01x21 - House Music

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can
smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge,
push and shove ♪

♪ This is how
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud! Loud! Loud!

♪ Loud House!
- Boo boo.

- ♪

- LINCOLN: Guys, we gotta
figure out something.

The Family Fun Fair is tonight

and we got nothing
for the talent show.

- Oh, I know. How about
a family trapeze act?

- Just because you've
fractured every bone

from your maxilla to
your metatarsals,

it doesn't mean we want to.

- I know. How about
a family beauty pageant?

Never mind, that would take
years to prepare for.

- I say we wrestle alligators!

- BOTH: [grunting]

- Lana, that's
a terrible idea.

- You're right.

Calf roping
is much better.

- We need something
we can all do.

- Then let's do my idea.

- No, my idea.
- No, mine!

- No way.

- ALL: [arguing, smacking]

- [guitar strings twang]

- LUNA: I've got the answer!

Let's start a family band.

- But we literally
have no musical talent.

- Yeah, I couldn't carry
a tune if it had a handle.

[laughing]

- As my idol,
Mick Swagger, says,

"rock 'n roll isn't
about being the best,

it's about having fun."

Now, who wants
to have fun?

- ALL: [cheering]

- Uh, guys?
A little help?

- Oh, sorry, Lincoln.

[humming]

- [discordant music]

- Agh, what is that
horrific sound?

Is the cat fighting
the possum again?

- No, Dad, it's us.

We're starting a family band.
- DAD: Oh! Oh!

You know, your old man
used to be in a band,

although it ended on a...
on a sour note.

YOUNG DAD: [b*ating cowbell]
- [rock 'n roll music]

[music stops]
- Dude!

- BOTH: Dude!

- ALL: Dude!

You're outta the band.

- YOUNG DAD: [sobbing]

- ALL: Aw...

- Well, you can be
in our band.

- ALL: [chattering]

- DAD: Well, if you
all insist.

Ka-pow!
- [Velcro ripping]

- [grunting]
[b*ating cowbell]

Woo! Ha ha!

- I sincerely hope
that's not contagious.

- All right, dudes,
let's try busting out this jam.

It's called "Plastic Bag Blown
Through the Gutter of Life,"

lyrics by Lucy,

music by yours truly.

One, two.
One, two, three, four!

- [discordant music]
- [howling]

- Dudes! Charles
wants to sing lead.

- [howling]
- ALL: [laughing]

- [cellphone ringing]
- Yo, Chuck?

What's that?

- [howling continues]
- I...I can't hear you.

Hold on a sec.

You guys, keep practicing.

And don't forget--it's not
about being the best,

it's all about having fun.

- [British accent]
Oy, have you heard, mate?

Mick Swagger's in town.

He's gonna be scouting for local
talent at the Family Fun Fair.

- Mick in town?

This could be
my big break, man!

- [British accent] And now
I'd like to introduce

the greatest musical discovery
of my -year career--

Luna Loud!

- CROWD: [chanting]
Luna! Luna! Luna!

- Ah, Luna?

- Thanks for the call, brah.
I've got work to do.

- [discordant music]
- A lot of work.

- [howling continues]
- Okay, people, from the top.

This time, let's try
to step it up a notch.

- Um, I...I don't
have an instrument.

What should I play?

- Hm...

Oh, why don't you
sing backup?

All right, Louds.
One, two, three.

- ♪ Backup, backup, backup
- No, no, no, no!

No, Leni, you don't actually
sing the words "backup."

You sing what's on the page.

- Oh, got it.

♪ What's on the page

♪ What's on the page

♪ What's on the pa-age
- DAD: Ha, ha, ha!

- Uh, rocking, Dad.

Um, could you just
dial it back a bit?

- [tuba blaring]

- Can't get this
tuba to work-a!

- [inhales]
- [tuba note plays]

- [bell rings]
- Gee-oh!

- [blows raspberry]
- Nice tootin', Sis.

- KIDS: [laughing]

- Guys, can we focus,
please?

We need to--
- DAD: [grunting]

- Dad? Dad?

- [jazz music]
- That's it, Bro! You got it.

- DAD: [grunts]
- Dad?

- [jazz music]

- Oops!

- Eek!

- [cymbals clang]
- Ah!

- [expl*si*n]
- LILY: [giggling]

- LUNA: [growling]
No-o-o.

Dudes, this is the worst
rehearsal I've ever seen.

- But you said it didn't
matter if we were good.

- Forget about
what I said, Bro.

Mick Swagger's gonna
be at the show.

- DAD: Mick Swagger?
Sweet!

- No, it's not sweet.

This is my chance
to be discovered,

and you guys
are messing it up!

- DAD: [grunting]
[b*ating cowbell]

- Dad? Dad? Dad!

- DAD: [grunting]
[b*ating cowbell]

- That's it!
You are out of the band!

- ALL: [gasping]
- [echoing] Out of the band!

- DAD: [sobbing]

- What?

- You literally just
fired your own dad.

- I'm not gonna let Captain
Cowbell ruin my big chance.

Now let's get back to work.
We're gonna be here all day.

