02x04 - Two For the Road

[bunniefuu]

Man:
I cleaned out
your locker.

Man, I thought
I was a slob.

The stench
nearly k*lled me.

Returned your
library books.

Cost me six bucks
in fines

But don't
worry about it.

That's the kind
of guy I am.

Oh, I found your essay
for mr. Roberson's class--

A few typos,
grammatical things

But overall, it was
pretty good for a bodine.

So I handed it in.

Oh, johnny,
this you're going to love.

I finally made a copy
of that tape.

You know, that bootleg.

Listen to this.

All right, listen
to the backup.

I think
it's springsteen.

Come on, man

You used to love
springsteen.

Bet you still do, huh?

Right?

Did I tell you what happened
in ms. Easton's class?

She was piling
on the homework as usual

And ellis is getting
really fumed, right?

Because exams
are coming up...

...your mom was at school.

She's carrying around
this huge rosary.

I don't know, I think
she found god or something.

We talked about you
and me being roommates

At t.s.u. Next year.

You probably would have
flunked out anyway.

♪ We never thought of finding ♪

♪ The place where we belong ♪

♪ Don't have to stand alone ♪

♪ We'll never let you fall ♪

♪ Don't need permission ♪

♪ To decide what you believe ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ Your friends will be there ♪

♪When your back is
to the wall ♪

♪ You'll find you need us ♪

♪'Cause there's no one else
to call ♪

♪ When it looks hopeless ♪

♪ A decision's what you need ♪

♪ You better be ready to ♪

♪ Be ready to ♪

♪ Jump! ♪

♪ Jump street! ♪

How you doing?

Oh, is teddy
working tonight?

No, he's bowling--
league championships.

Have you got any i.d.?

League championships, not bad.

Last weekend, he was worried
about qualifying.

Here you go.

I need something with a picture.

Store policy.

It's okay, I'm used to it.

Here you go.

( People laughing and talking)

( Engines racing )

( Loud music playing )

Hi, brian.

Traci.

How you doing?

I thought this was supposed
to be some kind of party.

Anything break
while I was gone?

Nothing worth
getting worried about.

Party! Party!

Dougy, how you doing?

Hey, thanks
for the invite.

If I knew there were
parties like this

I would have transferred
to central sooner.

Ah.

I'm impressed.

You know, there's some people
that aren't good at anything.

What's the deal
with the beer?

Your uncle own a liquor store?

Doug...

I have to urinate.

Oh, man.

( Doorbell rings )

It's open.

( Doorbell )

I said it's open.

( Doorbell )

It's my party.

The door's open.

What's the problem?

( Doorbell )

What's going on here?

Officer:
seventeen.

Seventeen.

Sixteen.

Sixteen.

Seventeen.

Sixteen.

What a surprise.

Nobody's legal.

Where did you
buy the booze?

We had it
in the house.

Dad always keeps
this much around

In case
friends drop by?

Okay, boys and girls,
the party's over.

Ryan, you're
coming with us.

Come on, please.

Fuller.

No, I'll transfer you.

Kenny's license match any
of those fakes on file?

Perfectly.

Number, address.

I wish I was this lucky
in the lottery.

Hanson?

Is your cover still solid?

A penhall cover comes
with a lifetime guarantee.

( Phone rings )

Fuller.

Yeah, hold on.

Ioki, line two.

You know, we pay people
to answer the phones.

But we don't pay you

To tell me that.

Ah-ha.

Take a look
at this, hanson.

It's a forgery.

Vice has turned
up of these

In the last
months

All from the same shop.

I'm putting you, ioki and hoffs
on this with penhall.

Four cops on
a fake i.d. Case?

Isn't that a little
top-heavy?

Sir.

Teenage drunk driving accidents
have tripled

In the past
months.

I thought
there might be a connection.

( Phone rings )

Fuller.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll talk to him.

( Phone rings )

Penhall.

Adam?

