05x20 - Fight Club Paradise

[bunniefuu]

[ Static ]

Hello?

[ Sniffs ]

Oh, my. It smells like
this room

has not been cleaned
for five whole seasons...

of a television show.

[ Clucks ]

Oh! Hello, Chicken!

Oh, your chair so dirty.

If I clean,
you no run away, okay?

[ Clucks ]

You promise?

[ Clucks ]

[ Squawking ]

I like you, chicken.

[ Squawks ]

[ Flies buzzing ]

[ Clucking ]

[ Wind whistling ]

Oh, man! I just realized
they'll probably show

the "Sex and the City "
Trailer!

Why are you so excited?

I tried to drag you
to the last one,

and you almost
broke up with me.

The last one
flopped pretty bad,

so the studio's making the
third one more guy-friendly.

[ Film projector clicking ]

Well, the lack of testes
was making me testy,

but this boring event
just took a sperm

for the better.

[ All laugh ]

Huh?

Hey, everyone! This chick
is giving me some--ah,

you know what? It's too easy.
Joke withdrawn, everyone.

Joke withdrawn.

"The detective said
Samantha's collar was rigged

to blow as soon
as she made a sex pun,

so it couldn't have been on
her for more than seconds."

[ Cellphone rings ]

Carrie, come
to Miranda's, quick!

The collar was rigged to blow
as soon as she tasted tuna.

But ironically, she was making
an actual tuna-fish sandwich.

MR. Big, someone
is k*lling my friends!

You've got to help us!

Carrie, I have two secrets.

First, my real name
isn't Alexander Big.

My second secret...is this.

[ Shing! ]

Out of the way, gaybies!

Hyah! Hyah!

Aah!

Ha ha!

Aah!

Big? I feel so strange.

Your brain is getting used
to your new body, Miss Bradshaw.

Uhh, what shall I do
with her old body?

[ Flies buzzing ]

Donate it to science.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Sex and the City "!

Shut up! The Katherine Heigl
movie is starting.

[ Sighs ]

"Sex and the City "!

"Sex and the City "!

Shhhh!

[ Pitter! pitter! pitter!
pitter! pitter! ]

Hey, hey, hey!

I avoid starvation
for another day!

Sorry, Yogi, but if you steal
one more basket, it's my job.

You'll never catch me!

I live the life of the free!

Not this time, Yogi.

h* Chi Hacharu!

Quite the surprise,
but try this on for size!

Hey, hey, hey!

♪ Go, go,
Power Forest Rangers! ♪

♪ Go, go,
Power Forest Rangers! ♪

Raaaaaaaah!

♪ Go, go,
Power Forest Rangers! ♪

♪ Go, go,
Power Forest Rangers! ♪

♪ Go, go, Power Forest... ♪

What the [ Bleep ]
is happening?!

And that is how you bring
Yogi Bear to Japan!

You're welcome!

[ Door closes ]

They called me mad,
but I did it!

Egypt shall forevermore be known
as the land of giant boobies!

Ha ha! They're like
giant boobies!

Don't be an idiot!

I just don't think
that we're ready for this,

not--not right now.

Okay. I understand.

It's okay.

[ Both sobbing ]

[ Clucks ]

[ Clucks in surprise ]

[ Static ]

[ Static ]

[ Shower running ]

[ Static ]

[ Squawks ]

[ Clucking fearfully ]

It's no big deal.

[ Indistinct voices ]

[ Static ]

[ Clucks angrily ]

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Clucks angrily ]

[ All screaming ]

Are you on your way
to a fancy party?!

That was my line from our
first appearance on this show!

Eyegorp!

[ Buzzing ]

I deserve it!

[ Gulping ]

Oh-h*, man.

You seem so ruthless.

Time to make you toothless!

Oh! Aah!

Bah-bah!

[ Neighs ]

Your beak looks ribbed
for my pleasure!

Ow!

Aah! That's not
half bad, actually.

Whoa!

♪ I'm so happy
'cause you are ♪

♪ Gonna die, gonna die! ♪

No, no, no! no! stop!

[ Chomp! chomp! ]

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aaaaaaaaah!

[ Drumroll ]

A drumroll?

It's so suspenseful!

Aah! What an ironic death!

I'm a champion!

Hmm! Looks like someone's
been watching Tony Jaa's

"The Protector."

Ooh! Looks like
someone just peed

in his Gatchaman boxer shorts!

[ Metal whirring ]

[ Electricity whirs, crackles ]

He he!

[ Sighs ]

[ g*nsh*t ]

Suck my sleigh ba*ls!

Aah! Oh! My only weakness!

♪ Duh da-da-da-da-da-da
daaaah! ♪

b*tch pudding!

B-b-b-blam!

How do you like the taste
of b*tch pudding?!

Your mama sure liked it when
she ate it out of my butthole!

[ Bleep ]

Blam! b*tch pudding!

Blam, blam, blam, blam!

Whoo! Blam!

Oh! Oh! Blam!

[ Splat! ]

[ Coughs ]

You saved me?

My life has value after all!

Oh!

Ding, dang!

This is gonna be one
dilly of a slobberknocker!

Ow!

These ratings...will
be glorious.

[ Both moaning ]

Let me just get that for you.

[ Door hinges creak ]

I wish I was a bionic chicken.

That would be so cool.

[ Static ]

[ Clucks inquisitively ]

[ Clapping slowly ]

[ Clucks impatiently ]

[ Snaps fingers ]

[ Clucking angrily ]

[ Metal clinking ]

[ Clucking angrily ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Panting ]

[ Clucks softly ]

[ Clucks happily ]

♪ We love you ♪

♪ What a journey we've
been through so far ♪

♪ We've been
through so far ♪

♪ Because of you,
we've had to raise the bar ♪

♪ Raise the bar ♪

♪ Toys and violence ♪

♪ Molesting your brain ♪

♪ And then buying
your silence ♪

♪ Silence ♪

♪ And you were there
and nothing was taboo ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ We love you ♪

♪ We love you ♪

♪ Nerds on unicorns ♪

♪ Dirty, filthy puppet porn ♪

♪ We love you ♪
♪ We love you ♪

♪ Robotic sexual as*ault ♪

♪ It's not the washing
machine's fault ♪

♪ Five whole seasons
of nothing but pleasing ♪

♪ When our cold hearts
are freezing ♪

♪ You give our lives
a reason ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

Stoopid Monkey.