04x16 - Fortunate Son

[bunniefuu]

Ben: If Mike doesn't show up, can I have his ravioli?

Everyone: No.

Maggie: Where is Mike anyway?He's usually home from work by dinner time.

Ben: They could have had an emergency at the carwash.

Carol: An emergency.What a bug storm on the expressway?

Jason: Carol, there's nothing wrong with having a part time job that involves a little physical labor.The money helps Mike pay his way around here.

Carol: So I could get a part time job too?

Jason: To pay your way around here?

Carol: Heck no.I mean of course to help pay my way around here.

Jason: I don't know.What do you think Maggie?

Maggie: Fine.As long as you don't become a topless dancer.

Carol: Oh great.I'll start pouting the pavement tomorrow.

Ben: Look out pavement.

Mike: Hey.Sorry I'm late guys.Emergency overtime.Bug storm on the expressway.You know, you know I hate my job, if I could find anything else I'd jump at it.The only good thing about this stupid carwash job is payday.Boy its Saturday and I am ready to party.

Jason: Payday!Well then you're also ready to pay this months rent.

Mike: Yeah, no problem.

Jason: And last month's rent.

Mike: Uh, no problem.

Carol: So you can also pay me back the twenty dollars you borrowed?

Mike: No.

Carol: No problem.

Mike: Hey.Alright, now what the heck am I supposed to do with two dollars?

Ben: You could come play some video games with me.

Mike: Bennie, a college man has much more important things to do on a Saturday night than destroying galaxies with his dweebie little brother.

Ben: I'll buy.

Mike: Let's roll.

Ben: Wow.You just mad intergalactic assassin!

Mike: Words cannot express my joy.

Ben: Want another burrito?

Mike: No.I'm still tasting that last one.You know Bennie, there's got to be more to life than working in a stupid car wash and eating burritos that repeat.

Ben: So get another job.

Mike: I've been looking for a new job for the passed three weeks.You know a job is not easy to find.

Ben: Sure it is.Excuse me; do you need any help here?

Man: Yes, I can help.

Ben: No no.Who do we see to get this gopher a job?

Man: Job?

Ben: Yeah, who do we see for a job?

Man: Job?Ah sorry, don't carry pork chop, but we've got pork sausage and pork rind.

Mike: No, no.Bennie, Bennie, never mind.

Ben: Do you need other people to work here?

Man: Work here, yes.I work here.

Mike: No Bennie, forget it.

Ben: Work here.Him.

Man: Ah, I get for you mini jar.

Mike: Mini jar?

Ben: The manager.That would be great.

Mike: I, I, that would be good.

Ben: When the mini jar gets here, let me do all the talking.

Mike: I'll do my own talking, alright.

Manager: Ah, well which one of you men is looking for work?

Ben: He is.Let me tell you about the lad.

Manager: I'm Nick Simpson, and you're?

Ben: Mike Seaver.

Mike: Mike Seaver.

Manager: Oh, and this is your agent, right?

Mike: Right.

Ben: Ah, what's an agent?

Manager: Somebody who gets you a job and then gets a piece of the action.

Ben: I'm his agent.Ben Seaver.Pleased to meet you.

Manager: Hello Ben.You look like a nice kid Mike.

Mike: Well, I am.

Ben: He am.

Manager: Have you ever worked before?

Mike: Yeah.I've had two other jobs.

Manager: Are you a full time student?

Mike: Yeah.I go to Alf Landen Junior college.

Manager: Do you have a way to get here?

Mike: Yeah.My car's right outside.

Manager: Well listen, the late shift starts in fifteen minutes.Are you interested?

Ben: We'll take it.

Mike: We'll take it.Yeah.You mean you want me to start right now?

Manager: Oh yes.I need a man right away.Poor Raji is working a double shift.He's been working so hard, his dot is about to fall off.

Jason: Hey hi Ben.

Ben: Yeah, yeah, yeah.Don't try and cheer me up.

Jason: About what?

Ben: he makes me walk home after I find him a new job.

Maggie: Who?

Ben: Me.

Maggie: No.Who got a new job?

Ben: Mike.He started fifteen minutes ago.Let's see how long he lasts without me.

Carol: You got Mike a job?

Ben: Yeah.Haven't you been listening?

Ben: Yeah, yeah, yeah.Don't try and cheer me up.

Jason: Enough about the jokes.Give me a little exposition here.

Ben: Ok.Mike's working the graveyard shift at the Stop and Run.

Maggie: The what shift?

