01x10 - Weaning Tommy/Incident in Aisle Seven

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

[ Giggling]

Oh, stu, I don't know
why you're so worried.

All children have
to go eventually.

Didi, he only has one tooth.

As soon
as the first teeth appear

It's time to take the baby
to the you know where.

I can't believe

You want to take him
to the dentist.

Shh. Don't say dentist.

You'll scare him.

Come on. He doesn't know
what a... You know is.

Say tooth fairy.
It sounds nicer.

That's who
leaves quarters

Under your pillow.

Those other guys use drills.

I don't want to think about it.

Just because you're afraid
of the tooth fairy

Doesn't mean tommy will be.

Afraid? I'm not afraid
of tooth fairies

Or their drills...

Or their gleaming
metal instruments.

Now, let's see.

I've got diapers, wipeys,
books, blankets, a cap

A change of clothes,
band-aids

And two extra bottles
of juice.

Time to go and see the den...

To see
the tooth fairy.

Open.

Open.

What's the matter,
sweetie?

The dent...

Uh, the tooth fairy
isn't going to hurt you.

No, no. He just wants
to take a little peek

Inside your mouth.

Come on, honey.
Just a little.

[ Gasps]

Dolly says, "open."

Tommy, please.

Be a good helper
and open your mouth.

For daddy?

Be a good helper.

Open the gate

For the truck to come through.

Open your mouth

For mr. Snuggle bunny.

I'll give you this nice
sugar free sucker

If you open.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Ahh.

Yes, I see.

You'll have
to clean it carefully

Or be prepared to face
serious consequences.

Thank you, dr. Homer.

Uh, open your mouth.

What?

Open your mouth!

How long have you had
that cross bite?

Cross bite?

Hmm. Weaned too late as a child.

I'll have to give you
the name of a specialist.

A year or two of braces
will fix it right up.

Braces?

Oh, he's not still
on the bottle, is he?

Now that he's got a tooth,
it's time to wean him.

You mean...
Take him off the bottle?

But he's barely a year old.

This boy...

His parents
didn't think

It was important
to wean him.

This child...

Well, you get my point.

Oh, here.

Have a balloon.

Dr. Homer
knows about teeth.

Teeth are his life.

But tommy
loves his bottle.

We can't just
take it away.

Stu, if we don't take
care of this

Tommy might have
to wear braces someday.

Braces. Oh, yeah.

The kids will call him

Metal mouth
or tin grin or...

Silver sidewalk stu.

Tomorrow morning,
first thing.

First thing.

See, tommy?

You drink out of here.

This little spout
is where the milk comes from.

[ Cooing]

Oh, please try your cup,
sweetie pie.

You have to get
used to it.

Hmm...

Ohh...

[ Telephone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi, betty.
Yeah, we're fine.

But this thing
with tommy and the tooth fairy

Is getting to me.

Ooh...

I am so glad
to hear that.

It's so hard.

He's being
very difficult.

Under my toys.

[ Grunting]

The sofa?

Talk to you later.

Bye-bye.

Oh, here's one I missed.

Tommy:phil?
Lil?

I need a drink.

Where's your bottle?

When I woke up this morning,
it was gone.

Gee, that's too bad.

Yeah. Sorry, tommy.

I wish we could help.

I don't get it.

How come you guys
can have bottles

And I can't?

I don't know.

How come angelica gets
to go to day care all day

And we don't?

They took my bottle away

And gave me this dumb cup
with a happy face on it.

Did you do
anything bad?

I don't think so.

They took me
to this guy

Who put his fingers
in my mouth.

Did you bite him?

Nope.

Weaning?
At one year old?

That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.

My pediatrician doesn't
even want me to wean

Until the twins are two.

I know,
but the dentist said...

Did you look
at his dental school diploma?

The guy's probably a quack.

Um, do you want
to share?

We're not supposed to.

Oh.

A little sip?

Huh-uh.huh-uh.

I'll give you
something.

What?

My stacking cups.

You're missing
some of them.

My snowmanbook?

I read it.

My ride-on tractor?

Hmm...hmm...

No. We're supposed
to get one

For our birthday.

Oh.

Hey, look over there.

It's a big hairy monster
with red eyes!

Where?!where?!

No, no, no.

Honey, I'm sorry,
but dr. Homer says

You're too big
for bottles now.

No, no, no.

You're too big
for bottles now.

No more bottle,
but how about a balloon?

Sorry, tommy.

Yeah. Sorry.

Wish we could help.

Cross bite?

Didi:
no, honey.

I'm sorry, but dr. Homer says
you're too big for bottles...

Too big for bottles...

Too big for bottles...
Too big for bottles...

Too big for bottles.

Ooh.

Bottle!

Bottle!

Here I am,
tommy.

Down here.

Bottle.

Sorry, tommy

But you're
way too big for me.

Hey!

Hey, tommy!

Bottle?

Tommy, it's time to use me now.

[ Screaming]

Drink me.

No!

Drink me!

No! I want my bottle!

Did someone say bottle?

Drink me!

Go away.

[ Yelling]

He won't bother you
anymore, tommy.

What will I drink out of now?

I'm too big for bottles.

I'm a big people's
bottle, tommy.

You're just
the right size for me.

Tommy, tommy, tommy...

Tommy? Tommy?

Tommy?

Did you have a nice nap?

Aw, just give him
a bottle.

