Christmas Ransom (2022)

[bunniefuu]

Alright, sit down, shut up.

Are you ready? Good.

'Cause I'm about to tell you

a story.

It's a modern-day

Christmas epic,

a tale of saviours and scrooges,

family and friends,

heroes and villains

and of Harrington & Sons,

the greatest toy store

in the whole wide world.

It was a race

to grow up...

Or at least

the greater metropolitan region.

Harrington & Sons was

a magical wonderland,

a toy store that kids

never wanted to leave.

And I wanted to be

just like you

Wanted to be taller too...

This was a toy store

that was chockablock full

of the best toys ever.

It had steam trains, puppy dogs

and the famous

Harringtons ball pit.

Everything was special,

even that weird

toy soldier thing.

I just know you're close

I just know...

This fine establishment

was owned by a man named

Clarence Harrington,

a real-life Santa Claus.

Clarence was beloved by

every kid who knew him

and people came

from far and wide to meet him

and share in

his Christmas spirit.

He was a good bloke.

Hi, Mr Harrington.

He was the father

of Derrick and Terri,

who both loved the store

with all their hearts.

Derrick wanted to grow up

just like his dad

and run the toy shop

exactly the way he did

and, of course, keep up

their Christmas tradition

of sending letters to Santa

in the pouch of

their giant kangaroo.

Open the door

and you walk back home...

Sadly, all this joy

was not to last,

for time has a funny way

of changing things.

But this story actually starts

with a much older Derrick

and Gladys, the best

security guard in the universe.

Careful. She's about to pop.

Gladys, what are you doing here?

I sent you home an hour ago.

Clearly I'm still needed.

Hold this.

I got it.

Greg-Nog?

Another gift from Greg.

By far, the worst.

Hoo.

You still haven't told him?

Told him what, Derrick?

As my employer,

the status of my love-life is

actually none of your business.

- And what about as a friend?

- Mm, would we say we're friends?

How many letters for Santa

have you got?

- Jeez, that's bleak.

- Yeah.

Well, why write to Santa

when you can text him?

Well, with less ballast, maybe

this'll take off this year.

Yeah.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

I know Christmas by yourself

can be tough,

especially when

you've done it so many times.

How about I let you win

at giant Jenga?

- Go home, Gladys.

- Alright.

Just let me do

one more sweep of the floor.

Now.

And for Pete's sake,

talk to him!

- Mm.

- You forgot your Greg-Nog.

Keep it.

- Merry Christmas, Gladys.

- Merry Christmas, Derrick.

And with

true love and brotherhood

Each other now embrace...

Good evening,

Christmas shoppers.

Just a reminder Harrington &

Sons is closing in 10 minutes,

so feel free to queue up

at the registers now

and beat the Christmas rush.

Comfort and joy

Oh, tidings

of comfort and joy...

Cute!

Can we keep him, Mum? Please?

He's not that expensive.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. Maybe

find something a little smaller.

You know, this one

was just telling me

how much he wanted a good home.

Do you promise to walk him

every day?

I promise!

Then he's all yours.

- Thank you so much.

- Oh, it's nothing.

And, look,

you can't break up the litter.

How about your take

his little sister too, hey?

Are you sure?

Yeah, it's my pleasure.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Where are your video games?

Oh, sorry, mate.

We don't actually stock

those here, but...

have you seen this?

Of course I have.

Well, just wait for it.

Wait for it.

Yeah, look, I just came here

for video games.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Holy dooley!

This place sucks, by the way.

Holy dooley.

- Pete!

- Hi.

- Is everything OK?

- Uh, yeah.

- Well, no.

- Ooh!

Someone graffitied all

the Magna Sketches again.

- Yeah, that is very lifelike.

- I know.

I reckon that's us done

for the day, mate.

- I'll close up.

- No, I'll do it.

- I always do it.

- Nah, don't be silly.

- It's Christmas Eve.

- I do still need to find Jesus.

As in 'baby', for the nativity.

At least a substitution.

I could probably...

Ooh!

Good grief. Sorry!

Playlist mix-up.

- Go home to your family, Pete.

- Yeah,

- OK. On.

- I really don't think that's...

Attention, valued customers.

This is Pete

from the front desk.

Harrington & Sons is now closed.

Thank you very much.

There we go. Just in case.

Alright.

Well, merry Christmas,

Mr Harrington.

I'll see you Boxing Day.

Merry Christmas, Pete.

"Thanks, Gregory.

"Also, LOL,

"I forgot to say

I'm... pregnant."

Don't be stupid.

Wombat, confirm

you have eyes on the target.

OK, but I think

we should just wait

until they turn the lights

back on.

Oh, my gosh...

Oh, bingo!

Commence

Operation Christmas Star.

Left. Left.

No, your left!

We have the same left.

Oh, right.

Right.

Little more.

A little more.

What have we got here?

Merry Christmas, Gladys.

Yes!

Wombat, look!

I know! It's beautiful!

No. Behind you.

Waah!

Well, well, well,

if it isn't Barbie

and Ken.

- Don't call me Ken!

- I didn't.

Run!

- Brady, save yourself!

- Never leave a man behind.

Attack.

Hey! Urgh!

Get back here,

you little skid marks!

Think quick!

She's like

a pregnant Terminator!

Get back here!

She's unstoppable!

She has the power of two humans!

Run!

- Uh-oh!

- Don't you dare!

I'm sorry.

This is it. This is the end.

Next station, my office.

What did you eat?!

Don't forget, Wombat,

we're pleading the Fifth.

Right.

The fifth what?

Don't say a word.

So, you thought you could fool

old Gladys, huh?

I expected more from you.

Maybe not from you.

Please, drink.

You must be thirsty.

You sure, mate?

Could be a long night.

Have it your way, then.

Ahhh!

Tell me your names now!

- Wombat!

- No. Wombat!

- Sorry, Brady!

- Stop!

I've been after you two

for a very long time,

Wombat and Brady.

No-one steals from Mr Harrington

on my watch.

December 1,

you started off small,

the Good Night Night Light.

