01x22 - The Pizza Parlor

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Cyberchase". Aired: January 21, 2002 –; present.*
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Matt and his group of friends use gadgets and follow clues to mysteries and any other problem that comes their way.
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01x22 - The Pizza Parlor

Post by bunniefuu »

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Okay, there's this really
bad dude named hacker --

Hacker: the hacker, to you!

Whatever.
He wants to take over

The cyberworld
from motherboard.

[ Gasp ]
the three kids
are sucked into cyberspace,

And they use brain power
to help save everybody.

Jackie:
okay, here's the plan.

So they travel
all over and run into all these

Weird creatures...and have all
of these awesome adventures.

It's totally up to them
to save cyberspace.

Can three cool kids and a wacky
bird outsmart the hacker?

Hacker: never!
Matt: there's only one way
to find out!

Tune in
to "cyberchase"!

♪ Cyberchase!

♪ We're movin' we're beatin'
hacker at his game

♪ Don't tell me that
he's trying to hack

♪ The motherboard
we'll get him every time

♪ Cosmic worlds, freaky
places that we've seen

♪ We got the power
of one two three four!

♪ Runnin' in a cyberchase

♪ We'll meet him face
to face

♪ We'll stick together,
all the time!

♪ Adventures in cyberspace

♪ The chase is on! Just wait
and c-y-b-e-r- chase!

[Spider]
oh, okay, everyone,
pick up the pace a little,

It's getting close
to show time,

And don't forget
the king's throne.

So much to do, and so little
time to do it. I...

[Pig]
leg coming through, watch it!

[Pig]
hey, careful!

[Pig]
what?

Now look what you've done!

[Pig]
sorry.

What's with you?

We'll never finish the platform
this way!

[Pigs]
yiikes!

[Wolf]
oh baby I love porkchops,
mmm ya!

[Pig]
you don't scare me, wolfie!

[Jackie]
the guests of honor have
arrived!

[Inez]
how you doin', pigs?

[Matt]
what's up?

[Wolf]
I'll deal with you later!

[Matt]
you guys having a problem?

[Pig]
wolfie's just a big bully,
that's all.

[Wolf]
oh mama, that's part of
my charm!

Where's that klutsy feathered
friend of yours?!

[Digit]
somebody lookin' for me?

[Spider]
digit! Kids! Welcome back.

Oh, I'm so glad motherboard
got you here in time

For the celebration.

[Inez]
um, what exactly
are we celebrating?

Motherboard didn't say.

[Spider]
look...look up.

[Jackie]
whoa...that is totally awesome!

[Spider]
it's our brand new, you-can't
get-in-here sky-wall!

It was specially designed

To keep hacker
out of happily-ever-after!

[Digit]
now there's an idea worth
celebrating!

[Hacker]
so this is the tape
of wicked singing?

[Shadowy]
that's the song.

Excellent!

[Shadowy]
when do I get my part
of the deal?

[Hacker]
when I get into
happily-ever-after!

[Hacker]
is my model
of the sky-wall ready?

[Buzz]
all done, boss! Here you go...

[Delete]
cute toy, huh boss?

[Hacker]
this is not a toy! It's
the solution to our problem!

Sing, wicked, sing!

[Buzz]
you think her voice
will break it boss?

[Hacker]
that's the plan,
you cellinoid simpleton!

The model responds to sound
just like the real sky-wall

And when wicked hits just
the right note,

It'll shatter
into a thousand pieces!

Build me another one.

[Spider]
that's where wicked will sing
her big song.

[Wicked]
yoohoo, fuzzy legs! Have you
seen my lucky hat?

I can't find it anywhere.

And you know I can't sing
without my hat, pussycat.

[Spider]
um, you're hat, i?

[Wicked]
the pointy thing
I put on my head, sticky feet!

Where is it?!

[Matt]
you mean this?

[Wicked]
where'd you get that?!

[Inez]
at least you could say
'thank you', wicked.

[Wicked]
that's broomhilda to you,
tootsie!

[Spider]
whew! It's not easy being
a stage manager.

[Chicken little]
the dam is leaking,
the dam is leaking,

The dam is leaking,
the dam is leaking!

[Inez]
that's not good,
that's not good at all!

[Spider]
oh, don't worry. Chicken little
is such an alarmist.

[Matt]
then how come my shoes are wet?

[Inez]
chicken little was right!

[Spider]
do something!
The-the show must go on!

