01x03 - Ray Goes Cray

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

[ kids all shouting ]

- Alright, that's enough!

- How'd we do?! - Whoops.

- Poorly.

- Can we practice tonight and re-take this test tomorrow?!

- This wasn't even the test!

I just thought it'd be fun if you guys sat bouncy for a while.

- Why don't you sit bouncy if you think it's so easy.

- Nah.

The real test is about to begin.

- Finally. - Don't ever give up.

- I feel duped.

- Who can tell me the easiest crime to commit?

- Jaywalking. - Jay-dancing.

- Stealing my phone.

- White collar crime -- rarely prosecuted.

- You're all wrong! Except for Miles.

Now I'm talking about a crime that's so easy

it's like taking candy from a baby.

Schwoz!

- I am baby.

I loves me lolly.

And I hope no one takes from me.

- So you want us to stop you from taking candy from a baby?

- Oh not me. I'm far too good a person for that.

You're stopping...

[ evil voice ] Roy!

- Roy? - It's Ray, but evil!

And I hope he no takes me lolly!

- [ evil voice ] Oh, Roy's takin' that lolly.

Unless somebody... stops me.

- Get zapped! - No.

- Okay maybe not. Maybe this one!

- Miss! - This one!

- Miss! - You're dodging.

- Miss. CHAPA: Stop, stop dodging!

[ evil voice ] - Didn't even have to dodge.

Roy don't dodge.

- Aiiiiiieee! Oh! - Dangit!

- [ evil voice ] You failed to stop Roy.

NEXT!

- Did it get a little cloudy in here?

'Cuz I think a brainstorm's a brewin'...

- [ evil voice ] Sick entrance line.

Roy approves. Let's see how you do with the execyoosh.

- Whack him, Bose!

- Sorry guys. One more grunt

and I'd have to change my pants again today.

- [ evil voice ] Thanks for the weapon, kid.

Roy played baseball in high school.

Four-hundred RBI's.

Coulda' gone pro, if it wasn't for Roy's dang knee.

- How deep is Roy's backstory?

- [ evil voice ] Deeper than the seas,

where Roy's a certified scuba instructor.

NEXT!

- Get ready to be...

"blown away."

- [ evil voice ] Unnecessary air quotes --

B minus. - Dangit!

Aaahhh!

Take... that.

- [ evil voice ] Took it. Bored. NEXT!

- On the contrary, there will not be a next.

- [ evil voice ] What?

- I refuse to be tested, Roy.

I won't play your game.

And besides, the solution will reveal itself.

- [ evil voice ] So... you're just gonna let baby die?

- Wait, what?!

- I thought you were just gonna take his candy.

- [ evil voice ] What you don't know is that...

the lollipop contains the very medicine

that keeps baby alive.

- Miles, you have to fight him!

You can't just wait for every problem to solve itself.

SCHOOL ROOM VOICE: [span] Stranger approaching.[/span]

[span]School Mode Activated.[/span]

- Aiiiieeee!

- All right, test over!

- See? The problem solved itself.

Feels good to be right.

- FEMALE VOICE: [span] Hello?![/span]

Oh. Hey, handsome.

- Ehhhhh.

Can we help you?

- Depends. You know any good lookin' guys with low standards?

- Wait, aren't you a teacher at Swellview Junior High?

- I was. But Swellview Junior High and I

both decided that it was time to part ways.

- So you got fired. - Bingo!

Anyway, I work for the city now.

Sharona Shapen, School Inspector, see?

Gotta make sure every school in Swellview has a license.

And according to my records...

you ain't got one.

- Well can we get one?

- Maybe.

But you gotta pass my test!

- I can pass your test! Anything.

Give me your test, I'll pass it.

You got this.

- Not you, smarty pants!

- Thank you. I like yours too.

- Yeah I'll bet ya do. They're Bucci.

This whole school needs to pass my test.

You kids, the water supply, your hot teacher...

I need to conduct a thorough investigation

of this school right now or I'mma sssshutin' it down.

- Weeee... can't take your test today

because we're going on a field trip.

- Where to? - A field.

- Can I come?

- Did you get your parent's signature?

- No, my parents are ashamed of me.

- Awww.

- All right then. Well have a nice day.

- Well I'll be back tomorrow!

And I better see some teaching. And some learning.

Some Phys Ed. Some Driver's Ed.

I wanna see allllll the Eds.

And if I don't... I'm ssssssshuttin' it down.

- We better find some Eds.

It all just kinda happened.

[ kids all taking at once ]

- Stop talking!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!

