01x17 - Ties That Bind

[bunniefuu]

♪

[birds chirping]

[rock music]

♪

- How do you make an egg roll?

I don't know,
how do you make an egg roll?

You push it.
Good one, Mr. Coconuts,

but your delivery
was a little wooden.

[laughs]

[music stops]
[cat meows]

[dog barks]
[clanging]

- Is that my shirt?

Take it off.

- I can't,
there are boys here.

- Ah, coconuts.

- [grunts]

[grunting]

- See, Linc, the key
to parkour is momentum.

Never stop moving.
Door jump.

- Door jump. Whoa!
[cat meows]

I'm okay.
I'm just gonna lie here

a sec on the nice,
soft floor.

Welcome to a typical Saturday
morning in the Loud house.

Sure it's crazy,
but that's the way we like it,

all of us.

- is way too many.
I can't take it anymore.

- But we can't
get rid of them.

I'm too attached.
- [gasps]

- I know you are honey,

but they're just
so obnoxious and loud.

- Are they talking about us?
[crashes]

[car horn honks]
[chattering]

- Stop,
you're stretching my shirt!

- I'm sorry,
but my mind is made up.

I want all of them
out of the house

and on the curb in time
for trash pickup tomorrow.

- Trash pickup?

- But I love
my tie collection.

Cool neckwear is my thing.

- Honey,
they're an embarrassment.

- Not this one,

it's like a dance party
around your neck.

[humming]
- [groans]

- That is literally the dumbest
thing you have ever said.

- Yeah, why would they want
to get rid of us?

[dog growls, whines]

all: Oh.

- Whatever, Mr. Paranoid.

This is a waste
of valuable texting time.

- Lori, wait. I'm serious.

Come listen for yourself.

- But I thought
you loved them.

- Frankly, dear,
I didn't like the first one,

and the next thing
I know we've got .

- It's true...Mom and Dad
are getting rid of us.

- [all talking at once].

- I'm gonna go down there and
give them a piece of my mind!

- Guys, shhh.
Quiet down.

- I'm gonna
lose my princess bed.

Don't you tell me
to quiet down!

- This is what got us in trouble
in the first place.

The yelling, and the fighting,
and the loudness.

- Lincoln's right.
We have to be quiet

and perfectly well behaved.

- If we all work together,

maybe we can convince Mom
and Dad not to get rid of us.

Now who's with me?
[all yell] We are!

[all whisper]
We are.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Sorry, love,

time to go acoustic.

[rings]

- So sorry, Mr. Coconuts.

Without me
you're just a hand.

[muffled]
Hey, I bring the funny.

You're always--

♪

- [exhales deeply]

♪ ♪

- Here's your shirt back.

- Thanks.

Wait, that's my sweater.

- Remember the plan.

- And it looks
so much cuter on you.

- [cries]

[laughs]

- Oh, my gosh,
Luan, are you okay?

Help, guys,
I think Luan's trapped.

- Ladies first.

- No, dear twin,
after you.

- You're too kind,
dear Lola,

but I must insist
you go first.

- I shan't hear of it.

- And I would never forgive
myself

if I went before you.
- [whimpering]

- Oh, please,
age before beauty.

You are two minutes older.
- [panting]

both: Oh, dear brother,
you go first.

- Thanks.

[groans]

- Honey, please,
won't you reconsider?

- [groans]

Guys, Mom and Dad
are at the vent again.

- Okay, maybe
I judged them unfairly.

Forget what I said about
getting rid of all of them.

- It worked.
both: We did it. We get to stay.

- Oh, joy. What a relief.

- Speaking of relief,
everyone out, please.

[overlapping cheers]

- I knew
they'd change their mind.

- Ooh, invisible rope.

- You mean it?
I can keep them all?

- I didn't say that,

but I will let you
keep your favorite.

- His favorite?

- But they're all
equally great.

How can I pick just one?

- Come on, there must be one
that stands out above the rest.

- I've got some
serious standing out to do--

right after I pee.

[groovy music]

♪

[sneaky music]

♪

- Lincoln, where are you
going with those pancakes?

- Uh...

- And why did you spell out

"World's Best Dad"
with chocolate chips?

- You can read?

