03x22 - Be Stella My Heart

[bunniefuu]

- Liam, would you be interested
in my hand-cut sushi?

It's yellowtail.

- [chuckles] You know I am!

Hey, you want my deviled eggs?
They're farm-to-table.

- Lincoln, is that
your dad's homemade pudding?

- It is.
What are you offering?

- One bologna sandwich,
fridge-to-table.

- Throw in your buffalo chips,
and we've got a deal.

- So no takers on my tuna kit?

- Your mom's still buying
those, huh?

- Guys, here comes
the new girl--

the one I met on the bus!

[dreamy doo-wop music]

- Ooh-whee.
She sure is easy on the eyes.

- Oh, yeah.

And I hear she speaks
three languages.

- Have you guys heard
her laugh?

It's so...contagious.

- I like the way
her hair smells.

What?
Too far?

- Here she comes!
Be cool, be cool!

- Hey, guys.

Anybody wanna trade
for my carrots?

[awkward music]

- [gulps, chokes]

- [yelps, coughs]

- Uh...right.

So, yeah, I'll just, uh...yeah.

- Wonder what that
was all about.

- I don't know, but I'm glad
we played it so cool.

- Okay, guys.
Snake formation.

- [hissing]

- Keep an eye out
for Girl Jordan.

Last time, she blindsided us.

- Hey, guys.
What do you have going on here?

Some kind of
defensive maneuver?

Can I get in on this?

[awkward music]

O...kay.
Well, good luck.

- Seriously, why does she keep
coming over to us?

[grunts]
- Aw, come on, Girl Jordan!

Coach didn't even blow
the whistle yet.

- I think we can all agree

I should handle
the Bunsen burner

after what happened last time.
- Yeah.

Rusty and his aftershave.

- What can I say?
It sets the ladies on fire too.

- Hey, guys.
Need another lab partner?

Otherwise, I have to be
with Mrs. Johnson.

Not that she doesn't seem cool,
but you know what I mean.

- You b*rned off
my moustache, Zach.

- It was, like,
two hairs, Rusty.

- I still don't get it.

Why does Stella keep
coming over to talk to us?

That's three times in one day.

- Maybe she's trying
to sell us a time-share.

- [gasps] Maybe she's spying
on us for the CIA!

- Guys, what you don't know
about women

could fill a library.

She obviously has a crush
on one of us.

- Now that you mention it,
I was picking up some vibes.

- [chuckles] Dang!
I wonder who she likes.

- I guess we'll just have
to wait

till she makes her next move.

- I hope I have time
to grow back my 'stache.

[rousing ' s rock music]

♪ ♪

Anyone want
some breath spray?

Sour green apple.
It's a total lady-k*ller.

- I'll take some.

That tuna kit didn't
do much for my breath.

- Here she comes.
Play it cool.

- Hey, guys.

Lincoln, do you wanna go to the
Burpin' Burger after school?

- Yes!
I knew it was me!

I mean, sure, I think I'm free.

- Great.
My family's on a health kick,

and I'm really craving
some fries.

I'll meet you by the buses.

- Ah, lucky!
- You dog!

- Congratulations, buddy.
- [scoffs] It's always Lincoln.

- What can I say?

I mean, I am having
a really good hair week.

You should've seen her
on that claw machine!

She was a boss.
- Man, she's cool.

- And get this: we both prefer
curly fries to regular.

It's like we're meant
for each other.

- Well, everyone
prefers curly fries.

- Oh, here she comes!

[dreamy doo-wop music]

- Probably gonna ask about
date number two, eh, eh?

♪ ♪

- Hey, Rusty.

- Ow!
- Do you wanna go

to the flea market
with me later?

- Totally, totally.
- Cool.

- Gah!

- What was that, man?

Stella and I have
a thing going on.

- What do you want me to say?

I guess she decided she prefers
red sauce over white sauce.

And then we went out
for ice cream,

and it turns out,
we both like waffle cones.

- Well, everyone likes
waffle cones.

- Hey, check it out, Rusty!

[dreamy doo-wop music]

- Probably wants to lock
me down for the whole weekend.

- Hey, Liam.

You wanna go to the mall
after school?

I know this sounds weird,
but I really like

trying on wigs
at the wig store.

- [grunts]

Uh, don't sound weird to me.

I'm in!

- What the heck, Liam?

- Tough break, red sauce.

Guess she's more into
biscuits and gravy now.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[groans] I'm so confused.

Why does Stella keep
asking out all of us?

What is her deal?

[TV playing]

- Male sibling lacking melanin,

care to join us in viewing
"The Dream Boat"?

- Eh, I'm not really
in the mood.

- I'm really torn.

They're all great guys,

but I'm still not sure who
I want to be my first mate.

Guess I'll just wait
till one of them

blows me out of the water.

