01x04 - Is That My Boy?

[bunniefuu]

Rudy:
Vanessa!

Vanessa!

(Angrily)
Vanessa!

Vanessa:
Mom, Tell Rudy
To Stop Saying My Name!

Cliff?

She Said, "Mom," Dear,
Not "Dad."

That's Why They Have
Different Names For Us--

So They Can Get Who They Want.

But I'm Doing Our Books.

I'll Do Them.

You? You Hate Doing Books.

When I See The Joy You Get
From Doing Them

I Want To Do Books, Too.

Vanessa!

Vanessa:
Mom!

♪ Clair. ♪

Cliff.

Should I Destroy
Them Now?

Do Something.

Rudy?!

Yes?!

This Is Your Father Talking.

Get Down On
Your Hands And Knees.

Now Put Your Ear To The Floor.

Can You Hear Me?

Rudy:
Yes!

All Right. I'm Going
To Say This Only One Time:

Stop It!

The Secret To Handling Rudy
Is Just Ignore Her.

After That,
Your Life Becomes Free.

Spoken Like A Person
With No Children.

Listen.

Cliff:
Hmm?

It's Quiet.

Dad Has Spoken.

There Will Be Peace
In The Valley.

Rudy:
Vanessa!

Vanessa:
Mom!

Dad's Off The Couch.

He's Moving In...

Look Out!

Daa!

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!

Now Where
Are You Going?

To The Bathroom.

I Don't Think You Have To Go.

What If You're Wrong?

Then The Three Of Us Will
Soon Find Out, Won't We?

You Are Bothering
The Princess Vanessa

Aren't You?

No, Daddy.

Is It Your Voice That I Hear
That's Saying, "Vanessa"?

Yes.

Is It Your Throat

That's Allowing Your Voice
To Say, "Vanessa"?

Yes.

Is It Your Brain
That Tells Your Throat

To Let The Voice Say, "Vanessa"?

Yes.

Then You Are
Bothering Vanessa.

No, She's Bothering Me.

How?

By Not Answering
When I Say, "Vanessa."

I'm Trying To
Do My Homework

And She's
Bothering Me.

I Understand That.

I'm Going To
Separate You Two

And You'll Have The Room
To Yourself.

Do You Understand?

Okay?

Okay.

Now, Listen.

You Know You Love To Play
In Mom And Dad's Room.

Dad's Got
A Biggie
For You.

You Can Play In Our Room

Until Dad
Comes To Get You, Okay?

Oh, Boy!

Hey!

Hi, Mom.

Hey, Dad.

Hey! What Time
Does School Let Out?

: .

Cliff:
Hey!

What Time Is It?

: .

Hey.

Want To Talk About
Two Missing Hours?

I've Been Going
To Football Tryouts.

Today I Found Out
I Made The Team.

See,
Look--

Here's Some
Of Our Plays.

Me And The Guys Decided To Go
For Football And Goof Around.

But The First Day,
Sammy And Mouth Got Cut.

The Next Day, Joel
And Cockroach Got Bounced.

Who?

Cockroach.

I Figured I'd Be Next,
So I Didn't Tell You.

But They
Never Cut Me.

They Kept Me.
I'm On The Team.

Get Out Of Here.

Really!

It's The
"Thirty-One Sweep."

I Ran This
In College.

Back When They
Didn't Wear Face Masks.

Is That What Happened
To Your Nose?

(Giggle)

A Small Price To Pay
For A First Down.

It's Okay
If I Play?

This Won't Interfere
With Schoolwork?

Mom, I'm Going To Work
Real Hard... At Everything.

All Right.

You'd Better
Do Your Homework.

Right, Dad.
No Problem.

Happy?

My Boy.

My... Son.

Football.

Football.

My Son. My Boy.

In The Stands:

"Is That Your Son?"

"Yes, That's My Boy."

"Is He The One Running Down
The Field For The Touchdown

With The Name Huxtable
On The Back?"

"That's My Son.

"I Would Have Done It Myself,
But I'm Too Old Now

So I Passed The Business
On To Him."

Huxtable And Son.

Yes,
Indeed.

Go To Dinners:

"And The Athlete Of The
Century: Young Huxtable.

"Sitting Next To Him Was
The Athlete Of The Old Century

Old Huxtable."

My Son.

I'm Telling You,
My Prayers Have Been Answered

And The Circle
Will Not Be Broken.

This May
Be Impossible

But Do You Think
You Can Calm Down?

Calm? Sure. Perfectly Calm.

Cliff, Your Eyes Are Dancing.

Are They?

Mm-Hmm.

Let Me See.

They Are.

Yes, They Are.

They Are Dancing!

Sit Down.

No. Do Me A Favor.

Say It Again.

I Want To
See Them Dance.