[Town crier]
hear ye, hear ye! The dam is
leaking and all is wet!

[King]
I must say, spidey,
this is terribly exciting.

A leak in the dam, what drama!
I love it.

You've gotten the celebration
off to a rousing start.

[Spider]
but uh, your majesty, this
isn't part of the celebration.

[King]
it's not? Egads!

Then do something before my
entire kingdom is flooded!

Back to the palace, goosey!

[Matt]
c'mon, guys,
we've got to work fast!

We've got find something
to plug the hole.

[Spider]
well...maybe we can fill
it with mud.

Hey that worked!

Then again, maybe not.

[Jackie]
let's stuff one of these
sandbags in the hole!

It looks about the same size.

[Inez]
way to go, jax! A perfect fit!

[Jackie]
oh, man, that sure came out
in a hurry.

[Matt]
I think there's something weird
about that hole?

[Inez]
maybe, but who can tell

With all that water
squirting out?!

[Digit]
sounds like a job
for the didge!

Be back in a splash!

[Digit]
I think I found the problem!

The hole's bigger on the inside
of the dam

Than on the outside.

[Spider]
bigger on the inside than
the outside?

What kind of hole is that?

[Digit]
allow me to demonstrate.

See?

[Matt]
let me see that, didge,

Looks like you made a model
the shape of the hole.

Hey! The hole's bigger on one
end than the other!

[Jackie]
that's why the sandbag
didn't stick!

There's so much more room on
the inside of the hole

That it just popped out!

[Inez]
so we need a plug the same
shape as the hole -

Larger on one end than
the other.

[Spider]
I have uh another idea.
Come on,

And bring digit's model
of the hole.

[Digit]
what we have here
is a molded candle.

Big and fat at this end

And beautifully tapered to a
much smaller size at this end.

Just like the hole in the dam.

[Matt]
c'mon, didge, plug it in!

[Digit]
alright, alright, I'm plugging!

[Inez]
it worked!

[Jackie]
the water stopped!

[Matt]
the model showed us
how to fix the damn.

[Spider]
on with the show!

[Hacker]
sing to me, witchie!

[Delete]
what'cha doin' now, boss?

[Hacker]
I want a sneak preview
of my plan in action.

If I speed up wicked's voice
just right,

Her high note should
shatter the sky-wall

To smithereens!

Watch this, boys...

[Delete]
woah.

[Delete]
yeowwwwww, umph.

[Hacker]
I want to play
with my sky-wall!

[Inez]
I can't wait to hear her sing.

[Spider]
quiet, everyone.
We have rehearsal!

Cue the music.

[Jackie]
for a witch
she sounds pretty cool.

[Spider]
oh my goodness! Wicked!

[Town crier]
hear ye, hear ye!

The platform collapsed and
the wicked witch is not happy!

Oh, boy!

[Wicked]
this is an outrage!

You can't treat a star
like this!

Get my agent on the phone!

[Spider]
oh, oh dear, oh, oh my, are you
all right, miss wicked?

[Wicked]
am I alright?! Look at me!

Well get yourself another
songbird. I quit!

[Spider]
it'll be showtime in no time!
Okay, what am I going to do?!

[Inez]
take a deep breath, spider.

Just calm down, we'll help you.

[Jackie]
this platform is a mess!

[Matt]
it sure wasn't built to last.

[Jackie]
funny how the legs all seem
to just fall over.

[Pig]
we tried to build it good
and strong.

[Pig]
oh, well, guess we'll have
to cancel the show.

[Spider]
no! We, we can't cancel
the show!

You know... That's impossible!

[Pig]
spider's right!

There's still time to rebuild
the platform! We have to!

[Hacker]
wicked must sing or my plan
is ruined!

Who keeps sabotaging
the celebration?

[Shadowy]
I don't know but those kids
keep making things right.

They fixed the dam

And now they're tying
to fix the platform.

I love it!
The kids are working for me

And they don't even know it!
Ha-ha-ha!

Hurry up, will you, it's heavy!

[Matt]
hang on, didge, we're just
trying to get the legs back up.

[Jackie]
why bother?! It's just going
to fall down again,

Unless we can figure out why it
collapsed in the first place.

[Inez]
you know what, jackie? If you
have a better way try it!

In the meantime - there!

[Matt]
test it out, didge!

[Digit]
wu-oh! We got a lotta wobble
here!

[Pig]
I don't understand.
Four corners, four legs,

What's wrong with that?

