01x14 - The Fire of Hercufleas/The Marios Fight Back

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!". Aired: September 4 – December 1, 1989.*
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Revolves around Mario and Luigi, two Italian-American plumbers from Brooklyn.
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01x14 - The Fire of Hercufleas/The Marios Fight Back

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey Paisanos!

it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!

♪ We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game, ♪

♪ we're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪

♪ If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double, ♪

♪ we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the ♪

♪ brothers Unh! ♪

♪ H-hooked on the brothers. ♪

♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme. ♪

♪ Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat, ♪

♪ get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats. ♪

♪ You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the ♪

♪ others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on ♪

♪ the brothers. ♪

♪ To the brink! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪

♪ I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪

♪ The brothers! ♪♪

I'm David
Horowitz and tonight,

we're going to fight
back against shlock.

Is he talking about us?

You better believe it.

We're at the
Mario Brothers ah,

what do you call this place?

We call it home.

Right.

Home.

And they claim, that they
can dissolve any clog in three

minutes or less, with their
Mario Brothers clog cleaner.

[Mario:] The very best.

Well here's my clogged sink.

You guys can begin,
when you're ready.

We, are ready.

Gentlemen start
your clog cleaning.

You got it.

Watch our smoke David.

Stillson wrench.

Stillson wrench.

Go get it brother.

Monkey wrench.

Monkey wrench.

Every move's a picture.

I got it.

Mario Brothers clog cleaner.

Mario Brothers clog cleaner.

One dash of this
stuff and you'll see.

Eh by the way, are
we on national tv?

World wide.

Ohhhh.

[David:] Aren't you
using too much?

Yo David, we are
professionals.

Remember kids, do not try this
at home alone by yourself,

unless, you use a net.

That's right.

Ok, let the countdown begin.

Rag?

Rag.

Uh oh.

Uh oh?

Uh ohhhhh!

♪ Yo, yo! ♪

♪ It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game, ♪

♪ found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain, ♪

♪ lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪

♪ Comin' atcha
with the plumbers, ♪

♪ you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪

♪ Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving, ♪

♪ they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪

♪ Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers, ♪

♪ they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪

♪ Unh! ♪♪

Plumber's
log number ,

the ancient city of Mythos.

We were looking for an
old paisano of Toad's,

whose name was--

[Toad:]
The Mighty Hercufleas!

They even built
a statue to him!

With one hand tied
behind his back,

he can b*at King Koopa
and all of his--

Bad guys!

Look behind us!

[Princess:] Mouser!

Jumpin' gelato!

I've got an idea!

Up on the pedestals everybody!

I gotcha, we're statues.

I know those drain brain
Marios are around here

somewhere.

We must've lost 'em.

Ahh, ahhh, ahhh.

I better report this to
his royal repulsiveness King

Koopa.

Ahh-choo!

King Koopa's here?

No sweat Luigi.

We'll get help from a
genuine, first class,

grade A hero!

[Mario:] Come on, let's
find this Hercufleas guy.

Well, Toad sure has
friends in high places.

I'll say!

There must be a
thousand steps to go,

before we reach the top.

Introducing, Hercufleas!

The mountain of muscle!

The tower of power!

The--

Dumpy guy eatin' donuts.

Huh?

[chewing]

Hi Toad.

It's great to see ya again.

That's no way to stay healthy.

Are you sure he can help us?

Of course he can.

So, Herc!

[laughs]

How's the hero biz?

Oh, I don't do that
stuff anymore Toad,

I've got a steady job.

I'm the official guardian
of: The Great Balls of Fire!

[gasps]

Yikes!

Leaping lasagna!

Whoa!

[crash]

[Toad:] That's hot stuff!

That's dangerous
firepower little buddy,

and my job is to keep it from
falling into the wrong hands.

[Koopa:]
Bring me The
Great Balls of Fire!

But your most imperial
and magnificent Koopaness,

The Great Balls of Fire
are guarded by the legendary

Hercufleas.

Hercufleas?

He's a has been!

Even you bonehead Beezos can
stop that over-the-hill hero!

Why am I cursed with
such mush-headed minions?

Ah Mouser!

I was just talkin' about you.

Your most grand, majestic, and
not at all overweight Koopa.

Princess Toadstool and
the Marios are near.

Perfect!

Once I have The
Great Balls of Fire,

I'll really heat things up for
that Princess Fungus and her

sewer simps!

[laughs]

Sorry I can't help
you b*at King Koopa,

but I'm just not
much of a hero anymore.

Sure ya are!

Guarding this
temple is plenty heroic!

With you on the job, nobody'll
get near the--

[Beezo:]
Great Balls of Fire!

Dead ahead!

[gasps]

[Toad:] Ow, hey!

Watch it!

[Hercufleas:] Whoa!

Be careful!

They're stealing The
Great Balls of Fire!

[gasp]

Uhhh.

Okay, I'm mad!

Get this oversized hibachi
back to the Koopacropolis.

I'll take care of Hercufleas.

[laughs]

[panting]

Now I'm really mad!

Mad?

I'd say
you're...

...fit to be tied!

[laughs]

King Koopa was right!

You're not a
hero, you're a zero!

[laughs tauntingly]

Whoa!

Ouch!!!

Oh oh whoa!

Herc!

Watch out for--

that statue.

Oh, oh, oh!

Did anybody get the license
number of that chariot that

hit me?

[sigh]

Don't worry Hercufleas.

Me and my brother will
catch those fire thieves!

Right!

We will?

These fireballs are fantastic!

Think of the destruction!

Think of the wreckage!

Think of how much
this'll lower my heating bill!

Sir!

The Marios are coming!

If those faucet freaks want
The Great Balls of Fire that

badly, I'd hate to
disappoint them!

badly, I'd hate to
disappoint them!

