05x22 - Dues and Don'ts

[bunniefuu]

male narrator: With Ash's chance
for a seventh badge approaching,

our heroes realize they're one
step closer to the Johto League.

But for now they're focused
on a different type of goal.

- It's a football field
with goals and everything.

- [laughing]

- Are you football players?

- Prepare for trouble.
Don't drop the ball.

- And make it double
with an offsides call.

- To protect our team
we won't call it quits.

- We'll unite our runners
with a fourth down blitz.

- To denounce the evils
of an eighth round pick.

- To extend our reach
with a three-point kick.

- Jessie.
- James.

- Team Rocket does one for the
Gipper at the speed of light.

- No time-outs.

The clock's running,
so let's fight, fight, fight.

- Touchdown, that's right.

- What do you three want?

- Hey, there's enough of us
for a scrimmage.

- That's exactly right.

Now go long
and catch this b*mb.

- Bombs away.

- What?

- Okay, Jimmy,
make us proud.

- Three points.

- Back at you!

- No fair. You're offsides.

- Cheaters!

- I got it.

- Hey, that wasn't
our game plan.

You're supposed to run
with the ball.

- They'll get a kick
out of this.

- Pikachu, Thunderbolt them.

- Pikachu!

- Uh-oh.

Team Rocket's
blasting off again!

[singing]
- Pokémon!

- No time to question
my moves

I stick to the path
that I choose

Me and my friends
are gonna do it right

You'll never see us
run away from a fight

To be a Master
is my dream

All I've got to do
is believe

- I believe

- I've got a chance
to win

I'm on my way
to victory

- Pokémon!
- I can be a Champion

If I just believe

I'm on a Master Quest

- Master Quest

- I want the whole world
to see

- I believe

- I'm gonna be
the very best

'Cause all I've got to do
is believe in me

- Pokémon!

- Well, this business does
have its ups and downs,

now doesn't it?

- Yes, but the ups
are far too quick

and the downs
far too painful.

- So let's make
this one painless.

- Wobbuffet.

- Like floating
on a cloud.

- Lighter than air.

- Hey, get back
in your ball.

- Ah! Another crash landing.

- Painful.
- But predictable.

- Wobbuffet.

- This is your doing.

- Wobbuffet.

- Return.

- Aren't you being
a little harsh?

Ugh, we have never beaten
those twerps before,

Wobbuffet or no Wobbuffet.

- Hmm. You're right.

- Well, I suggest we call
a meeting.

Come to order.

- We're all present and...

- Accounted for.

- Wobbuffet!

- [sighs]

- So, riddle me this,
fellow teammates:

why do we keep losing
to the losers?

- Huh?

- Well, don't just sit there.
Say something.

- Since no one wants
to say anything,

we could be democratic
and take a vote.

- I second that.

- Second what?
Voting on what?

- On whom we can blame
for our lack of success.

- All those for Meowth,
say "aye."

- Aye.
- Aye.

- Oh, yeah?
Well, who votes it was James?

- Wobbu!
- Aye!

- We all know where most of the
bungled brainstorms come from.

- All for Jessie, say "aye."

- Aye!
- What? Huh? Me?

This is ridiculous!

Now, who votes for Wobbuffet?
Show me your hands.

- Say "aye."
- Aye!

- Wobbuffet!

- We're getting nowhere fast.

- Hey, let's try rock,
paper, scissors.

- Rock, paper, scissors
won't work for this!

- You're right, Meowth.

- But now what?

- Hmm.

- That's the question.

- Hold on.
- Yes, yes?

- The twerps' team is comprised
of three people,

while we only have
two people.

- What about me?

- I'm afraid
you're not a people.

- [screams]

Oh, the shame.

I forgot that I'm a Pokémon.

- And come to think of it,
that Pikachu of theirs

never hangs out
in its Pokéball.

Never, ever.

- Neither do I, bub!

- But who cares?

- Hey, I do!

- Besides that,
they have that Togepi.

- Big deal.

We've got our Wobbuffet

to be as omnipresently annoying
as that puny little pest.

- Wobbuffet!

- So that evens that out.

