Piranha 3DD (2012)

[bunniefuu]

It seems like only yesterday the party would go on forever but in just 12 short months, the place

known as americas spring break capital has become a virtual ghost town who can forget the

devastating attack on lake victoria, that left scores of people dead, and a community in shock

and who could have guessed that this hell on earth would be rocked by a species of Piranha

believed extinct for the last 2 million years a massive eradication program has left these waters

teeming with life silent and dead after a massive exous that left most property abandoned the

local econemy fell into ruin lake victoria is now a quarantine area only weeds grow on the

beaches where thousands once soaked up the sun and the only boats that remain, are dusty

relics littering the shoreline as we look back on the anniversary of this tragic event were left to

wonder, if it happened here can it happen again. and if so, where?

Sarah Sarah... hollering aint gonna do you a damn bit of good

i got my foot stuck in a rut

there she is right there is she dead?

thats a big old cow aint it... yeah she took second place at county last year

what the hell... theres somethin laying on her belly shine the light on the belly see whats going

on

theres something in there...

holy flying babyshit damn piece of crap i think i got a lighter that smell would knock a buzzard

off a dump truck

fudge, thats the gassiest damn cow i ever seen

ahh... sh*t sh*t sh*t

Carl

carl, get away

hey, its time to get wet again comeon down. our lifeguards are hot, single, and ready to party

with someone like you so if you wanna cool off, comeon down to the hottest hole in town

3 words for you... the big wet and remember, double D swims free

oh boy, hold on... cut it

hey hi ive got to cut something off at the pass here you go, keep them wet and are you guys

friends of someone?

Maddie... get over here and give your step dad a hug Chet, tell me you did not fire our old

lifeguards and replace them with... strippers water certified strippers... really... more than that

pumpkin unbelievable. listen, before your sweet momma died, god rest her soul she made me

promise her to keep this waterpark running and im just gonna make sure that i provide for you

aswell as she did im your daddy now were so lucky to have each other wow ched, sometimes i

really think you beleive whats comign out of your mouth baby doll you are gonna love this...

adult pool, go ahead

we are gonna make bank on this

what do you think? i think this is a very expensive joke worlds first strip bar at a waterpark thats

a stroke of genious, franchising baby no no no no, oh dont worry about that install a little extra

chlorine and sulphuric acid in the pool it sanitises everything hey kiki why dont you get your

shapely a*s out of the pool

russian..shes a doctor now keep your eyes over there, on the flat screen T.V i call this the cooch

cam... but im open to suggestions check it out

thats disgusting.-do not touch it im getting rid of it thats not your call dont you forget that im

still half owner of this place ohh... is that right? raise your hand if you own 51 %... of this...

waterpark now raise your hand if you have 49 % minority on it... thats you

hey hey maddie how are you... whats new? well, this is the summer. shall we finally abstain from

abstinence shes afraid to have sex because her cousin gave birth to a flipper baby stop it that

didnt happen here he comes here he comes the boy whos going to pop her cherry he just

doesnt know it yet hey maddie what do you think of all the new changes around here?

Josh, meet me at the lake alright, see yah, cool what am i? the last guy to know your back? hi...

how are you?... i missed you oh me too. bet you wish you were still in grad school for the

summer huh? i cant believe what cheds done ...i know this place is everything to me working

here... hanging out. i know i miss those moments too so look, now that your back... hey you

guys, are you sure thats such a good idea?

there better not be any underage drinking going on here here you go pal come on man im on

duty cant be drinking you got fireworks... indecent exposure... probable drugs...

definite drugs i might just have to write you up

i dont see what he has, that i dont have...

6 inches and a badge? i heard you were back in town, so i figured id stop by and say hey and i

feel i should say something about the last time we talked no, you dont have to long distance

relationships... there weird your back now for the summer should be an interesting summer

i..ahh..im still on duty so... ok welcome back

i had fun at the party tonight. yeah me too

i love the water its uhh... really wet

what are you thinking about? nothing much hey, lets take off all our clothes and go swimming

uhh... ok cool, sure

turn around...

Shelby?

Shelby?

