Dream Wedding (2023)

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Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the

Annual Calgary Wedding Fair.

Please visit all the fabulous

vendors who will give you

lots of great ideas

for your wedding.

And you'll wanna stick around

for our bridal fashion show

right here in

the main concourse.

Come see the latest

bridal fashions and trends.

You won't

want to miss it.

Of course, don't forget

to enter our draw

sponsored by

Calgary Modern Wedding Magazine.

I'm Bob Hines,

and I'm the editor.

One lucky bride and groom

will a $100,000 dream wedding.

So fill out your ballots because

we'll be announcing the winner

right after

the fashion show.

Best of luck

to all of you.

And fellas don't forget,

your lovely lady

is shopping

here today for you.

She wants to

look good for you.

And a happy wife

is a happy life.

So it's not just

ladies here today.

There's ladies,

there's men,

there's everyone and

there's champagne for all.

Oh my gosh, Katey,

this is beautiful.

Champagne-scented rose petals.

Oh, great idea.

Perfect smell

for a hangover.

We have a special

on faux rose petals.

Soft plastic, but

nobody can tell.

Well, talk to my sister.

She's getting married, not me.

Oh, I know, dear, I can tell.

We also hand dip

the chapel flowers

to match your hair color.

Oh, we're just having a

simple, quickie wedding.

My fiance is from Australia,

so he's gotta go back.

Last week.

I know, I know.

We're getting

married in two weeks,

then living in Australia,

it's all so exciting!

Right, Kate?

Uh, Planet Earth, Kate Wilde?

Oh, oh, sorry, I was

just looking around.

Are these fake?

Faux, not fake.

Oh my gosh.

They're so soft!

Both my younger sisters

got married before me, dear,

so I know how you feel.

Is that champagne?

Oh, yes, it's

delicious and it's free.

Let's go get more.

Hi there, hello!

Oh, wow!

Look at this.

This is smart, right?

'Cause like, you

can see everyone.

I agree.

These are so cool!

This is the one,

I like it a lot.

Wow, that's beautiful.

Oh my gosh.

- Look at you!

- Thank you!

Yeah, just one more,

just smiling.

All right, there it is.

Okay, so, I don't know,

maybe you want to get married

near the Eiffel Tower.

Oui, oui, non?

Or maybe you need something

a little more gnarly, right?

Hawaii?

Oh, yeah.

I can marry you anywhere

in the world, really.

I mean, if reality's not

good enough for your wedding,

just call me.

Well, actually it's just

my sister getting married,

not me.

Are you sure about that?

I don't know.

You know what, I'll even

throw in the lucky guy.

Oh, you and Jeff

look great together.

You met at a coffee shop.

Do you know him?

Is he single?

Megs!

Oh, I'm just kidding.

But you actually do know him?

Naw, I got him off the net.

But he looks like a Jeff, right?

Or a Colby, Trey?

I don't know,

good-looking people

always have good

looking names, don't they?

I mean, beautiful women

always have beautiful names

like Lorelei, or Vanessa,

or Megan, or Kate.

Hey, have you entered the draw?

No, I haven't, but I did see

this sign at the front door.

Sorry, eager bride.

Oh, Megs, this is for

a wedding in June,

you'll be gone by then.

Uh, we will.

But you won't.

What?

No, no, no, no!

Good luck.

You didn't.

Yep.

That's crazy, I don't

even have a boyfriend!

Well, you better

find one fast.

Wedding's in June.

Katey, chill, what's

the big whoopty-do?

What if I win?

Then you get like a

lot of cool stuff, look.

Massages, pedicures, trips.

Heck, half this stuff

isn't even for weddings.

Diamond rings,

floral arrangements,

and a custom

wedding dress.

The other half is.

Katey, there's like

1,000 names in there.

Relax.

Hello, ladies and

gentlemen, and welcome.

I'm Bob Hines,

and I'm the editor

of Calgary Modern

Marriage magazine.

And it's time for a lucky

lady to win her dream wedding.

Let's see who it is.

You are crazy.

And the winner of the

$100,000 dream wedding

is Kate Wilde!

Kate Wilde, is that you?

One word and you're dead.

Kate Wilde, you have to

be here to win, dear.

Kate Wilde?

Well, it's a big building.

I'll just give her a call

and see if she's here.

I had to.

It said to.

I am going to k*ll you!

I swear, nobody

will find your body.

And no jury would convict me.

A big day for Kate Wilde.

Kate Wilde, is that you?

Come on up here,

claim your prize.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Kate Wilde,

the winner of the

$100,000 dream wedding.

You won!

Ha ha!

She won!

No, no, there's been

some kind of mistake and--

No.

No, no, do you know what?

We're just gonna have

a little chitchat.

We'll be right back.

Thank you very much.

Must be wedding nerves.

She'll be right up here

in a moment, folks.

$100,000 dream wedding.

Kate Wilde.

Isn't it wonderful?

Megs, what are you doing?

I can't accept this!

Sure you can.

You won, fair and square.

They picked you.

I'm not getting married!

So?

Only you and I know that.

Look, do you see any

TV crews, paparazzi?

Outside of this building,

nobody knows, and nobody cares.

Like not even these

businesses care who win.

They're doing this just for

publicity and advertising.

Uh, excuse me?

Kate Wilde?

They're ready for you.

Is everything okay?

No, it's not.

Yes, yes, everything is fine.

She's just a little shy.

Could you just give

us one more minute?

Okay, yeah.

Thanks.

Katey, the next couple months,

what are you going to do?

Well, work?

No, no, I mean,

to meet people.

Specifically, single

men type people.

Office parties,

bars, Craigslist?

Okay, fine, what about

just going out on the town,

getting pampered and

waxed and massaged,

new clothes, new look,

$100,000 new you?

How does that sound?

But what about the other

women, the real brides?

Who's to say, by June,

you won't be a real bride?

History, logic, reality.

It could happen.

You're being pro-active,

make it happen.

Okay, fine, then do it for me.

I'm not going to see you

for a really long time.

Katey, this is a gift from God!

We can do all of this

fantastic stuff together!

God, Katey, for once in your

life, don't be sensible.

Live it up!

You could meet more people

and have more fun than

you've had in forever.

Okay, but you're

forgetting something.

What?

The wedding!

50% of the bride and

groom thing, it's missing.

Well, you just break up!

With who?

Raoul.

Raoul?

Raoul, Ted, Fred, it

doesn't really matter.

You just say that your

guy gets cold feet.

My darling Kate.

It's not you, it's me.

I'm just not quite ready

to commit but I hope--

Okay, spare me.

I know the drill.

Okay, I am crazy

to even think this, but...

Maybe, the day after you leave,

I could call them and tell

them that the wedding is off

and they'll have time

to find a real bride.

Yeah!

Go, Katey, go, Katey!

You are insane and I

am insane for listening.

Yeah, it runs in the family.

Look, Katey, you're doing this.

If you don't, you're gonna

regret it for your entire life.

Oh, I already regret it.

No more talk.

C'mon, let's go.

Let's go.

Kate Wilde has won a

$100,000 dream wedding.

And to get that, to come

up and get her prize.

Come on up, Kate!

We're back!

Sorry, everyone.

New bride nerves,

you know how it is.

Kate, are you here?

Oh, ladies and gentlemen,

our winner, Kate Wilde!

Congratulations.

Welcome.