Racin' rotini!

We gotta run for our lives!

Whooaaaaa!

We're barbecued meatballs!

Not yet Luigi.

Look!

[splash]

[Luigi:] I hope this works!

Come and get me, fireball!

Nice spitting Luigi!

We're gonna need
more than spit!

With that kind of firepower,
King Koopa's unstoppable!

Unstoppable?

We're plumbers!

If we can unstop a stop, we
can stop the unstoppable!

Uhhh, yeah.

But I still think
we're in deep spaghetti!

Maybe we could use some help?

What we need is the hero!

Forget it Mario!

I don't stand a
chance against King Koopa,

he has The Great
Balls of Fire.

But you have
something Koopa doesn't;

us!

My pudgy paisano, we're
gonna coach you back into hero

shape!

Get me back in shape?

How?

Magic?

A potion?

Nope!

With The Official Brooklyn
Academy of Plumbing Workout!

No pain, no clog in the drain!

[panting]

[grunting]

[laughs]

[grunting]

[grunting]

Wow!

[cheering]

Magnifico!

You're stronger than Grandma
Mia's garlic chip cookies.

I couldn't have done it
without my personal trainers.

Now, let's get The Great Balls
of Fire back from King Koopa!

Mouser!

More marshmallows!

Right away oh Kooperific one!

But, don't you think we
oughtta save those fireballs

to blast our enemies?

What enemies you
repugnant rodent?

I've already roasted 'em!

[Mario:] Roasted us?

You must've forgot about the
power of positive plumbing!

The Marios?

You're supposed to be smoked!

Did Jerkufleas save you?

[laughs]

Watch that
Jerkufleas stuff King Stoopa!

Beezos to battle stations!

We'll fry the
funny fungus first!

Ahhhhh!

Whoa!

Oh nooo!

Help!

I'm too young to fry!

Soft landing, coming right up!

Whoa!

This could be a
sticky situation.

Yuck!

Stop this Hercuflop!

I'm not a flop anymore!

Yo ho!

There!

Yo ho, there!

Whoaaaa!

Tooooad!

Yeaaaa!

He's ok!

Toad grabbed a
magic fireflower.

Call me Super Toad!

Ah.

Ah.

You pathetic
little firecrackers!

Don't Koop out on me!

Ahh, I can trounce this
mush twerp fire or no fire!

Feelin' lucky Koopa?

The Great Balls of Fire!

[Princess:] They're history!

And so am I.

Where's my getaway chariot?

So long flush faces!

You can keep your
Great Balls of Fizzle!

Koopa's escaped.

The Great Balls
of Fire are kaput.

Some hero I turned out to be.

Don't give up Herc!

There's a super
fungus among us!

Need a little warm up?

No problem!

[Hercufleas:] You did it!

The Great Balls of Fire are
burning brighter than ever

Toad!

Next time I need a
hero...

...I know where I'll look!

[laughter]

Well, I need a
hero right now;

a hero sandwich!

Oh boy we done it
this time Luigi,

he's out cold.

I know, and worse
than that Mario,

the sink is still clogged.

Geez what are we gonna do?

I mean we could lose
the whole business!

Wait a minute, I got an idea.

Ok go ahead.

How 'bout we use this huh?

But that's plant food
that's not gonna help.

I know Mario but
we're desperate.

I mean we got to unclog this
sink before David wakes up or

else we're finished!

Besides, it says right
here: all purpose plant food.

Well, maybe it'll help
dissolve the clog I dunno let

me see--

Give it a sh*t.

All purpose plant food.

Right.

That oughta do it.

Come on let's get outta here.

Ok.

What do you want a pizza?

Ahh double pizza
with cheese mozzarella.

How about a submarine?

Arrrr.

Arrrr.

What in the world
is happening here?

We haven't
finished this challenge.

Mario and Luigi where are you!

You created a monster!

[growling]

This is David Horowitz and
I'm really fighting back.

Wait 'til I get my hand
on those Mario Brothers,

but I'm outta here.

We'll fight back with
the Mario Brothers,

after these exciting scenes
from the Legend of Zelda!

I should be getting
hazardous duty pay!

This is the
Triforce of Wisdom Link,

the evil Wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.

[laughter]

Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land

forever, you
must help me Link!

Hey for you Zelda?

Anything!

This is all wrong!

Beautiful maidens are supposed
to be rescued by handsome

heroes, not other
beautiful maidens.

Well hey, pardon me!

I want to be rescued
by a handsome hero.

[Link:] Somebody call me?

My handsome hero!

It's about time you got here!

It's about time he got up!

Raarrrrr.

Yeaaa!

Ha!

Now that's what
I like to hear!

Pay attention Princess,
you could learn something.

Pffff.

My hero!

Jealous Zelda?

Ahh.

Phew.

Mario, I don't know about
that plant food that we used,

maybe it was a good idea
maybe it was a bad idea.

But I'll tell you the truth,
three minutes are almost up

no?

I wonder where Dave is?

[growling]

David?

Wait a minute.

Where are you?

Where'd he go?

Microphone, the cleaner--

Wait a minute, let
me look here.

Hey David!

Where are you?

Yo Mr. Horowitz!

Where'd he go?

Yo Dave!

Hey David!

Mr. Horowitz!

Where are you?

He probably took off when he
realized we weren't lying.

Of course.

Hey look at this sink,
it's as clean as a whistle.

No kiddin'.

There you go folks, positive
proof: that when you fix your

sink with Mario Brothers plant
food--

That clog Is history!

[Roar]

I hear your stomach growling.

No.

How about you, your stomach?

It's not my stomach.

Uh oh.

Uh oh?

Uh ohhhh!

'Til next time everybody!

Do the Mario!

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ You've got it! ♪

♪ It's the Mario! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪♪
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