Shelby! you coming in or what? yeah im coming

no funny stuff ok

you want some of this... you want some? your not supposed to splash me back

what? ...i just felt something against me is that you? what are you talking about?

ow, what are you doing? i didnt... well whatever it is, i dont like it i didnt do anything

shelby, where are you going? im cold im getting out

you have to do it ok fine dear lord

come on ok. dear lord please forgive us for what we are about to do we both know that having

relations before marriage is a sin, but we know that we will be forgiven for it because... were

praying about it Amen. Amen. you can f*ck me now amen ohh look at this you like that?

mine... aha, dont make me cuff the other 1

were moving travis... i know. no, look you idiot

Ashley, are you ok? the waters coming in, sh*t give me the key for the cuff ugh, it must have

fallen out find it now where is it... sh*t sh*t sh*t damn it

key for the damn cuff... i should go for help no. i cant see anything im sorry Ashley! hit the light

and keep looking

im scared... what are you doing? get over here Ashley. im gonna get some help get back here

what are you doing?

Ashley!

Travis!

Travis!

Travis!

theres something in the water help... anybody...

ashley Ashley!

travis... come on are you there?

Travis!

Travis! Travis!

Travis!

Ashley! oh my god oh my... help please, is anybody out there anybody...

im sorry i just... no its cool i dont mind hanging out oh no its not you, its just that... do you think

ashleys prettier than me? no most guys do yeah well i..ive never been into girl with big breasts

welcome back maddie

Dave. yoh man, what the f*ck you doing? the hole where the water comes out... oh god man

shes so wet...

hey shelby have you seen ashley or travis? neither one of them punched in this morning no, i

havent seen either of them

i dont know. just a sec you ok? i just feel a little weird here let me help you no im fine

you ok? look who has morning sickness nice work papa

nobody was inside shel im sure there fine probably just shaken up and scared there gonna get in

trouble comeon ash pick up hey... its ash leave a message sh*t call me is there anywhere else

they might have gone? no, umm im just gonna go

Ashleys my best friend i mean... i know shes kind of a sl*t she stole one of my ex boyfriends, and

im pretty sure she stole a pair of ear rings my grandmother gave me before she died but... we

were like sisters

what is that?

Oh my god we have to get off this thing right now. hurry come on Shelby.

quick comeon ive got you

quickly

lets go, were almost there

careful

no no no come back Shelby. come here come this way quick your going to have to jump

Come on you have to jump i cant jump from here quit it lets go

ive got you

what is this thing Maddie... what the f*ck is that?

oh sh*t

is that a f*cking Piranha? my father worked construction on carson dam they found fossils like

this when they first broke ground he gave me this on my 8th birthday im telling you man, it was

a Piranha howd it get from lake victoria to our lake? thats what weve got to find out

what? look at us the cop and the marine biologist im sorry, it just sounds like a shitty sitcom the

cop and the marine biologist

your still wet a little yeah

will you ask coony to open the door Kyle, open the door yoh man thats funny, d*ck

who are you? why are you here? im sorry, we saw you on youtube... you and 11 million 486 other

people i have 700 more hits than the laughing diarrhea baby we need your expertees mr

goodman

why? we think there back...

false lake isnt even connected to lake Victoria the piranha must be migrating through

underground lakes and rivers ive studied this specimen for almost a year

i think you might find this interesting can i get some help here ok this is galvanised steel like

ordinary household plumbing there we go aha, now for some incentive

no no no, not the frog sorry they sold out of puppys this morning

now, i think this is quite resourceful, watch

now its got something to grab

its a frog Barry, are you crazy? you almost lost a hand i had a pet frog once

uhh can you give me...? really?-now to check on some data what were you thinking?

these Piranha spent eons living in underground lakes full of sulphur dioxide from all the geo

thermal activity thats how they come back to spawn they followed the wrong lake somehow?

yes

problem is sulphur dioxide is probably released during the treatment of chlorinated water so its

conceivable that the fish could become confused and try to enter man made drainage systems

especially with an abundance of backyard pools our waterpark drains directly into false lake.

thats the equivalent of like a thousand swimming pools that would be a very bad thing did you

tell anyone that this could happen? i tried, unfortunately i lost some credibility after my last

book that foretold plague of dreadful walking fish oh thats right you wrote the fish walk among

us i love that book its really great why thank you kindred spirit

thanks Barry. you ah... you read a marine biology book? i wanted to see what you were so

interested in

look guys, we have to check the drains and the outflow pipe into the lake tonight i can get a

dive team up here from tempy by tomorrow no its too late, the waterpark opens tomorrow, that

place is going to be packed if the fish are gettign through the drain system that would make

lake victoria look like an appetizer guys weve got to get out there right now thankyou so much

for your help mr Goodman. oh thank you thank you sir, an honour be well, alright

aha... 11 million 888 hits take that laughing diarrhea baby

2 local teens, ashley sorby and travis mitchell were reported missing this morning after there van

was pulled out of cross lake thanks for letting me stay here its totally cool how you feeling? a

little better you dont seem any better hey what is it? just the stress of the whole ashley thing