So if you guys have plans,
cancel them.

If you've gotta pee, hold it.

We really have to nail this!

- What? No way!

- ALL: [chattering]

- You're all out of my band!

- No, you're out of our band.

'Cause we're gonna play without
you and we're gonna have fun.

- Yeah, and we'll pee
whenever we want to.

- Fine by me.

You're all holding
me back anyway.

And when I'm on tour with Mick,
don't call me for tickets!

- [blows raspberry]
- Ohhhh!

Who needs them anyway?

Not me.

All I need is a new tune.
[strums guitar]

♪ They don't understand

♪ Girl's gotta have a band

[sighs]

♪ Time for me to go solo

♪ You know what they say

♪ YOLO

Aah!
Come on, Luna.

What are you thinking?

This is for Mick.

You just used
the word "YOLO"!

- [electric piano music]
- Nah, too pop-y.

[electric piano music]
- Nah, too depressing.

[electric piano music]

- Nah, too ' s!

[screams]

- [distant laughter]
- [discordant music]

- ♪ I stink

♪ And I can't write
a single song ♪

♪ Wow, there's a big cr*ck
in the ceiling ♪

Maybe I just need
a change of scenery.

- MAN: Aah!
- Oh, sorry, dude.

- [British accent]
No worries.

What are you writing?

- It's supposed
to be a song.

But I'm wicked blocked.

- Maybe I can help.

I've dabbled
in music myself.

Have a seat.

- You're gonna
finish that, brah?

- It's all yours.

So, what's going on?

- I really gotta
k*ll it with this song.

But everything
I write is garbage.

[chomping]

I actually tried
to rhyme with "YOLO."

- Oh!

- I know, right?

You mind?

- So, what's so important
about this song?

- I'm supposed to perform at
the Family Fun Fair tonight,

and Mick Swagger's
gonna be there.

It's my only chance
to impress him,

so I've gotta be
my very best.

- Oh, wasn't it Mick Swagger
who said "rock 'n roll

isn't about being the best,
it's about having fun"?

- Yeah.

- Well, when was
the last time you had fun?

- ALL: [laughing]
- [howling]

- Dude, I gotta go!

- [sheep baaing]
- KIDS: [laughing]

- MOM: Oh, look at my
little rock stars.

- My real genre
is death metal.

- MOM: So cute.

- LUNA: Dudes!

You got room for one more?

- What about
impressing Mick?

We don't wanna
"hold you back."

- I'm sorry about
all that stuff I said.

I acted like
a real bonehead today.

I forgot the one rule
of rock 'n roll.

It doesn't matter if I don't
play my best for Mick.

All that matters is having fun.

And the only time I have fun
is doing it with you guys.

So what do you say?

Will you take me back?

- Heck, yeah.

It wouldn't be
a family band without you.

- Grab some sheet music.

- [blows raspberry]
- ALL: [laughing]

- Wait. It's not
a family band yet.

Where's Dad?

- The place he always goes when
he's sad--the whirl-n-twirl.

- DAD: [sobbing]
- Dad, I'm sorry.

- DAD: [sobbing]
- Please come back to the band.

- DAD: [sobbing]
- It won't be fun--

- DAD: [sobbing]
- --without you.

- DAD: You mean it?
- Yes!

- DAD: Operator, stop this ride!
- [bell rings]

- [brakes screech]
- DAD: [groans]

Apology accepted!
- [Velcro ripping]

- Da, bom!
Do-chickee-da-da-da!

The bell is back!

- Mom, we're gonna
need you, too.

- MOM: Oh, honey, I don't
know how to play.

- That's okay.
Neither do we.

- But we're gonna have fun.

- [tambourine jingling]

- MOM & DAD: [grunting]

- Heaven help us--
it is contagious.

- ♪ Plastic bag
blowing through the gutter ♪

♪ Lost and alone
like toast without butter ♪

- Hey, guys,
I'm a backup dancer.

Aah!
- Luna, take a solo!

- Nah! This a family
band, dude.

- Yeah, but you're the only one
who can actually play.

- [guitar solo]
- CROWD: [cheering]

- Dad, cowbell solo.
- Seriously?

I knew this day would come.
Okay, here we go.

Boom-chicka-gah-de-gah!
Chi-chi-chicka-dah-dah-dah!

- CROWD: [cheering]

[applauding]

- That was so fun!
- Hey, mate.

You guys looked like you were
having fun out there.

- We were.

- And you were brilliant.

You've got real talent.

- Thanks.

And thanks for that little talk
back at the restaurant.

You really helped
straighten me out.

I was being horrible to my
family to impress a guy

who didn't even show up.

- Oh, I wouldn't say that.

- Mm...Mm...Mm...Mm...

- Hey, honey,
got us funnel cakes.

Who's this?

- The name's Mick Swagger, mate.

And you were great, too.

I love that passion
on the cowbell.

- [in unison] Mm...Mm...
Mm...Mm...Mm...Mm...

- Are you gonna finish those?

Cheers, mate.

- [in unison]
Mm...Mm...Mm...Mm...

- ♪