01x12 - Justin's Little Sister

[bunniefuu]

All right, my little history wranglers,
enough ruckus.

Let's start off Thursday's class
like we always do:

With an oral pop quiz.

Oh, my gosh. It's the Thursday pop quiz
we have every Thursday.

I'm totally caught off-guard.

In no particular order:
Wendy Bott, you're up.

The French and Indian w*r
was fought by three groups of people.

Name two of them.

The French was one for sure.

And the other one,
I'm just gonna guess, Indians?

Excellent.

Nellie Rodriguez. You're up.

The w*r of started in what year?

Oh, my gosh, I studied for this one.

- ?
- Another winner.

Alex Russo.

The Monroe Doctrine.
What is it? When was it passed?

And please give
a two-minute argument defending it.

Hold on. The other two questions
had the answers in them.

My question's supposed to be:

The Monroe Doctrine,
whose doctrine is it?

I'd say "Monroe" and you'd say,
"Yipee-dilly-lily, way to go, little filly."

Oh, Alex. You are definitely not
your brother Justin.

No, I'm not. I'm cuter, more fun to talk to

and I don't have dental floss
on a key chain.

Yeah, well, I do.

Justin made it for me.

Oh, Justin. Those were the days.

Can you believe this?
He's comparing me to Justin.

I know.
It is so hard to live up to Justin.

He's smart and handsome,
and he has the healthiest gums.

- I mean...
- Okay, I get it, he flosses.

Let's make him president.

How was school today?
Wait, let me guess who got in trouble?

Well, I got a hard quiz question
because of Justin,

got in trouble because of Justin,

and got recruited by the math team
because of Justin.

What are you smiling about?

I have had a much more productive day
than I realised.

Okay.

Today's lesson is about genies.

Oh, I know a Jeannie.

Jeannie Kowalski.

Jeannies do not like it
when you flick them in the ear.

That's lesson number one.

No, lesson number one
is leave that girl alone.

She's bigger than you.

And lesson number two
is about genies that live in a lamp.

And they are the con artists
of the wizard world.

I thought they were
supposed to grant you three wishes.

They do, but they take your wish

and they twist it around into something
you wish you never wished for.

Is Alex a genie?

No, she's just your older sister.

But good, Max.
You understand the concept.

No genie can trick me. I'd make them wish
that they never met me.

You don't have to be a genie
to wish you never met you.

So are we gonna take
this genie out or what?

You can't take the genies
out of their lamps, because they're tricky.

Once out, it's hard to get them back in.

Yeah, Alex, this was all in the handout,
which you obviously didn't read.

Why can't you be
more like your brother?

Because I don't want to grow old alone.

Wait a minute.

So we're getting a genie lesson
without seeing a genie?

No, the genie is not coming
out of the lamp, we're going into the lamp.

Come on. Justin, take us in.

We are now small and teeny-weeny
Take us inside to see the genie

Oh, Christmas carolers.

It's a little early.

But who doesn't love
a little "Jingle Bell Rock"?

Hit it, boys.
A one, two, a one, two, three, four.

Hi. We're not carolers.

We're on a field trip.
I'm just showing these young wizards

what a genie
looks like in its natural habitat.

I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting company.

I don't have enough food...

...to make dinner for all of us.

But I know this amazing pizzeria...
Everybody likes pizza, right?

- On th and a Columbus
with a topping bar.

A topping bar?

- How's that for a topper?
- That sounds great.

- Let's get out of here.
- Let's.

We are now small and teeny-weeny,
but instead...

See that, Dad? She thought
a genie wouldn't outsmart her,

and she almost set her free.

Hello. I was about to put my hand
over my own mouth.

This is why I brought you here.
To show you how tricky genies can be.

That's right. Genies can be very tricky.

Hey, let's go talk about it over a latte.

There's this place in Brooklyn
that makes these lattes with basil in them.

Basil lattes. That sounds great.
Why don't you get your jacket and we'll go.

Yes.

See that? I just outsmarted the genie.
Now let's get out of here.

And I just found out
there's a pizzeria with a topping bar.

Take us out.

We are now small and teeny-weeny
We are done visiting the genie

Oh, it's you.

I was just in the middle
of snaking my drain.

Okay. Thank you for rubbing my lamp.

You have a lot of choices in lamps,
I appreciate choosing mine.

Your wish is my command.
You're entitled to three wishes, blah, blah.

Not valid in Vermont or Connecticut.

Okay. I wish people
would stop comparing me to Justin.

Oh, your older brother?
He seems really sharp.

I'm glad he's not my brother.
I could never live in that shadow.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Let's get to the wish.
- Okay.

- Isn't that the Macarena?
- Hold on.

Yeah, they stole it from us.

Okay. You're good.

You will no longer be compared
to your brother.

So you probably heard
genies are always trying to sneak off.

- You can't sneak off if I'm letting you go.
- You're letting me go?

Sure, go on. I got my wish.

Class is starting. Beat it.

- Thank you.
- No, thank you.

Okay, my wily coyotes.

It's time for a surprise
Thursday pop quiz,

on Friday.