Oh, fuller.

No, he's on another call.

Rhonda?

Rhonda who?

Ballet, yeah.

Look, it will
be there

By the end of the week.

I'll ship the paperwork
when it gets here.

He's kind
of cute...

For an older guy.

You'll get it when I get it.

That's all I can do.

Yeah.

Adam's
a nice guy

Once you
get past

All that surface stuff.

No, he's my captain.

I said put her on hold.

Yeah.

Rhonda?

Yeah, okay.

How are you doing?

Yeah, that's fine by me.

Okay, I'll see you then.

What did you think
you were doing?

I was just laying
a little groundwork for you.

You've got a new squeeze,
don't you?

I want to know where
these kids are drinking--

Which bars
look the other way.

I also want...

You got a problem
with that, hanson?

I don't know.

Something about coming down
on these kids.

Last year, , kids
were hosed off the dashboards

Of their parents' cars.

I've made
the calls

Where you knock
on the door

At : a.m.

They say
what's wrong?

And you
tell them

Your kid is dead.

He was only .

I had these made up.

No offense,
captain.

These will be
spotted as fakes

In a second and a half.

You think so?

( Phone rings )

Somebody want to get that?

( Phone rings )

Kirby.

Listen, did you mean
what you said before?

Hey, how are you doing?

I don't know.

I... Look, remember you said

That if something bad
happened to someone

That they could
still get over it?

Right?

I think so.

Well, what happened?

Just say it.

You'll end up feeling
a lot better.

I promise.

Those guys
in your cell

Didn't develop any
crushes, I hope.

Not at all.

They were a very
congenial bunch.

For felons.

Were your parents
so congenial

Picking you up?

They were fine
once I pulled out

The ace in the hole.

At least, I wasn't
doing dr*gs.

I could be
a soviet spy

But as long as I
wasn't doing dr*gs

My parents
would let it slide.

Let's grab a seat
over here.

Tommy!

Chug-a-doug!

Muck-a-mucka,
huck-a-lucka!

Penhall:
when did you
transfer in?

Hanson:
it's my first day.

This is tommy farber.

I spent six summers
at camp with him.

This is
brian krompasick.

Krompasick-- hi.

This is traci maldanado--

She's
italian--

And kenny ryan.

Chug-a-doug, huh?

It's a long story.

Yeah, at my brother's
graduation party

This guy chugged
so many beers

Even the bartender
applauded.

I gave up the sport

Because of health
reasons.

Yeah, he almost
dropped dead.

You guys
want to ditch?

Come on,
it's a great day.

We're young, restless

Without a future.

And we're
thirsty.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Could I see some i.d., Fellows?

Come on, angelo.

You embarrass me.

These are my friends.

There's no problem.

Let's try something

With a picture
on it.

Come on, we're legal.

Get these guys up to speed.

Let me see this.

This wouldn't fool
stevie wonder.

He doesn't tend bar.

Let's find
a place

With no hassles.

Yeah.

Maldanado:
good idea.

Penhall:
I may be sensitive

But I really don't dig
the ambience here.

You got something
against dead people?

Of course not.

My grandparents
are dead.

Brian:
you know what
freaks me out?

Franklin roosevelt d*ed
before world w*r ii ended.

No, I'm serious.

I mean...

After all he went through

He dies without
knowing that we won.

Kenny:
have another
beer, man.

Penhall:
personally, I hope
there's a heaven

Where I can still catch
monday night football.

Always
the intellectual.

Yo, kenny.

What?

Take a look, man.

Hey, yo, t.j.

Who's t.j.?

He's a guy we know
from the letterbox.

His best friend
just... Was buried

A couple
of weeks ago.

Bummer.

Yeah, jonathan.

He's the only guy
I know who's dead.

What are you
bodines doing here?

We got tossed out
of the letterbox.

These guys tried
getting served

With library cards.

Somebody ought to burn
that place down.

