03x17 - Mommy's Little Assets/Chuckie's Wonderful Life

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

Angelica:
a-n-x-g-f.

Look, I spelled my name.

How wonderful, dear.

Finish your milk.

I need the deal memo
retyped by hand, a.s.a.p.

Apparently, these people
don't trust computers.

Of course they'll sell.

Charlotte, have you seen
my green paisley tie?

...i've been waiting
for this for days.

They call that
a counter offer?

Daddy, how come
cousin tommy

Is staying with us
today?

And uncle stu
and aunt didi

Are taking
a little vacation.

How come?

They need to be

By themselves
for a while.

How come?

They don't want children
around

When they do
grown-up things.

How come?

I have no idea.

It's a mystery.

...take down the maplethorpe
and put up

That hideous
normal rockwell.

It's in the janitor's
closet.

Watch me
finish my milk.

[ Both:]
honey, could you take care
of that?

Okay, I got to run.

Bye, honey. Be good.

Bye-bye, tommy.

[ Both:]
I thought you...

I'm staging a takeover

Of famous ethel's
cookie company.

I'm bungee jumping
with the c.e.o.

Of cybersystems
international.

I can't take the kids.

I can take care
of the baby, mommy.

Of course you could,
sweetie

But we'd feel better
if you had

A grown-up around.

We're successful executives.

We can solve this.

What about betty and howard?

They took the twins
to a tractor pull.

They spoil them. Chaz?

He's at a therapist's
convention.

Chaz isn't a therapist.

He wants to find one.

Don't we know any sitters?

We have trouble
getting anyone

To come back
a second time.

All right, all right.

I'll take them
to work with me.

Are you sure?

They're good kids.

I'm an organized, ' s mom.

How hard could it be?

Mommy, do I get

To help you work?

Absolutely, darling.

You can be mommy's
assistant.

Why don't you

Carry my briefcase.

Tommy can't help.

He's just a baby.

Jonathan,
I'm in the garage.

I'll be there

In approximately seconds.

Does everyone have to do
everything you say?

Yes. I'm the boss.

Could you make them
wear gorilla suits?

Yes. Yes, jonathan.

And wear their underwear

On their heads?

Mommy has something to discuss.

And make them walk backwards?

Stand back!

You are too close
to the vehicle.

Hey, mommy, a talking car.

That's nice, sweetie.

What? Not you, jonathan.

I wouldn't call my employees
sweetie--

At least, not since
the clarence thomas hearings.

[ Alarms blaring]

I can't hear you.

Someone's car alarm
just went off.

It's a blue b.m.w.
On level two.

Have it towed.

[ Tommy crying]

What a good boy.

No more tears, now.

That's right. All smiles.

Charlotte:
fabulous.

[ Elevator bell dings]

[ Bell dings]

[ Bell dings]
[ bell dings]

[ Bell dings]
[ bell dings]

[ Bell dings]
[ bell dings]

[ Bell dings]

You said seconds.

I thought you'd
been abducted

By eco-t*rrorists again.

This is my nephew tommy.

Ah! You brought her?

I told you I'd be back.

Honey, give mommy's
briefcase to jonathan.

[ Gasps]

[ Bell dings]

Stop that elevator!

It better not be scuffed.

Is the presentation ready?

It took cups of coffee

And an all-nighter,
but it's done.

This is the model of the town
in its current condition...

And this is the town

After we transform it
into famous ethel's

Cookie world
entertainment park--

The cookiest place
on earth.

Excellent work,
jonathan.

Mommy, can I play
with the toy town?

This isn't a toy.

It's a model that mommy
needs for work.

Mommy will buy you
a toy town later.

But I want it now.

Ah!

Good morning, vesco.

Good morning, boesky.

Mommy, can't we play
with the toy town?

I told you, it's not a toy.

Let's run down the strategy
for this meeting.

The first order...

Mommy, when I grow up,
can I do this work?

As I was saying...

Of course you can.