Ben: The graveyard shift.

Maggie: I don't think I like that.

Ben: You don't like it!You didn't have to walk home.

Maggie: No, no.A lot of robberies happen at those stores, and most of them happen late at night.

Ben: Relax.He's got a g*n under the counter.What could happen?

Raj: And remember all cash in overnight machine, or they k*ll you for sure.

Mike: Alright, I'll remember that.

Raj: OK.These are h* h*'s, Yu Who's, Ding Dongs.

Mike: Wow.

Mike: Ah, that is kinda cute.

Raj: Tomorrow night, not having to call.This last night on graveyard, thanks be to you.Tomorrow night it will be...

Mike: You Who Dong Dong?

Raj: Ah, I show you how to handle customer.Watch closely.

Mike: OK.

Raj: May I help you please?So much.Ahh, Nameste.

Customer: Nameste.

Customer: No Wow Wow!Ok.

Raj: Any questions?

Mike: Mum.

Maggie: Oh, Hi Mike.

Mike: You're polishing the silver ware in the middle of the night?

Maggie: Well it had to be done some time and I've been putting it off and putting it off.

Mike: Mum, mum.What are you worried about?

Maggie: Nothing, nothing.Certainly not you.You've got a g*n under the counter and everything.

Mike: Oh, you heard about my new job?

Maggie: I did.

Mike: Well listen, there's nothing to worried about.I mean all I saw tonight was a bunch of insomniacs buying frozen burritos.You want one?Right, I'll turn in.

Maggie: Mike, your father and I agreed that we can't order you around like a kid anymore.If this is a job you want, so be it.

Mike: It's a very mature attitude mum.

Maggie: It was a very close vote.

Mike: And I appreciate it.Goodnight.

Maggie: I suppose it would be too much to ask you to simply enquire about a schedule change?Just to keep your poor mother form worrying herself into an early grave.So don't.Goodnight.

Mike: Alright mum.Look, I'm the new guy in town.I can't just go in there and startdemanding these primo hours.

Maggie: Like I said, if it's too much to ask you to merely make the request, I understand.Oh sleep well honey.I'll be fine.Really.

Mike: Mum look.Alright, I'll ask my boss.But I know what his answers going to be.

Maggie: His answer to what dear?

Mike: To me getting off the stupid graveyard shift.

Maggie: Oh if that's what you think you should do.

Mike: Right.

Maggie: He he he.I should be ashamed of myself.The kid didn't stand a chance.

Mike: Yo, Raj.

Raj: Yo pork chop.How are you doing?

Mike: Oh, very well to be seeing you here.But not so pleased to be seeing you at work.

Raj: Ha.I am double shifting.

Manager: Raj.You've been working here too long.I'm actually beginning to understand you.Aren't you a shade early?Like about twelve hours.

Mike: Yeah, listen.That's kind of what I want to ask you about.

Manager: Hang on a second.Jerry, I'm glad you're here.Grab an apron please.Raj is about to drop.Oh and Jerry, this is Mike Seaver here.He'll be taking over graveyard.

Jerry: Oh really?

Mike: Hi yeah.

Manager: And don't scare him about working graveyard with your silly little robber story.

Mike: What silly little robbery story?

Manager: Oh forget it.So what's on your mind?

Mike: Listen Nick, I know that I am new here, so I don't even expect you to consider this, but I told my mum that I would at least ask and make the request.

Mike: Right.Well, see, I want to be able to honestly tell my mother that I asked to be put on a safer shift.So there.I asked.You listened.Thanks.

Manager: So the day shift would be better for you, mum wise.Is that what you are trying to say?Mike: Well yeah, but...

Manager: Hang on.I'll see what I can do.Jerry!Listen, you didn't mind working the late shift did you?

Jerry: No.I got used to it.

Manager: Well you can get used to it again, right?

Jerry: Yeah, yeah.I guess so.

Raj: Well I...sure.I be here Nick.

Mike: Uh, look Nick.I feel kind of funny here.I just started here and I don't think it's fair that...

Manager: Yes, yes.You are absolutely right.I'm going to put you back on graveyard.It wouldn't be fair.I'm only kidding.

Mike: Right right.It's just that I know how much it mean to Raj and, and, it's just that they've been here longer and I don't think it's fair that they should get stuck with the graveyard..

Manager: Mike, please.If we can't take care of our own, who will?

Jason: Hey, Hi Mike.Do you realize that you are wondering around aimlessly in a puke blue jacket?

Mike: Oh, I, I got to go to work in ten minutes.