- But ponder the piles
of other Pokémon

that those pip-squeaks possess.

While all we have left
is one Weezing,

an Arbok, and an overly
passionate Victreebel.

- But wait, you forgot all about
the secret weapons we got.

- Are you kidding me
with those secret weapons?

Not one of them
has worked yet!

- Wobbuffet!

- Stay out of this!

- Why you...
- Wait for me.

- Hey, you.
Get back here.

- Hey, watch the face,
watch the face!

[screams]

That went well.

- But it was a fair vote.

- If that's the democratic way,
I'm voting republican.

- Perhaps we should contact
the home office

and ask them to send us out
some new Pokémon now.

- But Jess, don't you remember
how much we owe them already?

- I owe them all nine lives.

- [sighs]

Guess you're right.

- To make matters worse,

I have a blister.

- It's just one thing after
another after another

after another after another.

- Look.
- Huh?

- What kind of Pokémon
is that?

- It's a strange place
for a cage.

- It feels like a trick.

- This Pokémon
is called a Delibird.

I've caught ever so many
of these Pokémon

that I'm just leaving it here.

- James, our luck
has finally changed.

- All that whining
and complaining really paid off.

- You are certainly most welcome
to catch this Delibird

if you so desire,

but use extreme care
as to how you catch it,

as this is one powerful Pokémon.

- Just so our luck doesn't turn
again, I'll catch it myself.

Go, Arbok.

- Go, Weezing.

- Weezing.

- Weezing, Smog Attack.

- Hold it.

That blubbery bird thing
can fly.

- It's a Blizzard attack.

- How do you know
it's a Blizzard attack?

- Maybe because
we're in a blizzard.

- Oh, that makes sense.

Now go, Victreebel.

Help!

- Not me too!

- Victreebel, if you're hungry,
devour that Delibird.

- [shrieks]

- Return, Victreebel.

- Oh, so you wanna play
some more?

- Arbok, Poison Sting
attack now.

- Your turn, Wobbuffet.

Let's go. Counter.

- Wobbuffet.

- Well, I have a whole new
opinion of Wobbuffet.

- That was my Wobbuffet,
right?

So now that chunky little
chickadee is mine, all mine.

- Oh, no, you don't!
It's mine!

- I plucked that Delibird
fair and square.

- It's mine.
- It's mine.

- Mine.
- It's mine.

- Mine.

- Stop all your cackling.

That Delibird is mine.

- Yeah?
Well, who do you think you are?

- I'm pleased to report that
you've just passed your test

with flying colors.

- Passed our test?

- I didn't study.

- I'm a talent scout
for Team Rocket.

- You're a what?

- After watching you battle
with in those wonderfully phony

Team Rocket outfits,
I'm sure you're perfect.

- Do you play Team Rocket
dress-up often?

- Dress-up?

- Wrong. We are % undeniably
the real deal.

- That's impossible.

Just take a look at this.

A real uniform.

- Hmm.
- [laughs]

Well, you see, we've designed
our own costumes,

to reflect
our free spirit.

- Yes, and our sense
of stylish good taste.

- Don't feed me those apples.

I've seen more and more
fake phony frauds like you

roaming the countryside
claiming to be

in the real Team Rocket.

- But we really are.
- We're not lying.

- And with coppers cracking down
on us harder than ever,

I regret to say that we're faced
with a severe shortage

of Team Rocket members.

Maybe you kids should consider
joining Team Rocket.

You know, the real McCoy.

- Would you read my lips?

I told you, we are
in the real Team Rocket.

- Well, you sure don't
look like it.

- Hmm.

I'm prepared
to offer this.

- Huh?
- Wow.

- Quite a sum.
- Let's join, Jess.

- We can't join twice.

It wouldn't be long
before we're found out.

- You're right.

We could get
in big trouble.

- Hey, what's all
the muttering about?

Are you in or are you out?

Sometime before
the next century, if you please.

- But I've told you
that we've been there

and that we've done that.

- I need proof.

Show me some ID
or your membership card.

- Huh? My membership card.

Yes, great idea.
I have it here somewhere.

- Okay, here's mine.

- Hmmm, this card isn't worth
a hill of dried beans.

