can!

I get your meaning, Mr. C.,
and that's a good one.

GIRL: Hey, Fonzie!
It's me, Vivian!

What was that?

Well that's, uh, Vivian, dear.

Well, I heard that.

Do you have a
date tonight, Fonz?

A maybe date.

VIVIAN: Fonzie,
are you coming out?

This is really
embarrassing, huh?

Some people got no class.
They just interrupt a great meal.

Don't you ever
do that, shortcake.

VIVIAN: Fonzie,
are you in there?

Hey, will you shut
up? We're eating!

(clock ticking)

(engine wheezing)

MAN: Fonzie!

FONZIE: Who's that?

Marko. Something's
wrong with my muffler.

Can you fix it?

Will you stop shouting?

You're going to wake
up the Cunninghams!

Marion... (engine wheezing)

Marion!

(engine revving)

FONZIE: What are you talking
about? It purrs like a baby.

How come Dad's so late tonight?

He's keeping the store open late

to see if it brings
in extra money.

You know, if he'd
just let Fonzie stay,

he'd have the extra money.

That is out of the
question, dear.

Your father's mood
has gotten worse

ever since Fonzie moved in.

(humming happily)

Hello, loved ones.

Well, did you do a lot of
business tonight, dear?

Not a dime's worth!

I think he's drunk.

Don't be dumb.

He can't walk when he's drunk.

I am not drunk!

Well, why are you
dancing around?

Hardware Village
went down the tubes!

What happened?

The treasurer of the
company skipped off to Brazil

with all the money!

He embezzled?

Yes, isn't that terrible?

I'm just sick about it!

They're going to open
up a bowling alley instead,

and we are going to
make a fortune in floor wax!

Vive le Cunningham!

That's great, Dad!

Well, we're glad to
see you smiling again.

Yes, but that's not
the best part of it.

The best part is that
today is the day he is out.

His week is up today.

Dad, you know,
I've been thinking,

and a week is not
a very long time...

Is he trying to talk
me out of this, Marion?

I think so.

(laughs loudly)

Well, I'd better go tell Fonzie.

No, you don't have to, dear.

This is your father's
responsibility.

No, but it was my idea,
and besides, I want to do it.

You know, this could
really hurt Fonzie.

He's a very sensitive person.

I hope he doesn't throw
me down the stairs.

Mom!

There's smoke coming
out of Fonzie's apartment.

And I think he's there
because I saw his bike! A fire!

What'll we do?! Wait a minute!

Now don't panic. Remember
what your father taught us...

Cool heads. Right.

Each one of us has a job to do.

Right. I get the extinguisher.

I-I get the ladder.

I get the axe, your father
calls the fire department.

Right. Remember, cool heads.

Cool.

Fire!

We got fire!

(feet pounding on stairs)

Don't you knock?

It's an egg! An egg!

Oh, I think you burned
the eggs, Vivian.

You thought it was a fire, huh?

Yes, I'm funny that way!

When I see smoke,
I think there's a fire!

Tonight, out, out, out!

Darling... Out, out, out!

Out, out; the fire, it's out.

Boy, I'm so embarrassed
they found us here.

What about my reputation?

So what?

Not every girl can cook.

FONZIE: All right, now listen,
you go right down to that corner,

you get on that bus, it'll
take you straight home.

Call me.

Watch your little step there.

Hey, is that you, Mr. C?

What are you lurking
in the shadows for?

Could I talk to you
for a minute, Fonzie?

Yeah, sure, come on up.

Don't they ever sleep?

It's a little late, ain't it?

Yeah, well, it couldn't wait.

Well, sit down.

Thanks.

Richie wanted to
talk to you but, uh,

well, I thought it
was best if I did this.

It's not easy for me
to say this, Fonzie,

but, uh, well, you
see, your week is up...

Hey, Mr. Cunningham, I'm sorry.

There's something on my
mind, I can't hold it back, huh?

I can't stay here
anymore, Mr. Cunningham.

What?

I don't mean to
leave you in the lurch,

but this is just
not working out.

I mean this ain't a mix, you
know, like with the egg tonight?

And yeah, it's a cute roof,

but you park too
close to my bike,

and there are a
lot of other things.

I'm even sure that there
might be one or two things

that I do that annoy you.

No!

Well, it's all settled.
Tomorrow morning

I'm packed and out.

If you insist, Fonzie.

Yeah.

Look, I'll get Richie
to help you pack.

Come on in, Richard.

Hi, Fonz.

What are you doing out there?

Same as me, lurking
in the shadows.

Like father, like son, you know.

Uh, Richard, Fonzie
insists on leaving us.

It's too bad, but, uh,

well, it was nice
having you here, Fonzie.

Do you mean that?

Well, sure, you're
like one of the family.

Does everybody feel that way?

Believe me, more than I do.

Believe him, Fonz.

Yeah, well, good-bye,
Fonzie, and good luck to you.

No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Time out, here, time out.

Like one of the close family?

Oh, absolutely!

Wow...

Is there something wrong, Fonz?

No, you know that
I ain't had a family

since I was six
years old, right?

I didn't need 'em.

Feels weird, being
part of a family.

It's a good feeling, huh?

I felt a little like
that all week long.

Yeah, well, always remember
Fonzie, that wherever you are,

wherever you go,
we're your family.

Help him pack, will you, Richie?

No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

This changes everything.

What do you mean,
where am I going, huh?

I'm staying right here!

You're kidding!

Mr. C., you just hit
me right where I live.

One of the family.

Now wait a minute,
I'm getting all misty.

I do not want you
to see me like this.

What happened?

He got misty.

What misty? I had him!

I had him out the door.

I had him, Richard.

It's all right, Dad.

Now I've got to put
up with motorcycles

and screaming
girls setting fires...

What am I supposed to do?

He's thinks he's
one of the family.

Well, it won't be that bad, Dad.

One of my family.

You know it all started
that night at dinner, Richard.

Now he's going to be
here for Thanksgiving

and Christmas and
he's... he's going to want

to roll eggs at Easter time.

Well, he's a very handy
guy to... to have around.

He can fix your car.

Oh, that's great.

I'll be the first guy
in the neighborhood

who can go miles
an hour in a De Soto.

Are we supposed

to take him with
us on our vacation?

No, he's got his own life.

Maybe he'll settle down.
He might even get married.

Good, good, then his whole
family will move in and we'll have a...

we'll have a Mrs. Fonzie
burning eggs in the kitchen

and a lot of little
Fonzies running around

in leather diapers...

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