December 2,

Outback Olive Sleeping Bag.

Very cosy.

Then, December 15,

for some inexplicable reason,

you steal my lunch

from the office microwave.

- That wasn't us.

- We don't even like risotto.

Who said anything about risotto?

These were all taken

inside the store.

It's not stealing

if it doesn't leave the store.

Enough with the whistling, Shez.

Oh, sorry, ma'am.

We're actually closed

for the evening.

But we're open again Boxing Day.

All Christmas trees 50% off.

Hello, Derrick.

I'm sorry.

Do we know each other?

Hey, Mr Harrington,

I didn't find baby Jesus,

but I did find

a little poopy baby doll.

Pete, get out of here.

Where do you think you're going?

- Where's your mum?

- Dunno.

- Alright. Your dad?

- Dunno.

Do you think

I was born yesterday?

No, but it looks like your baby

should have been.

What baby?

I know kids like you.

I've known them all my life.

Selfish, mean,

sticky little bullies

who get away with everything.

Well, not today.

Who are they?

What time is it?

- 7:00.

- Give me that!

What haven't you stolen?!

Alright, you two stay here and

think about what you've done.

Oh, we will.

Hey!

Aw!

Hey, you know... you know,

you know, whatever it is...

Whatever it is, you know,

crime is not the answer.

Is it money? If it's money,

then we are hiring.

We're clear.

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

An angel.

What are you lookin' at?

Sorry. So...

You got a bloody lift here

or what?

- No.

- Should be criminal.

- Let him go.

- It's too late for that.

He's just a kid. Please.

We let him go, first thing

he's gonna do is call the cops.

No, he won't. Will you, Pete?

No?

Real believable.

Nothing to be scared of

as long as you do what we say.

Now sit down.

- Hey...

- I said sit down!

Just do what they say, Pete.

Look, look, I know...

I know the holidays are hard.

You'll be hard

if you don't sit down.

What?

You know what I mean!

What?

Don't. No, don't... Ooh!

Oh! Hey!

You got a problem, Harrington?

No.

No problem.

Get up.

They're gonna throw us

in the slammer, Brady!

That's the least of our worries

if we don't get out of here.

Get rid of the photos.

That is so smart!

Way cooler than using

the spare key.

- What?

- The one hanging on the wall.

Oh, my...

Just a double knot?

We're not

tying shoelaces, Sherrin!

What kind of knot is that?

Whoa!

Alright, alright,

keep your knickers on.

My knickers are in a knot.

Oh.

- You OK, Pete?

- Yep.

Alright, fine. What do you want?

300,000 in cash.

I'm sorry.

We don't have that much.

Oh, I'm sure Mr Harrington

will think of something.

"All Hail the Gaming Queen"?

I'm sorry, who is...

Who is... Who is that?

- That's my sister.

- It's your sister?

Your sister owns

Territron Games?

Oh, my God, Mr Harrington!

I own literally every single one

of her video games.

- Shut it!

- Wh...

Where's your phone?

Hurry up, dimples! You

waste our time, I waste you!

Crap!

Where's my phone?!

Crap!

Crap.

- Oh!

- Head to the roof!

Oi!

- Mama! I need a new nappy!

- Shh, shh, shh, shh!

- Stop it! Stop it.

- Mama! I need a new nappy!

Hey! Get back here!

Wait.

Where did they go?

Did you check upstairs?

You gotta be kidding me.

Of course I checked upstairs.

- Well, what's with the noises?

- Stop nagging.

I know what I'm doing.

Nan, oh, my God,

can you just shut it

for once in your life?

Mama!

There was tomato in that.

Now my lips are tingly.

What is that?

Don't forget,

I'm gluten-intolerant,

peanut-intolerant,

lactose-intolerant!

They used to

just sh*t themselves.

I need to poop again.

- Is everything OK?

- It's fine.

Let's make the call.

She'll never fit in here.

Who are you guys talking about?

The fat security go...

We don't want him to faint.

I said we need them

for this job.

Alright!

I'm not trying to bust ya,

but we are in serious danger,

Look.

Stop it!

You don't need to talk to him!

- He's scared.

- He's fine!

It's ringing.

She's, um, not answering.

Well, why isn't she answering?

I don't know, OK?

- That's ridiculous!

- It's been a while.

What do we do?

Keep your grubby mouth shut

and follow me.

Where do we go?

It's Christmas Eve.

She's probably...

Hello. Terri speaking.

Terri!

- Goodnight. Merry Christmas.

- See you. Merry Christmas.

Hi. Sorry. Who is this?

It's Derrick.

Derrick...?

Y-your brother.

Oh! Right.

Um, sorry. New phone.

Well, thanks for answering,

I... I guess.

Yeah, it's a Christmas miracle.

OK, well, great chat.

Give me that!

Teresa Harrington,

we have your brother hostage.

And you've got one hour

to give us $300,000 or else.

I don't know what you're trying

to pull, Derrick,

but this isn't funny.

No, they're serious, Terri.

They came into our

store. They've got us here.

They... they came in with g*ns.

Oh, my God, OK.

Well, I'll call the police.

You call the cops and you'll

never see your brother again.

They want money.

I need your help, Terri.

- Did you hear what I said?

- Yeah, yeah, I did.

Listen up, C-E-h*,

we want 300K in one hour

or we start playing hangman.

I already said that.

It's not what you say, Shez,

it's how you say it.

You gotta scare 'em and hang up.

Then they call back

all crying and blubbering

and begging to do

whatever it is you want.

Uh-oh.

What? What's the matter?

Oh, no! Wombat, don't you dare!

- I can't help it!

- Can't help what?

- Hold it in!

- It's coming!

What's the matter?

When Wombat gets nervous, he...

What the hell was that?

It wasn't that bad.

Christ, that's rank!

Oh, oh, it's the mice.

We have big mice in our store.

We don't have mice.

Yes, we do. We do.

Remember I left

the invoice on your desk

for the mouse traps?

Wasn't that for the board game?

No.

Jesus, Pete, you bought

200 actual mouse traps?