It's expired.

- [screams]

- You've not paid your dues
for several years.

You've also not contributed
to pension and welfare

or the Rocket
retirement fund.

In fact, you two have been
removed completely.

- Removed completely? No!

- See for yourselves.
Read it and weep.

- Jessie, Jessie, Jessie,
Jessie, Jessie, Jessie...

No!

- James, James, James, James,
James, James, James, James.

The humiliation!

- My turn.

My Team Rocket
Pokémon registration number

is, uh-huh, yep,
and...

[screams]

- So there you have it.

- [sobs]

Then who am I?

- What shall I do now?

- The pain. The shame.

- All right, that's enough.

- We'll go underground
and start our own

Team Rocket bad guys
cool g*ng.

- Got a problem with that?

- Chill out.

Why not just re-register
for Team Rocket,

for crying out loud?

- You know, our senior recruiter
here may have a point.

Why not just join up again?

- You know, let's.

- What is it?

- Giovanni, this is Wendy
from Human Resources.

Our Johto regional recruiter

has found a couple
of potential candidates.

- Very interesting.

Although we're cutting back
on useless staff,

I suppose it is necessary
for an evil organization

to look for promising evildoers
to add to our evil team.

- I've uploaded their data, sir.

- Hmm.

Hmm?

- Jessie.

- [panting]

- Ah, there's nothing
like a fruit smoothie

after a grueling workout.

Uh, be a dear and take care
of the bill, please?

I'll pay you back later.
See you.

- Uh, Jessie.

She still owes me
that money!

- What's going on
out there?

- Huh? It was nothing.

It's just that they've borrowed
a large amount of money from us

and not paid
a cent of it back.

- It's always something
with those three.

- I must suggest
that we cut our losses

and block their reinstatement
with Team Rocket.

- No, just keep an eye on them
till they've paid their loan.

But if it seems they can't
pay it back,

we'll have to strike them out
as members.

- [purrs]

- Who's that Pokémon?

It's Smeargle.

- There's just one more
tiny little exam.

- There's more?

- You must encounter and attack
a Pokémon Trainer head-on.

Well, it's your lucky day.

There just happens to be a whole
group of travelling Trainers,

and they're yours
for the tak...

- Hmm. Really?

What?

It's the twerps.

- So you know them?

- Yes, we know them.

But without some super high-tech
weapon, they're unbeatable.

We've tried and we've tried
and tried and tried and tried!

- So we'd need to borrow
more money.

- Well, they sure as sh**ting
don't look very tough to me.

- They may not look very tough,

but they're tougher
than we are, sister.

- That means you're not
too tough, eh?

- Ah! Speak for yourself,
Granny.

- Tell you what.

You can use my Delibird
and give it a go.

- Wow.

You mean you'd really
do that for us?

- You know, with just one more
strong Pokémon...

- We just might.
- Do we dare?

- Dare! Dare to dream.

- We're number one!

- Wobbuffet.

- Excuse me, kids.

- Huh? What was that?

- We've been waiting
for you.

- You have?
But who are you?

- Prepare for trouble.

- And make it double.

- That's enough.

Jessie.

- And me.

James. James. James.

- I'm Meowth.
That's right.

- Not again.

- Seeing you thieves once a day
is more than enough.

- When it comes to stealing
Pokémon, it's never enough.

- Stealing whose Pokémon?

- Let's see.
Yours, of course.

- That's right.

We're going back
to join Team Rocket.

- And you're going back to being
without that Pikachu.

- You know, you guys really
aren't making much sense.

- You're not
in Team Rocket anymore?

- We expired!

- We must fight this fight
of all fights

in order to regain
our membership,

our dignity,
and our costumes.

- You know, if it's that much
trouble, then just don't rejoin.

- And herein lies the rub.

- Team Jet's membership
is filled up,

and Team Helicopter's nothing
but a bunch of snobs.

So what is an evil genius
to do?

- Besides, they've got
stock options.

- So let's go.

- I've never seen
that Pokémon before.

- Delibird:
the Delivery Pokémon.

Delibird's most unique attack
is giving presents.

- That doesn't sound right.