Are you kidding?

At least
they serve us.

Hey, what
are you doing?

This is a cemetery.

People are buried here,
you know?

Ah, geez.

Brian:
come on.

I'm sorry, man.

Get your hands off me.

Just b*at it.

( Playing
"we've only just begun" )

You know...

It usually takes me
a lot longer to become

This comfortable
with someone.

How comfortable
is that?

Don't press me on this.

I'm trying to make
a good impression.

Oh.

What? I'm not?

I'll let you know.

Relax, fuller.

Do help yourself,
captain briody.

I'm on the wine-tasting
committee.

I got to find out
if this is as bad

As the stuff at our table.

I don't know
how I got roped

Into making a retirement speech

But a few more of these

It will be interesting.

It's got to be
a lot better

Than that music

We've been
listening to.

Hello.

It's all in
the psychology, palones.

I once stopped a guy
who blew a . ...

That's over twice
the legal limit.

The guy still b*at me
out of $ playing darts

Waiting for his lawyer.

What's so funny?

I remembered henderson
pulled rookie rotation.

He's out training
these guys tonight.

He's not
an alleged driver.

He's an alleged
drunk.

Sometimes, they'll kibitz you
about the baseball scores.

Maybe they'll worry
if you're warm enough out here.

These are
all key signs.

Palones, am I

Getting
through?

Yes, sir.

Okay, that was eleven.

So, stop the t-bird.

I'll be right
with you.

How are you feeling
tonight, officer?

Just fine, sir.

It's chilly tonight.

Where's your jacket?

Have you had anything
to drink tonight, sir?

No.

Where are you

Coming from?

From dinner.

You had nothing to drink
with dinner?

Just a couple
of glasses of wine.

Step out of the car, please.

Whoa, it was white wine.

I asked you
to step out, please.

See what I get
for being nice.

Step out of the car,
please.

Look, officer palones...

Step to the front
of the car.

I appreciate the job
you're trying to do.

I'm a police officer
myself--

A captain.

Then you're
familiar

With the field sobriety test.

I only had one drink.

You just said two drinks.

Of dinner wine.

I'll have to ask you
to take the breathalyzer.

If you refuse
this test

Your license will be revoked
for a minimum of one year.

This is ridiculous.

Are you refusing
to take the test?

Give it to me.

Captain fuller.

How are you?

Who is this guy--

The sorcerer's
apprentice?

Say good night
to captain fuller.

Thank you.

I can't do that.

The captain's blown a . .

Officer:
name?

Adam fuller.

( Typing )

Rank?

Come on, baker.

You know my name, my rank.

You know I like ketchup
on my hot dogs.

You know I pull
the ball to the right

Because you ran down
everything I hit!

I only had a couple
glasses of wine.

Grab a cup
of coffee.

We can skip
the holding cell.

Thanks.

I'll bring you an s-
to acknowledge receipt

Of your hearing date
with internal affairs.

You don't look drunk to me.

Captain briody...

You didn't need to be called.

If you wanted
to go home tonight, I did.

In officer-related cases

A supervisor must sign you out.

Need a lift?

I hope your wife is driving.

You had
a little to drink tonight.

Apparently, not as much as you.

Everybody in that room
had a drink or two--

Even more.

They must have
remembered the roadblock.

So it's okay to drive
when you're drunk

As long as you
don't get caught?

Don't take it
out on me.

I didn't
bring you in.

I've been a cop
for nearly years.

Penhall,
listen to this.

I'm not asleep.

I checked on
t.j.'S friend,
jonathan kelley.

About two
months ago

He and t.j.
Were in a car wreck.

They were wasted on alcohol.

Johnny's blood
level was . .

I'm surprised he could drive.

Apparently,
he couldn't.

T.j. Walked away
from it

But johnny was paralyzed
with permanent brain damage.

A couple weeks ago

T.j.'S taking johnny
for a walk on some bridge.

