01x18 - Credit Check

[bunniefuu]

Okay, everybody, gather round.

Time for the semiannual
new-sandwich-idea meeting.

Okay. Max, go.

The Crust Lover's Special.

It's a sandwich
made out of only bread crusts.

What do you do with the middles?

It would be nice if you pitched ideas
rather than problems once in a while.

Okay.

- Alex, go.
- Okay. Meat Me in Little Italy.

Double the meat on a small Italian roll.

And you could also say
Meat Me in Turkey.

And I think you know
where I'm going with this.

I have created sandwich-naming dice.

One has the name
of New York City locations,

the other, various sandwich meats.

Watch.

Lincoln Tunnel Tuna.

That's the beauty
of the sandwich-naming dice.

If you don't like it, you just roll again.

Lincoln Tunnel Tuna.

Here, I'll...

Lincoln Tunnel Tuna.

Hey, somebody fixed these dice.

Why are you looking at me?

Yeah, you should look at me.

Wait a minute. I've got an idea.

What if we take double the meat
and put it in a small Italian roll...

And we can call it
Meat Me in Little Italy.

What?

Don't you get it, honey? It's a pun.

It's not a pun. It's stolen.

You heard me, right, Justin?

I didn't hear a thing.

Well, Alex, if you say you said it,
you probably did.

The most important thing is,
if one of us has a great idea,

we all have a great idea.

Oh, honey,
I just came up with another one.

Meat Me in Turkey.

Alex, you can take credit for that one.

See? Now everybody's happy.

Question.

If you're faced with a situation
and time is running out, what do you do?

Let one rip
and blame whoever else is in the room.

Okay.

We're talking about magic.

More specifically,
the freeze-frame spell.

You can freeze people around you
without freezing yourself.

It was developed by Dr. J. Geils.

Justin, why don't you give it a try?

All you have to do is say:

And time will be frozen.

- For how long?
- For as long as you can hop on one leg.

Wait, wait. Why one leg?

Because Dr. J. Geils
only had one leg.

Charley horse. Charley horse.

Going down.

Hey, I like this spell.

All right.
One Meat Me in Little Italy combo,

or, as I prefer to call it,

My Mom and Dad
Never Give Me Enough Credit

For All the Hard Work I Do sandwich.

Oh, a sandwich with a side of attitude.

Tasty.

- What are those?
- Oh, my gosh, you're relentless.

If you must know,
I work for a fashion magazine.

Well, not a good one.

All these outfits are trying
way too hard to be different.

Well, you're unusually opinionated.

No, it's pretty usual for me.

I'll tell you what I like.

This with this and that with that.

I like your panache, kid.

Oh, we don't have panache.

But we do have quiche.
It's kind of like a pie.

Would you be interested
in an internship this summer

with Fashion Fatale Magazine?

Fashion Fatale?

I read those for free at the newsstand
until the guy chases me away.

Just give me one second.
Let me ask my parents.

Mom, Dad,
some dude from Fashion Fatale Magazine

just offered me an internship,
and I'm gonna take it. Okay.

They said yes.

Before we get started,

I'd like to introduce you to our new intern,
Alex Russo.

Air kisses.

Okay. That was really weird.

Kiss back.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Hi, I'm Alex. What's your name?

Paul.

Oh, that's a cool name.
How do you spell it?

P-A-U-L.

Isn't that just Paul?

It's Paul.

Okay, people.

I'd like those ideas
for the fall-fling issue.

I want different.

What different ideas do you have?

Eve, you're up.
You panicked. We're done with you.

Jack, you're up.

Wearable yogurt.

You have got to stop pitching that.

I have an idea.

No, you don't.
Interns don't pitch ideas, they get coffee.

Sure, Alex, what you got?

Well, something different would be

finding a way
to make summer colours work in the fall.

Love it.

Pushing the envelope
without bursting the envelope.

Okay, I need research on it,

I need editorial on it,
I need photography on it.

And, Paul, I need some coffee.

Eight sugars. Dash of cream.

And I'll have a chocolate biscotti, Paul.

Okay. Our new hire, Millie,
will be here any minute,

and I expect the two of you to show her
how things are done around here.

Millie? Isn't that a grandma's name?

What, is it short
for "millions of years old"?

I bet you she smells like ham.

Hey, maybe then people will smell her,
and we'll sell more ham.

There she is.
Hi, Millie, welcome to the shop.