Say It!

Football.

There They Go!

Okay, Now,
Who Is This?

You. Again.

Well, At Least
You Could Look...

You Know. All Right

Here We Go:
The Groverton
Game. .

Backfield Of
Harry Jefferson

Don Consul, Toby
Wilson And Me.

We Are Down
By Six Points

, People
In The Stands

Three Seconds
Left To Go

Our Ball On
Their Two-Yard Line

And Who
Did They Go To?

Toby Wilson.

Right! And We Lost!

Should Have Gone To You.

That's Right.

When We Went
To The Class Reunion

People Didn't Say

"How You Doing?
You Look Wonderful."

First Thing Out Of
Their Mouths Was

"They Should Have
Gone To You."

For The Past
Two Hours

It's Been
Football Non-Stop.

Theo's Half Mine.

I Might Have Plans For Him.

Like What?

Like Follow In My Footsteps
And Become A Lawyer.

No Better Way To Prepare
For Law Than Football.

Wait A Minute. Time Out.

What I'm Saying Is
Like Me In Med School.

Now, Final Exams

People Are Running

Up And Down The Hallway

Jumping Out Of Windows,
Setting Themselves On Fire

"Oh, My Goodness, I Don't Know
What I'm Going To Do."

Me, I'm Dancing In The Hallways

Saying, "Pour It On.
Give Me Tougher Exams.

What? Is This The Best
You Can Hand Me?"

People
Said

"You're Not Scared?"

I Said, "No."

They Said, "Why?"

I Said, "Football."

I Read An Article
About Teenage Boys And Football.

Know What They Said
Their Biggest Problem Is?

Naughty Cheerleaders On The Bus.

Fathers.

Look, I Am Not Going
To Put Pressure On The Boy.

If He's Good, Great.

If He's Bad...

But If He Quits, He's Dead.

Dad.

My Boy.

Can You Give Me Some
Football Pointers?

Son, I'll Be Happy
To Teach You All I Know.

Cliff.

Of Course,
It's Been A Long Time.

After Dinner.

About The Game
Of Football.

Is Rudy Coming?

I Haven't Seen Her.

I Forgot. I Left Her
Up In The Room.

Huh?

Ready!
Thirty-Five! Hut!

Play!

Cliff:
What Do You Mean,
I Forgot About You?

It's Only Been
A Few Hours.

Nobody Likes Me.

Are You Kidding?

Everybody's
Waiting For You.

Vanessa Refused To Eat
Until You Showed Up.

Great Dinner,
Mom.

It Was
Delicious.

All Right, Then
Just The Two Of Us

Will Sit Down And
Have A Lovely Dinner.

I Don't Eat With Fibbers!

I'll Get Her.

Well, The Fibber Will
Just Have To Eat Alone.

Are You Really
Going To Wear That?

This Is A Real
Football Uniform--

The Kind That Men Wore.

This Is All The Protection
We Needed.

Tell Him How You Were
CarriedOff The Field.

Only To Get Your Attention.

My Boy, You Are About
To Become A Part

Of The Huxtable
Tradition.

Starting With
Your Great Great
Grandfather--

General
Theo Huxtable.

My Great Great Grandfather
Was A General?

No, That Was His Nickname.

General?

He Gave It To Himself
Because He Was A Big Man

And A Man That Size

When He Said, "Call Me General"
Everybody Said, "Okay."

So Here We Go.

Hey, That's
Real Interesting.

Tell Me More.

No, We Don't Have Time.

We Have To Get Out There.

Here We Go!

Hut Two!

No, Don't
Rub It.

That's The Calcium Deposit
Building Up.

Play Ball!

Hut! Hut! Hut!

(Groan)

Move The Feet!
Move The Feet!

General, I'm Sending You One.

Rudy?

Rudy, Please
Talk To Me.

I Could Come In,
If You Like.

Hi.

You Know, Rudy,
You've Really Got It Rough.

You're The Youngest
In The Family

And Nobody Wants
To Play With You.

They Tease
You.

You Wonder If There's
Anything Worse Than Being Five.

There Is--

Four.

Five Is Better Than Four?

Yes. They're Babies.

So Be Proud Of Being Five--

Like "Yay, Five."

Think Of All The Things
Five-Year-Olds Can Do.

You Can Tie Your
Own Shoelaces.

You Can Dial
The Phone...

Go To
Kindergarten.

Last Year You Couldn't Do That.

Because I Was Nothing.

No, You Were Never Nothing.

You Just Weren't Five.

I'm Five Now.

And You Can Do Things
You Couldn't Do Before.

What About That?

Yay, Five.

Yay, Five.

Mommy, How Old Are You?

Old.

Yay, Old.

All Right,
Just Remember--

Keep Your Center
Of Gravity Low

Shoulders Square.

