Smaylik (2014)

[bunniefuu]

SMILEY

Espresso with chocolate!

No! No chocolate!

Or maybe just regular coffee?

Hold on…

Go ahead. I can tell you know
what you want.

I don't know yet. Maybe I'll order
tea… green tea…

Why tea? You've just ordered
coffee with chocolate?

So is it tea or coffee?

Espresso with nothing to go.

Regular coffee with cream
and sugar.

To go.

- Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS
HERE AND NOW

TATA

Okay. Let's go back to work.

Just a minute!

Hi, Tusya.
I was just about to call you.

Hey, Egor, are you coming by or am I
meeting you at the wedding planner?

What to do you want there?
And why today?

- You just said urgent!
- Of course, it's urgent!

I'm getting on a plane today.

A plane? Where are you going?

Today is Friday!
We discussed this.

Oh, honey, no! Don't you know
that airports are open on Fridays?

- Excuse me?
- That wasn't to you.

- It's force majeure, honey!
- What force majeure?!

What are you talking about?

And where are you?

Honey, where could I be? I'm always
near you, you know that.

Yes, okay! That wasn't for you.

I have to go to Spain for the weekend.
It's business.

Honey, I already told you about this.

Egor, don't try toget out of this.
You're not at the IRS.

I didn't forget anything.
But if you want me to forget all...

- then maybe that's for the best.
- Sweetie, I really have to go to Spain.

What's the big deal? I'll be back
by Monday. You have things to do.

- Excuse me…
- Yes, I got it.

Egor, stop!
Tell me you're joking...

- or I'll cancel everything!
- Tusya… listen...

the crisis is ruining the business,
and we have to do something.

Please leave a message.
The subscriber is unavailable.

- “What are your plans for the weekend?”
- “No plans, just staying in.»

“How about we make plans together?»

At the moment, the subscriber
is unavailable.

“Yes, Where?! When?!

The subscriber is unavailable.

At the moment, the subscriber is…

Flight number 206 from Moscow
has just landed…

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm OK… considering I wasn't planning
on taking a shower in public…

then I guess I'm alright.

I know, but it must feel very refreshing
after a long flight.

Oh really?!
I feel like I'm at the spa.

Okay, come on, help me clean this up.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Clean it!

Hello? Where are you?

In the middle of nowhere!

You didn't come?

I'm here,
and I even took a shower already.

It seems like that's what people
do right off the plane here.

Where are you?
I'm here, but you're late.

Is this you?

This is me.

This is me!

Why aren't you coming out?
Are you scared?

No. I'm coming out.

Hi!

Sorry, I didn't mean to.

You've made a real flashmob. Awesome!

Flattering?

Of course, not.

- Aren't we going to hug?
- Sure.

- Or are you afraid of getting wet?
- No, let's hug.

No, really, you are…

You're the awesome one.
I'm nothing special.

And for the future, unlike you,
I love compliments.

- So... don't be shy.
- Really? Well...

Then you're not just awesome.
You're the best.

- Are you scared?
- Nope.

Hold on tight!

I feel bad for Mom.
She's still young and beautiful.

But she'll never meet someone
like him.

And Dad loved Mom,
and Mom loved Dad.

It was during their entire lives,
since high school time.

He always used to say, “Natasha,
don't be afraid of anything.

There's nothing that I can't
protect my girls from”.

And then he died in this accident...

And now there's no one to protect her.

Me… and Egor, of course.

Dad liked Egor…

Sorry. I'm overloading you.

- I don't know why I'm talking so much.
- I like it.

Go ahead.

I don't know whatl can do, but…

I think I can be…and…will be that way.

What?

Love… forever.

- What are you doing?
- I want to say something. That…

That you just touched my foot.

- No! What?! I would never!
- What do you mean never?

- Those were my legs, not me!
- What do you mean not you?

No, I can't believe it!

You actually just touched my foot
with your leg!

No! – I'm sitting here,
and you seem so serious.

– just bam!…

And gently touched me by the foot under
the table. I didn't get it at first.

I was there, with my mom and dad.

And then I thought,
"Why can't I concentrate?!"

Okay, yes, yes...

I touched you, I did… huh...

What, I can't even touch you?

I wasn't trying to offend you.

You just said it was gently.

Hey, do you like to break it down?

Go ahead, crush it all.

You aren't like Johnny Depp.
I love him!

Johnny Depp? You better watch it.
I'm a jealous man.

That tickles!

Fine, you're not Johnny Depp,
But I'm Scarlett Johansson!

Are you ticklish? Being ticklish
is a sign of jealousy.

We have a lot in common.

Hello?