Well, now we know
what her first job is gonna be.

Hey, Millie. How you doing?

- These are our sons, Justin and Max.
- Hi, guys.

Did I forget to wear pants or something?
Because I have that dream sometimes.

No, no, no.

Hi.

I was two away from all girls.

I'm going to be training you,

so we might be spending
a lot of time together.

Yeah, it's an intensive process.

You don't smell like ham.

Thank you.
I've worked really hard on that.

Hey, you like Tears of Blood?
I love that band.

I never thought a girl
like you would like them.

A girl like what?

Pretty.

I don't smell like ham and I'm pretty?

I like it here.

Hey, Millie,
come over here and I'll show you

where Jerry hides
when I'm looking for him.

It looks like you should ask Millie out.

You know,
I could be your wingman on this one.

A wingman? What do you know
about being a wingman?

I know plenty.

All right, fine.
Okay, yeah, you're my wingman.

Great. I gotta get some wings
and a hawk mask.

No. Dude, a wingman is someone
who says cool stuff about me

to Millie to get her to go out with me.

You mean cool stuff like:

Pretty.

So this is where it all happens.

Over there is photography,

where they show beautiful girls
so other girls feel inferior.

Over there is editorial, where they write
articles that make girls feel inferior.

What's over there?

Oh, that's the kitchen, where people
are too self-conscious to eat.

It's just like I imagined it would be.

Lots of cool people
not making eye contact with me.

Watch.

Hi.

See? She didn't even look up.

Alex, this is not show-and-tell time.

Ms. Angela will be here any minute.

Ms. Angela is the publisher
of the magazine.

She's gonna come by to approve my
bringing-summer-colours-into-fall idea.

Jeffrey.

Where are the treats for my doggie?

Ms. Angela, you don't have a dog.

Run down to Petland and get me a dog.

Bye-bye.

Jeffrey, who are these people?

Hi, I'm Alex. I'm the new intern.

No, no, not you. I was talking about the girl
who's dressed like a giant preschooler.

That was rude.

Don't worry, I've rewired my brain
so they come across as compliments.

Thank you.

Jeffrey.

Jeffrey.

Oh, Jeffrey.
I need to see the new issue.

Interesting.

Summer colours in the fall.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

Great idea, Jeffrey.

You are not fired today.

Thank you, Ms. Angela.

I try to come up
with the best ideas possible for you.

Well, just keep those ideas coming,
Jeffrey. I have big plans for you.

Jeffrey, you totally took credit for my idea.
What was that about?

That's about you being an intern

and me being the next editor-in-chief
of Fashion Fatale Magazine.

I can't believe you stole my idea.

Don't worry, kid.
You'll have your time to shine.

In the meantime,
how about some coffee?

Oh, no, thanks. I don't drink coffee.

You don't have to drink it to get it.

Everyone, Alex is going on a coffee run.

Can you believe that?

I know. It's horrible.

I'll have a caramel macchiato.

All right, wingman,
get over there and talk me up.

As soon as you feel she's ready,
you give me the high sign.

Got it.

What's a high sign?

Finish scratching that itch
and show me the high sign.

Just wave hi, okay? Just like this.

- Got it.
- Good.

Hey, Millie.

Did you know that Justin
wears his underwear in the shower?

I thought I was supposed
to give the high sign.

This does not make it private.

I think it does.

No, it doesn't.

Well, here's something
that's cool for sure.

He has a lot of comic books.

- That's cool.
- But wait, there's more.

He has action figures
of the heroes in the comic books,

and he uses them to act out the scenes.

She's ready.

The idea was all mine.

And Jeffrey made Ms. Angela
think it was all his idea.

And then he made you get coffee.

By the way,
mine was cold when you brought it back.

You know,
since Jeffrey steals my good ideas,

I should just give him a bad idea
and watch him take credit for that.

Well, Ms. Angela hates my clothes.

Give him an idea with those in it.

Right.

Even though you love my clothes.

Right.

So how many outfits do you think
you can make in a day?

Let's say .

I'd say , but my dad's using my
sewing machine to make a new saddle.

Right.

Who is it?

It's me, Alex.

Oh, I didn't see you.

My door's closed. Come on in.

What have you got?

I have another idea I wanna give you.

Fashion for people
who are not into fashion.

Isn't that just any clothing store
with the word "barn" in the name?

No, it's for those people who are after
a totally, completely unique look.