Doesn't smell like mice.

Smells like rats.

- She's coming in!

- Where do we go?

Bloody big rats.

Wait, wait,

wait, wait. Uh...

- What do we do?!

- Be quiet!

Shh, shh! Just follow me.

Silent night

Holy night...

Pete, what are you doing?

Oh, come on! Having a bit

of fun. You know the words.

All is calm

All is bright...

I think they've broken him.

- No, they haven't.

- All...

It's a diversion. Let's go!

Bright

Round yon virgin

Virgin

Holy infant

So tender and mild

Immaculate conception...

Uh...

You try that again,

I'll cut your jingle ba*ls off.

At least he'd hit

the high notes.

Right,

Tweedledee and Tweedlebum,

it's time to get you

out of here.

- What? No way!

- Yes way!

It's too dangerous and you two

are gonna cause trouble.

What about Pete?

Pete? Why do you care about him?

He...

seems to be a nice guy.

Well, I guess nice guys

do finish last. Let's go!

- Pete's our brother!

- Wombat, stop!

Employee-of-the-month Pete?

He's your brother?!

And you never leave

a man behind.

Well, we can't stay here.

Come on.

- Snitch!

- What? You don't!

You don't feed them

to the sharks either.

Shut up! Let's go!

Mr Harrington

doesn't have any sharks.

Shh!

- Mr Harrington...

- Hmm?

There is something

that I need to tell you.

- Hmm?

- The... My...

So, why hasn't your sister

rung back?

It's been 10 minutes, yeah?

Just give her time.

She was probably just in shock.

I'm no therapist,

but in a ransom,

family members

generally tend to -

I don't know -

care?

I'm telling you it was shock.

Thought you said

this was a done deal, Shez.

I've got this. Trust me.

- Done that once before.

- Nan!

Or have you forgotten

Smith Street?

- I said I've got this!

- Yeah?

'Cause it's looking

a bit like a shitshow, Shez.

Maybe you need to call

for some backup.

We just don't talk much, yeah,

since our dad died.

It's just a little rough patch

we're going through.

Your dad died 10 years ago.

You haven't spoken to her

in 10 years?!

She will call back, OK?

You'll get your money.

Can we all just calm down?

Oh, we're all calm here,

Derrick.

For now.

Hey, Mr Harrington,

what if your...

What if you sister

doesn't help us?

She will.

- She will.

- OK, she will.

Then why hasn't she called back?

Pete, drop it.

I'm sorry.

You know, I know how hard

it can be to lose family.

Yeah, it is.

Mr Harrington, there's something

that I'm gonna tell you

about the mice in the tunnel.

Got about 50 more of them

over there

if you don't shut up.

What are you doing?

Calling the cops,

but it's not going through.

No cops! They'll k*ll Pete!

OK, traps shut. I think

they've cut off the phone lines.

Where's my phone?!

- It's low.

- Thanks for that, Einstein.

I got that.

Is it happening?

Or Braxton Hicks?

Nothing's happening! Get off!

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

What?

I know who to call.

Oh! Oh, wait.

Who is it? Gladys?

Mate!

You can't let her

do this to you.

Gotta use this

if you wanna protect this.

No, no, she's just calling to

say thank you for the Greg-Nog.

- Gregory, you didn't.

- I did.

It was small and it's for

the 12 days of Christmas.

Oh! Mate!

- No, no, no, no!

- I'm putting my foot down.

- Hey!

- You guys dated for how long?

OK, it was about a year.

- And she broke up with you when?

- Nine months ago.

And when you asked her why,

she...

She vomited on the pavement,

ran away

and then ghosted me ever since.

Exactly.

Nine months. Vomiting.

Uncharacteristic mood swings.

It's not gonna take a genius

to figure out what's

going on here, Greg.

She's a player.

And if you pick up this phone,

you're gonna get played.

But I thought she was the one.

Greg, you're one of the best

blokes that I know,

and one day, you're gonna

make someone very happy.

But until then,

we've got lives to save.

Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam.

You're right. Thanks, man.

Alright, firies, we ready?

We good? Let's bring it in.

Yeah, nice. Less shirts,

more skin.

You lot are gonna make

the front cover

of the Christmas calendar.

Mwah!

You put the 'fire' in 'fireman'.

Good. Great, yep.

Oh, that's hot.

This is so hot

I'm gonna have to put you out.

OK, great. That's great.

That's... Something's missing.

- Puppies are ready.

- Oh, yeah. Get 'em in there.

He's rejected me!

Try again!

He's never rejected me before.

Maybe he's busy saving lives.

The puppies are babies.

You've saved them.

You're handing them

back to their mother.

This is September, you know?

Yeah, nice.

- Crap, it died!

- What do we do now?

We could...

fly a drone outside

with a message?

Guys...

The doors are locked.

Maybe we should reconnect

the phone lines.

They're on the roof!

Guys, I think I've found

something.

- How do you know that?

- Research.

Brady! Gladys!

Will this work?

What are we gonna do,

barbecue our way outta this?

Ah!

Hey, you know I'm, uh...

pretty handy with a yo-yo.

What?

You know, loop the loop.

Walk the dog, rock the cradle.

You know, the key is

you gotta be...

Ohh!

Gentle.

- You gotta use your wrist.

- I'll break your wrists.

OK.

Hey, Shez, could I have

a glass of water?

- No!

- Please?

It's the middle of summer.

I'm so dry.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to spit.

You're a really weird guy,

you know that?

Thank you.

Not a compliment.

Well, please. Please, Shez.

There's some water behind the

counter. I won't move a muscle.

I swear, I'm not gonna m...

Pete, what are you doing?!

It's a classic

distraction tactic.

OK, two things.

First, Wombat and Brady are

the mice in the play tunnel.

- Don't know where they've gone.

- What?!

Second, and possibly worse,

I'm in love with Shez.

My God, I'm sweating like

a banana in the sun

and my heart feels like

it's exploding.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Because what's a girl like her

gonna want with a guy like me?

No, not that. Why are Wombat

and Brady in the store?

