01x02 - Heavy Meddle/Making the Case

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪

- The Loud Family trophy case.

My sisters have done
some pretty

impressive stuff
to get in here.

There are Lynn's
soccer trophies,

Lola's pageant crowns,

Lisa's Junior Nobel Prize.

Even Lily's
won her thumb-sucking contests.

And then there's me.
[sighs]

I've tried everything
to get into this case.

[triumphant music starts
and stops]

[crickets chirping]

[crowd groans]

[siren blips]

- And the winner of the Little
Miss Cutie Pie Pageant is

Liiiiinnnn...dsey Sweetwater!

[cheers and applause]

- But now I finally
have my chance.

The fifth grade video contest.

Whoever's video
gets the most votes

wins this beauty.

[exhales]

- You really think
you're going to win, Lincoln?

- With what I have planned,
I'm a shoe-in.

- You said the same thing
about the Cutie Pie pageant.

- I was robbed!

Grab your camera.

Are we rolling?

Hey, fifth grade,
Lincoln Loud here.

Ever wonder what happens
when 672 breath mints

meet 88 gallons of diet soda?

Well, you're about to find out!

[upbeat rock music]

[cat yowls]

♪

- That was amazing!

You're right,
everyone's gonna vote for this.

- Why isn't anybody voting
for this?

- Maybe 'cause they're
all voting

for this HamstaCam video.

[hamster wheel squeaks]

- 50 votes?

Pshh! What's so great
about some dumb hamster?

[Geo chitters]

Not you, Geo.
You're awesome.

- Hey, we got a vote!

No, wait, it's a comment.

- "Nice try,
but you should go

"to your big sister's site
for some tips.

Her videos are sick."
- Sick?

Oh, no!
Do you think they have a virus?

- It means awesome, Clyde.

Click the link.

Luan Out Loud's Comedy Channel.

Cute, but how many people
want to watch Luan--

50,000 followers?

Clyde, do you know
what this means?

- People waste a lot of time
on the Internet?

- No, it means Luan can help us
win the video contest.

Come on!
- Uh-huh.

- Pretty sick, right?

- That means awesome.

- Yeah, not in this case.
- What?

- Sorry, Linc,
stunts are so last year.

If you want to win the contest,
you have to make funny videos.

- Well, how do I make those?

- Easy, you just
follow my one simple rule.

Keep your camera on
at all times

because you never know
when you'll strike comedy gold.

Ooh, like this.

- Ah, come on!

Erase that.

- Don't worry, Clyde,

I would never post it
without your permission.

Besides, I said comedy gold,
not digging for gold.

- We've had the camera on
all day.

Where exactly
is this comedy gold?

Clyde, are you listening
to me?

- Sorry, Lincoln,
I was just worried that Lynn

was going to accidentally
step on that rake,

resulting in a series
of escalating mishaps.

- That's great, Clyde, but--
series of escalating mishaps?

- 56, 57, 58, 59--

ouch!

[screams]

- That was hilarious!

- Let's go upload it.

This is gonna get a ton
of votes.

- I don't know, Clyde,
enough votes to beat HamstaCam?

- HamstaCam!

- If we struck comedy gold
with one sister,

with ten
we'll have comedy Fort Knox!

[both laugh evilly]

- Just like me idol,
Mick Swagger.

All right!

[pants rip]
Oh!

Ooh, drafty.

[both giggle]

- Oh, Edwin,

I know you're forbidden
to love a mortal like me,

but I can't resist your
piercing gaze,

your sparkly skin,
your icy lips.

Mmm!

- Hm, maybe something like this
is a little too personal.

- HamstaCam just
got ten more votes.

- HamstaCam!

Eh, it's not that personal.
Keep rolling.

♪

[flatulence]

- [snoring]

♪

[flatulence]

♪

- Oh!

♪

[flatulence]

[window squeaks]

- Ahh, Lori's toots.

It's like music to my ears.

- Now this is gonna
beat HamstaCam.

Let's go upload it.

♪

[overlapping excited chatter]

- Lincoln, your video rocks.
You've got my vote.

- Man, Lucy and that sculpture?

What a weirdo!

- And how about Lori?

- You mean Miss Toots-a-lot?

She should see a doctor
about that.

[laughter]

- So embarrassing.

- Embarrassing?