Welcome, and congratulations

on winning $100,000 dream

wedding just for you.

Thank you.

Sorry, she's a little shy.

I am Kate's sister and I will

be accepting on her behalf,

so thank you.

Very nice of you.

A bridesmaid?

Uh, yeah, yeah, I sure am.

Look, we're in a

bit of a hurry, so-

Yes, I saw that, I saw that.

I saw you rush off there.

Now, Kate, it almost looked

like you did not want

to win this contest,

but that can't be right.

So tell me, Kate,

is your wonderful fiance

here with you today?

No, no, you know men.

They'd rather have

dental surgery

than be dragged

to this place.

My own fiance

refused to come.

Oh, so you're getting

married as well?

Yes, yes, I am.

He proposed last week.

Oh, that's wonderful,

congratulations to you both.

Now, Kate,

I'm sure you'd love

to have your fiance

standing right next to you

on this special day.

Why don't

we give him a call

and explain

to him all the

wonderful things

that have happened to you?

- No!

- No!

No?

- No.

- No.

No, we can't.

He is in Mexico.

- Way up in the mountains...

- Oh, the mountains, yeah.

by the ocean.

Yes, and there's no

cell phones there.

There's not even Internet.

- He's a doctor.

- A doctor, a doctor.

And he also builds

homes for the poor.

Awww!

Anyway, we really

have to go, so...

Builds homes for

the poor in Mexico.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I ask...

You must be so proud of him.

She is, she really,

really is.

She just can't stop talking

about him, except for right now.

So, we could

just gotta grab--

What's his name?

Raoul.

Raoul?

Raoul.

Yes, um.

Raoul DeCredenza.

Yes, six four, beautiful

blue eyes, great butt.

Sounds lovely.

Anyway, we're actually

on our way to the airport,

we've gotta go get him.

Andy, would you come up and

take a couple of photographs

of our winner please

and her sister?

How exciting...

Pictures.

Hi.

All right, right

there, and smile.

- Smile.

- Yeah, yeah.

There it is.

All right, well, congratulations.

- Although I thought that--

- Katey, go get the car.

Hi, yeah,

I just need this.

We need to

get to the airport.

Oh, please allow us to

take you to the airport.

- No.

- Please.

We have a stretch

limousine at your disposal.

A what?

A stretched limo.

A limo.

A limo.

Yes.

Actually, we can just take

a couple more pictures.

Couple more pictures.

Andy, if you would.

All right.

Yeah, not a problem.

You know the drill,

right in the lens,

and the smile thing again.

Uh, yeah, say "I love weddings!"

I love weddings!

I love weddings.

Stretch limo, baby!

Every Sunday

until the Big Day.

You mean, our court

date, when we get sued?

What do you

mean we, stranger?

I've been carjacked,

taken hostage.

I can't believe I let

you talk me into this.

Oh yes, a limo, champagne.

You poor thing.

I swear I am an only child.

You must have been adopted

by some depressed Swedish

Puritans or something.

Mom, Dad, my friends.

Oh, Kate, nobody knows

except for you and I.

And even if someone does find

out, what's the big deal?

You won a big prize

at the Wedding Fair.

Yeah, a wedding.

Usually, that

involves two people.

Oh, let's have

lunch at La Gavroche.

French food, Kate, we're

going to eat French food!

Oh, I am so having this.

What is it?

I have no idea, but it's

100 bucks, so must be good.

Oh, you and Dave go.

We can't.

You have to be there.

You're the bride, remember?

We're here.

Uh, where?

The airport?

Right.

Thank you.

First time in a limo, and

nobody we know sees us.

Thank God.

Need help with anything?

Yeah, actually you

can just take us back.

Take you back? But--

Sorry.

No, no, thank you so

much for the ride.

We're okay.

Yes, thank you.

It was lovely.

We'll see you

next Sunday, right?

Hey, what are you

doing in June?

Sorry.

She was dropped on

her head as a baby.

You know, maybe stuck a fork

in a toaster at one point.

Anyway, thank you so much.

Limo is beautiful.

You take care now,

we gotta catch our flight.

Our bags are in there with

our fiance, that's fine.

Thank you.

Take care now.

Okay, we have had our fun.

Uh, no, we are

just getting started.

No, we are not.

We are going home.

Wait, weren't you supposed

to meet Dave after the fair?

Oh my gosh, with everything

going on, I totally forgot.

Hello.

Hi, uh,

we're at the airport.

You're where?

At the airport.

We don't have our car.

It's kind of a long story.

Megan, I'm

at the consulate.

You need to

be here with me.

Crikeys, we got like

a million things to do

and you go to the

bloody airport?

Where's your car?

At the fair.

We drove here

in a stretched limo.

It was fantastic!

I don't give

a rat's back...

I don't give a rat's back side

if flying dingos took you!

Megan, you've got to

be more responsible.

Just, just get here

as fast as you can.

Okay, bye, I love you.

We need two taxis.

I've gotta go

to the consulate.

Passport stuff.

You okay?

Just stressed.

The wedding, the trip.

We've fought more

in the past six days

than we have in the

entire six months.

God, 60 million men

in this country,

and I marry

an Australian?

But I'm glad

we won this thing.

It was fun today, huh?

Raoul DeFirenza?

DeCredenza.

Raoul DeCredenza.

Six four, blue eyes.

Yeah, buns of steel, I know.

You are a nut.

Why couldn't you have

gone with John Smith?

That name, they

can't check up on.

Who, the wedding cops?

Nobody cares, Kate.

In two weeks, you and Dave will

be split up, and it's over.

What?

It was a good idea.

Uh, no, Meg, you said

Dave, not Raoul.

Oh, nobody cares what

you call your fake husband.

The next two weeks, sis,

you and me are going to

bump it like a trumpet.

Am I right?

Relax.

Nobody knows but us, okay?

And I'm not gonna tell a soul.

Unless we get caught.

Then I talk.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Look, I'll call you

when I'm done, okay?

And tomorrow, first thing,

we're going to the spa.

Maybe the

day after you leave,

I could call them and tell

them that the wedding is off

and they'll have time

to find a real bride.

Yeah.

That's perfect, thank you.

Feeling better?

Less paranoid?

Kinda, yeah.

Good.

I was worried you'd enter into

a Witness Relocation Program.

Again...

Congratulations.

It is a shame that your

fiance couldn't join us.

So, will you guys

be ready to order?

Megan, you go.

Hello?

Is this Kate Wilde?

Yep, speaking.

Hi, Kate, it's Bob Hines,

editor of Calgary

Modern Wedding Magazine.

You must remember me,

we met yesterday.

yes, yes.

Have you used

any of your prizes yet?

Don't touch the wine!

Why, what's wrong?

It's the wedding fair,

they found out.

Mr. Hines, I'll pay it

all back, every penny,

even for the wine.

I'm sorry.

You know, I'd been drinking,

I wasn't thinking.

Please forgive me.

I'll deal with this later.

Mr. Hines?

Hello, Kate, Kate?

I'm sorry, it's just

a madhouse here today.

Now, Kate, we're gonna need

photographs of you and Raoul.

It's for our June issue.

Andy Swenson is going

to be the photographer,

he'll take the sh*ts.

And I certainly hope

you're enjoying your gifts.

We're fine, they don't know.

No, I have to tell him.

Mr. Hines--

- Give me that.

- Hey!

Hi, this is Megan,

Kate's sister.