Oh, um, look, they were gonna

meet me after work.

I tried to tell you,

but then Nan came in

and started asking about

your sister and the money.

It's OK. It's OK.

It's all gonna be fine.

I thought maybe

they could help us.

No. I mean, they can't.

They have to stay hidden.

It's safer that way.

Look, if these two get their

money, nobody's gonna get hurt.

OK. Are you sure they're

gonna get their money?

Yes.

Terri might just need

a bit of a push.

Hey!

- Hey...

- Shez, what are you doing?

Hostages don't get water.

- They get hostaged!

- Listen.

Let me call Terri again.

To speed things up.

You let me talk to Terri and I

can get the money here faster.

Do it.

Uh, you said I had an hour.

Terri, it's me, Derrick.

Just checking in about

the money. Are you...

Working on it.

Cool, cool. You might need

to speed things up a bit.

It's just getting a little bit

tense around here.

Yeah, I'm doing my best.

It's a pretty crappy situation

you've thrown at me, you know?

I'm the one being held ransom,

so it's a bit more crappy

for me, yeah?

You obviously have no idea

how hard it is

to withdraw 300K in cash

on Christmas Eve.

Oh, well, sorry we're not

all swimming in millions.

You're the one who got

a business handed to him.

H-handed? Handed?!

Do you know how hard

I've worked?

And by the way, you can't swim

in millions.

I mean, you could probably run a

small bath in millions at best.

The fact that you even know that

says so much.

Oh, my God, you are

so self-righteous.

Well, that's better than

being selfish!

How am I selfish?

You couldn't even make it

to his funeral!

Since you've got it all

figured out, then...

Damn it!

What the bloody hell was that?

Well, I once listened to a

podcast about sibling rivalry...

- Not now, Pete.

- Can it, Pete.

Shut your damn yammer hole,

Pete.

Get her back on the phone, now.

Yes! Yes!

We did it!

I thought you said

this place was clear!

It is! It... was.

Jesus Christ, it's Smith Street

all over again.

It's nothing like

robbing a servo.

Something must have

set off the alarm.

No, not someTHING, Derrick.

Someone.

- Where's the panel?

- We'll never tell.

Don't! It's behind the counter.

It's behind... It's over there.

It's coming from

the security office.

Oh, no!

If this goes bad,

I'm taking you down with us.

You know that, right?

Guard Pimples and Dimples.

This is my job. I'll go.

That'll take all night!

No, no. No, no, no.

Wait, wait, wait!

Pete!

- Oh, help me!

- Pete!

Pete!

Good job, Wombat.

Guess I'm not as smart as

I look.

Um, Gladys...

If she gets this room,

she'll have all the cameras.

There'll be nowhere left

to hide.

She's old! I can take her.

You can take her.

Brady, we have to go

off the grid.

No way! If we show Gladys,

that's it for us.

We haven't got a choice.

Off the grid?

There's one place where

your cameras can't see.

Kid, I've got this place locked

down tighter than a cat's bum.

That's what you think.

And also, gross.

Are we gonna die here,

Mr Harrington?

No.

Just do what they say and we'll

get through this together.

What if she finds

Wombat and Brady?

What if she hurts them?

I'll keep a lookout

for the firetruck.

What is this place?

Wouldn't know.

- Just found it like this.

- Brady!

If we tell her,

she'll kick us out.

- You live here?

- It's just temporary.

Until Pete finds us a new place.

But... where are your parents?

Mum's in heaven.

Oh.

And what about your dad?

- We don't know.

- But he's coming back.

Pete said.

He left his favourite cap.

He always takes it with him

when he's leaving

for a long time.

So he'll definitely be back.

You can't live here.

It's not safe.

Please don't tell anyone.

They'll split us up.

- No, no.

- They've done it before.

But Pete's 18

in two weeks and three days.

And then we can have a place.

And Dad will come home

and it'll all go back to normal.

Hey.

If I've been...

you know...

I didn't mean to be.

Apology accepted.

It's just... kids...

aren't really my thing.

Oh, we know.

We see you some nights,

staying up late,

staring at the baby dolls.

I don't... I don't do that.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Cup of tea?

Nuh. Nah. I'm right.

- Please?

- We shared our secret.

- Is that lactose-free?

- Mm-hm.

This is the coldest thing

I could find.

Oh!

Thank you.

Shez, it's not too late

to call this off, yeah?

And why the hell

would we do that?

What happened at Smith Street?

Nothing.

I mean, you and Nan don't

exactly seem like a...

a well-oiled machine.

I just don't want anyone

to get hurt.

Smith Street was a long time ago

and it was my first job.

We're fine now.

Did something go wrong?

No.

Was that how you hurt your leg?

Did you get shot?

I've got cerebral palsy,

you dingo!

Oh. Oh! Sorry.

Oh, well...

Well, pardon my

'terrible callsy'.

Look, Shez, you seem

like a good person.

Yeah? And what makes you

say that?

Because Nan used the cricket bat

and you used the pool noodle.

I guess kids never

really liked me.

I mean, they'd look

at my clean clothes

and respect for the rules and...

still weren't friendly.

Just last week,

my godson bit me

and I had to throw him

into the baptismal font.

Just made me think.

When I have this baby...

would they like me?

Well, I like you.

Yeah, me too.

Please!

Yeah, you're funny.

And it's fun when

you try to chase us.

Cheers.

Oi!

Whoever set this off

is still here.

- What?

- They're hiding in the store!

Maybe we left it on earlier.

Maybe we did.

You've had a screw loose

all night.

- You know something!

- I don't.

- No, I don't.

- Leave him alone!

You're gonna blinkin'

tell me now

or I'm gonna file down this toy

spoon and shiv you with it!

F...

It's just like in the movies.

Which one's Greg?

The one with the big hose.

Cool!

Wow!

Nah, it's locked. Get the axe.

Get the axe.

- Mate, what are you doing?

- I'm breaking down the door.

OK, you need to stop, breathe...

There is no time.

Do you smell any smoke?