Somehow, johnny
winds up in the river.

T.j. Jumps in, tries
to save him, but couldn't.

Remind me never
to stand next to him

In an electrical storm.

You think we can
link the letterbox

With that accident?

They're serving a lot
of underage kids.

Maybe we can revoke
their license

If we can get
t.j. To testify.

I'm sure jonathan's
parents would love that.

Think he'll do it?

He already blames the bar
for johnny's death.

At least that's how he
sounded at the cemetery.

Hoffs:
me and ioki
can approach

The alcohol
control office.

( Silence )

Let me guess.

You heard
I got arrested last night.

It kind of
leaked out.

Just to set
you straight

This all started because
some rookie cop went overboard.

We knew it was
something like that.

Something like what?

Like you weren't
really drinking.

Thanks for the support.

Were you drinking?

No.

Then there's nothing
to worry about.

I had a couple glasses
of wine.

I wasn't drinking.

Oh.

There's a big distinction.

Look, if you don't mind

I'd rather keep
my personal life personal.

So, how's it going?

Just like I thought.

Angelo took one
look at that fake
i.d. You gave us

And laughed us
out of the bar.

Oh...

So, now what?

We hook up with kenny

And try to get
fake i.d. Like his.

You don't think that maybe
that's what I had in mind

When I gave you the bad proof?

Okay, all right.

You got me.

I'm sorry.

I underestimated you.

It will never happen again.

Good.

Sounds just a little bit
defensive, don't you think?

It was a boredom banquet.

Everyone has a few drinks.

Doesn't make you drunk--
fuller's right.

T.j. Caldwell.

Is there a t.j.
Caldwell here?

T.j. Caldwell.

How long do we
have to wait?

Got minutes
so I can develop these

Or would you rather
take the negatives?

Don't mind him.

He gets cranky
when he doesn't nap.

You want
the whole package?

What's that?

Listen, there's plenty quality
licenses floating around

But I make available

The all-important
second i.d.

That was my idea.

No.

$ All together, cash.

I can't really
write you a check

Because I don't
have a picture i.d.

They're new.

These i.d.'S
are for amusement only.

You got that?

Bartender:
you fellows going
to try it again?

Nice work.

What will
you have?

Bring us a pitcher, okay?

Pitcher.

Thanks, pal.

So, what's the story
with traci?

You got your own personal
groupie or what?

No, she's cool.

She just hangs
out with us.

She's a good barometer.

What do you mean?

Soon as me and kenny

Start thinking
about hitting on her

We know we've drunk too much.

Exactly.

( Clicks tongue )

Give me a club soda.

How's it going?

We met the other day.

I see kenny finally
got you some decent i.d.

Yeah.

I thought you
hated this place.

I do, but every once
in a while, I got to come by.

We didn't mean anything
by drinking at the cemetery.

Hey, it's okay.

I was just visiting
a friend of mine, you know

And seeing you guys
out there partying...

I heard about johnny.

What did you hear?

I heard he d*ed.

Yeah, he did.

What's that to you?

Nothing.

I felt bad about
drinking there.

I just thought
I'd apologize.

Well, thank you.

Thanks so much
for apologizing.

Forget I said anything.

Why are you
here anyway?

You come over
and I should feel happy

Because you're such
a nice guy who can relate

To something
you know nothing about?

You ever even
know anybody who d*ed?

I'm sorry I bothered you.

Miller:
the breathalyzer results

Are a little high
for two glasses of wine.

Check the calibrations
on the equipment.

Maybe they were
big glasses?

Captain fuller, at one point

During officer palones'
questioning

Did you change your story

To only
one glass?

Yes.

Why?

I wasn't counting.

How do you know
you only had two?

We've been through this already.

I was on a date.

I had two glasses of wine,
maybe.

Look, mr. Miller,
I'm not a drinker.

A beer in the afternoon
at a football game

Is a big deal for me.