[ kids in unison ] - Emergency!

- That's just the doorbell. - I know.

[ music ]

[ doorbell rings ]

- ...and now you know everything Albert Einstein knew.

Oh hello. Whatever brings you

to our modest and totally real school?

- Cool your toots, Fancy Boots.

It ain't real 'til I says it's real.

now let's blast some school inspection music

and get this done.

♪ Yeah boy I'm wicked smart ♪

♪ Gimme dem books Let's get it started ♪

♪ Yeah boy Wicked smart ♪

♪ Gimme dem books Let's get it started ♪

♪ Yeah boy Wicked smart ♪

♪ Gimme dem books Let's get it started ♪

♪ Yeah boy Wicked smart ♪

♪ Wick-wick wicked smart

♪ Wick-wicked wicked smart

♪ You say I should study harder ♪

♪ Glasses make my face look smarter ♪

♪ One by land and two by sea ♪

♪ Three for you and four for me ♪

♪ Wicked smart

- Well, that's it. You all failed.

- How? - No no no no.

- Failed to do anything wrong. You passed.

- Yeah! - That's right!

- Swellview Academy for the Gifted

is an officially licensed school.

- Nice!

- Swet! - Yeah!

- You'll get your two new students tomorrow.

- What? - Whoa whoa whoa...

Take that and rewind it back. What two new students?

- Oh well there's a shortage of available space

at gifted schools.

I got two kids been learnin' at a bus station

for the last month.

- Yuck. - Awesome.

- I'm moving them here tomorrow.

- Well what if I don't take them?

- Well then I'm sssshutin' you down!

[ siren buzzes ]

- You shuttin' this place down, Sharona?

- I don't know...

Are we?

- Fine. We'll take 'em.

- Carry me out, Buster!

Whoo!

See you tomorrow!

♪ Wick-wicked wicked smart

[ music ]

- so we find these kids' personal information,

and then we fill out an application to--

- Borrrrring! Schwoz, go get the memory wiper.

The new kids show up, we erase their memories.

Badaboom bada- - Do you ever listen?

- Are you kidding me?! - I told you ten times!

The memory wiper got destroyed when you and Kid Danger fought Drex.

It's not going to "conveniently" get us out of things anymore.

[ Ray groans ]

- I know how we can get rid of these kids.

We get a chainsaw, and a ceiling fan, and a--

MIKA: Chapa, No! - I don't get it.

- What's your deal? Why are you so scary?

- A boy stole my cellphone. - So buy another one!

- No! If your best friend got stolen

would you just "buy another one?"

- Yes! My best friend moved to Dystopia

so bought four new ones!

- Aww, love you man. - We'll get there.

- Hokay, according to The Big Book Of Swellview Laws,

if these new kids agree to leave the school on their own...

- Then Miss Shapen and her sleeveless g*ons

can't shut us down!

- So we just make life as miserable as possible

for these new kids, and they agree to leave on their own.

- Good plan, Chapa.

- And shockingly, not violent.

- You didn't let me finish.

We find out who they love the most.

And then in the middle of the night, we--

- Oh, come on! MIKA: Chapa, please!

- You were doing so good. Come on!

[ Schwoz groans ]

- Hurry up! They're coming!

- Hey.

- Ray, I found this broken chair in the basement!

- Love it. Explain.

- We'll make one of the new kids

sit in this rusty, busted-up, thang...

and we'll make the other sit on this termite stool.

- What's a termite stool? - Stool fulla' termites!

Give it a sit! - No!

- Ehh. Probably smart.

- So, I was thinking-- - Not finished!

When the new kids get here,

I'm also gonna use my powers to make stuff float.

And I'm gonna use my throat to make ghost noises like,

[ ghost voice ] "Souuuuuuuuuup..."

- Soup? - Ghosts love soup.

They tell me all the time.

- Good enough.

- Hey, where's Scary Bradshaw?

- Chapa is hiding in the closet with a chainsaw.

When we give her the cue,

she's gonna jump out and scare the new kids.

- Like it, love it, I want more of it.

- What do you got?

- I plan on living with an open heart and a strong mind.

And I'll remain like that until the solution presents itself.

- [ sighs ] Who made you this way?!

- The system.

- I miss Henry I miss Henry I miss Henry...

Mika! - Okay, don't get mad, but--

- Yeah but see, that always makes me mad.

- But once I learn these kids names

I'm gonna enter their personal information into--

- A supercomputer that will eat them?

- No. - Then I don't care. Next!

- Okay what are you gonna do?

- I'm glad someone finally asked.