Got It, Dad.
You've Got It.

Take A Shower.

Dad, You Really Showed Me
A Lot Out There.

You've Got Some Great Moves
For A Guy Your Age.

I Figure I Won't
Completely Fall Apart

Until Next Week Sometime.

How Does He Look?

Cliff, Your Eyes.

I Don't Think They're
Going To Dance For A While.

Tell Me About It.

I Went Out There
With No Preconceived Ideas.

Do You Understand?

I Just Wanted To See
What The Boy Has.

The Boy Has Nothing.

He Made The Team.

There Are People
On The Football Team.

Only Of Them
Get To Play.

The Other Are To Keep The
Bench From Flying Up In The Air

When The Real Players
Go Out There.

Start From The Beginning.

We Get Out To The Field.

The Boy Snatches
The Ball From Me

Runs Down To The End Zone,
Spikes The Ball

And Then Starts
To Do Some Kind Of Dance.

For Minutes He Danced.

I Thought Rain
Was Going To Fall.

Then The Boy Comes Running Back

And Says To Me, "How Do You Like
My Dance For After I Score?"

I Said, "Great!"

The Boy Is Not Going To Score.

He Must Have Some Skills.

I Threw The Ball To Him,
He Caught It.

There You Go.

No-- I Said,
"Son, It's Better

To Catch The Ball
Before It Hits Your Face."

Okay, So He's Not A Receiver.

I Said, "Okay, Punt."

He Took The Ball, Kicked It.

The Ball Went Backwards.

In Order For Him
To Kick In The Game

They Center The Ball To Him,
He Catches It

Turns Around,
Then He Kicks The Ball.

I See You Shaking Your Head,
Saying "Football Father."

You're Not One?

Aha.
Aha What?

The First Sign Of Being One
Is Denial.

I Know What
A Football Father Is.

I'm Telling You That Right Now,
Theo Is Terrible.

He's And If You Tell
Him That, It Will Destroy Him.

I Didn't Tell Him.

I'm Telling You.

Is He Really That Bad?

Worse.

Dad?

Yes, Theo, My Boy.

I've Been Thinking About
The Huxtable Football Tradition.

Is There Room In It
For A Guy Who's Not A Star?

Sure.

I Might Not Get
Much Playing Time At All--

Like Maybe None.

Whatever You Do, We'll Be
In The Stands Cheering You On.

Thanks, Mom.

You, Too, Dad?

What Was The Question?

Will You Be Cheering?

Oh, I'll Have Your Mother
On My Shoulders.

I've Got A Lot To Learn, Huh?

Well, You Know,
You Have Your Dance Down Pat.

You've Got That Covered.

Now All You Have To Do
Is Learn The Skills

That Will Put You
Into The End Zone

So You Can Do
Your Wonderful Dance.

That Could Take Weeks.

Years.

Years?!

Not Real Years.

I Mean, You Play
In The Fall Only.

The Question You Have
To Ask Yourself Is:

Is It Worth It?

I'm Just Happy
To Be On The Team.

Really?

When We're Practicing,
Kids Come Around And Watch.

They Can't Come On The Field
Because They're Not On The Team.

I May Never Make First String,
But I'm On The Field.

Okay.

But You Better Keep
That Bench From Flying Up.

What?

No, I'm Dead Serious.

When That Team Runs Out There

You Let That Bench Fly Up
And Hit Somebody In The Head

I'll Come Down There, Boy...

Mom, What's He
Talking About?

Listen, Show Mom
The Dance That You...

You Know, When You...

There It Is--
The Groverton Game

And I Still
Cannot Understand

Why They Didn't
Go To Me.

I Think I Can.

You're Kidding.
Why?

Five Minutes
Left On The Clock

And Your Team Has The Ball.

They Hand It To Someone
Who Breaks Through The Line.

He Gets Hit.

But That
Doesn't Stop Him

Because He's
Got Some Moves.

He's Spinning By The Tacklers,
Leaping Over The Linebackers.

I Won't Say
Who The Someone Is.

But The Someone Is In This Room.

In This Room?

Now, There Is No One Between
The Someone And The Goal Line

And As He's Racing
Down The Field

He Turns To Look At His Fiancee.

He Holds The Ball Up
And Waves To Her.

What A Man.

As He Brings The Ball Down,
His Knee Comes Up

Knocks The Ball Backwards

Into The Hands
Of The Groverton Tackler

Who Runs In The Opposite
Direction And Scores.

Now, Who Did That?

Toby Wilson.

He's Not Here.

Clair Huxtable.

I Was Just Trying To Show You
That I Loved You.

You Were Showing Off.

It Will Be A Cold Day

The Next Time I Wave
Anything At You...

Miss Thing.