[Music]
daddy that's your question daddy's busy
with a very important project here honey
he doesn't finish it on time his boss
gets very angry babies come from well
when a mommy and daddy love each other
very much and there's nothing good on TV
they drink a magical potion that's
brewed in the City of Milwaukee nine
months later your boy the babies come
from Milwaukee yes they do there's a
real father-daughter moment to remember
I was trying to make a sandwich sandwich
could have waited well that's where
you're wrong Judy this ham expires today
what happens when Cena finds out
everything you told her is alive Oh Judy
by then she'll resent me for so many
other things hey Brian hi how was school
horrible well that's why they call it
school hell Brian come back here what's
wrong gym class I suck at basketball
guys pick on me well maybe you could
tell the gym teacher to talk to those
boys yeah and while you're hanging from
the flagpole by a jockstrap look around
so you can find a new school fill our
son needs some advice high schools tough
God it was a blast that was us we were
cool look at him and he tell I'm right
here mom I know I'm just trying to
toughen you up listen Brian if you want
him to stop picking on you have to take
matters into your own hands learn how to
fight no son fake an injury wearing a
knee brace people cuts your / isn't that
dishonest okay you want honest you pale
and you're good at math otherwise known
as a target so where am I supposed to
get any breaks in my closet thanks dad
hey don't run
see what I just did I just solved my
son's problem looks like when it comes
to this parenting thing I rule oh yeah
you what if I told them big giant lies
every time they came to me for advice
honey that's mine get your own thing
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
don't forget to pick up the cake for
your daughter's birthday party this
weekend Lauren 13 I know it's lauren and
she's 13 she's the taller one right why
yes I think we do need our deck sealed
we don't even have my check I've just
been informed that we don't have a deck
perhaps you could seal my daughter's
mouth shut Oh bill you know I have to
hang up my daughter wants to use the
phone do you have kids oh they're so
cute at that age word of advice don't
teach him to talk and find some guy on
the internet to send me a bus to get
supported get me one too aww it's her
birthday party she wants to invite Alex
Borden and she's waiting for him to call
I can't she just call him you don't just
call a boy she has to tell Tiffany to
call Lisa to call Brad to tell Alex to
call Lauren about some homework oh my
god tiffany is totally talking to Brad
again
just stay off the phone why should i
it's my house I'm the boss okay at the
bank's house and you're the boss but she
still can't tell us what to do where you
go talk to her whoa whoa whoa bill you
don't get it her daughter is about to
become a teenager this where I take over
you're done she won't need you again
till it's time to pay for the wedding so
now that she's a teenager I have no role
to play in my daughter's life listen
I've spent a lot of time planning this
party and I want her to have a nice 13th
birthday so just pretend she's like the
exercise bike in the garage and leave
her alone major the phone for the remote
and if i watch the game watch whatever
you want okay so almost 13 huh quite an
age I remember correctly bo was a big
problem that's still going on with the
boys I'm sorry about the phone thing or
earlier it's okay so this Alex hasn't
made any moves heavy like that he likes
you right I don't know my friends say he
does he's always doing weird stuff like
kicking my chair tie my shoelaces
together oh he likes you as the kind of
stuff you do when you like someone I
used to snap your mother's bra don't do
that I still like her honey you're smart
you're beautiful the boys are gonna go
crazy over you really of course just
wish Alex would call I know you do
sweetie and he'd be stupid not to thanks
dad you're welcome pumpkin then boys are
stupid so he might never call you
I'm just saying boys are just sickle at
that age he might be kicking a lot of
girls chairs but that doesn't mean
you're not special to me so you're
saying he likes lots of other girls that
he's never gonna call what did you do I
just got away my total loser I did not
just out of curiosity bill well we were
in the kitchen and I told you to stay
out of it was there like a circus song
playing in your head I was doing great
she said thank you then I just said one
more thing and it all went to hell Oh
can you come up here sure honey you know
why she wants to talk to me don't you
because I rule fine you take care of her
I'll take care of the other kids daddy
where's the scissor top drawer sweetie
next to the knives ah oh let me help you
with that heavy
[Music]
Oh anybody I'm home hey Belle hello
anybody good I'm home oh hi honey gets
to laurens in there on the phone with oh
let me take a s*ab at it does it begin
with an a and end with a Lex yeah alex
you finally called her really wonder how
that could have happened I don't know
Tiffany probably told Lisa to tell Alex
yeah maybe or what did you do having
lunch at the food court today I went
with us up the pizza looked a little dry
and I had chinese yes L belleville why
she's standing over by the burger place
but our little friend Alex bored please
tell me you did not talk to him so I'm
talking to him can I tell him that
Lauren really likes him and he should
call her he's a little hesitant
delivering his order and he's a dollar
short I make up the difference and you
told the boy that our daughter liked him
and then you paid him to call her for
your next trick you might want to try
pulling your head out of your ass what
you're not afraid your daughter will
find out you paid a boy to call her I
didn't pay him i said him still Linda's
right if Lauren finds out about this
she's gonna go crazy how's she gonna
find out I don't know maybe to keep you
tell that could have been a scream of
happiness oh here you got a phone call
you made him call me who's my little
girl yeah with you honey your father
just made a stupid mistake because he's
well stupid but now all blow over no one
will remember it by the time of your
party I don't want a party I can't have
her face my friends too well though I
hope you're happy I told you to stay out
of it for once in your life you couldn't
listen to me sometimes you make me so
angry who's my cue
Lauren home yet not she went to the mall
