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congratulations on your new satellite
dish for your safety always wha-wha-wha
never have a satellite dish work well
honey you know when you look in the sky
you see stars hmm well those are the
stars of your favorite TV shows and
satellite dish sucks him out of the sky
like a magic vacuum cleaner puts him in
our TV daddy you know eventually she's
gonna get older and no you're just
making stuff up am i yeah you just told
that satellite suck TV shows out of the
sky don't they that it doesn't make it
true just because you say it like a
question doesn't it
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[Applause]
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alright I will see you soon Oh
grandfather will be here any minute I
can't wait to see grandpa I could really
use the money hey hey what did I tell
you about taking money from your
grandfather know you could have am right
now go upstairs and put on that ugly
reindeer sweater ESET you for Christmas
yeah see I earn my hair hello loved ones
hand tolerated 10 my song consequence of
my sister's attempt to make another man
jealous bail your father call from the
expressway you should be here any minute
oh great that gives me about five
minutes to grow a backbone and become a
man for God's sake did it quote the last
Christmas card he sent me I am making
effort he drove all the way up from
Florida to see him you can use this time
to work on your relationship we have
worked on it we got it down to 20
beautiful minutes once every few years
beautiful hi you to sit on the couch
barely talking while he eats a bag of
nuts and once they're gone so is he I
don't get it he's such a sweet guy you
only like him because he feeds you all
those cheesy compliments do realize
you're prettying yourself up for my dad
any creep hey grandpa oh my God look at
the size you used for last time I was
here you were tip squeak oh it looks
like this joint has a bouncer look at
you two carrot top puddin pop as
beautiful as ever I'm wearing that
sweater that you sent me did you put
that on just when I give you money cuz
it's working
I want money to Gina I want money please
as long as you can answer one question
how does your mother get younger every
year did you just giggle look at this
one one sister just as pretty as the
next okay kids go put half of your money
away hey Dad hey Bill good to see you
give me a son Oh Oh al house one either
fine let me tell you something though
takes a brave man to marry a woman 20
years as junior they can be very
demanding at bedtime sexually dad dad we
get it so how's it going at that
department store they promote you to the
makeup counter yet hey I'm kidding why
are you so sensitive I didn't say
anything okay okay I'll back off ok well
let you two talk i'm sure you have a lot
to catch up on so how was the drive good
how was work good I just wish bill would
develop some sort of relationship with
his father I mean he never comes five
the kids barely know their grandfather
yeah that's sad but the important thing
is he said I was pretty honey come say
goodbye my dad's leaving already well we
were hoping you'd stay for dinner no
thanks honey I I gotta check into my
motel and not I'm getting together with
some friends well bill why don't you go
with your dad what what yeah might be
fun and you'd love to have
there wouldn't yell I guess gonna go I
guess I'm meeting some buddies from a
steel mill you know we're gonna go to to
see his tower and visit our old pal
learning and have a drink Oh Ernie lives
in the Sears Tower sort of he fell into
the blast furnace when we're making a
beams but pretty sure he's holding up to
30 second floor so you toasted him now
you're toasting him hey a little respect
for the dead sorry so I'm punching the
hell out of Bernie but that dumb son of
a look on wall you fall to know
that dump zombie what were you guys
fighting about what the hell difference
does that make so now I got a dilemma I
get a give him enough of a b*ating so
that he don't remember what happened but
not enough so that he d*ed their knees
back at work the next day that's how
precise a b*ating your old man can I on
summer learning who are a lift your
glass you def bastard with toasting
earnings ha tourney yeah you ought to
tell that story about how you b*at him
up grinds is a little hard of hearing
too many shifts near the grinder so well
how come you never got your boy a job at
the milk well you couldn't cut it easy
was always the clean fingernails book
lyman type oh there is a college boy huh
I only went for six weeks yeah we're
drinking would walk to Shakespeare over
here me Oh college boy wants us to call
him William no no that's not my name
that Shakespeare's well it is my name
too but calm down son you're
embarrassing yourself
so let's get out of here and find a
place to watch the hockey game you know