Okay, once again.

Mommy, what doyou do?

Let me put it this way--

A corporation is like
a hungry monster.

My job is to find

Plenty of weaker monsters
to eat.

Neat! Does this monster
eat babies too?

No, of course not.

[ Yelling]

Stop!

Angelica, no!

Jonathan, find somewhere
to put the fish.

Deep healing breath.

Deep healing breath.

[ Nervous laugh]

Don't we have

An employee
day-care center?

You nixed it.

I'm un-nixing it.

How can a working mother get by?

Shall I reschedule the meeting?

I've been planning
this coup too long

To put it off now.

You'll be a good girl

For jonathan, won't you.

Can't I come with you?

If you're good, you can go
with daddy tomorrow.

Ciao, jonathan.

Jonathan, I would like
a glass of water.

Uh, sure. Okay.

You two just stay here.

I thought he'd never leave.

Shouldn't be we be

At the playground
or something?

Are you kidding?

The toy town is better
than any playground.

Let's make like a tree

And get out of here.

Are you sure
this is okay?

Of course.

My mommy's
the president.

Come on.

Did you want sparkling or..?

Uh-oh.

We got a small company.

A big executive like you

Probably don't
have the time

To coddle it like we do.

Let me assure you

My coddling credentials
are flawless.

I think our presentation
speaks for itself

And you want
your company to grow.

[ Whispering]

What!? If anything
happens to them, I'll...

Please excuse me.

Jonathan will
show you around

While I see
to a minor crisis.

I was telling them

What a caring,
personal company this is.

Um...

This is our fax machine.

Our company cover letter
is rather clever.

It says, "just the fax."

You know,
like the tv show.

"Just the facts, ma'am."

We think television
is evil.

There it is!

Let's play.

[ Both giggling]

I'll be the amazing
gigantic girl.

You be the townspeople.

What do I do?

You run and scream
while I try to stomp you.

[ High voice:]
nice night, sheriff bob.

[ Deeper voice:]
yes it is, nurse nancy.

Nice and quiet.
A little too quiet.

Wait a minute. What's that?

Oh, no! It's the amazing
gigantic girl!

[ Screaming]

[ Roaring]

Angelica?

Tommy?

[ Gasps]

The cookie world model--
of course.

There you are, tommy.

Where's angelica?

I couldn't stop him.

He was out of control.

Angelica, didn't
mommy tell you
this wasn't a toy?

I don't remember.

You wrecked an expensive model

Ruined an important
business deal

Disobeyed me,
and set a bad example for tommy.

If you were boss
and an employee

Behaved like this,
what would you do?

Are you going to fire me,
mommy?

No, of course not, angel.

You're my baby girl

But from now on,
when you want something

And I say no,
what will you do?

Ask daddy?

No, you'll be a good girl
and do as you're told, okay?

Well, it looks like
we picked a bad time

For business.

Why don't we get back

To you folks
with our decision.

But the presentation.

I think we've seen enough.

So, do you think
they're going

To accept your bid?

No, I don't think
they'll accept my bid.

Call and have

Security escort you
off the premises.

I don't understand.

You're fired!

Oh. Well,
that's pretty clear.

Spike knows how to fetch,
so you can learn.

Now, fetch.

Daddy!

Hello, princess.

Where's your mommy?

In the shower, washing away
the stench of failure.

Uh-oh.

Bad day, dear?

A living nightmare.

[ Doorbell rings]

Jonathan, what are you
doing here?

I'm sorry,
but famous ethel called

And insisted
that I bring her by.

I'm sorry about...

Sorry?

I tell you, abe and I

So impressed with your
maternal instincts

We decided to sell
to your company.

Why don't you
and your husband

Come out
and celebrate with us.

I'll get my coat.

Jonathan, you're not fired.

In fact, I'm giving you
a promotion.

Promotion? Vice-president?

It's the neatest thing

I ever sawed.

Yeah.

Let's go play
with it.