No, because there isn't any.

Mate, it's Gladys!

- What do you mean?

- Think about it!

The phone call,

now the fire alarm at her work.

Mate, it's a Christmas

booty call.

No, she would not break protocol

like that.

All I'm saying is that there's

no smoke and there's no fire.

Just get the axe!

- Who's in there?

- Hello? Anybody in there?

Everybody needs

to just keep quiet

and stay cool, right?

No, you need to let us go.

What did I just say?

They're about to break down

the door and get us anyway.

- Bring it on!

- Cool it, Nan!

Don't tell me to cool it!

You're the one got us in

this blinkin' mess in the first place!

I didn't know the alarms

would go off!

They didn't go off.

Somebody set them off!

And they were meant to be cut

with the phone lines.

- That wasn't my job.

- Well, it wasn't my job!

OK, stop, alright?

I can fix this.

Hey! You stay put!

Let me talk to them.

I can get them to leave.

No, no, no! Mr Harrington!

No, no, no.

This is the safest thing

for everyone, Pete.

Derrick's right.

So we let the smooth-talker

just 'speed things up' again?

Nan, I'm really sorry

about Smith Street,

but if we get caught,

you're gonna go away for

a lot longer than five years.

Fine!

Let's go, chicken legs.

Right.

Stand back, stand back! OK.

Three, two, one!

Whoa! Ooh!

- Hey, guys.

- Hey!

What's up?

Mr Harrington. Uh...

Hey, is...

Is everything alright?

Oh, sorry, fellas.

That was all on me.

I was trying to heat up

my dinner

on one of these

My First Barbecues.

Got distracted and...

whole thing went up in smoke!

Oh.

So there's no fire?

No. No, nothin' to worry about.

Well, look, usually

there is a call-out fee

for this kind of thing, but...

you did donate all those toys

to the bushfire appeal,

so we'll let it slide.

Ah! Thanks, guys.

Really appreciate it.

Well, have a good night!

OK.

Hey, uh, just...

just one more thing, um...

Is Gladys in tonight?

Just... I got a missed call

from her. I was just...

No.

Sorry, Greg.

I, uh, sent her home early.

OK. Alright.

Have a good night.

Yeah.

- Hey, I'm sorry, man.

- Yeah.

Wasn't a booty call.

It was a butt dial.

What the hell is he doing?!

Why aren't they coming in?

Greg! Greg!

- Come on, up here!

- Help!

- Help!

- Hello!

Ohh!

Help! Come on, up here!

Help! We're up here!

- Help!

- Gladys?

Greg!

Did she swallow a basketball?

You're pregnant!

Help! There's someone

in the building!

They're holding us hostage!

Oh! Oh, my bum!

- No!

- Oh, my God!

- Inside. Inside!

- I'm hit! I'm hit!

- They shot him!

- Shut the door!

How about I sh**t you in the

butt and see if you like it?!

Snap out of it!

A b*llet in the butt

is hardly lethal.

Where do we go?

This map is useless!

Let's head to the roof.

We can hide in the kangaroo.

Ah! Oh!

You saved me. Thank you!

It's OK. It's OK.

Tell... tell Gladys I love her!

No! You tell her yourself.

I'm applying pressure.

Ahhh!

HQ, this is truck 25. We need

immediate police assistance.

Shots fired at

Harringtons toy store.

I repeat, shots fired!

Oh, my God, Nan! You shot him!

- They're gonna call the cops!

- No.

You shot him when you

screwed this thing up!

- We have to go.

- Yeah?

You gonna bail on me? Again?

I told you there were roadworks

and the lollipop lady

wouldn't wave me through.

You went soft on me

in Smith Street

and you're going soft on me now.

I was 14 years old!

Who makes a teenager

their getaway driver?

Listen, I went away for

a long time because of you.

You wanna make it up to me?

Now's your chance.

You in or you out?

- I'm in.

- Good girl.

Watch these two like hawks.

Nana's in the driver's seat now.

Where are you going?

Huntin'!

More hostages, more cash.

Hey. Hey, you OK?

You OK, Mr Harrington?

The g*ns are real.

What do you mean?

I just... I didn't think

the g*ns would be real.

Quickly!

Gotcha!

- You're mine.

- Run!

Go, save yourselves! Ahh!

Come on, Gladys! Come on!

What are you doing, you idiots?

Never leave a man behind.

Leavin'?

Who said anything about leavin'?

Out of the fire

and into the frying Nan.

Let's go, little mice.

OK.

OK, be gentle!

Mr Harrington?

If you didn't think

their g*ns were real,

why did you help them?

I just... couldn't take a chance.

Found your rats.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Wombat, Brady. Where were you?

Are you two alright?

- Come here.

- We're fine.

- Gladys helped us.

- Gladys.

What are you doing here?

I sent you home.

I was trying to catch

a couple of crims.

Clearly I was after

the wrong ones!

Two kids

and a knocked-up Girl Scout.

We were sweating our t*ts off

for nothin'!

Smile!

Are you kidding?

Do you know what kind of

jail time you'll get

if anything happens

to those kids?

That's one way of looking at it.

Oh!

Showtime!

Hello, yes? Derrick's phone?

Uh, what is going on?

Why are there children there?

And... and who do

you think you are?

Shut it, Richie b*tch.

Payday's just gone up.

We found ourselves

a couple of extra hostages,

so we figure that's

a bit more work for us.

Ransom's gone up.

400K.

Ohhh!

Terri, pay the money

and end this, please!

I ju... I can't!

I... I...

Still can't? Righto!

We'll start with a two-for-one.

- Whoa, whoa! No, let her go!

- Mr Harrington!

You've got three seconds, Terri.

What's going on?

Guys, are you OK?

- Nan, let her go.

- Nan, she's pregnant.

- This has gone far enough!

- Two.

- No! Gladys!

- No, please!

So this is what it means

to die hard.

Derrick! Derrick!

- One.

- Enough!

It's off.

Put the g*n down.

That is an order.

What's off?

The ransom.

Y-you set it up?

That's why you sent us home.