Do you always speak for Kate?

Yes, I do.

We'll get you those pictures.

But we gotta go, bye!

Okay.

Charming lady.

What are you doing?

Give me that!

No, Kate, we're fine.

- They don't know.

- They will soon.

Give me that!

No, Kate, look.

They just want pictures

of you and some guy.

What's the big deal, you guys

are gonna be broken up anyway

by the time the

magazine comes out.

They'll just pull the photo.

What photo?

And what guy?

Any photo, you and any guy.

Dave!

Dave will do it.

He's tall, he's good-looking,

he's got a great butt.

Megs, what do

we tell him, huh?

How do we explain to him

that he's posing for

wedding photos with me?

Megan?

Oh my gosh,

he already knows.

You already told him.

Katey, I'm sorry,

I had to tell him.

He was so mad

at me yesterday.

Look, you should see

our passport pictures,

we were both so upset,

we look horrible.

You know, these

past couple days,

I don't know if I'm

doing the right thing.

Megan, he loves

you and you love him.

I know, I know.

It's just with him

proposing and me leaving,

it's just all

happening so fast.

And God, in two

weeks I'm going to be

in a whole different

country with a husband!

And without Mom, without Dad,

without my big sister.

I'm such a baby,

I can't stand it.

No, no, no.

You're actually very brave.

I'm the one who's

backed out twice.

Heck, look at me now.

I can't even go through

with a fake wedding.

Did you tell anyone else?

Megs.

What, is it all

over your Facebook?

No, no!

Just one little

e-mail, to Vicky,

but I swore to her,

complete and total secrecy.

I can hear 100 Twitters

spreading the news.

No, Kate, that's

so not happening.

Look, Dave and I will

come to your work tomorrow

and we'll take some

pictures of you guys.

Nuh uh.

They want the photographer

from the wedding fair,

you know, the guy

with the beard?

All right, sure, we'll do it.

You and Dave should

totally have a fight!

You know, like a

little argument.

That way, it sort

of sets the seeds

for the eventual breakup.

What do you think?

I think we're both gonna be

wearing straight-jackets soon.

Oh, Kate, it's just

13 more days, and then...

I'm sorry, I caught

Frozen Female Feet.

Wedding's off, bye!

Give me that.

Where's our waiter?

I'm hungry.

Hey, guys.

G'day, darling wife.

Oh yeah.

Look, thanks for doing this.

I know it seems crazy but

Megan talked me into it.

Me too.

I was going to refuse

but then it dawned on me,

things just might work out.

Oi, crikey, not even

bloody well married yet.

All right,

we should get going.

I only have an hour.

Katherine, sorry, excuse me.

Before you go, these

rental contracts.

What about them?

Well, you see,

there's an important

disclosure

failure here.

Your wedding!

Surprise!

What are you talking about?

Oh my God!

And you must be the lucky man?

Am I?

Speech,

speech, speech, speech, speech,

speech, speech, speech,

speech, speech, speech!

Uh, listen, guys,

this is very nice of you,

but you didn't have

to do this because I-

Oh, we know.

I mean, what could

we possibly get you?

You already have

everything you need.

Actually, I don't.

That's the problem.

Wow, this is embarrassing.

Bottom line, I'm

not getting married.

You know, I'd been drinking,

I wasn't thinking,

and I made a very big mistake.

Guys, guys, come on,

you'll work through this.

Megan.

They're just going through

a little bit of a rough patch.

Megan, I will push your

head through a rough patch,

if you don't shut up.

It happens to all

couples before weddings.

You know, the stress,

the travel, passports.

But I'm sure these

two will work it out.

We just have to talk,

we'll be right back.

I'm sure it'll work out.

I mean, trust me,

I'm a bit of an expert.

Been married three times.

You do have a

pre-nup though, right?

You are embarrassing me

in front of my co-workers.

Megan, this is over,

done, finished.

See this?

Take a good look!

I am in the paper,

for goodness sake!

What, some neighborhood rag

that maybe 10 people

will ever see?

They saw it!

Anyway, I told them that

I'm not getting married,

so this is it, it's over.

No, Kate, it's not over.

Not until we tell

the wedding people.

And we'll do that

after we have our fun.

Look, Kate, you agreed

to do this, come on!

That was before my

co-workers found out

that I'm marrying

my sister's fiance.

They don't know who Dave is.

They will in two weeks,

when they see you two in the

paper cutting wedding cake.

So they'll just think he

moves fast and that I'm a tramp.

Look, I'm leaving

anyway, remember?

I'm not!

I have to deal with this.

Look, Megan, I love

you, but you are 26.

It is time for you to grow up.

You mean, be like you.

What's that supposed to mean?

What, you don't

want to be boring,

sensible, and afraid

of commitment?

Geez, what's so bad about that?

The only thing worse would be

an irresponsible, immature girl

who'd marry a man she's

only known for six months.

Sounds great.

Sign me up.

I did!

This is ridiculous.

I can't believe

we're arguing about it.

I know!

Look, if you want

to call it quits,

and break poor

Dave's heart, do it.

At least we had one fun day.

Well,

I did tell the truth

about me not

getting married.

So if you're going to guilt

trip me into having fun,

we better go get my

future ex-husband.

Um, yeah, before

he dumps us both.

I'm sorry, but if you

don't have an appointment

with Mr. Hines, you

can't see him today.

He'll want to see me.

Mr. Hines!

This is gonna be great.

I have thought

this all through.

Dave, you're really

going to pretend

to be Raoul DeCrendeza?

Si, senorita.

No problemo, love.

What?

A subtle hint of

Aussie poking through?

Just a wee bit there, mate.

Actually, Dave and I

have come up with a plan.

Right, honey bunny?

Right, pookie-bear.

What is that plan?

A good one.

Just let me do the talking.

That's how I got into this

mess in the first place,

so please tell me the plan.

I can't believe

you don't trust me.

Look, when we go in there,

Dave, I mean, Raoul

speaks no English.

Right, and then how

do we talk to him?

Should've made him a mute,

then we could've

used sign language.

It's true.

That's a right bright idea.

What?

It is.

So what do we do now?

Come on, love,

it doesn't matter.

This photographer

bloke won't care.

No English it is.

Let's go.

Hello?

Andy?

Guys, it's gonna be great.

Anybody here?

Hello?

Yeah, be right there.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Megan.

- I remember.

- Hi, Megan.

And hi, Kate.

Good to see you again.

You must be Raoul?

Tell me, how does it

feel to be the winner

of a $100,000 wedding?

Raoul does not

speak any English.

Or Spanish.

Really?

That must prove difficult

working in Mexico.

Saving children.

Um, yeah.

Look, we're in a

bit of a rush, so...

Oh, yes,

the pictures, right?

Yeah well, hey, I saw

you guys walking in,

took the liberty of just

grabbing a few candids.

Got one here that's-

I think really special.

This is gonna be one

interesting wedding album.

Yes, you see,

in Raoul's country,

men kiss the

bride's sisters.

Megan, give it a rest, okay?

We're busted.

Yeah, I reckon so.

Sorry, mate.

Feel like a bloody fool now.

Oh, I mean, he speaks

kind of English.

Hi, Andy.

- Where you from?

- Australia.

Dave Whyte.

Megan and I are

getting married.

And I am not.

But I think I told you

that at the fair, didn't I?

Yes.

You must think we're

idiots, or crazy.

Or both.