Wait!

I don't know

If this is such a good idea.

That's my daddy's favorite toy.

But look how shiny it is.

Now that you mention it,
it is kind of shiny.

Phil:
and look how silvery

It is.

Lil:
and look
how round it is.

Ohh...

I guess it's okay
if we're really careful.

All:
wow!

Hey, babies

Ready for a game
of pin the tail on the diaper?

Ah.

Hey, chuckie,
what you got there?

Uh, oh, nothing.

We were just playing

One of our silly
little baby games.

Hmmph...
Isn't that spike out there?

Spike?

No. Spike's at home, angelica.

It looks like him.

There's a guy
with a net chasing him.

Wait. Two guys.

No. They're monsters with nets.

Spike!

Lil:
hey, angelica

Spike's not
out there.

Must have been
some other dog.

[ Gasping]

It's gone!

What's gone?

My dad's favorite toy.

Hi, kids.
Having fun?

Hey!

What happened
to my latvian folk dance cd?

That was
my favorite disc.

It's got to be here somewhere.

Boy, your daddy
sure looks sad.

This is your fault!

I didn't want
to play with that toy

But you made me!

Now it's lost!

Chuckie...

I thought you
was my friends

And now you lost
my dad's toy.

That's the last time
I ever listen to you guys.

Come on, you guys. Let's go.

I don't think

Chuckie wants to play
with us right now.

Oh, no.

Now what am I going to do?

Say, chuckie

What's wrong?

Oh, angelica,
it's terrible.

I really messed
things up.

Why don't you tell me
all about it.

First I played
with my dad's favorite toy

Even though
I wasn't a-posed to

And I lost it.

Oh, that's awful.

My dad sawed it was gone,
and he got all upset.

Oh, no.

And then I blamed

Tommy, phil, and lil

Even though
it wasn't really their fault.

Now everyone's mad at me.

I know how you feel.

You do?

Sure.

There are two kinds

Of people in this world:

People who make things better--
people like me--

And people who just seem
to, well, get in the way--

People like you.

Isn't there anything
I can do?

Not really, chuckie.

The bottom line is

We'd all be a lot better off
without you.

[ Sighs]

Angelica's right.

Everyone would be
a lot better off without me.

Hey, I don't think
that's such a good idea.
Who said that?

Me.
[ Gasping]

Hi.

Ah!

Who are you?

I'm your guardian angel.

I was sent so you won't
do anything dumb.

Really?

Yeah.

Then where was you

The time I got
my tongue stuck

On that ice cube?

Or when I got my head

Caught in the back
of that chair?

Or when I trapped myself
in the bird cage?

Give me a break.

I'm only two, you know.

What I mean is

You can't just
run away from home.

Peoples need you.

Peoples need me?

Right.

The whole world would be
a lot better off

Without me.

Oh, yeah?

[ Coughing]

Hey, this looks
like my living room.

Only it's... It's different.

Where are we?

Well, it's kind
of complicated.

This is what
the world would be like

If you was never born.

Chuckie:
why is it so messy?

Without you around

Your dad doesn't see
any reason to clean up.

Chaz:
what do you want
to do now, socky?

[ In high voice:]
I don't know, chaz.

Who's my dad
talking to?

You may not like
what you're about to see.

We could just
watch c-span.

They're showing the house, ways,
and means committee today.

My dad is talking
to a sock.

Who else would he talk to?

You don't exist, remember?

I better go play

With him.

Ah!

Hey, my hand goes
right through him!

Of course.

How come?

I already told you, chuckie.

You do not exist.

People in this world
can't see you.

They can't hear you

And they definitely
can't play with you.

Oh.

I know, socky.

Let's start
that , -piece jigsaw puzzle.

I'm not very good
at jigsaw puzzles.

I don't have any hands.

Well, c-span, it is then.

Socky?

Yeah?

I wish you were real.

Me too.

I don't like this,
mr. Angel guy.