I don't smoke pot,
either

Or snort cocaine,
take dr*gs

b*at my children,
or cheat on my wife...

When I was married.

Settle down, captain.

Can we just please try
to get through this?

I'm a little frustrated.

I'm a good cop.

I do my job well.

It's guys like me
you want on the force.

I'm not questioning

Whether we want you
on the force.

I'm sure you're a good cop.

Why don't you cut
to the bottom line?

Ask me to admit
that I could barely walk

Much less drive.

If that's all you want,
I can give it to you now

We can cut this short.

That's not the purpose
of the interview.

I'm merely trying
to ascertain the facts.

Great! I'm talking
to joe friday now.

I can't wait
for you

To be on my side

If I'm ever
in any serious trouble.

Make no mistake
about it.

You're already
in serious trouble.

T.j.:
I don't know, man.

I just don't think
it's working out, you know.

Kirby:
give yourself
some breathing room.

Whatever pain you're
going through will heal

But it will take time.

What if I don't want to wait?

You know...

I mean, I don't know
if I want to wait.

Come on, you've got
to think this through.

It's kind of a bogus way out.

You've got to take some time
and work on this thing.

Now, tell me about your friend.

My friend's dead.

Fuller:
is my case pretty much

What you're
used to, plesser?

It's a walk
in the park.

My last client
blew a . --

That's
legally dead.

He did weigh
pounds

But still that's
a pretty big number.

How do you
defend a . ?

With creativity.

I said if he's dead
he couldn't be convicted.

If he's not dead,
the system's inaccurate.

Either way,
he shouldn't
be convicted.

Did they convict him?

Of course.

But I must have made
some kind impression.

Two weeks later, one judge
asked me to represent him.

So, what do you think
I'm looking at here?

That's marginal.

Normally,
they let it pass.

But the biggest problem

Facing this department now
is alcoholism.

But I wasn't drunk.

I know you
weren't drunk.

You were fine.

You could drive.

But that's the deal.

Rhonda:
so how did it go?

You want the party line
or the truth?

Which ever's
more optimistic.

In that case,
I'll make something up.

I keep thinking

I'm stuck in some bad
twilight zone episode.

I don't remember a bad
twilight zone episode.

Adam, relax.

Tomorrow, it
will all be over.

I wish I had the other night
to do over again.

What would you
have done differently?

For starters, I would have
taken a different way home.

I would have
sat through

A few of those boring
speeches before we left.

Oh, no.

Didn't we suffer enough
through the music?

Yeah, but looking back

It might not have
been a bad idea

To hang around
and let the wine settle.

Hold it.

What are you saying?

You're not saying
I was drunk?

No, I'm saying
the longer we waited

The lower the breathalyzer
number would have been.

So what's your point?

People shouldn't
be allowed to drink at all

If they're
going to drive?

I didn't know I was
making a point, adam.

But maybe

It should be illegal
to drink at all

If you're
going to drive.

That's ridiculous.

Maybe.

But, my way,
instead of being arrested

You'd have spent
the night with me.

The woman's got a point.

Six months to a year

Just to investigate
the complaint?

The letterbox is serving
these kids every day.

I've got cases
pending, kids.

Plus, I'm worrying about
a few thousand phony i.d.s.

Some guy is
selling these.

I can hardly tell they're fakes.

This guy's good,
all right.

It's the same stuff.

We know who's
doing these.

Good, because you know how many
investigators I got budgeted?

I bet you don't
guess three.

I started this job
a healthy man.

So these bars serving
underage kids don't even worry

About getting busted.

We sent a decoy downtown
a couple of months ago.

She was four feet,
eight inches tall.

She looked .

She wore braces.

She got served
in of saloons.

I hope you didn't
let her drive home.

Can we shut this place down,
or not?

Down? No.

It's just a fine
for the first

Second
or third offense.

It's a class-a misdemeanor.

Yo, couple brews.