Actually,

I'm just more curious

as to why you even

entered the contest.

Oh, I didn't.

No.

Look, I never thought

that she would win.

And when she did, I thought,

meh, we'll just have some fun,

and maybe she'll

meet a nice guy.

I was only going to

do it for two weeks.

That's how long Megan

and Dave are in town for,

and then I was gonna

have a break up.

And then they'd

pick somebody else.

Look, we didn't

mean any harm by it,

we were just having fun.

So please, don't

turn her in now.

Oh, like to the

marriage police?

Drop the ring, come

out with your hands up!

So you're not mad?

No, not at all,

this is hilarious.

You guys are great.

I mean, I've got a

warped sense of humor,

so as far

as I'm concerned,

you can just milk this like

as long as you need to.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Well, in that case...

No!

No, two weeks.

This has been stressful enough,

I feel like I'm actually

getting married.

Got that right.

No offense, mate, but what's

with all the bloody fooferall?

Matching bloody

teacups and napkins.

Christ.

Me and Megs are having

a simple quickie wedding,

and it's still a nightmare.

Uh, thanks a lot.

You know what I mean.

What should be so simple

usually just turns

into a cocked-up

footy scrum-bash.

A what?

I dunno, but I'm

going to buy a book.

I think what he's

trying to say is,

correct me if I'm wrong,

you want like a more simple

wedding, like Vegas style?

Just 50 bucks, five

minutes, you're out or?

50 bucks.

Hey, look.

A wedding is every woman's

once in a lifetime special day.

There should be roses, there

should be candles, and doves,

and it should be romantic.

Right, Kate?

Well, seeing as I'm having

a $100,000 wedding, I agree.

Katey, if you find

the right guy now,

you'll be quite the catch.

Except he'll have to

marry me in a few months.

And we all know how well

quickie marriages turn out.

We're wasting your time.

Very sorry

to bother you,

but it's very nice

to have met you.

It was nice to

have met you as well

and you're not

bothering me at all.

In fact, Kate, I mean, are

you into tall, handsome men?

She is, mate,

but I'm taken.

Okay, well, I work

with models all the time

so I was thinking, what

if I just spoke to a few

and told them that

they would be part

of this dream wedding

campaign, right?

And you just need to pretend

to be a groom for two weeks.

I mean, a lot of them would

probably come out for free

just to get their

faces out there.

Uh, yeah.

I don't know.

It's not a bad way

to meet somebody.

Oh my God,

it's a great idea!

Look Katey,

look at these hunks!

They're gorgeous.

Just like you, honey.

All right,

let's pick a hottie.

Oh, come on, Megs, I mean,

I can't just look at-

Wow, he's fit.

Uh, yeah.

- Uh, Glenn.

- Glenn?

Yeah, Glenn.

Yeah, he's a fitness

and sport model, but...

- No?

- No.

Trust me.

Oh, what about him?

Or him?

Or him, or him,

or him, or him?

Babe, babe.

I think she can

only choose one.

This coming from the

guy marrying two sisters.

Okay, guys, I don't

know about this.

I mean, yes, they are

very good-looking,

but I'm attracted to someone

with a good sense of humor,

and someone I can

actually talk to.

God, Katey, what's

wrong with you?

You drive me crazy.

You know, Kate,

I wouldn't judge

a handsome book by

its cover too quickly.

I mean, a lot of these guys

are students, pre-med, pre-law,

they're actually

pretty bright.

And they're hot!

Look, Katey, you so

totally have to do this.

Please?

I guess, maybe.

Yay, we can double-date!

So, Biff, how much

weight did you lift today?

A small country?

Belgium?

Either way, we still

have to be kind of careful.

Some of them are married,

some of them have girlfriends,

and then some of them are

married with girlfriends.

Yeah, I don't know

how that works.

Hello?

Kate Wilde?

Bob Hines, hi.

Listen, Kate,

I was just wondering,

have you and

Raoul had a chance

to get to the studio and get

those pictures taken yet?

Uh, no.

No, we haven't just yet.

Would you mind holding

on just a second?

It's the magazine guy,

he wants to know if we

took the pictures yet.

I really don't like this.

Bob Hines?

Yeah.

You mind if I take it?

Bob, hey,

it's Andy Swenson here.

Listen, could you call back?

I am literally just

about to sh**t Kate

and her fiance right now.

Yeah, with a camera, yeah.

No, yeah, they're

a wonderful couple.

Yeah.

No, not a problem.

Yeah, absolutely,

I'll e-mail you

as soon as

I have the images.

Yeah, okay.

Bye.

Well, I mean, it's possible

that he suspects something?

Either way, we should probably

pick you a groom real quick.

No, no, no, if he

suspects something,

I really don't want to

get you into trouble.

No skin off my back.

I mean, as far as I'm

concerned, you came in,

I sh*t you and your fiance,

and he happens to be a model.

Yeah, what's the big deal?

You're gonna break up with

this guy in two weeks anyway.

Unless my

mail-order-husband plan works.

Pick a dude.

I'm sorry, Joanne, but our

photographer Andy Swenson says

that Kate and Raoul

are at the studio

getting their pictures

taken as we speak.

And I'm telling you

that that is a crock!

This chick ain't

getting married, okay?

Just listen again.

Oh, please.

The day after

you leave, I can call them

and tell them that

the wedding is off

and they'll have time

to find a real bride.

Let's go out for pride.

What, no!

No, that is not

what she is saying.

I'm sorry, Joanne, I don't

know what they're saying.

I don't know who

these people are.

All I see are feet.

And quite frankly, dear, I

don't know who you are, okay?

So, I don't

want to be rude,

but I think

it's time you left, okay?

If I can prove it,

will you give me the prize?

- What?

- Mr. Hines--

Do we have a deal?

Sure, yeah.

- Yes, yes?

- You will, you bet.

- Yes, yes.

- Sure.

Yes, Andy Swenson, yes!

Out of my way!

You have a

call on line two

and I need you to

make a decision

on these fabrics

really quick.

Uh, Kari, get that to

the printers, please.

As much fun as this is,

Megan and I still have

some visa work to sort out.

So, if you'll excuse us...

Um, I'll take this for you,

Katey, I'll help you out.

I'm sure she can handle it.

Really, it'd be no problem.

Nice to meet you, Andy.

You're a good sport.

Kate, see you later.

Megan, I'm gonna

need that back.

Thank you.

Need the other one too.

Thank you.

Have fun.

- You want lunch?

- Yeah.

You like

soup and sandwich?

I mean, it's not

fancy, but it's free.

Sure.

Follow me.

Aw, that was nice of

him to do that for Kate.

What?

Oh, come on, love,

you think if your sister looked

like a wallaby's backside,

he'd be doing this?

That bloke fancies her, wants

to give her the hard words.

The what?

The hard words.

I don't know what they bloody

well call it in this country,

but down under,

you put the hard words

to she that you like.

I cannot go to Australia.

I do not speak that language.

Oi, I had to learn Megan.

Like-oh-my-God, it's so

totally awesome, bye.

So are you telling me

that when we first met,

you put the

hard words to me?

Uh, love, it's

just an expression.

Well, it doesn't

sound very romantic.

And it makes me wonder

what kind of country

we'll be living in.

Trust me,

you'll love it in Oz.

You'll never

want to come back.

And then they

called my name,

and I just about

had a heart att*ck.