- Oh! So that's
what Stella's doing.

Move over.

[bell rings]

[' s rock music]

♪ ♪

- [sneezes]

- Well, well, well.

Look at you, Mr. Date Khakis.

- It's laundry day.
I couldn't find my jeans.

What about you guys?
- What?

I happened to have a coupon
for teeth whitening.

Ee!
[all exclaim]

- And I always wear
this much cologne.

- And I've been meaning
to ditch my glasses.

- Okay, guys, let's be real.

We all watched
"The Dream Boat" last night,

We know Stella hasn't
decided who she likes,

and we're all trying to
"blow her out of the water."

- You know it!
- Darn tootin'.

- You're right.
- Well, uh,

this is awkward.
- It doesn't have to be.

We can be gentlemen about this.
- Yeah.

- Sure, let's be gentlemen.
- Okay, I see that.

[dance music playing
over headphones]

[tense music]

- [panting]

Stella!

[grunts]

[both panting]

[rock music]

- Ah! Too bright!

♪ ♪

- [shouts]

[grunts]
- Yeah!

♪ ♪

- Girl Jordan, I'll trade you
my pudding for a meatball.

Thanks!

[shouts]

- [in slow motion] No!

- What?
You said she likes red sauce.

- Low blow, man.
This is dry-clean only.

♪ ♪

- In case anyone's interested,
I'm out of the snake formation.

- Well, I actually left it
earlier than you.

I just didn't tell you.

- The snake formation
is officially dead.

- Fine by me.
- Me too!

[whistle blows]

- That's for the meatball.

Ow!
- That's for the mustard.

Oof!
- That's for blinding me.

- Ah!
- Take that!

[all shouting,
punches smacking]

[whistle blows]

- Now, how did this happen?

I thought you boys
had a snake formation.

- Those days are over.

- Well, that's a shame.

I always thought
it was so nice,

the way you all looked out
for each other.

- She's right.

What are we doing?
Are we really gonna

throw away our friendship
over a girl?

- Well, that ain't what I want.

- Me neither.
You guys are my support circle.

- I honestly don't think I can
make new friends at this point.

- I can't believe we ever
let things get this far.

- And the crazy thing is,
none of this is even our fault.

It's Stella's for pitting us
against each other.

- Yeah.
- You're right!

- I say we go give her
the what for right now.

Snake formation, fellers?

[all hissing]

- Stella, we need
to talk to you.

- Oh, hey, guys.
What's up?

- Oh, I think you know.

We're through
with your mind games.

Uh, thanks, Lincoln.

- My what?
- Don't act all innocent.

You nearly broke up
our friendship.

- Asking us all out on dates
then making us compete

to see who would
"blow you out of the water"?

- Blow me out of the water?
What are you talking about?

- Doesn't matter.
We're done.

You couldn't choose
one of us for a boyfriend,

so now you don't get any of us.

- [laughs] What?

I'm sorry for laughing.
It's just...

you guys are so off base.

I don't want a boyfriend.
I just wanted to be friends...

with all of you.

- Well, why didn't you just
say that in the first place?

- Uh, you may recall that
every time I walked up

to you guys as a group,
you acted like total weirdos.

That's why I was trying to get
to know you one-on-one--

or what you call "dates."
all: Ah.

- You know, maybe
this was a bad idea.

It seems like you guys
just can't handle

being friends with a girl.

I'm gonna go hang out with
my lab partner, Mrs. Johnson.

- Oh, man, we really messed up.

- It's too bad,
'cause Stella's really fun.

I was hoping she'd teach me
how to master the claw machine.

- Yeah, and I was hoping
she'd help me pick out

a wig for my mee-maw.

- And she would've made
a great addition

to our snake formation.
She could've been the rattle.

- Well, maybe if we go
tell her how sorry we are,

she'll give us another chance.

Hey, Stella, we just wanna
apologize for how we acted.

- Yeah.
You were right.

Just 'cause you're a gal
and we're fellers

don't mean you had to be
fixing for a romance.

- What we don't know about
women could fill a library.

- We just hope
you can forgive us,

because we all really liked
hanging out with you--

as a friend.

Um, okay, well, that's cool.

I guess we'll just,
uh, see you around.

- Hang on.

Lincoln, what's in
that thermos?

- My dad's homemade
tomato soup.

- I'll trade you
my fruit salad for it.

- Deal!

- Hey, how about swapping
them there rice cakes

for some hush puppies?
- Definitely.

- Any chance you'd trade
your juice box

for a tuna kit?
- Sorry, dude.

That's where I draw the line.
[laughter]

- After lunch, we can work out
our new snake formation.

- Just wanna throw
it out there:

have you guys ever considered
a scorpion formation?

It's % more effective.

boys: Ooh!
- We're listening.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