01x38 - Homespun

[bunniefuu]

♪

- Ugh!
Dang it!

Aargh!

- Sounds like someone got
trapped in the bathroom again.

- Grr!
Somebody let me out!

Bobby's coming over to study

and I only have three hours
to get ready!

Aah!

Oof!

Grr!

This house is literally
falling apart!

- Lori's right.

With kids, four pets,
and two parents who insist

on fixing everything themselves,

our house is a bit of a--
how do I put this nicely?

Disaster.

You've got the faulty
water pressure.

[metal creaking]

- Eh, I'll go borrow some water
from Charles's bowl.

- Try to have a little
dignit--eee!

♪

Lincoln:
And the creaky floorboards.

♪

[wood creaks]

- Lori? Leni? Luan?

Lincoln: Don't forget about
the rotting wood.

- Luna!

- Then there's
the clunky furnace.

♪

Well, Captain, after weeks
of careful construction,

your ship is finally ready.

[furnace rattling]

And the crummy TV signal.

- It's fuzzy again!

- To the left, Dad!

- D'oh! Da-ha!

Oh, something's got me!

- Wait, wait!
That's perfect!

[cheers]

- Aah!

all: Aww!

Lincoln:
And the doorknob situation.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

- Dang it.

And I feel like there's
something I'm leaving out.

Aah!
Right, the mailbox.

Ridiculous.

There wasn't even a breeze.

- Actually, according to
my meteorological instruments,

a big storm's a-brewin'.

Perhaps a tornado.

- What?
No way.

- Patchy Drizzle here with
an urgent weather bulletin.

A tornado watch
has just been issued

for the Royal Woods area.

[all gasp]

- [sighs]
Try and keep up, Patchy.

- All right, kids,
everyone down to the basement.

Your father and I have to secure
the TV antenna.

- I call trampoline!

[indistinct chatter]

both: I'm scared!

- Fear not.

A tornado watch doesn't mean
a twister's coming,

but rather that conditions
are right for one.

Besides, most
residential structures

can withstand wind speeds
of up to miles per hour.

- Or in the case of our house,
two miles per hour.

[laughter]

- Maybe this old heap
will blow away,

and then we can get a new house!

- [sighs]
I'll finally get my castle!

- Ugh, I can't believe
I have to postpone my study date

with Bobby after I did all this.

- Dudes, remember the first time
Bobby came over to Casa Loud?

[playful music]

- Mr. and Mrs. Loud.
Heh.

It's an honor
to finally meet you.

- [gasps]
Boo Boo Bear!

You're literally bleeding.

- Oh.
[chuckles]

No worries, babe, it's--

it's just marinara sauce.
Ahem.

Could I please
use your restroom?

[metal creaking]

Whoa!

- So, you're Lori's

new love interest.

- Aah!

Dang it.

[laughter]

- [sighs]

Fortunately,
our love was strong enough

to overcome any obstacle.

Including creepy sisters
who spy on my dates.

- Please.

You can't expect to have

privacy in this house.

[inhales]
Sigh.

[inhales]
Sigh.

[inhales]
Sigh.

- Okay, you've been doing that

for ten minutes.

What's wrong, Luce?

[dark music]

- Don't tell anyone, but...

I've been reading this new book
series about a werewolf,

and it feels like
I'm cheating on Edwin.

- I'd stick with the vampire.

Werewolves are hairy
and gross. Yech!

- Which is exactly why
she should go for one!

[howls]

- But Edwin was her first love.

- Don't these books sound
a little old for Lucy?

- Of course not, dear.
When I was a girl,

I read a series about
a cute lumberjack.

- Groan.

[laughter]

[inhales]
Sigh.

- I still fail to grasp
your dilemma,

seeing as both would-be suitors
are mythological beings.

- My point was that our
walls are ridiculously thin.

- Yeah, not to mention leaky.

[upbeat music]

Uh-oh.

♪

Got it.

[phone vibrating]

Dang it!

And it wasn't even raining.

Someone just flushed
the upstairs toilet.

- "Ur-ine" trouble then.

[laughing]
Get it?

all: [groaning]

- Aw, come on,
it was funny!

[devices whirring]

- Good news.

Wind speeds have decreased
significantly.

We should be out of this
asbestos-ridden dungeon soon.

[cheers]

- At least it's not flooding

like it did
in the last big storm.