RAY: It's a test of strength.

Just like any other test of strength

you'd see at a normal school.

- No, wouldn't see that. - Where did you even go to school?

- You use this hammer to make Schwoz go all the way up there

to ring that bell. - Hello.

- How is this gonna make the new kids wanna leave?

- Ha-ha! You'll see...

SCHOOL ROOM VOICE: [span] Stranger approaching.[/span]

- Okay that's them. Now remember, whatever happens,

we gotta be really mean to these new kids!

BOSE: Right.

[ new kids gasp ]

- Why Percy! It's our new school!

I'm sure we will love it so!

- Oh we shall, Miriam.

We shall finally be happy here...

in our new school.

- And it smells ever so much better than the bus station.

- That's because there's a bathroom here, sweetie.

[ Miriam and Percy gasp ]

- Anyway, I gotta go.

It's hump day so there's free sushi at the gas station.

And there's nothing like eating sushi in head to toe Bucci.

Deuces!

- Uh, hello. I'm your teacher. And--

- But you can't be our instructor.

You're far too young and handsome.

- And your generous spirit is as clear

as the kindness in your eyes.

- Would you excuse us for just one moment?

- Certainly. - Take your time.

[ chainsaw starts ]

[ Ray, Mika, Miles and Bose scream ]

- Hello...

- Oh, god!

- Sorry I thought you were those gunchy new kids!

- Turns out they're not gunchy at all!

They're sweet as molasses!

- I don't know if I can soup ghost them.

- Their last school didn't have a bathroom...

- They've been through so much!

Plus Percy winked at me and it melted my heart!

- And Miriam complimented me!

- Seriously, I mean no bathroom!

Where have they been goin'?! - Hey!

- I mean, I am very young looking

so the compliment makes sense but--!

- Hey! Hey!

- Ow! Stop Slapping me! I'm listening!

- We are crime fighters!

We can't have a couple a' bus station biscuits

sniffin' around here or we can't respond to emergency calls!

- Yeah, I guess you're right. - True.

- I don't care how many fake compliments they give us.

- How dare you. - Or how many fake winks we get!

- They were real! - She's so mean.

- Hey, hey. I have a non-violent plan

that just requires a little bitta paperwork.

- Aiiiieee! - Where'd you come from?

- We've already missed three emergency calls

since those kids got here!

[ everyone groans in frustration ]

- See?! Swellview needs us.

So get out there, be mean to those new kids

and send them back to the bus station!

Who's with me?

- Ahhh! We're with you! - With you!

- Did they just use a bucket?

- Hey listen, I let those slaps go last time but next time--

Ahhh! I'll see you out there.

[ music ]

- What is math? Can you touch it?

Can you hold it in your hand?

If you shake it, would it rattle?

Over the next forty-five minutes,

we're gonna to find out, together,

the answer to all these questions, and more...

and I think along the way,

we're gonna have a little bit of fun.

- Ahhhh! - Good Heavens!

My termite bench just gave me quite a shock!

- Bet it hurt, right?

- Indeed it did.

- But you know, Percy, that brief pain

made me grateful for all the times I'm not in pain.

- Quite so. It seems the lessons at this school

go beyond what can be learned from books alone.

- What.

- May I also say, I love your festive mask!

- Yeah I love yours too -- look a floating pencil!

- Oh no this place is haunted!

- [ ghost voice ] Souuuuuuuuup...

- Spirits? Can you hear us?

Tell Princess Diana that our country misses her so!

- And we hope she's having all the soup her heart desires.

- I'm sorry I can't get over this --

when you were at the bus station,

where did you go to the bathroom?!

- Alright, that's it test of strength.

You. Benedict Cumberbutt.

Get up here. - Right away, sir.

- Take this hammer. Hit that and try to get

Professor Schwoz to ring the bell.

- Hello.

- I shall try my level best.

- How is this supposed to make them want to leave?

- See the head on that hammer?

I swapped it out with a Bolivian Boom Stone.

[ Ray giggles ]

- What do those do?

- They go boom.

- For the Princess!

[ boom ]

- My brother!

- My knitting!

- It's okay! I've always wanted to fly!

[ Mika groans ]

- Daaaahh!

[ music ]

[ tube alert ]

- I'm so tired.

[ Mika yawns her super-scream ]

- Aaiiiee! Oh!

- Sorry.

[ yawns ]

- Where have you beens all night?

- Fighting crime.

[ mutters gibberish ]

- We had to take care of all the emergencies

we missed during the day when Percy and Miriam were here.