That's why you thought

the g*ns were fake.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

It was not meant

to end like this.

OK?

I tried to keep the place

running. I really did.

I didn't know what to do.

So your solution

was faking a ransom?

Terri, I know you've hated me

since Dad died.

I got scared to ask

for anything.

And then I got desperate.

And it wasn't supposed

to be dangerous.

You weren't even supposed

to be here.

Right? Then you brought

your friggin' Nan.

Derrick.

It's just supposed to be

a win-win.

Shez gets half,

I get the other half.

And then I was gonna

make things right.

Mate, you're about as dense

as a fully packed cone

if you thought we were ever

gonna split halvesies with you.

Well, that was the deal.

We're criminals, Derrick.

And deals, much like

laws and regulations,

don't actually mean

that much to us.

Shez.

Shez!

You were wrong.

I'm not a good person.

Did you get all that, Terri?

Yeah. You'll get your money.

Ace.

So there's a black ute

parked across the road

from your office

and two rather handsome boys

waiting to escort you here.

A black ute?

Nan, you didn't.

Keep on tying, Sherrin.

I wanna be chuggin' a beer

in Bali on Boxing Day.

h*-h*-h*-h*-h*!

It's just a scratch.

Gladys is pregnant?

Why didn't she tell me?

I didn't see that comin'.

Look, if she's chosen somebody

else, that's... that's OK.

I just... We just have to

make sure she's safe, OK?

Good evening, boys.

My name's Constable Karen.

I'll be your negotiator

for the evening.

It's time to save

another Christmas.

You work holidays a lot?

Oh! Diwali, Hanukkah,

King's Birthday.

It's all a nightmare.

But you know what?

Christmas is the bloody worst.

What's the sitch?

Uh, the situation is

at least one armed bandit.

He's only got one arm?

No, she's got two.

Oh! Slay, queen! Yes.

She's holding at least

four hostages.

Two kids, one man...

and a pregnant woman.

Wow! Got ourselves a full house,

don't we?

Alright, I'm gonna go warm up.

Thank you very much.

The personable police officer

patrolled the public park

personally.

The personable police officer

patrolled the public park

personally.

Hey, I don't wanna

scare you, but...

they're screwed.

Here. Shez.

Empty the cash registers.

Is everybody OK?

You know, if we just...

do what they say...

Shut up, Derrick!

What were you thinking?

Risking our lives,

bringing those two in here!

Dinosaurs! Yeah!

It's OK, Mr Harrington.

No, it's not, Wombat.

Don't talk to him.

The debt collectors are gonna

take over this place,

leaving you all high and dry.

At least this way

I could pay off the debts,

I could pay you off.

And I could close it down.

You're gonna close down

the store?

Today was our last day.

What?

You're giving up?

Giving up?

I've tried everything, Gladys.

I just can't run this place

as good as my dad could.

I mortgaged my house,

I worked 24/7,

I've taken out every loan

imaginable.

And I still can't get it right.

And what's worse is

I failed you too.

So, yeah.

I've given up.

Hey? Hey. It's OK.

No, it's not.

Where are we gonna live now?

We can find your dad.

We can get him to come back.

No, he's never coming back.

But... but you said...

I know. I... I was wrong.

You're living here?

I had no idea.

Did you know about this?

Do you know what makes this

store so special, Mr Harrington?

It's not the store

or... or the toys. It's...

It's the people. It's...

It's all of us.

It's all of us together.

Harringtons isn't a store.

It's a... it's a family.

And if you're giving up

on the store,

then you're giving up on us.

We have the money.

Bring the hostages

to the front door

so we can facilitate

the handover.

We have the place surrounded,

so don't try anything funny.

Unless that's part of

your negotiations.

Get 'em up.

Oh!

- Come on.

- Get off me!

OK.

Right, here's the deal.

Derrick goes, gets the money,

my accomplices

drive us out of here,

you guys come in

and save the children,

we're all home

for Christmas lunch.

Got it?

Yes, but how do we know

the hostages are safe?

How do I know the money's

in the bag?!

Oh, yeah. Checkmate.

Alright, deal.

Hi.

Hi.

I-I'm sorry.

Look, I don't hate you.

I know you think I just

left when Dad died, but...

I think I was left out

way before that.

What do you mean?

It's not Harrington & Daughters.

Oh, darling,

did you wet yourself?

Don't worry,

I-I do it all the time.

No, her waters broke!

No, no, no,

I actually wet myself.

It's really embarrassing.

She's got a weapon!

Put your g*n down!

Put it down.

Step away from the preggo.

Right, that's it! Deal's off.

Grab 'em! Everyone inside.

Don't do anything stupid, toots.

You don't do anything stupid.

Ransoms are the stupid thing.

No, no, she needs to get

to a hospital!

Don't... I take it back.

I'm sorry.

- Derrick!

- Let her go!

You can stand down.

Gonna be here all night.

Ohhh, my boss is gonna k*ll me!

Screwed up again, did you, Shez?

Hm! Told you she would.

Hi, Uncle Jacko. Uncle Ricko.

Let her go.

- Wait, what's going on?

- Don't you hurt him!

Hold it open! Help me!

Let go of me! Ow!

Oh, my God, the baby's comin'!

No, no, no, it's just a cramp.

I've been having them all day.

Told you it was Braxton Hicks.

She needs to go to a hospital.

Shut up!

Let's go.

Where? They've got the place

surrounded.

- To the roof!

- What?!

We're taking the kangaroo.

Always have a backup plan, Shez.

A little trick I learned

after Smith Street.

From you, actually.

Come ba...

ahhh...

ack.

Hey, darl, just remember,

if you're not pooing,

you're not pushing.

What?

Let's go!

Shez, now!

Shez!

Gladys, Gladys, are you alright?

Gladys, you need to

take it easy.

What's she doing?

They hurt my Greg!

Oh!

She has the power of two humans!

Shh! Shh!

Yeah, here, here!

Oh!

OK. Here, here.

Wait, where are you going?

I let you down, Terri.

I let everyone down.