And then I realized,

no, I can't die yet,

I have to

strangle Megan first.

Well, I remember

thinking, wait a minute,

she just told me she was

single like 15 minutes ago.

How did she

meet a guy so fast?

But don't worry,

I'm used to that.

I've had women on

death row tell me,

"You know what, Andy,

"I'm just not ready for

a relationship right now."

I'm kidding, she wasn't

really on death row, yet.

I got a twisted sense of humor,

I told you that, remember?

It's probably why

I'm still single.

I know, huge shock, huge.

Actually, I am surprised.

No, really.

You're funny,

you're very nice.

Not that word.

What word?

Nice.

Yeah, it's usually followed

by the dropping of an F-b*mb.

Friends.

Come on, you know

it's true, right?

Hey, Andy, you're really nice,

but let's just be friends.

It's a zone.

Yep, women want

the bad boy.

Well, that's not true.

Really?

Okay, please

look at exhibit A.

Look at his face.

Exhibit A, B, C.

None of them are smiling.

They're all going for

this police line-up look.

Okay, they're like,

"Hey Baby,

you wanna go on a date?

"Could end up in the

back of a cop car

"and I'll write

a song about it."

That sounds very appealing.

But it sells.

Listen, bad boys

are exciting, right?

Nice guys are not.

Woman want the challenge

of taming the bad boy.

Nice guys are already tame,

there's no challenge.

Okay, well, what

about bad girls?

What about 'em?

Other than,

well, God bless 'em.

I think that men

want the bad girls.

Well, good.

You know what?

I think men are just

trying to get a girl.

And it's hard, good or bad.

Well, if you feel

that way, Andy,

then why don't you

just become a bad boy?

You know what?

I try.

How?

I drink straight

outta the carton.

Come on.

Yeah, I don't

even use the glass.

I'll have an After Eight

dinner mint at five-thirty.

I don't care.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm going to try the

face, brace yourself.

That's terrifying.

I can't do it.

Good.

Women don't

want a bad guy.

The problem is

that most nice guys are

too shy to ask us out.

Trust me, Andy,

stay the way you are.

No, I'm serious.

Women want a man like you.

So you notice how

I put him in front?

Yeah, she was nine

months pregnant.

Practically had to use a fish

eye lens to take a picture.

Yeah, they would not

speak to each other.

Not even sure if they're

together anymore.

I mean,

God only knows how many

of these couples

are still together.

See, marriage in and

of itself is beautiful.

The marriage industry, whew!

That's another machine.

I mean, what kind of

business can survive

on a 50% failure rate?

But it just keeps on thriving.

It's the repeat business

that keeps it going.

How about yourself,

you ever been married?

No.

How about you?

No.

I could've been married twice.

I backed out both times.

Why, were they nice?

Sorry, I'm sorry!

It's a family habit,

I can't help myself.

Okay, I think I understand now

why you didn't marry those men.

They didn't survive

the engagement.

Kate and Raoul getting

pictures taken today?

I don't think so.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe you would be

interested in meeting Paul.

He's a fitness instructor,

pretty smart when

it comes to fitness.

Anyway, he's five minutes

away, you wanna go meet him?

You mean today, like now?

Yeah, today, like now.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I mean, I'm dressed for

work, not to meet someone.

You look great.

Not today.

You don't have much time.

I mean, you got two weeks

before you have to

break up with someone.

I know, I know,

but what if he says no?

To pretending to marry you?

What kind of guy

would say no to that?

No, c'mon, c'mon, it's not far.

C'mon.

I mean he's

a physical trainer,

but he's not like

a mean fitness guy.

He's not like "Hey, your

earlobes are soft and squishy,

"get down and give

me 1,000 push-ups!

"Do it!"

I never thought

about them before.

Another thing to worry

about when I meet him.

Thanks a lot.

You're okay.

Andy, I don't usually go

for that macho man type.

Never have.

Okay, okay, I got a plan.

All right, I'll go in

first and I'll talk to him.

All right, you just check

him out from a distance.

And if you don't want

me to introduce you,

then give me a signal.

Okay, like?

Yeah, that works.

So if you do that, then

I won't introduce you.

So if I don't

like him, I do this?

But what if I do like him?

Just come over and

say hi or talk to him.

Or tackle him?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- All right.

- All right, let's do this.

But they are

soft and squishy!

He's never not here, so...

Okay.

There he is.

Hey, Paul.

Yo, Andy!

What's up, dog?

What's up, bro,

you chilling?

You maxin'

relaxin' or what?

Yeah, just maxin'

relaxin' all cool.

sh**ting some B-ball out.

Yeah, you know what?

It's good to see you,

I'm gonna go.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Hi. Paul Thompson,

this is Kate Wilde.

Hi, Kate.

It's nice to meet you.

Hi, Paul.

Oh, is this a sh**t?

Where's your camera?

No, no, I'm not working.

I didn't think

you were a model.

Well, I mean, you're not

dressed for a booty call.

And you don't

have that fake bored

"why is everybody staring

at me" look on your face.

Oh, no.

So what

brings you two in?

Andy.

Um.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Paul, listen, this could

come across really awesome.

This could be awesome.

Hey, would you be

interested in pretending

to be Kate's fiance?

I mean, you'd have

a fake name, of course,

like Raoul DeCredenza.

What are you two up to?

Kinda like,

acting in a play?

Yeah.

I'll be the groom,

and she's the bride?

Yeah, I mean, unless

you want to switch roles.

We could lengthen the dress,

shorten the pants.

I mean, would your

girlfriend or wife mind?

Oh, no, no,

they wouldn't care.

I'm just kidding,

I'm single.

So Raoul DeCredenza?

Yeah, that could be cool.

I am an actor.

I do a little bit of bit parts.

You know, like this bit,

like that bit, like this bit.

Little body doubling, you know?

Yeah, Paul's been an ass

in a couple movies now.

So two weeks, huh?

Sure, if you want.

Sorry?

I mean, yes, until

my sister leaves.

Then we'd break up.

All right, let's do it.

Could be fun.

Besides, we wouldn't have to

go through with the real deal.

Oh, no.

Well.

And, Kate, you look good

now, but two weeks with me,

maybe you'll get in

better shape, right?

We're gonna go.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Sounds great.

- Yeah.

- Next time.

Yeah.

Bye, Paul.

Back that way.

Yeah, later.

Raoul DeCredenza.

Yeah.

Might get in better shape?

What did he mean by that?

It's his job,

he trains people, I...

He shouldn't

have said that.

I mean, he said you

looked good though, right?

So, other than that,

what'd you think?

Well, other than

calling me fat?

Yeah, he's nice.

Oh, well, I guess when

you're a Viking warrior god,

you can afford to be nice.

Well, we'll see.

I mean, yes, he is

very attractive,

but I don't judge a man

based on looks alone.

Uh, Kate?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, start from

the beginning.

He is so beautiful.

Incredible eyes,

amazing smile.

And his bod?

Oh my god.

Wow.

It's like the statue of David.

Except with arms.

That's the Venus de Milo.

Oh, whatever.

Tell me more.

Okay, well, you

know how I hate

when guys are like

"Yo dog, wus'up bro?"

Oh, yeah.

Well, he did that,

and I just stood there

smiling in a daze, like--

Like you lost your

mind and became me?

Exactly.

Megs,

this is ridiculous!

This is just a

physical attraction

that isn't

going anywhere.

