02x31 - Job Insecurity

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ It's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud House ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- Dad must have been
so caught up making us breakfast

that he forgot his work stuff.

Luna, will you run
Dad's laptop up to him?

- And leave my breakfast
sandwich with you animals?

That's a neg, dude.

- I'll do it.
I trust you guys.

- You guys, not cool.

As the oldest,
I totally get her sandwich.

- Hey, Dad, we saw you forgot
your laptop at home and--

[keys clacking]

Oh, I can't believe
you get to have plastic surgery,

but I can't get
my belly button pierced?

- Uh, you must be looking
for Lynn Loud Sr.

I'm sorry, but he
doesn't work here anymore.

He's been gone
for three weeks.

all: Three weeks?

- Based on my calculations,

it appears our father's
employment was terminated

immediately following
the most recent

Take Your Kids to Work Day.

- You don't think we had
anything to do with it, do you?

[laughter]

[heavy rock music]

- Whoo!

[kids groaning]
- We're literally the worst.

- Now I can't even eat
that delicious sandwich he made.

I feel too guilty.

- [munching, swallows]
Me too.

- Wait, if Daddy hasn't
had a job for three weeks,

where's he even going when he
leaves the house every morning?

- I believe I can locate him.

I recently implanted
a tracking chip

in both our parental units.

- A tracking chip?

You didn't put those in us,
did you?

[device beeping]

- [wickedly] No.

[device warbling, beeping]

Lori, turn due southeast.

We appear to have arrived
at Father's location.

- The Aloha Comrade

Hawaiian/Russian
fusion restaurant?

What's he doing here?

- Poor guy must be
drowning his sorrows

in Humuhumunukunukuapua'a
borscht.

all: What?

- Have you guys really
never heard of borscht?

- [humming]

[tracker beeping]

[kids gasp]

- Dad's a dishwasher?

- But he hates doing dishes.

- Yeah, and now
that's his job--

because of us.

- This is worse than the time

we ruined his
th birthday party.

- And his college reunion.

- And his roller dance
competition.

- And his colonoscopy.

- Guys, Dad does
so much for us,

and all we do is
make his life worse.

- It's true.
We really need to fix this.

And I know how.

We're gonna get Dad
a new and better job.

- Yeah!
- Totally!

- We just all need
to work together!

- Oh, guys, someone threw out

a perfectly good
pineapple stroganoff.

[munches]
Mmm.

- [snaps fingers] I've got
the perfect job for Daddy--

figure skater!

[camera shutters clicking]

- No way!

Soccer goalie!

- [grunting]

- Uh-uh.
b*at poet.

- Darkness, despair...

[plays bongos]
Lack of hair.

- May I remind you,

Father only has one
monetizable skill set--

information technology,

street name--IT.

- Oh, what about this?

"Computer expert needed
for Internet start-up."

- I thought someone
already started the Internet.

- This is good.

Let's fill out an application
and send it in.

And...done.

[chimes]

- Yes!
They liked Dad's application

and want him to come in
for an interview!

- Wait, what if
he doesn't get the gig?

Then we'll have gotten
his hopes up for nothing.

- How about we
get the job for him,

then surprise him with it?

- So you're saying we clone
Dad while he's sleeping

and send the clone
to the interview?

Great idea!

I underestimated you,
Lincoln.

- Actually,
I was thinking one of us

could just put on this wig
and pretend to be Dad.

- Oh.
So I overestimated you.

- I know the perfect person
to play Dad.

[playful bluegrass music]

- So, Mr. Loud,

why should we hire you?

- Because I've literally
mastered technology.

[cell phone rings]

Hi, boo-boo bear.

Carol said what?

Can I get some privacy?

- You should hire me because
I'm responsible and mature.

This tie is strangling me!

Oh, I'm sweating in this suit.

These pants
are giving me a rash!

Ahh.
Now, where were we?

[thud]

- Lynn Loud Sr.

Pleased to meet you.

[electricity crackles]

What's the buzz around here?

[laughs] Get it?

- Who are we kidding?

None of us can pull this off.

- There must be somebody
who can make a convincing Dad.

- Ooh, look at me,
I'm Lynn Loud Sr.

I can leave my trash bins out
as long as I want.

- Mr. Grouse, could you
do us a small favor?

- Hard pass.

- Wait, would a tray of my dad's
lasagna change your mind?

- No.

But two would.
[chuckles]

Mmm, mmm!

I'd like to be alone
with my lasagna.

- These are for later,
Mr. Grouse.