I just got a new satellite dish we can
watch it back at my place fine slim
Scully and I'll meet you there see you
there college boy I flunked out what I
flunked out hey watch your mouth this is
a classy place trying that's fine right
that's my beer grinds keep it early and
you see ya you can say old geezer he
can't hear a word you saying we should
be well he was supposed to meet us back
here but that was a couple hours ago so
I'm guessing he ditched us why would he
do that because he didn't want me to go
in the first place and I didn't want to
go the only person who wants us to be
together is you you are being so
stubborn I am NOT being stubborn i just
decided a long time ago it's just not
worth it oh yeah the famous bow hunting
trip let it go three miserable days of
him trying to make me into a man for god
sake well you need a tent for shelter
dad how about shelter there's only tents
yeah because they have fur and a k
where's my cane ice made it into a
little flame caps it all off by putting
the fake arrow through his head and let
me think I sh*t it was a little joke oh
yeah real funny knock knock who's there
you k*lled your father I'm turning in
you don't live here droids
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hey hey fine Oh Ronald's coming over
we're going to train for the math
Olympics math Olympics what country
competing for nerd landia go ahead and
joke dad these math competitions are
fierce and grooming your father and I
will be there Saturday to cheer you on
Oh Saturday let me just check my day
planner ah that's the night of the WCW
slugfest dad don't worry about it it's
just a regional finals you know most
parents will have a video camera maybe I
can get you a tape right we'll put it
with the others yeah what he said it was
okay but he doesn't mean it and it's not
okay Judy its a math made and math plus
bill equals slumber hello yeah I'll
millers my father what where okay okay
we'll be right there that was good
samaritan hospital apparently my dad's
in the cardiac ward god Brian watch Gina
will be back in a little while don't
tell the kids you're right we don't want
to panic him panic me about what not
saying your mother and I just have to
rush down to the hospital the hospital
no big deal if you need us we'll be in
the cardiac ward the cardiac ward
panicky I didn't tell him it was grandpa
grandpa
God he looks terrible this can't be good
we don't know that Judy this has got to
be serious my dad never goes to Doctors
this is a guy who once told me a little
gangrene never hurt anybody his dad
could you trust what's wrong with him
let's see well you'll have to wait for
the doctor but if you want to say
something to him I'd say it quick too
bad calm down we don't have all the
details she said if I want to talk to
him I should do it quick stop assuming
the worst it could mean anything like
what juvie what what I don't know your
father's dying I was trying to be nice
oh well it's waking up what should I do
this could be your last gene hey Dad
well I don't know what happened i was
having this terrible pain so I took a
cab over here and now they're doing all
sorts of tests on my heart Oh in case I
don't get a chance to say it sorry for
ditching it last night no no it was
funny grind steak for breakfast well I'm
glad you had fun sometimes I feel like
like you don't like spending time with
me no I don't know where you got that I
love spending time with you really sure
we had some great times together what
was your favorite just picks one anyone
at all
well I guess that bow hunting trip we
went on was fun I thought you hated that
trip no it really toughened me up you
know being in the forest and the dead of
winter you pretending I k*lled you me
crying to my face froze yeah yeah that
was a fun time I hope we can do that
again sometime yeah sure so be great to
do that again all right mr. Miller your
tests were fine you can go home okay doc
he's okay yeah just a little acid reflux
you might be a little shaky for a couple
of hours that's why I called your son to
drive you home so my father's not dying
dying no he'll bury us all but the nurse
said if we had stopped beside when we
should say it quick yeah she is a real
stickler for a visiting hours tonight
take it easy tomorrow back to normal the
big question is when can I go bow
hunting with my son anytime you hear
that son the Miller men have a date for
the great outdoors okay visiting hours
are over oh you couldn't have said that
the first time
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Bravo c-span MTV history Showtime
learning QVC Chinese Chinese
Chinese are you doing I thought you and
your dad would be getting ready for the
big bow hunting trip I haven't heard
from him i'm just hoping he's forgotten
all about it you know kind of like my
birthday's my graduation my first name a