You ain't seen
nothing yet.

[ Gasping]

[ People screaming]

What's this?

Our wheels. Come on.

[ People shouting]

Chuckie:
where are we?

This is where
you live, chuckie--

Only without you.

Why are all the babies
causing so much trouble?

There's no one around

To tell them
it's not such a good idea.

Let's see how phil and lil
are doing without you.

Aw, stop!

Stop, you guys!

Hello!
Anybody home?!

They can't hear you,
remember?

Oh, yeah.

Lil:
aw, poop.

We're out of dishes.

Don't worry.

I know where
they keep the glass junk.

My home!

My beautiful home!

If only there
were one baby--

One mature, responsible,
somewhat cowardly baby

Who would set
a good example

And tell them
it's wrong.

Hi, guys.

Socky and I were
getting kind of lonely.

I hope you don't mind us

Stopping by.

He's getting worse.

What should we do,
chaz?

What should we do?

Consider yourself lucky.

I wish I had a kid--

Even a terrifyingly
destructive one.

But he doesn't.

He's all alone.

[ All sobbing]

This is bad, angel guy--

Real bad.

Come on!

We've still got

One more thing to see!

Tommy's house.

Pretty sad, isn't it?
Why is he out here?

Why isn't he inside
playing with his toys?

Angelica took his toys.

What about his house?

She took his house.

What about his parents?

You mean..?

Yep.

She took them too.

But how?

She just came by,
booted tommy out, and took over.

Why didn't anyone stop her?!

She just kept
yelling and yelling

Till she got her way.

I'll show you.

[ Moaning]

Angelica:
more cookies!

And make it snappy!
Stu, hurry.

We can't keep
angelica waiting.

Oh, no, it's true.

Angelica did took
tommy's parents.

It gets worse.

Angelica:
mmm... Mmm... Mmm...

Hey, I thought
I told you

To stay out
of my sight.

Angelica, could I have just
one little crumb of cookie

Even if it's already been
in your mouth?

Please?

Sorry. No can do.

If I started giving you crumbs

I'd have to give them
to everyone.

Come to think of it

I'll take
that rattle too.

No, tommy, no!
Don't let her do it!

Stand up
for yourself!

Tommy never
lets angelica

Push him around.

The only reason
he's so brave

Is he has you around
to back him up.

Me? But I always get a-scared.

It doesn't matter.

Having a friend like you
gives tommy the guts

To stand up to bullies
like angelica.

Without you, he's just

Another broken-down baby
bumming cookie crumbs.

That's the last straw!

What?

I'm tired of living

In a world without me!

But, chuckie...

Look, angel

It's some guys' job
to be tough.

It's other guys' jobs
to be strong.

But me, I got a job
that's just as important.

You mean..?

Yeah.

I don't think

Running away
is such a good idea.

Angel guy,
take me home.

Hey, where did he go?

[ Gasping]

My bed, it's still here!

Hello, pillow.

Hello, night-light.

Hello,
you ol' jerk-in-the-box.

[ Yells]

No fires,
no broken buildings

No angelica.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Hey, what are you guys
doing here?

Our dads
brought us over

A long time ago

But you were sleeping.

We all felt bad

About your dad's toy
getting lost yesterday.

We brung you a surprise.

Ready?

Look!

Lots of shiny toys!

Our mommies and daddies
weren't using them

So we figured

Your daddy
could have 'em.

Aw, you guys didn't have to.

We wanted to,
chuckie.

You're our friend.

Oh, my dad
will be so happy.

[ Doorbell rings]

I'm afraid we owe you
an apology, chaz.

I discovered angelica
throwing this around her room.

And you're the only one I know

Who listens
to latvian folk dances.

I wondered
what happened to this.

Now, what do you say,
angelica?

Sorry, mr. Finster.

And she won't get dessert
for a whole week.

What?!

Wow, chuckie.

All that time
angelica had the toy.

Nah, chuckie.

It wasn't your fault

At all.