[Matt]
maybe that big costume
made wicked too heavy

For the platform.

I know, more legs!
We need more legs!

[Pig]
we've got more legs backstage!
Let's get 'em!

[Digit]
bring a lotta legs!

[Jackie]
but the legs didn't break,

They just kinda leaned over
sideways

And the whole thing fell down.

[Inez]
so?

[Jackie]
so maybe it's the way
the platform was built

That's the problem,
not how many legs there are.

I'm going to build a model of
the platform and find out.

[Matt]
but there's no time to make
a model!

[Jackie]
not a wooden model,
an idea model!

A drawing of the platform
that shows

How all the parts fit together.

[Matt]
whatever!

[Hacker]
now don't mess it up again!

[Delete]
but boss,
you're the one that...

[Hacker]
...zip it.

And now for a little
demonstration.

Sing witchy sing...

Yes, yes yeeesssss.

Oh yes, the show must go on.

[Matt]
looking good, guys!

[Jackie]
okay, this model's gotta
be simple

So I can understand
what happened.

I just need to include
the important parts

Of the platform.

Let's see top is flat,
like a rectangle.

And it has four solid legs.

Can't get any simpler
than this.

Whoa...
Just like the real thing.

The legs didn't break,
they just collapsed.

And there's nothing
in the design

To stop the legs
from doing that.

[Inez]
okay, guys, that's cool!

Six legs have
to be stronger than four!

[Matt]
I'll check it out this time!

[Matt]
so far so good.

[Pig]
more legs! We need more legs!

[Jackie]
so...what could I change to
keep the legs straight up?

Hmmm, maybe something to hold
the leg steady,

Like a brace.
That's it, a brace!

If I add a line here...
It makes a triangle. Cool!

Now let's see what happens when
I wiggle the model.

Hmmm...if one triangle
can do that -

What happens if I use triangles
to brace all the legs?!

[Inez]
okay, guys, platform check!

[Inez]
oh, man, this platform's still
moving all over the place!

[Jackie]
I've got it! It's not how many
legs we use

It's how we brace them.
Look at my squak-pad model.

See? The triangle braces keep
the legs straight up and down.

[Matt]
I think you're onto something,
jax.

[Inez]
I know! Why don't we combine
your idea and our idea,

And put triangle braces
on all the legs?

[Pigs]
♪ ring-around-the rosey,
a pocket full of posies,

Ashes...ashes...
We all fall down! ♪

[Matt]
cool! That platform's
not goin' anywhere.

Those triangles make it solid
as a rock!

[Jackie]
just like my idea model showed
us it was!

Simple, with just
the right parts.

[Inez]
good job, guys!

[Spider]
okay, okay pigs, that's a wrap.

Thank you, you saved the show!
That's all!

You know, the curtain can go up
as scheduled!

Oh and that's in five minutes!

[Shadowy]
the platform's fixed!

[Hacker]
excellent!

[Shadowy]
when do I get what you
promised?

[Hacker]
when the witch sings,
and the sky-wall falls!

Now listen closely...

[Spider]
uh, okay, folks, it's uh uh
it's show time!

Dragon, you're on!

[Jackie]
I guess we better
take our seats.

[Digit]
wu-oh! Trouble

[Spider]
now, now humpty, i...i know
singing is not your thing,

But you know miss wicked
said...

[Wicked]
move it, dumpster! The only
star being born today is me!

Straighten my hat, sweetie,
the golden voice is back!

[Spider]
the lights! Who turned out
the lights?

[Wicked]
my hat! Someone stole
my lucky hat!

I can't possibly go on!

[Spider]
but... But miss wicked,
you're on next.

[Wicked]
the only one on next is you,
fuzzy legs!

[Spider]
uh, may I uh...may I have your
attention, you know please,

I uh. There's been a slight
change in the program.

Miss wicked's solo uh, has been
uh...temporarily delayed.

[Wolf]
oh, no way eight legs!
We want the witch!

[Crowd]
we want wicked! We want wicked!

[Pig]
wicked just has to go on!

[Pig]
no, she doesn't! Wait!

[King]
spidey? Over here, please?

I daresay, you've bungled
the big moment.

Now get this show on the road
or it's back

To little miss muffet for you!
Right, goosey?

[Spider]
yes, sir, your highness, right
away, sir. Consider it done.

You know! I hope.

[Spider]
cat! You're on!

Wow! The cat's good!

C'mon, boss, clap!