- Yeah, my sisters

would pulverize me
if I posted a video like that.

- Pulverize?

- You can't get pulverized,
Lincoln.

I'd never be able to find
another best friend.

- You won't have to.

After I win the trophy
on Friday,

I'll just delete the video.

- Just in case.
We had a good run, buddy.

- Don't worry, Clyde.
My sisters will never know.

[dramatic music]

- They know.

[overlapping angry chatter]

- Wait, wait, wait!
Let me explain.

- You've got exactly three
seconds before we pulverize you.

- [pops knuckles]
[stopwatch ticks]

- There was this video contest
at school

and I really wanted to win.

- You showed my sleep face
for some stupid contest?

- I just wanted to have a trophy

to put in the case
like you guys.

- You think you deserve a trophy
for that, bro?

- No, I don't deserve it.

Look, I'll delete the video!

- Too late, Lincoln, the damage
has already been done.

- You made me look like a fool!

- You made me look like a freak.

- You made me look like I fart!

And for the record,
it was these shoes!

See?
[grunts]

Of course it's not working now.

- Lori, I'm sorry!

Wait!

Luna, let me explain.
- [playing guitar]

Can't hear you, bro!

- Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!

- You literally disgust me.

- Yeah!
Ugh!

- Lola, Lana, please!

- You're uninvited
to my birthday party, forever!

- [sighs]

- I want to slam it, too!

- Lisa! Lisa?

"Vengeance shall be mine."

Guys, come on,
I'm your brother.

- [growls]

- I have no brother.

I know I say that a lot,

but this time I mean it.

- Luan, you got to help me.

I was only doing what you said.

- You broke the unspoken rule.

Never post a video
without the person's permission.

- Why didn't you tell me that?

- Because it's unspoken.

- [sighs]
How am I going to fix this?

Well, good-bye, trophy.

- Deleted.

- Well, HamstaCam,
looks like you win.

[hamster wheel squeaks]

I guess it's hard for anyone

to have the camera
on you all the time.

Camera on you all the time!
That's it!

Luan, you said
your one simple rule

is to always have your camera
on, right?

- That is correct,
Captain Obvious.

- Then I'm gonna need to
borrow all your footage of me.

- You mean Comedy Fort Knox?

- Hey, fifth grade,
Lincoln Loud here.

Ever wonder what happens
when one brother

messes up and embarrasses
all ten of his sisters?

I didn't think you would.

But this is how you fix it.

Oh, and for legal reasons,
all videos were provided

by Luan Out Loud LLC, all rights
reserved, patent pending.

Let 'er rip.

[upbeat rock music]

Well, Cristina, I can't say
I'm surprised you asked me out.

I've seen the way you look at me
in the lunch line.

[groovy music plays on boom box]

♪

[upbeat rock music]

♪

- Bentley,
will you accept this rose?

- [sobbing]

Oh, this manly thing?

Yes, it is a chest hair.

The first of many, I'm sure.

♪

[flatulence]

♪

♪ Grooming the chest hair,
I'm grooming the chest hair ♪

♪ I'm grooming the-- ♪
Aah!

Come on, Cristina,

I've thought about it.

You've thought about it.

Why are we fighting this?

♪

[laughter]

- Oh, Lincoln.

- And just to be clear,

we're laughing at you,
not with you.

- I thought your sisters' video
was embarrassing,

but this takes the cake.

And still to lose out
to a hamster?

Ouch!

- [sighs]

[somber music]

♪

[sighs]
I sure hope that worked.

[dramatic music]

It didn't work.
- Lincoln...

- I know I embarrassed you
and I can't undo that,

and I'm sorry,
but the least I could do

was embarrass myself
right along with you.

That way we'd all be even.

- Even?
You think this makes us even?

- Well, I was trying to--

- Yours was way worse.

- Yeah, that video
was hysterical.

[overlapping chatter]

- So we're good?
- We're good, brother.

- Sorry you didn't win
the trophy.

- But we really appreciate

what you did and thought
you deserved something.

- [gasps]
Wow!

Thanks, guys.

[upbeat rock music]

♪

"Most Improved Brother."
I did it.

My sisters no longer despise me,
Cristina is switching classes,

and I finally made the case.

[flatulence]

- It was my shoe!

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our
love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with 11 kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house