Hello, honey, what's up?

Why didn't you answer
your phone all evening?

I can't function normally
when you don't answer my call.

It worries me.

- Are you pissed off?
- No.

I'll call you later. Okay?

Let's sleep some more.

Sure.

Are you upset?

No, I don't think so.

Do you know why?

No, I don't.

I don't know anything about you.
But I want to!

- What?
- To know.

I want to know everything about you!

That's mine.

- But…
- Your ringtone is shorter.

That's my phone.

I told you, we have a lot in common.

Hello?
I heard you changed your address?

Pasha, hurry up – what do you need?

Spit it out.

Professor, I'm not asking
what you've been doing all night.

Kir, we're supposed to be getting ready.

Or is there a change of plans?

Pasha, I'll call you back.

So?

I completely forgot.

It totally flew out of my mind.

Tomorrow is our action.
We wanna get together at my place.

- And what changed?
- Everything.

Everything changed.

I don't think anything's changed.
Go ahead and get together.

Call him in here.

I need to tell you something.

- Call him!
- Who?

Pasha, or whatever his name is?

You're so beautiful.

I can't even looking at you.

Your flattering?

No, it's the truth!

You're great!

- Yours?
- No, not mine.

- Mine?!
- Yours!

- Tata, are you alright?
- I'm sleeping!

- With whom?
- With no one.

Although I'm entitled to
my own privacy.

Right before your wedding?
I'm not so sure.

They called from your office. They wanted
to move your car in the parking lot.

But you took your car keys…

Tata, all I want to know is
that you're keeping it together...

you're not spending time
with strangers...

you're not speeding
in your car...

and not doing anything
to regret later!

That's reasonable enough.

I'm doing anything wrong.

I'll explain it all to you later.
I love you! Bye!

Bye.

That was Mom.

She's afraid that some thing
may happen to me…

Pasha!

Hello?

Pasha, listen to me!

Hotel “Europe”...

Room 55. Get here fast!

Good morning. I want to order
room service.

Two orders of breakfast!

Why are you shouting?

Fine, then three lunches.

Yes, I'm starving.

They're yellingas if we're
in the middle of nowhere.

Have I told you today,
"You're very beautiful?"

I think you have…

- Well?
- You definitely have.

You know, people should learn...

to use second-hand things.

And that shouldn't be embarrassing...

nor should it be linked to
the lack of money. It should be... cool!

People should be conscious
of recycling their garbage.

But as long as people keep
consuming without thinking...

they can"t understand
the need for recycling and reusing.

Very soon we'll be surrounded by waste.

- Let me help you.
- Okay.

Listen.

I need telling you
some very important thing.

- Quiet...
- Look…

- Housekeeping?
- What?

I'm asking, "Do you need housekeeping?"

I put up the “Do Not Disturb" sign.
Isn't that enough?

Or should I put an ad
in the local paper?

Just look at them, «Do not disturb»!

When people have some rest...

It's okay. Let's keep going.

Yelling like crazy,
how I'd suppose to know not to disturb?

I told them not to disturb,
and they're bothering us.

Listen, I really need to tell you
something important.

Only it is actually important.

Wait a second!

I told you not to bother us.
People are relaxing!

How am I supposed to get
the message across?

I'm sorry!

Birds?

Don't be afraid of anything!

Why are they so loud?

I don't know… They're going south…

Clean city! Here and now!

Clean city! Here and now!

- Clean city is our dream!
- Clean city is our dream!

Dreams come true!

People, be happy!

- Yes, Egor?
- Honey, are you ok? Where are you?

This is driving me crazy! I can't work!
What is this all about?

Everything's fine. I'm in another
city. Everything is OK!

Stop it! What's all that noise
over there? Got you stoned?

Where are you?
I'm coming to get you out of there!

Come on, buddy, go back
to the airport!

You don't need to rescue
me from anywhere…

- Tata!
- So no need to come here!

What?

I'm telling you not to rescue me!

- I decided…
- I don't get it!

The wedding is off!

What did you say?!

“I love you!”

Love and happiness to all!

Dreams come true!

“Slavic Express”

NADEZHDA

“Are you okay?”

Okay.

Sit!

The dog, not you.

Your documents?
Where are you heading?

You look scared.
What are you so afraid of?

Your documents, please!

So you're going to your
final destination?

What is the purpose of your trip?
Business?

No, why? I'm going to meet my bride.

No wonder you look so pale.

Well, go on and don't be afraid.

Have a nice trip!
Our women don't bite.

Dear Anna, I would like
to meet you.

My name is Paul.

I'm a Russian-speaking doctor
living in California.