The smartest thing I could

do is simply walk away

and never look back.

So when you seeing him?

Noon tomorrow.

So we have to go

shopping like now.

I know the perfect place.

Andy?

Andy, it's Kate.

Yeah.

- Yeah, hi.

- Hi.

Wow.

You look beautiful.

Oh, thanks.

Is Paul here yet?

- No.

- Good.

What?

Nothing.

Kate isn't here right now.

I can take a message.

Your name is?

Oh, no, that's okay.

It's not about work.

I just wanted to make sure

that I had the right Kate Wilde

to send a wedding present to.

This is her, correct?

Yes.

Yes, that's Kate.

Oh, so you've

seen this before?

Sure have.

Big surprise.

Really?

Why?

- Well-

- Uh huh?

First time

any of us heard--

Uh, sorry, how

do you know Kate?

Damn thing.

It just never stops.

I gotta take this,

so I'm gonna come back later.

Thanks, little girl.

Maybe he changed his mind.

Maybe his battery

d*ed, I don't know.

Did you take these?

Yeah, yeah,

it's my more artsy side.

Too bad it doesn't

pay the bills, huh?

They're beautiful.

Thank you.

I tend to use film

for a lot of 'em

just cause it has a

better look, you know?

- You still use film?

- Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, every time I go in,

all the photographers,

the young guys,

they're always like,

"I thought an asteroid

took you all out."

I'm like no, just let

me buy the film, please.

So, then I go out

in the wild and I just sh**t.

I love it.

I live for it.

It must be great

to have something

that you're so

passionate about.

Yeah.

Sometimes it costs a lot.

Don't worry,

he's coming.

- You sure?

- Oh yeah.

I got a shiny camera

and light set up.

Guaranteed,

he's on his way.

I start work on Monday,

so it'll be a short honeymoon,

but I reckon Christmas

break, we can hit Bondi?

Beautiful bonzer

beach, you'll love it.

The beach at Christmas?

Love, you'll be roasting.

But Christmas is supposed

to be cold and snowing.

Not back home, it isn't.

Ah, sun-block and a

floppy hat, no worries.

Um, I've been thinking.

Oi, what now, love?

What if, after we get married,

we go to Australia later?

Honey, you know we

can't go back later.

Even with us married, I still

have to leave this country.

But I can come later.

Of course, I'm still

gonna come and meet you,

it's just not quite yet.

Look, I love you, and

I want to be your wife.

- But--

- You're a little nervous.

I'm a lot nervous.

I lose one more nerve,

I go up to panic.

And, and when would

you come join me?

How long would it take

for you to be ready?

I...

I don't know.

What if we go to Hawaii?

It's a state,

it's about halfway.

I looked at a map.

Megan, I understand.

It's a big change,

and a big move.

But we can't get married

and then live on two

different bloody continents.

I love you.

And I want you on that

plane beside me, as my wife.

So, you have to decide.

He is so rude.

He's not coming.

He's coming, I just

turned the light on.

I have a craft table.

Hey guys!

Sorry I'm late.

Yeah, just really wanted

to rock it for your photos.

Oh, you are rocking it.

Thanks.

All right.

Speaking of

hitting it, Andy,

thought you said Kate

over here wasn't a model.

Oh, she's not,

she was here on time.

Oh, Andy, come on,

no, I don't care.

It's totally fine.

I am ready.

All right.

Oh, wow, what is that cologne?

It smells fantastic.

That's Contraction.

Contraception.

Something like that.

Contradiction?

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, I'm wearing

it right now.

One time, I did

this department store

publicity

thing for them.

You know, spritzing people

as they were walking by.

I was in

a suit and tie,

the girls were dressed

like Hooter girls.

That's hardly sexist, huh?

Yeah, they were

telling the guys,

wear this and you'll

get that lucky lady.

And to the girls,

wear this and you'll

get that rich guy.

I should probably stop

wearing that stuff then.

You were wearing

a suit and tie?

Yeah.

Anyway, they gave me

a bucket of the stuff.

You guys want some,

you let me know.

Okay.

So what are we doing today?

Happy couple sh*ts.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like this.

I do these

romance novel sh**t.

With the hair-flying Barbarian

and the Princess stuff?

Right.

Do you like that stuff?

Ah, it's okay.

It's weird 'cause they

just take my photos

and turn 'em into drawings.

Do you enjoy that stuff or?

Depends on how

hot the girl is.

Half the time they're

fresh out of high school,

not much

to talk about.

Besides, I'm standing

there in my underwear,

holding this plastic sword,

feeling like a tool.

Yeah, I'll bet.

So what do you do?

Real estate legal work.

Compared to what

you do, it's boring.

Oh, but you got brains,

you're smart.

Me, I get a pimple,

or slack off on training,

I'm out of work.

Speaking of work, just

right in the lens, please.

Right here.

Uh, Paul, you gotta smile, okay?

There it is, happy couple.

Sorry, I'm not

used to smiling.

Everybody wants that

bad boy look, you know?

Oh, Kate doesn't

like bad boys.

No.

Okay.

So, hey, tilt your

head back when you smile.

Oh, right.

Let the light sparkle in your

eyes, reduce the shadows.

Yeah.

There it is.

Okay, next.

Just back up a little,

you're in my light.

Oh, I'm so sorry,

first time.

Oh, no,

you're doing great.

Doing great.

Mr. Hines?

Yes, Kari?

It's Joanne McKenzie again.

The wedding conspiracy lady.

Tell her I'm busy.

She said she'll wait all day.

Tell her I'm busy all day.

I should get danger pay.

And nobody at her work knew

until they saw that

picture in the paper, okay?

Because she wasn't

getting married

until she won that contest!

She was

just pretending.

You get that?

Yeah.

Yes, yes, ma'am.

Sorry, I just have to--

Read it back to me, okay?

Just read it back to me.

All of it.

I want to make sure

you didn't screw it up

before your boss gets this.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

You won't be smiling

when I rain all over

your cheating parade.

A quarter turn to the right,

show a slight profile.

And lean back to

tighten the abs.

Okay, that looks...

Okay, we're not selling

underwear though.

I know, sorry.

Hey, I been thinking

about this Raoul guy.

I'm seeing him as a

sort of an adventurer.

He's got this look

like he's always on the

look-out for danger.

Oh, what if he's always on

the look-out for Kate Wilde?

Yeah.

And then maybe just really

wanted to get to know her

and then talk with her and

maybe one day marry her.

Yeah, use that.

Oh, sorry, I thought

you were kidding.

No.

You know what,

just look at her

the way that

she's looking at you.

Like this?

Yeah.

So, she's single.

Oh, congratulations in quotation

marks, and then "wink, wink".

Well, soon, I'll be

sipping on champagne.

What else we got?

Nice, okay, next?

Okay, I'm going to go

have a look at those.

- I'll be back.

- Right on, that rocked!

Yeah, it was great.

Awesome, good stuff.

All right, see you later.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Hey, Kate.

He kissed me!

Um, where?

I need deets.

In the photo shop.

No, no, I mean where?

Like mouth, or cheek?

Mouth.

Open or closed?

Closed.

For how long?

Did it linger?

No. But it wasn't

like Wham Bam, either.

Just hang on a second.

Andy!

Yeah?

Thank you so much for today.

I have to get going,

but I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah.

Where are you?

I'm coming over.

Bye.

Thanks for everything, Andy.