My brother sparky
drank from a bottle

For years

And he's got a bite
like a bear trap.

[ Gasps]

Didi:
oh...

I'm sorry, honey

But we just can't
give you a bottle.

You'll get used
to the cup.

We promise.

This is terrible.

I feel so rotten.

I know, but we agreed.

Right.
He has to get used to this.

We have to wean him.

Oh. Hi, pop.

Uh... Just looking
for my tv guide.

I was just, uh...

Hey, what are you
doing here, didi?

Well, I was just, uh...
Wait a minute.

What are you doing here?

Shh.

Aw... He's sleeping.

We'll give him
his bottle back tomorrow.

And there he is, bob--

Pounds

Of prime striped sea bass.

Never did catch him neither.

Hey, scout

You're blocking
the view.

Okay. You win.

Hmm.

Humph! Gone already.

[ Gasps]

♪ They're round, they're mean

Reptar.

♪ They turn milk green

Reptar.

♪ You open his mouth
and poor them out ♪

♪ Reptar cereal,
it makes you want to shout ♪

♪ Reptar!

♪ We want reptar!

♪ Reptar.

Okay, champ.

Time to go
to the supermarket.

Reptar, the cereal with scales.

Part of this complete breakfast.

Reptar!

Yep, rip-roar.

We're going shopping.

Didi, I think tommy's going
to start saying real words soon.

Reptar.

Yes, tommy. Riffraff.

Stu, here's the list.

And here
are the coupons

And here's
your calculator.

And don't forget
the fudgy ding-a-ling bars.

We're all out.

Pop, that's the fifth box

You've gone through this week.

Oh, go ahead.

Deny me
my fudgy ding-a-ling bars

The one real pleasure left to me
in my twilight years.

Pop, why don't you do

The shopping?

Fine by me.

Come on, scout.

Let's go get us
some supplies.

And don't forget
the calculator, pop.

I don't need one of them
newfangled adding machines.

I'm just getting
ding-a-ling bars.

You're also getting
a week's worth of groceries.

I can't use one
of those conflab things.

It's time to join
the th century.

See, you activate
the fracto-cursor here

Then perambulate your sum
times the vector factor

Correlate the decimal point
minus the costs.

Uh, uh...

Pop,
you'll figure it out.

In my day

We did our counting
on our fingers.

And for really big numbers,
we'd use our toes as well.

I hope
they come back

With something

Besides boxes
of fudgy ding-a-ling bars.

Ihope they come back.

Looky there, tommy.

Beautifulgal at : .

Now, scout, just let me
do the talking.

Top of the morning to you.

Reptar.

What an adorable child.

Why, thank you.

He has your eyes,
I think.

Yep. Also my ears.
Reptar.

Oh, your son speaks
such cute baby talk.

My grandson, actually.

You, a grandfather?

I don't believe it.

Amazing, isn't it?
Reptar?

Oh!

Well, bye-bye,
handsome.

Bye.

Oh, say bye-bye, tommy.

Reptar!

You and me are going to do
allthe shopping

From now on, scout.

[ Laughing]

"Corrugated
bran puffs."

Sounds tasty.

Yecch!

[ Gasps]

Reptar.

Ooh!

Oh...

Reptar!

Now, come on.

Well, that's everything
on theirlist.

And now for the coup de gracie.

[ Rumbling]

Conflab it!

Perfect.

And now
I'll just add it all up

On this dag-nabbed
adding contraption.

Supposing I can figure out
how to fire it up.

Ah, there.

At least it's turned on.

All righty.

$ . Times boxes equals...

$ , . ?

No, no, no, that can't be.

Let's try again.

Twenty-five

Times ...

Carry the three.

Rep...

[ Grunts]

Girl:
hi. Where's
your grandpa?

He'll be all right.

Hey, you seen reptar?

Yeah. He's over, um...

Um...

[ Grunts]

[ Laughing]

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Oh, man,
what a totally bogus job.

I told steve we should have
stayed at the octoplex.

Mmm.

Girl:
hi.
What you doing down there?

Still looking for reptar.

Oh. He's over there.

Aah!

[ Rumbling]

Whoa!

Melon stampede!

[ Gasps]

Now, that's ,
and carry the dollar...

Cleanup on aisle one.

Uh, and aisle two...

Aisle four...

Aisle five...

Clean... Aisle... Aisle nine...

[ Gasps]

Cleanup on aisle three.

Reptar.

Cleanup!

Ugh!

[ Grunts]

Ooh.

Reptar.

[ Beeping]

Whoa!

[ Giggling]

And the grand total is...

$ . .

Ha! Can't b*at that
with a stick.

How did you get
down there, scout?

Well, never mind that.

Let's get this stuff paid for
so we can get home and eat it.

Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Just look at this place.

In my day, they kept
these markets clean.

[ Clicking]

We got your soup
and your nuts

And your apples
and your mallomars

And your...
Hey, what's this?

"They're round.

"They're mean.

They turn milk green."

[ Grandpa giggling]

What will
they think of next?

[ Ripping]

Well, I don't know
how they got here

But they sound
a lot better

Than corrugated
bran puffs.

Cleanup on aisle four.

Larry, steve, I need one of you.

Your turn, dude.

No way.

I cleaned up the sodas.

I mopped up the baby powder.

I had to pick up
the lobsters.

That was at least
an hour ago.

Forget you.
Forget you too.

Mmm.