I've attached a photo of me...
I look forward to your reply.

I am forty…

I am forty-five.

“Love, Sex and Friendship”

A manual for avoiding
ten psychological traps.

This book discusses in detail...

ten basic inner and external
psychological traps.

People, prone to getting
into inner psychological traps...

easily become the victims...

of psychological manipulators...

because every external psychological
trap is based on the fact...

that a person gets into a type
of inner psychological trap.

Our manual presents...

a series of counter-actions
one should take...

in order to avoid getting into
a trap or to find a way out of one.

What's wrong with you?
Why are you so scared?

Nobody's trying to harm you.
It's just the opposite.

Do whatever you want.
It's totally up to you.

Excuse me?

Maybe you're hungry?
Or do you want a drink?

No, no, I don't eat past 8 p.m.

In fact, I don't...

“Are you OK?” “Yes" Cool!
Waiting for you.”

Excuse me, I need to make an urgent call.

Oh, for God's sake!

Careful.

Mom!

Mom, I'm here!

Misha's here.

Wait!

Anna?

- Hi.
- How are you?

I'm here to meet you.
How was your trip?

Thank you. Everything was great.

Oh, thank God!
My mom and I were worried.

She says anything can
happen on a train…

Why are we hanging around here?

You must be tired.

You need to get some rest
after such a long trip.

Why are we being so formal? We were
on closer terms, weren't we?

That was online.
It's different there, easier…

My mom says you should be polite
when first meeting someone.

- First you have toget to know a person.
- Right.

How old are you?

I'm already turned 18.

I just... look younger.

- Why?
- Oh no reason.

Everything is okay. Let's go.

What am I doing here?!
She's just a child!

I could have had a daughter her age.

If I didn't work so much.

And what to do in this hole
for the next two days?

This is insane!
Those damn matchmaking websites!

I'm such an idiot to think
I could find a wife online.

I have to get out of here ASAP...

before the weather gets nasty.

I don't know about you,
but I'm starving.

I've been hungry since yesterday!
Is this a real Pie Shop?

I can eat ten patties... at once.

- I'm starving, too.
- Let's go.

Hi! Can we please order ten patties?

What are they with?
- Why order if you don't know what you want?

Your daddy's funny.
Funny and handsome.

Well, sweetie, what are you ordering?

With meat, potatoes, cabbage...

mushrooms… And you had some
with jam - ...

two of each.

Two coffees with cream.

- Is it okay that I ordered so many?
- That's perfect.

Keep the change.

Eat, sweetie. You're too skinny.
You look sick.

Do you live without your mama?

With mama. But our mama
is slaving away at two jobs.

Please.

Thank you.

Oh, don't tell me about him, …

He is to blame that I'm sad,

That I stopped believing people!

That my heart is alone...

And I'm tired to keep living.

Oh, don't tell me about him...

Don't tell me about him…

Why don't you respond to your texts?
Don't be shy to do it in front of me.

No, why? I answer when it's important.

But these are no big deal.

In grief, I forgot to sleep...

I don't blame him.

So please tell me about him.

Everyone tell me all about him.

Oh, beamer! Super wheels!

- What kind of car do you have?
- Same on in a different color.

Hi. Where could I check
my email around here?

Or do I have to go back to Moscow
for that?

No, you can do it right here,
at the telegraph office.

Sometimes their desktops freeze up,
then there's no service.

Young man, I recommend
that you drive more safely.

Especially in residential areas.

Your manner of driving
is dangerous to pedestrians.

Hey girl, tell your dad
that he should take a chill pill.

And take you ona rollercoaster ride.

They're cool and safe!

Damn it!
What's up with all the drivers over here?

Oh sh*t!

Sorry. It's no big deal.
I can wash it at home for you.

We have a brand new washing machine.

It's okay. It's just clothes.

- No, it's not okay. You're aguest here.
- Let's go.

Hi.

Hello.

Can I have please my room key?

I need to change as soon as possible.

We've been expecting you.

Cash only and your passport, please.

Oh God, where did you get…

so dirty?
- I don't know. It's a clean and beautiful town.

Call me if you need anything.

Go sit over there, little
girland wait for your uncle.

Thank you.

- I'll be right back!
- No problem. Everything is super!

I'll hang around here.

What are you starting at?

- Who is it?
- I was just thinking…

maybe you need your clothes washed?

Just let me know – I do
the laundry very well.

And my cooking is great, too.

- I can tell that you're alone!
- Thank you for your offering!

I don't need anything for right now.

Why do you text me all the time?
I already told you that...

I don't care about anything.

What's the point of seeing each other
and hashing this over again?

Stop bugging me!