And now it's time

to make things right.

You all get out of here.

Derrick, wait!

And you wanted to bail!

Maybe that's not

such a bad thing.

- What did you say?

- Nothing.

Oi!

That's not your money.

And what are you gonna

do about it, Derrick?

You're all alone.

Hey!

Got about 50 more of these over

here if you don't shut up!

- What are you doing?

- We're family!

Or were you not listening?

Alright, lock and load.

Fire!

Shez, gimme your g*n!

Nan!

Nan, wait!

Ow!

He told us

not to bring real g*ns.

Oh, my God, are you blinking

kidding me right now?

Stop!

We'll take the back stairs.

Gladys, stay where you are.

Not on your g*dd*mn life! Ohhh!

Come on, come at me.

- I can take him.

- Are you kidding me?

You can't bring an arm

to a nunchucka fight.

- You got a better idea?

- No. But that one stinks.

You stink.

- Now!

- What?

Arggh! Come on!

What are you gonna do,

hit me with your yo-yo?

It's like I said,

you gotta be gentle, right?

k*ll him!

I don't want to fight.

I'm a lover, not a fighter,

Sherrin.

Stay down!

Ready!

Release!

- Cheers, Grandma!

- Grab it, grab it!

Whoa! Whoa-oh!

- Whoa!

- Oh!

Terri, stand back, I got this.

Terri?

Ugh!

Ow!

Arggh!

Ooh! Ugh!

Now, stay down, crab boy!

Hey!

Let go of my brother.

- I can't get a clean shot.

- Uh-oh!

Wombat, look at me!

What?

Let her rip.

Ugh!

Wombat!

Arggh!

Run!

Uh-oh, Mama,

time for a lie-down.

Oh!

Ahhh!

Nice tactic,

causing that diversion.

Yeah, diversion.

Is that coming from in here?

Is this a ransom or a rave?

We should probably focus.

Nuh? OK.

- Think fast!

- Whoa!

Give me the money.

I could have used

the cricket bat.

Now, get outta here.

Good girl, Shez!

How's this for a getaway car?

Wow!

Ughhh.

Oh!

Sherrin.

Hey, meathead!

Ugh!

Ugh!

I'm so sorry. Am I fired?

Come on!

Good girl!

Give the bag to Nanna!

No.

Shez.

We're family.

Yeah.

But I'm nothing like you.

I'm out.

Hey, come here!

Shez!

Sweetie!

You were never really in.

Shez!

Oh!

Hey!

Nan, she's getting away!

Would you stop dancing?

Please?

Pfff.

Boring!

- Oh!

- I got it!

- Oh!

- Wait, let me, let me!

Let me. Let me. Oh!

Here, here, I got it, here.

Oh, my God!

We need more manpower!

- Oh!

- What are you doing?!

Let's get a wriggle on!

Oh!

h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Hello, Skippy!

Stop!

What are you doing?!

You can't stop me, Derrick!

Derrick!

Just leave it!

I can't!

Damn it!

- No! Don't!

- I'm coming, I'm coming!

You're running out of room!

- Oh!

- Come on!

Hey, let go!

No!

OK, on three.

One, two, three!

Stop it!

Keep going, we've got her!

Arggh!

No, no. It's OK.

Stop her, please!

You can't all come to Bali

with me!

I think she's crowning!

- I've still got pants on!

- What does crowning even mean?

I don't know!

Gladys! Gladys, Gladys, Gladys!

Go back!

- Derrick

- What?

Just let it go.

Derrick, no!

Merry Christmas, chumps!

Oh-h*, we're doing this!

If that's the bad guys

I'm in a lot of trouble.

Merry Christmas!

I'm the Nan of the world!

I'm sorry, everyone.

Are you kidding?

I'm the one

who needs to apologise.

Also, Gladys...

I think you're having a baby.

Yes.

Me too.

Arggh!

We just need to get to the door.

- There's an ambulance outside.

- Ow, my hand.

- No, no. It's coming!

- I'll get the blanket.

- Wombat, you get all them.

- No, stay up, stay up!

Pop her down.

I can't do it.

- I can't do it!

- Snap out of it!

The kid's gonna love you.

Oh! OK, alright, Gladys,

you're gonna need to push.

Oh, no, somebody call Greg!

- Glad-wrap!

- Let's go!

Bali must be there

Oh, it's just got to be there

I never

Never been to Bali

I don't wanna live

in that place...

Must be something to eat

in here.

What's this?

"Greg-Nog."

Oh, yuck!

That was the most beautiful

birth I've ever seen.

Um, are you OK?

- Are you OK?

- Yeah.

I'm OK. Are you?

- You got shot.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

They said it was just a graze,

but the pain, Gladys...

Oh, I can't describe it.

I can't imagine.

Yeah.

Hey, uh...

Oh, sh-sh-sh-sh.

- Shh.

- Congratulations.

Congratulations to you

and... and... and, um...

You, you idiot.

- Me?

- Yeah.

I'm a... I'm a... I'm a dad?

Yeah!

I'm sorry, Greg, I...

I tried to tell you,

but whenever we went to meet up,

I'd see you sitting in the cafe

with a babycino

and I'd just panic.

- Why?

- I was scared.

But recently, I've been given

some great advice

from two very wise people.

I'm... I'm scared too.

- Really?

- Yes, yes.

Maybe we can be scared together.

- Oh!

- Yuck!

Gross!

I knew it. Christmas booty call.

Who are you?

What's a booty call?

Thank you.

For... for what?

We didn't...

we didn't get the money.

For reminding me who I was

when I'd forgotten.

I'm really sorry, Pete.

This should never have happened.

You're an amazing kid.

And an even better brother.

Merry Christmas.

Where are you going?

Hand myself in.

- You're what?

- It's the right thing to do.

No, but no-one knows!

No-one knows anything.

Mr Harrington, we can pin

this whole thing on Nan.

- Oh, Pete.

- Please, come on.

And in the end

she did take the money,

so it kinda was

a real hostage situation.

Yeah, that I planned!