It was a fun sh**t.

So were his eyes open?

I think so.

It happened fast.

But we spent 20 minutes

holding each other

and, oh, he smells so good.

And looking into

each other's eyes,

oh, he has beautiful eyes.

But what if he was just

acting, playing a part?

Like he was supposed

to kiss me, so he did,

but he didn't actually mean it?

Well did he say anything

before the kiss?

Um, thank you, that was fun.

And after?

See you later, see you

around, something like that.

The blood was kind of

roaring in my ears.

Now I know what

people feel like

when they get

hit by lightning.

But we are

meeting tomorrow

and doing a sh**t

at a tuxedo shop.

A sh**t, hey?

Is that what you, Cindy,

and Tyra call those things?

Megs, please,

this isn't funny.

He's gonna show up

looking fantastic

and I'm going to look like

some tongue-tied idiot

with fat earlobes.

Fat what?

Megs, supermodels

are the most

beautiful people

on the planet.

Of course they kiss

each other all the time,

I mean, why wouldn't they?

So, maybe in their world,

it doesn't mean anything.

Kate, a kiss always

means something.

Yeah, to us, it does.

But he's probably already

forgotten this kiss

that you and I are

dissecting to death.

I'm coming over right now.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Who is it?

It's me, you putz, let me in!

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

Don't look at me

like that, Kate.

Everything's all right.

You and Dave?

Oh, Megs.

Kate Wilde, legal department.

Kate.

Hi, it's Kari,

assistant to Mr. Hines

of Calgary Modern

Wedding magazine?

Your business gave

me this work number.

Um, okay.

Okay, we're having trouble

reaching Andy Swenson

for a photo assignment.

Are you gonna be seeing

him today or tomorrow?

Um, tomorrow

morning, at Topman's.

Topman's!

Great, good.

We will give him a

call when you're done.

Have fun.

Okay, thank you, bye.

Oh, but you

won't be having fun.

I bet mommy and daddy don't

know nothing from nothing

about any of this.

20 minutes late and he

takes forever to get ready.

Yeah, you get used

to waiting on models.

I can go get

him if you want.

Sorry, you two.

It's been a while since

I've been draped in gold.

Am I hitting this or what?

Yes, you are.

Oh my god.

Oh my gosh.

Mom, Dad, what are

you doing here?

For the pictures.

What pictures?

The ones with your fiance.

When the heck were

you going to tell us?

Excuse me.

What's going on?

How did you know I was here?

A woman called us.

From the marriage magazine.

Said you'd won some contest

and that we were to come here.

And get our pictures taken.

We couldn't believe it at first.

Until we saw that

picture on the Internet.

Picture?

What picture on the Internet?

Some little paper's website.

That lady told

us how to find it.

But, but, why

didn't you call me?

She asked us not to.

Said this was to

be a big surprise.

Oh, yes, it is.

We tried calling Megan, and

she's not answering her cell.

Would you two just excuse

me just for one second?

We need to talk.

Are those your parents?

The people I called Mom and

Dad, yeah, they're my parents!

They're awesome.

What are they doing here?

I don't know.

But supposedly you're

taking their photo later.

I am?

I don't know

anything about that.

Karma, honey.

When you lie and cheat,

it bites you in the butt.

How did you two meet?

You two don't...

What has Kate

told you about us?

Nothing.

By the way, may I say,

you are very handsome.

Are you a model?

I am.

And a fitness trainer.

I'm also a treasure

hunter in Central America.

Really?

Wow.

Where in Central America?

Oh, all of it.

It's a pleasure

to meet you two.

It's uh...

Unfortunately,

my parents couldn't be here.

They were k*lled

during the revolution.

Oh my heavens.

My Lord, which revolution?

The latest one.

There are so many.

Well, the magazine called

me earlier asking for you,

so I know that you

talked to them.

I never talked to

the magazine, I swear.

Okay, well, someone

told my parents.

And if it wasn't you, or

me, or Megs, or Paul, who...

Oh gosh, Paul.

Diving in the shipwreck,

there were sharks everywhere.

Paul.

Paul, what are you doing?

Just talking with your

lovely parents here.

Paul is the English

translation of my real name.

Raoul has been telling us

all about his adventures.

Really?

A model, a fitness trainer,

and a treasure hunter?

You sure our Kate won't be a

little bit too dull for you?

Thanks, dad.

Paul, can we just talk

to you for a second?

Of course, darling.

We'll be right back, okay.

What do you think you're doing?

Being Raoul.

You asked me to.

But not for my parents!

Why not?

What does it matter?

We're breaking

up soon anyway.

That reminds me,

what if Raoul dies?

He's fighting the rebels.

Paul.

Okay, a simple

break-up works too.

Look, I just can't

lie to my parents

about getting married.

You're not, we're not.

Come on, just let me be

Raoul for a little bit.

Kate, I work in a sweaty,

stinky gym all day.

It sucks like dead ducks.

Just give me this

little bit of a fantasy.

I agreed to give

you yours, right?

Just tell your parents

that you won a contest,

and then met me.

We're just figuring things out.

That's all true so far.

Come on,

I'm enjoying this time.

Especially with you.

Hugging?

Kissing?

Please?

Everything all right?

Yep, yep!

Yes, it's good,

just one second.

So, how did you two meet?

Um...

Katherine, if I may.

We met after I'd returned

from under-the-sea treasure

hunting for Cortez's gold.

Yeah, Paul, Raoul,

I don't think that my parents

are really interested.

Oh, we are very interested.

So have you ever

found any treasures?

I have, yes.

The most precious one.

Your daughter.

Now where was I?

Ah, Montezuma's gold.

Oh, great story.

Thought it

was Cortez's gold.

There is a lot of it.

I can't believe

I agreed to this.

I need my head examined!

Hey, I mean, your parents

seem to be quite taken

by Captain Jack

Sparrow over there.

You seem to be doing

quite well yourself, lass.

With Raoul, yeah.

With Paul, I have no idea.

Andy, it's driving me crazy.

He wouldn't be doing Raoul

if he was serious about me.

Raoul and I are breaking

up in two weeks.

Well, then maybe he just-

And you know, he's

kissed me twice now.

And then he said he's

enjoying this and me.

I just need to talk to someone.

Sure.

Excuse me.

Megs, pick up.

Her phone's been

off for two hours,

where could she possibly go?

I don't know.

Oh, Megs,

about time. Listen.

No, no, no, me first.

Dave and I are getting married!

Uh, duh, I know that.

No, I mean, like we're

getting married this Sunday.

Civil ceremony,

10 o'clock, Bridgewood hall.

Sunday?

Like, in a few days from now?

Yes.

We spent all morning

arranging it.

And right after that,

we're going to go on a week

long honeymoon in Hawaii.

But I thought you guys

couldn't afford that.

We can't.

But we've gotta do this.

Kate, the wedding stress

was just tearing us apart.

And we forgot the

most important thing,

just us being together.

So, for seven days, we're

going to kick back, relax,

and just be happy.

But I can't talk right now.

I've gotta call Mom and Dad.

Oh, well, I can

do that for you.

They're here with me and Paul.

What?

It's a long story.

I don't have time,

I have to go.

Kate, hey.

Raoul was just telling us

about now he nearly

escaped with his life

from a giant boulder and

it was kinda like a movie.

I'm sure it was.

Listen, everybody,

I have big news.

Wedding this Sunday.