- Alex Russo.
- Here we go.

Name two of the three people who were
on the Lewis and Clark Expedition,

which also featured Sacagawea.

- Did you just give me all three answers?
- No fair. I'm not giving hints.

Okay.

Then I'm gonna say Lewis and Clark.

And Sacagawea.

Three out of three.
And I only asked for two.

I think we have a winner.

Actually, let's let Alex ring the bell.

Is there somebody
you wanna compare me to?

- No.
- Thank you, genie.

Can you believe it?

He didn't ask me some ridiculous question
that only Justin would know the answer to.

- Who's Justin?
- What do you mean, "Who's Justin?"

- Hey, Justin.
- Alex.

The weirdest thing happened to me.

I got kicked out of chemistry
because I wasn't on the class list.

And I told Mrs. Rieber
it had to be a mistake,

I've been there all semester,
but she still didn't remember me.

Oh, that is weird.

You'd think she'd remember the student
that came with the periodic element song.

Hydrogen then helium

Lithium, beryllium

Boron

Speaking of borons, why don't you go
tell your friends about your problem.

Fine.

That's Justin?

The new guy who's H-O-T cute?

No, the guy who's my brother
who's V-E-R-Y dorky.

No, you only have one brother.
His name is Max.

Oh, my gosh.
Harper, I'm gonna catch up with you later.

Fine. But I call dibs
on that new Justin guy.

- I liked him first.
- Dibs acknowledged.

We played video games together.
Yesterday. Remember?

I got overexcited and hyperventilated.

Your mom had to get me a bag.

Sorry, dude. Good luck with whatever.

I don't have any friends.
My teacher doesn't remember me.

What did you do?

Why? Just because something
completely out of the ordinary happens

doesn't mean I automatically had
something to do with it.

- Did you have something to do with it?
- Yes.

I made a wish with the genie that everyone
would stop comparing me to you,

but I guess she did
that by making everyone forget you.

Okay. Tell the genie
you wish everyone remembers me again.

I can't. I let her go.
That way she couldn't sneak off.

Oh, I get it. It's kind of like giving a burglar
your money so he doesn't steal it.

- Look, what do you want me to do?
- You've done enough.

We're gonna have to get Dad to help us.

Hi, I'm Jerry, Alex's father.
Nice to meet you.

We already met.

I don't think Dad's gonna help us.

Hey, who's your new friend? He's cute.
He looks a little like your Uncle Ernesto.

It's not just school,
no one remembers me.

Look on the bright side.
I bet you don't have to do dishes tonight.

Okay, Justin. I know this looks bad.
No one remembers you.

But I'll fix it.
In the meantime, think of all the benefits.

- Like not having to do the dishes?
- Yeah.

I'd trade that
for my parents remembering me.

Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?

I fell asleep at table five one night.
It's pretty comfortable.

Okay. Follow my lead.

Mom, Justin's parents
are out of town for a week,

and he doesn't have a place to stay,
and he lost his key when he tripped

- and he fell down the subway grate.
- Oh, my goodness.

Well, Justin, you're more than welcome
to stay with us until your parents get back.

- Really? Thank you.
- See that? Problem solved.

Yeah, everything's great.

It's just my parents
don't know who I am.

Hey, Max.
Do you still remember me, buddy?

Of course I do.

- You do?
- Yes. You're Uncle Ernesto.

I have seen you in Mom's pictures.

Alex. Look what I made in art class.

It's a bust of that new kid, Justin.

- Do you think he'll like it?
- I don't know. Why don't you ask him?

Oh, my gosh. He's here.

How do I look?

Better than him.

Justin, look who's here.
And she made something nice-ish.

Hey, Harper.

You know my name?

I made this for you.
Oh, that's not my lipstick on the cheek.

Thanks, Harper. I'll put it in my room.

As soon as my parents
get back in town.

- Oh, where are you staying?
- Here.

He's already moved in?
You do not respect the code of dibs.

Harper made a bust of Uncle Ernesto?

It's me.

That's still weird.

Alex, we have to do something.

You know...

They can't forget you.

You're their first-born.
Maybe we can jog their memory.

Mr. Russo and Mrs. Russo,
since I'll be staying,

it would be rude
if I didn't let you get to know me.

So tell us about yourself.

- Well, Justin loves school.
- Loves school?

Oh, we never hear that around here.

And I love watching sports with my dad.

- Go Mets.
- A Mets fan.

You should've started with that.
Now, Jets or Giants?

- Jets.
- There it is.

Welcome to the family, Justin.

Justin is a great catch.
You should go out with him.

Gross. That's exactly how I felt
about your father when I first met him,

and now he's my big cuddly bug.

Grosser.

Justin is a fine young man.
You should be more like him.

Even when they don't know you,
they want me to be more like you.

You can't wish away quality.

Okay, how are you
gonna get the genie back?

I don't know.
I've just been racking my brain.

I just wish the genie would show up.

What just happened?

You wished for the genie to come back
and she came back.

And stumbling on that,
you just used your second wish.

Okay, Alex, you have one wish left.
Choose your words really carefully.