I put us all in danger

and I stole money

from my sister.

- Yeah, that was...

- Then give it back.

Shez.

What are you doing?

Hiding from the cops.

This is for you.

Wha...

I switched it before Nan

pushed me into this pit.

Oh, my God!

Why didn't you keep it?

I don't know.

Didn't feel right.

Never does, actually.

What do you say? We won't say

anything if you don't.

Oi, get away from that woman!

She's the other one, yeah?

No, no, this is...

This is another one

of the hostages.

No, I saw you. You were pushing

around the pregnant one.

I saw you outside.

Yes, she was forced to do that

by Nan.

- Nan!

- And I have a disability.

Do you really think I could

pull off a hostage situation?

Pff! Didn't stop

the Rolling Assassin.

13 murders

and we still can't find him.

Or his wheelchair.

Well, um... well,

she's also my girlfriend.

Pfff! No.

I mean, I didn't realise

we were official yet, babe.

But yeah, I came to surprise him

at work.

You... Him? You're dating him?

You bet.

Him?

Oh. Alright, get a room.

Jeepers creepers.

Well, that story checks out.

Alright, um, we'll get

a statement from you.

Um, uh...

Enjoy your evening.

See you guys later.

'Bye, Sherrin.

Oh!

These two have just told me

that...

So this is Stockholm syndrome?

OK, well, it's my understanding

that these two have been living

here without a guardian.

That's not true.

Yeah, but Pete's our guardian.

Yes, I'm the guardian.

You?

- How old are you, Romeo?

- I'm... nearly...

Actually, they're staying

with me.

I'm the guardian.

Right, OK.

Well, yep.

What?

You know, a brave young man

once told me

Harringtons isn't just

a toy store...

it's a family.

What do I need to sign?

What, for three kids?

A big cheque.

Honestly, that's not really

my department,

but I'll make some calls, yeah.

My God, thank you,

thank you, Mr Harrington.

Hey, it's the least I can do.

Oh, come here, you two.

- Are you alright?

- Yeah, we're great.

You used to be so cute.

What happened?

I inherited a toy store.

You know,

Dad always thought you were

the family genius.

He didn't leave you

out of the store, Terri.

He freed you to do bigger

and better things.

I mean, I never thought

you wanted it.

I wanted what it meant.

There's a reason my first

video game was about a toy shop.

You know, Dad would have wanted

you to make this place your own.

It doesn't have to be

a memorial.

This is yours.

What?!

How?

And so is the store.

If you want it.

Keep it.

- Consider it my buy-in.

- But...

You clearly need

some professional guidance

around here,

or someone who can negotiate,

at the very least.

You know, I could be

a silent partner.

You know what?

I've got a better idea.

Ooh-hoo, Skip.

Look what we've got!

What's this?

Oh, Sherrin, what have you done?

No!

No!

This isn't even the right way

to Bali!

And bob's your uncle -

the toy store was saved.

Ah!

And everything worked out well

in the end.

This one's mine.

Pete, Brady and Wombat's

off-the-grid storeroom

got a makeover.

Merry Christmas!

And became their very own place

to call home.

And it was very close

to Pete's work.

Derrick knew he still had a bit

of making up to do,

so he gave every member

of the Harrington family

their own Christmas surprise.

Oh...

Pete got a promotion

to assistant store manager

and Harringtons' resident Santa.

That's a big one.

And my girl Terri

became a business partner

with her video games centrestage

now that she was finally home.

one, go!

You see, Derrick always thought

that Harringtons

was a magical wonderland

because of the toys

in the store.

But after

that fateful Christmas,

what he realised

was that the magic

really came from the people

that he had around him,

who loved the store

as much as he did.

A dream aloud

So stay there

'Cause I'll be

coming over...

Because it wasn't just a store,

it was a family and it was home.

And once he learnt that, the

place was never empty again.

Look, kid, it's Christmas Eve.

I'm feeling generous,

and that is why I'm gonna let

you off with just a warning.

I don't get it.

Kid, we've been here

for an hour and a half.

- What don't you get?

- I don't know.

Oh, would you, um...

would you be interested in

any of the Greg-Nog?

- He's 10!

- Gross.

- Oh, maybe his parents?

- Uh, not now.

- OK, OK, OK. I gotta go.

- 'Bye, Greginor.

'Bye, little Gladdy!

- Oh, 'bye!

- 'Bye!

- Ahhh!

- Be good for Daddy!

We all make mistakes.

True magic comes from people,

not stealing this stethoscope.

It was for a medical emergency.

It's a toy!

Yo, Gladdo, I caught this kid

stealing a video game.

Oh! Good on you, Shez.

Maybe don't pull her

by the hair, though.

- Can I go now?

- No.

'Cause you clearly haven't

gotten the message.

Alright, sit down and shut up.

Are you ready?

Good, because I'm about to

tell you a story.

Kissing under...

Pete!

He never even got to learn

how to stocktake!

Same thing, but hotter.

Like, cough sexy.

Maybe let's not cough at all.

It's a bit COVID vibe.

Alright.

Ain't good or bad...

I need immediate assistance

in locating me a hot chocky.

I'm just glad...

Yummy.

Oh!

You good?

Yeah.

Is this a ransom, or, like,

a blue light disco?

h*...

Sleepless

Heavenly...

I don't know the words.

Sorry.

- Save yourself!

- Oh, OK. OK.

Save yourself! Go!

Go!

Oh, no, take me too! Come back!

Arggh!

Arggh, that hurts so much!

It's unfair.

Life's unfair.

Your face is unfair.

Like a stranger...

That is a banger.

I'm just sayin'.

- It is pretty catchy.

- It is.

It's a ransom...

Let go of her!

Ohhh!

Tell me a joke...

That song...

Let's toast to all...

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...

Come on, Christmas...

Aroo!

So this is what it means

to die hard.

So this is what

it means to die hard!

So this is what it means

to die hard.

Than to have

A happy Christmas with you

Ooh-hoo-hoo

All our family and friends

A happy Christmas with you

Don't want this story

To end.