03x08 - The Great Brain Robbery

[bunniefuu]

Brainiac, you're in there.

I can almost feel you.

Abasing myself before Grodd,

then running this
unwieldy super-g*ng.

It's all been worth
it if I can just free

the only piece of
you that remains.

Lex, don't talk to the rock.

Stay out of this, witch.

It makes no sense.

The smallest scrap of Brainiac

should be sufficient
to reconstitute him.

Don't worry, darling.
I'm sure it will be...

Unless Grodd is
somehow preventing it.

What do you want, Luthor?

How do I unlock
the Brainiac code?

You're a genius, figure it out.

Tell me, you
leering, manipulative,

knuckle-dragger, or I'll...

Lex, Lex.

You can't expect me to give
up my only bargaining chip.

What's in it for me?

When this is over,

I'm going to sell your
body for dog meat.

It must pain you
to see me like this,

after what we've
been to one another.

My taste in boyfriends
has evolved.

Wait, Lex.

You're the leader now.

You don't need to
lock horns with him.

The only thing that matters now

is a speck of information
locked somewhere deep inside

Grodd's thick skull.

Yes, okay.

So we break his
head open and take it.

We don't think you've
got what it takes

to run the show. You've
been acting unbalanced,

holed up in that lab,
talking to yourself.

After Grodd tried to
turn the world into apes,

you can imagine how seriously
we'd take something like that.

What are you going to
do, make everybody bald?

Maybe it's time for
younger, smarter,

more aggressive leadership.

Really? Yeah.

Why should any of us follow you?

Because I'll show you how to
make more money in one day

than you've made
in your entire lives.

Look, we know Grodd's running
some kind of organized group.

I'm tired of just
putting out fires.

We need to find his
new secret society

and take the fight to them.

Guys, I'm not arguing that.

There's just gotta
be another way.

This is it. When
Grodd took control

of your mind a
couple of years ago,

even though that
connection was broken,

he left a psychic resonance.

I can mystically access that
resonance and trace it to Grodd,

wherever he hides.

And when we do find Grodd,

we'll likely find
Luthor, Bizarro,

and any number
of wanted criminals.

No doubt, but I
don't like strangers

nosing around in my
brain. No offense, doc.

I assure you,

I won't be reading
your thoughts.

Your mind is simply a portal.

This really seems like
it's more up J'onn's alley.

J'onn's not here. Whoa!

What do you say we
go check with Batman?

He's got clues.

You saw Batman's report.

Grodd covered all of his tracks.

We need to find him before
he hurts anyone else, Flash.

This may be our only sh*t.

Man!

Just be careful with my head.

It's where I keep
all my one-liners.

Show me the mind
of Gorilla Grodd.

You see how much I've learned

from your mind-control
technology.

Of course, I don't have your
natural talent for the work,

so my process
is relatively crude.

Last chance.

Tell me what I want to know

or I'll tear the information
from your bleeding frontal lobe.

You're a technological cretin.

A sadistic child
playing with power tools.

Do it.

My spell has
already found a trace

of Grodd's mental signature.

It should be a simple matter
to follow it back to the source.

Ah!

Wally. No. Something's wrong.

That's not Flash's mind.

It's Lex Luthor.

What?

What have you done to me?

That's Luthor.

Beam me out of here

or I'm going to
vibrate these fingers

and scramble your brains.

Do as he says.

We can't let Luthor get
away with Flash's body.

He'll be unstoppable.

Yeah, I know.

If Luthor's mind
is in Flash's body,

where's Flash?

Lex?

Whoa.

You guys just stay back.

Hey, what happened to my voice?

He's cooked his own brain.

Ah!

Okay, something's
really wrong here.

Lex, you don't look at all well.

Yeah.

I'm just a little wind...
Did you say, "Lex"?

Psycho.

Attention, all decks.

This is a station-wide alert.

Lex Luthor has
control of Flash's body.

Contain him at any cost. Use
whatever force is necessary.

I don't want him hurt.

That's not the problem.

I've tracked Flash's
comm-link and ID badge.

Looks like he's hiding
in a storage room.

Come on.

Just you and Fate.

There's something
weird about this.

Fine.

Yeah. It was a trick.

It figures. I've
sent extra muscle

to the backup teleport pads, GL.

You and Red Tornado
cover the Javelin bay.

I must sequester myself

and compile a new spell
to reverse this mind switch.

Lex.

Uh, how's it going?

My darling, this is no
time to show weakness.

The wolf is at the door.

Uh-huh.

Dr. Polaris is this
far from open revolt.

He's treacherous.

I want to punish him,
baby, so very badly.

Right. Sure.

Uh, just one question.
Do I know you?

You need to rest.

You need to stop
following me around

so I can think for a second.

Okay, okay. I'm trapped in a
building full of supervillains,

I've lost my powers
and, for some reason,

this creepy hot
chick thinks I'm...

Lex Luthor.

Oh, that is just wrong.

Cripes. This is life-or-death.
I'd better call for backup.

Ow!

Duh!

Lex, you all right?

I'm fine.

No service. Man.

Are we doing this or what?

I told him you want to be alone.

We're supposed to be
going over your big plan.

We are still pulling
the job, right?

Or was the whole
thing just a bluff?

Huh?

I mean, right. The big plan.

I'm all over the big plan.

So let's go do that.

What?

You gonna wash your hands?

No. 'Cause I'm evil.

Give it up, Luthor.

Get down!

His vibrations create
an unstable resonance.