couple of times oh what a beautiful day
out there Billy get your lazy butt off
that self will come and help me with
this stuff where'd you get all this I
borrowed it from slim for a trip
tomorrow tomorrow I learned the other
day that the future is now life is a
very precious thing let's go out there
and k*ll us some deer yeah I don't know
sounds not really the hunting type of
guy don't sell bill short as a hunter
after all he begged the most beautiful
girl in Chicago oh go on yeah I'd have a
good week thing is dad I was planning to
watch a fight tomorrow night well fight
I ordered the WCW slugfest on
pay-per-view what the fake wrestling
with the phony baloneys in tights that's
not a fight come out on alone I'll show
you a fight and I'm not going out on the
lawn with you I'm always kidding i know
you have a sense of humor I seen you try
and play football listen listen I
realized something in that hospital bed
I have made a lot of unfair remarks
about you being a candy-ass and I just
want to say I'm sorry thank you it's all
my fault that you're a candy yet but I
raised you soft but I gotta hand it to
you it took a lot of guts to come to
that hospital and begged me to finally
make a man out of you well I just thank
God we have the second chance
you promised me he was dying he looked
like he was well you're supposed to know
for sure I count on your medical
expertise I'm a dental assistant I make
appointments and help people to bite
down on this bike down on this because
of you I'm stuck going to the woods with
a maniac armed with steel-tipped arrows
which you're probably made out of his
old coworkers I just wanted you to have
some sort of relationship with your
father but clearly that is not going to
happen so if you don't want to go on
this trip why don't you just tell him I
can't I look him in the eye and he gives
me that scary dad glare well then fine
be afraid of him for the rest of your
life but you know what bill he's not
that scary well what do you maybe the
girl with the angel eyes and the smile
that can light up a room he treats me
differently to how he treats you I just
wish you'd understand that angel eyes
lantern check pompous check latrine what
okay we are off to the math Olympics
yeah have fun on your trip down you want
a bow and arrow in case one of them reps
makes you bad call no I've got my w*apon
right here corpus callosum so the left
brain with the right brain is thinking
oh good luck oh you guys are getting
ready for the big trip bill isn't there
something you want to get out of your
system that's been bothering you you
know something that's been weighing you
down for a long time don't worry Judy we
got this well good luck honey hey I told
you to turn off that stupid wrestling
this is research that sleeper hold might
come in handy if I don't k*ll the deer
all away okay that's it what are you
doing exactly what I did with your baby
blanket 40 years ago why would you do
that doing you a favor listen son you
have to learn how to live like instead
of just watching it and when you get
back from this trip you will be able to
set a better example for that boy of
yours make them more of a man what's
that supposed to mean math Olympics
since when is math the sport for guys
like Brian's fine he doesn't need to
change and I'm not gonna pull the same
crap on him you pulled on me woody
transect though I'm trying to say I
hated that bow hunting trip I didn't
want to go then I don't want to go now I
only said all those nice things at the
hospital because I thought you were
dying I don't know why I bother
you're never gonna change oh haha yeah
look who's dying again it's not gonna
work this time dad all very funny look
who's turning blue oh crap prove that
the altitudes of a triangle are
bisectors in the triangle formed by
connecting the meeting points of the
altitude with the size of the original
triangle what are you doing here hunting
trips off where's your dad in the
hospital how's it going wish I broke his
rib hi I'm looking in someone I met bill
he'll be fine he was choking on a peanut
the important thing is I finally told
him what I thought you finally got
through to him huh you'll never change
but since I put him in the hospital he's
a little scared of me did you came to
see fine yeah well I decided I should
work on a relationship and I can
actually do something about question 33
mathletes on your mark let a be sandy
the integers of decreasing value greater
than zero suppose that a times C plus B
times C equals the product of B plus D
plus a minus B times B plus B minus a
pleasure prove that a times B plus C
times e if not she does I think Oh Brian
that's my boy you can tell your dad no
well never was a story of more woe than
this of Juliet and her Romeo you know
your son is a nice boy you can't write
worth crap
[Music]
02x14 - Still Bill's Dad
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.