- I am more than
just a pretty face, Lincoln.

Now, you're up to something,

and I am gonna
find out what it is.

- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

- But on the up side, we're
not all getting kicked out.

One of us gets to stay.

- And you thought
it'd be you?

- What happened
to we all work together?

- I'm sorry.
I just kind of panicked.

- Dudes, Mom and Dad
are talking again.

- I don't know,

maybe I'll keep
the musical one.

- Are you kidding,
that one makes my ears bleed.

- Way harsh, Mom.

- Well, I definitely don't need
the dark one. So dreary.

Good for a funeral,
but what else really, right?

- [gasps]
- [laughs]

- What about the one
with the hockey sticks?

- Eh, never been a fan.
- [gasps]

- Same with the filthy one.
- [scoffs]

- How about the funny one?

- Never made me laugh.

- Ugh, now, the pink one
I could definitely do without.

- You will pay for this.

- And the littlest one is
just crying to be thrown out.

Then we've got
the dumb one.

- What?
- You know, I'd also feel

a little guilty about
tossing out the gifted one.

- Oh, who's gonna know?

So where does
that leave us?

- I believe
it leaves you with Lincoln,

but what do I know?
I'm just the gifted one.

- [all talking at once]

- Well, son, now that we've
cleared out the clutter,

we've got a lot
of extra space in the house,

and it's all yours.

- Have fun with it.

[glass breaking]

[royal music]

[rock music]

♪

[engines rev]
[tires screech]

- Welcome to
the only child club.

♪ ♪

- Wow, I've always wondered
what it would be like

to be an only child.
- You what?

- Well, I mean being an only
child is gonna be terrible.

What am I gonna
do without you guys?

- Well,
I guess we better go pack.

I'm still trying to figure out
who the dumb one is.

- I wonder if I could fit
a water slide in here.

- I'm sorry, honey,

but I just can't pick
a favorite, it's too hard.

- Fine, can we at least
get rid of just one?

Just one, I'm begging you.
- Okay, we'll get rid of--

the one with the white hair.

You know, I'm not
even sure if it's mine.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- You mean
your Easter tie?

Honey,
no one calls it a "hare,"

it's a bunny rabbit,
but I agree.

It's hideous.

- You may be wondering
why I assembled you all here.

- Uh, yeah.
You've got five minutes.

I literally have an entire
wardrobe to pack.

- Don't bother.
[sighs]

I overheard another conversation
between Mom and Dad.

- What? You were snooping again?
- Wait.

Mom and Dad aren't choosing
a favorite kid to keep,

they're just
getting rid of one--me.

all: Aaaah!
- So I just

wanted to give you guys
my treasured possessions

before I, you know,
have to leave.

Lily, this is BunBun.

He needs two hugs a day,
and try to keep his ears clean.

Luan,
these are my rarest comics.

But they're limited editions.

- She's not taking them
because you're not leaving.

There's no way we're letting
Mom and Dad kick you out.

all: Yeah, you're staying.
- Really?

Even though I was going
to turn your rooms

into my own personal theme park?

- It was nice knowing you.

- Of course we won't let you go.

You're our only brother.
- Come on.

We're gonna march right
down there and tell Mom and Dad

you're staying.

- What the--
- [all talking at once]

- There's nothing wrong
with his white hair.

- White hare?
You kids like my Easter tie?

- Easter tie?
[high-pitch laugh]

- Yeah, it's great, right?

You know what, they all are.

Honey, I'm not getting rid
of any of these ties.

- Ties?

You guys have been
talking about ties?

- Of course. What did you think
we were talking about?

- Uh, nothing.

- We thought you were gonna
get rid of us.

Ooh...
- [laughs]

- We would never do that.

You're the best ten things
that ever happened to us.

- There's honey.
- Yep. Right.

[overlapping chatter]

[high-pitch laugh]

- Oof, Dad really should get
rid of that one.

[rock music]
[crashes]

♪

- Good one, Mr. Coconuts.

[crashes, toilet flushes]]
- Ah.

Looks like everything's back
to normal at the Loud house,

and my eavesdropping days
are over.

- What do you mean
you've got a bun in the oven?

[gasps]
You guys!

- You know I'm gluten free.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house