How can giving away presents be
any sort of an attack?

- Wow, a present for me?

- Hey, thank you.

- Thanks.

- You can't just walk around

giving presents away
to the enemy, you birdbrain!

- [screams]

- Ah, nice touch.

- Thanks for the gift.

- However,
some of these presents

have been known
to explode.

- Oh, great.
So now you tell me, Dexter.

Okay, now I'm angry.

Phanpy, I choose you.

- Phanpy.

- Phanpy, Take Down.

- Delibird can move
just as well as Phanpy.

- Blizzard attack.

- Oh, no.

Phanpy's not too cool
with Ice-type attacks.

- Phanpy, return.

[all scream]

- Pika!

- Pikachu.

Are you okay, Pikachu?

- Pika.

- Well, look, James.

Things just aren't as bad
as they seemed.

- See? We're still Team Rocket.

- All those weird attacks
they have.

This'll be tougher
than I thought.

- Pika?

- Delibird.

- Pika?

- What is it, Pikachu?

- Ah!

- Look.

- What's happening, Ash?

- Huh?

- Sometimes Delibird's presents

can actually restore energy
to its opponents.

- Pika.

- Pikachu.

- I guess you just don't know
when to quit, do you?

- I wouldn't be too sure, Jess.

- Pika.

- I think it's mad!

- Pika...

- Pikachu, Thunder attack.

- Pika!

- [screams]

- You wouldn't happen to have
those parachutes?

- I forgot.

- Ah! Looks like Team Rocket's
blasting off again!

- Well, they did lose
that match, but, you know,

with the personnel shortage,
we have to make compromises.

- Master Giovanni,

I have a scout from
the Johto region on the line.

Jessie and James
have passed.

- Hmm. Work them hard until
they've paid back that loan.

On second thought,
just work them hard.

- Yes.
I will, sir.

Jessie, you lucked out again.

I'll never forget
that fruit smoothie!

- All's well that ends well.

- We're back in Team Rocket
and everything's great.

- With a new Pokémon
to boot.

- Welcome to our little family,
Delibird.

- Team Rocket!

- I'm afraid it's time
for Delibird to return.

With all our recruiting,

Delibird seems to have gotten
a bit tired.

However, I will allow it

to be your direct deposit
delivery Delibird.

- Direct deposit?
I don't know what you mean.

- The money you owe.
- Money?

- You can use Delibird
to pay your monthly dues

and to make payments
on your loans.

- Back up.

The ink isn't even dry
on our contracts,

and already you're squawking
about money.

- True, and what about
our signing bonuses?

- Yes, our signing bonuses.

- Of course, you should
receive it for reentry.

But after deducting your
unpaid dues and loan payments,

there wasn't enough change left
to make a telephone call.

- [groans]

- Huh?

- [screams]

- Huh?

- What is this?

- It's some sort of receipt.

- For what?

- Contract fees, entrance fees,
late fees on the late fees,

a loan prepayment
of $ , .

And for one fruit smoothie?

- And it's signed,
"Have a nice day."

- Hey, what's with
the smoothie, Grandma?

- Revenge is sweet,
my dear Jessie.

- I don't get it with
that fruit smoothie business.

- Me either.

- I don't even like
fruit smoothies.

Give me a double tall half-cafe
mocha latte with foam any day.

- I hate the thought
of that Delibird

hitting us up month after month
for money.

- Ha! The beauty of it all is
that we have no money.

So when that annoying creature
comes a-calling,

we'll just use it
to capture Pikachu.

Think of it as our most
expensive secret weapon.

Sometimes I impress myself.

Ah, yes, we're back.

- And better than ever.

male narrator: In spite of Team
Rocket's never-ending antics,

our heroes continue
on their way.

- Life is good!

- What was that?

- Strange.

- Yeah.

- Pika?

- No time to question
my moves

I stick to the path
that I choose

Me and my friends
are gonna do it right

To be a Master
is my dream

All I've got to do
is believe

- I believe

- I'm on a Master Quest

- Master Quest

- I want the whole world
to see

- I believe

- I'm gonna be
the very best

'Cause all I've got to do
is believe in me

- Pokémon!