Which is why the
real Flash doesn't do it.

Luthor, the bay's locked down.

Those doors won't open.

Just watch.

The weapons won't fire
inside the Javelin bay.

It's a safety feature.

Wonderful.

Continue, GL. I
can counter this.

Talk to the crew, Lex.

You remind them who's boss.

We're waiting, Luthor.

My fellow bad guys.

I, Lex Luthor, your leader,

will speak now about my...

Lex Luthor's plan.

My villainous, villainous plan.

Question the plan at your peril.

Uh...

Any questions?

We all get a cut, right?

Watch your step, my evil minion.

You presume too much.

One of these days,
you'll go too far.

Me got answer.

Excellent.

Do enlighten us.

Ever since you plug
into monkey's head,

you act perfectly
sane and rational.

Am you Bizarro's mommy?

What's his problem?

Oh... Come on!

Wait, I got it.

You, uh, evil head guy.

Yeah?

Tell me your part in this plan.

I don't have a
part in this plan.

Exactly. Pop quiz.

Everyone tell me
their part in the plan.

Well, here's the way you
gave it to us, this morning.

The recently reunited country
of Kasnia has gone democratic

and is joining the
European Union.

As such, they're
switching their currency

from Kasnian crowns to euros.

In a few hours, nearly 100
million newly minted euros

are being brought in
to the Kasnian treasury.

So while Dr. Polaris
and Sinestro

take the point, darling,

you and I are in a
transport nearby.

It's a simple smash-and-grab.

It's also gonna be the largest
single robbery in history.

Whoa.

I mean, Lex Luthor is pleased.

Carry on.

Really, he's in terrific shape.

He only needs a little
downtime before heist.

Rest in here, darling.

Hey, that's not restful.

Lex, you're having
a difficult day.

Hm, if nothing else,

I can at least learn the
Flash's secret identity.

I have no idea who this is.

Baby, you are so different.

So attentive.

So caring.

So enthusiastic.

Uh...

I like it.

Hey, communications room.

I need to make a quick
call. Won't be a moment.

The transport's fueled.

Come on, Luthor. Before
they move the money.

Mr. Luthor, sir?

It's Grodd.

He's recovered, and
he wants to talk to you.

Man, what now?

Can you wait outside?

You'd better not be
wasting Luthor's time, Grodd.

What is it?

I just had to see it for myself

Flash.

Me? The Flash?

You've, like,
totally lost it, Grodd.

I'm Lex Luthor.

And I'm Charlton Heston.

Dolt!

My brain was in the circuit

when you and
Luthor traded minds.

Okay, look.

Luthor's got you in
a cage like a lab rat.

He's humiliated
you. You hate him.

And you could help me see
to it he never comes back.

Dude, help me out here.

True, I do hate Luthor.

But I hate you just as much.

So you gonna bust me or what?

Where's the fun in that?

I'm going to watch
you twist in the wind

until you're discovered

and they tear
you limb from limb.

Lex, we really have to go.

Ah, Tala, my old groupie.

I so miss bending
you to my will.

Go eat a banana.

Lex is my man now.

If you say so.

I have devised a spell

to exchange Luthor
and Flash's minds again.

But to properly execute it, I
must have physical contact

with at least one of them.

They've got the fake Flash

cornered in the cafeteria.

Go get him, Fate.

There's our target.

Luthor, we're
waiting for your order.

Go.

Ha! Sitting ducks.

We're behind schedule.

A little help?

Don't worry, guys.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.

Unless you try something.

Sir, headquarters is forwarding
a priority radio message.

Attention, the man
you think is Luthor

is actually a Justice
Leaguer disguised as me.

Repeat, he is not Luthor.

I, Lex Luthor, find
that preposterous.

Tell you what. Why
don't you humor us

and tell me something Luthor
would know and a spy wouldn't?

What's my real name?

Priority override,
user code 0-0-6...

Ow!

We'd better hurry
and finish loading.

It won't take the league
long to track that transmission.

Flash. Flash, come in.

Metro-Tower.

What can we do
for you, Mr. Terrific?

Send a team to the
following coordinates.

He did it again. It's a decoy.

Why would he even bother?

He's on the bridge. He's...

Picking up traces of
Hard Light radiation,

but it's pretty faint.

Allow me.

Tala, open a portal.

Forget the money.

Teleportation control online.

Artificial gravity off.

Speed's no good without gravity.

That's where you're wrong.

Artificial gravity on.

Dr. Fate, your patient
just anesthetized himself.

Guys, I was starting to
think I was gonna go out

as the bottom of a
supervillain dog pile.

It sounds like Wally, but is
there any way to be sure?

You want proof?

Until he went off
in the Marines,

GL's nickname was...

Stop!

It's him. And you promised
never to repeat that story.

I know, I was just
messing with your head.

Well, can you tell us anything
about Grodd's secret society?

Where's their headquarters?

I don't know. In a swamp?

You're making a big mistake.

Gotta be the Martian.

I say we t*rture him until
he reverts to his true form.

It's me, Luthor.

Dr. Fate switched my
mind, but I'm back now.

It may be true.

That doesn't matter. I'm
running things from now on.

Oh, don't kid yourself, Polaris.

Whether you're just a
look-alike or the real thing,

I'd hate to be you about now.

That's how you know I'm Luthor.

When I augmented your powers,

I also made sure I can
override your abilities.

Would anyone
else care to try me?

Lex, is that really you?

Of course it's me, you twit.

Aw.