[Hacker]
I'm not interested in that
cat and his fiddle,

Where's wicked?!

[Matt]
nope. Everything
but wicked's hat!

[Spider]
cat, cat! Play another set!
Please!

[Cat]
no way dude, union break.

[Spider]
oh, great, what do I do now?

[Digit]
ach-ach-hem.

Perhaps I can be of assistance.

[Jackie]
let's see, let's see...
Let me think.

If I were wicked's hat,
where would I hide?

[Inez]
that's it! We've got to think
like a hat!

[Pig]
frankly, I have enough trouble
thinking like a pig.

[Pig]
we'll help you look. Okay?

[Pig]
if you ask me,
it's a waste of time.

[Matt]
maybe pig one is right! Maybe
we've been wasting our time

Looking for a place to hide
a hat,

When we should be looking
for a place to hide a shape!

[Pigs]
huh???

[Matt]
look.

Say this is wicked's hat.

Well, okay, a model of it, with
only the parts that matter.

What shape is it?

[Inez]
a cone!

[Jackie]
let me see that for a sec.
Whoops!

[Jackie]
hey, check this out. This way
it's a hat...

...but this way
it's a container!

[Matt]
yeah! So instead of looking for
something the hat is inside of,

Let's look for something inside
the hat!

[Digit]
what do you call a boomerang
that doesn't come back?

A stick!

What did the snail say when
he got on the turtle's back.

Weeee! Get it?

[Hacker]
what is that supercilious
cyber-turkey

Doing telling jokes!
Where's wicked?!!

[Inez]
excuse me, one. Could you move
a little

So I can look in there?

[Pig]
i...i already looked.
There's no hat in there.

Nothing. Just props.

[Inez]
well, let me just double-check.

[Inez]
it's like a cone shaped
container. That's wicked's hat!

[Pig]
gee, I must've missed it.

[Inez]
I found wicked's hat!

It was filled with a bunch
of props!

[Digit]
knock, knock!

Who's there?

[Digit]
boo.

Boo who?

[Digit]
aw, don't cry, kingy.

[Spider]
psssst...digit! Wicked's ready!

[Digit]
alright, alright, listen up
ladies and germs...er,

Gentlemen. Here's the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Let's give it up for
the wicked witch!

[Digit]
phew! That was the worst moment
of my life.

I'm through with show biz!

[Pig]
you have to stop wicked
from singing!

[Spider]
what i...i can't do that!

Well you don't understand!
When wicked hits her big note,

The sky-wall is going
to shatter!

What????!

(Singing)

[Wicked]
stop! What are you doing?!
You can't do this!

You've ruined my career!!!

[Spider]
start the fireworks!
Start the fireworks!

[Audience]
ooohs, ahhhhhs.

[Buzz]
oooh, looka that one, boss,
a pinwheel!

Wow, a roman candle! Ooooh!

Fireworks, what happened
to wicked?

What happened to my plan?

[Spider]
so you're the one who tried
to stop the celebration!

I was only trying to help.

Pig two made a deal
with hacker!

[Jackie]
is that true?

[Pig]
I did a bad thing.

[Pig]
how could you?!

[Pig]
I did it for us, three.

I couldn't stand it anymore!

Every time we built a house,
the big bad wolf blew it down!

He was just making our lives
miserable!

And hacker promised to protect
us from the wolf

If I helped him break
the sky-wall.

[Matt]
I see why you did it, two,

But don't you remember what
happened last time

Hacker came
to happily-ever-after?

[Inez]
and even if hacker protected
you from the wolf,

Who would have protected
you from hacker?

[Pig]
gee, I'm really sorry. I didn't
think things through very well.

I...i only thought about us,
not everyone else here

In happily-ever-after.

[King]
once again, you have saved

Happily-ever-after from
the hacker.

[Inez]
we're just glad we could help,
your majesty.

[Matt]
yeah, even though we were
helping hacker

When we thought
we were helping you.

[King]
ah, a minor detail. Even kings
make mistakes, or so I'm told.

By the way, digit, do you know
anymore 'knock-knock' jokes?

[Digit]
why kingy, I never thought
you'd ask. Knock-knock.

[King]
who's there?

[Digit]
ach.

[King]
ach-who!

[Digit]
gezundite!

[Jackie]
oh, man...

[Hacker]
hear ye, hear ye,

The celebration's over
and all's well...

...but then, you never know.

His royal shortness has not
seen the last of the hacker.

I'll be back!
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