Maggie: Oh, you got the shift change?

Mike: Yeah.Sure did.

Maggie: Oh now aren't you glad you asked?

Mike: Words cannot express my joy.

Jason: Mike.

Mike: Hey dad, let me ask you something.Have you even got something really good, that you didn't deserve?

Maggie: Oh, sure he did.He got me.

Mike: No, no, no.I mean something that you really wanted.

Maggie: Go on Mike.

Jason: Quickly.

Mike: Well dad, I mean has someone ever treated you really nice, because of who you are, and not what you did or how well you did it?

Jason: Mike, Mike, Mike.Does this involve a girl?I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make sense out of something the boys trying to share with us.

Mike: Look, I got to go.

Maggie: Mike, you're not making any sense.

Jason: Are you upset?

Mike: Hey, how could I be upset?I just got a new job, where I'm kept warm, I work safe hours and I wear a puke blue jacket.

Maggie: A girl!

Jason: Oh so you weren't thinking that?

Mike: Yo Raj.How are you doing?

Raj: Mike.I'm kind of busy right now.

Mike: Yeah well listen.Raj.I really want to apologize for...

Raj: Busy.Busy, busy.

Mike: Hey jerry man.How's it going?

Jerry: I'm here.

Mike: Listen Jerry, I really wanted to say that I'm sorry that you and Raj have to go back to this graveyard shift just because I'm here.

Jerry: Hey, I've been around.I understand that this is how it works.

Mike: How what works?

Jerry: Ha ha ha ha!Yeah, right!

Mike: I mean, I won't have any part of this.Hey Nick.

Winnie: Oh I can't remember if this is the one, or the one next to it.

Manager: Oh.Well why don't you take both of them and let your arthritis decide?

Winnie: Oh I can't afford both of them.

Manager: It's alright.They're on the house.It's alright.I heard the store manager's a real nice guy.

Winnie: Thank you.

Manager: So, what's up?

Mike: Wow.Well, you are a nice guy.

Manager: You heard too hu?

Mike: Yeah.Look, you gave me that shift change because I'm white.Didn't you?

Manager: Mike, have you been dipping into the Wow Wow's?

Mike: You don't sell Wow Wow's anymore.

Mike: Look, maybe this was just a big misunderstanding.Why don't we forget the whole thing?

Manager: No, no.Please, let me straighten this out.I don't want you going around telling people I'm prejudice.

Mike: Ok, um, what did you mean when you said...

Manager: Wait a minute.You're not Jewish, are you?I'm only kidding.

Mike: Right.What did you mean when you said about us taking care of our own?

Manager: Ah no.I didn't mean it as an insult.I didn't want to upset you.It's just that there are so many different kinds of people in this world, and you and I happen to be the same kind.

Mike: White.

Manager: Well, yeah.If there were a black man sitting in this manager's chair, then he'd be looking out for Jerry.

Mike: Well, I don't know...

Manager: Or if the manager were Iranian or Indian or whatever Raj is, don't you think that he'd be looking to give him a break or two?

Mike: Well I didn't really think about it like that.

Manager: Yeah.Well, that's the way it works.

Mike: But, that doesn't seem right.

Manager: Um.Welcome to the real world.

Mike: So you mean to tell me that you weren't making fun of Raj when you were talking about his dot falling off?

Manager: Well were you making fun of him when you were imitating his accent?

Mike: No.I was just fooling around.

Manager: So was I.

Mike: Well then I'm a little confused.

Manager: You see, if I were the kind of man who bragged, I would point out my six, actually seven Minority Employer of The Year awards.You see those.

Mike: I had no idea.

Manager: So I give the new white kid a break.Does that make me a bigot?The bottom line is, have I treated them any different from how I treat you?

Mike: I guess not.

Manager: Have you talked to Jerry and Raj about this?

Mike: Yeah.

Manager: And?

Mike: And Jerry says that's just the way it works.

Manager: Smart boy.You see they have no problem, I have no problem, so how could you have a problem?

Mike: I don't, I don't.I guess I was just a little confused.

Manager: You know what?You would be good management material.

Mike: Oh great, what's for dinner?I'm starved.

Maggie: Burritos.

Mike: You know, I really should watch my saturated fats.

Jason: Hey Mike, shouldn't we finish that conversation we started before you left for work?

Mike: About what?

Maggie: Well we are fairly sure it wasn't about girls.Hey Jason?

Jason: More sure than I've been about anything in my life.