Oh is I have a surprise for a good idea
get right back on that horse and ride it
off a cliff oh hey sweetie house them
all fine Oh run I know you're mad at me
but to make it up to you I have a
surprise tonight we're gonna pierce your
ear come on give me that love yours are
already Pierce they are huh they are hey
who said you could get your ears pierced
hosted when she was 11 and we did it in
the doctor's office not with a needle
and potato Jethro okay once birthday fri
I'm not having a birthday party or you
could have your party at a blink 182
concert okay we're gonna have to talk
about this screaming thing what are you
i can't believe it i have to call
everybody I've already invited all your
friends including alex you didn't talk
to him did you good going Judy of course
not I told Tiffany to tell Stephanie to
tell Brittany to tell Alex Oh mom you
rule now there are eight tickets their
tour for your father and me are you guys
are going well yeah you're too young to
go to a concert by yourself okay then I
have some role I pick out the clothes
you wear I pick up the music you play in
the van and you don't talk to us during
the concert or we wear what we want we
play what we want we do whatever we want
and you still get to go to the concert
who does she think she is making up
rules for us yeah okay here are the real
rules I tell you what to wear you don't
sing along to the radio and the van and
you don't talk to anyone why do I have
rules bill you told the boys that our
daughter liked him you can never do that
again fine you know you could have told
me i had concert tickets instead of
leaving me standing there with my potato
in my hand like I could take a potato
out of your hand
[Music]
concentration now in session pinking up
James up top cake good luck mmm in paint
well me right now let's my wrist please
I gotta tell you Judy and sis or driving
to a wall tell you what pull over there
we'll stop and get some snacks you could
take a brief oh thank you kids are going
to get some snacks doing a real good job
not talking to the kids thanks you want
anything from the store I'm fine don't
even think of doing that pulling the car
away just as we're trying to get back in
give me some credit here I haven't done
that since you're in labor with Tina
centration names of kids who bugged me
Tiffany Lisa kid in the Hat nor mr.
Miller Oh Alex by the way thanks for
buying me that food the other day no
side so I wanted to ask you something
about Warren he did say she likes me
right no what I thought you said she
likes me and no are you all right cuz I
should call 911 she doesn't like okay
but you didn't hear that from me you
didn't hear anything from me now just
leave me alone how's it going fine just
fine can we go now are you all right
you're sweating I'm not my little girl's
birthday I was crying I'm here that
tears roll
and these are fancy stop complaining
such watch the whole concert on the
jumbotron Wow 80-foot tall television
think we tell them I wonder why Alex
isn't sitting next door who knows sit
next pick me I've been paying attention
alone i wonder if something Judy kids
have minds of their own the important
thing is nobody said anything to anybody
and we're all enjoying the concert what
did you do did you think something Alex
no oh now I know you're lying because
when you lie you stretch your workout I
do now
yeah did you tell Alex I didn't like him
oh yeah why would you tell them that I
didn't know what to say I was stuck in
the band with him he wouldn't let us see
you told him Lauryn didn't like him
first I'm not supposed to say she likes
now you matter because I said she
doesn't like me some credit here this I
didn't blab about how she goes crazy
waiting from the call how she dances for
the pillow or pretends it's him actually
right Alex and a piece of paper over and
over again Lauren loves alex store and
loves alex Lauren loves alex don't let a
lot louder in here a couple of seconds
ago turn around you too kid in the Hat
from now on I'm gonna make a note of
what color coat you're wearing I just
chased a girl who looks like you for
three parking lots look I'm sorry about
what happened please come back to the
concert with me no come on your mother's
gonna k*ll me no I know I screwed up I
was just trying to help we didn't told
me you liked this guy you said it was
really important to you what was I
supposed to do uh nothing
Oh see that's the problem you're my
daughter I can't just do nothing I want
you to be happy I gotta be honest for
the I'm lost here this is so much
simpler when you were little if you were
upset I just hold you upside down bite
you toes and you'd laugh and everything
to be okay you don't think that would
mean you but I'm really sorry I ruined
your birthday and I have no idea how to
make it better you can't I really like
the sky and you embarrassed me in from
all my friends there's nothing you can
do this gonna fix okay how about I give
you fifty bucks what I'll give you fifty
bucks to go back to the concert and let
me off the hook cash you won't take a
check show okay really you're not
insulted that I'm just buying your love
fork it over no punkin your happiness
means everything to me I know dad we
should be getting back oh and Here Come
two security guards and the girl I was
chasing
[Music]
caravan don't enjoy deal look at our
daughter and minutes ago like the world
was ending now it's like nothing ever
happened I will never understand her
thank you you finally get it walkin
expect from now on everything you do
around her bra oh she's becoming a woman
what do you say we ditch the kids you
sink down to the glutes take an example
would that be second chance I'm just
kidding
[Music]
I'm ready hands on the floor of the
concert like 20 years ago I don't have
better hair I think they're still
touring Big Bear is REO
Speedwagon attorney Don oh thank you
what ya'll believe all the time from
used to make fun of you know one we
could do that thing we used to do a
concert yeah I guess you ride your to
all my grandma let's go back to the
cheap seats
[Music]
now I gotta for ya
hey Lauren its effectiveness Jumbotron
[Applause]
[Music]
well that was a fairly uncomfortable
ride home hey honey happy birthday what
the worst part is if our children turned
out to be screwed up I can't just blame
you mom we still had a good time tonight
you want to go upstairs for an encore
only if you give me a standing O
I wasn't having any
way cuz imagine
01x04 - Still Rocking
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.