Yeah, it's a little rushed,

but seven day

honeymoon in Hawaii.

Honeymoon in Hawaii?

It's at 10:00 a.m., Bridgewood.

Mr. Hines!

Mr. Hines!

It's me, Joanne McKenzie!

Remember?

The one who discovered the

fake dream wedding winner?

I just need a

minute of your time!

Website said you

were open till five!

I'm coming,

don't break my doors.

Kate knows that I'm on to her.

That I'm getting

closer and closer

to discovering

her little plot.

We have been through

this before, lady-

Just listen!

She's getting married

this Sunday, not in June.

What?

I heard it with

my own two ears.

So I think she's gonna

marry one of her friends,

go on a fantastic

Hawaiian holiday,

and then get

a quickie divorce.

You can come with me, see

for yourself, ask around.

In fact, you can even

ask Kate herself.

Joanne, good bye,

good night, get help.

If you don't,

I am going to go on TV,

I'm gonna tell the papers

that this contest is a fraud

and that you knew and

did nothing about it.

And then I'm going to sue

you and your little magazine.

And if I go along with you?

No lawyers,

no paper, no TV.

No more you?

No me, ever.

Why would Kate want a

cheapie civil ceremony

when she could have your

big, beautiful wedding?

See what she says.

This Sunday?

Sunday.

Ms. McKenzie.

You know, mate, I was

the first Raoul DeCredenza.

You were?

Yeah.

Got fired though.

Girls said I was

too good-looking.

Yeah, I hear that.

After today, I think

Raoul's gonna disappear

into the Amazon

jungle or something.

Paul, smile.

Just back up a little bit.

Okay.

Oh, that's great, yeah.

Oh my God,

he is gorgeous.

You mean your husband,

of course?

Uh, yeah, of course.

Okay, how do I look?

Oh, Katey,

don't make me cry.

If my mascara runs I'm gonna

look like some goth chick.

You ready?

Let's do this.

Okay.

About time!

Look.

It's a JP,

not a minister.

Come on.

Yeah, see, little faker.

Even had the nerve

to wear white.

Oh dear, oh dear.

- Well?

- Well, what?

I see someone

getting married.

I see Andy

taking pictures.

Yeah, well,

they're in on it.

I saw them

plotting together.

That's enough.

Now I kept up my

end of the bargain,

it's time for you

to do the same.

No, no, no,

no, no, no, no!

Where you going?

Home.

I came,

I saw, I'm leaving.

If that's what they truly want,

I'm more than happy with it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

You haven't talked to anybody!

Lady, you need help.

Now let go.

Fine. The prize is mine

and I'll prove it!

All right, sister,

tell me the truth!

Who are you?

And why are you over there?

Are you bloody mad?

Get out!

Bob?

Bob Hines, hi.

What are you doing here?

He's with me.

Here to expose this fraud.

This is a fake wedding.

No, actually,

we are getting married.

Who is she?

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Everybody, please.

I'm terribly sorry, but

this is a tragic mistake.

Ask them.

Ask her!

Will you be quiet.

You are so insane!

Where are you going

for your honeymoon?

We've going to Hawaii.

And which hotel?

Uh, it's a youth hostel.

Well, not anymore.

You're staying in a five star

hotel in a honeymoon suite.

Everything's paid for,

food, drinks, all paid for.

If you want to drink

champagne all day

and eat caviar all day, then

by all means, you go ahead.

Oh my gosh.

Thanks, mate.

Whoever you are.

And you, we're

leaving right now

or I'm calling the police.

No.

They might be getting

married but she's not.

Ask her!

I am so sorry

about all this.

It's just not fair!

It's not fair,

you're leaving.

She's not getting

married in June!

Wait.

She's right.

I am?

I told you.

I told you, I knew it!

Really?

So, I get the prize,

like we discussed.

Yes.

I get the dream wedding!

Yes.

You can have it.

I don't need it.

Yes!

Now, Myron can't

say no to me.

I'm going to

call him right now!

Ah, 'cause he's

such a cheap turd!

Wow.

Mr. Hines, no one

else knew about this,

it was all just me.

And me.

Me too.

Me three.

Uh, four.

Kate, this was all my fault.

You can take back the

whole hotel thing.

It doesn't really

matter where we stay.

Is it all true?

- Yes.

- Yeah.

And Raoul?

Was he even real?

Well, sort of.

I'm Paul.

But I play Raoul.

Hello, Raoul.

Mom and Dad, I'm so sorry,

I'm not actually

getting married.

I thought it might

be too good to be true.

So this is how many now?

Oh, stop it!

Dad!

Runs in the bloody family.

Alright, everybody, Megan and

I still have to get married.

And we've got

a plane to catch.

So somebody

lock the bloody door

and let's do this.

Yes, let's do this.

Here comes the bride, Myron!

Pop the

champagne, baby!

Well, cheers to my baby

sister and her new husband.

I hope they

at least got

matching bunk

beds in the hostel.

Of course, they could've been

at a five star luxury hotel

if I hadn't opened

my big fat mouth.

Well, cheers to

big fat mouths.

Andy, you didn't

have to do that.

I wish you hadn't.

You say that now?

They all look so handsome.

Well, that's because

the photographer's

really, really good.

Yeah, I could probably

hook you guys up.

You're funny.

And very sweet.

Hello?

S'up, Kate, it's Paul.

Oh, Paul, hi!

I'm just at

Andy's and we're

looking at some

wedding pictures

and having some wine.

A lot of wine.

Hey, Kate, I been thinking.

I really enjoyed being Raoul

and hanging out with you.

I was wondering if...

Yes?

Well, if you wanna

hang out sometime.

You know,

nothing heavy, keep it cool,

and see where it goes.

Are you at

the gym right now?

Yeah, low reps,

little cardio.

You know,

just working it.

Your gym is

open at this hour?

No, no, no, no,

I'm alone.

Hey, you wanna come by

and work up a sweat?

You mean, work up a

sweat with no commitments?

Paul, are you standing

in front of a mirror

with a spotlight

on you right now?

Can you see me?

No, I can't.

Actually...

I don't want to come

by and work up a sweat.

Well, next time, maybe.

Yeah.

Later, maybe.

I overheard

a little of that.

You okay?

Yeah.

I guess.

Hi.

Hi.

I uh...

I wrote

something for you.

So, I'm just gonna,

just gonna read it.

Roses are red,

and violets are blue.

I thought I'd try on this

bad boy jacket for you.

I thought about striking

a pose, you know,

or maybe changing my

voice, shaving my beard,

but to be honest, that

just all sounded weird.

Oddly enough, I had

a really good time

trying to find

you another guy,

but deep down inside I longed

for the two week finish line,

where you would break up

because I felt like

I was the next guy,

the nice guy, in line.

And I just really wanted your

eyes to say hello to mine.

Now there was a

time you mentioned

that nice

guys were good,

but the problem was they

were too shy to ask girls out

and that,

that I understood.

I thought of all these

other things I could do.

But all I really want

is to just sit and talk

and maybe share another

grilled cheese with you.

So, Kate, would you like

to go out with me sometime?

You know

what I realized?

What?

I don't really

like leather jackets.

No?

You know what, me neither.

Take that off.

I tried.

It was a good try.

Thanks.

You did all that for me?

Yeah.

You're a lucky man.

Hey, you brought us together.

Now step back,

you're in my light, bro.

Hi.

Hi.