A look so outrageous

that only people who have rewired their
brain could feel good about wearing it.

Tasty. Why don't you get me
some sketches?

I can do even better.

By this time tomorrow,
I could organise a fashion show right here.

Fashion show. Extra tasty.

And you know, I could get Ms. Angela
to come and almost be interested.

Well, aren't you just full of good ideas?

We are bursting with flavour.

You shouldn't be embarrassed.

I'm sure a lot of guys in gym class
shower in their underwear.

No. I'm the only one.

There are some times
when you should lie.

To me and everyone.
And this is one of those times.

Oh, my gosh, there she is. Hide me.

Justin.

Justin. Oh, Justin.

There you are.

Nice hiding place.

You know, your brother said
some cool stuff about you the other day.

He makes a lot of that stuff up.

You mean like playing
with action figures and stuff?

Because I thought
that was really awesome.

Oh, that.
Well, that's the cold, hard truth.

Good.

So I was wondering,
are you busy Friday night?

Me?

Friday?

What's up?

Well, I have two tickets
to Tears of Blood, and I was thinking...

Say no more. I'm in.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Okay, great.

So be at my house at : .

I'm going out with Millie on Friday.

How's that for a guy who showers
in his underwear? You might wanna try it.

Harper, thank you for creating
the most horrible clothes I've ever seen.

You're welcome.
What are best friends for?

Oh, are you going on the runway too?

No.

I know.

No, no, no.
Don't wanna ruin the surprise.

Everyone is very excited
about the presentation. And so am I.

Well, people are gonna be talking
about this for quite some time.

Jeffrey, can we get started?

I'm so excited
to see all of your great ideas.

You know, Ms. Angela, about that.

I was reading my horoscope,

and it's very important
that I do one good thing today.

I'm giving credit where credit is due.

And what you're about to see
is entirely our intern, Alex Russo's, idea.

What? Now you give me credit?

That's not the plan.
Ms. Angela, we're all a big team here.

Ideas bounce around,

and which one lands in whose head,
you never do know.

This one is all Jeffrey's.

Alex, stop.

You were right
when you talked to me earlier.

That plus my horoscope
equals this is Alex's idea, percent.

Would somebody please
show me something?

Oh, this will be something, all right.

Just give me one minute, please.

Harper, change of plans.
We need to change the models.

Jeffrey decided to give me credit
for this whole thing.

Wait, that's good then.
Isn't that what you wanted all along?

Yes, but I wanna take credit
for something Ms. Angela would like.

- Oh, she's gonna hate these.
- I know.

And now,
something that was Alex Russo's idea.

Wait, no. This can't happen. I have
to do something to make you look good.

What do you mean?
I just got the whites of my eyes whitened.

I can't...

How can anybody think
with that junk on?

Oh, I hope I have enough time
to do this.

Wait.

I have all the time in the world.
It's frozen.

Okay.

Oh, Charley horse. Charley horse.

Go, go, go, work it.
Come on now, ladies. Work it.

Hey, where's your big pineapple?

And she was a butterfly.

Oh, this is all wrong.

I just made bad outfits differently bad.

What is this?

It looks like they're half-dressed.

Fashion for the non-fashionable.

It's so unfashionable,
it brings out your under beauty.

Yes.

That's exactly what it does.

I love it.

- You do?
- Well, yes.

Can't you tell?

The way I'm bursting.

Great job, Alex.

I'm going to give you
the highest possible praise.

You are not fired
from your unpaid internship.

Oh, Alex, I have big plans for you.

Actually, I have my own plans.

Harper?

I quit.

And we're gonna go eat.

In the kitchen.

And we don't care who watches.

Oh, hey, Justin. You're right on time.

Yeah. Tears of Blood
is gonna be awesome.

I bet they're gonna open with
their hit song, "Crying Blood for You."

I know. I know.

Oh, am I wearing too much perfume?

No. Perfect.

Perfect amount.

Good. Because my boyfriend says
that I wear too much sometimes.

Boy-who?

Thank you so much for babysitting.

Benji? Come meet Justin.

Baby-what?

Hi, Justin.

This is my cousin, Benji.

Hi, Benji.

Hi, boyfriend.

Okay, we'll be home by .

We'll be here.

Hey, did you bring your action figures?

No.

That's okay. I got lots.

- Do you have Aqua Avenger?
- Yeah.

Okay. I'll be him.

Yes.