Mike: Look, it turned out to be nothing.I mean have you ever just opened up your mouth and made a complete fool of yourself?

Maggie: Um, Jason?

Jason: So mike.What did you say?Who did you say it to?

Mike: See, I just thought that I was getting special treatment at work because I'm white.

Maggie: Excuse me?

Jason: Wait wait wait a minute.How's the way the world works?

Mike: Well just because he's white and I'm white and he gave me a break, doesn't mean he's prejudiced.

Jason: It doesn't?

Maggie: Mike, what do you think prejudice means?

Mike: Well you know mum.Like not letting certain people into your schools.Or uh, spraying them down with fire hoses.You know, stuff you see on the news.

Jason: Mike, Mike, prejudice means giving somebody special treatment, any special treatment.

Mike: Well then I am confused.

Maggie: How could you be confused?Where did we ever give you the idea that it was alright to be a little bit prejudiced?

Mike: No, no, no mum.It's not like that at all.I mean Nick has got awards and all his other employees are minorities.

Jason: Yeah well, but you said you got this shift change because you were white.

Mike: Well yeah.

Jason: Well then what's the confusion Mike?

Mike: Now I'm really confused.

Jason: Well then let me straighten it out for you then Mike.You go to this guy Nick, and you say: I don't accept any special treatment, I want my old shift back.Right Maggie?

Maggie: Uh.Jason, you and I should talk about this later.

Maggie: I don't want my son shot at three am, over a pack of gum.

Jason: Maggie!

Maggie: You asked.

Jason: Well so what.He should take advantage of this guys prejudice?

Maggie: No.

Jason: Well then what are you saying?

Mike: She's saying that Raj should get shot at three in the morning.

Maggie: I am not.And I'm against anybody being shot at any hour of the day or night.And who the hell is Raj?

Jason: Maggie, this is about unfair treatment.

Maggie: You want him working at three in the morning with a g*n under the counter?

Jason: No, of course I don't.That is not what I'm talking about.

Maggie: Jason, Jason, I hate prejudice.But what would it really change to send our son back to the graveyard...shift.

Jason: But this is wrong.

Maggie: You're right.

Jason: Yes I am.Yes.You know something else?So are you.

Mike: Well that sure clears everything right up for me.

Maggie: I wish this had been about girls.

Jerry: If Nick asks, tell him I'm stacking the soft drinks alright?

Mike: Right.Your change is a buck sixteen.

Customer: I thought they only moved that fast when they were carrying a TV or football.

Mike: Funny.

Manager: What the hell is this?Jerry!Jerry!

Mike: Ah Nick, Jerry just left.

Manager: He left?I ask him to stack the soda and look at the mess he makes.That lazy son of a...His salary is going to be docked for this.

Manager: You did this?

Mike: Yeah.

Manager: Oh, well uh, try to be more careful would you son?Somebody unscrewed this.This was no accident.Wait a minute.You didn't get too busy and forget.Did you?

Mike: Look, do you know that you are prejudiced, or are you just kidding yourself?

Manager: You rude smart arse know it all.What are you trying to prove here?Hu?

Mike: I'm not trying.I just proved it.

Manager: You white bread suburban punks really get to me.Some day you'll figure out what the score is.

Mike: Yeah, well I just did.

Manager: You know you've got a lot to learn about the real world.

Mike: Yeah.Well I won't be learning it from you.I quit.

Manager: You know something?You are one confused little kid.

Mike: Not anymore.

Jason: Hey Maggie.How was your day?

Maggie: Oh not so hot.

Jason: Mine neither.

Maggie: Oh honey I didn't mean...

Jason: I don't want...

Maggie and Jason: Go ahead.

Jason: How are we supposed to communicate with Mike when we can't communicate with each other?

Maggie: Wait a minute.You don't think that we communicate?

Jason: Shut up and kiss me.

Mike: Hi guys...

Maggie: Mike, before you say another word, I just want you to know that your father was right.You should go back on graveyard.I don't like it, but it's right.

Mike: Well see, I...

Jason: Wait a minute.I was not right Maggie.I don't want Mike endangering himself.

Mike: Dad, don't worry.

Jason: I have to worry.You're my son.

Mike: I quit.

Maggie: Mike, no matter how old you get, you cannot quit being our son.

Mike: I don't mean I quit our family.I mean I quit our job.And uh, I really want to thank you two for showing me what's right.And Carol, where are the stinking wanted ads?

Maggie: Jason, he thinks that we showed him what was right.

Jason: I won't tell him if you don't.