make love to me please... right now? please josh i think something is really wrong with me if i

dont get better, i dont want to die a virgin

please josh, i want it to be with you

c*m inside me c*m inside me, ill do whatever you say after that

the outflow pipe leads directly to the waterpark, ive got to check them out you considered how

bat sh*t crazy this is right? i got to take a look, ill be quick umm, look, about what i was trying to

say last night... are you coming in? cos i could really use a spotter i mean... if your... its ok no no

no, im not scared its just umm, cant swim you work at a waterpark and you cant swim? ding

ding. what about all the beach partys in high school the partys at the park... never? oh my god

barry, i totally would have taught you how to swim yeah i know, you seemed kind of busy at the

time not a big deal. toss me that flashlight

yes i know thats what i said alright ill find you

are you sure you want to do this?... no

you uhh..you let her go in there alone? f*ck off Kyle! oh yes... Barry cant swim

Maddie... Maddie!

swim Maddie

get out of the way, get back

are you ok? i think so

dont worry, i wont break

im sorry. its ok, its ok its good, go on oh god shelby, look at me

somethings wrong no somethings wrong almost there

what the f*ck is on my d*ck... ohh... oh my god

Josh!

im feeling a little better now Josh, Josh.

Josh.

i think i had an accident

Josh.

josh what are you doing?

oh my god

Josh.

Josh.

Josh!

Josh!

what the hell did you do to me?

ohh... you almost going 70 back there buddy dont you have somewhere else better to be, like

boning my step daughter? ill get to that, first things first

your all good, for now oh your looking for a raise? with any luck, your little theme parks going to

take off and i wont have to live off a deputys salary forever so, we good here? yeah, did you

check those airflow pipes at the lake?

Maddie did. nearly got herself k*lled what about the grates... they still intact? should be good,

unless theres another way into the park? like that bootleg well you drilled dont you worry about

that i do worry ched im the one protecting your unlaweful a*s let me tell you something. why

dont you worry about keeping maddie and johny law off my a*s alright ill take care of my

waterpark have a nice night deputy you too ched ohh by the way... what in the hells this? i told

you, you were speeding are you shittin me? just doing my job weird crooked cop

what a night huh... do umm... you and kyle, you guys getting back together or... no definetly not

i dont think so, probably not you showed real decisiveness on that one, you know that right? i

kinda did, didnt i

Josh cut off his p*nis because somethig came out of my vag*na

should be coming to shortly, so the nurse is going to take you guys back there you guys can

probably go. josh is still sedated and im going to stick around to get a statement ill let you guys

know if i find anything out ok hows shelby? shes not making a whole lot of sense right now but

ill keep an eye on her too how about you? you alright? im pretty tired. get some rest and ill call

you

aww that is so sad come to bed hoffy, its nappy time

im rochelle im dawn right

yeah lets party

welcome to Rock Bottom.

wait

i dont know if i can do this all you got to do is baby steps just little baby steps what the hell you

talking about baby steps for? incase you havent noticed, fish ate my damn legs i hate the water, i

hate it remember what dr smith said, this is all about our road to recovery well start out with a

harmeless little kiddy pool

- whats the worst that can happen? couple of kids wizzin thats all kids wizzin? i can handle that

im not afraid of some punk a*s water im not afraid of some punk a*s water

i cant dont worry about it, we'll figure out somethig else no its weak, dump me in the water

what? you heard what i said... get behind the chair, grab the handles, and dump my sorry a*s in

the water the way parents toss their kids into the pool when they want them to swim isnt a bad

idea. ok i can do this

1... 2... stop ok right what happened? whyd you stop? you said to stop... no dont listen to my

p*ssy a*s mouth no matter what i say, dump me in the water ok got it. not going to listen to

your p*ssy a*s mouth i mean, you dont have a p*ssy a*s mouth, im just saying... dump me in the

water ok here we go, 1... 2...3 aww sh*t no no, i changed my mind no no no, your going in. i

changed my mind, i dont want to go in the water your going in. no i dont want to go in your

going in hey, leave him alone. no he wants to go in no the hell i do, i dont want to go in whats

wrong with you? dont push that poor legless stump into the pool whats wrong with you? dont

push that poor legless stump into the pool yeah thast right, dont dump this poor legless stump

in the pool ok you know what... your going to go into the water no i dont want to go

not cool man. im not afraid of some punk a*s water not cool at all

ladys and gentlemen, boys and girls hot moms of all ages. welcome to the big wet

and now, the moment youve all been waiting for they most famous lifeguard of all time who

wants to party with the hoff? welcome David Hasselhoff.