- Well ten more emergencies came in while you were gone.

[ they all groan ]

[ angry gibberish ]

- What's wrong with Ray? - Oh, no...

- Is that a good "Oh, no?"

- Oh, no no. It's a bad one.

Did no one put Ray down for a nap last night?

- Were we supposed to? - Yes!

If Ray doesn't get enough sleep,

he turns bad until he can sleep again.

- Like a good bad?

- Remember "Roy" who wanted to take candy

from that handsome baby?

- I remember Roy.

- Yeah he was like Ray, but evil.

- That's what happens to Ray if he doesn't get enough sleep.

- You know something now, Ch-Chapa?

You got -- laugh at yourself!

Schwoz! Do you still keep your flesh eating bacteria

in this old mayonnaise jar? - Your what?

BACTERIA [ CREEPY VOICE ]: [span] Flesssshhhhhh...[/span]

- Ahh! - Answered my own question.

- Whaaaaaat? - Mmm-mmm.

- Imma go throw it on those kids.

- No, Roy -- I mean, Ray -- you shouldn't do that!

- Why not? - Because it might get on you?

- I'm indestructible. And sotired.

- But it still might eat off all of your hair!

BACTERIA [ CREEPY VOICE ]: [span] Hairrrrrrrr...[/span]

- Shut up bacteria leave me alone I'm so handsome...

- Okay -- new problem: we can't let Ray

throw that flesh-eating bacteria on Percy and Miriam.

- Agreed. CHAPA: You're right.

Step one -- we stay awake.

If we fall asleep we can't protect Percy and Miriam.

- We're fine. School starts in ten minutes.

- Good. We can make it ten minutes.

- Yeah, I'm not tired at all.

- Hello, schoolmates?

- Oh, Percy! What's wrong with them?

- I'm awake! - What?

- Is there something wrong?

- Yes. You guys gotta get outta here.

- We would never abandon you in a time of need.

- No. SW.A.G. for life, I say.

- And so say I!

[ all groan in frustration ]

- Has anyone seen Ray?

- I thought he was with you! - Yah... he's not.

- Okay out the door let's go let's go s'go s'go s'go s'go...

- Cheeeeeeeeerio, kiddies!

Who's hungry for mayonnaise?!

[ the kids scream ]

- S'go s'go s'go s'go... - Into the closet, Canadians!

- Is there something wrong with teacher?!

- Yes! Just don't come out until we tell you!

- Where are those Brits? I gotta get rid of those kids.

- Ray, you need sleep.

- Which I'll never get as long as they're here!

- Ray. You got two options.

Either you go to bed.

Or we're going to put you to bed.

- Third option -- spin move!

Daaah!

- Next stop -- the Man's Nest.

Oh c'mon, not even out of the room?!

- Lemme at those kids!

- Hey. Hey!

[ super-screams ]

- AHHHHHH!

- Friends! We can stay idle no longer!

Are you okay?

MISS SHAPEN: [span] Hello?![/span]

What's going on in there?!

- Uh... normal school stuff?

- Ah-ha! There's my little British bake-offs.

You're coming with me.

- What's this? - Whatever for?

- I got a new school for ya'.

- We will never leave our friends!

- SW.A.G. forever, I say! - And so say I!

- Yeah, you're going to forget about these dopes

in like two seconds when the horsedrawn carriage gets here.

- Ahhhh! Ahhhhh!

My hair, my beautiful hair!

Ahhh! It burns! Oh god it burns!

- What's his problem? - He just needs a nap --

what's this about a horse-drawn carriage?

- Some billionaire in Bordertown

runs a school for poor, gifted English kids.

- Oh, does he?

- Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork to apply.

I don't know how you did it.

- Me neither! It's almost like someone else

filled out their applications for them.

- Yeah whatever. Anyway, each kid gets a million bucks

and a banger of an education.

Much better than this dump. - Hey!

- What kind of gifted school is run by an old bald guy in a wheelchair?

- I am not old!

- Pipe down, Mr. Clean.

[ wheelchair crashes ]

RAY: Oh my hair!

- This school can keep its license,

but I'm never sending any other students here again.

Now come on, Beans and Toast. Time to Brexit.

- We will never forget you!

- SW.A.G forever, I say!

- And so say I.

- Can't believe Miles was right.

- About what?

- The solution revealed itself. - What?

- Hey, yeah. It did.

- The universe will provide.

- Mika provides. I filled out their applications

while everyone else wasn't paying any attention to me!

Hello? Hello?!

I exist!

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay

♪ I'm okaaaay!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!