What do you say
we try to get

Traci or brian
to make a statement?

They can't connect
this place to the accident.

Besides,
they love it here.

At least t.j.'S
not worried

About getting
loaded anymore.

Hey...

Hey, t.j.

How you doing?

Ah...

Why don't I give you
a lift home?

Hey, no thanks.

I'm fine.

Can I ask you
something, trace?

Hmm?

How come you always
hang around with these guys?

I thought
you knew.

Me and brian
are kind of involved.

Well, he's a lucky guy.

Wait a second, what guy?

You know, that guy--

I keep
calling him.

You think
I ought to believe him?

Why don't you sit tight.

I'll just grab my keys.

Thanks.

I'm giving t.j. A ride home.

He's kind of...

Oh, great,
he's gone.

T.j., Don't!

( Horn honking )

Come on, t.j.--

( Honking horn )

Pull over!

T.j., Pull over.

Pull over.

( Horn honking )

( Stuck horn honking )

T.j., You all right?

What?

You're under arrest, man.

I'm a cop.

( Heaving and vomiting )

So, are you

Tired of driving
the porcelain bus?

I've felt worse.

I don't get something.

If you're a cop, how come
you couldn't get served?

I was undercover.

Got it.

Look, t.j., We want you
to testify against the letterbox

That they served you and johnny

The night
of the accident.

No.

Come on.

Let's go after them.

Let's get
the people
responsible.

I'm responsible.

Hanson...

Yeah?

Mr. Caldwell is here
to sign t.j. Out.

You okay?

Hung over.

Good.

What happened?

He sideswiped a parked car

Wrapped himself
around a tree.

I'd say he was drunk.

T.j.'S had a tough couple
of months.

He could have k*lled somebody.

I understand
he's had a rough time.

You need to get t.j. Some help.

Your son is
a problem drinker.

Caldwell:
he has problems
and he drinks--

There's a difference.

No, there isn't.

Give me a call.

That was fast.

I'm a professional.

That's obvious.

Those are for amusement only.

Got that?

Yeah, well,
these i.d.s aren't.

Nice job!

Who did you go to?

The police department.

You're under arrest.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will
be used against you.

Officer palones,
did captain fuller
appear drunk?

No, sir.

Was his speech
slurred?

No, sir.

Were his eyes watery,
or was his balance off?

No, they weren't.

What was your
first indication

That officer fuller

Might be driving
under the influence?

He appeared
to be overly friendly.

That's a key to spotting
an alleged drunken driver.

Overly friendly, I see.

What did he say
to give you that impression?

He asked me how I was

And commented
on how chilly it was out.

Was it chilly out?

Yes, it was, sir.

Gentlemen--

I'm not trying to convince you
alcohol isn't a problem

And that it doesn't
ruin many, many lives.

I just don't believe
it should ruin this one.

( Phone rings )

Hanson.

Yeah, I'll be right down.

Thanks for coming.

What's up, t.j.?

I want to give you something.

Why?

So I don't
blow my head off.

I was driving
the car the night
johnny was hurt.

We were both drunk.

Johnny was way
worse off than me.

I just told him--

"Relax. Don't worry.
I'll get us home."

I don't even
remember the wreck.

They tell me I was thrown
from the car.

It was johnny's car

So they just figured
he was driving.

It's m*rder, right?

No, it's not.

Because johnny drowned.

He fell off the bridge.

Yeah.

Well, he was pushed.

I just couldn't let him
live like that.

I just couldn't.

Hanson:
kid loses his
best friend

And chances are
he'll be charged
with manslaughter.

He thought
he was helping a friend.

Think t.j. Will go to prison?

I hope not.

He should be going
to a hospital.

How's that going
to affect the case?

I don't know.

How did it go?

I got off.

Congratulations.

Don't congratulate me.

It wasn't a smart thing to do.

I think the next time

I have a couple of drinks
before driving home

I'll think twice.