Do I leave the key here,
or should I take it with me?

Well, people don't really steal
around here. I mean…

can, of course, but not very often.

Give me your key, and I'll take care
of everything. Don't worry.

Thank you.

I can't talk anymore! Bye.

- Is something wrong?
- No, nothing!

- Everything is super!
- Are you sure?

Yes! Super!

- What's the deal with your Internet?
- What do you mean?

We have Internet. You can use it 24 hours
a day at the telegraph office!

Don't you worry about anything. Come
back and you'll get a great rest here!

Come on. I'll walk you home.

Oh, why?!

I thought you'd come over to our place.
Mom cooked dinner.

I thought we'd have a good time!

You've come such a long way…

Let's go. I'll take you home.

And then come back to the hotel.
I am actually really tired.

Let's go.

What did you crawl out for?

My goodness!

You don't like me at all.

No, that's not the point. Everything's
fine. I'm just a little tired.

We'll go somewhere… tomorrow.

We could get to know each other
like normal people …

You'd meet my mom…

I'll meet your mother… tomorrow.

And in the evening,
I'll go back to Moscow.

And then catch my flight home.

You think I'm clueless or something?

I saw it all at the station.
You just didn't like me.

And don't feel bad for us!

My mom is right.
Why do all of you keep coming here?

- Are we here?
- Yes.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings. You're a nice girl.

You have a bright future ahead of you.

Go home for now.

Central City Library

Ma'am! Why are you falling?!

Can't you see she doesn't feel well!

Guys, why are you just standing there?

What happened?

- Is anyone a doctor?
- What happened?

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

- Driver, stop!
- Don't you hear me?! Stop!

- This woman is dying!
- Is there a doctor?

Idiot, go ahead and k*ll us all.

The bus stops here.
Get off, everyone.

- Excuse me, can I help you in any way?
- Yes, you can if you leave with everyone!

- What's her pulse? I'm a doctor.
- I can't feel the pulse.

Try to keep the crowd back. And open
the sunroof. She needs fresh air.

Get off! Get off the bus.

Hello? It's Dr. Marchenko
from Hospital 13.

Send an ambulance to the corner
of Lenin and Marx!

A woman, about 70 y.o. I suspect
a heart attack. Her condition is critical.

Thank you for your help.
By the way, I'm Nadezhda.

No need to thank me.

Nadezhda!
What a beautiful name!

- And I'm Pavel.
- Pavel?

A beautiful name, too…
Such a masculine name.

Nadya… Nadezhda!

May I walk you home?
I can't leave you here alone…

It's alright. I live nearby.

And where is your way?
To the train station?

Yes... yes.

It got chilly all of a sudden,
or is it just me?

- Put this on, maybe it'll warm you up.
- Oh, no!

I'll run home and warm up.

The weather is changing.

- The weather is wonderful.
- Yes.

And the town is wonderful!

Well, this is home.

Unfortunately, I can't invite you up
for a cup of tea.

We have a guest today –
my daughter's fiancé is here.

But maybe…

Some other time!

Oh, you're probably here on
a business trip?

Or why even wait for next time?

Come on. I'm inviting you in.

The light is on, so that means that
they're not in bed yet.

We'll meet the fiancé together.

Honestly, I don't get this guy.

He is an old man, and my
daughter is just a young girl.

Some stupid Internet matchmaking thing.

- I know.
- What?

It's completely ridiculous! It's nonsense!
- Sure, nonsense!

What can I do to fix this?

When I saw her this
morning at the station,

I thought: why am I even here?
And I decided to leave right away!

She's a lovely girl, but what
do I have to do with it?

Why am I here?
What did I want to find?

Why am I telling you all of this?

I'm sorry…

I'm very tired…
I have to go home…

Have a good trip.

Nadya!

Oh God, wait…

- Mommy!
- Yes?

What?

What is it, Anyuta?

I have a surprise for you!

Oh! My goodness!

- How did you manage this?
- Sasha did it.

He's crazy about photography.

How sweet!

I love it!
Let's put it here.

Okay.

- Thank you.
- You're so cool, mom!

My baby.

Go get it.

I know why I'm here.

And I know what I wanted
to find here.

What…?

“I love you”

“Asya, this is my 1,820th text in
4 years, 11 months, and 25 days.”

"Still working by your lonesome?
Get over here»

«ASYA'S NEST»

VLADIK.

- Yes? Hello?
- Vlad?

- Your car has arrived.
- Great. I'm on my way.

What's the hold up? Get over here!

- Who are these passengers, commander?
- Our accounting department.

We're getting ready for Halloween!

- Isn't it too early?
- We need to do get prepared.