First, we need to
get you trained

so you'll fit
into the world of IT.

- Ah, you kids
and your fancy abbreviations.

In my day, we just said, "It."

- Okay, Mr. Grouse.

Here's a laptop.
Boot it up.

- Will you settle
for a penny loafer?

[whistle blows]
- No, no.

Not like that.

Like this.
[laptop chimes]

- Okay, now open a window.

- Eh, all right.

- [laughs]
Good one.

But wrong.

Like this.

- Now you need to empty
the trash on your computer.

- Eh, whatever you say.

- Yeah, I walked
right into that one.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Yo, IT dude--

I mean, how are you, sir?

My computer's acting
totally bogus--

I-I mean broken.

So, yeah, can you fix it?

- Well, let's see.

Have you rebooted?

Have you checked
your Wi-Fi connection?

Oh, ah, it's clear as daylight.

You need to update your drivers.

- I think he's ready.

- Almost.

- It's been three hours.

Where is he?

- Passing
the Cluverius residence,

about to make a right
onto Franklin.

[device beeping]

- How'd you know that?

- Just a wild guess.

- Oh, sorry, kids.

Psych!
I got the job!

[kids cheering]

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a date
with two hot dishes...

of lasagna, for Pete's sake!

all:
Good morning, Dad!

- Dang it.
What's going on, kids?

- Get in.
We're driving you to work.

- Uh, okay.

But there's something
I have to tell you.

I have a new job now.

- Yes, you do.

[engine turning over]

[engine revving]
- Oh, dang it!

[light music]

Wait, this isn't
the Aloha Comrade.

- We know.
Say hello to your new office.

- We felt bad
about getting you fired

from your old IT job,

so we got you a new one.

- Uh, guys, you didn't
get me fired from my old job.

I quit.

- Why?

So you could wash icky dishes?

- Mm, not exactly.

I'm training
to become a chef--

my dream job!

And washing dishes
is how you start.

I didn't want to tell you guys

until I passed
my training period.

all: Oh.

- It's the colonoscopy
all over again.

- It--it's okay, kids.
You meant well.

And now that you know,
you can just

take me back
to the restaurant.

- Uh, we kind of already
quit for you.

- You listen to me, bub!

No one makes my daddy
wash dishes!

He's done with your stinky job
in your stinky restaurant!

And another thing--

[inhales deeply]

[hair dryer whirring loudly]

- Oh, dear.

[bell dings]
- Don't worry, Dad.

We'll talk your boss
into rehiring you.

- Yeah!
- To the Aloha Comrade!

- Punch it, Lori!
- Wait!

[gulping]

[rock music]

Oh, that was hot.

[tires screech]

- Oh, no!

This is my last clean plate.

- Sir.

Please give our dad
his job back.

This was all
a misunderstanding.

- What is there
to misunderstanding?

First, I get the rudest
call of my life.

Then I have no one to help
with the breakfast rush.

So my answer is nyet.

- Yay!

- Nyet means "no."

- Aw.

- Please don't punish our dad.

This was our fault.

- Yeah, we're always
messing up.

- All we do is
make his life worse.

- Whoa, whoa, kids,
what are you talking about?

You make my life better
every day.

This is just a job.

Don't worry.
I can find another one.

[tender music]

- [sniffling]

I can't say nyet to a man
with such a nice family.

You got your job back!

all: Yay!

- Yes, my daddy's gonna
wash the dishes!

[echoing]
Dishes, dishes, dishes!

- Ah, you!
Whoa! Ah!

[crash]
Ooh!

Ow, my cooking arm.

- Chef Sergei!

- Hmm, appears to be
a hairline fracture.

You'll need to
keep that immobilized

for at least three weeks.

- I'm sorry, Lynn.

I know I just
gave your job back,

but I'm going to have to
shut down for a while.

- [sighs]

[bell dings]
- Maybe not.

[upbeat rock music]

- OMgosh, you guys!

The dining room is packed!

- Everyone loves Dad's Kona
caviar breakfast sandwiches.

- Mmm, Lynn,

you don't need to train
to be a chef.

You already are one!

Forget about the dishwashing.

I'm making you my co-chef.

[kids cheering]

Come with me.

I want the customers to know
who made this delicious meal.

- Ooh, Sergei didn't finish
his breakfast sandwich.

all: Dibs!

[keys clacking]

- There you go, all fixed!

- Uh, great, thanks.

Could you log out for me?

- Sure.

[grunts]
Good thing I brought a log.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪
- ♪ Loud House ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud House ♪

- ♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