♪

- I'll get the buckets.

- Last one.

♪

- Wait, but don't you guys
remember what happened next?

[gasps]
Hey, guys!

Check it out!

[upbeat rock music]

Cannonball!

[cheers]

- Ew! I'm not swimming
in grody basement water.

- Hey, Lori!

I found your missing earring.

- [gasps]
The one from Bobby?

Cannonball!

- That swimming hole
was awesome!

[indistinct chatter]

- Yeah, I guess sometimes living
in a crummy house isn't all bad.

- Yeah, like the time
possums got in through

the holes in the roof
and chewed up the wiring.

[possum squeaking]

- Sorry, kids,
till we get new cables

there's gonna be
no TV or Internet.

[cries and groans]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No need to panic.

I think I know how
to "possum" the time.

all: [groaning]

- Ha-ha!
Guess what ol' Dad found?

- A wireless hotspot?

- Even better!

My old "Pioneer Boy" books
from when I was a kid.

They're about a plucky young lad
and his family

crossing this great nation
in a covered wagon.

You guys are gonna love 'em!

[energetic banjo music]

- [babbling]

♪

- [laughs]

♪

- [laughing]

- Ow!

- [in Southern accent]
Fret not, lassie.

One drop of my mugwump elixir

will soothe every ache and pain.

- That did turn out to be fun.

- Yes, indeed.
- That was pretty cool.

- That was almost as fun
as the time the air conditioner

went crazy
and Dad couldn't turn it off.

[air conditioner rattling]

- [whimpering nervously]

Aah!

[chatter and laughter]

- You know, dudes,
maybe we've been too hard

on the ol' crib.

It's got some perks--

like the wicked slanty floors.

Yo, Lans, pass the gravy.

[laughing]

You never have to get up
to grab some grub!

- Or a fresh roll of TP.

Guys, I need a reload!

[whoop]

And she makes the snag.

[laughter]

- The broken doorbell
can come in handy too.

[door bell dings]
[electricity sizzling]

- Whoa!

- I can't remember the last time
we paid for pizza.

[laughter]

- You know what else
comes in handy?

That hole in the bathroom floor.

- Um, we got it, Lynn.

- Oh, okay.

Just wanted to be sure.

- [babbling]

- Guys, I think Lily wants
to share a house story too.

Mind if I translate, Lilster?

- Poo-poo.

Ahem.

[babbling]

- So it was Mom and Dad's
anniversary weekend.

- Bye!
- Have fun!

- Okay, guys,
it's time to put Operation:

Paint-the-Peeling-House-
to-Give-Mom-and-Dad-

the-Greatest-
Anniversary-Gift-Ever-

and-Also-Think-of-a-Shorter-
Name-for-This-Operation...

into action!

♪

- I still think
adjacent burial plots

would have been a better gift.

Nothing says romance
like eternity.

[car horn honks]

- They're back!
Paintbrushes down!

all: Surprise!

Happy anniversary!

both: Good gravy.

- So you like it?

both: Uh...

♪

- [babbling]

- Best. Anniversary gift. Ever!

- That was a great story, Lily.

- Poo-poo.

- I think she's got
another story.

- [farts]

- Oh, this time
it really is just poo-poo.

[laughter]

[devices whirring]

[dramatic music]

- What's going on?

Is the storm over?

- Uh, actually wind speeds have

increased significantly.

Meaning the tornado watch

is about to become
a tornado warning.

all: [gasping]
[siren wailing]

- And there it is.

[thunder cracking]

- Nobody panic!

- I guess it's not such

a bad house after all.

- Definitely.

[indistinct chatter]

[thunder roars]

[wind howls]

- I don't want our house
to blow away!

- Me neither!

- I take back
what I said before!

- Yeah, we have so many memories
in these walls.

- I'm sorry I ever
ragged on this place.

- Me too.
- We're so sorry, house!

- Me too!
- Me three!

- You might be old and creaky
and full of leaks,

but you're ours.

And we love you!

[storm intensifies]

♪

[storm ceases]

[all shivering]

- All clear!

- Let's go check on the house.

- I hope the house is okay!

- I'll check the hole
in the bathroom floor.

[upbeat music]

- Yikes.

You guys were hit hard.

- Nope, this is how
our house always looks.

And we wouldn't want it
any other way.

- All right, everyone,
back inside.

all: Dang it.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house