We have a quick turnover,
keeping the same sizes.

We're planning a real event
for our customers!

After all, we're in an economic crisis!

I'm leaving today. I'll be there
tomorrow with new wheels.

Vladik! Vladik!

Vladik! Vladik!

“Asya + Vladik.”

Vladik!

What?

You're stuck on the phone?
What, you don't get it yet?

I told you that she'd dump you,
without thinking twice.

And you'll ruin your life thanks to her.

She was dancing with another guy at prom.

Wasn't that enough for you?

Stop chasing her!

Hello? Why don't you say something?
I know it's you!

Listen, I told you already. Either marry
me, or don't call me anymore.

You can't be such a fool!

Wait!

Please wait!

I need time to think…

About how it's going to be… I…

Well?

Why aren't you saying something?
He's going to marry her.

First, he need to pass his exams.
Then we'll deal with it.

I'll do everything.
Just wait! Please!

What is it? Is she pregnant?

Come on, say something.

- He's planning on getting married!
- Please don't yell.

We won't be able to deal with it later.
Can be too late.

Oh God, she's pregnant!

Why can't I ever find a pencil
in the kitchen?

Where do they all go?
Are you eating themor something?

I don't know anything about your pencils.

But I do know that your son
is getting married.

- Because that sl*t is pregnant!
- Why do you think she's pregnant?

I married you when you were pregnant, too.

Katya, find me a pencil for
my crossword puzzle.

Over my dead body!
You hear?

I won't allow that sl*t
to ruin your life!

Calm her down! Tell her that
I'm not pregnant.

And you can think as long as
you like. It won't change anything.

And never call me again!
You hear? I'm leaving.

Wait, please…

I promise…

What's going on?

I forgot that word while you
two were whispering.

Vladislav Yuryev!

Vladislav Yuryev!

Yuryev!

Yuryev, come in, please.

State you first and last name,
and the title of the piece.

Yuryev. Vladislav Yuryev.

Shevelev. «Love Fantasy.»

Please.

Calm down, please,
and start from the beginning.

Begin.

I can't!

I'm sorry, I…

I'm sorry! I can't!

Vladik!!!

“No service.”

I need service.

I'll call you back. I have customers.

When?
When I have the time!

Mister, are you looking for someone?

- Yes.
- Who?

- A connection!
- What a joke! A connection!

Well, you have to pay for it...

but I'll give it to you for free.

A bonus.

Great! I owe you.

“I came back to my parents. What about you?

Reply by mail to...

Apt. 25, 40 Kirova St., Svetloyar,
Russia Here's no the Internet."

Mister, where are you running off to?

City Hospital

Where?

Mom.

Look who's here.

Dad, this is Vladislav.

We haven't seen each other in
a long time, but you must remember him.

So why are you here now?

- Asya…
- What?

What? You finally thought it through?

Yes, I did.

Mom, look at how thin he looks!

He must have not eaten anything since...

my birthday party
seven years ago.

Lanochka, let's go.

Let's run to the store.

We wanted to buy something yummy…

Let's throw a little party
with a good dinner.

Good to see you, Vladik.

I'm glad you decided to come.

Come on, we have to drop
stop by home, too.

We haven't been there for 24H for now.

Hi!

Hi!

How are you?

- Are you in pain?
- No.

Not anymore.

And you?

Where did you come from?

And what are we going to do now?

We're going to get married.

You're such a fool.

Let's go.

Let me carry it.

Let's go.

- Yep, this one.
- Yeah.

But you haven't seen these pics.

Hold on… here.

Is that the same one?

I bought it.

I thought you'd have to show up one day.

And it would be the perfect surprise.

A little something special.

Do you think it'll grow?

Sure, it will.
Hair isn't teeth. It'll grow!

You know, it looks good on you. Seriously.

- You know what you look like?
- What?

An alien.

- Want me to shave my head, too?
- I do.

I don't know how we will get to Moscow

in your spaceship,
but I'll try not to let your car down.

I don't doubt it. How many vehicles
have you driven in your life?

Right. I used to drive
a tractor and even a tank.

Don't worry about me.

Just bring your bride to Moscow
on this train... in safety.

Well, commander in chief, may I
begin the mission?

You may!

Come here.

Let's go.

My sweetheart!

Mommy, safe journey!

I love you, baby!

Goodbye! Goodbye!

See you soon!

See you!

I'll call you.

I already miss you!

I'm dying!

Come back soon!

- Wait!
- Where are you going?

Where?
You wanna get under the train?

- I need to. Sorry.
- You wanna die?

“I can't live without you.”

Excuse me.

I love you!