there he is david hasselhoff ladies ladies, if you play your cards right you might get some private

mouth to mouth resuscitation alright, without any further adieu lets all get wet... and... wild

i knew it what are you doing back here maddie? i saw this when i was taking inventory but didnt

think to ask why it was here ...untill now we pump our own water now, f*ck the utilities right...

you cant fill this waterpark off a well its not a standard well we drilled down a whole lot further,

hit an underwater lake we got enough water to last us till kingdom come you have no idea what

youve done oh sure i do i got us a nice fat profit you dont understand... you could be pumping

piranha straight through the intake pipes Maddy, h�m nay l� ng�y khai truong. maddie its

opening day, i have shelled out 100 thousand dollars and you want me to close shop because

there might be piranha in the pipe? what else? ghosts... boogeyman... sharks... snakes your

laughable, laughable come on kid youve been watching too many movies little girl. you should

read romance novels

are we done? i got work to do

mommy i got bit let me see oh honey you just scraped yourself on something, go tell a lifeguard

hell get you a bandaid no mom it was a piranha it was not piranha there are too many people

talking about piranh, now scoot

hello... hello hey hey i got bit y a piranha whats your name kid? David.

David. thats pretty cool, that my name too David. what... whats this? its an autograph can i just

have a bandaid? wait a minute, you dont know who i am?... no you never saw baywatch? running

in slow motion... how about night rider? the talking car... anaconda 3, jekyll and hyde on

broadway mr Hasselhoff. hey back off toro im talking to my main man here huh you really have

no idea who i am? yeah... your a lifeguard and i need a bandaid can i get a bandaid for my main

man david here please spongebob... im just going to get a bandaid somewhere else

im a lifeguard

i saw a fish in the splash pool, i know this is crazy but it was a piranha like the ones on the news i

swear to god hey... everyone out of the pool you have to get them out of the pool right now

hey... no running

game over ched, we gotta shut the waterfront down right now what part of no f*cking way dont

you hear? a woman saw a piranha in the splash pool did you see it? did you see it... no but...

youve got nothing thats what but im evacuating this waterfront weather you like it or not

Maddie maddie maddie cheds right, your just going to cause more panic im sorry... whos side

are you on? im on the side of being calm, now lets just go check things out ok you dont believe

me, im the one who called you, and you dont f*cking believe me come on kids get out of the

pool, please get out of the water i cant... i cant let you do that let go of me... what the f*ck you

doing? let her go what you going to do shark boy, huh? pump me with your f*cking trident im

going to give you a little piece of advice buddy, your going to need a bigger one

come on, go can you believe it? there back. they find you, they always find you no matter where

you go

bring me my legs

titanium mother f*ck eat this

i hate the water, i hate the fish help me, help

hey people are dying, your a lifeguard, do something im not a lifeguard, never was one help me

help me lifeguard... theres still kids going down slides. once these idiots get out of the water its

not as if the fish are going to follow them home help me

you went back in the water... you little ginger mong. mitch, your a lifeguard mitch

holy f*ck im getting old

i made a rescue i actually made a rescue can you put me down now...

Ched Ched you see them, do you seem them now?

we got to drain the pools

Barry, Barry. i need you to go to the pump house and force drain the pool its easy, your leavers

are down, you push them straight up ok ok got it i want you to know whatever happens, ive

loved you since 7th grade i always will i thought you were g*y?

i gotta get out of here, its not my fault what the f*ck... get off me

hey no come over here please man look at my a*s holy sh*t whatever it is, just get it out ok this is

gonna hurt alright, you ready? 1... 2... ahh f*ck comeon we got to get to the pump

sorry kid its not my fault

ok listen to me, i need you to get all the first aid supplies and bring them outside you got it?...

go i need first aid f*ck

Maddie

come here, help me i didnt know, i promise you i didnt know what are you talking about? the

well ched promised me 35 % of the profits if i turned a blind eye. just help me, get me out of

here i didnt know that... kyle please please just help me help me

i cant do this no no no dont... please help me wheres maddie? shes gone, i couldnt save her

Maddie

be a man kyle, be a man be a man kyle

this was a bad idea

Barry.

save her life kyle save her life being a hero i got you, oh my god get out of the pool

Maddie Maddie Maddie

nobody munches on daves a*s b*tch adios bastardos

how the hell did you buy that shotgun leg? with the money i saved on socks

hello... maddie your not going to believe this i was right there elvolving, there learning to walk

yeah, i know

David!

David, get away from that thing mom its ok, there slow on land

oh my god, somebody little... ginger... moron