I know, I know.
I wish you would stop telling me...

That's not it, that's not it.
I'm gonna get this right. Okay.

I wish people would... No, no, no. No.

I wish Justin would be...
No, no, no. No, you'll wreck that.

I wish my first wish...
I wish my brother...

This is gonna be good.

- Oh, I've got it.
- Hold up. Let me hear it.

Okay. I wish everyone
would see Justin clearly for who he is.

Wait. There could be a problem
if you say the word...

"Clearly."

And that's my triple play.
Thanks for rubbing my lamp.

Really. It's yours to keep.
In fact, use it as a gravy boat.

Just remember
it's not dishwasher safe.

You know what?
Throw it in the dishwasher, I don't care.

Alex, look what you've done.
You've ruined my life.

Hold on. You're invisible. Isn't there
something you've always wanted to do?

Someone you've always wanted
to get back at

and they would never know
because you're invisible?

There. I've done it.

- Okay. I had that coming.
- Now fix this.

Hey, you kids want some ice cream?

- What are you doing?
- This way I'll be totally invisible.

No. Just hide.

Don't look.

- Where's your friend?
- Bathroom?

I love talking sports with him.

I'll sit right here
and wait till he gets back.

No, no, Dad, not there.

- Why not?
- Because I'm gonna sit there.

I like sitting here.

Who was that?

Alex Russo, what is going on here?

And why is there a pillow
floating in midair?

Justin's invisible
and not wearing any clothes.

Jerry, what's wrong?

I just sat down
on Alex's invisible friend Justin.

- Justin, what did Alex do to you?
- Yeah, I don't know.

And I'm sure this may seem like magic,

but I'm sure there's a perfectly rational,
scientific explanation for all of it...

- Dad, Justin knows about magic.
- Okay, what did she do to you?

- Well, she...
- Wait.

Is he holding that pillow to?

Oh, that's my good pillow.

And since it's the only thing I can see,
I don't feel very comfortable talking to it.

Just talk to Uncle Ernesto.

Alex, what did you do to him?

Okay, I'll tell you.

- But you're never gonna believe me.
- Of course we'll believe you.

Justin is my brother
and your oldest son.

I don't believe you.

No, it's true.

I made a wish with the genie that everyone
would stop comparing me to Justin,

but the genie conned me
and made everyone forget him.

- And then he became invisible.
- She's telling the truth.

You're trying to tell me
I have a son I don't even remember?

Please believe me.
You have to believe me.

I used up all my wishes,
but the genie was too smart for me.

Genies are sneaky.

You have to help me.
You can't let him be invisible forever.

I grew up with him.
He may be dorky and annoying,

but he's fun and gullible to pull pranks on,
and he's my brother. I need him back.

You know what, honey?

I think I believe you.
You really love your brother.

You love him too.

And sometimes more than her.

I'm trying to help you here.

We have to do something.

Honey, I believe you too, okay?

But what am I gonna do?
The genie outsmarted you.

Justin, I'm sorry.

But I'm happy I have another son.

Let me have a hug.

- Well, yeah. Go put some clothes on first.
- I'll be right back.

Floating pillow.

You've gotta teach me that one
so I can sleep standing up.

You know what?

The genie may have outsmarted me,
but maybe we can out-dumb her.

Max, how would you get a genie
to come back to her lamp?

I know. Orange soda.

What?

If someone poured orange soda
in my room, I'd be really mad.

You spilled orange soda in your room,
didn't you?

What did we say
about taking that up there?

See? She's really mad
and she's going to my room.

Is it working? Is it working?
It's not working.

What are you doing? That's my house.

See? Nothing drives the ladies mad
like orange soda.

I'll stop shaking it if you give Max a wish.
It's just gonna get foamier in here.

Fine. What do you want?

I wish for this haircut
and a shirt like this.

I can't give you a wish you already have.
What game are you playing, kid?

Oh, yeah? I wish for the genie game.

What genie game?

- What are you trying to do?
- Oh, you know what I'm trying to do.

Well, it sounds like you're trying to find out
about the reset button.

Max, there's a reset button.
You know what to wish for.

Swimming pool of pudding? Yes.

No. The reset button.

I wish you would show me
the reset button.

- In your lamp.
- In your lamp.

If there's a reset button,
we'll need this paperclip.

Hi.

Orangey.

Max.

I got it.

All right. Here it is.

When you press it, it undoes
all the wishes since the last save,

as if they'd never happened.

- That was close.
- You're back. I'm so glad I can see you.

Oh, Justin, sweetie,
I'm so sorry I forgot you.

What kind of mother
forgets her own son?

- What about you?
- What? I'm a dad.

Before my cup of coffee,
I'm lucky if I remember one of these kids.

Come on, Bobby. Bedtime.

So you were pretty upset
about me being invisible, huh?

No. I was just afraid that I would be
running into you all the time.

No, you weren't.

I need my brother back.

I need my brother back. Where is he?

Yeah, I'm glad you're back.
That way I can do this.

I miss my...

I miss my brother. He's so athletic.